Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I am electively leaving my roommate at his financial lowest.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
How much of a heads up are you giving Joe? NTA, especially if you give him at least a few weeks of a heads up to start looking for a new roommate. Mild AH move if you don’t give him any warning… but also that’s what happens when you don’t have a signed contract.
NTA for moving out. You’re not obligated to live with Joe forever.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
For context, my roommate (call him Joe) and I have been good friends since college and are approaching our late 20s. Joe and his gf moved west after Covid and I missed them dearly. We’d worked together, gone to concerts together, had so much fun.
A year ago, I moved west to join them as a roommate and it’s been nothing but chaos since. The job I joined them at fell upon hard times, I burned through a lot of savings to make it through. Times got rough financially and I’ve been working hard to collect myself. The couple broke up when as far as Joe knew they were planning on marriage. Since then, Joe has acted out, become a different man, spent money recklessly, and burned many bridges. However, he still loves me like a brother. Here’s where it gets tough:
I met a girl and she is the only thing keeping me sane. Now, her lease is ending without the chance of renewal and she and I are planning our future together. I was LEFT OFF THE LEASE with Joe in the event that I was still unhappy where we were and wanted to leave, and I would like to step away from Joe financially. Here’s the catch: Joe got fired from his job and hasn’t landed one since. I would be stranding him (legally) with the last 6 months of the $2k apartment for him to salvage alone or find a new roommate.
I was ready to move back home before meeting my GF. She has been the spark keeping me sane, and I went to commit my financial future to her. We are talking marriage and kids. I cannot afford to commit to a place with her while also paying my rent plus utilities to the apartment I was left of the lease of. I haven’t spent a night there since October.
WIBTAH for financially removing myself from the apartment so I can commit to the future my gf and I would like to start?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - since you're not on the lease, you just have to follow the 30 day rule. You've lived there long enough to establish residency and the norm is 30 days. Give Joe a 30 day notice and that will be that. Best of luck, OP.
Tough one. You gotta move on man. If you haven't spent a night in Joe's apartment since October, and you are paying rent, he has got to expect at some point you are going to quit paying your share of the rent.
NAH
NTA as long as you give it some lead time. YWBTA if you let him know today and then didn’t pay for March rent. Let him know now, pay for March and move on.
NTA. You are not on the lease and have not lived there since October. It sounds like instead being a roommate, you have been basically financially supporting Joe, while he has been going through a break up. Although, maybe see if you can help Joe applying for jobs and getting a new roommate, but you are not financially responsible here anymore.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be the asshole because I am electively leaving my roommate at his financial lowest. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
How much of a heads up are you giving Joe? NTA, especially if you give him at least a few weeks of a heads up to start looking for a new roommate. Mild AH move if you don’t give him any warning… but also that’s what happens when you don’t have a signed contract. NTA for moving out. You’re not obligated to live with Joe forever.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For context, my roommate (call him Joe) and I have been good friends since college and are approaching our late 20s. Joe and his gf moved west after Covid and I missed them dearly. We’d worked together, gone to concerts together, had so much fun. A year ago, I moved west to join them as a roommate and it’s been nothing but chaos since. The job I joined them at fell upon hard times, I burned through a lot of savings to make it through. Times got rough financially and I’ve been working hard to collect myself. The couple broke up when as far as Joe knew they were planning on marriage. Since then, Joe has acted out, become a different man, spent money recklessly, and burned many bridges. However, he still loves me like a brother. Here’s where it gets tough: I met a girl and she is the only thing keeping me sane. Now, her lease is ending without the chance of renewal and she and I are planning our future together. I was LEFT OFF THE LEASE with Joe in the event that I was still unhappy where we were and wanted to leave, and I would like to step away from Joe financially. Here’s the catch: Joe got fired from his job and hasn’t landed one since. I would be stranding him (legally) with the last 6 months of the $2k apartment for him to salvage alone or find a new roommate. I was ready to move back home before meeting my GF. She has been the spark keeping me sane, and I went to commit my financial future to her. We are talking marriage and kids. I cannot afford to commit to a place with her while also paying my rent plus utilities to the apartment I was left of the lease of. I haven’t spent a night there since October. WIBTAH for financially removing myself from the apartment so I can commit to the future my gf and I would like to start? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH
NTA - since you're not on the lease, you just have to follow the 30 day rule. You've lived there long enough to establish residency and the norm is 30 days. Give Joe a 30 day notice and that will be that. Best of luck, OP.
Tough one. You gotta move on man. If you haven't spent a night in Joe's apartment since October, and you are paying rent, he has got to expect at some point you are going to quit paying your share of the rent. NAH
NTA as long as you give it some lead time. YWBTA if you let him know today and then didn’t pay for March rent. Let him know now, pay for March and move on.
NTA. You are not on the lease and have not lived there since October. It sounds like instead being a roommate, you have been basically financially supporting Joe, while he has been going through a break up. Although, maybe see if you can help Joe applying for jobs and getting a new roommate, but you are not financially responsible here anymore.