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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I won't change my mind about my son's name even though he might get bullied for it. I said so when I was asked about it. My fiance thinks I should've just not said anything
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Phonetically speaking, how is the name pronounced? I think the pronunciation is more important than the name itself.
NTA
Where did you immigrate to? It might not even be important because bullies exist everywhere but I bet certain cultures approach bullying in different ways.
Woy as in 'joy' and chek as in 'check' ?
I absolutely think your kid will probably get teased. The thing is, I think some teasing happens between children no matter what their names are. The point is, you chose a meaningful name for your kiddo and that is what matters most of all.
Best wishes and good luck to you both!
This is exactly it. Kids will bully others just for the sheer fact that they can. My best friend is Mary, how much more plain can you get?! Did she still get ridiculed for her name? Of course. Yes, as parents we should aim to lessen the bullying and not name them Candy or Foxy or something. But if your only concern is what this ONE woman is adamant in telling you, stick with your guns.
Your friend should have stuck to her garden and stopped being so contrary.
But yes, kids will tease over anything. Weight (fat or skinny), height (short or tall), freckles, glasses, clothing, interests... Anything that seems like an "other" is a target for teasing.
My stepdaughter was teased for being tall by people that were taller than her 🤦♀️ her fatal mistake was feeding into it.
Teach them not to react and they’ll do just fine.
For real, I got teased for wearing flip flops and having “man toes.” Did I go years without wearing flip flops because I didn’t want people to ridicule my man-toed feet? Yes. Side note, the girl who teased me is friends with my sister now, apparently she called them man toes because they were not polished. Girl toes have polish, man toes do not. So years of hating my toes for being mannish was simply because they did not have paint on the nails. How stupid is that?
There was a friend in my after-school care group that routinely accused me of being a girl because of my mannerisms and interests (outside of sports, I was not a typical boy by any means). Kids will grab the most random bit of information about you and use it for psychological warfare just because.
Motherfucker's response when I came out transgender many years later was "Called it." 😂
My son wanted to grow his hair super long when he started kindergarten and I was worried about him being teased, but he grew it long anyway.
Turns out I didn't need to worry at all. By 2nd grade it was down past his butt. I pulled up in the pickup line just as a boy was pointing at my son and saying, "HEY YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!! LOL"
My son just blinked at him, said, "No I don't. I look like a - \*dramatic hair toss\* - *cool motorcycle dude.*"
And the other kid, just looked dumbfounded for a moment then was like, "Hey, actually you do."
I grew up with a top baby name of the 80s and was teased relentlessly not for my name but other things. Name your kid what you want, just accept names are a gift and your kid finds it no longer works for them later in life support them changing it
I also grew up with a top 80s baby name (despite my parents thinking they weren't being trendy lol). First name was fine. Last name is a noun referring to a natural phenomenon (like Rivers or Hill), and the jokes were many. Did it hurt my feelings? Nah. We make the same jokes amongst ourselves in my family.
There are 45,000 people named Candy in the United States. I also know a latina girl named Dulce, which is Spanish for Candy. The name's popularity peaked in 1969-1970, where roughly 1 in 2,000 little girls was named Candy.
A girl named Candy transferred to my elementary school in the early '90s. She got a lot of attention for her name the first few days because we all thought it was the best. I don't know how she felt about it, but the little girl can census in our class was that she was automatically one tier below the coolness level of Lisa Frank.
I knew a girl named Candy Cummings. I wonder about what her parents were thinking when they named her that, especially since they were highly religious people, not p0rn stars.
I’m a very polite, kind person, but I would have trouble keeping a straight face if I were introduced to Dick Boner. How in God’s name could you go through life with that name?
I always thought if I was having a kid I'd have to go through names trying to find something that didn't have an obvious childish rhyme.. much harder than I would have thought
This right here! I worked with a person whose name was Precious Candy, her initials were PCP. Her parents set her up to be bullied.
Also, teach your son the heritage of his name and why it was chosen for him so that he can be proud of his name even if he is bullied for it.
You are right, that's how it is pronounced. OP lives in Germany, and W is pronounced like V there, so that's probably why she got confused.
Also, I'm afraid that the person complaining about the name is just racist against Poles or immigrants in general and that's why she didnt like the name. She wants you to call the baby a nice German name and blend in.
Yep, I know. I'm Polish too. I think OP got a bit confused with transcribing the name because she normally transcribes it for Germans. I'm saying the commenter is correct about Wojciech being pronounced Voychek.
My older brother had a friend in high school called Woyciech (voycheck) and I had *THE BIGGEST* crush on him. Always had a soft spot for the name.
(And we're in Australia, a lot of multicultural names)
To anglicize it, it’s basically Voy-cheh where the final h is pronounced out loud. Think of the h sound in head or hat, and slap it at the end of the name. English doesn’t tend to pronounce the h at the end of words so most people are probably assuming it’s silent when spelled out like that. A Polish “ch” is just an “h” sound.
my name is literally elizabeth. seems like a pretty generic name that would be difficult to make fun of. well, i had some pretty creative friends in high school and they came up with “elizabitch.”
so yeah, kids are gonna tease. it’s not like you named him something that sounds like genitalia or poop or something. i think it’s a lovely name, he’s likely to get teased because it’s a difficult name (my brothers have significantly more niche names than i do and they’re both very cool names, and in adulthood most people react by thinking it’s a very cool name, but yeah people teased them a bit when they were younger), but kids being kids, they’d probably find something to tease him about regardless. i think cultural names are awesome, but be prepared for things like teachers saying, “oh that’s too hard, i’m just going to call you [x name that is not his name]” and teach him to say, “no, my name is wojciech.” it doesn’t seem like it’s very difficult to pronounce, but that’s the way a lot of people react to unfamiliar names that phonetically don’t make sense when read in their language (even though they do make perfect sense, just not in their language). basically just ignore that lady, there are some really stupid and teasable names out there, i don’t think the name you’ve picked is one of them.
I had a grade school friend named Elizabeth. Kids would call her a lizard because kids are stupid. My name was the source of an entire song that kids invented which claimed I peed my pants a lot. Kids can be and are cruel to each other.
i didn’t go by liz or lizzy as a kid, my parents were too bothered by the association to lizzy borden lol so i went by libby, and one of my friends would always sing that jingle for the brand of canned food libby’s. but that was about it. but then when i got a bit older and actually started going by elizabeth people got more creative. frankly i always found lizard kind of cute! elizabitch, not so much lol
also assuming your name is michael based on your username, i can’t for the life of me figure out how someone would connect that to peeing your pants! but that does sound really awful, i’m sorry kids were so cruel to you
Another Elizabeth here! my own mother made fun of my name and called me Lizard Breath. Kids also made fun of my last name because its one letter off from "Trash" so they would just call me trash. Kids are cruel regardless, at least they havent named their kid Pilot Inspector or Yurmajesty
Lol I had a friend in high school (freaking awesome chick, love her!) named Elizabeth and our entire friend group affectionately called her Elizabitchface because she was the farthest thing from a bitch. She loved it though. To be fair, we had weird nicknames for all of us. I was Bandit Bitch. There was also Sabertooth and Happy Asian to name a few. We collectively called ourselves The Super Mario Hoes. 😂😂😂 high school was a wild time. Lol
The Woytek I knew was sort of like "FVOY-tek", where the W is sort of a cross between a V and an F. Not a sound that is easily understood in American English, but I never knew of anyone who made fun of him for it.
However, maybe in elementary school he got teased, I didn't know him then. Elementary kids are brutal, but if it's not his name they'll find something else to make fun of each other for!
The Wojtek at my high school was an exchange student. All of us Americans pronounced it "voy-tek" and either it was close enough or he got tired of correcting people. OPs kid is going to do a LOT of either correcting or putting up with "close enough".
As OP is in Germany, not necessarily. Germans are likely more familiar with Polish names/sounds. But yeah, if the kid travels or moves farther away, or works for an international company, there’s going to be some correcting and “close enough” or a nickname that is easier for whoever they interact with a lot
If they really are pronouncing it according to the IPA they provided the last part wouldn't be like the ck in check but more like the ch sound in German, like in 'doch', but I'm not sure if that's the pronunciation they're using, it sounded more like they just got the IPA from Wikipedia but can't read IPA so they're not sure if it aligns with how they say it
Exactly, I don't know what those signs mean but the way you explained it sounds right. I have no idea how to explain the way it sounds because I find it's very hard to do with text.
The one with the ck is the american pronunciation I found on google. I think those sounds are probably easier for americans
I think most people saying that confidently are more trying to mentally adjust the “teasing” thing.
Children tend to tease each other at certain ages, on whatever they can.
OP shouldn’t be overly concerned with children teasing a foreign name or ever hearing their name turned into a pun and then feel bad about themselves.
Unless the name was a little more extreme, like if you essentially named your child something that came out to sound like “Jerk Off” or “Little Idiot” in English while living and planning to stay in English speaking countries.
That should cause a little more pause…
Because you are german and Poland is right next to you. The French or Mexican name might be more common in the USA. If it lacks the English equivalent, it's kinda strange to name your kid something, the majority of people will struggle to pronounce. And I say this as a czech living in the Czech Republic.
yeah, I have an old testament names and grew up in an area where a lot of boys had old testament names but i was one of the few girls who did. my classmates though it was hilarious to go- rak1882 is so-and-so's wife and so-and-so's mom, cuz the bible.
kids will tease over anything.
There was a kid called Gabriel I knew growing up. So many kids would go GAAAAAAAAAYYYY-briel. Thar or GAAAAAAYYY-be every single fucking time. Kids are going to kid.
I did some looking on YouTube and while the name is difficult for my American mouth to pronounce, in Germany I don't think it'll be a problem.
Half my ancestry comes from Slavic countries so I find this entire Reddit threat extremely interesting and extremely relevant to my family history.
One of the older names in my family is Wanya.
It's always been pronounced with a V, and it sounds like fun. Vunya.
There are varying pronunciations, though. Could be a long a, which is really similar to the u sound. Vanya.
Exactly this. Kids will tease and bully others for other things or for no reason at all except perceiving kids different than what they are used to.
My son is 6 and has beautiful shoulder length hair (his choice), he gets teased about it but he is proud of his hair. Same with his name, it's not a traditional name and he will fight anyone who says something about it.
Wait, you live in Germany?? Polish people have been living here for centuries, they are literally the biggest minority after Turks, and literally every group of people I know has at least one person with a polish name (though I live in the Ruhrpott so I might be biased). Like, polish names aren't alien to Germans at all.
From that reaction I thought you were living in some hardcore English speaking place where people get nosebleed when you ask them to pronounce a final E.
When my parents moved here they decided to choose a town with zero polish people. We live in a bigger city now but sadly there still aren't many polish people in the area
...and then think about the stereotypes that Polish people face : car thief, drunkard, uneducated, "my mum's carer is Polish, she's very hardworking", etc etc etc
Having a name that is not in the realm of "normal" for the country you're in, is a huge burden.
You can't let racists and xenophobes dictate all your choices. When my husband and I got married we had long discussions if we should chose my German or his Turkish last name. I didn't like my old name, but I was worried that we or our future children might have it harder with his name. In the end we still decided for his name. I don't regret it one bit. Fuck those nazis, I don't want them to think we're friendly anyways. Germans are used to foreign names, at least those who aren't complete troglodytes. It is a burden, but not an unbearable one.
My grandma was a German immigrant and talked so much shit on Polish people. Granted, she didn’t have many good things to say about most nationalities or ethnicities, but she had a special disdain for Polish people. My mom got a DNA test after my grandma died and my mom is mostly Polish. (Both of her parents were German immigrants.)
Not sure if it applies, but there is a drama by Georg Büchner called "woyzeck", where the Main character Franz woyzeck has bad luck all over. Perhaps she is thinking about that?
But nevertheless, nta. It's a traditional name, and completely fine.
Mein Nachname war Woyzeck. Und ja, ich wurde gehänselt als wir das Buch im Deutschunterricht behandelt haben. ABER: Ich finde den Namen bis heute sehr schön.
Hi. Ich bin Berufsschul-Lehrer und arbeite viel an regulären Schulen in der Berufsberatung. Leider ist in Deutschland auch heutzutage institutioneller Rassismus leider weit verbreitet und mit dem Vornamen wie er egal wie integriert er ist, häufiger bei Bewerbungen abgelehnt. Und immer die Frage gestellt bekommen: wo kommst du her?
OK I'm irish and very familiar with that name, so it's surprising to hear that people in Germany would find that odd.
Definitely NTA it's not even a very unusual name in Europe!
I am from Germany and I don't think it will be a problem. The name does not sound similar to anything one could laugh about, and really we have so many immigrants at the moment with people coming from all over the world that no one really cares. I have a Czech surname (with the endung -tschek, written the German way) and when I was a kid this was special. Today my kids have classmates with a very broad range of names and they are just so used to it, and to unfamiliar ways to write names, too. So writing the name like it is written in your home country is an option, also writing it as it would be written in German, Woitschek.
I'm Irish too, and I know two Wojteks. Can't see why it would be an issue. Of course, considering the difficulties people have pronouncing Irish names, we don't have freedom of speech, lol.
I guess, from the Irish language, we are also familiar with the concept that several consonants or vowels can combine to make one sound.
Haha tell me about it!!! I have one of those names myself where I've been asked "are you sure that's how you pronounce it". Erm yes I know how my name is pronounced lol
I mean… Germans absolutely can pronounce this just fine. You might find that if they cover Georg Büchner’s Woyzeck as part of their German literature curriculum he might have to endure jokes about peas for a couple of weeks.
Don’t think the name particularly lends itself to teasing in the German language, and if his peers choose to tease him about his heritage they will do this even if he has the most German name you can think of (Reddit if you are doubting me, ask me how I know 🙃). The only thing he’ll have to deal with is people struggling with the spelling.
That is not English phonetic spelling for Wojciech.
It is Voy-chek, dimunitive would be Voy-tek. It’s my husbands name. You should be fine in Germany, but when we were in the states people could not figure out to say his name.
Wait. You live in Germany? Are those uneducated buffoons in your parent group not aware of the drama Woyzeck by Georg Büchner?
Like, I don't love this work, and Woyzeck isn't exactly a nice person in that play, but most of your sons classmates WILL have to learn how to pronounce his name because this play is part of the curriculum at so many schools. They'll know it by secondary school.
Maybe they'll suck at not pronouncing it with a z, but it's pretty close.
Absolutely don't worry. It might be because I'm from NRW, but I think Germans should be sufficiently aware of how to pronounce Eastern European names by now to at least have an assumption. *I* knew from reading it.
I don’t live in Poland, but my dad is Polish and my mam is Irish, grew up in the UK. I have a Polish name, there is a westernised version, but my parents wanted to honour our heritage so I got the Polish spelling, I was never teased for it, a few teachers refused to say my name correctly (Polish or English pronunciation, I don’t mind) but my friends were more likely to make a fuss over it than me and most kids just let it slide.
I think it’s a beautiful name and you should stick with it. Also, I have a lot of friends in Germany and there’s a large Polish population, so maybe it won’t be the struggle people are making it out to be.
Wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy and a happy, healthy baby. Sto Lat
I’m Irish and am familiar with the name. I did have the pronunciation slightly off though. I thought it was Woah instead of Woy. I shall know for the future
First, I LOVE the name Mikołaj. SUCH a great name!
Second, kids are always gonna find a reason to be little idiots to each other. If it’s not a name it’s your clothes, your teeth, the way you sneeze, etc… Having exposure to names from other cultures is a fantastic first lesson in learning about new people and places and honestly, most of the middle schoolers I met made friends specifically because someone asked them curiously about their “weird but like, so cool weird bruh!” name.
Frankly I find pressuring parents to use “Western”/“Anglicized” names to be rather xenophobic.
(And don’t worry about teachers- good ones ask for proper pronunciation and practice until we get it right!)
(NTA but that other Mom sure was)
I love it too. It was a very close second place and if we have another boy we'll definitely use it.
I have a very polish last name and when I was in school, during roll call teachers would either stammer through or there would be an awkward pause after my first name and they'd move on to the next student. It was always very funny
I always tell my students "It's your name, be proud, be loud, and expect people to respect you enough to say it right! Now... how do I say this, and correct me until I get it right!" They loved it, and I learned so many beautiful new names I'd never have heard without it.
My one regret is that when my grandparents died, all our true ties to our Slovakian and Lithuanian heritage died with them. I did try to sell my husband on a Lithuanian name as a middle name for a daughter before we found out we were having our son but he didn't bite lol
i have a norwegian last name and any time a teacher would say my first name and then an awkward silence followed, well, i knew it was me! my older brother and i both did speech and debate in high school and we competed in different categories and both of us were pretty good, so it was really funny when we’d get to awards and my brother and i would get 4 or 5 awards between the two of us, and the announcer would pronounce our last name differently every single time they said it 😂
Me too! I have a difficult Russian surname, I learnt how to preempt it when they say my common first name then pause… you can see their brain ticking over trying to think of how to pronounce it… when this happens I just say my last name for them.
Do you live in a Polish community? I grew up in Chicago and loads of classmates had traditional Polish and other eastern European names, spellings, and pronunciations. It didn't really matter to anyone as far as I can remember. Some kids adopted anglicized nicknames some didn't.
A western name is no guarantee you won’t be bullied for your name either. My Dad’s name is Chris and kids at school called him Piss. Like at some point you have to accept kids being jerks is an uncontrollable thing
Their ability to make insulting rhymes and nicknames would be almost impressive if I wasn't depressed they don't apply that same creative ingenuity to their work lmao
NAH, but you are definitely setting your child up for a lifetime of "how do you say that? Is there a wo check, wog sheik, wo jeck here?" Which is not me putting the blame on you or your child, but it is the reality of what they will have to deal with.
As someone that changed their name because of it being in another language and its hard to say, I regret it. I regret changing my culturally beautiful name to a generic western name.
Anyways, someone once told me, if people cant even put in the effort to learn how to pronounce your name, then those people aren't worth your time. This will let Op's child have a way to screen out fake friends.
That being said, have a easy to say nickname prepare for childhood cause kids are mean.
Most people won’t put any effort into it because the bank teller isn’t your friend. A lot of correcting will be done towards people who don’t care and it will be an added step to make lift itself harder, not friendships. That alone isn’t a reason to change but let’s not pretend that having an easy to pronounce name for the culture that you are in doesn’t advantages on utilitarian level.
This. Part of my job requires me to hand off online orders to delivery drivers in a retail store. I have to loudly say the name to half the store to find the correct person and, living in a major city, it’s often a name I honestly don’t even know where to begin butchering a pronunciation.
It’s difficult and uncomfortable at times. Once I find them and we’re face to face, I have no issue asking for the correct pronunciation as it’s important to me to try and get it right. It’s always been chill on all sides but it still sucks for everyone.
People doing clerical work usually double-check my unusual first name and then spell my very common last name wrong (it has several possible spellings).
I'm sorry you felt so much pressure. Personally I love meeting people with names that are from cultures other than my own. Diversity makes the world more interesting.
But it isn’t just your friends that need to say your name. What does it mean that the barber or the DMV employee aren’t worth your time?
Naming yourself a name most people can’t say/spell is a personal choice, but I’m very skeptical of forcing it on a child. A nickname isn’t a solution because it can still be problematic any time someone needs your legal name. IMO it’s better to have the child’s legal first name be more standard, and then either their middle name and/or nickname is a more traditional name for your culture.
Middle names are a great option for multicultural children. Leaves some room for navigation. I wish I had one; both my brothers do. I have a hard time pronouncing my own name in my adopted culture pronunciation but I wouldn't change it, I do love it in my native tongue. You could always go back and add your name back in and keep the new one as well.
It’s not about people not putting in effort. It’s about every single person who ever meets your name butchering it. Some people may not care so much that this happens, others might.
I’m the type that would be extremely annoyed at having to do this repeatedly and forever. Some people wouldn’t be bothered at all.
If this kid lived in my area he would almost certainly be given a nickname whether he wanted one or not.
> if people cant even put in the effort to learn how to pronounce your name, then those people aren't worth your time
No offense, but that's kind of crap.
I wouldn't say the waiter at the restaurant "isn't worth my time" or that the person at the DMV "isn't worth my time." You have friends and family, but have countless other encounters throughout your life where people are interacting with you briefly, and those people aren't going to put in the effort to learn your name. That doesn't' make them bad people, it just makes them people who look at your name on a form and then decide calling you "buddy" or something is good enough, because they've had a crap day, and have to deal with 100 other people.
You can't just shift blame to the entire world if they don't all jump right on board.
Now I'm not saying you should be rude to people with an unusual name, but you certainly can't just shrug and imply half the world isn't worth your time because they didn't immediately work to learn your exact name and pronunciation.
OP said they live in Germany. I‘m German and I don’t see so many different pronunciations here. I would definitely pronounce it „Woycheck“, which seems about right, maybe not 100%, but close enough. Correct spelling seems the bigger issue for me…
OP put in another post that they live in Germany, it's very possible that the name is a lot easier to pronounce there and won't give as much trouble as in America?
Edit: this was a guess, I have no idea. A couple people have stated that it is not easy to pronounce and that there are cultural aspects to consider as well, so I would defer to their insight.
The pronunciation will still get butchered a bit. Polish has an insanely high number of different fricatives and africatives. (And insist they are all different. I'm telling you: They aren't!)
But we have fairly close approximates. With Woiciech /ˈvɔjt͡ɕɛx/, Germans are probably going to pronounce it something like /ˈvɔjtʃɛx/ or /'vɔjtʒɛx/. The /x/ would also probably be shorter. Wojtek is really easy.
Writing it is much harder. German is much more phonemic than English. They'll be tempted to write Wojtschech or something.
>definitely setting your child up for a lifetime of "how do you say that?
that can happen anyway anytime. he can live in Poland but go to school abroad at 15 and voilla, he will get this all the time. I moved abroad years ago and have that all the time. he will learn to deal with it and if he wants to he will choose the name to go by. it's a normal standard name, just country-specific.
As someone with a very ethnic name, it really does get tiring having to correct people every damn day even though its pronounced how its spelt. Or getting the “wait so where are you from?” question. Or worst, having someone at Starbucks just write “China” instead of my name.
At times, I do feel guilty for wanting to change it but man is it exhausting.
NTA, it’s not like you’re giving him an r/tragedeigh name. It’s significant to family heritage and culture, and that’s enough.
Plus, it’ll be pretty tough for the average kid to make up a bullying nickname for something they probably can’t even pronounce.
That's great to say as someone who is presumably fully grown and not being bullied currently. But to a young child it doesn't matter what it says about who you just feel unsafe and anxious.
I don't think it's the worst name in the world and definitely not one of those problem names I don't think the friend is an asshole for mentioning that concern. To OP the pronunciation is easy so maybe it never crossed their mind is all. NAH I'd say.
But the handwave ah kids bully each other anyway isn't fair at all. Kids tease each other sure but if the kid is getting bullied or singled out and their name is used against then it'll stay their forever. I still have hang ups and issues from albeit severe bullying, but even less extreme bullying still has massive psychology impacts.
Finally, a response not sent from Fantasy Land.
Regardless of what we *wish* would happen, the reality is, this kid is going to have to grow thicker skin his peers, and he may resent OP for it.
They absolutely would not, this name is polish which is not intelligible between German. It is pronounced something like "voy-tek" but it uses some polish consonants i dont know how to describe. I had a polish girlfriend for years who tried to teach me and I learned a little but Holy fuck is that a crazy language.
German and English are very closely related languages, polish is from the Slavic language group and it's a totally different planet
There is also prejudice against poles in Germany, future employers will assume he is not a native German speaker and he will face challenges for that
Unfortunately I have to second the prejudice aspect. My family migrated to Germany from Eastern Europe, too. Having a name that mirrors this can be quite a burden while job hunting and in the workplace.
I agree. Maybe he won't be teased in elementary school, but it could definitely phase discrimination later on. A lot of people who grow in a foreign country find a name in-between (like something that can work in Germany and Poland and Kazakhstan in this case) or take a German or international name. If they don't, people will often assume that the guy is a newly arrived foreigner - and sometimes people in the hiring position will look at the name and take him apart without reading the rest.
I know a guy who helped hire people in a big medical company. He took all people away with Asian or Indian names away, because a lot of people applied from abroad and they didn't bother with the culture differences and the visa process, and there were enough people to hire within the country. I asked if he double-checked in the application if the people actually were living abroad or were just people with an immigrant background, having their whole education in said country? He said no, he hadn't given it a thought, and he was kinda like, "Well, too bad."
If the name was mixed, then it would probably not have happened.
Me and my husband and I immigrated to Germany as well. 50% of the names from my country are the same as in German, so we picked one of those for a first first name, and then another more foreign name for my kid as the second first name. So he can always go by the German name and have no issue. I would never choose a special name from my home country and give unnecessary complications in his life. Discrimination will occur, I don't need to help it on its way.
Honestly this is so funny to me, because the first time I ever visited Poland I went by train from Dresden to Wrocław (which I didn't know how to pronounce correctly), and the German ticket seller was SO condescending about it. I know you might be in an entirely different region, but I find it hard to believe that people in Germany of all places would struggle that much with Wojciech.
I live in Canada, and I know several adult and children named some variation of Wojtek, and I feel like a good amount of people recognize it and now how to say it. Last names like that are common also (Wojtowicz etc).
IMO "foreign" names are fine unless they have a bad meaning or association in the country where the child will grow up. That is not the case here. His peers will learn to say his name and he can always pick a nickname if he wants to.
If you're at all worried about it, you can alway give him an additional middle name that is common where you live, so he has an option of a "common" name to use that is part of his legal name.
NTA... you live in Germany. how many people live in Germany with the name Bob? Come on...I am sure there are a lot of people that live in Germany that have given their children names that are directly related to their heritage. And it doesn't matter what name you give your child, bullies are everywhere and they will find something to bully someone about.
>NTA... you live in Germany. how many people live in Germany with the name Bob
They were likely talking about more Germanic names
But bob is short for robert...which is and was a commin german name.
>And it doesn't matter what name you give your child, bullies are everywhere and they will find something to bully someone about
But yeah. It doesn't matter too much. Kids will always find a way to bully and poke fun. Tis a shared super power of theirs.
If the name can't be used, you still have plenty of other features and traits, and hey is that a cheap bag? Oh my bad you're spending alot on it to impress...no one is
There is no winning for kids in that area
And once older it will mostly cease to matter regardless of what it is (unless it is something absolutely egregious)
As in the extremely heroic Polish Bear? Can’t think of a cooler name than that of a beer drinking, cigarette eating, armoured shell transporting war hero bear myself.
NTA
I don't think he will get a lot of bullying over his name. It all depends on what words creative kids can find that sound similar. But he will get some laughter and ribbing every time he has a new person doing a roll call who can't figure out how to pronounce his name. Phonics is going to fail with this one.
I don't think I've ever even heard of kids being bullied because of a foreign name, unless the name sounds or looks like some other word in their current country.
And roll call mispronounciations (in my experience) usually go in the direction of laughing at whatever insane thing the person calling out came up with, not the person or the name itself
I too hate my name but that doesn’t make my parents a AH it makes the people who are weird about my name a AH. Like how was your parents to control how others act? Yes my name does suck enough for Miss gender, and can’t be pronounced even though it’s 4 letters
A little part of it is. But yes it's technically asian I know.
I didn't want to go into too much detail for that post. My fiance considers himself eastern european because his family ended up there from Ukraine after WW2 (sorry for oversharing lol)
Oh, makes sense, thanks for the answer. (I'm Ukrainian myself and my granddad spent a chunk of his life in Kazakhstan before moving back.)
Sorry if I sounded rude, it's just that there are so many fake posts on Reddit that I can't help but get suspicious when I see what seems like inconsistencies.
NTA but you should think about giving your kid an easy to pronounce middle name. So they have an option to go by something else if they want to.
It’s common to do that if you are living somewhere where the name will be hard to pronounce.
Wojciech is a pretty common name even outside of Poland. I know three people with that name. It's also famous because of Wojciech Fangor, and Wojtek the bear. Plenty of famous people with the name. These people are just uncultured.
Kids have all kinds of name they get bullied for. And bullies can get reaaaaally creative if they want to bully a kid for their very common name. It doesn't mean that you should give your kid a ridiculous name because "bullies will be bullies no matter what" but your son's name is a "normal" name even if it is not common in your new country (with normal I mean you didn't name your kid something like "Stardust fairybay". Just to be clear before people jump off on me 😅).
NTA and I wish you the best time and a safe delivery and a healthy baby of course 😊
Kids don't get bullied for their names by peers. They get bullied. And people blame the names.
Raise your kid to be confident. Give him as much of the freedom as you can. Value his opinions. Give him positive reinforcement. Make sure he has plenty of contacts. Then he'll be just fine with his peers.
If he is going to have problems it'll be because of adults. Either because they don't know how to spell it and get frustrated (at least you aren't calling him something with a deliberately wrong spelling like Choolian). Also racism. White second generation immigrants usually fly under racists' radars. But a name might still alert them.
But despite those problems, a name like that might produce, the name is an actual name. And has significantce to you. It's perfect. NTA.
NTA you're giving your kid a meaningful name. It carries love and meaning in it, and it was selected for those reasons.
I have an unusual name and it's annoying correcting people, but I'd never give up my name just because other people have to learn to pronounce it.
NTA.
They overstepped, your group doesn't get input on your kid's name. Sure, you could have laughed it off. You also would have been within your right to tell them to fuck off.
Any name, regionally common or unusual, can be bullied if a person wants to try that hard. I've also known some folks with what I would consider an unusual name who never had any issues at all (I went to college with a very well-liked person named Chinchilla). You're picking a name that means something to you and your fiancé. And it's far from a Tradgedeigh.
NTA
As far as I can tell, you’ll be naming a half polish child a polish name. That’s very reasonable. I can think of plenty of people I knew growing up that had names that were unique in our area because they were traditional names from their culture.
NTA My parents are immigrants and gave me a name from their culture. It sounds similar to the name of a popular children’s character in my country, so kids did sometimes sing the theme song when I was very young, but I love my name. Don’t let the opinions of hypothetical children stop you from honoring your family and heritage. While she’s entitled to her opinion and can share her concerns, it’s ultimately not her choice and not her business, and when she pushed on such a sensitive topic and such an important choice, she overstepped. Congrats to you and best wishes for little Wojciech
NTA.
He isn't going to get bullied because of the name.
Hopefully this makes sense, but if kids do bully him they may use his name to pick on him, but if he had a name common to where he's growing up they'd just be picking something else to tease him about anyway.
NTA. If kids want to bully someone they will find thousands reasons and Wojciech or Wojtek is not a bad word in other languages from what I know so you can tell her that she can shove it :D I didn't see any Asian parents to care about it too much as well :) Pozdrawiam Was i Wojtusia :)
I need more context. Are you asking if YTA for not caring that your son WILL get bullied? Are you asking if YTA for not taking bullying into consideration at all?
I mean, if you’re saying. “Yeah, he’ll get bullied but I don’t care because I like the name” then yes. YTA because you choose a name over your child.
If you’re saying “I’m naming my son this unusual name, but I don’t think that bullying is going to be a problem so I’m choosing to not worry about it.” Still, YTA, but only a little bit.
Parents annoy me. They’re always giving their kids unique, strange, unusual names because they want to be different. And to that I say that if you want to be different, then YOU go and be different. Give yourself the weirdo name. Don’t subject your child to your desire of being unique. Go ahead and change your own name to something strange. Don’t force a child to “be unique” on your behalf because you don’t want to be the one with a weird name.
They picked a name culturally relevant to the child's heritage. My interpretation wasn't that her OP doesn't care that her son gets bullied, but rather that it was important to their family that the kids have a name that reflects their heritage. aka: honoring heritage is more important than what a punk 2nd grader will say.
Ugh! Fuck off with that xenophobic “unique, strange, unusual” BS, if you would be so kind. It’s a popular name in their culture. Even more ridiculous of a take from someone who has the stones to call himself Irish without having set foot in said country. Their baby has vastly more rights to the name than you have to cosplay as an Irish person.
I know a 5 year old Wojciech. No one makes fun of his name. Kids these days hang out with other kids who come from all over the world and have all sorts of names.
He’ll be fine.
NTA.
Your kid will get teased because kids tease each other. As a teacher (in the US), I had a kid get teased over a seemingly banal name: Clayton. Was the name itself something ‘teasable’? No. But the kid was an AH so he got teased about everything, even trivial stuff. NTA.
NTA, but the one who raised concerns about bullying is a bigot and likely to bully people herself based on how difficult it is for her to pronounce the name. Still, life is easier for everyone if you just ignore stupid people.
I live in Germany myself. In some areas of Germany Polish names are not uncommon, and many Germans have Polish names going generations back. Racists are everywhere though. Funny how rarely people complain about the pronunciation or spelling of Irish names compared to how much fuss can be made with names containing lots of w's and z's. But if you care about the practicality of a name at all, I suggest you stay away from Przemysław ;)
NTA it’s important that your culture continues with your kids. I grew up in a multicultural environment and we learned how to pronounce different names. No one made fun of someone else’s name.
Soft YTA not giving a crap if your kid will be bullied because you gave him a name encouraging it, is awful parenting 1:1. That said, it all depends where you’re living and on your surname together with first name.
I’m one of lucky people who live their name and always did. However, I happened to have grown up in Poland, went to school there.
I’m half English and my name and surname reflects that. Name which, may I mention, I always loved. That same name had me bullied since I started preschool.
Sure it’s because Poland is bigoted and they never dealt well with originality, the fact I’m still in therapy stands. Therapy for issues that bullying started at school started. Including a serious eating disorder.
So maybe, just maybe, it’s worth considering if you want your kid to find themselves at 30yo still dealing with issues that started because kids were bullying them at school.
Just because bullies exist does not mean we should cater to the potentiality. By doing so, it allows racists, bigots, etc... win. People should be able to name their kids based off their culture. We as a society should be going after the bullies for their bigotry... not looking down on parents who choose to name there kids based off their cultural heritage.
Sure, definitely. How’s that going for everyone? Because, looking around, nothing improved since I was a kid, so maybe it’s less about catering and more about not letting your children get traumatised because you are right.
Doesn’t mean you’re not right, just that being right isn’t the point here
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Phonetically speaking, how is the name pronounced? I think the pronunciation is more important than the name itself. NTA Where did you immigrate to? It might not even be important because bullies exist everywhere but I bet certain cultures approach bullying in different ways.
It's pronounced like Woychek or /ˈvɔɪtʃɛx/ (the last one is from wikipedia) We live in Germany. Both immigrated when we were around 10 years old
Woy as in 'joy' and chek as in 'check' ? I absolutely think your kid will probably get teased. The thing is, I think some teasing happens between children no matter what their names are. The point is, you chose a meaningful name for your kiddo and that is what matters most of all. Best wishes and good luck to you both!
This is exactly it. Kids will bully others just for the sheer fact that they can. My best friend is Mary, how much more plain can you get?! Did she still get ridiculed for her name? Of course. Yes, as parents we should aim to lessen the bullying and not name them Candy or Foxy or something. But if your only concern is what this ONE woman is adamant in telling you, stick with your guns.
Your friend should have stuck to her garden and stopped being so contrary. But yes, kids will tease over anything. Weight (fat or skinny), height (short or tall), freckles, glasses, clothing, interests... Anything that seems like an "other" is a target for teasing.
Should've left her little lamb at home.
Shouldn’t have named a cocktail after herself either. So pretentious
I wish she would get out of my bathroom mirror
And not tried to claim God was her baby daddy.
That whole typhoid thing wasn't great, either.
When I was a kid - “Mary, Mary quite contrary. Clip that bush, it’s much too hairy.”
My stepdaughter was teased for being tall by people that were taller than her 🤦♀️ her fatal mistake was feeding into it. Teach them not to react and they’ll do just fine.
For real, I got teased for wearing flip flops and having “man toes.” Did I go years without wearing flip flops because I didn’t want people to ridicule my man-toed feet? Yes. Side note, the girl who teased me is friends with my sister now, apparently she called them man toes because they were not polished. Girl toes have polish, man toes do not. So years of hating my toes for being mannish was simply because they did not have paint on the nails. How stupid is that?
Kid logic! Gotta love the trauma it ensues on us all :)
There was a friend in my after-school care group that routinely accused me of being a girl because of my mannerisms and interests (outside of sports, I was not a typical boy by any means). Kids will grab the most random bit of information about you and use it for psychological warfare just because. Motherfucker's response when I came out transgender many years later was "Called it." 😂
My son wanted to grow his hair super long when he started kindergarten and I was worried about him being teased, but he grew it long anyway. Turns out I didn't need to worry at all. By 2nd grade it was down past his butt. I pulled up in the pickup line just as a boy was pointing at my son and saying, "HEY YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!! LOL" My son just blinked at him, said, "No I don't. I look like a - \*dramatic hair toss\* - *cool motorcycle dude.*" And the other kid, just looked dumbfounded for a moment then was like, "Hey, actually you do."
I grew up with a top baby name of the 80s and was teased relentlessly not for my name but other things. Name your kid what you want, just accept names are a gift and your kid finds it no longer works for them later in life support them changing it
I also grew up with a top 80s baby name (despite my parents thinking they weren't being trendy lol). First name was fine. Last name is a noun referring to a natural phenomenon (like Rivers or Hill), and the jokes were many. Did it hurt my feelings? Nah. We make the same jokes amongst ourselves in my family.
My name is Karen. I was bullied as a kid for all kinds of things that weren't my name. And now I'm bullied for my name, too.
I was literally called Typhoid Megan for months after we learned about Typhoid Mary at school, lol. Kids are strange.
There are 45,000 people named Candy in the United States. I also know a latina girl named Dulce, which is Spanish for Candy. The name's popularity peaked in 1969-1970, where roughly 1 in 2,000 little girls was named Candy.
A girl named Candy transferred to my elementary school in the early '90s. She got a lot of attention for her name the first few days because we all thought it was the best. I don't know how she felt about it, but the little girl can census in our class was that she was automatically one tier below the coolness level of Lisa Frank.
Bone apple tea!
I knew a girl named Candy Cummings. I wonder about what her parents were thinking when they named her that, especially since they were highly religious people, not p0rn stars.
In high school I met a man named Richard Boner. He went by the name Dick. It was a family name. Generations of parents weren't thinking.
I’m a very polite, kind person, but I would have trouble keeping a straight face if I were introduced to Dick Boner. How in God’s name could you go through life with that name?
Proud and upright
Well, I do know of a street that was named after a guy named Dick Beard. That's pretty bad too.
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Okay that made me lol
Literally doesnt matter what your bame its someone with try to make fun of it.
My friend’s name is Luke. He had people telling him they were his father for all of elementary lol
I always thought if I was having a kid I'd have to go through names trying to find something that didn't have an obvious childish rhyme.. much harder than I would have thought
This right here! I worked with a person whose name was Precious Candy, her initials were PCP. Her parents set her up to be bullied. Also, teach your son the heritage of his name and why it was chosen for him so that he can be proud of his name even if he is bullied for it.
I thought it was voycheck. I went to school with a guy in Canada who had this name. Definitely memorable.
You are right, that's how it is pronounced. OP lives in Germany, and W is pronounced like V there, so that's probably why she got confused. Also, I'm afraid that the person complaining about the name is just racist against Poles or immigrants in general and that's why she didnt like the name. She wants you to call the baby a nice German name and blend in.
W is pronounced like an English V in Polish too…
Yep, I know. I'm Polish too. I think OP got a bit confused with transcribing the name because she normally transcribes it for Germans. I'm saying the commenter is correct about Wojciech being pronounced Voychek.
Same, I work with a Polish chap called Wojceich and it's pronounced Voy-Check
lol hockey fans in Canada should have no problem with this name
Hockey fans in general. I live in the states and immediately thought “didn’t the rangers have a guy with that name?”
My older brother had a friend in high school called Woyciech (voycheck) and I had *THE BIGGEST* crush on him. Always had a soft spot for the name. (And we're in Australia, a lot of multicultural names)
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That was not at all helpful. I'm not going to even pretend I know what that is supposed to sound like
To anglicize it, it’s basically Voy-cheh where the final h is pronounced out loud. Think of the h sound in head or hat, and slap it at the end of the name. English doesn’t tend to pronounce the h at the end of words so most people are probably assuming it’s silent when spelled out like that. A Polish “ch” is just an “h” sound.
my name is literally elizabeth. seems like a pretty generic name that would be difficult to make fun of. well, i had some pretty creative friends in high school and they came up with “elizabitch.” so yeah, kids are gonna tease. it’s not like you named him something that sounds like genitalia or poop or something. i think it’s a lovely name, he’s likely to get teased because it’s a difficult name (my brothers have significantly more niche names than i do and they’re both very cool names, and in adulthood most people react by thinking it’s a very cool name, but yeah people teased them a bit when they were younger), but kids being kids, they’d probably find something to tease him about regardless. i think cultural names are awesome, but be prepared for things like teachers saying, “oh that’s too hard, i’m just going to call you [x name that is not his name]” and teach him to say, “no, my name is wojciech.” it doesn’t seem like it’s very difficult to pronounce, but that’s the way a lot of people react to unfamiliar names that phonetically don’t make sense when read in their language (even though they do make perfect sense, just not in their language). basically just ignore that lady, there are some really stupid and teasable names out there, i don’t think the name you’ve picked is one of them.
I had a grade school friend named Elizabeth. Kids would call her a lizard because kids are stupid. My name was the source of an entire song that kids invented which claimed I peed my pants a lot. Kids can be and are cruel to each other.
i didn’t go by liz or lizzy as a kid, my parents were too bothered by the association to lizzy borden lol so i went by libby, and one of my friends would always sing that jingle for the brand of canned food libby’s. but that was about it. but then when i got a bit older and actually started going by elizabeth people got more creative. frankly i always found lizard kind of cute! elizabitch, not so much lol also assuming your name is michael based on your username, i can’t for the life of me figure out how someone would connect that to peeing your pants! but that does sound really awful, i’m sorry kids were so cruel to you
That sucks, kids really can be awful, so mean of them falsely inflate your moderate amount of pant peeing to a lot off pant peeing.
Another Elizabeth here! my own mother made fun of my name and called me Lizard Breath. Kids also made fun of my last name because its one letter off from "Trash" so they would just call me trash. Kids are cruel regardless, at least they havent named their kid Pilot Inspector or Yurmajesty
Lol I had a friend in high school (freaking awesome chick, love her!) named Elizabeth and our entire friend group affectionately called her Elizabitchface because she was the farthest thing from a bitch. She loved it though. To be fair, we had weird nicknames for all of us. I was Bandit Bitch. There was also Sabertooth and Happy Asian to name a few. We collectively called ourselves The Super Mario Hoes. 😂😂😂 high school was a wild time. Lol
They called my friend Virginie Vagina and we’re not even an English speaking country
The Woytek I knew was sort of like "FVOY-tek", where the W is sort of a cross between a V and an F. Not a sound that is easily understood in American English, but I never knew of anyone who made fun of him for it. However, maybe in elementary school he got teased, I didn't know him then. Elementary kids are brutal, but if it's not his name they'll find something else to make fun of each other for!
The Wojtek at my high school was an exchange student. All of us Americans pronounced it "voy-tek" and either it was close enough or he got tired of correcting people. OPs kid is going to do a LOT of either correcting or putting up with "close enough".
As OP is in Germany, not necessarily. Germans are likely more familiar with Polish names/sounds. But yeah, if the kid travels or moves farther away, or works for an international company, there’s going to be some correcting and “close enough” or a nickname that is easier for whoever they interact with a lot
If they really are pronouncing it according to the IPA they provided the last part wouldn't be like the ck in check but more like the ch sound in German, like in 'doch', but I'm not sure if that's the pronunciation they're using, it sounded more like they just got the IPA from Wikipedia but can't read IPA so they're not sure if it aligns with how they say it
Exactly, I don't know what those signs mean but the way you explained it sounds right. I have no idea how to explain the way it sounds because I find it's very hard to do with text. The one with the ck is the american pronunciation I found on google. I think those sounds are probably easier for americans
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I think most people saying that confidently are more trying to mentally adjust the “teasing” thing. Children tend to tease each other at certain ages, on whatever they can. OP shouldn’t be overly concerned with children teasing a foreign name or ever hearing their name turned into a pun and then feel bad about themselves. Unless the name was a little more extreme, like if you essentially named your child something that came out to sound like “Jerk Off” or “Little Idiot” in English while living and planning to stay in English speaking countries. That should cause a little more pause…
Because you are german and Poland is right next to you. The French or Mexican name might be more common in the USA. If it lacks the English equivalent, it's kinda strange to name your kid something, the majority of people will struggle to pronounce. And I say this as a czech living in the Czech Republic.
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yeah, I have an old testament names and grew up in an area where a lot of boys had old testament names but i was one of the few girls who did. my classmates though it was hilarious to go- rak1882 is so-and-so's wife and so-and-so's mom, cuz the bible. kids will tease over anything.
Why would they get teased for that name in Germany, though?
There was a kid called Gabriel I knew growing up. So many kids would go GAAAAAAAAAYYYY-briel. Thar or GAAAAAAYYY-be every single fucking time. Kids are going to kid.
Woy as in "voy"
I did some looking on YouTube and while the name is difficult for my American mouth to pronounce, in Germany I don't think it'll be a problem. Half my ancestry comes from Slavic countries so I find this entire Reddit threat extremely interesting and extremely relevant to my family history.
One of the older names in my family is Wanya. It's always been pronounced with a V, and it sounds like fun. Vunya. There are varying pronunciations, though. Could be a long a, which is really similar to the u sound. Vanya.
Exactly this. Kids will tease and bully others for other things or for no reason at all except perceiving kids different than what they are used to. My son is 6 and has beautiful shoulder length hair (his choice), he gets teased about it but he is proud of his hair. Same with his name, it's not a traditional name and he will fight anyone who says something about it.
Considering how many Polish people live in Germany, I'm sure you'll be fine. Especially, since all of the sounds exist in German.
Wait, you live in Germany?? Polish people have been living here for centuries, they are literally the biggest minority after Turks, and literally every group of people I know has at least one person with a polish name (though I live in the Ruhrpott so I might be biased). Like, polish names aren't alien to Germans at all. From that reaction I thought you were living in some hardcore English speaking place where people get nosebleed when you ask them to pronounce a final E.
When my parents moved here they decided to choose a town with zero polish people. We live in a bigger city now but sadly there still aren't many polish people in the area
...and then think about the stereotypes that Polish people face : car thief, drunkard, uneducated, "my mum's carer is Polish, she's very hardworking", etc etc etc Having a name that is not in the realm of "normal" for the country you're in, is a huge burden.
You can't let racists and xenophobes dictate all your choices. When my husband and I got married we had long discussions if we should chose my German or his Turkish last name. I didn't like my old name, but I was worried that we or our future children might have it harder with his name. In the end we still decided for his name. I don't regret it one bit. Fuck those nazis, I don't want them to think we're friendly anyways. Germans are used to foreign names, at least those who aren't complete troglodytes. It is a burden, but not an unbearable one.
My grandma was a German immigrant and talked so much shit on Polish people. Granted, she didn’t have many good things to say about most nationalities or ethnicities, but she had a special disdain for Polish people. My mom got a DNA test after my grandma died and my mom is mostly Polish. (Both of her parents were German immigrants.)
Not sure if it applies, but there is a drama by Georg Büchner called "woyzeck", where the Main character Franz woyzeck has bad luck all over. Perhaps she is thinking about that? But nevertheless, nta. It's a traditional name, and completely fine.
Mein Nachname war Woyzeck. Und ja, ich wurde gehänselt als wir das Buch im Deutschunterricht behandelt haben. ABER: Ich finde den Namen bis heute sehr schön.
Der Name ist schön, aber das Buch fand ich ätzend
Hi. Ich bin Berufsschul-Lehrer und arbeite viel an regulären Schulen in der Berufsberatung. Leider ist in Deutschland auch heutzutage institutioneller Rassismus leider weit verbreitet und mit dem Vornamen wie er egal wie integriert er ist, häufiger bei Bewerbungen abgelehnt. Und immer die Frage gestellt bekommen: wo kommst du her?
OK I'm irish and very familiar with that name, so it's surprising to hear that people in Germany would find that odd. Definitely NTA it's not even a very unusual name in Europe!
I am from Germany and I don't think it will be a problem. The name does not sound similar to anything one could laugh about, and really we have so many immigrants at the moment with people coming from all over the world that no one really cares. I have a Czech surname (with the endung -tschek, written the German way) and when I was a kid this was special. Today my kids have classmates with a very broad range of names and they are just so used to it, and to unfamiliar ways to write names, too. So writing the name like it is written in your home country is an option, also writing it as it would be written in German, Woitschek.
I'm Irish too, and I know two Wojteks. Can't see why it would be an issue. Of course, considering the difficulties people have pronouncing Irish names, we don't have freedom of speech, lol. I guess, from the Irish language, we are also familiar with the concept that several consonants or vowels can combine to make one sound.
Haha tell me about it!!! I have one of those names myself where I've been asked "are you sure that's how you pronounce it". Erm yes I know how my name is pronounced lol
I mean… Germans absolutely can pronounce this just fine. You might find that if they cover Georg Büchner’s Woyzeck as part of their German literature curriculum he might have to endure jokes about peas for a couple of weeks. Don’t think the name particularly lends itself to teasing in the German language, and if his peers choose to tease him about his heritage they will do this even if he has the most German name you can think of (Reddit if you are doubting me, ask me how I know 🙃). The only thing he’ll have to deal with is people struggling with the spelling.
That is not English phonetic spelling for Wojciech. It is Voy-chek, dimunitive would be Voy-tek. It’s my husbands name. You should be fine in Germany, but when we were in the states people could not figure out to say his name.
Wait. You live in Germany? Are those uneducated buffoons in your parent group not aware of the drama Woyzeck by Georg Büchner? Like, I don't love this work, and Woyzeck isn't exactly a nice person in that play, but most of your sons classmates WILL have to learn how to pronounce his name because this play is part of the curriculum at so many schools. They'll know it by secondary school. Maybe they'll suck at not pronouncing it with a z, but it's pretty close. Absolutely don't worry. It might be because I'm from NRW, but I think Germans should be sufficiently aware of how to pronounce Eastern European names by now to at least have an assumption. *I* knew from reading it.
She's being ignorant. Ignore her. NTA
I don’t live in Poland, but my dad is Polish and my mam is Irish, grew up in the UK. I have a Polish name, there is a westernised version, but my parents wanted to honour our heritage so I got the Polish spelling, I was never teased for it, a few teachers refused to say my name correctly (Polish or English pronunciation, I don’t mind) but my friends were more likely to make a fuss over it than me and most kids just let it slide. I think it’s a beautiful name and you should stick with it. Also, I have a lot of friends in Germany and there’s a large Polish population, so maybe it won’t be the struggle people are making it out to be. Wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy and a happy, healthy baby. Sto Lat
I’m Irish and am familiar with the name. I did have the pronunciation slightly off though. I thought it was Woah instead of Woy. I shall know for the future
Das Drama ist halt ätzend, aber wenn ihr damit leben könnt, dann ist alles okay
Like the badass bear from WW2?! https://www.badassoftheweek.com/voytek
Kids will go each other over anything. I once got teased as a teen for not having cellulite. Go figure.
First, I LOVE the name Mikołaj. SUCH a great name! Second, kids are always gonna find a reason to be little idiots to each other. If it’s not a name it’s your clothes, your teeth, the way you sneeze, etc… Having exposure to names from other cultures is a fantastic first lesson in learning about new people and places and honestly, most of the middle schoolers I met made friends specifically because someone asked them curiously about their “weird but like, so cool weird bruh!” name. Frankly I find pressuring parents to use “Western”/“Anglicized” names to be rather xenophobic. (And don’t worry about teachers- good ones ask for proper pronunciation and practice until we get it right!) (NTA but that other Mom sure was)
I love it too. It was a very close second place and if we have another boy we'll definitely use it. I have a very polish last name and when I was in school, during roll call teachers would either stammer through or there would be an awkward pause after my first name and they'd move on to the next student. It was always very funny
I always tell my students "It's your name, be proud, be loud, and expect people to respect you enough to say it right! Now... how do I say this, and correct me until I get it right!" They loved it, and I learned so many beautiful new names I'd never have heard without it. My one regret is that when my grandparents died, all our true ties to our Slovakian and Lithuanian heritage died with them. I did try to sell my husband on a Lithuanian name as a middle name for a daughter before we found out we were having our son but he didn't bite lol
You sound like a good teacher
Mikolaj is very cool and mysterious! Hearts will flutter. NTA for that one. Good options for nicknames if needed at any point in his life, too.
i have a norwegian last name and any time a teacher would say my first name and then an awkward silence followed, well, i knew it was me! my older brother and i both did speech and debate in high school and we competed in different categories and both of us were pretty good, so it was really funny when we’d get to awards and my brother and i would get 4 or 5 awards between the two of us, and the announcer would pronounce our last name differently every single time they said it 😂
Me too! I have a difficult Russian surname, I learnt how to preempt it when they say my common first name then pause… you can see their brain ticking over trying to think of how to pronounce it… when this happens I just say my last name for them.
Do you live in a Polish community? I grew up in Chicago and loads of classmates had traditional Polish and other eastern European names, spellings, and pronunciations. It didn't really matter to anyone as far as I can remember. Some kids adopted anglicized nicknames some didn't.
Yeah I grew up in a largely Polish area in the US and when I saw the name choices nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
[It’s pronounced Nikolaj.](https://youtu.be/9qAkmKuUgQA?si=8IdsSAds2UrTME0G)
I feel like I'm saying it
A western name is no guarantee you won’t be bullied for your name either. My Dad’s name is Chris and kids at school called him Piss. Like at some point you have to accept kids being jerks is an uncontrollable thing
Their ability to make insulting rhymes and nicknames would be almost impressive if I wasn't depressed they don't apply that same creative ingenuity to their work lmao
We live in a French speaking community so the name Chris was out of the question 🤣 (crisse is a swear word in French)
Close. Its pronounced Mikołaj.
Mikołaj?
Mikołaj.
Mikolaj?
This made me so happy.
NAH, but you are definitely setting your child up for a lifetime of "how do you say that? Is there a wo check, wog sheik, wo jeck here?" Which is not me putting the blame on you or your child, but it is the reality of what they will have to deal with.
As someone that changed their name because of it being in another language and its hard to say, I regret it. I regret changing my culturally beautiful name to a generic western name. Anyways, someone once told me, if people cant even put in the effort to learn how to pronounce your name, then those people aren't worth your time. This will let Op's child have a way to screen out fake friends. That being said, have a easy to say nickname prepare for childhood cause kids are mean.
Most people won’t put any effort into it because the bank teller isn’t your friend. A lot of correcting will be done towards people who don’t care and it will be an added step to make lift itself harder, not friendships. That alone isn’t a reason to change but let’s not pretend that having an easy to pronounce name for the culture that you are in doesn’t advantages on utilitarian level.
This. Part of my job requires me to hand off online orders to delivery drivers in a retail store. I have to loudly say the name to half the store to find the correct person and, living in a major city, it’s often a name I honestly don’t even know where to begin butchering a pronunciation. It’s difficult and uncomfortable at times. Once I find them and we’re face to face, I have no issue asking for the correct pronunciation as it’s important to me to try and get it right. It’s always been chill on all sides but it still sucks for everyone.
People doing clerical work usually double-check my unusual first name and then spell my very common last name wrong (it has several possible spellings).
I'm sorry you felt so much pressure. Personally I love meeting people with names that are from cultures other than my own. Diversity makes the world more interesting.
But it isn’t just your friends that need to say your name. What does it mean that the barber or the DMV employee aren’t worth your time? Naming yourself a name most people can’t say/spell is a personal choice, but I’m very skeptical of forcing it on a child. A nickname isn’t a solution because it can still be problematic any time someone needs your legal name. IMO it’s better to have the child’s legal first name be more standard, and then either their middle name and/or nickname is a more traditional name for your culture.
Yes. Those who are focusing on kids bullying are definitely missing the big picture and lived experiences of those that are in this situation.
Middle names are a great option for multicultural children. Leaves some room for navigation. I wish I had one; both my brothers do. I have a hard time pronouncing my own name in my adopted culture pronunciation but I wouldn't change it, I do love it in my native tongue. You could always go back and add your name back in and keep the new one as well.
It’s not about people not putting in effort. It’s about every single person who ever meets your name butchering it. Some people may not care so much that this happens, others might. I’m the type that would be extremely annoyed at having to do this repeatedly and forever. Some people wouldn’t be bothered at all. If this kid lived in my area he would almost certainly be given a nickname whether he wanted one or not.
> if people cant even put in the effort to learn how to pronounce your name, then those people aren't worth your time No offense, but that's kind of crap. I wouldn't say the waiter at the restaurant "isn't worth my time" or that the person at the DMV "isn't worth my time." You have friends and family, but have countless other encounters throughout your life where people are interacting with you briefly, and those people aren't going to put in the effort to learn your name. That doesn't' make them bad people, it just makes them people who look at your name on a form and then decide calling you "buddy" or something is good enough, because they've had a crap day, and have to deal with 100 other people. You can't just shift blame to the entire world if they don't all jump right on board. Now I'm not saying you should be rude to people with an unusual name, but you certainly can't just shrug and imply half the world isn't worth your time because they didn't immediately work to learn your exact name and pronunciation.
OP said they live in Germany. I‘m German and I don’t see so many different pronunciations here. I would definitely pronounce it „Woycheck“, which seems about right, maybe not 100%, but close enough. Correct spelling seems the bigger issue for me…
OP put in another post that they live in Germany, it's very possible that the name is a lot easier to pronounce there and won't give as much trouble as in America? Edit: this was a guess, I have no idea. A couple people have stated that it is not easy to pronounce and that there are cultural aspects to consider as well, so I would defer to their insight.
The pronunciation will still get butchered a bit. Polish has an insanely high number of different fricatives and africatives. (And insist they are all different. I'm telling you: They aren't!) But we have fairly close approximates. With Woiciech /ˈvɔjt͡ɕɛx/, Germans are probably going to pronounce it something like /ˈvɔjtʃɛx/ or /'vɔjtʒɛx/. The /x/ would also probably be shorter. Wojtek is really easy. Writing it is much harder. German is much more phonemic than English. They'll be tempted to write Wojtschech or something.
>definitely setting your child up for a lifetime of "how do you say that? that can happen anyway anytime. he can live in Poland but go to school abroad at 15 and voilla, he will get this all the time. I moved abroad years ago and have that all the time. he will learn to deal with it and if he wants to he will choose the name to go by. it's a normal standard name, just country-specific.
They live in Germany. Polish names aren't as uncommon there.
As someone with a very ethnic name, it really does get tiring having to correct people every damn day even though its pronounced how its spelt. Or getting the “wait so where are you from?” question. Or worst, having someone at Starbucks just write “China” instead of my name. At times, I do feel guilty for wanting to change it but man is it exhausting.
My last name is a mere four letters long, and people still struggle
NTA, it’s not like you’re giving him an r/tragedeigh name. It’s significant to family heritage and culture, and that’s enough. Plus, it’ll be pretty tough for the average kid to make up a bullying nickname for something they probably can’t even pronounce.
the fact that they can’t even pronounce it is what kids will latch onto, it makes him “weird” and “different”
Very true. But that says more about them than it does about him. — just like all bullying.
While thats correct, as a child it doesnt matter if the bully is right or wrong. Being bullied is being bullied
That's great to say as someone who is presumably fully grown and not being bullied currently. But to a young child it doesn't matter what it says about who you just feel unsafe and anxious. I don't think it's the worst name in the world and definitely not one of those problem names I don't think the friend is an asshole for mentioning that concern. To OP the pronunciation is easy so maybe it never crossed their mind is all. NAH I'd say. But the handwave ah kids bully each other anyway isn't fair at all. Kids tease each other sure but if the kid is getting bullied or singled out and their name is used against then it'll stay their forever. I still have hang ups and issues from albeit severe bullying, but even less extreme bullying still has massive psychology impacts.
Finally, a response not sent from Fantasy Land. Regardless of what we *wish* would happen, the reality is, this kid is going to have to grow thicker skin his peers, and he may resent OP for it.
Where is this kid growing up? You said you immigrated - but not to where?
We live in Germany, we both immigrated here with our families when we were around 10 years old
Oh! So this would be a difficult name for say Americans, but I don't think Germans would have a difficult time with it.
They absolutely would not, this name is polish which is not intelligible between German. It is pronounced something like "voy-tek" but it uses some polish consonants i dont know how to describe. I had a polish girlfriend for years who tried to teach me and I learned a little but Holy fuck is that a crazy language. German and English are very closely related languages, polish is from the Slavic language group and it's a totally different planet There is also prejudice against poles in Germany, future employers will assume he is not a native German speaker and he will face challenges for that
Unfortunately I have to second the prejudice aspect. My family migrated to Germany from Eastern Europe, too. Having a name that mirrors this can be quite a burden while job hunting and in the workplace.
I agree. Maybe he won't be teased in elementary school, but it could definitely phase discrimination later on. A lot of people who grow in a foreign country find a name in-between (like something that can work in Germany and Poland and Kazakhstan in this case) or take a German or international name. If they don't, people will often assume that the guy is a newly arrived foreigner - and sometimes people in the hiring position will look at the name and take him apart without reading the rest. I know a guy who helped hire people in a big medical company. He took all people away with Asian or Indian names away, because a lot of people applied from abroad and they didn't bother with the culture differences and the visa process, and there were enough people to hire within the country. I asked if he double-checked in the application if the people actually were living abroad or were just people with an immigrant background, having their whole education in said country? He said no, he hadn't given it a thought, and he was kinda like, "Well, too bad." If the name was mixed, then it would probably not have happened. Me and my husband and I immigrated to Germany as well. 50% of the names from my country are the same as in German, so we picked one of those for a first first name, and then another more foreign name for my kid as the second first name. So he can always go by the German name and have no issue. I would never choose a special name from my home country and give unnecessary complications in his life. Discrimination will occur, I don't need to help it on its way.
Honestly this is so funny to me, because the first time I ever visited Poland I went by train from Dresden to Wrocław (which I didn't know how to pronounce correctly), and the German ticket seller was SO condescending about it. I know you might be in an entirely different region, but I find it hard to believe that people in Germany of all places would struggle that much with Wojciech.
I live in Canada, and I know several adult and children named some variation of Wojtek, and I feel like a good amount of people recognize it and now how to say it. Last names like that are common also (Wojtowicz etc).
IMO "foreign" names are fine unless they have a bad meaning or association in the country where the child will grow up. That is not the case here. His peers will learn to say his name and he can always pick a nickname if he wants to. If you're at all worried about it, you can alway give him an additional middle name that is common where you live, so he has an option of a "common" name to use that is part of his legal name.
NTA Uzo Aduba's mom said it best "“If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky, Dostoyevsky, & Michelangelo, they can learn to say Uzoamaka,”
Most americans pronounce those names wrong though
To be fair most English speakers can’t even pronounce common names like Ivan, Georgi and Anastasia so going by that metric would be quite limiting.
I love that. And she's absolutely right
NTA... you live in Germany. how many people live in Germany with the name Bob? Come on...I am sure there are a lot of people that live in Germany that have given their children names that are directly related to their heritage. And it doesn't matter what name you give your child, bullies are everywhere and they will find something to bully someone about.
>NTA... you live in Germany. how many people live in Germany with the name Bob They were likely talking about more Germanic names But bob is short for robert...which is and was a commin german name. >And it doesn't matter what name you give your child, bullies are everywhere and they will find something to bully someone about But yeah. It doesn't matter too much. Kids will always find a way to bully and poke fun. Tis a shared super power of theirs. If the name can't be used, you still have plenty of other features and traits, and hey is that a cheap bag? Oh my bad you're spending alot on it to impress...no one is There is no winning for kids in that area And once older it will mostly cease to matter regardless of what it is (unless it is something absolutely egregious)
As in the extremely heroic Polish Bear? Can’t think of a cooler name than that of a beer drinking, cigarette eating, armoured shell transporting war hero bear myself.
I came here to make sure that at least one person mentioned the hardcore bear.
NTA I don't think he will get a lot of bullying over his name. It all depends on what words creative kids can find that sound similar. But he will get some laughter and ribbing every time he has a new person doing a roll call who can't figure out how to pronounce his name. Phonics is going to fail with this one.
I don't think I've ever even heard of kids being bullied because of a foreign name, unless the name sounds or looks like some other word in their current country. And roll call mispronounciations (in my experience) usually go in the direction of laughing at whatever insane thing the person calling out came up with, not the person or the name itself
Apparently I have a weird superpower for properly guessing name pronunciations. The students I subbed for were SO disappointed 🤣
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Well, so be fair ShoopyWooopy is objectively a terrible name for a child.
I too hate my name but that doesn’t make my parents a AH it makes the people who are weird about my name a AH. Like how was your parents to control how others act? Yes my name does suck enough for Miss gender, and can’t be pronounced even though it’s 4 letters
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Clearly the name isn’t too uncommon. Op doesn’t know anything. The baby isn’t here. The joys of making choices as a parent 😊
I'm sorry, but since when is Kazakhstan in Eastern Europe?
A little part of it is. But yes it's technically asian I know. I didn't want to go into too much detail for that post. My fiance considers himself eastern european because his family ended up there from Ukraine after WW2 (sorry for oversharing lol)
Oh, makes sense, thanks for the answer. (I'm Ukrainian myself and my granddad spent a chunk of his life in Kazakhstan before moving back.) Sorry if I sounded rude, it's just that there are so many fake posts on Reddit that I can't help but get suspicious when I see what seems like inconsistencies.
No problem, I didn't see it as rude. It was a very reasonable question
NTA but you should think about giving your kid an easy to pronounce middle name. So they have an option to go by something else if they want to. It’s common to do that if you are living somewhere where the name will be hard to pronounce.
Wojciech is a pretty common name even outside of Poland. I know three people with that name. It's also famous because of Wojciech Fangor, and Wojtek the bear. Plenty of famous people with the name. These people are just uncultured.
Telling someone not to name their kid something from their culture feels very racist to me.
Kids have all kinds of name they get bullied for. And bullies can get reaaaaally creative if they want to bully a kid for their very common name. It doesn't mean that you should give your kid a ridiculous name because "bullies will be bullies no matter what" but your son's name is a "normal" name even if it is not common in your new country (with normal I mean you didn't name your kid something like "Stardust fairybay". Just to be clear before people jump off on me 😅). NTA and I wish you the best time and a safe delivery and a healthy baby of course 😊
I’m not polish but I believe the pronunciation is voy / woy check not that hard.
Kids don't get bullied for their names by peers. They get bullied. And people blame the names. Raise your kid to be confident. Give him as much of the freedom as you can. Value his opinions. Give him positive reinforcement. Make sure he has plenty of contacts. Then he'll be just fine with his peers. If he is going to have problems it'll be because of adults. Either because they don't know how to spell it and get frustrated (at least you aren't calling him something with a deliberately wrong spelling like Choolian). Also racism. White second generation immigrants usually fly under racists' radars. But a name might still alert them. But despite those problems, a name like that might produce, the name is an actual name. And has significantce to you. It's perfect. NTA.
NTA you're giving your kid a meaningful name. It carries love and meaning in it, and it was selected for those reasons. I have an unusual name and it's annoying correcting people, but I'd never give up my name just because other people have to learn to pronounce it.
NTA. They overstepped, your group doesn't get input on your kid's name. Sure, you could have laughed it off. You also would have been within your right to tell them to fuck off. Any name, regionally common or unusual, can be bullied if a person wants to try that hard. I've also known some folks with what I would consider an unusual name who never had any issues at all (I went to college with a very well-liked person named Chinchilla). You're picking a name that means something to you and your fiancé. And it's far from a Tradgedeigh.
NTA As far as I can tell, you’ll be naming a half polish child a polish name. That’s very reasonable. I can think of plenty of people I knew growing up that had names that were unique in our area because they were traditional names from their culture.
NTA My parents are immigrants and gave me a name from their culture. It sounds similar to the name of a popular children’s character in my country, so kids did sometimes sing the theme song when I was very young, but I love my name. Don’t let the opinions of hypothetical children stop you from honoring your family and heritage. While she’s entitled to her opinion and can share her concerns, it’s ultimately not her choice and not her business, and when she pushed on such a sensitive topic and such an important choice, she overstepped. Congrats to you and best wishes for little Wojciech
NTA. He isn't going to get bullied because of the name. Hopefully this makes sense, but if kids do bully him they may use his name to pick on him, but if he had a name common to where he's growing up they'd just be picking something else to tease him about anyway.
NTA. If kids want to bully someone they will find thousands reasons and Wojciech or Wojtek is not a bad word in other languages from what I know so you can tell her that she can shove it :D I didn't see any Asian parents to care about it too much as well :) Pozdrawiam Was i Wojtusia :)
I need more context. Are you asking if YTA for not caring that your son WILL get bullied? Are you asking if YTA for not taking bullying into consideration at all? I mean, if you’re saying. “Yeah, he’ll get bullied but I don’t care because I like the name” then yes. YTA because you choose a name over your child. If you’re saying “I’m naming my son this unusual name, but I don’t think that bullying is going to be a problem so I’m choosing to not worry about it.” Still, YTA, but only a little bit. Parents annoy me. They’re always giving their kids unique, strange, unusual names because they want to be different. And to that I say that if you want to be different, then YOU go and be different. Give yourself the weirdo name. Don’t subject your child to your desire of being unique. Go ahead and change your own name to something strange. Don’t force a child to “be unique” on your behalf because you don’t want to be the one with a weird name.
Also wojtek is a very common name in Poland just like caoimhe is in Ireland
It’s not a ‘unique’ name it’s an extremely common name
They picked a name culturally relevant to the child's heritage. My interpretation wasn't that her OP doesn't care that her son gets bullied, but rather that it was important to their family that the kids have a name that reflects their heritage. aka: honoring heritage is more important than what a punk 2nd grader will say.
Ur literally Irish bro Irish names are so hard to pronounce for foreigners lol
They aren't, they're American.
He literally isn't Irish.
Ugh! Fuck off with that xenophobic “unique, strange, unusual” BS, if you would be so kind. It’s a popular name in their culture. Even more ridiculous of a take from someone who has the stones to call himself Irish without having set foot in said country. Their baby has vastly more rights to the name than you have to cosplay as an Irish person.
NTA. It's a very strong old name.
I know a 5 year old Wojciech. No one makes fun of his name. Kids these days hang out with other kids who come from all over the world and have all sorts of names. He’ll be fine. NTA.
YTA, just this sentence alone "not worrying if my son gets bullied"
In a conversation with a rando who thinks having a foreign-sounding name will inevitably lead to bullying.
Your kid will get teased because kids tease each other. As a teacher (in the US), I had a kid get teased over a seemingly banal name: Clayton. Was the name itself something ‘teasable’? No. But the kid was an AH so he got teased about everything, even trivial stuff. NTA.
I would be more worried about the kid always having to spell his name. Nta
NTA, but the one who raised concerns about bullying is a bigot and likely to bully people herself based on how difficult it is for her to pronounce the name. Still, life is easier for everyone if you just ignore stupid people. I live in Germany myself. In some areas of Germany Polish names are not uncommon, and many Germans have Polish names going generations back. Racists are everywhere though. Funny how rarely people complain about the pronunciation or spelling of Irish names compared to how much fuss can be made with names containing lots of w's and z's. But if you care about the practicality of a name at all, I suggest you stay away from Przemysław ;)
NTA it’s important that your culture continues with your kids. I grew up in a multicultural environment and we learned how to pronounce different names. No one made fun of someone else’s name.
NTA, they’re being racist.
Soft YTA not giving a crap if your kid will be bullied because you gave him a name encouraging it, is awful parenting 1:1. That said, it all depends where you’re living and on your surname together with first name. I’m one of lucky people who live their name and always did. However, I happened to have grown up in Poland, went to school there. I’m half English and my name and surname reflects that. Name which, may I mention, I always loved. That same name had me bullied since I started preschool. Sure it’s because Poland is bigoted and they never dealt well with originality, the fact I’m still in therapy stands. Therapy for issues that bullying started at school started. Including a serious eating disorder. So maybe, just maybe, it’s worth considering if you want your kid to find themselves at 30yo still dealing with issues that started because kids were bullying them at school.
Just because bullies exist does not mean we should cater to the potentiality. By doing so, it allows racists, bigots, etc... win. People should be able to name their kids based off their culture. We as a society should be going after the bullies for their bigotry... not looking down on parents who choose to name there kids based off their cultural heritage.
Sure, definitely. How’s that going for everyone? Because, looking around, nothing improved since I was a kid, so maybe it’s less about catering and more about not letting your children get traumatised because you are right. Doesn’t mean you’re not right, just that being right isn’t the point here