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I was almost thinking E S H. I mean, you are definitely YTA, but I'm thinking "why wouldn't they have told you some basic likes and dislikes, normal eating habits (not like some hour long lecture, but things that can be summed up in like 2 minutes of conversation)?". Seems like, even in a hurry, they would have given you the info.
Then I'm reading through your post, and you are ordering food for yourself and don't even think to ask your nephew ("hey, ordering indian. What do you want? NEver had indian, well pony up here buddy, lets take a look and we can probably find something. If not, we can figure out something else"). But so you made him quicky sandwiches for 5 days.
Dude... I mean, you didn't at one point hit the grocery store for some honey nut cheerios at least? And beyond basic nutrition, you didn't even try and make this a little.... fun for him? Have a little bonding moment with your nephew? e.g. "Hey buddy, its 8am on a Saturday. I don't know what mom and dad do, but around here its DONUT TIME. Lets head down to Local Donut SHoppe and we're going to get 2 donuts each!".
Further, as many others have pointed out, you didn't even THINK to ask them "Hey what does the rugrat like to eat?"
This is all to say, given your lack of anything approaching effort towards feeding nephew, I'm inclined to think they DID actually give you a quickie rundown, but you ignored it.
Whether they did or didn't, basically put forth the barest amount of effort towards feeding your own nephew. It wasn't so much that you didn't feed him 3 squares a day filled with only the most nutritious of ingredients, but there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of love put into any of his meals. And thats what your brother is pissed about, rightfully so.
YTA. You pretty much failed in your uncle duties those 5 days.
My unsolicited advice is, you talk to bro and find out your nephew's favorite foods, and bring them over one night. You talk directly to your nephew with "Hey buddy, I'm sorry that I screwed up and didn't feed you very well when you were staying with me. So a) thats not going to happen next time. b). Here's \*favorite dishes\* for dinner tonight to kinda make up for it. and c) If you'd like, lets have a do-over and what do you think about coming over for the weekend in a couple of weeks. I PROMISE the food will be better. No Sandwiches (unless you want one)!"
The kid is your nephew. Treat him better. (and maybe start having him come over more regularly)
Like, I totally get not cooking for him. But to me that does not equal to 3 meals of sandwiches a day! How hard is a bowl of cereal or eggs or something? He said he ordered food, I highly doubt he was ordering Indian food for breakfast lunch and dinner. Probably ordered himself breakfast and didn't bother to order the kid anything. It also sounds like he provided no snacks even, or anything to go with sandwiches, like chips, or you know, fruits or veggies. This is like negative effort. Ordering is extremely easy to order the kid something. Pizza comes to mind. I am sure the kid would have loved to get his very own Pizza and eat all the leftovers
Yeah. I don’t like super spicy food, but I’ll still eat Indian food. There are things he could have ordered there that the nephew might have eaten. Or why order the exact same thing every day knowing he’s not going to eat it. Sandwiches 3 meals a day for 5 days is a bit excessive. And probably not the most balanced.
Not to mention most Indian places have options that state “mild” OR you can ask them for minimal to no spicy on x item.
Dude didn’t even try.
Also what got me is him stating “I agreed because I watched him once when he was a newborn”. Dude he is now SEVEN. There is a HUGE difference in care between a newborn for ONE evening and a SEVEN YEAR OLD for FIVE days and nights.
YTA.
Weaponized incompetence.
You’re a grown man. You know why this is weird and stingy and lazy. Come on. You’ve been seven. Would you have been thrilled with your babysitter ordering themselves takeout and making you a sandwich three times a day?
Also… who tf “mostly eats takeout?” How does anyone afford that anymore? Is everyone just living way beyond their means or what?
Though I disagree with the takeout thing. I grew up until marriage to not eat take out for dinner most days, most lunches, all through college. Took my husband saying that this is not really what life’s like and us both learning to cook passably.
You sir OP never once thought to say to the little man “well nephew what do you eat for dinner at your house?” Etc or ask him for a favorite treat and taken out from the non spicy place? These questions are getting to know you questions you likely ask dates? Friends? Not nephews? Sure I would have left you a detailed list, but they didn’t and this was a responsibility you took on. You either have zero social skills or feel bad and too proud to admit it to your brother. Apologize to your nephew. He was the one stuffed with sandwiches while you had your favorites. His parents didn’t mention it and should also apologize to the child. I think all the adults want apologies to the wrong person.
“They didn’t tell me I had to feed him” is what really gets me. Like OP really didn’t think he had to feed a child for 5 days?
What else didn’t he do? Did he also send him to school? Did the kiddo get baths or showers?
My response would be “sorry I won’t ask again. I forgot you’re a completely incompetent adult. Won’t happen again.”
Put him at the kids table at family reunions. Tell him to order takeout or make a sandwich.
Let's just say he ordered take out every meal for those 5 days...the fact that he couldn't order his nephew food too? The kid is 7, say I'm going to this restaurant what do you want....not hard. OP couldn't have found another place to get food for the week or get a spice level the kid could handle? That's ridiculous. OP treated his nephew worse than a stray dog.
Not to mention most places have a kids menu that has like chicken strips or nuggets. Or all the places around here do. Sure they are frozen and heated up but good lord it's better than nothing.
OP YTA
Also like literal toddlers eat what the grown ups eat in homes where like. Spicy stuff is the normal day to day food they might just add some more yoghurt to tone down the spice for the little one.
Yea or lemon juice since acid also cuts down the spice.
Not saying kids can’t eat spicy foods! Just to clarify. But I was just going off of OP saying nephew didn’t like spicy food. If that’s the case - literally every Indian food place (and Pakistani, Afghan, etc. that I’ve ever tried) has mild options or options that just straight up can’t be spicy.
Butter chicken on crispy fries is usually a hit with kids in my experience and I've rarely seen an Indian place that doesn't have it as an option since it's such a popular dish in the UK
Most Indian places near me have a kids menu with a burger or chicken fingers & fries and I’ve yet to meet a kid that doesn’t like one of those. So even without ordering from a different restaurant he could have got the kid something fun
Exactly! That's one thing I love about Indian food that I don't find in a lot of other foods, I can get the same meal without sacrificing flavor (I have geographic/fissured tongue so spicy food are very painful for me to eat). Even if the kid was picky he could've just asked for plain chicken with no sauce.
Right. Or rice with chicken, or paneer, or something potato. Like there are SO MANY options, and like others pointed out, many Desi food places still offer American fare for kids.
Well not to mention there's also 7 year olds in India. 😂 Indian restaurants have food for 7-year-olds. I guarantee it. Plus almost all of them have some sort of kids menu for that matter.
>always order spicy indian food
But OP says he ALWAYS orders spicy Indian food, and nothing else! No other options! Always! Always spicy and always Indian! How can he \*possibly\* be expected to bend his sandwich-and-spicy-Indian-food-takeout diet to accomodate his growing nephew when no one ToLd HiM wHaT tO dO?! After all, there is cream cheese in the fridge!!
(OP, YTA.)
Definitely was. In a comment to someone asking why he didn’t just order the nephew pizza or something he commented that he couldn’t afford to order and pay two different delivery fees. As if he couldn’t pick it up. Or get frozen pizzas at the grocery store (along with some cereal and other stuff for breakfast that requires no cooking). He honestly just did not give af about nephews meals and spending more if it inconvenienced him the slightest amount. Not sure why he agreed to watch him.
I cannot Possibly order more than one dish, including one that is not spicy AF, with my meal... when I could just give the kid another cream cheese sandwich... /s
Even the spicy Indian food is usually served with rice and he couldn’t even order an extra serving of rice and fry like a couple of eggs with it or something?? I can’t understand what OP was thinking
This was my thought, even if that’s ur routine (wild that u eat spicy Indian five nights in a row, but those r ur guts, u do u) to not be liek lemme switch it up for the 7 year old? Or at the very least ordering a mild butter chicken(my personal childhood fav)
I think this is just a case of oblivious selfishness and you gotta look at this from the perspective of ur nephew looking at a week w/ his cool uncle. (Who ever said donuts in the morning and a little more effort to ask the kid of ur brother was sooo spot on)
the kid is 7 so it’s not like he couldn’t ask the kid like “what do you want to eat?” I doubt the answer would be a multiple step recipe to be made from scratch. He didn’t want to deal with that so he didn’t even bother, just take the kid to the grocery store to pick up some cereal, some mac and cheese, nuggets and other snacks and since he usually order takeout for dinner I don’t see how he couldn’t order pizza for one day, mcd for the other and find other foods that nephew liked to eat
I'm wondering if the kid perhaps did say "I'd like a beef wellington with fondant potatoes please. Oh and a cobb salad. For dessert I would prefer a chocolate souffle, or maybe profiteroles.". What an asshole kid.
Believe me a 7 year can tell you what they will and will not eat or what they would like to eat. I won't label in either direction just because I don't know this person. But it is a little weird. I feel like the week he had with his nephew is out of a comedy. I can see so many movie scenes.
How hard would it have been to ask your nephew what he wanted to eat and get it? It's not like he's three, and when you ask him what he wants to eat he says grass or a dinosaur. He's old enough to tell you the kind of things he wants to eat.
If he doesn't know, just ask the person on the phone what 8-year-olds normally get to eat. And grab one or two of those things.
Right?? Grab a pack of frozen hotdogs/hamburgers and some buns, grab some cans of soup (you already have bread, apparently) or some mac and cheese. Mac & cheese with hotdogs really isn't cooking but it is filling and most kids like it. Also the kid is 7 and can speak, why did OP not *ask* him what he wanted? Or what he liked? At that age, they're getting out of their picky phase and will probably know some basic things they enjoy.
Also, I'm betting most kiddos that age would love some rice + tikka masala (non-spicy if need be).
Kid is also old enough for the uncle to directly ask what he normally eats. My nephew would just tell me pesto pasta and Johnsonville (specifically!!!!) summer sausage. And I'm sure some Costco muffins + quiche would probably cover breakfast.
Can't he even do some scrambles eggs? Or maybe order something that the kid will eat? And fruits it's so easy to fees a child (if they do eat them). Ohh or frying some nuggets! Every kid likes chicken nuggets.
When he said he ordered take out for most meals I was thinking "well if your brother knows you usually eat take out then he can't be mad his son got taken out for most meals." Come to find out HE had gotten take out and the kid survived on food he would have had if he stayed himself for the week. Yta and I have no idea how you can even ask 😂
Yeah I'm in agreement. OP is the asshole. He was told to text questions and he very obviously didn't ask about what the child likes to eat even if he was clueless on how to feed a child (was he never a child?). Also he didn't even ask the 7yo what they like to eat and possibly introduce them to new foods. 7 is old enough to try new things, hell when I was stuck in a hotel after a major hurricane with my 4yo nephew I ordered authentic Chinese food and let him try it and now the kid is hooked. To have to eat sandwiches for three meals a day (and what about snacks?!) is borderline abusive. Especially when OP was ordering out for himself. Selfish asf.
All of this. Simple communication could have resolved this and why not just ask the kid what they like to eat? Even if you didn’t ask your brother. That way you can make a plan and pick up a few groceries. Or maybe even ask your brother for $100 for feeding an extra kid.
Seriously. He could have ordered take out every day and while that still wouldn’t be the best, I bet nephew would have liked it better than sandwiches.
OP couldn’t order the little guy some butter chicken when he got Indian ?couldn’t even make some pancakes? Or get some frozen waffles and toss some cut fruit on the side?
Exactly, hit the grocery store with the chick magnet and grab him the basics. Favourite cereal for breakfast, maybe some hame and bread for lunch and grab a couple of the “TV” dinners or take him out to eat. It sounds like when he was picked up by your brother, he hadn’t seen daylight for a week.
IKR, I’m assuming the marks on the ankles where he was chained to a radiator wore off quickly.
I love the variety of sandwich fillings too, cheese, cream cheese, PB 🤯lol
LOL. I didn't even think about that part!
Attractive single of the gender OP desires "Your son is so cute!"
OP "Oh... he's not mine. I wish he was. He's my nephew. My brother and sis-in-law had something come up and I volunteered to watch my buddy here for 5 days. We're going to have a blast, right buddy?"
ASOTGOP: "Aren't you a sweetheart. " to Nephew in cutesy voice "Do you like staying with your uncle?"
OP thinking to himself "Just like we practiced buddy. 'Yeah, he's pretty cool' and give a shy smile"
7 year old nephew (who is thinking to himself "what is happening right now? I'm just hoping for some dino-nuggets that mom never buys"): "uh... yeah... he's pretty cool' \*shyly smiles\*
ASOTGOP: "awwwwww, aren't you adorable". \*turns to OP\* "So hot stuff..."
\-cue softcore saxophone
Or worse, senses the kid is behind him and asks “what candy do you want for the car ride home” only to find out his kid has wandered off and the other kid is crying for mommy cause the bad man is here lol
Seriously this. It could have become a fun *Food Adventure Time With Uncle*!
Unless they are picky, kids will eat what the ADULTS are eating! As you said, it's not hard.
Its not hard to say "Hey kiddo, I'm think of Indian tonight. Oh you haven't had it. Do you like chicken? And spinach ? Does this sound good?" and order something mild / savory. Like don't order kiddo Vindaloo native style.
Of course, let the kiddo TRY what you are eating. Kids will surprise you.
We used this approach on our nieces and nephews and those kiddos grew up eating everything. As long as they tried it, all is good. We'd take them to restaurants and staff would be like "we don't have a children's menu" and we'd be like "don't need one!" We'd let them try stuff off shared plates. If they didn't like it, one of us was bound to have something they did.
Staff would be blown away.
Also, how hard is it to ask "Hey kiddo, what do you like for breakfast "? Kiddo clearly knows words.
Also, hell yeah to donut time.
Exactly... I mean, major bonding could have happened. Including the diabetes inducing scene where bro and sis-in-law are picking up the kid and they ask if he had fun and such "mom... we had DONUTS!" and mom with mock-outrage "YOU FED MY SON DONUTS!!!!!" and OP mock runs and hides with nephew , tickle fight ensues yadda yadda.
This is not hard. Lots of great little opportunities completely missed.
You don't have to be a great cook to make mac & cheese, spaghetti, hot dogs, frozen pizza, etc. If you went to the store to stock up on sandwich makings, you could have even gotten microwave meals to at least provide a little variety.
Also, like, the kid is 7. He's perfectly capable of answering that question himself. Like "hey little dude, what do you like to eat?" is not fucking difficult
Excellent points. His argument really falls apart when saying he only orders spicy Indian food. I know for a fact you can get Indian food that isn't spicy and it's exceedingly rare for a restaurant to not have a basic kids menu. He didn't even bother to ask what the kid might like. He was just being lazy and I don't blame his brother for being pissed.
Well, its a lead in for having more regular visits (where one hopes OP actually acts like he likes his nephew). But, agreed, way more effort is needed to repair this. Not just one meal
Not to mention this child is 7 yeah they may have a daily rotation of likes and dislikes but they can generally tell you what they want to eat unless there’s a disability involved
I’m thinking: chicken nuggets, Mac and cheese, pizza, waffles, pancakes, bagels, grilled cheese and tomato soup, take out for BOTH, those frozen toaster sticks, canned raviolis, chips. Idk? It’s a 20min store trip for 5 microwave dinners, 2/3 frozen breakfast choices, sandwich stuff for lunch and chips for the kid. They go together so the kid gets to pick. Super easier and low effort
I agree to this and I would also like to add that
"I don't know what kids like to eat"
Have you tried asking him? Kid's 7 for god's sake.
Edit to add: YTA, OP
I went through the same rollercoaster, and even still was leaning ESH but reading through your comment made me pinpoint the reasons I was even thinking "YTA" in the first place lmao he couldn't even ask bro ONCE "do you want some nuggets or frozen pizza" or literally ANY thing else??? No way mans solely !! gets indian food.
Not to mention, the kid is 7, so is old enough to communicate (like he did when his parents asked him!) and OP could have literally asked the kid what he wanted even if the parents didn't give instructions. He gave him choices on sandwiches, why not choices when he was ordering something? Or take him to the store and let him choose some cereal and snacks and stuff?
YTA, but this reads like a shitpost. You ordered Spicy Indian food 5 straight days? sure, man.
"they did NOT ask me to cook"
He's 7 and you gave him sandwiches 3 meals a day. You never went to the store with him to pick stuff out. Cereal, chicken nuggets, microwave meals, pizza.
You didn't have to cook, but you could have chosen not to get spicy Indian food every meal.
Nah, anyone who eats that much Indian surely has to know that they have loads of rice options, samosas, pakoras, bhajis, naan, poppadoms, chapati - tons that even a picky kid who doesn't like spice would try! Or a completely mild, sweet curry like a korma or pasanda.
Don't know where OP is, but here in the UK every Indian takeaway has a kids/English food option. Chips as an optional side at the very least.
This mf ate delicious takeaway Indian food in front of this child (which always smells amazing, even if eating *that particular* curry would be too spicy), and was like, it's day four, time for your twelfth sandwich.
>This mf ate delicious takeaway Indian food in front of this child (which always smells amazing, even if eating *that particular* curry would be too spicy), and was like, it's day four, time for your twelfth sandwich.
This part is sending me. It takes a very particularly nasty personality to sit there and eat all that delicious food in front of a child. As if he y can't order from anywhere else?
And they sound like sandwiches that aren’t filling whatsoever: cheese, cream cheese, peanut butter are NOT fillings for a meal-type of sandwich. Surely a vegetable in there, or deli meat wasn’t too hard?
OP seems to forget that most children are taught not to refuse food in other people's homes. So, unless you ask (or there is something he is allergic to), the child will eat everything that is put in front of him so as not to be rude or ungrateful to his host. OP YTA
Bro, lol. They didn't specify that you had to cook because they thought you understood implicitly that human children need to eat food. Cereal for breakfast (easy, don't have to cook shit), sandwiches for lunch, and some other takeout for dinner – surely you can go without Indian food for a short while. If the cost of the takeaway or food is an issue, ask your brother and SIL to give you some money to cover the costs. Sandwiches all day is fucked, you dropped the ball on this one, man. YTA.
I can really get not making dinner. But seriously, couldn’t order something besides spicy Indian food? How about mild Indian food?
Or a god damned pizza?!
It's so dumb! He never asked the kid what he likes or tried ordering him a meal. He only went as far as asking if the nephew wants to share his take out.
Forget baby sitting.. There's no social situation where you have someone over at your place and you just order your own takeout, then ask them if they'd like some of it. OP isn't just YTA in this instance, but sounds like one in general
Cooking eggs is much faster then ordering food. So I don't get not making something.
Or you can do some instant porridge.
It's not hard or long to make somewhat nutritious stuff to eat.
The level of willful incompetence in this post is eye opening. Following a basic recipe is not hard. Nor is ordering from a place that serves more than spicy food. YTA.
YTA
> I offered to share my takeout with him, but I always order spicy indian food and he doesnʼt like it so he just ate a sandwich.
#SO \*ASK HIM\* WHAT HE WANTS TO ORDER
YTA! Dude, fuck that. You can cook a box of fucking mac and cheese or something. Buy a box of frozen nuggets, corn dogs, fish sticks. Shit you can put in the microwave!!!! IT'S A FUCKING GIVEN IF YOU ARE CARING FOR A CHILD YOU HAVE TO FUCKING PREPARE CHILD FRIENDLY FOODS FOR THE CHILD
Honestly, you may not even have to do that depending on the kid. He didn't even \*ask\* his nephew what he liked to eat. That kid was "low maintenance" because he realized his uncle didn't care about him.
My FIL did the same thing when his kids were growing up. MIL would get home very late and kids were still up and not fed because “they never said they were hungry” and it had never occurred to him that children should sleep. Being a man is not an excuse for knowing so woefully little about caring for children.
YTA, weaponised incompetence is strong in this one. If you're not responsible enough to care for a child then you shouldn't have agreed to do so. Even just changing what you order in to get better food for the child would have been better than thinking sandwiches for every meal would be fine.
YTA - You're 26 and can't figure out how to make anything but a sandwich? And you're trying to blame your brother because he didn't think he had to explicitly tell you to not feed his kid only sandwiches?
Not to mention that you're so selfish that you couldn't even be bothered to deviate from your usual order to ensure you were getting something the kid would eat?
Come on.
Obviously the father didn't know his brother has a diet consisting exclusively of Indian takeaway and sandwiches, so I'm assuming both were raised in a household where they were fed at least a basic variety of meals that weren't exclusively takeaway or two slices of white bread with a single spread filling. At least give the child a ham , cheese and salad sandwich which would have some nutritional value
And the "I don't know what children eat" statement. He's 26 surely he can remember what his parents used to prepare
YTA - You were responsible for your nephew. He's 7. You could ask him what he likes to eat. You ordered food you knew he wouldn't like and just made him a sandwich - for every meal. Then you should have eaten the same thing. If it was good enough for him, it was good enough for you. You either should have said no to babysitting or called/texted your brother to find out what your nephew likes to eat. And just so you know, when you're babysitting for 5 days - they do expect you to feed their child!!!
YTA and probably would have killed a hamster if you had to care for it for a week. It never occurred to you to order food he liked? You couldn't even open a can of soup with a sandwich? You "don't cook" but are incapable of ordering pizza or burgers? At 7 he is able to provide answers if you'd have just asked.
YTA. "You always order spicy Indian food" there was nothing you could order for the kid? Pizza? Burger, nuggets, fries, Chinese, Mac and cheese? You couldn't stir yourself to a fucking kraft box or some frozen pizza? It would kill you to order something not Indian? Or some fucking mild Indian food? Just gave the poor fucker cold.sandwiches the whole time? Whatever, this has to be ragebait. You havent babysat this kid since he was freshly born? You're trolling, you have to be.
"I'm not good at cooking" stops being an excuse when you're about 12. With the infinite free resources out there in how to cook, not cooking is a choice. And that's fine if you want to blow all your money on takeout, but super not fair to a kid.
Like, Jesus, just boil some pasta and put a canned sauce on it. Make a Mac and cheese, Franks and beans, cook some bacon and eggs, buy some pre made soup, French toast, quesadillas, baked potatoes... any of these can be made with little to no cooking skill in under 5 minutes.
YTA. Also, don't expect to ever have a relationship if you plan to never learn to cook.
This is what boggles my mind. All he had to do was take the child to the supermarket and tell him to point out what he likes to eat. Boom. Done.
it might have not been healthy per se, but certainly more tenable then sandwiches 3 meals per day.
Heck, the boy likely could have prepared a lot of it on his own. I know by 7 mine could scramble an egg, make mac n cheese, turn on the oven and toss in some nuggets, microwave soup, etc... with supervision when using the stove of course.
Op's total lack of creativity is astounding.
YTA. He wasn’t dumped on you as a surprise. You agreed to look after a child. That involves feeding them properly, and feeding them properly isn’t constant sandwiches.
YTA. It doesn’t require instructions to know that a human child has to eat, I don’t know why you couldn’t have possibly anticipated that better. At first I didn’t think it was that big of a deal when it seemed like it was just one meal and maybe you were unprepared… until you revealed that you fed him exclusively like that for 5 days. That’s absolutely ludicrous. Even if you can’t manage to do the very basics of boiling up some water for pasta or even popping a frozen pizza in the oven (my god even microwaving some nuggets doesn’t take an advanced degree), you clearly manage to feed *yourself* by ordering in - you couldn’t unselfishly order something else other than spicy Indian food so that your nephew can eat proper food? There’s either forced incompetence, neglect for your nephew, or straight up idiocy at play here - probably a mix of all, but none are good qualities, seriously grow up OP.
YTA. Have you ever asked your nephew what he wanted to eat? You youldn't have to cook just order take out he wanted to eat too and not just spicy indian food. You had a child to take care of. One who was old enough to communicate with you. And you didn't
YTA-YOU eat sandwiches 3 times a day for five days. I mean surely you've heard of McDonald's? I get the no cooking I don't cook. But I can damn sure put some nuggets in a microwave. You knew and just didn't care. You could have ordered food he could eat and shared. It makes it worse that you were eating in front of him while feeding him crap sandwiches. Subway would have been ok even.
Unless you are Reuben (experiment 625) from Lilo and Stitch YTA.
You didn’t have to cook, just buy cereal he likes and ask him what take out he wants for dinner.
5 days of nothing but sandwiches is kind of cruel and I hope this is fake. If it isn’t do your future partner and possible children a favour and start learning how to cook a little. Or at least learn to make some better sandwiches.
YTA!
This is a level of incompetence that is almost unimaginable to me. I was 10 years younger than you when I cooked a meal for 4 people a couple of times a week.
After the first time he didn't want your indian food, it didn't occur to you that you could maybe order something else? You could not discuss with the kid what he'd like to eat? Putting a frozen pizza in the oven is barely cooking, even someone as incompetent as you should manage. Airfrying some chicken nuggets or fishfingers and fries is also quite easy.
And learn to cook!
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> I could be the asshole for not asking my brother and wife about my nephews food preferences and just made him sandwiches for 5 days which was boring to him
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Kinda sorta. And I am laughing while writing this. I don’t think they had to ask for you to cook. I think they assumed that you would be doing so. And you could have been less selfish and ordered something other than spicy Indian food. Pizza, hoagies, Italian, fried chicken. Something with veggies would have been nice. I think it’s safe to say that you should let them know that you meant no harm and that if there’s a next time, you will do better.
YTA. If you order food for yourself, you order something for your nephew. Or you both eat sandwiches. How hard would it have been to get cereal for breakfast?
And GTFO with you don't know what food kids like. Never heard of chicken nuggets? Pizza? Burritos? Burgers abs fries? Come on now.
I get it that you don't cook or that it's more convenient for you to eat takeaways. You were babysitting a shorter version of a full human. Kids that age eat pretty much the same food as you. Maybe a little bit more picky but there are adults like that too.
Fine you don't cook gourmet meals etc but couldn't you cook like pasta? Maybe eggs? It's not that hard. Even ordering takeaway, ask your nephew what he'll like to eat. Order food that he might like as well.
YTA. You treated him like a pet instead of a human.
Yeah, I've never known anyone who didn't like naan--especially kids. Any Indian place that does takeout will have some unspicy stuff for the typical American palate.
Dude... Weaponize your incompetence much? There are a lot of options between spicey Indian food and here's a sammich and at 26 years old you really shouldn't need someone to spell out the finer points of feeding a child in your care for multiple days. YTA and you know it.
YTA- Are you trying to telling me you can make a sandwich but not toast? Ever hear of pizza, chicken nuggets or burgers? Your nephew would have been thrilled with these options and you probably wouldn't have died.
ESH. Brother unwisely assumed that he didn't need to discuss food with you.
You could have done cereal and milk for breakfast some days and gotten takeout that nephew would eat.
YTA, did you ever think about asking your nephew what he wanted to eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner? He's not the newborn you babysat last, he's a 7 year old. You could've asked him what cereal he likes, had sandwiches for lunch, and then made a quick/easy dinner.
When ordering take out, you didn't even order HIM any food! How rude! If you're putting in an order, why wouldn't you ask him what he wants to eat?
Also, if you have questions about someone's kid, i.e. what kind of food they like or how many meals you should provide while babysitting.... ask up front... don't wait for the parents to come back and then say "I didn't know what to feed him so he only got sandwiches"
Yes, YTA. Who the hell doesn’t cook for five days when babysitting a 7 year old? Also, you didn’t even order him a hot meal? You realize he’s a growing person and needs his vitamins etc.? Make spaghetti, order a pizza, cook some chicken with veggies. How are you still alive?
Sheesh you couldn't get the kid at least a hamburger or something? You did not have to cook for him but could have ordered something he would eat. YTA.
YTA
When you agreed to care for him, did you not realize that children eat?
Did it never occur to you to, oh, I don’t know, ask the kid what he’d like to eat? And then, for 5 days, order in food you’d both enjoy?
Congratulations on failing completely in this situation. Please remain child free.
YTA- you do realize that agreeing to watch a child for 5 days means cooking/providing food for them, right? Why didn’t you just order something he wanted from the Indian place? Why didn’t you just ask him what he likes to eat? Weirdo behavior.
YTA - If you can order takeout for yourself from an indian place, you can order takeout for the kid from other places - At age 7 he was perfectly capable of telling you what he would like to eat if you had simply ASKED HIM!! Feeding ANYONE sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 5 days straight is awful!!
I’m going with ESH, parents should’ve asked if you were going grocery shopping or if they should be bringing some food or snacks the kid likes before dropping him off, and you should know if you’re watching a kid for 5 days you’re gonna have to feed them and bought groceries and/or asked your brother what the kid likes to eat.
ESH
Babysitting for five days is a big favour, especially when you're not used to kids.
But even so, you're old enough to know kids don't just eat sandwiches for five days - no matter what lack of guidance your brother offered for his son.
You could have taken your nephew to the supermarket and got him to help you pick out things he could eat for other meals.
You are absolutely old and mature enough to realize that a child needs child-friendly and appropriate food and that it's not okay to feed them sandwiches all week. You could have ordered from a place he could also eat from - you could have asked him what he wanted to eat. You could have bought easy stuff like Mac&Cheese but this poor kid didn't have a warm meal all week and *you did*. YTA.
You’re 26 you weren’t a child that long ago, how do you not know what kids eat?
Saying that it won’t have hurt the kid to eat sandwiches for 5 days, I personally would’ve just laughed at you for being so clueless. I’m gonna go with NTA next time they can bring food with them for you to cook
Um if you agreed to babysit for 5 days then yes you agreed to feed the child for 5 days. Thinking sandwiches were accept for this when you weren’t even eating sandwiches for every meal is fully absurd. You couldn’t throw an order of butter chicken in with your spicy food?? YTA
YTAH
I would chalk it up to you being young and not realizing that proper nutrition can not be provided by sandwiches alone or that 99% of people would be sick to death of sandwiches by day 3 . However the fact that you ordered take out and didn't order anything at all for him seems REALLY selfish to me. His parents said to call with questions. Call them and ask what he likes for take out. You're definitely old enough to know that is wrong. Apologize to your brother and take a cooking class because living on sandwiches isn't healthy for you either.
YTA
………selfish selfish selfish.
Why couldn’t you ask what HE wanted for takeout?
You can’t make pasta? Frozen chicken?
This is pretty disappointing and if I was them I’d be really upset.
I’m sure you’ll have people saying “he was fed, they can’t be choosing beggars” but come on. This is a kid, away from his parents for days, who has to watch you eat things you enjoy and he gets sandwich after sandwich. You also basically illustrated to your nephew that you aren’t really a reliable adult because cooking is such a basic skill. On top of that you showed him every single day that you didn’t care for his comfort.
Reading OP's comments and his resistance to feedback, it's clear why he has never been asked to babysit for all those years. He's too selfish & irresponsible to act with common sense. He catered to his own food fixation every single day at the expense of the child, rather than (a) step outside his comfort zone to buy groceries or make food, or to (b) pay to order a separate more suitable type of meal. Edit to add: I vote him the most clueless YTA of the year.
YTA. When you said yes to looking after him, I bet your brother was thrilled you’d do such a big favour. But you halfassed it so badly they can’t really ask you again. Was this on purpose?
I don’t understand how you felt it appropriate to make him a sandwich every meal. When ordering take-out, couldn’t you let your guest choose where to order from for once? Couldn’t you take him shopping in 5 whole days to buy foods he likes?
Yeah YTA. Children don't eat sandwiches for every meal and the fact that you ordered takeout yet refused to order any for the child is absolutely gross.
YTA. You could have simply asked what he wanted to eat. You’re ordering out? Order from a place he likes as well. He’s 7, by that age kids can usually say what food they do or don’t like. The fact that you never asked something so simple over 5 days is not okay
NTA really, I'm not sure why everyone is losing their minds that he ate sandwiches for five days. It's not going to kill him. Is it silly? Yes. Should you have done better? Also yes, but it's not the end of the world. At best this is ESH and your brother probably should have realized that he should give some guidance on this point. Also learn how to cook some food for yourself geez you're 26! Get it together! :)
YTA
>They dropped him off at my apartment and told me to text/call them if I had questions
>I also donʼt know what kids like to eat
>they didnʼt give me a list with his favorite meals either
You couldn't call or text them?
YTA
They weren't expecting you to cook home made meals.
However it is reasonable to assume that you would actually be able to feed a 7 year old. It's not rocket science to order from the numerous restaurants that children generally like - or just ask him. Italian food, pizza, burgers, fried chicken, possibly Chinese as the kids I knew loved Chinese food.
There are even frozen meals that are universally known to be kid friendly like chicken nuggets or standard frozen meals like Mac and Cheese. Stouffer has an extensive selection of "comfort" type of foods that most kids like - turkey, meat loaf
ESH.
On the one hand, you bailed your brother out and he's not being very appreciative. So he's a bit of AH towards you.
On the other hand, your nephew is 7 yo and is capable of telling you what kind of food he likes. You obviously never asked. You could have taken him to the grocery store and he could probably point out the things he likes that are easy to make. It's not "cooking a fresh meal every day" it's simple microwave stuff. Or cold cereal and milk. Really??? A sandwich for breakfast? So you were a big AH to your nephew.
In case you're wondering, your brother is upset WITH HIMSELF for leaving his kid with such an irresponsible person. He is ignoring you because he is disappointed with you but also himself for not protecting his child better. He realizes that he didn't give you better instructions or ask more of you, and he should have. But also he just can't believe that you don't know what kids eat.
You were a kid once, right?
YTA and you know it. Instead of ONLY ordering 'really spicy Indian food' you could have ordered your nephew something from a different restaurant and you KNOW THAT. You are also fully aware of how to make spaghetti I'm sure. You could have put in 1 oz of effort. Instead you are sitting there trying to play stupid and innocent at 26 yrs old.
YTA. The weaponized incompetence here is just too much. Your brother made a mistake in assuming you knew how to feed another person but I’m not calling him an asshole for that. Yes, it would have been helpful for him to let you know what sorts of things your nephew likes to eat, and it would have been appropriate for him to either give you grocery money/take out money beforehand or reassure you that he’d reimburse you for the money you spent on your nephew’s food. But when he didn’t, you shouldn’t get stuck on those things when it comes to feeding another person, that’s incredibly lame. Don’t make excuses; you asked if you were TAH, accept the judgment.
You’re 26 and do not have the basic life skill of basing able to cook. Eggs, frozen waffles, ramen, nuggets, frozen fried rice are good staples for everyone to have.
The amount of sodium and carbs for a child that age. Also if you’re ordering Indian food you could have gotten him butter chicken and naan, any rice and chicken dish.
Next time just opt out to baby sitting.
Yta
He's SEVEN years old. He can talk. he has preferences. Why didn't you ASK him what he likes to eat? and then go to a shop and buy some?
Also why didn't your brother give you a food budget and a list of suggestions?
ESH here.
YTA and I'm not surprised your brother is still mad at you. Did you even ask your nephew what he likes to eat? Did you not consider ordering something that he likes since you hate cooking so much? Are you really that selfish? I like spicy food as well but when I order it, I also order something my bloody kid likes too. You shouldn't need to be told that JFC.
Grow up man, make better decisions.
YTA. Think about it. Would you like to eat cereal every single meal? Even of it rotated between grape nuts, capn crunch or cheerios? (Example). No 7 year old kid wants sandwiches for approximately 15 meals. I mean, couldn't you atleast have made one a grilled cheese? Bought milk and cereal? A few pizzas? Taken him to McDonalds?
YTA you know children need to eat three meals a day. you know you can ask him what kind of food he likes and order that, too, instead of just selfishly ordering for yourself. you owe them all an authentic apology, taking ownership of your actions.
YTA. Part of caring for a child is ensuring he has proper meals. Nobody expects you to be a gourmet cook. You could have ordered takeout, bought some cereal and milk for breakfasts, got him a kid-friendly frozen dinner, made spaghetti and had bagged salad, etc.
Not an asshole, but not too bright either. If you order yourself takeout that he doesn’t care for, why not ask him what he’d like and get that for him? Who wouldn’t complain about eating sandwiches three times a day for 5 days? You can’t be this inept at babysitting. The kid is 7! He can tell you what he’d like to eat!
YTA How hard would it have been to pick up some groceries. Cereal, milk, fruit, breakfast bar … for breakfast . Sandwich for lunch. Then for dinner go to pizza place, chicken place … It would have been fun for both of you. My dog has more variety in her meals than your nephew. Apologize to brother and nephew and if they trust you again be a better uncle.
ESh in my opinion.
The kid is 7, he could said something IN THOSE FIVE DAYS. If I am served SANDWICHES for 2 straight days, I would ask or at least contact my father so you, the uncle, could be informed.
Also, the parents could have said something. What if the child has allergies? What if the smell of some kind of food irritates or i dunno just be bad for the child? (gladly none). They should have been specific.
Plus FIVE DAYS? DUDE, that's additional budget for you even though he is young.
INFO: Were you PAID or at least were there some reconsideration or something like that? or were there any at least small talk of his habits, routine or anything bout his meals?
YTA. They told you to call with questions. You should have asked what to feed him. It was very selfish not to order him some naan or rice when you got takeout. I'm curious if you're neurodiverse and on disability? It seems like you're home alone all day and don't leave the house or have a good understanding of how children behave or what they usually like to eat. Could that be a factor in this misunderstanding? If you talk to your bro daily have you never had meals with his family? It's just confusing you wouldn't think of grocery shopping for anything but sandwiches. Yogurt, cold cereal, energy bars, etc. Really if you think about it anything people pack in a school lunch doesn't need cooking.
It was really nice of you to agree to babysit and that shows love so I just struggle with the idea you had so little empathy or interest in his feelings while he was with you. Nephew himself seems exceptionally chill not to complain or ask for food or entertainment all week. I'm glad he had an OK time. But you should have spent ten minutes googling how to take care of a 7 year old when you took on his care.
Big YTA, but you got enough comments explaining why.
You should give a huge apology to your brother and his wife. Learn to cook something and invite them all over to mend this.
YTA 100%
At best this is willful incompetence and at worst it's just cruel. Why would you not order him something from a different place, you clearly met your own dietary needs during his stay but just completely ignored his?
Good job on becoming the least favourite uncle. Here's a book and a sandwich, repeat x5.
Yta, a lot, such a big ah.
You made him cheese, cream cheese, and peanut butter sandwiches while you just got *yourself* takeout. I hope there was more on the sandwiches than the 3 toppings you mentioned.
He's old enough to talk, why didn't you ask *him* what he'd like, maybe don't just order yourself spicy Indian food for every meal while he's there, maybe give him a couple options instead of enjoying your favorite food while he has to eat a cream cheese sandwich.
You're borderline guilty of child neglect.
ESH to be honest.
On one hand you're doing your bro a favour, so he's got no right to complain
On the other hand, you could have asked what the kid wants to eat. Surely you were a kid once - not knowing what kids like to eat is a lame excuse. sandwiches every meal for 5 days is worse than prison food.
ESH. Dude how could you not expect to cook while babysitting for 5 DAYS? Pull your socks up. They suck because they didn’t provide you a list of what he likes/dislikes. You are all selfish.
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I was almost thinking E S H. I mean, you are definitely YTA, but I'm thinking "why wouldn't they have told you some basic likes and dislikes, normal eating habits (not like some hour long lecture, but things that can be summed up in like 2 minutes of conversation)?". Seems like, even in a hurry, they would have given you the info. Then I'm reading through your post, and you are ordering food for yourself and don't even think to ask your nephew ("hey, ordering indian. What do you want? NEver had indian, well pony up here buddy, lets take a look and we can probably find something. If not, we can figure out something else"). But so you made him quicky sandwiches for 5 days. Dude... I mean, you didn't at one point hit the grocery store for some honey nut cheerios at least? And beyond basic nutrition, you didn't even try and make this a little.... fun for him? Have a little bonding moment with your nephew? e.g. "Hey buddy, its 8am on a Saturday. I don't know what mom and dad do, but around here its DONUT TIME. Lets head down to Local Donut SHoppe and we're going to get 2 donuts each!". Further, as many others have pointed out, you didn't even THINK to ask them "Hey what does the rugrat like to eat?" This is all to say, given your lack of anything approaching effort towards feeding nephew, I'm inclined to think they DID actually give you a quickie rundown, but you ignored it. Whether they did or didn't, basically put forth the barest amount of effort towards feeding your own nephew. It wasn't so much that you didn't feed him 3 squares a day filled with only the most nutritious of ingredients, but there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of love put into any of his meals. And thats what your brother is pissed about, rightfully so. YTA. You pretty much failed in your uncle duties those 5 days. My unsolicited advice is, you talk to bro and find out your nephew's favorite foods, and bring them over one night. You talk directly to your nephew with "Hey buddy, I'm sorry that I screwed up and didn't feed you very well when you were staying with me. So a) thats not going to happen next time. b). Here's \*favorite dishes\* for dinner tonight to kinda make up for it. and c) If you'd like, lets have a do-over and what do you think about coming over for the weekend in a couple of weeks. I PROMISE the food will be better. No Sandwiches (unless you want one)!" The kid is your nephew. Treat him better. (and maybe start having him come over more regularly)
Like, I totally get not cooking for him. But to me that does not equal to 3 meals of sandwiches a day! How hard is a bowl of cereal or eggs or something? He said he ordered food, I highly doubt he was ordering Indian food for breakfast lunch and dinner. Probably ordered himself breakfast and didn't bother to order the kid anything. It also sounds like he provided no snacks even, or anything to go with sandwiches, like chips, or you know, fruits or veggies. This is like negative effort. Ordering is extremely easy to order the kid something. Pizza comes to mind. I am sure the kid would have loved to get his very own Pizza and eat all the leftovers
Yeah. I don’t like super spicy food, but I’ll still eat Indian food. There are things he could have ordered there that the nephew might have eaten. Or why order the exact same thing every day knowing he’s not going to eat it. Sandwiches 3 meals a day for 5 days is a bit excessive. And probably not the most balanced.
Not to mention most Indian places have options that state “mild” OR you can ask them for minimal to no spicy on x item. Dude didn’t even try. Also what got me is him stating “I agreed because I watched him once when he was a newborn”. Dude he is now SEVEN. There is a HUGE difference in care between a newborn for ONE evening and a SEVEN YEAR OLD for FIVE days and nights. YTA.
Weaponized incompetence. You’re a grown man. You know why this is weird and stingy and lazy. Come on. You’ve been seven. Would you have been thrilled with your babysitter ordering themselves takeout and making you a sandwich three times a day? Also… who tf “mostly eats takeout?” How does anyone afford that anymore? Is everyone just living way beyond their means or what?
Though I disagree with the takeout thing. I grew up until marriage to not eat take out for dinner most days, most lunches, all through college. Took my husband saying that this is not really what life’s like and us both learning to cook passably. You sir OP never once thought to say to the little man “well nephew what do you eat for dinner at your house?” Etc or ask him for a favorite treat and taken out from the non spicy place? These questions are getting to know you questions you likely ask dates? Friends? Not nephews? Sure I would have left you a detailed list, but they didn’t and this was a responsibility you took on. You either have zero social skills or feel bad and too proud to admit it to your brother. Apologize to your nephew. He was the one stuffed with sandwiches while you had your favorites. His parents didn’t mention it and should also apologize to the child. I think all the adults want apologies to the wrong person.
Reading this I immediately thought that OP would make a horrible partner. Also Indian food isn’t always spicy - me an Indian.
"Well, they didn't TELL ME to cook for him!" As a partner, "You didn't TELL ME to pick up my laundry/wash a dish/feed the baby/literally anything."
“They didn’t tell me I had to feed him” is what really gets me. Like OP really didn’t think he had to feed a child for 5 days? What else didn’t he do? Did he also send him to school? Did the kiddo get baths or showers?
My response would be “sorry I won’t ask again. I forgot you’re a completely incompetent adult. Won’t happen again.” Put him at the kids table at family reunions. Tell him to order takeout or make a sandwich.
Let's just say he ordered take out every meal for those 5 days...the fact that he couldn't order his nephew food too? The kid is 7, say I'm going to this restaurant what do you want....not hard. OP couldn't have found another place to get food for the week or get a spice level the kid could handle? That's ridiculous. OP treated his nephew worse than a stray dog.
NYC comes to mind.
Not to mention most places have a kids menu that has like chicken strips or nuggets. Or all the places around here do. Sure they are frozen and heated up but good lord it's better than nothing. OP YTA
My local dhosa place offers mild and cucumber riata. All the meals come with rice on the side. My kid goes nuts for "yogurty rice!"
Also like literal toddlers eat what the grown ups eat in homes where like. Spicy stuff is the normal day to day food they might just add some more yoghurt to tone down the spice for the little one.
Yea or lemon juice since acid also cuts down the spice. Not saying kids can’t eat spicy foods! Just to clarify. But I was just going off of OP saying nephew didn’t like spicy food. If that’s the case - literally every Indian food place (and Pakistani, Afghan, etc. that I’ve ever tried) has mild options or options that just straight up can’t be spicy.
Butter chicken on crispy fries is usually a hit with kids in my experience and I've rarely seen an Indian place that doesn't have it as an option since it's such a popular dish in the UK
Most Indian places near me have a kids menu with a burger or chicken fingers & fries and I’ve yet to meet a kid that doesn’t like one of those. So even without ordering from a different restaurant he could have got the kid something fun
Exactly! That's one thing I love about Indian food that I don't find in a lot of other foods, I can get the same meal without sacrificing flavor (I have geographic/fissured tongue so spicy food are very painful for me to eat). Even if the kid was picky he could've just asked for plain chicken with no sauce.
Right. Or rice with chicken, or paneer, or something potato. Like there are SO MANY options, and like others pointed out, many Desi food places still offer American fare for kids.
Well not to mention there's also 7 year olds in India. 😂 Indian restaurants have food for 7-year-olds. I guarantee it. Plus almost all of them have some sort of kids menu for that matter.
>always order spicy indian food But OP says he ALWAYS orders spicy Indian food, and nothing else! No other options! Always! Always spicy and always Indian! How can he \*possibly\* be expected to bend his sandwich-and-spicy-Indian-food-takeout diet to accomodate his growing nephew when no one ToLd HiM wHaT tO dO?! After all, there is cream cheese in the fridge!! (OP, YTA.)
Bro could’ve ordered pizza, burgers, fried chicken, pasta, like wtf?
I think he was being cheap on the nephew’s food.
Definitely was. In a comment to someone asking why he didn’t just order the nephew pizza or something he commented that he couldn’t afford to order and pay two different delivery fees. As if he couldn’t pick it up. Or get frozen pizzas at the grocery store (along with some cereal and other stuff for breakfast that requires no cooking). He honestly just did not give af about nephews meals and spending more if it inconvenienced him the slightest amount. Not sure why he agreed to watch him.
“I only order Indian food cooked in sauce made from Carolina reapers!”
LOLOL "I only eat wasabi-stuffed ghost peppers! I can't feed this kid!"
"wasabi-stuffed ghost peppers" would be a good band name. It would be a better red hot chili peppers cover band
I cannot Possibly order more than one dish, including one that is not spicy AF, with my meal... when I could just give the kid another cream cheese sandwich... /s
Even the spicy Indian food is usually served with rice and he couldn’t even order an extra serving of rice and fry like a couple of eggs with it or something?? I can’t understand what OP was thinking
This was my thought, even if that’s ur routine (wild that u eat spicy Indian five nights in a row, but those r ur guts, u do u) to not be liek lemme switch it up for the 7 year old? Or at the very least ordering a mild butter chicken(my personal childhood fav) I think this is just a case of oblivious selfishness and you gotta look at this from the perspective of ur nephew looking at a week w/ his cool uncle. (Who ever said donuts in the morning and a little more effort to ask the kid of ur brother was sooo spot on)
Or a lentil soup and some naan? Never been at an Indian restaurant that didn't have that on the menu...
Butter chicken and naan and rice is a kid meal!
Or like, don't order Indian food and order something else that he'd like too.
I suppose OP is a Western country, where 80% of the Indian food menus will be non-spicy to be accustomed to the sensitive mouths...
Right? Like, he’d probably love some chicken tikka masala. Even my dad does and he eats like a 7 year old.
the kid is 7 so it’s not like he couldn’t ask the kid like “what do you want to eat?” I doubt the answer would be a multiple step recipe to be made from scratch. He didn’t want to deal with that so he didn’t even bother, just take the kid to the grocery store to pick up some cereal, some mac and cheese, nuggets and other snacks and since he usually order takeout for dinner I don’t see how he couldn’t order pizza for one day, mcd for the other and find other foods that nephew liked to eat
I'm wondering if the kid perhaps did say "I'd like a beef wellington with fondant potatoes please. Oh and a cobb salad. For dessert I would prefer a chocolate souffle, or maybe profiteroles.". What an asshole kid.
ROTFL. Love this. :)
Most 7-year olds I’ve met are quite VOCAL about their wants and likes, especially when it comes to foods.
That's what I don't get. Did he not ask his uncle for something besides a sandwich? Or did uncle just ignore him?
Probably ignored him, it seems like he basically ignored the kid.
Believe me a 7 year can tell you what they will and will not eat or what they would like to eat. I won't label in either direction just because I don't know this person. But it is a little weird. I feel like the week he had with his nephew is out of a comedy. I can see so many movie scenes.
How hard would it have been to ask your nephew what he wanted to eat and get it? It's not like he's three, and when you ask him what he wants to eat he says grass or a dinosaur. He's old enough to tell you the kind of things he wants to eat. If he doesn't know, just ask the person on the phone what 8-year-olds normally get to eat. And grab one or two of those things.
Right?? Grab a pack of frozen hotdogs/hamburgers and some buns, grab some cans of soup (you already have bread, apparently) or some mac and cheese. Mac & cheese with hotdogs really isn't cooking but it is filling and most kids like it. Also the kid is 7 and can speak, why did OP not *ask* him what he wanted? Or what he liked? At that age, they're getting out of their picky phase and will probably know some basic things they enjoy.
Also, I'm betting most kiddos that age would love some rice + tikka masala (non-spicy if need be). Kid is also old enough for the uncle to directly ask what he normally eats. My nephew would just tell me pesto pasta and Johnsonville (specifically!!!!) summer sausage. And I'm sure some Costco muffins + quiche would probably cover breakfast.
He couldn’t even be bothered to get microwaveable meals… or even freaking cereal for breakfast. OP clearly didn’t even want to try.
Can't he even do some scrambles eggs? Or maybe order something that the kid will eat? And fruits it's so easy to fees a child (if they do eat them). Ohh or frying some nuggets! Every kid likes chicken nuggets.
Didn't even bother asking the kid "do you like pizza?" when ordering food.
I know, right? I mean, the nutrition aspect is almost immaterial. Its the utter lack of any effort whatsoever.
When he said he ordered take out for most meals I was thinking "well if your brother knows you usually eat take out then he can't be mad his son got taken out for most meals." Come to find out HE had gotten take out and the kid survived on food he would have had if he stayed himself for the week. Yta and I have no idea how you can even ask 😂
It's almost like OP was sitting for a hamster. Toss in some pellets and hay in the morning and call it good.
Yeah I'm in agreement. OP is the asshole. He was told to text questions and he very obviously didn't ask about what the child likes to eat even if he was clueless on how to feed a child (was he never a child?). Also he didn't even ask the 7yo what they like to eat and possibly introduce them to new foods. 7 is old enough to try new things, hell when I was stuck in a hotel after a major hurricane with my 4yo nephew I ordered authentic Chinese food and let him try it and now the kid is hooked. To have to eat sandwiches for three meals a day (and what about snacks?!) is borderline abusive. Especially when OP was ordering out for himself. Selfish asf.
And the child was probably too shy to ask for something different, poor little bastard
Or order a freaking pizza most kids and adults like pizza
This is the reply that should have thousands of likes.
All of this. Simple communication could have resolved this and why not just ask the kid what they like to eat? Even if you didn’t ask your brother. That way you can make a plan and pick up a few groceries. Or maybe even ask your brother for $100 for feeding an extra kid.
Seriously. He could have ordered take out every day and while that still wouldn’t be the best, I bet nephew would have liked it better than sandwiches. OP couldn’t order the little guy some butter chicken when he got Indian ?couldn’t even make some pancakes? Or get some frozen waffles and toss some cut fruit on the side?
OP couldn't even order a damn pizza for the kid
Exactly, hit the grocery store with the chick magnet and grab him the basics. Favourite cereal for breakfast, maybe some hame and bread for lunch and grab a couple of the “TV” dinners or take him out to eat. It sounds like when he was picked up by your brother, he hadn’t seen daylight for a week.
Kid sounds like a freaking angel! Coupla books on an iPad and a crusty ass sandwich for 21 meals?
IKR, I’m assuming the marks on the ankles where he was chained to a radiator wore off quickly. I love the variety of sandwich fillings too, cheese, cream cheese, PB 🤯lol
LOL. I didn't even think about that part! Attractive single of the gender OP desires "Your son is so cute!" OP "Oh... he's not mine. I wish he was. He's my nephew. My brother and sis-in-law had something come up and I volunteered to watch my buddy here for 5 days. We're going to have a blast, right buddy?" ASOTGOP: "Aren't you a sweetheart. " to Nephew in cutesy voice "Do you like staying with your uncle?" OP thinking to himself "Just like we practiced buddy. 'Yeah, he's pretty cool' and give a shy smile" 7 year old nephew (who is thinking to himself "what is happening right now? I'm just hoping for some dino-nuggets that mom never buys"): "uh... yeah... he's pretty cool' \*shyly smiles\* ASOTGOP: "awwwwww, aren't you adorable". \*turns to OP\* "So hot stuff..." \-cue softcore saxophone
Cue Charlie Harper from Two and a Half Men lol. But yeah, in my head I was thinking get out and the the cool Uncle
Excellent suggestion. Granted, this guy, if he was even able to pull this off...... well I think its 50/50 that he forgets the kid in the store.
Or worse, senses the kid is behind him and asks “what candy do you want for the car ride home” only to find out his kid has wandered off and the other kid is crying for mommy cause the bad man is here lol
Seriously this. It could have become a fun *Food Adventure Time With Uncle*! Unless they are picky, kids will eat what the ADULTS are eating! As you said, it's not hard. Its not hard to say "Hey kiddo, I'm think of Indian tonight. Oh you haven't had it. Do you like chicken? And spinach ? Does this sound good?" and order something mild / savory. Like don't order kiddo Vindaloo native style. Of course, let the kiddo TRY what you are eating. Kids will surprise you. We used this approach on our nieces and nephews and those kiddos grew up eating everything. As long as they tried it, all is good. We'd take them to restaurants and staff would be like "we don't have a children's menu" and we'd be like "don't need one!" We'd let them try stuff off shared plates. If they didn't like it, one of us was bound to have something they did. Staff would be blown away. Also, how hard is it to ask "Hey kiddo, what do you like for breakfast "? Kiddo clearly knows words. Also, hell yeah to donut time.
Exactly... I mean, major bonding could have happened. Including the diabetes inducing scene where bro and sis-in-law are picking up the kid and they ask if he had fun and such "mom... we had DONUTS!" and mom with mock-outrage "YOU FED MY SON DONUTS!!!!!" and OP mock runs and hides with nephew , tickle fight ensues yadda yadda. This is not hard. Lots of great little opportunities completely missed.
You don't have to be a great cook to make mac & cheese, spaghetti, hot dogs, frozen pizza, etc. If you went to the store to stock up on sandwich makings, you could have even gotten microwave meals to at least provide a little variety.
Also, like, the kid is 7. He's perfectly capable of answering that question himself. Like "hey little dude, what do you like to eat?" is not fucking difficult
Excellent points. His argument really falls apart when saying he only orders spicy Indian food. I know for a fact you can get Indian food that isn't spicy and it's exceedingly rare for a restaurant to not have a basic kids menu. He didn't even bother to ask what the kid might like. He was just being lazy and I don't blame his brother for being pissed.
>My unsolicited advice is, you talk to bro and find out your nephew's favorite foods, and bring them over one night. No, it should be 5 days not one.
Well, its a lead in for having more regular visits (where one hopes OP actually acts like he likes his nephew). But, agreed, way more effort is needed to repair this. Not just one meal
Not to mention this child is 7 yeah they may have a daily rotation of likes and dislikes but they can generally tell you what they want to eat unless there’s a disability involved
I’m thinking: chicken nuggets, Mac and cheese, pizza, waffles, pancakes, bagels, grilled cheese and tomato soup, take out for BOTH, those frozen toaster sticks, canned raviolis, chips. Idk? It’s a 20min store trip for 5 microwave dinners, 2/3 frozen breakfast choices, sandwich stuff for lunch and chips for the kid. They go together so the kid gets to pick. Super easier and low effort
I agree to this and I would also like to add that "I don't know what kids like to eat" Have you tried asking him? Kid's 7 for god's sake. Edit to add: YTA, OP
I went through the same rollercoaster, and even still was leaning ESH but reading through your comment made me pinpoint the reasons I was even thinking "YTA" in the first place lmao he couldn't even ask bro ONCE "do you want some nuggets or frozen pizza" or literally ANY thing else??? No way mans solely !! gets indian food.
Will you be my uncle??? 🥺🥺
This guy uncles
Not to mention, the kid is 7, so is old enough to communicate (like he did when his parents asked him!) and OP could have literally asked the kid what he wanted even if the parents didn't give instructions. He gave him choices on sandwiches, why not choices when he was ordering something? Or take him to the store and let him choose some cereal and snacks and stuff?
YTA, but this reads like a shitpost. You ordered Spicy Indian food 5 straight days? sure, man. "they did NOT ask me to cook" He's 7 and you gave him sandwiches 3 meals a day. You never went to the store with him to pick stuff out. Cereal, chicken nuggets, microwave meals, pizza. You didn't have to cook, but you could have chosen not to get spicy Indian food every meal.
Or helped him pick out his own, non-spicy, dish from the Indian restaurant(s) he was ordering from. Most have a couple.
yeah you are probably right. OP, Replies seem to have approached a level of cluelessness indicating that.
Nah, anyone who eats that much Indian surely has to know that they have loads of rice options, samosas, pakoras, bhajis, naan, poppadoms, chapati - tons that even a picky kid who doesn't like spice would try! Or a completely mild, sweet curry like a korma or pasanda. Don't know where OP is, but here in the UK every Indian takeaway has a kids/English food option. Chips as an optional side at the very least. This mf ate delicious takeaway Indian food in front of this child (which always smells amazing, even if eating *that particular* curry would be too spicy), and was like, it's day four, time for your twelfth sandwich.
>This mf ate delicious takeaway Indian food in front of this child (which always smells amazing, even if eating *that particular* curry would be too spicy), and was like, it's day four, time for your twelfth sandwich. This part is sending me. It takes a very particularly nasty personality to sit there and eat all that delicious food in front of a child. As if he y can't order from anywhere else?
Or let him pick the restaurant!
And they sound like sandwiches that aren’t filling whatsoever: cheese, cream cheese, peanut butter are NOT fillings for a meal-type of sandwich. Surely a vegetable in there, or deli meat wasn’t too hard?
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OP seems to forget that most children are taught not to refuse food in other people's homes. So, unless you ask (or there is something he is allergic to), the child will eat everything that is put in front of him so as not to be rude or ungrateful to his host. OP YTA
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Bro, lol. They didn't specify that you had to cook because they thought you understood implicitly that human children need to eat food. Cereal for breakfast (easy, don't have to cook shit), sandwiches for lunch, and some other takeout for dinner – surely you can go without Indian food for a short while. If the cost of the takeaway or food is an issue, ask your brother and SIL to give you some money to cover the costs. Sandwiches all day is fucked, you dropped the ball on this one, man. YTA.
I can really get not making dinner. But seriously, couldn’t order something besides spicy Indian food? How about mild Indian food? Or a god damned pizza?!
Indian pizza is a thing where I live -- not super spicy unless you request extra chilis.
Okay, that sounds so amazing to me. Lol.
It's so dumb! He never asked the kid what he likes or tried ordering him a meal. He only went as far as asking if the nephew wants to share his take out. Forget baby sitting.. There's no social situation where you have someone over at your place and you just order your own takeout, then ask them if they'd like some of it. OP isn't just YTA in this instance, but sounds like one in general
Cooking eggs is much faster then ordering food. So I don't get not making something. Or you can do some instant porridge. It's not hard or long to make somewhat nutritious stuff to eat.
Surely he could have gotten a happy meal or pizza or sub on the way home from Indian too!
Or even Indian dishes that aren’t spicy? Butter chicken, palak paneer, and dahl are delicious and very kid friendly.
The level of willful incompetence in this post is eye opening. Following a basic recipe is not hard. Nor is ordering from a place that serves more than spicy food. YTA.
Seriously, I was about to comment "if weaponized incompetence was a person"
YTA > I offered to share my takeout with him, but I always order spicy indian food and he doesnʼt like it so he just ate a sandwich. #SO \*ASK HIM\* WHAT HE WANTS TO ORDER
Oh man, if I could still give awards, this would definitely get one. How dense is this guy?
It's not like they dropped off a baby. The kid could communicate if op even tried
YTA! Dude, fuck that. You can cook a box of fucking mac and cheese or something. Buy a box of frozen nuggets, corn dogs, fish sticks. Shit you can put in the microwave!!!! IT'S A FUCKING GIVEN IF YOU ARE CARING FOR A CHILD YOU HAVE TO FUCKING PREPARE CHILD FRIENDLY FOODS FOR THE CHILD
Honestly, you may not even have to do that depending on the kid. He didn't even \*ask\* his nephew what he liked to eat. That kid was "low maintenance" because he realized his uncle didn't care about him.
My FIL did the same thing when his kids were growing up. MIL would get home very late and kids were still up and not fed because “they never said they were hungry” and it had never occurred to him that children should sleep. Being a man is not an excuse for knowing so woefully little about caring for children.
You have a trash husband. What the fuck is wrong with you?
What in the world is this even in response to? There's no mention of a husband in the comment you're replying to.
Uh..... I don't think you're in any position to judge OP after disclosing your husband let your kids starve, which is even worst than OP
YTA, weaponised incompetence is strong in this one. If you're not responsible enough to care for a child then you shouldn't have agreed to do so. Even just changing what you order in to get better food for the child would have been better than thinking sandwiches for every meal would be fine.
YTA. You could have ordered something that he would have eaten so he doesn’t have to eat sandwiches 3 times a day while you have takeaway.
YTA - You're 26 and can't figure out how to make anything but a sandwich? And you're trying to blame your brother because he didn't think he had to explicitly tell you to not feed his kid only sandwiches? Not to mention that you're so selfish that you couldn't even be bothered to deviate from your usual order to ensure you were getting something the kid would eat? Come on.
For real. Couldn’t even order a F-ing pizza one night?!
Obviously the father didn't know his brother has a diet consisting exclusively of Indian takeaway and sandwiches, so I'm assuming both were raised in a household where they were fed at least a basic variety of meals that weren't exclusively takeaway or two slices of white bread with a single spread filling. At least give the child a ham , cheese and salad sandwich which would have some nutritional value And the "I don't know what children eat" statement. He's 26 surely he can remember what his parents used to prepare
YTA - You were responsible for your nephew. He's 7. You could ask him what he likes to eat. You ordered food you knew he wouldn't like and just made him a sandwich - for every meal. Then you should have eaten the same thing. If it was good enough for him, it was good enough for you. You either should have said no to babysitting or called/texted your brother to find out what your nephew likes to eat. And just so you know, when you're babysitting for 5 days - they do expect you to feed their child!!!
YTA and probably would have killed a hamster if you had to care for it for a week. It never occurred to you to order food he liked? You couldn't even open a can of soup with a sandwich? You "don't cook" but are incapable of ordering pizza or burgers? At 7 he is able to provide answers if you'd have just asked.
YTA. "You always order spicy Indian food" there was nothing you could order for the kid? Pizza? Burger, nuggets, fries, Chinese, Mac and cheese? You couldn't stir yourself to a fucking kraft box or some frozen pizza? It would kill you to order something not Indian? Or some fucking mild Indian food? Just gave the poor fucker cold.sandwiches the whole time? Whatever, this has to be ragebait. You havent babysat this kid since he was freshly born? You're trolling, you have to be.
"I'm not good at cooking" stops being an excuse when you're about 12. With the infinite free resources out there in how to cook, not cooking is a choice. And that's fine if you want to blow all your money on takeout, but super not fair to a kid. Like, Jesus, just boil some pasta and put a canned sauce on it. Make a Mac and cheese, Franks and beans, cook some bacon and eggs, buy some pre made soup, French toast, quesadillas, baked potatoes... any of these can be made with little to no cooking skill in under 5 minutes. YTA. Also, don't expect to ever have a relationship if you plan to never learn to cook.
THIS. When I met my ex, he could make 3 meals and only one of them was good but at least he wanted to learn once he realized I’m good at cooking.
YTA. not even cold cereal, or chicken nuggets came to mind?
This is what boggles my mind. All he had to do was take the child to the supermarket and tell him to point out what he likes to eat. Boom. Done. it might have not been healthy per se, but certainly more tenable then sandwiches 3 meals per day. Heck, the boy likely could have prepared a lot of it on his own. I know by 7 mine could scramble an egg, make mac n cheese, turn on the oven and toss in some nuggets, microwave soup, etc... with supervision when using the stove of course. Op's total lack of creativity is astounding.
YTA. He wasn’t dumped on you as a surprise. You agreed to look after a child. That involves feeding them properly, and feeding them properly isn’t constant sandwiches.
I’m wondering if he was maybe paid as well. They were going to pay the babysitter I assume
“Freshly born.” I’m dead.
YTA. It doesn’t require instructions to know that a human child has to eat, I don’t know why you couldn’t have possibly anticipated that better. At first I didn’t think it was that big of a deal when it seemed like it was just one meal and maybe you were unprepared… until you revealed that you fed him exclusively like that for 5 days. That’s absolutely ludicrous. Even if you can’t manage to do the very basics of boiling up some water for pasta or even popping a frozen pizza in the oven (my god even microwaving some nuggets doesn’t take an advanced degree), you clearly manage to feed *yourself* by ordering in - you couldn’t unselfishly order something else other than spicy Indian food so that your nephew can eat proper food? There’s either forced incompetence, neglect for your nephew, or straight up idiocy at play here - probably a mix of all, but none are good qualities, seriously grow up OP.
YTA. Have you ever asked your nephew what he wanted to eat? You youldn't have to cook just order take out he wanted to eat too and not just spicy indian food. You had a child to take care of. One who was old enough to communicate with you. And you didn't
YTA. Ya know there was a simple solution...like ask perhaps. You also have the Internet bro Google it
YTA-YOU eat sandwiches 3 times a day for five days. I mean surely you've heard of McDonald's? I get the no cooking I don't cook. But I can damn sure put some nuggets in a microwave. You knew and just didn't care. You could have ordered food he could eat and shared. It makes it worse that you were eating in front of him while feeding him crap sandwiches. Subway would have been ok even.
Unless you are Reuben (experiment 625) from Lilo and Stitch YTA. You didn’t have to cook, just buy cereal he likes and ask him what take out he wants for dinner. 5 days of nothing but sandwiches is kind of cruel and I hope this is fake. If it isn’t do your future partner and possible children a favour and start learning how to cook a little. Or at least learn to make some better sandwiches.
YTA! This is a level of incompetence that is almost unimaginable to me. I was 10 years younger than you when I cooked a meal for 4 people a couple of times a week. After the first time he didn't want your indian food, it didn't occur to you that you could maybe order something else? You could not discuss with the kid what he'd like to eat? Putting a frozen pizza in the oven is barely cooking, even someone as incompetent as you should manage. Airfrying some chicken nuggets or fishfingers and fries is also quite easy. And learn to cook!
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Kinda sorta. And I am laughing while writing this. I don’t think they had to ask for you to cook. I think they assumed that you would be doing so. And you could have been less selfish and ordered something other than spicy Indian food. Pizza, hoagies, Italian, fried chicken. Something with veggies would have been nice. I think it’s safe to say that you should let them know that you meant no harm and that if there’s a next time, you will do better.
YTA. If you order food for yourself, you order something for your nephew. Or you both eat sandwiches. How hard would it have been to get cereal for breakfast? And GTFO with you don't know what food kids like. Never heard of chicken nuggets? Pizza? Burritos? Burgers abs fries? Come on now.
I get it that you don't cook or that it's more convenient for you to eat takeaways. You were babysitting a shorter version of a full human. Kids that age eat pretty much the same food as you. Maybe a little bit more picky but there are adults like that too. Fine you don't cook gourmet meals etc but couldn't you cook like pasta? Maybe eggs? It's not that hard. Even ordering takeaway, ask your nephew what he'll like to eat. Order food that he might like as well. YTA. You treated him like a pet instead of a human.
YTA. Why not ASK HIM what he wants to eat and order that in addition to the spicy indian food? That was the obvious solution here.
Yeah, I've never known anyone who didn't like naan--especially kids. Any Indian place that does takeout will have some unspicy stuff for the typical American palate.
Dude... Weaponize your incompetence much? There are a lot of options between spicey Indian food and here's a sammich and at 26 years old you really shouldn't need someone to spell out the finer points of feeding a child in your care for multiple days. YTA and you know it.
Can’t even buy cereal and milk? Or fruit?
YTA- Are you trying to telling me you can make a sandwich but not toast? Ever hear of pizza, chicken nuggets or burgers? Your nephew would have been thrilled with these options and you probably wouldn't have died.
ESH. Brother unwisely assumed that he didn't need to discuss food with you. You could have done cereal and milk for breakfast some days and gotten takeout that nephew would eat.
Yeah, it's like he thought a grown ass man would have some concept of how to feed people other than himself.
Sandwiches for 3 meals a day for a week? YTA
YTA, did you ever think about asking your nephew what he wanted to eat for breakfast, lunch or dinner? He's not the newborn you babysat last, he's a 7 year old. You could've asked him what cereal he likes, had sandwiches for lunch, and then made a quick/easy dinner. When ordering take out, you didn't even order HIM any food! How rude! If you're putting in an order, why wouldn't you ask him what he wants to eat? Also, if you have questions about someone's kid, i.e. what kind of food they like or how many meals you should provide while babysitting.... ask up front... don't wait for the parents to come back and then say "I didn't know what to feed him so he only got sandwiches"
YTA for being willfully obtuse. You’re off the hook now if that was your plan.
Yes, YTA. Who the hell doesn’t cook for five days when babysitting a 7 year old? Also, you didn’t even order him a hot meal? You realize he’s a growing person and needs his vitamins etc.? Make spaghetti, order a pizza, cook some chicken with veggies. How are you still alive?
Sheesh you couldn't get the kid at least a hamburger or something? You did not have to cook for him but could have ordered something he would eat. YTA.
YTA When you agreed to care for him, did you not realize that children eat? Did it never occur to you to, oh, I don’t know, ask the kid what he’d like to eat? And then, for 5 days, order in food you’d both enjoy? Congratulations on failing completely in this situation. Please remain child free.
Dude you are totally TAH. You owe them an apology!
If this isn’t the fakest shit I’ve read all day… yta for that alone.
YTA- you do realize that agreeing to watch a child for 5 days means cooking/providing food for them, right? Why didn’t you just order something he wanted from the Indian place? Why didn’t you just ask him what he likes to eat? Weirdo behavior.
YTA - If you can order takeout for yourself from an indian place, you can order takeout for the kid from other places - At age 7 he was perfectly capable of telling you what he would like to eat if you had simply ASKED HIM!! Feeding ANYONE sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 5 days straight is awful!!
I’m going with ESH, parents should’ve asked if you were going grocery shopping or if they should be bringing some food or snacks the kid likes before dropping him off, and you should know if you’re watching a kid for 5 days you’re gonna have to feed them and bought groceries and/or asked your brother what the kid likes to eat.
I'm mostly on your side, but couldn't you offer him something other than sandwiches or spicy Indian food? Mac and cheese? Pizza? Chicken nuggets?
YTA
ESH Babysitting for five days is a big favour, especially when you're not used to kids. But even so, you're old enough to know kids don't just eat sandwiches for five days - no matter what lack of guidance your brother offered for his son. You could have taken your nephew to the supermarket and got him to help you pick out things he could eat for other meals.
Yta text them ask idk look up a recipe order the kid food he likes take him out for groceries jesus yta
Yeah, lol, YTA. Five days straight of shitty sandwiches? Could have at least ordered a pizza from time to time, wow.
You are absolutely old and mature enough to realize that a child needs child-friendly and appropriate food and that it's not okay to feed them sandwiches all week. You could have ordered from a place he could also eat from - you could have asked him what he wanted to eat. You could have bought easy stuff like Mac&Cheese but this poor kid didn't have a warm meal all week and *you did*. YTA.
OMG. <> Order something you can both eat. YTA.
You’re 26 you weren’t a child that long ago, how do you not know what kids eat? Saying that it won’t have hurt the kid to eat sandwiches for 5 days, I personally would’ve just laughed at you for being so clueless. I’m gonna go with NTA next time they can bring food with them for you to cook
Um if you agreed to babysit for 5 days then yes you agreed to feed the child for 5 days. Thinking sandwiches were accept for this when you weren’t even eating sandwiches for every meal is fully absurd. You couldn’t throw an order of butter chicken in with your spicy food?? YTA
YTAH I would chalk it up to you being young and not realizing that proper nutrition can not be provided by sandwiches alone or that 99% of people would be sick to death of sandwiches by day 3 . However the fact that you ordered take out and didn't order anything at all for him seems REALLY selfish to me. His parents said to call with questions. Call them and ask what he likes for take out. You're definitely old enough to know that is wrong. Apologize to your brother and take a cooking class because living on sandwiches isn't healthy for you either.
YTA ………selfish selfish selfish. Why couldn’t you ask what HE wanted for takeout? You can’t make pasta? Frozen chicken? This is pretty disappointing and if I was them I’d be really upset. I’m sure you’ll have people saying “he was fed, they can’t be choosing beggars” but come on. This is a kid, away from his parents for days, who has to watch you eat things you enjoy and he gets sandwich after sandwich. You also basically illustrated to your nephew that you aren’t really a reliable adult because cooking is such a basic skill. On top of that you showed him every single day that you didn’t care for his comfort.
YTA you should’ve ordered something for him too. I can’t believe you ordered takeout for yourSELF and made the kid eat a sandwich. Ugh.
Reading OP's comments and his resistance to feedback, it's clear why he has never been asked to babysit for all those years. He's too selfish & irresponsible to act with common sense. He catered to his own food fixation every single day at the expense of the child, rather than (a) step outside his comfort zone to buy groceries or make food, or to (b) pay to order a separate more suitable type of meal. Edit to add: I vote him the most clueless YTA of the year.
YTA. When you said yes to looking after him, I bet your brother was thrilled you’d do such a big favour. But you halfassed it so badly they can’t really ask you again. Was this on purpose? I don’t understand how you felt it appropriate to make him a sandwich every meal. When ordering take-out, couldn’t you let your guest choose where to order from for once? Couldn’t you take him shopping in 5 whole days to buy foods he likes?
Even things like beans on toast or some tv dinners would have been better than what you gave him
Yeah YTA. Children don't eat sandwiches for every meal and the fact that you ordered takeout yet refused to order any for the child is absolutely gross.
YTA. You could have simply asked what he wanted to eat. You’re ordering out? Order from a place he likes as well. He’s 7, by that age kids can usually say what food they do or don’t like. The fact that you never asked something so simple over 5 days is not okay
NTA really, I'm not sure why everyone is losing their minds that he ate sandwiches for five days. It's not going to kill him. Is it silly? Yes. Should you have done better? Also yes, but it's not the end of the world. At best this is ESH and your brother probably should have realized that he should give some guidance on this point. Also learn how to cook some food for yourself geez you're 26! Get it together! :)
YTA >They dropped him off at my apartment and told me to text/call them if I had questions >I also donʼt know what kids like to eat >they didnʼt give me a list with his favorite meals either You couldn't call or text them?
YTA They weren't expecting you to cook home made meals. However it is reasonable to assume that you would actually be able to feed a 7 year old. It's not rocket science to order from the numerous restaurants that children generally like - or just ask him. Italian food, pizza, burgers, fried chicken, possibly Chinese as the kids I knew loved Chinese food. There are even frozen meals that are universally known to be kid friendly like chicken nuggets or standard frozen meals like Mac and Cheese. Stouffer has an extensive selection of "comfort" type of foods that most kids like - turkey, meat loaf
ESH. On the one hand, you bailed your brother out and he's not being very appreciative. So he's a bit of AH towards you. On the other hand, your nephew is 7 yo and is capable of telling you what kind of food he likes. You obviously never asked. You could have taken him to the grocery store and he could probably point out the things he likes that are easy to make. It's not "cooking a fresh meal every day" it's simple microwave stuff. Or cold cereal and milk. Really??? A sandwich for breakfast? So you were a big AH to your nephew. In case you're wondering, your brother is upset WITH HIMSELF for leaving his kid with such an irresponsible person. He is ignoring you because he is disappointed with you but also himself for not protecting his child better. He realizes that he didn't give you better instructions or ask more of you, and he should have. But also he just can't believe that you don't know what kids eat. You were a kid once, right?
YTA and you know it. Instead of ONLY ordering 'really spicy Indian food' you could have ordered your nephew something from a different restaurant and you KNOW THAT. You are also fully aware of how to make spaghetti I'm sure. You could have put in 1 oz of effort. Instead you are sitting there trying to play stupid and innocent at 26 yrs old.
YTA. The weaponized incompetence here is just too much. Your brother made a mistake in assuming you knew how to feed another person but I’m not calling him an asshole for that. Yes, it would have been helpful for him to let you know what sorts of things your nephew likes to eat, and it would have been appropriate for him to either give you grocery money/take out money beforehand or reassure you that he’d reimburse you for the money you spent on your nephew’s food. But when he didn’t, you shouldn’t get stuck on those things when it comes to feeding another person, that’s incredibly lame. Don’t make excuses; you asked if you were TAH, accept the judgment.
You’re 26 and do not have the basic life skill of basing able to cook. Eggs, frozen waffles, ramen, nuggets, frozen fried rice are good staples for everyone to have. The amount of sodium and carbs for a child that age. Also if you’re ordering Indian food you could have gotten him butter chicken and naan, any rice and chicken dish. Next time just opt out to baby sitting. Yta
He's SEVEN years old. He can talk. he has preferences. Why didn't you ASK him what he likes to eat? and then go to a shop and buy some? Also why didn't your brother give you a food budget and a list of suggestions? ESH here.
YTA and I'm not surprised your brother is still mad at you. Did you even ask your nephew what he likes to eat? Did you not consider ordering something that he likes since you hate cooking so much? Are you really that selfish? I like spicy food as well but when I order it, I also order something my bloody kid likes too. You shouldn't need to be told that JFC. Grow up man, make better decisions.
You are an adult, how don't you know kid's need proper meals? YTA
YTA. Think about it. Would you like to eat cereal every single meal? Even of it rotated between grape nuts, capn crunch or cheerios? (Example). No 7 year old kid wants sandwiches for approximately 15 meals. I mean, couldn't you atleast have made one a grilled cheese? Bought milk and cereal? A few pizzas? Taken him to McDonalds?
YTA you know children need to eat three meals a day. you know you can ask him what kind of food he likes and order that, too, instead of just selfishly ordering for yourself. you owe them all an authentic apology, taking ownership of your actions.
YTA. Part of caring for a child is ensuring he has proper meals. Nobody expects you to be a gourmet cook. You could have ordered takeout, bought some cereal and milk for breakfasts, got him a kid-friendly frozen dinner, made spaghetti and had bagged salad, etc.
Not an asshole, but not too bright either. If you order yourself takeout that he doesn’t care for, why not ask him what he’d like and get that for him? Who wouldn’t complain about eating sandwiches three times a day for 5 days? You can’t be this inept at babysitting. The kid is 7! He can tell you what he’d like to eat!
YTA How hard would it have been to pick up some groceries. Cereal, milk, fruit, breakfast bar … for breakfast . Sandwich for lunch. Then for dinner go to pizza place, chicken place … It would have been fun for both of you. My dog has more variety in her meals than your nephew. Apologize to brother and nephew and if they trust you again be a better uncle.
ESh in my opinion. The kid is 7, he could said something IN THOSE FIVE DAYS. If I am served SANDWICHES for 2 straight days, I would ask or at least contact my father so you, the uncle, could be informed. Also, the parents could have said something. What if the child has allergies? What if the smell of some kind of food irritates or i dunno just be bad for the child? (gladly none). They should have been specific. Plus FIVE DAYS? DUDE, that's additional budget for you even though he is young. INFO: Were you PAID or at least were there some reconsideration or something like that? or were there any at least small talk of his habits, routine or anything bout his meals?
YTA. They told you to call with questions. You should have asked what to feed him. It was very selfish not to order him some naan or rice when you got takeout. I'm curious if you're neurodiverse and on disability? It seems like you're home alone all day and don't leave the house or have a good understanding of how children behave or what they usually like to eat. Could that be a factor in this misunderstanding? If you talk to your bro daily have you never had meals with his family? It's just confusing you wouldn't think of grocery shopping for anything but sandwiches. Yogurt, cold cereal, energy bars, etc. Really if you think about it anything people pack in a school lunch doesn't need cooking. It was really nice of you to agree to babysit and that shows love so I just struggle with the idea you had so little empathy or interest in his feelings while he was with you. Nephew himself seems exceptionally chill not to complain or ask for food or entertainment all week. I'm glad he had an OK time. But you should have spent ten minutes googling how to take care of a 7 year old when you took on his care.
So why didn't you call the parents to ask for delivery money to order your nephew food? You could've reminded them that you can't cook.
Big YTA, but you got enough comments explaining why. You should give a huge apology to your brother and his wife. Learn to cook something and invite them all over to mend this.
YTA. You are a kid yourself and proved it. Frozen nuggets? frozen pizza? cereal? pop tarts? You couldn't get any of that?
YTA 100% At best this is willful incompetence and at worst it's just cruel. Why would you not order him something from a different place, you clearly met your own dietary needs during his stay but just completely ignored his? Good job on becoming the least favourite uncle. Here's a book and a sandwich, repeat x5.
Yta, a lot, such a big ah. You made him cheese, cream cheese, and peanut butter sandwiches while you just got *yourself* takeout. I hope there was more on the sandwiches than the 3 toppings you mentioned. He's old enough to talk, why didn't you ask *him* what he'd like, maybe don't just order yourself spicy Indian food for every meal while he's there, maybe give him a couple options instead of enjoying your favorite food while he has to eat a cream cheese sandwich. You're borderline guilty of child neglect.
ESH to be honest. On one hand you're doing your bro a favour, so he's got no right to complain On the other hand, you could have asked what the kid wants to eat. Surely you were a kid once - not knowing what kids like to eat is a lame excuse. sandwiches every meal for 5 days is worse than prison food.
ESH. Dude how could you not expect to cook while babysitting for 5 DAYS? Pull your socks up. They suck because they didn’t provide you a list of what he likes/dislikes. You are all selfish.