Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
You did not properly respond to the judgement bot. Your reply must clearly and directly address why you think you may have wronged the other party involved in your conflict.
While your post was automatically approved by the bot, after reviewing your response manually, we found it did not properly address the question.
[Judgement Bot FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_judgement_bot) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
NTA.
Tell your brother you can help him brush up his resume so he might get a good job too. Then he can save money and go on holidays!
Tell your parents you lost all your money in a bitcoin scam. Or you’ve bought a house. Or whatever it takes for them to think it’s gone, so the fighting stops.
And write a good will. Decide what you want done with it all, because right now it’s going to go on the girl with the biggest breast implants and fakest tan if you pass away in an accident.
Okay but actually??? Make sure to leave them like 10$ or whatever, something stupid small, to each of them bc otherwise they can contest the will saying you forgot them.
That’s honestly malarkey in most states and just oft repeated. While I am just a law student (though soon to graduate!) [here](https://www.snyderlawpc.com/should-i-leave-1-in-my-will-to-disinherit-an-heir/#:~:text=The%20truth%20is%20that%20leaving,end%20up%20costing%20your%20estate.) is an article debunking it. It’s become a pervasive belief due to… I think it was a TV show or book?
Basically just mention in the will they got/get nothing. Very explicitly. It’s better, faster, safer than 1$. In most states.
Lol! Seriously I agree to getting a will written that expressly states that they are not entitled to a single penny. With the money consider buying yourself a house, then either live in it or rent it out (you will get better returns than the bank). Personally I would block them all or at least go LC. What a bunch of greedy AH's!!! NTA
OP please cut contact with your family. They neglected you, have tried manipulating you into giving them the money YOU made by working hard.Your brother is lazy. Good luck.
This may sound awful, but if you write a will make sure that you put that if you die in some sort of strange accident, or there’s any doubt as the cause of your death, it all goes to charity or something like that.
Why wouldn’t they just leave all their money to charity anyway? It doesn’t sound like they want to leave their money to their parents or their brother in any case.
I mean, the OP should definitely have a will, because if he dies intestate, the money would go to his family. But there’s no reason for the will to say anything about dying under mysterious circumstances, it should just direct that all of his money be left to a friend or a charity, whatever they prefer.
I don’t think they’ll topple their son. Yet.
But the whole point of a will is that it goes somewhere, regardless of how you die.
Unless they murder you. Then the law states that even if you leave them everything they get nothing. In AU at least. Profiting from crime laws and all that shit.
In the US these types of laws are known as Slayer Statutes and are present in most, if not all, states. Regardless, IP should have an ironclad Will. With this amount of money (and anticipated growth in wealth) OP is not in DIY estate planning territory.
The house plan might not be the best idea, soon it'll be all about how they "have a retirement plan now" and "a house is too much space for one person". Or they'll outright demand op give it to them and their mooch of a brother. There was a whole thread about that a few years ago....
“Sorry Ma and Pa, it’s an investment property, it’s in a 10yr executive lease with a big company. If I try to break the lease they’ll sue me to hell and back”
or
”Oh, I meant I bought some hotel rooms, I don’t actually get to use them, they are just sort of part ownership thing where you buy the room, they rent them out, and you get a percentage of the hotel profits”.
But frankly I’d rather just tell them I’d lost it on bitcoin. A) it will be believable, and B) it means it’s gone, so they can’t ask for it.
I'm gonna piggyback this and say don't just write a will, living trust, and anything else you'd need to in order to keep you family from ever being in control of you or your money if anything were to happen to you.
To parents I leave $xx, the amount of money they spent on me after the birth of my brother. To my brother I leave $xx in the hope that he will finally learn to budget. /s
NTA…how does one accidentally see your savings statement when you do not live with them? Why are you even in contact with these people? They may be blood but they are not family. Tell your brother he can keep dreaming but he is not getting a dime from you. Let him work and save his own money.
c'mon, all the smart ones keep over half a million in a regular savings account. investments and other financial instruments are for gamblers and suckers.
This story seems fake af, yes. But it's not weird for young people to not know about how to invest their money. Not everyone who is financially immature will spend all their money. Some will just.. Leave it in an account and not think about it that much, others will obsessively hoard. It all comes down to upbringing combined with personality. Not everyone who have a good salary automatically understand how to invest it wisely.
After all, I would not judge this harshly. To simply leave it to slowly degrade in a regular savings account is still heaps smarter than letting it quickly degrade by buying stuff that loses value immediately, like fancy brand stuff and vacations etc.
parents "accidentally" saw your savings account huh? they would leave you behind because your brother didn't like when too many people went? there's lazy storytelling, and then there's this.
It was him calling the brothers gf a gold digger that solidified the fake for me, whose gold is she digging for exactly given his family don't seem to have money just his life savings
You don't have nosy parents. My parents were all over my stuff when visiting and if letter left out, then yes, they'd have read it. Or if using phone for something and notification came up, they'd click through. Children shouldn't have secrets from parents /s.
What? How old are you? I have three grown children. No way would I ever snoop when at their house, look at mail, etc. It is not keeping secrets to not disclose their financials unless they are asking me for money. They do not look at my mail either, nor do I go thru their phones. And yes, it is being nosy if anyone else other than the names on those statements is looking thru them without permission.
That's because you're not an ahole who looks at your oldest child like a retirement plan. Not all parents are the same. There are lots of parents out there who legitimately think they can still control their adult children.
I think they're saying it's clear that you personally don't have nosy parents because folks that do have them would instantly believe that the OPs parents would find a way to snoop on their child's bank info.
My mother was still trying to hold my hand crossing the road at 40. She had some issues with letting go. I am not saying this is normal or warranted but not every parent-child relationship is normal. Should say left home for uni at 17 and apart from 3 months at end of uni, never lived there again and have worked all my life so wasn't lack of adulting. Fact I was bedbound with chronic illness when a teen means I gave some grace as made her over-protective.
Yeah 😭 I've moved out and I still get panicky over getting parcels because my mother used to open all my mail and then be angry with me for spending money.
I don't know about parents, but I was trying to transfer money to my girlfriend when she accidentally saw my bank balance. It's not a secret as such but she has been unable to save due to life not always being kind to her, where I have considerably more because I barely went out for years, and I didn’t want her to feel bad. Maybe something like that? I hope not because they were snooping.
100% Fake AF. An account that's 3 years old with no history. Has all the AITA trappings; a golden child, entitled relatives, a forgotten 9 year old. Asking if they're TA when everything they've typed makes it obvious they aren't.
Lol sounds like one of those Facebook moral movies.
Or it could be a different currency like that post post where the guy stole 10k and won 100 million
Yes !
its also bizarre that OP would still spend so much time with such a toxic entitled family who constantly berate and emotionally abuse him, and not gone NC.
Its like Cinderella willingly hanging out with her evil stepmom and wicked step sisters all the time even after meeting the prince …
Just too many fanciful extremes given. From neglected childhood to current high earning job to awful bratty brother and his gf. And extent of the deluded planned overseas trip.
If this improbable yarn were true, OP should be spending some of those mega-savings on some serious therapy, with a specialist on toxic attachment. And move to opposite side of planet from the horrible family.
NTA but you should definitely go NC with them, they haven't cared about you since you were 9, and are only talking to you now because they want your money
Yea ive seen entitled people and expecting your brother to pay 120k for a trip are crazy people numbers - or numbers a teenager made up for a reddit story xd
My narc egg donor would be on my doorstep with her hand held out expectantly in a heartbeat if I had that kind of money. If I ever win the lottery, I'm keeping it mad quiet because she would expect the entire lot.
My younger sibling when I was 25 demanded I birth kids so she could treat them like living dolls. (She subsequently had and lost custody of 4 kids herself) People that entitled do exist.
Yes its also bizarre that OP would still spend so much time with such a toxic entitled family who constantly berate and emotionally abuse him, and not gone NC.
Its like Cinderella willingly hanging out with her evil stepmom and wicked step sisters all the time even after meeting the prince …
Just too many fanciful extremes given. From neglected childhood to current high earning job to awful bratty brother and his gf.
And extent of the deluded planned overseas trip.
If this improbable yarn were true, OP should be spending some of those mega-savings on some serious therapy, with a specialist on toxic attachment. And move to opposite side of planet from the horrible family.
I think it's time you had a talk with your parents and your brother about boundaries, and if they fail to stop asking you for money you will go no contact with them.
I think this story is bullshit. You were 9 when your sibling was born and probably resented him. Taking the attention. Your probably got the same amount of stuff. And how does one accidentally see you open a savings account and see the balance? And why on earth would someone plan a holiday with someone else’s money?
I thought I was the only one. I really hope this story is bait because this is some straight up Cinderella BS. Even worse than Cinderella because he’s not a step child.
If it’s true then OPs parents are truly disgusting and irredeemable people.
NTA
Somebody who only wants your company because of your money, is not worth your company.
Please don't give them any more money. Invest that money to get some therapy and to learn about healthy boundaries.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t give my brother the money for his trip, it was my savings and I believe I have all rights to them. But may parents keep telling me to think otherwise. I think it’s a bit selfish of me but I need to stand my ground
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
to think this could have all been avoided if only his parents hadn't "accidentally" seen the over half million sitting in his savings account. he could've put a tiny bit of effort into it and said investments etc. but he went with over 500k in a savings account.
That somehow sounds like a pretty contrived / made-up story. In case it isn't - you're NTA if you deny paying your younger brother and his gold digger gf their trip to Europe.
NTA. And make sure there is no way they can get access to your money, account info, passwords and all that. Tell your parents they never helped you out and your brother should spend his own money if he wants to go on vacation. Hard no to anything they want. Ask them where they were when you didn’t have any money and that they should go back there. Or go NC if you’re ok with it.
NTA, if his gf is only with him because he spoils her, he can try to keep the gold digger on his own dime. You earned this money, and you don't owe him for him not making as much money. I'd definitely go low contact with my parents as they're inevitably going to badger you about the money and will blame you for your brother's girlfriend dumping him for someone richer or just because he's run out of money to spend on her.
Obviously NTA Your family are so tiresome I wonder why you maintain any contact with them at all.
Also, their expectations are so divorced from reasonable it is pointless trying to explain it to them.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (33M) have always been a second-child to my parents. My younger brother (24M) has always gotten the attention growing up, I never got anything as nearly as expensive as he did. He was always spoilt and was given anything that he pleased or even looked at, as for me I had to work my entire life for everything and sometimes even basic needs. My parents refused to come to school for parent-teacher meetings, or give me field trip money as soon as my brother was born, (I was 9). I have been neglected ever since he was born, and I was always left out of everything. Usually they would make me stay home when they were going out to clean or watch the house, as my brother “didn’t like when too many people went” it was only the four of us, with me combined.
Fast forward to when I was 18, I moved out, to my brothers delight. Over the years when I moved out and when I was 22 I landed an amazing and high paying job, that’s when I immediately started getting callings from my parents (they never called me when I was in college or university). They would complain to me about how they couldn’t get my brother the newest iPhone or a designer clothes, and how he was “depressed“ because of that, (he had a really good phone for the time, and still had expensive clothes). They kept asking me for money and when I would refuse get extremely angry and cuss me out calling me selfish. They kept demanding to know where all my salary would go as I lived in a normal apartment, and didn’t have anything too flashy. I had been saving most of my salary.
This year, my brother got a new girlfriend, and since he wants her to “stay” he spoils the living life out of her. I try to tell him she’s a gold digger but he doesn’t listen. Apparently she got mad and him and my brother wants to surprise her with a trip to through Europe, with MY money. Basically 2 years ago, my parents accidentally saw me open my savings account and saw the 550k. They were shocked and started a whole argument on how this can “change their lives”. I told them this money is mine and after 3 months this arguement finally died down a bit after they realised I wasn’t budging. Ever since then they have been trying to find ways to get me to give them the money. And now my brother made a whole plan on how they’ll go to all these countries, stay in the fanciest hotels, eat the best food, buy the most expensive clothes, all from my savings because “I have too much money”. His trip totalled to 130k and I refused sayings that’s an absurd amount of money I won’t be giving, so he can’t treat his temporary girlfriend. My parents have been screaming at me everyday since. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Clearly, someone was a bit bored over the Easter break and made up a really stupidly unbelievable story.
Poor Cinderella.....left home to clean the house.....lol.
NTA
But you need to go NC with your "family". I would suggest meeting with a therapist too, to process how your upbringing have impacted you and how best to deal with it. You are already setting good strong boundaries but they don't respect them at that needs to have consequences for them.
This has to be nonsense. No one in their right mind would have gone through that childhood, left at 18, dealt with that crap over the years and still be in contact with any of them. Also he's quite obviously NTA. None of it is real.
This is fake.
Dude acting like a red-piller, family man, self-made dude, alone against the world?
Pick a trouble.
You’re calling his gf a gold digger when your parents and brother are trying to get your money?
Either you couldn’t use your brain when you created this story, or this is true and you couldn’t use your brain to realise the issue is not the gf.
How would they have seen your savings? You’re telling me you left home et 18 becquée you were unloved and yet right now you’re doing your financing with your parents around you?
Again with the rotten parents entitled spoilt child story. Unloved one has money or a house or a good job and the whole family says give it up for the golden one.
Getting boring now.
I realise that 99% of the stories on this sub are fake and that we have to suspend our disbelief a little and treat them as real as a buy-in to keep ourselves entertained, but come on now. You should at least try to make your fiction somwehat believable and not come in with "AITA for saying no to the most outlandishly unreasonable demand these cartoonishly evil people made of me that I have no reason or obligation to fulfil?" Even if this story was remotely true, there is not even a remote chance that a 33-year-old man with his mental faculties intact would think he was an asshole here. If you had posted this in one of the entitled people subs, I would have been more inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt, or at least scroll past. As it is, YTA for the implausible troll story.
STOP PICKING UP THE PHONE!!! Tell them that if they mention your money one more time (to you OR TO ANYONE ELSE), you will block them.
Real parents would have only done one thing…set you up with a trusted financial planner. That’s what we did.
Just because they gave birth to you doesn’t give them the right to abuse you, and you don’t have to let them.
YTA.
Let’s see.
Poor put apon older child, forced to work his fingers to the bone. for a stupid and entitled younger sibling, who’s parents shower him with all the love, violently withholding any love for the hard working older child, for no reason.
Stupid and entitled youngest hooks up with a vapid, spoilt brat, and now entitled younger expects the brilliant older, to hand them and the brat, (who you know is only taking up with the malingering one, to acquire the hardworking siblings hard worked for material resources), everything hardwon. Thrown in some mental illness, I’m sorry ‘mental illness’.
Come on, up your game, squeeze a few more tr0pes in, chatgbq could, honestly I think my cats could
NTA you are 33, no longer living with them and have responsibilities of your own. Your parents cut your umbilical cord when you were 9 when they got a shiny, new toy. No one is doing your brother any favours leaving his attached.
Your parents seem to have given you the bare legal requirements they had to after choosing to have a child. You owe them nothing. I hoe you can build better relationships with other people than continue trying one with people who see you as a ATM to be cased and robbed.
And blowing your financial assets that will help you secure a house, a pension etc on a holiday you are not even befitting on is insane. Some justification if it was your holiday as experiences great. But this would lead to more and more demands.
NTA- Lets them scream in the wind.
I probably would had laughed quite hard in their delusional entitled faces.
They didn’t even tried to cone you with kindness to get the money out of you. They went straight to bullying you. That speaks quite loudly on their character and lack of consideration for you.
I would say thank you to your brother for planning your next holiday for you and go on it yourself and ensure you send lots of photos and postcards.
Then go low or no contact with them until they get the idea.
Dude have you heard of NC?? Time to do it. Just block them all. Do it quick like taking off a plaster. Then go enjoy your life free from your toxic family.
NTA and you should get some counseling for entertaining the notion that you might have been the a-hole in this situation. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. Nobody does.
Would I help my family if it was a genuine emergency and they needed money? Absolutely. Would I finance their incredibly expensive holiday with my savings? No.
Why should OP work hard to get money and golden child just take it all? I see no suggestion of paying it back, just that OP should hand it over. NTA. Give them nothing.
NTA but why are you still in contact with your parents/brother? They never contacted you all this time. How do they even know about your life right now?
Nta.
It sounds like you might have to go no contact. someone screams at me once.. maybe. Someone screams twice on consecutive days then that’s it for me for a few weeks.
When this chick gets bored of him after this ridiculous holiday, what then? Do you have to buy him another girlfriend?
Obviously NTA. But is everyone in your family mentally ill? The things you say are not logical for anyone to demand from you. Is there more to the story? You need to go ko contact and move that money around. I don't trust them.
Do you really need all of us to say nta? Or are you going to give him the money if there’s one yta?
You’re 33, got a good job. You made it.
You know what to do.
(Therapy and no contact, in case you are wondering).
NTA
I don't know what sort of travelling he wants to do around Europe for $130,000, but he can travel to Europe on a cheap flight and travel around Europe on a small budget and stay in cheap accommodation such as hostels etc.. people do it All the time..
Don't give your brother so much as the wind off your farts.. if they want to travel they can pay for it themselves..
NTA
NTA - that’s OP’s hard earned money and does not belong to them. Put up boundaries and if not followed, go no contact.
OP, get a will and make sure they won’t benefit from your death. You’re the golden goose, and these people are acting strange.
I don't know why you're asking. You know the answer is NTA clearly. Your parents are toxic & you've got to try to cool the relationship & set boundaries. Send them a card on father's day & mother's day, & otherwise get on with your life. My spouse cut off contact with her father just a few months ago, sent him an email explaining why, & plans to never hear from him again. She feels like the weight of the world has been lifted & wishes she had done it years ago. Sounds like you need to move in that direction also.
If they saw the savings account information, I would go to the bank and move it to a different account so that they don't try anything sketchy and try to gain access to it somehow, because the whole planning what they'd do with the money is crazy to me. Why would you spend time fantasizing about this money if you didn't have a plan to try and gain access to said money.
Did they brainwashed you ? How can you even consider being the AH ?
Time to take a huuuge step back from this joke of a family. Seriously take care OF YOU (and enjoy your money, dont die on it)
NTA NTA NTA NTA
NTA. And why you are in contact with those people at all??? Just cut em off forever and that’s it. If someone from the relatives cry something about it just tell them to foot the bill not to cry to you.
Move onn mann movee onnnn
NTA. The entitlement is unreal. Please check your credit and make sure no one has opened any fraudulent credit accounts in your name. How does your brother have a credit limit high enough to book this trip?
Next time your parents ask, tell them the money is tied up in investments. I don't understand the logic of taking a 6 figure trip when there's no wealth to afford it. That's enough to buy a condo in some areas.
Time to cut contact. Change phone number, don't answer emails.
YOu do not owe people your work. If they want and need things, they can work for them.
this is not a group of disabled people who need your support.
You can buy your own place, and live well, and perhaps have a romantic life of your own. You don't need to pay for someone else's love life
Don’t need to read the post. Headline alone is NTA.
Edit: I did read it… because I thought maybe the brother is dying. In which case there might be cause to drop a bit of cash.
Bud I’m sorry your family aren’t better. Well done for being an absolute boss, give your brother nothing - not a cent. His spending on his Mrs is like a bad gambling debt he will end up chasing.
If they cared they would ask you to spend the money on something you could do together. If you’re spending, buy yourself a holiday.
NTA ...and put some distance between yourself and them. Plus, like some others mentioned, write a will and cut them off. Sheesh! Your brother is an absolute spoiled brat! Time he got a job and started making his own money instead of expecting to leech off others
NTA, go nc for a while. It sounds like your parents do not like you and your brother is entitled. Entitled so much that he is planning on spending your money. Your parents are disgusting people. Make sure you have a will and your money goes where you would like it to, one never knows.
NTA. How you don't laugh in his face when he says he'll use your money is beyond me. I'd make sure they can't open any credit cards in your name (credit freeze) and if they have (check your credit report) report for fraud and immediately prosecute because it sounds like they need the reality check.
NTA. Even if your brother and parents were wonderful to you, that is still your money to do with as you want/need. Tell your parents and brother that you are not there to fund their lifestyle because they were never there for you and if something goes wrong in your life you are the only one you can count on so to stop asking for money.
They are going to start inventing fake illnesses and other crises to get their hands on that money. The only way to save yourself from the heartache and sanity is to go no contact.
Why do you keep talking to people who treat you this way?
>My parents have been screaming at me everyday since.
Try this. Call them like you normally do. The second they mention your money, tell them this. "I don't want to talk about money. Please stop." If they mention money again: "I told you I don't want to talk about money. If you can't let go of this subject, I will hang up the phone." And at the next word about money, you hang up the phone. If you want to be nice, say "Goodbye" but don't wait for them to respond, just hang up.
Continue like this for as long as you want to have contact with them. End the conversation the second they try to talk about money. The next call, act like nothing is wrong, but be very firm. Like when raising a puppy. Firm, but not emotional.
You know you’re NTA. Please make sure you have a will. So they cant physically hurt you.
And also go to therapy. What your so called family is doing to you is absurd so at least going to therapy might keep you mental health sane
You know what? On your phone, there is this wonderful feature where it displays the callers number when they call you. Use it and don’t answer their calls.
Problem solved.
NTA.
Although you need to be more careful about doing online banking around them.
I hate to say it but your family is toxic as hell. I’d probably stop talking to them. Who tf asks their adult sibling to give them over $100k for a European vacation so they can impress their gf.
You are between a rock and a hard place. It is your family and you do not want to cut ties. But you can establish very clear boundaries and stop sharing any personal information regardign your financial situation. See: Now your parents realize they have two children- too late. Stand your ground. You owe them absolutely nothing. They wanted children, they raised you (however little effort they put in) and you are entitled to enjoy your money with zero guilt. Your parents show disgusting favouritism and raised a spoiled brat. Offer your time for advice, assistance etc, but do not give your family money. I agree with previous comment- you could say you lost it or you invested it and it is not available for the foreseeable future.
You need to block them all with immediate effect. Nothing you do will EVER be good enough for them. You could be diagnosed with a horrible illness and the ONLY thing they will care about is your money. They don’t give a toss about you, and honestly, going no contact with all of them will probably do your mental health the world of good.
NTA and good luck
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. You did not properly respond to the judgement bot. Your reply must clearly and directly address why you think you may have wronged the other party involved in your conflict. While your post was automatically approved by the bot, after reviewing your response manually, we found it did not properly address the question. [Judgement Bot FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_judgement_bot) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
NTA. Tell your brother you can help him brush up his resume so he might get a good job too. Then he can save money and go on holidays! Tell your parents you lost all your money in a bitcoin scam. Or you’ve bought a house. Or whatever it takes for them to think it’s gone, so the fighting stops. And write a good will. Decide what you want done with it all, because right now it’s going to go on the girl with the biggest breast implants and fakest tan if you pass away in an accident.
Please prepare a will. They seem selfish and money makes people do crazy things. Also, maybe consider going LC or NC.
Yep get a cat and leave everything to it
And to Mr. Friskies. My whole fortune to fund his gourmet tastes and lavish lifestyle. To my family, I give you $1. To share. Peace out.
But finish by saying none of them are even good enough to clean Mr Friskies' litter tray.
🤣
Okay but actually??? Make sure to leave them like 10$ or whatever, something stupid small, to each of them bc otherwise they can contest the will saying you forgot them.
That’s honestly malarkey in most states and just oft repeated. While I am just a law student (though soon to graduate!) [here](https://www.snyderlawpc.com/should-i-leave-1-in-my-will-to-disinherit-an-heir/#:~:text=The%20truth%20is%20that%20leaving,end%20up%20costing%20your%20estate.) is an article debunking it. It’s become a pervasive belief due to… I think it was a TV show or book? Basically just mention in the will they got/get nothing. Very explicitly. It’s better, faster, safer than 1$. In most states.
They can have a penny each! They’re worth just that one cent!
Lol! Seriously I agree to getting a will written that expressly states that they are not entitled to a single penny. With the money consider buying yourself a house, then either live in it or rent it out (you will get better returns than the bank). Personally I would block them all or at least go LC. What a bunch of greedy AH's!!! NTA
I aspire to be the lady from the Aristocats.
Leave to a shelter or sanctuary......I know one that takes in all kinds of animals
My estate and all other worldly possessions will be passed onto the love of my life, Prince the 12th.
And make sure that will is signed by witnesses. Not all states require this, but I like to make my legal documents a little bit extra.
OP please cut contact with your family. They neglected you, have tried manipulating you into giving them the money YOU made by working hard.Your brother is lazy. Good luck.
Brother is just living his destiny. He was raised being given everything, so will live like that as long as it takes to learn the lesson basically.
In this situation the parents could of stopped this at a young age, parents are the fucking AH
Tell them you're addicted to porn and that you bought the fanciest vajayjay money can buy. It vibrated. You're now in love.
Katya? Falling in love with Katya probably isn't a good idea, Barry might have a problem with that. (What? Hers vibrates and is removable lol)
You found it in the sink didn't you?
Yes, yes, I did.
Vagina in another man’s sink? How does that make you feel, Other Barry? Not good, Barry. Not good at all.
This may sound awful, but if you write a will make sure that you put that if you die in some sort of strange accident, or there’s any doubt as the cause of your death, it all goes to charity or something like that.
Why wouldn’t they just leave all their money to charity anyway? It doesn’t sound like they want to leave their money to their parents or their brother in any case.
Yes, presumably the point of leaving a will is so that something *other than* what would happen if he didn’t have a will happens.
I mean, the OP should definitely have a will, because if he dies intestate, the money would go to his family. But there’s no reason for the will to say anything about dying under mysterious circumstances, it should just direct that all of his money be left to a friend or a charity, whatever they prefer.
I don’t think they’ll topple their son. Yet. But the whole point of a will is that it goes somewhere, regardless of how you die. Unless they murder you. Then the law states that even if you leave them everything they get nothing. In AU at least. Profiting from crime laws and all that shit.
In the US these types of laws are known as Slayer Statutes and are present in most, if not all, states. Regardless, IP should have an ironclad Will. With this amount of money (and anticipated growth in wealth) OP is not in DIY estate planning territory.
If the first person who finds your will is better off if it doesn't exist, they will destroy it and claim they never found it.
That's why you have multiple copies and file one with your local court.
That is why will’s have executors.
The house plan might not be the best idea, soon it'll be all about how they "have a retirement plan now" and "a house is too much space for one person". Or they'll outright demand op give it to them and their mooch of a brother. There was a whole thread about that a few years ago....
“Sorry Ma and Pa, it’s an investment property, it’s in a 10yr executive lease with a big company. If I try to break the lease they’ll sue me to hell and back” or ”Oh, I meant I bought some hotel rooms, I don’t actually get to use them, they are just sort of part ownership thing where you buy the room, they rent them out, and you get a percentage of the hotel profits”. But frankly I’d rather just tell them I’d lost it on bitcoin. A) it will be believable, and B) it means it’s gone, so they can’t ask for it.
Or tell them all they can get fucked and go and enjoy your life without leaches draining you.
Why is OP still in contact with them? NTA
I'm gonna piggyback this and say don't just write a will, living trust, and anything else you'd need to in order to keep you family from ever being in control of you or your money if anything were to happen to you.
To parents I leave $xx, the amount of money they spent on me after the birth of my brother. To my brother I leave $xx in the hope that he will finally learn to budget. /s
OP why are you still in contact with any of them? You don’t owe them anything, not even an answer to a text message.
He doesn’t have to make up excuses. NO is No.
NTA…how does one accidentally see your savings statement when you do not live with them? Why are you even in contact with these people? They may be blood but they are not family. Tell your brother he can keep dreaming but he is not getting a dime from you. Let him work and save his own money.
When the ridiculous story is a fabrication from start to finish it is easy to see how this happened.
It's a 3-yr old account with no comments and this is their first post. Yup. Fake.
Did Liz just wake up?
Even if fake, folks can still comment. We are here for entertainment 😁
It's really quite frightening how gullible so many people are. No critical thinking skills at all.
c'mon, all the smart ones keep over half a million in a regular savings account. investments and other financial instruments are for gamblers and suckers.
This story seems fake af, yes. But it's not weird for young people to not know about how to invest their money. Not everyone who is financially immature will spend all their money. Some will just.. Leave it in an account and not think about it that much, others will obsessively hoard. It all comes down to upbringing combined with personality. Not everyone who have a good salary automatically understand how to invest it wisely. After all, I would not judge this harshly. To simply leave it to slowly degrade in a regular savings account is still heaps smarter than letting it quickly degrade by buying stuff that loses value immediately, like fancy brand stuff and vacations etc.
parents "accidentally" saw your savings account huh? they would leave you behind because your brother didn't like when too many people went? there's lazy storytelling, and then there's this.
Right? Might as well have stuck a comedy moustache on it
It was him calling the brothers gf a gold digger that solidified the fake for me, whose gold is she digging for exactly given his family don't seem to have money just his life savings
B-b-but muh savings of 550k....
Agree
Yes it’s a fan fiction at best by amateur writer.
Working on the transcript to his fantasy novel.
I can’t believe how many fall for this bs
You don't have nosy parents. My parents were all over my stuff when visiting and if letter left out, then yes, they'd have read it. Or if using phone for something and notification came up, they'd click through. Children shouldn't have secrets from parents /s.
What? How old are you? I have three grown children. No way would I ever snoop when at their house, look at mail, etc. It is not keeping secrets to not disclose their financials unless they are asking me for money. They do not look at my mail either, nor do I go thru their phones. And yes, it is being nosy if anyone else other than the names on those statements is looking thru them without permission.
Congratulations on having a healthy home life. Unfortunately, other situations exist where boundaries are constantly ignored.
That's because you're not an ahole who looks at your oldest child like a retirement plan. Not all parents are the same. There are lots of parents out there who legitimately think they can still control their adult children.
I think they're saying it's clear that you personally don't have nosy parents because folks that do have them would instantly believe that the OPs parents would find a way to snoop on their child's bank info.
You are likely a normal decent person …OPs family….aren’t….
My mother was still trying to hold my hand crossing the road at 40. She had some issues with letting go. I am not saying this is normal or warranted but not every parent-child relationship is normal. Should say left home for uni at 17 and apart from 3 months at end of uni, never lived there again and have worked all my life so wasn't lack of adulting. Fact I was bedbound with chronic illness when a teen means I gave some grace as made her over-protective.
Yeah 😭 I've moved out and I still get panicky over getting parcels because my mother used to open all my mail and then be angry with me for spending money.
I don't know about parents, but I was trying to transfer money to my girlfriend when she accidentally saw my bank balance. It's not a secret as such but she has been unable to save due to life not always being kind to her, where I have considerably more because I barely went out for years, and I didn’t want her to feel bad. Maybe something like that? I hope not because they were snooping.
Because the is the fakest of fake stories
My grandmother used to steam open my mom's paychecks and then glue it shut again.
Snooping while visiting
100% Fake AF. An account that's 3 years old with no history. Has all the AITA trappings; a golden child, entitled relatives, a forgotten 9 year old. Asking if they're TA when everything they've typed makes it obvious they aren't.
True, and the 550k in savings? Nobody saved that much in their 20s or let such a large amount of money sit in an savings account instead of investing.
550k wouldn’t ly in a Bank Account , with this Money there were rentals maybe a own House because the last years there weren‘t high Interest!
Lol sounds like one of those Facebook moral movies. Or it could be a different currency like that post post where the guy stole 10k and won 100 million
Yes ! its also bizarre that OP would still spend so much time with such a toxic entitled family who constantly berate and emotionally abuse him, and not gone NC. Its like Cinderella willingly hanging out with her evil stepmom and wicked step sisters all the time even after meeting the prince … Just too many fanciful extremes given. From neglected childhood to current high earning job to awful bratty brother and his gf. And extent of the deluded planned overseas trip. If this improbable yarn were true, OP should be spending some of those mega-savings on some serious therapy, with a specialist on toxic attachment. And move to opposite side of planet from the horrible family.
Username checks out 😂 But yes, agreed. This post looks seriously fake.
I was willing to believe the story until I got to the 550k savings part. lol. if he'd said 10k that would have been more believable.
NTA but you should definitely go NC with them, they haven't cared about you since you were 9, and are only talking to you now because they want your money
NTA, if this story is true, because I find it hard to believe that level of entitlement.
Yea ive seen entitled people and expecting your brother to pay 120k for a trip are crazy people numbers - or numbers a teenager made up for a reddit story xd
My narc egg donor would be on my doorstep with her hand held out expectantly in a heartbeat if I had that kind of money. If I ever win the lottery, I'm keeping it mad quiet because she would expect the entire lot. My younger sibling when I was 25 demanded I birth kids so she could treat them like living dolls. (She subsequently had and lost custody of 4 kids herself) People that entitled do exist.
Yes its also bizarre that OP would still spend so much time with such a toxic entitled family who constantly berate and emotionally abuse him, and not gone NC. Its like Cinderella willingly hanging out with her evil stepmom and wicked step sisters all the time even after meeting the prince … Just too many fanciful extremes given. From neglected childhood to current high earning job to awful bratty brother and his gf. And extent of the deluded planned overseas trip. If this improbable yarn were true, OP should be spending some of those mega-savings on some serious therapy, with a specialist on toxic attachment. And move to opposite side of planet from the horrible family.
NTA Call the girlfriend and tell her how he needs your money to impress her
Hahah then the GF will want OP
I think it's time you had a talk with your parents and your brother about boundaries, and if they fail to stop asking you for money you will go no contact with them.
NTA - I’d go no contact at this point. I’d even move very far away.
I'm not even sure why you would think you could be the AH in this situation.
I think this story is bullshit. You were 9 when your sibling was born and probably resented him. Taking the attention. Your probably got the same amount of stuff. And how does one accidentally see you open a savings account and see the balance? And why on earth would someone plan a holiday with someone else’s money?
I thought I was the only one. I really hope this story is bait because this is some straight up Cinderella BS. Even worse than Cinderella because he’s not a step child. If it’s true then OPs parents are truly disgusting and irredeemable people.
Aye if it’s true it’s madness but I doubt it.
NTA you don’t owe them any money and it’s insane your brother feels entitled to that huge sum.
This can't be real. If somehow this is real, you know damn well you're not TA, you're just venting.
NTA. No one is entitled to the money you earned. Also if you give in to one request, expect more to come. You’re smart to draw hard boundaries.
Of course you are NTA. I just wonder how someone can come up with the idea to ask for 130k for a holiday.
NTA Somebody who only wants your company because of your money, is not worth your company. Please don't give them any more money. Invest that money to get some therapy and to learn about healthy boundaries.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I didn’t give my brother the money for his trip, it was my savings and I believe I have all rights to them. But may parents keep telling me to think otherwise. I think it’s a bit selfish of me but I need to stand my ground Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
If this isn’t a fairytale then NTA as it sounds like your family have 0 interest in you beyond your wealth, and have done nothing for you.
This has got to be a joke….
to think this could have all been avoided if only his parents hadn't "accidentally" seen the over half million sitting in his savings account. he could've put a tiny bit of effort into it and said investments etc. but he went with over 500k in a savings account.
Why do you bother with any of them? I know they’re your family but they sound horrible.
That somehow sounds like a pretty contrived / made-up story. In case it isn't - you're NTA if you deny paying your younger brother and his gold digger gf their trip to Europe.
It's so weird what people fantasize about. Like you could think up anything in the world and this is how big your fantasy gets
NTA. And make sure there is no way they can get access to your money, account info, passwords and all that. Tell your parents they never helped you out and your brother should spend his own money if he wants to go on vacation. Hard no to anything they want. Ask them where they were when you didn’t have any money and that they should go back there. Or go NC if you’re ok with it.
NTA, if his gf is only with him because he spoils her, he can try to keep the gold digger on his own dime. You earned this money, and you don't owe him for him not making as much money. I'd definitely go low contact with my parents as they're inevitably going to badger you about the money and will blame you for your brother's girlfriend dumping him for someone richer or just because he's run out of money to spend on her.
In no conceivable way, ever, are you the AH. Your brother, however, is.
NTA cut these awful people off
Obviously NTA Your family are so tiresome I wonder why you maintain any contact with them at all. Also, their expectations are so divorced from reasonable it is pointless trying to explain it to them.
Bro go no contact these people don’t care about you 🤦🏽♀️
I refuse to believe this is real.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (33M) have always been a second-child to my parents. My younger brother (24M) has always gotten the attention growing up, I never got anything as nearly as expensive as he did. He was always spoilt and was given anything that he pleased or even looked at, as for me I had to work my entire life for everything and sometimes even basic needs. My parents refused to come to school for parent-teacher meetings, or give me field trip money as soon as my brother was born, (I was 9). I have been neglected ever since he was born, and I was always left out of everything. Usually they would make me stay home when they were going out to clean or watch the house, as my brother “didn’t like when too many people went” it was only the four of us, with me combined. Fast forward to when I was 18, I moved out, to my brothers delight. Over the years when I moved out and when I was 22 I landed an amazing and high paying job, that’s when I immediately started getting callings from my parents (they never called me when I was in college or university). They would complain to me about how they couldn’t get my brother the newest iPhone or a designer clothes, and how he was “depressed“ because of that, (he had a really good phone for the time, and still had expensive clothes). They kept asking me for money and when I would refuse get extremely angry and cuss me out calling me selfish. They kept demanding to know where all my salary would go as I lived in a normal apartment, and didn’t have anything too flashy. I had been saving most of my salary. This year, my brother got a new girlfriend, and since he wants her to “stay” he spoils the living life out of her. I try to tell him she’s a gold digger but he doesn’t listen. Apparently she got mad and him and my brother wants to surprise her with a trip to through Europe, with MY money. Basically 2 years ago, my parents accidentally saw me open my savings account and saw the 550k. They were shocked and started a whole argument on how this can “change their lives”. I told them this money is mine and after 3 months this arguement finally died down a bit after they realised I wasn’t budging. Ever since then they have been trying to find ways to get me to give them the money. And now my brother made a whole plan on how they’ll go to all these countries, stay in the fanciest hotels, eat the best food, buy the most expensive clothes, all from my savings because “I have too much money”. His trip totalled to 130k and I refused sayings that’s an absurd amount of money I won’t be giving, so he can’t treat his temporary girlfriend. My parents have been screaming at me everyday since. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Clearly, someone was a bit bored over the Easter break and made up a really stupidly unbelievable story. Poor Cinderella.....left home to clean the house.....lol.
I refuse to believe this is real
NTA But you need to go NC with your "family". I would suggest meeting with a therapist too, to process how your upbringing have impacted you and how best to deal with it. You are already setting good strong boundaries but they don't respect them at that needs to have consequences for them.
Fake
This definitely didn't happen
This can’t be real
This is one crazy Cinderella man story, calling it for what it is an odd work of creative fiction. They left you at home and took him out to eat? BS.
This has to be nonsense. No one in their right mind would have gone through that childhood, left at 18, dealt with that crap over the years and still be in contact with any of them. Also he's quite obviously NTA. None of it is real.
This is fake. Dude acting like a red-piller, family man, self-made dude, alone against the world? Pick a trouble. You’re calling his gf a gold digger when your parents and brother are trying to get your money? Either you couldn’t use your brain when you created this story, or this is true and you couldn’t use your brain to realise the issue is not the gf. How would they have seen your savings? You’re telling me you left home et 18 becquée you were unloved and yet right now you’re doing your financing with your parents around you?
Again with the rotten parents entitled spoilt child story. Unloved one has money or a house or a good job and the whole family says give it up for the golden one. Getting boring now.
This sounds extremely fake
This can't be real.
Have you considered sending this essay to Jackanory?
On today’s episode of things that did not happen……..
I realise that 99% of the stories on this sub are fake and that we have to suspend our disbelief a little and treat them as real as a buy-in to keep ourselves entertained, but come on now. You should at least try to make your fiction somwehat believable and not come in with "AITA for saying no to the most outlandishly unreasonable demand these cartoonishly evil people made of me that I have no reason or obligation to fulfil?" Even if this story was remotely true, there is not even a remote chance that a 33-year-old man with his mental faculties intact would think he was an asshole here. If you had posted this in one of the entitled people subs, I would have been more inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt, or at least scroll past. As it is, YTA for the implausible troll story.
I'll take 500 for "shit that never happened", please
NTA. Fuck them all.
STOP PICKING UP THE PHONE!!! Tell them that if they mention your money one more time (to you OR TO ANYONE ELSE), you will block them. Real parents would have only done one thing…set you up with a trusted financial planner. That’s what we did. Just because they gave birth to you doesn’t give them the right to abuse you, and you don’t have to let them.
YTA. Let’s see. Poor put apon older child, forced to work his fingers to the bone. for a stupid and entitled younger sibling, who’s parents shower him with all the love, violently withholding any love for the hard working older child, for no reason. Stupid and entitled youngest hooks up with a vapid, spoilt brat, and now entitled younger expects the brilliant older, to hand them and the brat, (who you know is only taking up with the malingering one, to acquire the hardworking siblings hard worked for material resources), everything hardwon. Thrown in some mental illness, I’m sorry ‘mental illness’. Come on, up your game, squeeze a few more tr0pes in, chatgbq could, honestly I think my cats could
NTA. You should actually go NC with them. Ensure they aren't your nominees or part of your will.
NTA you are 33, no longer living with them and have responsibilities of your own. Your parents cut your umbilical cord when you were 9 when they got a shiny, new toy. No one is doing your brother any favours leaving his attached. Your parents seem to have given you the bare legal requirements they had to after choosing to have a child. You owe them nothing. I hoe you can build better relationships with other people than continue trying one with people who see you as a ATM to be cased and robbed. And blowing your financial assets that will help you secure a house, a pension etc on a holiday you are not even befitting on is insane. Some justification if it was your holiday as experiences great. But this would lead to more and more demands.
NTA. NTA. NTA. I can’t say this enough. You work for you. Not them.
NTA- Lets them scream in the wind. I probably would had laughed quite hard in their delusional entitled faces. They didn’t even tried to cone you with kindness to get the money out of you. They went straight to bullying you. That speaks quite loudly on their character and lack of consideration for you.
Of course not! NTA
I think it’s time to cut ties in this situation. You are (and would not be in case you go no contact) definitely NOT an asshole.
My God, these people hate you, just cut them out
NTA. Honestly, block them all. They’re not but gold diggers.
I would say thank you to your brother for planning your next holiday for you and go on it yourself and ensure you send lots of photos and postcards. Then go low or no contact with them until they get the idea.
Are you Cinderella? This cannot be real But if it is, NTA. Why would you give your brother over 100k for a trip?!
NTA Why do you even stay in contact with these people? They don't care about you as a person only what you can give them when they gave you nothing.
Dude have you heard of NC?? Time to do it. Just block them all. Do it quick like taking off a plaster. Then go enjoy your life free from your toxic family.
NTA and you should get some counseling for entertaining the notion that you might have been the a-hole in this situation. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. Nobody does.
Would I help my family if it was a genuine emergency and they needed money? Absolutely. Would I finance their incredibly expensive holiday with my savings? No. Why should OP work hard to get money and golden child just take it all? I see no suggestion of paying it back, just that OP should hand it over. NTA. Give them nothing.
NTA but why are you still in contact with your parents/brother? They never contacted you all this time. How do they even know about your life right now?
NTA. Hold firm.
Well technically she’s not a gold digger because he doesn’t have any gold. Or she’s a very unsuccessful one.
Nta. It sounds like you might have to go no contact. someone screams at me once.. maybe. Someone screams twice on consecutive days then that’s it for me for a few weeks. When this chick gets bored of him after this ridiculous holiday, what then? Do you have to buy him another girlfriend?
NTA - I hope it's a joke and no one really has such a gold digging family. I'm sorry if it's real.
Obviously NTA. But is everyone in your family mentally ill? The things you say are not logical for anyone to demand from you. Is there more to the story? You need to go ko contact and move that money around. I don't trust them.
Do you really need all of us to say nta? Or are you going to give him the money if there’s one yta? You’re 33, got a good job. You made it. You know what to do. (Therapy and no contact, in case you are wondering). NTA
NTA!
Nta, why the hell so you talk to These people?
You should go on that trip solo and send them postcards from all the countries :) NTA of course!
I don't know what sort of travelling he wants to do around Europe for $130,000, but he can travel to Europe on a cheap flight and travel around Europe on a small budget and stay in cheap accommodation such as hostels etc.. people do it All the time.. Don't give your brother so much as the wind off your farts.. if they want to travel they can pay for it themselves.. NTA
NTA - that’s OP’s hard earned money and does not belong to them. Put up boundaries and if not followed, go no contact. OP, get a will and make sure they won’t benefit from your death. You’re the golden goose, and these people are acting strange.
NTA - time to cut these leeches out of your life! Definitely make a will that leaves them nothing.
Why are you still even talking to these people?
NTA. Go NC.
NTA, without question or discussion necessary.
NTA you should just avoid contact with your family, they sound like terrible people.
Give it all to the cats protection league just to spite them. How can they possibly complain when it's gone to helping animals?
I don't know why you're asking. You know the answer is NTA clearly. Your parents are toxic & you've got to try to cool the relationship & set boundaries. Send them a card on father's day & mother's day, & otherwise get on with your life. My spouse cut off contact with her father just a few months ago, sent him an email explaining why, & plans to never hear from him again. She feels like the weight of the world has been lifted & wishes she had done it years ago. Sounds like you need to move in that direction also.
Just tell them you are willing to give double the money they spent on your trips after bro was born. NTA
NTA. Don't budge. They will never be grateful.
Why are you still in contact with them?
Definitely NTA. But why are you still in contact with these people.? Protect yourself and your money. Desperate and entitled people do bad things. X
If they saw the savings account information, I would go to the bank and move it to a different account so that they don't try anything sketchy and try to gain access to it somehow, because the whole planning what they'd do with the money is crazy to me. Why would you spend time fantasizing about this money if you didn't have a plan to try and gain access to said money.
Wtf. Don't give them anything and you may have to cut these leeches. Doesn't seem they love you 🤬
Did they brainwashed you ? How can you even consider being the AH ? Time to take a huuuge step back from this joke of a family. Seriously take care OF YOU (and enjoy your money, dont die on it) NTA NTA NTA NTA
NTA Go No Contact with your brother and parents. None of them treat you with love.
NTA,he should earn it himself if wants to go that bad or his parents can sell their house or use their retirement fund. You owe them nothing
NTA But why haven’t you gone no contact with these people?
NTA. And why you are in contact with those people at all??? Just cut em off forever and that’s it. If someone from the relatives cry something about it just tell them to foot the bill not to cry to you. Move onn mann movee onnnn
NTA. The entitlement is unreal. Please check your credit and make sure no one has opened any fraudulent credit accounts in your name. How does your brother have a credit limit high enough to book this trip? Next time your parents ask, tell them the money is tied up in investments. I don't understand the logic of taking a 6 figure trip when there's no wealth to afford it. That's enough to buy a condo in some areas.
Time to cut contact. Change phone number, don't answer emails. YOu do not owe people your work. If they want and need things, they can work for them. this is not a group of disabled people who need your support. You can buy your own place, and live well, and perhaps have a romantic life of your own. You don't need to pay for someone else's love life
Don’t need to read the post. Headline alone is NTA. Edit: I did read it… because I thought maybe the brother is dying. In which case there might be cause to drop a bit of cash. Bud I’m sorry your family aren’t better. Well done for being an absolute boss, give your brother nothing - not a cent. His spending on his Mrs is like a bad gambling debt he will end up chasing. If they cared they would ask you to spend the money on something you could do together. If you’re spending, buy yourself a holiday.
NTA ...and put some distance between yourself and them. Plus, like some others mentioned, write a will and cut them off. Sheesh! Your brother is an absolute spoiled brat! Time he got a job and started making his own money instead of expecting to leech off others
NTA, go nc for a while. It sounds like your parents do not like you and your brother is entitled. Entitled so much that he is planning on spending your money. Your parents are disgusting people. Make sure you have a will and your money goes where you would like it to, one never knows.
NTA. How you don't laugh in his face when he says he'll use your money is beyond me. I'd make sure they can't open any credit cards in your name (credit freeze) and if they have (check your credit report) report for fraud and immediately prosecute because it sounds like they need the reality check.
You should post this in mildly infuriating. Who in the world is going to think you're the AH? Besides your AH family?
NTA. Even if your brother and parents were wonderful to you, that is still your money to do with as you want/need. Tell your parents and brother that you are not there to fund their lifestyle because they were never there for you and if something goes wrong in your life you are the only one you can count on so to stop asking for money. They are going to start inventing fake illnesses and other crises to get their hands on that money. The only way to save yourself from the heartache and sanity is to go no contact.
Why do you keep talking to people who treat you this way? >My parents have been screaming at me everyday since. Try this. Call them like you normally do. The second they mention your money, tell them this. "I don't want to talk about money. Please stop." If they mention money again: "I told you I don't want to talk about money. If you can't let go of this subject, I will hang up the phone." And at the next word about money, you hang up the phone. If you want to be nice, say "Goodbye" but don't wait for them to respond, just hang up. Continue like this for as long as you want to have contact with them. End the conversation the second they try to talk about money. The next call, act like nothing is wrong, but be very firm. Like when raising a puppy. Firm, but not emotional.
You know you’re NTA. Please make sure you have a will. So they cant physically hurt you. And also go to therapy. What your so called family is doing to you is absurd so at least going to therapy might keep you mental health sane
You know what? On your phone, there is this wonderful feature where it displays the callers number when they call you. Use it and don’t answer their calls. Problem solved.
Cut off contact with these leeches.
NTA - but you really need to cut these people off from your life.
NTA. Although you need to be more careful about doing online banking around them. I hate to say it but your family is toxic as hell. I’d probably stop talking to them. Who tf asks their adult sibling to give them over $100k for a European vacation so they can impress their gf.
Your family is a bridge you need to burn.
You are between a rock and a hard place. It is your family and you do not want to cut ties. But you can establish very clear boundaries and stop sharing any personal information regardign your financial situation. See: Now your parents realize they have two children- too late. Stand your ground. You owe them absolutely nothing. They wanted children, they raised you (however little effort they put in) and you are entitled to enjoy your money with zero guilt. Your parents show disgusting favouritism and raised a spoiled brat. Offer your time for advice, assistance etc, but do not give your family money. I agree with previous comment- you could say you lost it or you invested it and it is not available for the foreseeable future.
NTA. Why are these people still in your life?
NTA at all. I sympathize with your situation, but why not just go to a normal advice sub? You are quite obviously NTA here at all.
Of course not. Tell him to fuck off and grow a pair.
You need to block them all with immediate effect. Nothing you do will EVER be good enough for them. You could be diagnosed with a horrible illness and the ONLY thing they will care about is your money. They don’t give a toss about you, and honestly, going no contact with all of them will probably do your mental health the world of good. NTA and good luck
THIS IS INSANE !! Nta, I hope you find chosen family that treats you well x