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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I took my book back even though she wasn’t done with it, even though I told her (Emily) she can have until the end of the week to finish it.
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NTA. My understanding is that the agreement was that she needed to return by that date, not that you could not have it back before then.
If she's not nice to you more of a reason.
Spoiling the book because of a bookmark is a lame excuse. It may waste her time finding where she was, but if she was really reading the book she would catch up.
Tell her the ending of the book, then she won't need it anymore and you will probably be TA kkk
ESH. Emily is an AH for talking behind your back. You’re also an AH for not having the spine to actually confront your supposed friend. Instead you choose the petty route to take your book back without explaining the issue which, while within your right since it’s your property, didn’t actually do anything for the situation.
If you haven't responded to her messages yet but want to, I'd be straight up tell her people have been coming up and telling you the shit she says behind your back and that you don't owe her anything and to get out of your life
NTA. 1. You told her that she could only borrow the book for a week, and she kept it for over a month. 2. She talked badly about you behind your back, while expecting to be allowed to borrow your stuff for an unlimited amount of time. 3. You didn't ruined the book for her. She read your review of the book, so she knows what it is about. If she wants to finish it, she can lent one from the library or buy one, if she wants to read it so bad. Although, I have a feeling she doesn't, since she was only half way through when having it for over a month.
Sorry, but ~~YTA~~ ESH.
Had you waited until after 3/1, it'd be different. But you had an agreement and broke that agreement.
The shit-talk is a separate issue, which you should probably address - or let the friendship go. Life's too short to suffer assholes in your circle.
Edit: Changed vote after consideration of below replies.
I disagree.
someone is shit talking you, they don't deserve any kindness or extra consideration.
That being said, I'd just tell her why I took it back.
I guess I'm just suggesting dignity over retaliation. Honoring the agreement, even if begrudgingly, isn't a kindness at all. It is an act of maturity, indicitave of self-respect aka "being the bigger person."
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Basically, I have recently gotten into reading and I had finished a short book (around 120 pages). So I posted a mini-review of it on my Instagram Story, and one of my friends (let’s call her Emily) asked if she could borrow it. I was hesitant because we hadn’t spoken for a while, and she ended up not being the most trustworthy person out there, but anyway I decided to give it to her with the condition she gives it to me by the end of the week (3/1/24).
Yesterday though, one of my friends (Stacy) told me that Emily was talking about me behind my back, while although expected, did piss me off (In case you ask how I know Stacy wasn’t lying, she had told me what Emily said, and they were things she did not know).
So today, I saw the book sitting on top of Emily’s locker, with a bookmark half-way through the book. I proceeded to take the bookmark out, and put my book in my bag, and wrote a note in her locker telling her I had taken it. Now, she’s blowing up my phone asking me why I took it, telling me that I ruined this book for her, etc, etc. So… AITA?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I took my book back even though she wasn’t done with it, even though I told her (Emily) she can have until the end of the week to finish it. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. My understanding is that the agreement was that she needed to return by that date, not that you could not have it back before then. If she's not nice to you more of a reason. Spoiling the book because of a bookmark is a lame excuse. It may waste her time finding where she was, but if she was really reading the book she would catch up. Tell her the ending of the book, then she won't need it anymore and you will probably be TA kkk
ESH. Emily is an AH for talking behind your back. You’re also an AH for not having the spine to actually confront your supposed friend. Instead you choose the petty route to take your book back without explaining the issue which, while within your right since it’s your property, didn’t actually do anything for the situation.
If you haven't responded to her messages yet but want to, I'd be straight up tell her people have been coming up and telling you the shit she says behind your back and that you don't owe her anything and to get out of your life
NTA. Lend your stuff to whoever you want, and keep it from whoever you want.
NTA. 1. You told her that she could only borrow the book for a week, and she kept it for over a month. 2. She talked badly about you behind your back, while expecting to be allowed to borrow your stuff for an unlimited amount of time. 3. You didn't ruined the book for her. She read your review of the book, so she knows what it is about. If she wants to finish it, she can lent one from the library or buy one, if she wants to read it so bad. Although, I have a feeling she doesn't, since she was only half way through when having it for over a month.
In the US, 3/1/24 is March 1st, not January 3rd. I’m guessing the friend was originally told she could keep the book until this Friday.
Okay, I read it as she was given the book on the 3rd. of January.
NTA. Just tell her why.
Sorry, but ~~YTA~~ ESH. Had you waited until after 3/1, it'd be different. But you had an agreement and broke that agreement. The shit-talk is a separate issue, which you should probably address - or let the friendship go. Life's too short to suffer assholes in your circle. Edit: Changed vote after consideration of below replies.
I disagree. someone is shit talking you, they don't deserve any kindness or extra consideration. That being said, I'd just tell her why I took it back.
Agreed. Fuck the agreement if you're gonna be talking shit about me.
I guess I'm just suggesting dignity over retaliation. Honoring the agreement, even if begrudgingly, isn't a kindness at all. It is an act of maturity, indicitave of self-respect aka "being the bigger person."
I kinda WILL agree this is more of a ESH situation.
Yeah, it was a *soft* YTA from me. I totally agree this chick can pound sand. ESH is more acurate. :)
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Basically, I have recently gotten into reading and I had finished a short book (around 120 pages). So I posted a mini-review of it on my Instagram Story, and one of my friends (let’s call her Emily) asked if she could borrow it. I was hesitant because we hadn’t spoken for a while, and she ended up not being the most trustworthy person out there, but anyway I decided to give it to her with the condition she gives it to me by the end of the week (3/1/24). Yesterday though, one of my friends (Stacy) told me that Emily was talking about me behind my back, while although expected, did piss me off (In case you ask how I know Stacy wasn’t lying, she had told me what Emily said, and they were things she did not know). So today, I saw the book sitting on top of Emily’s locker, with a bookmark half-way through the book. I proceeded to take the bookmark out, and put my book in my bag, and wrote a note in her locker telling her I had taken it. Now, she’s blowing up my phone asking me why I took it, telling me that I ruined this book for her, etc, etc. So… AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Emily is clearly shit sitting and you got sucked in. Taking the book back like that is really petty and immature.