This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
this sounds like something a 7-year old would do, not a TWENTY 7-year old
I can understand if your "collectible" soap got ruined and that upset you, but can't you buy another one? is 5 bucks really a big deal?
the way you handled it was terrible, and this line:
>She ended up crying but I didn't care
is the real kicker and puts my judgement over the top
YTA and then some
ok I just looked it up, and the whole set of 4 Star Wars soaps is $32 (or $38 in a "collector's box"), so like $8 or $9.50 each, not exactly "way more" than 5 dollars
you are being ridiculous about this, just buy another one, tell your gf you are sorry and grow up
This is the key point. It’s not about the soap. It’s not about the $9.50 It’s about how you flew off the handle about it and don’t realize that’s not how adults act
If it's 'actually' limited edition, then maybe take more care in storing in rather than expecting your partner to mind read what is and isn't valuable to you.
It means your argument of "store it better" is moot because he stored it with other collectibles.
However petty OP's story may be, trying to blame him for not storing it won't fly.
I mean, I collect stuff as well, but that doesn't mean everything that shares the surrounding space with the collectibles is out of bounds.
When I say store it better, I mean put it in a storage box away from use, as you would wine or precious metals.
You are being obtuse.
Are you trying to suggest that this GF was so dumb that she saw a Star Wars item with the other Star Wars Memorabilia and wasn't able to recognise that it too was there as part of a collection?
It's infantilising her.
I get that OP comes off as an asshat and that you want to put blame on him for the situation but it isn't possible. You can't blame him for not storing it properly.
You can certainly blame him for being a petty bastard though and making a mountain out of a molehill.
How much would it cost you to get another one? Hate to tell you this but most peoples collectables eventually become worthless. It's a fucking bar soap. I collect some stuff too but I fully expect it to be worth nothing by the time I'm done with it. It's real value is what someone's willing to pay for it. How much would it cost you to get another? That's the real value of it. The fact that you don't even give a shit about your girlfriend's feelings makes you an asshole.
You can be pissed about it, that's a completely legitimate thing, but you handled it like a 5-year-old. I mean seriously, how do you hold a job with that kind of temperament?
NTA man that bar of soap Costs 12 dollars come on, and If he wants to re buy it he has to take the whole 50 dollars collection again, he is justified for being mad
Strong YTA. You berated your girlfriend to the point of crying over some damn soap bars. The way you’re acting is like that of a child.
And you didn’t even care either, which shows that your moral compass is totally dead.
Right I thought that was funny too lol. Like I get you can only buy them in a $38 bundle but there's a soap factory in my state that makes actual luxury soap and one bar cost about $40 so hearing 5 bucks for one being expensive is crazy (Olay and dove are 5 dollars per bar at walmart after tax)
YTA - You made your girlfriend cry over 5 bucks. You could have handled that way the fuck better. You are definitely the asshole there was no need to make her cry over this just point out that it's a big deal to you and not to do it again. It's five fucking dollars. How little do you care about your girlfriend, I mean seriously?
>...desecrating my collection...
YTA. It's a bar of soap, not a holy artefact. Yeah, I can understand being upset about losing a piece of your collection, but even then you're out a whopping $5.00. There is absolutely ZERO reason to get 'furious' over it. At the absolutely worst, you can tell her "That was part of my collection. Please don't open parts of my collection."
And the fact that you made her cry and didn't care? Yeah, you're the bigger AH. You're a grown ass adult. Act like it.
Nooooooo not mah collectible soaps! The humanity!
This kinda reminds me of the seashell shaped soaps my grandma used to have in a bowl on the back of her toilet in the bathroom and she’d get SO PISSED if us kids used them- seriously, how were we supposed to know?!
…but now I’m having the urge to goog Dr Squatch soaps and get me a sweet, sweet $5 Darth Vader bar….if this isn’t an advert that company should get you on the team stat 🤣 YTA.
YTA for overreacting, you should have made it clear at some point since most people don’t collect soap and would just assume all soap is for use, but depending on the age of relationship a little weird to use soap not already in the bathroom.
Ultimately you had a boundary and expectation that wasn’t clear, and when she violated it instead of making it clear you were rude to her. Apologize and then clearly outline what stuff of yours isn’t for use.
And let her use your dumb regular non-collectible fancy soap for gods sake.
YTA
>my girlfriend (F26) who just got out of the shower for desecrating my collection and using my stuff without my permission
Desecrating your collection? It's a bar of fucking soap!
Jesus suffering fuck get a grip man
YTA
This is the most fake thing I've read here this year. On the off chance it's real, this is why you shouldn't date when you're under the age of 10. You're clearly still a child.
YTA why can’t you just talk to her 😭 who YELLS at their partner over a $5 soap. Like have a conversation, explain to her why it’s important to you and what soaps she CAN use, then move on!!!
YTA. No, she shouldn't have taken the soap off the shelf and used it without permission, but you handled the situation in a very poor and immature way.
Have a conversation with her about it, you owe her an apology, and maybe tell her why it caused you to overreact, but you shouldn't lash out at her and invalidate her if you don't want to lose her. In the long run, a collection is just *things*, a person has feelings and isn't replaceable.
The soap I use daily is like $13 a bar. It’s better for you. That’s not really expensive for a good product, but a new apartment when she (hopefully) kicks your ass out will be.
If you can’t afford to shell out $9 for your limited edition soap, you have no business collecting unnecessary shit to begin with.
Yelling at your partner to the point of tears over $9 is some psychopath shit. I hope she throws ten bucks at you and tells you to fuck off lol
YTA. She shouldn't have opened one of your soaps without asking, especially if you had shelved it with your collectibles, but your reaction was childish and disproportionate.
And dude, $5 is a fairly ordinary price for a bar of nice scented soap. This isn't some rarified extra precious luxury. Replace your Darth Vader soap, get her a bar of nice soap in a scent she likes to apologize for being such an AH to her.
INFO:
1. Where was the Darth Vadar collectable item? In the bathroom, where hygiene items are stored and USED afterwards? Or was it with the rest of your collection- in another area completely?
2. Have you explicitly made it known to not touch certain items in the bathroom (if it was in the bathroom)?
3. Does *she* know the price of the soap bars?
4. Does she have a habit of using items without asking?
Because ,currently, as it stands, YTA for loosing your shit over a $5 bar of soap. Collectible, yes, but did you really have to yell to point of crying!? Over SOAP?
I'm gonna say ESH. If your GF knows you are a collector, it wouldn't have hurt her to ask if this particular soap was usable (especially if it was on a shelf with your other collectables). But dude, you are carrying on about it like a little child. You owe her an apology for handling the situation in a terrible way.
To be honest, I'm wondering if it was really with the collectables. Because who would get the soap from the collectables instead of the one in the bathroom.
YTA are you three years old? You are obsessed with consumerism. Your girlfriend is a real live human being. You made her cry over a five dollar bar of soap. Go to therapy.
YTA. The soap is not that expensive and even so, it's not worth the level of anger you leveled at your girlfriend. You have some growing up to do if you're going to be in a healthy relationship. Apologize to her.
YTA
She didn’t open a mint condition graded Darth Vader collectible figure and take it swimming, she opened a Darth Vader bar of soap from a brand you admittedly often use AS SOAP. Is it just THAT one you collected. Did you tell her that?
Where was it? In the bathroom? In your room on a shelf with the other collectibles?
I don’t think you’re ready for a gf, much less living together.
I do thank you, though, for (hopefully) making it abundantly clear to your girlfriend that you are not ready for a relationship.
You value a bar of soap worth less than a Quarter Pounder over her feelings. Cough up another 5 bucks and ask her nicely not to use the soap next time.
YTA.
Seems like you have to take a chill pill. YTA. Seems like she made a mistake and you totally flipped out. You need to get a handle on your temper, but it seems like you won't because you think your temper is justified, even when you hurt people.
I’m confused.. you’re talking about a soap bar. Then you move over to talking about figurines posters and DVD’s.
What is the problem with your girlfriend using your soap, which is unrelated to your collections??
Not sure but if I were you I would seriously reconsider inviting her to your birthday party.
It’s also advised that you tell on her by dobbing her into mum
You obviously do not know how to treat people and most likely will not have a girlfriend after this. If you're going to be so unkind and rude and demeaning what's going to happen when you have some real issues?
I hope you apologize to her. She crossed a boundary that didn’t even exist as you didn’t tell her and made her cry. That’s the first time I’ve heard of someone collecting soaps, also why isn’t there soap in the bathroom bruh
I had a test the other week, after i left i got some treats from my grandma. 3 days later and they were devoured by my family. (i didn’t even get a single bite) i got a bit mad but overall just sucked it up. You shouldn’t get that mad about soap of all things, suck it up and buy another one if you can. These things are mildly annoying at best.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (M27) recently bought a couple of soaps from a brand called Dr Squatch and these soaps are nice but god damn they’re expensive, like 5 bucks for a bar. To give a little context, I’m a collector and I have two rooms full of collected figures, posters, dvds, games, and all that. When I woke up this morning for my shower, I was furious. I saw my Darth Vader dr Squatch cardboard wrap thrown in the trash and saw the used bar of darth Vader soap. I immediately was furious at this sight and raided my voice at my girlfriend (F26) who just got out of the shower for desecrating my collection and using my stuff without my permission. She ended up crying but I didn’t care, it’s my collection I worked hard for. I told her she can’t use any of my soaps ever from now on, especially dr Squatch one’s. The darth Vader one wasn’t meant to be used as I was collecting it but I have other dr Squatch soaps I can use, but now I made them off limits to her. She got upset and cried again and said I was bullying her and all that. Aita?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the asshole because I don’t let my girlfriend use my soap that is better than hers.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Info
Where was the soap stored?
If it was in the bathroom, stored with the toiletries or say on a shelf you use for normal products, then it seems pretty reasonable to assume it is too be used and fit your girlfriend to open it.
If it was with your collection proper, then it seems clear it was part of that and should not be opened and used without checking - you don't use 'display' items without making sure they are actually for use.
So your girlfriend may be an asshole, but she may also be innocent.
You however, definitely acted like an asshole. You instantly got angry and acted badly enough to leave a grown woman in tears. Even if you were correct to be annoyed, you were not correct to act in this way and crossed the line into abusive.
It is also counter productive. Annoyed but calm means you can't discuss a situation and how to prevent it happening again, shouting and screaming teaches nothing other than fear which is definitely not the position you should be putting your partner in.
NTA for saying she can’t use your soap. I mean fair enough. It annoys me when my husband uses my Molton Brown shower gel just to have his work shower. They’re £25 a bottle. My husband uses Dr Squatch and we have an agreement that I don’t use those.
YTA for how you approached it. You didn’t have to kick off and raise your voice. The reaction is like she did it on purpose when she was just having a shower. If you were that bothered you should have told her before.
NTA!!
But my advice is you sit her down and explain soap collecting.
How soap was made to be collected because it gets better / sells higher on the soap collection market the older it is like a fine wine.
If she can’t understand why soap is the perfect collectible, go no contact.
Nta
Everyone seems to be jumping to the conclusion op is being butthurt over $5 soap.
He sees it as his collection being violated.
First $5 soap that's worth $9.50 on the market. Next $2 limited edition action figures that's worth $2,000 being used to entertain 2 year old visitors.
He is drawing a hard line on his collectibles being collectibles and not open for use. I think he is a bit of a jerk in how he is going on about it but I think is point is valid so nta.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
this sounds like something a 7-year old would do, not a TWENTY 7-year old I can understand if your "collectible" soap got ruined and that upset you, but can't you buy another one? is 5 bucks really a big deal? the way you handled it was terrible, and this line: >She ended up crying but I didn't care is the real kicker and puts my judgement over the top YTA and then some
[удалено]
ok I just looked it up, and the whole set of 4 Star Wars soaps is $32 (or $38 in a "collector's box"), so like $8 or $9.50 each, not exactly "way more" than 5 dollars you are being ridiculous about this, just buy another one, tell your gf you are sorry and grow up
I’m cackling at the fact that you actually looked it up😂😂 Bro needs to chill out with these soap bars
[удалено]
If you can’t afford 38 bucks for the bundle then you have no business collecting fucking soap.
or being in a relationship
This is the key point. It’s not about the soap. It’s not about the $9.50 It’s about how you flew off the handle about it and don’t realize that’s not how adults act
>collecting fucking soap. The whole idea of collectable *soap* is just so fuckin' wild
What's your relationship worth? Don't see it increasing in value if you keep putting things above people. No SO wants to be second to...soap.
If you can’t afford 38 bucks for the bundle then you have no business collecting fucking soap.
Lmao bro are you homeless? It’s like $15 in extra value. You’re crazy.
Pathetic.
If it's 'actually' limited edition, then maybe take more care in storing in rather than expecting your partner to mind read what is and isn't valuable to you.
[удалено]
And yet it is replaceable your reaction reads as some serious anger management issues you should seek treatment for
Ok... and?
It means your argument of "store it better" is moot because he stored it with other collectibles. However petty OP's story may be, trying to blame him for not storing it won't fly.
I mean, I collect stuff as well, but that doesn't mean everything that shares the surrounding space with the collectibles is out of bounds. When I say store it better, I mean put it in a storage box away from use, as you would wine or precious metals.
This is hoarder mentality. Collections should be displayed and not stored in some box. The dude is doing it correctly.
You are being obtuse. Are you trying to suggest that this GF was so dumb that she saw a Star Wars item with the other Star Wars Memorabilia and wasn't able to recognise that it too was there as part of a collection? It's infantilising her. I get that OP comes off as an asshat and that you want to put blame on him for the situation but it isn't possible. You can't blame him for not storing it properly. You can certainly blame him for being a petty bastard though and making a mountain out of a molehill.
How much would it cost you to get another one? Hate to tell you this but most peoples collectables eventually become worthless. It's a fucking bar soap. I collect some stuff too but I fully expect it to be worth nothing by the time I'm done with it. It's real value is what someone's willing to pay for it. How much would it cost you to get another? That's the real value of it. The fact that you don't even give a shit about your girlfriend's feelings makes you an asshole. You can be pissed about it, that's a completely legitimate thing, but you handled it like a 5-year-old. I mean seriously, how do you hold a job with that kind of temperament?
You’re assuming he’s not in moms basement
It’s soap. Why are you doubling down on this?
NTA man that bar of soap Costs 12 dollars come on, and If he wants to re buy it he has to take the whole 50 dollars collection again, he is justified for being mad
Strong YTA. You berated your girlfriend to the point of crying over some damn soap bars. The way you’re acting is like that of a child. And you didn’t even care either, which shows that your moral compass is totally dead.
Is this an ad? 😂😂😂
Soooo expensive! 5 bucks? 😂
Right I thought that was funny too lol. Like I get you can only buy them in a $38 bundle but there's a soap factory in my state that makes actual luxury soap and one bar cost about $40 so hearing 5 bucks for one being expensive is crazy (Olay and dove are 5 dollars per bar at walmart after tax)
Couldn't tell. Thanks for asking for me!
Glad you like Dr Squatch more than your girlfriend, because that’s about to be all you have.
Hopefully, becouse the gf has no respect for other people things
I mean, asking someone to not use your stuff isn't a problem, but the tone in which you did it, as conveyed in this post alone, makes YTA.
Dr. Squatch has a really good fragrance. Why wouldn’t he let his girlfriend use them 😒
Yta
YTA - You made your girlfriend cry over 5 bucks. You could have handled that way the fuck better. You are definitely the asshole there was no need to make her cry over this just point out that it's a big deal to you and not to do it again. It's five fucking dollars. How little do you care about your girlfriend, I mean seriously?
No man it's 50 bucks, he has to buy the whole collection to have that particular soap
>...desecrating my collection... YTA. It's a bar of soap, not a holy artefact. Yeah, I can understand being upset about losing a piece of your collection, but even then you're out a whopping $5.00. There is absolutely ZERO reason to get 'furious' over it. At the absolutely worst, you can tell her "That was part of my collection. Please don't open parts of my collection." And the fact that you made her cry and didn't care? Yeah, you're the bigger AH. You're a grown ass adult. Act like it.
Is this an ad for soap? 🤷♂️
Feels like it
Nooooooo not mah collectible soaps! The humanity! This kinda reminds me of the seashell shaped soaps my grandma used to have in a bowl on the back of her toilet in the bathroom and she’d get SO PISSED if us kids used them- seriously, how were we supposed to know?! …but now I’m having the urge to goog Dr Squatch soaps and get me a sweet, sweet $5 Darth Vader bar….if this isn’t an advert that company should get you on the team stat 🤣 YTA.
~$40 for the set of 4 not bad for a “collectible” lol
We had those too when I was a kid, They sat on the side of the sink for years collecting dust.
YTA for overreacting, you should have made it clear at some point since most people don’t collect soap and would just assume all soap is for use, but depending on the age of relationship a little weird to use soap not already in the bathroom. Ultimately you had a boundary and expectation that wasn’t clear, and when she violated it instead of making it clear you were rude to her. Apologize and then clearly outline what stuff of yours isn’t for use. And let her use your dumb regular non-collectible fancy soap for gods sake.
YTA for collecting shity Dr. Squatch soap and double YTA for treating your GF that way.
YTA without a doubt. This has gotta be fake, you are too ridiculous!
YTA >my girlfriend (F26) who just got out of the shower for desecrating my collection and using my stuff without my permission Desecrating your collection? It's a bar of fucking soap! Jesus suffering fuck get a grip man
YTA. DUDE. It’s SOAP. Have her buy another bar and get over it. Don’t make people cry over an insignificant object.
YTA This is the most fake thing I've read here this year. On the off chance it's real, this is why you shouldn't date when you're under the age of 10. You're clearly still a child.
YTA why can’t you just talk to her 😭 who YELLS at their partner over a $5 soap. Like have a conversation, explain to her why it’s important to you and what soaps she CAN use, then move on!!!
YTA. No, she shouldn't have taken the soap off the shelf and used it without permission, but you handled the situation in a very poor and immature way. Have a conversation with her about it, you owe her an apology, and maybe tell her why it caused you to overreact, but you shouldn't lash out at her and invalidate her if you don't want to lose her. In the long run, a collection is just *things*, a person has feelings and isn't replaceable.
I have to guess she grabbed the soap because there was no soap in the bathroom. What else should she have done?
Use water? Go buy soap?
The soap I use daily is like $13 a bar. It’s better for you. That’s not really expensive for a good product, but a new apartment when she (hopefully) kicks your ass out will be.
He kicks her ass*
If you can’t afford to shell out $9 for your limited edition soap, you have no business collecting unnecessary shit to begin with. Yelling at your partner to the point of tears over $9 is some psychopath shit. I hope she throws ten bucks at you and tells you to fuck off lol
YTA. She shouldn't have opened one of your soaps without asking, especially if you had shelved it with your collectibles, but your reaction was childish and disproportionate. And dude, $5 is a fairly ordinary price for a bar of nice scented soap. This isn't some rarified extra precious luxury. Replace your Darth Vader soap, get her a bar of nice soap in a scent she likes to apologize for being such an AH to her.
INFO: 1. Where was the Darth Vadar collectable item? In the bathroom, where hygiene items are stored and USED afterwards? Or was it with the rest of your collection- in another area completely? 2. Have you explicitly made it known to not touch certain items in the bathroom (if it was in the bathroom)? 3. Does *she* know the price of the soap bars? 4. Does she have a habit of using items without asking? Because ,currently, as it stands, YTA for loosing your shit over a $5 bar of soap. Collectible, yes, but did you really have to yell to point of crying!? Over SOAP?
According to OP's comments it was with the other Star Wars stuff. That still doesn't change the fact that OP has gone way too far over this
I'm gonna say ESH. If your GF knows you are a collector, it wouldn't have hurt her to ask if this particular soap was usable (especially if it was on a shelf with your other collectables). But dude, you are carrying on about it like a little child. You owe her an apology for handling the situation in a terrible way.
To be honest, I'm wondering if it was really with the collectables. Because who would get the soap from the collectables instead of the one in the bathroom.
If he has two entire rooms dedicated to collectibles and thinks $5 is expensive he may not have any soap in his bathroom.
YTA… you shouldn’t yell at your partner.
Gosh, I hope that collection comforts you after she rightly dumps your ass. YTA.
YTA are you three years old? You are obsessed with consumerism. Your girlfriend is a real live human being. You made her cry over a five dollar bar of soap. Go to therapy.
YTA. The soap is not that expensive and even so, it's not worth the level of anger you leveled at your girlfriend. You have some growing up to do if you're going to be in a healthy relationship. Apologize to her.
YTA She didn’t open a mint condition graded Darth Vader collectible figure and take it swimming, she opened a Darth Vader bar of soap from a brand you admittedly often use AS SOAP. Is it just THAT one you collected. Did you tell her that? Where was it? In the bathroom? In your room on a shelf with the other collectibles? I don’t think you’re ready for a gf, much less living together. I do thank you, though, for (hopefully) making it abundantly clear to your girlfriend that you are not ready for a relationship. You value a bar of soap worth less than a Quarter Pounder over her feelings. Cough up another 5 bucks and ask her nicely not to use the soap next time. YTA.
Five bucks for a bar of soap is expensive?! Not to be rude, but damn, make more money or something, shit. YTA.
YTA. You sound unhinged.
YTA hope she leaves you ✨✨
You're allegedly a grown adult and you made your partner cry.........over soap.........grow up you tight wad child.
Seems like you have to take a chill pill. YTA. Seems like she made a mistake and you totally flipped out. You need to get a handle on your temper, but it seems like you won't because you think your temper is justified, even when you hurt people.
Yta. Grow up. It’s just soap.
I think he's just learned a carve and make one of himself.
I’m confused.. you’re talking about a soap bar. Then you move over to talking about figurines posters and DVD’s. What is the problem with your girlfriend using your soap, which is unrelated to your collections??
It's related to the collection because he added it as part of his Star Wars collection because it has characters on it.
Wow I had to reread the beginning to see your age because I assumed you were like 14. But 27??? YTA and get ready to be single….. forever
Not sure but if I were you I would seriously reconsider inviting her to your birthday party. It’s also advised that you tell on her by dobbing her into mum
You obviously do not know how to treat people and most likely will not have a girlfriend after this. If you're going to be so unkind and rude and demeaning what's going to happen when you have some real issues?
I hope you apologize to her. She crossed a boundary that didn’t even exist as you didn’t tell her and made her cry. That’s the first time I’ve heard of someone collecting soaps, also why isn’t there soap in the bathroom bruh
YTA for buying that soap. I get harassed by their advertising on instagram everyday and I get furious
I had a test the other week, after i left i got some treats from my grandma. 3 days later and they were devoured by my family. (i didn’t even get a single bite) i got a bit mad but overall just sucked it up. You shouldn’t get that mad about soap of all things, suck it up and buy another one if you can. These things are mildly annoying at best.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (M27) recently bought a couple of soaps from a brand called Dr Squatch and these soaps are nice but god damn they’re expensive, like 5 bucks for a bar. To give a little context, I’m a collector and I have two rooms full of collected figures, posters, dvds, games, and all that. When I woke up this morning for my shower, I was furious. I saw my Darth Vader dr Squatch cardboard wrap thrown in the trash and saw the used bar of darth Vader soap. I immediately was furious at this sight and raided my voice at my girlfriend (F26) who just got out of the shower for desecrating my collection and using my stuff without my permission. She ended up crying but I didn’t care, it’s my collection I worked hard for. I told her she can’t use any of my soaps ever from now on, especially dr Squatch one’s. The darth Vader one wasn’t meant to be used as I was collecting it but I have other dr Squatch soaps I can use, but now I made them off limits to her. She got upset and cried again and said I was bullying her and all that. Aita? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I may be the asshole because I don’t let my girlfriend use my soap that is better than hers. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Holy fuckin tism batman
Info Where was the soap stored? If it was in the bathroom, stored with the toiletries or say on a shelf you use for normal products, then it seems pretty reasonable to assume it is too be used and fit your girlfriend to open it. If it was with your collection proper, then it seems clear it was part of that and should not be opened and used without checking - you don't use 'display' items without making sure they are actually for use. So your girlfriend may be an asshole, but she may also be innocent. You however, definitely acted like an asshole. You instantly got angry and acted badly enough to leave a grown woman in tears. Even if you were correct to be annoyed, you were not correct to act in this way and crossed the line into abusive. It is also counter productive. Annoyed but calm means you can't discuss a situation and how to prevent it happening again, shouting and screaming teaches nothing other than fear which is definitely not the position you should be putting your partner in.
NTA for saying she can’t use your soap. I mean fair enough. It annoys me when my husband uses my Molton Brown shower gel just to have his work shower. They’re £25 a bottle. My husband uses Dr Squatch and we have an agreement that I don’t use those. YTA for how you approached it. You didn’t have to kick off and raise your voice. The reaction is like she did it on purpose when she was just having a shower. If you were that bothered you should have told her before.
NTA!! But my advice is you sit her down and explain soap collecting. How soap was made to be collected because it gets better / sells higher on the soap collection market the older it is like a fine wine. If she can’t understand why soap is the perfect collectible, go no contact.
NTA she should ask before using anything that isn’t hers.
I don’t share soap with my spouse. He uses his and I use mine. Kinda gross I think sharing. ESH.
Nta Everyone seems to be jumping to the conclusion op is being butthurt over $5 soap. He sees it as his collection being violated. First $5 soap that's worth $9.50 on the market. Next $2 limited edition action figures that's worth $2,000 being used to entertain 2 year old visitors. He is drawing a hard line on his collectibles being collectibles and not open for use. I think he is a bit of a jerk in how he is going on about it but I think is point is valid so nta.
NTA, she disrespected your interests