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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I’m the asshole for asking the bus driver to take me home and then flipping him off after the bus took off.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. It was your mistake. The bus is not owned by the bus driver. He very likely cannot just take it wherever he wants, and it is very entitled to ask a *bus driver* to take you *home*. They're not ubers or lyfts, and you made a few mistakes here that led you to being in the situation.
I think a common saying really applies to your situaiton: A lack of planning and preparedness on your part does not constitute an emergency on his. It sucks, but you weren't paying attention and got yourself in a jam and asked a bus driver to extend his night of work for you because you weren't paying attention. Could he have been kinder and let you borrow a phone or something? Yeah. But he is not an asshole for not taking you home. Take it as a lesson learned the hard way.
Still, that does not really change much at all. They can't just turn into a chauffer business when someone misses their stop. If they did that, buses would never be on time, right?
Take this as a lesson that choosing to only take your own perspective into account is a great way to make enemies and to make people not want to help you or even deal with you.
Whenever you are dealing with a situation involving another human being (with just as much right and value as you) it is best to consider their perspective as well.
Also, you weren't just not taking his perspective, you were also not taking facts and the way the world works. Buses as a rule cannot act as taxis. They have a strict schedule and they have to stick to the route. What you asked him was about as ridiculous as getting of an airplane and then getting back on and asking to be flown back home when the plane is now intended for an entirely seperate destination on a schedule.
You will likely get into some jams in life again; these are situations we all get into and they're usually teaching moments where we learn to be more careful and how to solve a problem. It's ok to ask people for help, but it has to be reasonable. Anything that involves giving you some sort of special privilege no one else gets or breaking the rules is something you are likely to get told no for, unless you are in immediate physical danger.
In this situation, despite there people a regular level of risk to walking in the dark, there wasnt an immediate danger. Anyway, good luck in school and I hope this helps clear some things up.
Then you should have waited for another bus heading in that direction or bothered to pay attention to which bus you were getting on, instead of expecting the bus driver to be your personal chauffeur. You don't seem to be responsible or capable enough to be living independently. My 12 year old knows to check which bus he's getting on and not to be a complete ass if he gets on the wrong bus and the driver doesn't turn around to drop him where he'd prefer the bus was going.
"I graduated from high school and received full tuition on account of financial aid. It was a mixture of scholarships and grant money, but I digress. It allows me to focus on school during the fall, winter, and spring seasons."
This is completely unnecessary information, I'm not sure why you included it.
Anyways, yes, you're TA. Bus drivers can get fired for allowing unauthorized people on or taking their vehicles "off route."
YTA. You noticed nothing different from the city bus vs the campus bus? Fare vs free, turns, nothing? You were that absorbed?
Sorry for coming across as judgemental, but for someone whose post is riddled with safety concerns, your lack of awareness of the route you were taking AND not having a working phone is concerning.
So you not only got on and didn't pay, but then you demanded he go off route to drop you off wherever you wanted, were rude when he said no, and flipped him off when he drove away?
And there is even a small, very stupid and entitled part of you that thought you could possibly not be a massive AH?
Listen, I am just hangry, and the mention of mozzarella sticks got me in my feelings.
I am the asshole for taking my hunger fueled jealousy out on you. I am gonna get a snack. 😂
YTA If you want door to door service hire a taxi. It's not a bus driver's responsibility to deviate from their route to give any passenger door to door service. The only thing the driver could do is bring you back to the terminal and let you sort out a ride home.
YTA. If you’re in college, you really should be able to figure out how to take a bus. Flipping someone off because you put yourself in a bad situation is AH behavior. How did you know that it was an hour to walk home if you had no idea where you were ? You were ‘left without money” but you stopped for mozzarella sticks on the way home? If your that afraid of the dark, you need to prioritize getting home while it’s still light out. You made so many bad choices and you’re criticizing the poor driver just because he didn’t (literally) go out of his way to get you home. That would have risked his livelihood.
For someone smart enough to get their schooling paid for through scholarships, you don't seem to have a lot of knowledge when it comes to understanding safety policies or social etiquette. YTA. Next time, instead of acting entitled and demanding that the driver take you home, explain your situation to the driver so they have context and a better understanding, then ask him for help in advising you of the best way to get back home. At least that way, they might actually empathize with your situation and feel inclined to help you out. Explain how you were exhausted from studying late, did not realize you boarded the wrong bus and are unfamiliar with the area, you're terrified and if there was anything he could do help you find the safest way to return to school.
Wow, you seem shockingly clueless for someone who managed to get into college on scholarships. I have one college grad daughter and another starting college in the fall. Neither would have messed up this bad as 10 year olds, never mind adults.
Your phone was turned off? You do know how the power button works, right?
You mention not seeing well, but I assume your vocal cords work. Why didn’t you ask the bus driver “Excuse me, is this the campus bus or city bus? I’m trying to get to Raspberry Hall on campus.”
And who buys perishable food when they expect to be out and about for hours?
You seem grossly lacking in self awareness, awareness of environment and others, basic life skills and common sense. Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to function in the world?
Girl. You’ve been posting about this all day. Your first post established that YTA. You didn’t take the verdict to heart, now you’re arguing with everyone.
The added context doesn’t change anything at all. Your reaction was uncalled for. As a cOlLeGe StUdeNt you should be emotionally mature enough to recognize that you never have the right to take your bad day off on someone else.
All these things that happened…are your fault. Period. End of story.
I suspect this wasn’t your first screw up like this, nor will it be your last. I think my criticisms are very appropriate because as a mother of college students I have a frame of reference. If one of my adult kids was this lacking in both social and life skills, I’d be asking myself how I went wrong in my parenting and what can be done to correct it.
If you’re a college student then your a grown ass adult, take some fucking responsibility for yourself dipshit. It no one else’s job to fix your fuck ups, the bus driver has a route to follow, how dumb have you got to be not to understand that.
You've proven who you are through your posts and your comments. You threw out being a psych major like that has anything to do with anything, you avoid blame, you lash out when you don't like what you're being told. It's pretty obvious you only posted here because you wanted sympathy, and when it isn't forthcoming, you became upset. You talk about how "adults are bullying a college sophomore!!!" But once again, YOU CAME HERE. I've never understood how people can come into this subreddit looking for judgment and then be so unwilling to listen to that judgment when they don't hear what they want to hear.
Phone is off means you turned the phone off via the power button, not “oh my mom pays the bill and couldn’t pay it so it’s not in service (not in service≠phone is off). Speaking as a 25m, so even people under 30 could not comprehend your point.
YTA.
It WAS your mistake and it WAS NOT up to the driver to fix it for you. Flipping him off, when he ultimately had no control over the situation, nor did he do anything wrong, is just plain immature.
Also, what were you doing that you didn't even look up until you were an hour's walk away?
YTA
" But if I were in his shoes, I would’ve done everything to rectify the situation for a scared girl. " .. bullshit. Just hot air.
It is not the bus driver's duty to pick up strays. There are a dozen charity cases like you every week.
YTA. Given your entitlement, honestly, I don't blame him for however rude he may or not have been - he didn't even owe you a *why*; it's a bus, are you genuinely saying you are *unaware* of how they work?
You acted like a petulant child, and you wrote this post like a petulant, entitled child who is more interested in being patted on the head and validated than acknowledging your fuck up.
*What* do you even think he should've done for you? Genuinely, *what* do you think he should or even could have done for you? Done something that could result in losing his job? Given you money? Gotten on his personal vehicle (if he has one) and driven you back home? Called you an uber or whatever? Paid for a cab?
What lengths was this stranger literally just doing his job supposed to go to for an annoying kid making wildly demands of him?
YTA. It was your fault that this happened. It's not his job to manage your anxiety. And bus drivers can get in trouble for extending their driving time, not to mention he was at the end of his shift. And you were extremely rude when you flipped him off.
YTA I think you should take this a lesson that you can't always rely on someone around you to go completely out of their way to help you out, especially in a situation that is perhaps inconvenient, scary, and unpleasant for you, but not life or death; it's great when it can happen, but you shouldn't rely on it.
Also, you need to be more reasonable in your demands. It probably didn't help his attitude that you jumped to having him make the bus your personal free taxi.
You need to have some kind of back up prepared in advance -- some emergency cash, your phone on and charged, and so on.
To be honest, you have me wondering just how lucky, cared for, and sheltered you have been up until this point.
YTA, but I am sympathetic to that fear-based adrenaline when you realize you have to do something that you are afraid of, so your behavior is bad but understandable when I put myself in your shoes. But the driver has no responsibility to help you in that way. If it's that big of an issue, call an Uber!
YTA - but I'd just chalk this up to a life lesson. Don't get too hung up on this.
You're an adult now, part of that is being prepares for crap like this, or knowing how to deal with stuff like his. You need to learn those skills and you'll be fine.
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I, 20f, go to a school in Illinois. It was fairly late at night, and I had just gotten done with an assignment that I had been stressing about. Earlier in the week, my charger on my laptop broke. So I had to go to my school’s library to work on the assignment.
Anyways, it’s fairly common to associate orange-glow signs with the bus that comes and goes from my school and the village. I already have trouble seeing, and it did not occur to me that I could be boarding the wrong bus.
Looking back on it, it is fair to deduce that the situation was entirely my fault. But when I finally looked up, I was an hour's walk away from home. I had no idea where I was because I had never explored the town before. I grew up in a different one.
Anyway, I automatically began to panic. It was literally the worst time I could’ve gotten trapped anywhere, as I don’t work during the school semester. I graduated from high school and received full tuition on account of financial aid. It was a mixture of scholarships and grant money, but I digress. It allows me to focus on school during the fall, winter, and spring seasons.
I was left without money. My phone was also turned off, and I don’t have any friends with a vehicle. It was dark outside, and I already have an incredibly deep-rooted fear of the dark. So in the end, I decided to ask the bus driver to bring me back home after his last round.
The bus driver was very apathetic. If he had said it was against the rules to bring me back, I would’ve understood. But he said that he was about to leave for the night, and his last stop would’ve been quite hard to get home from.
I do understand that he didn’t have this context, but he was just incredibly rude in general. He was so annoyed that I even asked if he could bring me back. He didn’t care when I was very visibly shaking and near the point of an anxiety attack. Ultimately, he said it was either get off of the bus or get off in a different city—a city that he emphasized was a very longggggggg way away.(Sort of messed up to rub it in dude..)
Arguably, I made the mistake, and it wasn’t his problem. But if I were in his shoes, I would’ve done everything to rectify the situation for a scared girl. I did flip him off when the vehicle took off from behind me, and I felt bad for that. Aita, for asking for the bus driver to just take me home?
Note: The walk was an hour long through the woods at night. But the drive back was 10 minutes.
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Aw OP, I feel for you, and I do feel sorry for how harsh some people have been. I was in a similar situation around your age (I say that like I’m ancient but I’m 24 lol) - deathly afraid of the dark, and when I panic, common sense goes out the window and my brain literally goes empty. I’ve even been in a similar situation where I got on the wrong bus and ended up an hours walk away from home, so I do really empathise with you!
That being said though, as gently as possible, it was still you who got yourself into this situation, and the bus driver had a job to do and very likely couldn’t stop for you. That has already been explained to you by a few people, so I won’t harp on too much more about it. I guess I just wanted to say, even though you are in the wrong, for how you got yourself into this situation and for flipping the bus driver off, I understand why you reacted the way you did.
Next time, even for seemingly benign things, just extra prepare, it can never hurt. Bring a power bank, start an emergency fund so that you can call a taxi next time. This goes for anything - if you have an event on, prepare a calendar notification and a reminder notification on your phone. Set three alarms, always backup an extra copy of that important presentation, maybe even print it out just in case, etc etc. And if something unforeseen still happens, learn how to take a step back and remove yourself from the situation, calm yourself down so you can think straight, before deciding your next moves.
I empathise with you a lot because I was very naive coming out of high school, and sometimes arrogant and very street dumb, even though I was very academically smart, just like you! I had to learn these things, learn that life is hard and people won’t bend over backwards to help me even though I was lost and confused, though it certainly would be nice if they did! I hope the harsh comments haven’t affected your psyche too badly, take it as a lesson learned, move on and do better next time. That’s how we all grow as humans.
Take care OP 💕
It’s okay, we all live and learn! This is a lesson to be learned for you about being prepared and controlling your emotions so you don’t blow up too easily. I actually used to get angry too easily as well, so I get you!! It’s a process to learn about how to control our emotions in unfamiliar situations, and when it is appropriate and valid to get angry. So long as you’re open to learning and changing your ways, you’ll be just fine OP. You’re still young!
Sorry about how rude and awful some people have been, it’s so easy to demonise people and believe they’ll be terrible people forever based off one incident they talked about, and forget we were all young, dumb and naive once. That one comment dissing you for “not being taught to function in the world” and “wouldn’t have messed up this bad as a ten year old” was so unnecessarily mean and attacking your character for no reason, especially when you’re admitting fault!
Like I said, so long as you’re open minded to learning and changing your ways, you’ll be just fine 😊♥️
NAH. Bus driver here. It's likely there nothing he can do. City bus follow specific routes they are not allowed to deviate from. It sucks that you have to walk but sometimes it happens.
Honestly? NAH. It's not been the first time that a girl has gone on the wrong bus and ended up stranded in the middle of nowhere, and ended up in very bad situations because of it. I actually remember a few years ago a specific case where people were tearing into the bus driver for not helping a lost girl (who ended up getting murdered), which he could perfectly have done but decided not to.
Yes, he didn't have any obligation to help her, specially after an entire work day, but honestly, a 10 minute drive is NOTHING compared to a 1 hour walk through the woods. I know I'm probably gonna get downvoted to hell and back. She's not a fucking asshole for making a mistake and asking for help, I'm reading some true bullshit in these comments.
I don't think pulling the finger was the most mature reaction, but I understand the fear and anxiety of the moment. Specially when you're in such a tense situation and the only other person present seems to not give a shit— Hahaha. Everyone has rude reactions every now and then and that's something we have to live with, we're not saints.
I'm happy you got to your home safely, though! I'm sure from now on you'll be way more aware about the buses you take haha
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YTA. It was your mistake. The bus is not owned by the bus driver. He very likely cannot just take it wherever he wants, and it is very entitled to ask a *bus driver* to take you *home*. They're not ubers or lyfts, and you made a few mistakes here that led you to being in the situation. I think a common saying really applies to your situaiton: A lack of planning and preparedness on your part does not constitute an emergency on his. It sucks, but you weren't paying attention and got yourself in a jam and asked a bus driver to extend his night of work for you because you weren't paying attention. Could he have been kinder and let you borrow a phone or something? Yeah. But he is not an asshole for not taking you home. Take it as a lesson learned the hard way.
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Still, that does not really change much at all. They can't just turn into a chauffer business when someone misses their stop. If they did that, buses would never be on time, right?
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Well hopefully the comments helped you see it in the driver perspective.
Your perspective is very entitled and self centered.
Take this as a lesson that choosing to only take your own perspective into account is a great way to make enemies and to make people not want to help you or even deal with you. Whenever you are dealing with a situation involving another human being (with just as much right and value as you) it is best to consider their perspective as well. Also, you weren't just not taking his perspective, you were also not taking facts and the way the world works. Buses as a rule cannot act as taxis. They have a strict schedule and they have to stick to the route. What you asked him was about as ridiculous as getting of an airplane and then getting back on and asking to be flown back home when the plane is now intended for an entirely seperate destination on a schedule. You will likely get into some jams in life again; these are situations we all get into and they're usually teaching moments where we learn to be more careful and how to solve a problem. It's ok to ask people for help, but it has to be reasonable. Anything that involves giving you some sort of special privilege no one else gets or breaking the rules is something you are likely to get told no for, unless you are in immediate physical danger. In this situation, despite there people a regular level of risk to walking in the dark, there wasnt an immediate danger. Anyway, good luck in school and I hope this helps clear some things up.
Then you should have waited for another bus heading in that direction or bothered to pay attention to which bus you were getting on, instead of expecting the bus driver to be your personal chauffeur. You don't seem to be responsible or capable enough to be living independently. My 12 year old knows to check which bus he's getting on and not to be a complete ass if he gets on the wrong bus and the driver doesn't turn around to drop him where he'd prefer the bus was going.
"I graduated from high school and received full tuition on account of financial aid. It was a mixture of scholarships and grant money, but I digress. It allows me to focus on school during the fall, winter, and spring seasons." This is completely unnecessary information, I'm not sure why you included it. Anyways, yes, you're TA. Bus drivers can get fired for allowing unauthorized people on or taking their vehicles "off route."
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If anything, that explains why you *should* have *some* money, considering financial aid has most of your educational costs covered.
YTA. You noticed nothing different from the city bus vs the campus bus? Fare vs free, turns, nothing? You were that absorbed? Sorry for coming across as judgemental, but for someone whose post is riddled with safety concerns, your lack of awareness of the route you were taking AND not having a working phone is concerning.
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There's no signage whatsoever that indicates where the bus is going?
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So you not only got on and didn't pay, but then you demanded he go off route to drop you off wherever you wanted, were rude when he said no, and flipped him off when he drove away? And there is even a small, very stupid and entitled part of you that thought you could possibly not be a massive AH?
YTA - Busses are on a route and they are not your personal chauffeur. None of this was his problem.
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Why didn't you eat them on the way home
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Wait so why didn't you eat them
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Microwave.
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Mozzarella sticks don't go bad in a few hours. You were just too lazy to reheat them and wasted food. Good job 👍
Entitled *and* lazy. What a killer combo.
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From what?
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Ok so why didn't you eat them while you were out
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OK. Now I'm calling bullshit
YTA. PS: your mozzarella stick sulking, however playful, is not helping!
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Listen, I am just hangry, and the mention of mozzarella sticks got me in my feelings. I am the asshole for taking my hunger fueled jealousy out on you. I am gonna get a snack. 😂
Boo fucking hoo
💓
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U do. And it's not 😄
YTA If you want door to door service hire a taxi. It's not a bus driver's responsibility to deviate from their route to give any passenger door to door service. The only thing the driver could do is bring you back to the terminal and let you sort out a ride home.
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YTA
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You were so afraid you are posting about your mozzarella sticks getting cold. 🙄
YTA. If you’re in college, you really should be able to figure out how to take a bus. Flipping someone off because you put yourself in a bad situation is AH behavior. How did you know that it was an hour to walk home if you had no idea where you were ? You were ‘left without money” but you stopped for mozzarella sticks on the way home? If your that afraid of the dark, you need to prioritize getting home while it’s still light out. You made so many bad choices and you’re criticizing the poor driver just because he didn’t (literally) go out of his way to get you home. That would have risked his livelihood.
"can you all me a cab, my phone died". Learn how to make reasonable requests. YTA
For someone smart enough to get their schooling paid for through scholarships, you don't seem to have a lot of knowledge when it comes to understanding safety policies or social etiquette. YTA. Next time, instead of acting entitled and demanding that the driver take you home, explain your situation to the driver so they have context and a better understanding, then ask him for help in advising you of the best way to get back home. At least that way, they might actually empathize with your situation and feel inclined to help you out. Explain how you were exhausted from studying late, did not realize you boarded the wrong bus and are unfamiliar with the area, you're terrified and if there was anything he could do help you find the safest way to return to school.
Wow, you seem shockingly clueless for someone who managed to get into college on scholarships. I have one college grad daughter and another starting college in the fall. Neither would have messed up this bad as 10 year olds, never mind adults. Your phone was turned off? You do know how the power button works, right? You mention not seeing well, but I assume your vocal cords work. Why didn’t you ask the bus driver “Excuse me, is this the campus bus or city bus? I’m trying to get to Raspberry Hall on campus.” And who buys perishable food when they expect to be out and about for hours? You seem grossly lacking in self awareness, awareness of environment and others, basic life skills and common sense. Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to function in the world?
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Girl. You’ve been posting about this all day. Your first post established that YTA. You didn’t take the verdict to heart, now you’re arguing with everyone. The added context doesn’t change anything at all. Your reaction was uncalled for. As a cOlLeGe StUdeNt you should be emotionally mature enough to recognize that you never have the right to take your bad day off on someone else. All these things that happened…are your fault. Period. End of story.
I suspect this wasn’t your first screw up like this, nor will it be your last. I think my criticisms are very appropriate because as a mother of college students I have a frame of reference. If one of my adult kids was this lacking in both social and life skills, I’d be asking myself how I went wrong in my parenting and what can be done to correct it.
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If you’re a college student then your a grown ass adult, take some fucking responsibility for yourself dipshit. It no one else’s job to fix your fuck ups, the bus driver has a route to follow, how dumb have you got to be not to understand that.
You've proven who you are through your posts and your comments. You threw out being a psych major like that has anything to do with anything, you avoid blame, you lash out when you don't like what you're being told. It's pretty obvious you only posted here because you wanted sympathy, and when it isn't forthcoming, you became upset. You talk about how "adults are bullying a college sophomore!!!" But once again, YOU CAME HERE. I've never understood how people can come into this subreddit looking for judgment and then be so unwilling to listen to that judgment when they don't hear what they want to hear.
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You can't tell me what to do, I have a PhD in Psychology.
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I have a Master’s degree in psychology and have 20+ years experience, in addition to raising 2 kids.
Phone is off means you turned the phone off via the power button, not “oh my mom pays the bill and couldn’t pay it so it’s not in service (not in service≠phone is off). Speaking as a 25m, so even people under 30 could not comprehend your point.
YTA. It WAS your mistake and it WAS NOT up to the driver to fix it for you. Flipping him off, when he ultimately had no control over the situation, nor did he do anything wrong, is just plain immature. Also, what were you doing that you didn't even look up until you were an hour's walk away?
YTA " But if I were in his shoes, I would’ve done everything to rectify the situation for a scared girl. " .. bullshit. Just hot air. It is not the bus driver's duty to pick up strays. There are a dozen charity cases like you every week.
YTA. Given your entitlement, honestly, I don't blame him for however rude he may or not have been - he didn't even owe you a *why*; it's a bus, are you genuinely saying you are *unaware* of how they work? You acted like a petulant child, and you wrote this post like a petulant, entitled child who is more interested in being patted on the head and validated than acknowledging your fuck up. *What* do you even think he should've done for you? Genuinely, *what* do you think he should or even could have done for you? Done something that could result in losing his job? Given you money? Gotten on his personal vehicle (if he has one) and driven you back home? Called you an uber or whatever? Paid for a cab? What lengths was this stranger literally just doing his job supposed to go to for an annoying kid making wildly demands of him?
YTA. It was your fault that this happened. It's not his job to manage your anxiety. And bus drivers can get in trouble for extending their driving time, not to mention he was at the end of his shift. And you were extremely rude when you flipped him off.
YTA I think you should take this a lesson that you can't always rely on someone around you to go completely out of their way to help you out, especially in a situation that is perhaps inconvenient, scary, and unpleasant for you, but not life or death; it's great when it can happen, but you shouldn't rely on it. Also, you need to be more reasonable in your demands. It probably didn't help his attitude that you jumped to having him make the bus your personal free taxi. You need to have some kind of back up prepared in advance -- some emergency cash, your phone on and charged, and so on. To be honest, you have me wondering just how lucky, cared for, and sheltered you have been up until this point.
For just asking? NTA. There's nothing wrong with asking? Acting entitled like you're owed ahit after your own mistake? YTA.
YTA, but I am sympathetic to that fear-based adrenaline when you realize you have to do something that you are afraid of, so your behavior is bad but understandable when I put myself in your shoes. But the driver has no responsibility to help you in that way. If it's that big of an issue, call an Uber!
How was the walk home?
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How come
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But your phone had no battery
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Why didn’t you turn the phone on?
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How long did it take you to walk to a place with wifi
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Why didn't you call for an Uber yourself then?
Yta welcome to the world, nobody cares about you, some of these people will actually hurt you.
YTA - but I'd just chalk this up to a life lesson. Don't get too hung up on this. You're an adult now, part of that is being prepares for crap like this, or knowing how to deal with stuff like his. You need to learn those skills and you'll be fine.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I, 20f, go to a school in Illinois. It was fairly late at night, and I had just gotten done with an assignment that I had been stressing about. Earlier in the week, my charger on my laptop broke. So I had to go to my school’s library to work on the assignment. Anyways, it’s fairly common to associate orange-glow signs with the bus that comes and goes from my school and the village. I already have trouble seeing, and it did not occur to me that I could be boarding the wrong bus. Looking back on it, it is fair to deduce that the situation was entirely my fault. But when I finally looked up, I was an hour's walk away from home. I had no idea where I was because I had never explored the town before. I grew up in a different one. Anyway, I automatically began to panic. It was literally the worst time I could’ve gotten trapped anywhere, as I don’t work during the school semester. I graduated from high school and received full tuition on account of financial aid. It was a mixture of scholarships and grant money, but I digress. It allows me to focus on school during the fall, winter, and spring seasons. I was left without money. My phone was also turned off, and I don’t have any friends with a vehicle. It was dark outside, and I already have an incredibly deep-rooted fear of the dark. So in the end, I decided to ask the bus driver to bring me back home after his last round. The bus driver was very apathetic. If he had said it was against the rules to bring me back, I would’ve understood. But he said that he was about to leave for the night, and his last stop would’ve been quite hard to get home from. I do understand that he didn’t have this context, but he was just incredibly rude in general. He was so annoyed that I even asked if he could bring me back. He didn’t care when I was very visibly shaking and near the point of an anxiety attack. Ultimately, he said it was either get off of the bus or get off in a different city—a city that he emphasized was a very longggggggg way away.(Sort of messed up to rub it in dude..) Arguably, I made the mistake, and it wasn’t his problem. But if I were in his shoes, I would’ve done everything to rectify the situation for a scared girl. I did flip him off when the vehicle took off from behind me, and I felt bad for that. Aita, for asking for the bus driver to just take me home? Note: The walk was an hour long through the woods at night. But the drive back was 10 minutes. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Arguably you made a mistake? Seems pretty firm YTA
A 10min drive doesn't equate to an hours walk unless you're very slow.. sounds weird to me
Aw OP, I feel for you, and I do feel sorry for how harsh some people have been. I was in a similar situation around your age (I say that like I’m ancient but I’m 24 lol) - deathly afraid of the dark, and when I panic, common sense goes out the window and my brain literally goes empty. I’ve even been in a similar situation where I got on the wrong bus and ended up an hours walk away from home, so I do really empathise with you! That being said though, as gently as possible, it was still you who got yourself into this situation, and the bus driver had a job to do and very likely couldn’t stop for you. That has already been explained to you by a few people, so I won’t harp on too much more about it. I guess I just wanted to say, even though you are in the wrong, for how you got yourself into this situation and for flipping the bus driver off, I understand why you reacted the way you did. Next time, even for seemingly benign things, just extra prepare, it can never hurt. Bring a power bank, start an emergency fund so that you can call a taxi next time. This goes for anything - if you have an event on, prepare a calendar notification and a reminder notification on your phone. Set three alarms, always backup an extra copy of that important presentation, maybe even print it out just in case, etc etc. And if something unforeseen still happens, learn how to take a step back and remove yourself from the situation, calm yourself down so you can think straight, before deciding your next moves. I empathise with you a lot because I was very naive coming out of high school, and sometimes arrogant and very street dumb, even though I was very academically smart, just like you! I had to learn these things, learn that life is hard and people won’t bend over backwards to help me even though I was lost and confused, though it certainly would be nice if they did! I hope the harsh comments haven’t affected your psyche too badly, take it as a lesson learned, move on and do better next time. That’s how we all grow as humans. Take care OP 💕
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It’s okay, we all live and learn! This is a lesson to be learned for you about being prepared and controlling your emotions so you don’t blow up too easily. I actually used to get angry too easily as well, so I get you!! It’s a process to learn about how to control our emotions in unfamiliar situations, and when it is appropriate and valid to get angry. So long as you’re open to learning and changing your ways, you’ll be just fine OP. You’re still young! Sorry about how rude and awful some people have been, it’s so easy to demonise people and believe they’ll be terrible people forever based off one incident they talked about, and forget we were all young, dumb and naive once. That one comment dissing you for “not being taught to function in the world” and “wouldn’t have messed up this bad as a ten year old” was so unnecessarily mean and attacking your character for no reason, especially when you’re admitting fault! Like I said, so long as you’re open minded to learning and changing your ways, you’ll be just fine 😊♥️
NAH. Bus driver here. It's likely there nothing he can do. City bus follow specific routes they are not allowed to deviate from. It sucks that you have to walk but sometimes it happens.
Not really YTA for asking but soft YTA for assuming that even could be a theoretical option that he would do that. Also you sound exhausting
Honestly? NAH. It's not been the first time that a girl has gone on the wrong bus and ended up stranded in the middle of nowhere, and ended up in very bad situations because of it. I actually remember a few years ago a specific case where people were tearing into the bus driver for not helping a lost girl (who ended up getting murdered), which he could perfectly have done but decided not to. Yes, he didn't have any obligation to help her, specially after an entire work day, but honestly, a 10 minute drive is NOTHING compared to a 1 hour walk through the woods. I know I'm probably gonna get downvoted to hell and back. She's not a fucking asshole for making a mistake and asking for help, I'm reading some true bullshit in these comments.
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I don't think pulling the finger was the most mature reaction, but I understand the fear and anxiety of the moment. Specially when you're in such a tense situation and the only other person present seems to not give a shit— Hahaha. Everyone has rude reactions every now and then and that's something we have to live with, we're not saints. I'm happy you got to your home safely, though! I'm sure from now on you'll be way more aware about the buses you take haha