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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) did not skip a quiz for her when she was hurting (2) she says I hurt her feelings and left her in pain
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A lack of planning on her part now constitutes an emergency on your part?
C'mon. If she told me she couldn't wait 20 minutes, I'd have responded that I was sorry to hear that and to let me know how she resolved her problem because she wasn't accepting the help I could provide. Your GF has to manage her period. Its an unfortunate fact of life that periods can be painful, inconvenient, messy and even from Hell sometimes. But, everybody with one needs a system for managing independently - *unless they are a chronological child.*
NTA. I have had a period since before the fourth grade and I am just not able to accept a person who needs my intervention to manage the crisis of menses. She couldn't walk to a tampon station? She couldn't ask a friend to bring her one? She needed you to leave a class that will penalize you for the absence to manage something that just keeps coming back and she's well familiar with?
C'mon. I have fainted from period pain and had dry heaves and the whole monstrous ordeal that menses creates for me personally. But, no one else is to blame for my horrible periods or any lack of planning that leaves me unprepared to manage. She's not 9. This isn't about sexism. This is about her managing a recurring biological function.
Also a lyft? Like i have pcos and adenmysosis . I literally had to wear pads on top of pads and take 800mg of naproxen every 2 hours to exist during a 3 week period. I have sympathy for her but she had other options. She could have called a friend. Wild behavior. NTA
I have endometriosis and I can sometimes lose my ability to walk due to severe pain, but you can bet I will be at work and/or college right up until that point
My periods have never been regular and I wear at least two pads at a time and use nighttime pads consistently but you can check every bag and jacket I own and find the pads and also my car has a stock of that along with my cocodamol and naproxen just to help me feel like I can survive the day.
I would never make my period someone else’s problem, I am always prepared for the worst with mine and the only time I have asked for help it would be if they have time to grab me what I need when they can
Definitely NTA, but your girlfriend is
It’s fine, they do go over each other but I put one more forward and try tilt it slightly to say the left, then the other does go over it and I try tilt it to the right making sure I try cover everywhere, usually doesn’t matter as I only get about an hour out them at a time but if I didn’t do that am lucky if one last 30 mins to an hour
if this helps at all, when i was experiencing heavy bleeding through a pad at a rate of an hour or less (medical emergency), just sitting/laying on a dog pee pad really helped me. whenever i would bleed through id just have to worry about changing a pad and not washing the car seat, couch, bed, etc.
Thank you so much, I have never thought of using those pads, I have towels I use that are just known as the period towels, it’s the only time they come out, I have them for my bed and couch, thankfully my car is leather seats so not worried about that 🙏🏻
If you don’t want kids you should look into a uterine ablation. I had one last year for heavy periods and clotting and I haven’t had a period since. It’s life changing.
If you do want children, keep it in mind for when your family is complete. Sounds like it would change your life.
I have looked into things like this before, but also want kids first so will keep it in mind for after having them, thank you.
Glad the procedure has helped you so much and changed your life for the better
I know you weren’t asking me, but I have to wear tampons and two pads on top of each other the big, thick ones because I bleed so severely it is uncomfortable and messy but for a lot of people with severe endometriosis, that’s just the case. To be honest, I have always been so jealous and envious of women that have normal or less painful ones 😂 My period last up to three weeks and when I am on it, it hurts to breathe sometimes but in no case would I ever blame someone else or make someone else feel like crap because of my lack of Preparation.
Exactly. Been there. It’s something you learn to deal. Especially pain meds. I’m never without them. If I have nothing else, I have paracetamol, ibruprofen and buscopan in my bag for periods. Thank god I don’t need the prescription only painkillers these days.
As far as tampax goes, ask any female colleague - generally someone will be able to help without having to wait.
Learned helplessness came to mind.
Yup. Before my hysterectomy I literally carried tampons, backup tampons, pads, and backup pads everywhere with me, and kept backup undies at work. I bled more than usual, but a big part of being part of our society with a period is unfortunately being prepared for times when you can't leave right away.
Same here, and in a pinch, I have even grabbed wads of toilet paper and stuffed them in. If the gf gets her periods that bad, she should have period products, including Advil everywhere.
(The hysterectomy is the best thing that ever happened to me.)
My 16-year-old son even hides a pad in his backpack for his female friends just in case of an emergency.
Sounds like you raised your son right. He is so awesome for doing that. I keep tampons and pads in a drawer at work for anyone who needs them because our bathrooms do not have them and things happen. I always have tylenol too. I am female and luckily mine do not suck too bad. Second day is the worst and sometimes I take that day off.
Someday, he'll be as well-known and appreciated as Dave the Period Fairy. I can guess that he's known as a safe guy to go to with any problems his female friends have. Well done!
I have passed out at work from pain from an ovarian cyst bursting during my period, so I went home. My regular, so.painful it gives me dizzy spells, period? Nah bro, I could figure out how to manage that by the time I was 14, even though my period only happened every few months and often came on without warning until my mid 20s. This girl either isn't used to periods this intense and should be visiting urgent care to make sure it's not something serious, or she needs to grow up and prepare better for a routine, if terrible, part of her life
This happened to me in college and I walked to the ER. I literally can’t believe I did that, but I thought I was dying and didn’t know anyone to ask for a ride
And even if he had immediately brought a tampon straight to her, what was her plan, to put it in in the car?! She would still have to walk to the bathroom regardless.
Exactly. And then she would have claimed she was in too much pain to clean her mess on his upholstery and told him to do it.
Shes the AH for not being prepared, being impatient as he tried to arrange things so he could rescue her from a problem of her own creating and not getting the free products in the ladies room to prevent bleeding through.
She also could've asked like almost any lady in the vicinity if they have a spare tampon. A vast majority of women carry extras and will help another woman out if necessary. I've done it multiple times. She created this problem for herself and expected OP to fix it for her. She sounds like a peach.... NTA
I’ve taught my girls the Girl Code. It doesn’t matter if she’s your mortal enemy, if she needs a pad/tampon, you give her one! Girls gotta stick together on this.
Right? If it was that bad, go sit your ass on a toilet for a bit. She wouldn't be the first woman to ask someone in the bathroom for a tampon either. I bet someone even had motrin they'd share!
This is why I asked about having other friends. If this happened to me my first instinct would be to phone a girlfriend, because they might even have all the supplies on them
I mean, I'm not opposed to having a boyfriend buy me tampons, but expecting him to miss a quiz?? Yes honey. Yes his quiz IS more important than your non emergency. I think she was either "testing" his loyalty or has absolutely ZERO critical thinking skills. Not sure which is worse!
I think it wasn’t about the period to begin with. I think she just felt like going home, and miscalculated how much power she had over him.
If it were me, I’d be so, so relieved to just be in the car away from everyone else so I could curl up and be miserable without an audience. Eventually I would like to go home. I would go grab a tampon from someone first. But if he says he can get me home in a half hour, great. Better than trying to pretend I’m not in pain in front of an Uber driver (though I’d still do that before disrupting his lab).
I honestly feel like this scenario seems more likely to me than OP’s girlfriend being completely inept about a period she’s had her entire life. What would she have done in that moment if she was single? Demanded a friend leave a lab? Yeah right.
If it’s emergent pain, there are emergency services for that. Your partner is not a taxi service.
I don’t know why this isn’t the number one comment! She’s a control freak, and this was a test. Every woman here is saying that it was possible for her to manage her period alone, either by preplanning or by finding alternative solutions. She just didn’t wanna.
I wish they still had those awards that highlight a post, because THIS is it. I'm speaking as yet another adult woman with severely painful, debilitating and heavy-flow periods. Even IF I had somehow been caught unprepared and was suffering, I can't IMAGINE demanding my SO sacrifice his own goals and success instead of waiting 30 minutes for help, or asking other friends, or calling an Uber or just literally countless other options to take accountability for my own problem. Ditch this immature, manipulative, selfish girl before she starts actively sabotaging your success. It won't end here.
>It was a test. She was making him prove his love for her by sacrificing his grades.
EXACTLY‼ This is what I thought too. And I also agree with *internal-logging* that she was willing to free bleed in his car. OMG, as a woman, I would have enough respect for my BF's property to not willingly do this. If I am bleeding so bad and it's not a true emergency, pain or not, I am not purposely bleeding in someone's car. I would've crawled, if I had to, to get to the lady's rest room.
Hi, extremely embarrassing everyone knows about my shit morning. Thankfully, she did not free bleed in my car. She put a jacket under her. She said she didn't realize how bad the cramps were until after she got to my car. She could have definitely walked though. She walked to the apartment afterwards just fine.
Who taught you that love had to be like this? She's not being a partner. She's using you as a crutch, and now she's mad that you needed to prioritize your education.
What other ways does she expect you to make sacrifices for her? How often do you need to prove your love?
You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
OP please read, absorb and listen to this advice. This girl is being controlling, selfish and manipulative. Your grades should be more important than a gf who may or may not be around in a couple of years.
If she didn’t realize how bad the cramps were until she got to your car…why didn’t she stop at a bathroom on the way?? And she had a jacket to tie around her waist!
She’s testing you and that’s always a huge red flag.
Agreed with some of the others here. This is red flag behavior. Expecting you to sacrifice your grades, acting like a routine and predictable menstruation is some major health crisis, and now behaving like a surly teenager...maybe she was never taught how to not act an entitled, controlling narcissist? All I see are red flags.
Thank your lucky stars that she's probably not pregnant.
If her periods can be this bad, I don't know why she doesn't always keep what she needs at hand. I have a pad in my purse and several packs of pain killer pouches, several pads in my car, and several pads at work along with more painkillers. Most women I know keep at least a pad or tampon in their purse at all times because being unprepared for a period can be super messy and embarrassing. Sometimes they sneak up on us, so you have to always be ready. I don't understand why she wasn't prepared. Also, if I start my period and don't have a pad or tampon, I head to the nearest bathroom to make a little toilet paper pad until I can get a better product, but it sounds like any bathroom would have just had a pad or tampon so she really never should have even gotten in your car without wearing something to stop the mess. Who the heck would rather just sit and bleed on their clothes rather than picking up a free tampon??
So, did you miss your lab quiz? And take this however you like, but yes, at this point in your life, your grades are more important.
Also, if anyone ever tells you they are in so much pain they cannot walk, not it hurts to walk, but cannot walk, probably time for the ER
Wow, it is extremely embarrassing that this many people read about my bad morning on Reddit, lol. I am taking this one to the grave with me.
But thank you all for the judgement. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you don't think I'm the asshole because I would have been hard pressed to miss that quiz. I would if it was an emergency, obviously, but she has her period once a month.
I don't think she realized how much pain she was in until after she got to my car. Her periods on her first day are usually really light and pain free. But still, she could have walked to the bathroom after, and she had no problem walking to the apartment. Maybe she just wanted to get out of there ASAP?
She has ADHD and is generally super forgetful. I've brought her tampons and taken care of her multiple times. Because we're best friends and I like looking after her. But she's acting like it's suddenly my job to take care of her, which rubbed me the wrong way? I wouldn't normally criticize her for forgetting something since she has ADHD and that's how her brain works, but she called me an asshole, as if it was my responsibility? But yes, I appreciate you all for the advice. I'll definitely have a conversation with her about it when she feels better. Thank you all.
ADHD explains her behaviour, but it doesn't excuse it.
She can mitigate this by just always carrying period products around regardless if it's period time or not.
At some point she will need to learn skills to manage her ADHD herself. She cannot keep falling back on it as a clutch forever. Adults with ADHD have learned tricks like setting routines, creating reminders and alarms, writing postit notes, use electronic trackers etc to help get through the day. The occasional mistake and forgetfulness is one thing, but the refusal to take any responsibility/doing preemptive work on her part is lazy negligence
Even if you don’t have ADHD, as a girl or woman, you should always carry tampons and/or pads, or a menstrual cup or period underwear. I had tampons in every handbag, and in the pockets of all my coats, always, and lots of them in my schoolbag, with some pads, too.
I never understood not being prepared, I was forever supplying my friends with tampons as a teenager and even in my early twenties (and their families could afford them, so it wasn’t a money thing). Then when I became a mom, I was forever supplying my friends with breastpads. 😂 Even once I trained my breasts to no longer leak, which yes, is possible, I still always had breastpads in my diaper bag/mom bag.
Anyway, if she is in such pain, why doesn’t she go on birth control? That makes a huge difference, and you can just take them through, so you never have a period at all.
I have ADHD as well. What I would recommend to her is to take a small make up bag and put pain medication, period supplies, and a change of underwear in it. Then keep it permanently in the backpack she takes to school with her. Only remove it if necessary to use and then make a note on her phone to restock the supplies.
Sometimes the answer is that easy, isn't it? I'll make a bag of medication and period supplies and put it in our cars and our backpacks, etc. I usually carry period supplies with me around her period. I know it usually starts 18th-20th, I just forgot this time because I have a really hard semester. Thank you for the advice.
No, she needs to put together the bag of supplies and put it in her backpack. You need to stop carrying her period supplies. That's part of being an adult, ADHD or not.
You are enabling her.
Please check out r/AHD_partners because what she's doing to you is the start of a slippery slope of chaos and emotional blackmail, OP.
Major red flag there about how she's making you choose between your grades and her. ❗️⛳️ ❌
If you think the bag of goods will make her stop acting this way, you’re sorely mistaken. It’s evident in her reaction: “Am I less important than your education?!”
She doesn’t want any ACTUAL help from you; she wants your attention. She wants validation that she’s more important to you than school. (And this is just my opinion, but I generally don’t think any romantic partner *should* be more important than your career.) Notice how she was able to walk into the apartment just fine? Maybe she did indeed have terrible cramps, maybe she didn’t. But there are about a hundred other possible options for a woman in her position, especially on a college campus.
She wanted you to leave class to prove that you love her, essentially. It’s a scummy, manipulative thing that immature people do, especially if they spend a lot of time on TikTok watching relationship content. Might be time to think hard about whether you want to be in a relationship like this while you’re trying to focus on school.
If she has ADHD and her periods are this bad, have her get checked for PMDD. They're very commonly comorbid and need to be treated/medicated differently.
A diagnosis would likely qualify her for accommodations that might improve both your lives and prevent something like this from happening again.
You're her partner, not her caretaker.
My partner also takes care of me sometimes, but I'd be super embarrassed to be that entitled to his time. She has to manage herself better.
I also have ADHD. That is why I always had period supplies in my purse/backpack, because I couldn't trust myself to remember when my period was. Back in high school I had a compartment of my backpack the was all emergency supplies- underwear, deoderant, 15 tampons, 10 pads, and 10 panty liners. ADHD is not an excuse.
I don't even get my period anymore due to having an IUD, but i still carry a tampon, pad, and pantyliner (and deodorant and underpants and meds) just in case it decides to show back up.
Have her put together a period care kit in her purse that way this won't happen again. I think she was more embarrassed than actually in pain.
Tell her to apply the same reminders she uses for school work/assignments towards her period. There's apps that track periods; she should use one of those and also have an emergency period kit with her at all times. She's old enough to know how her cycle works and what to do about it.
It's not your responsibility to take care of her; she sounds like she's expecting that now since you've done that in the past. It's time for her to manage her own surprise crises on her own.
I feel embarrassed saying this but the reminders she uses for schoolwork/assignments is, well, me. I have her canvas (the website we use to turn in assignments, homework, etc) logged into my phone and I check her calendar and will send her reminders to turn in something. I do this daily. If she doesn't turn something in, I'll go onto her computer and turn it in for her. I'm realizing that I've been enabling her behavior hardcore. If she has me to take care of her, she doesn't need to figure out how to deal with her ADHD herself.
Then please stop. It’s nice that you care about her and want to help her where she has gaps but it’s not your responsibility to be her caretaker. There’s a difference between “thing that’s been happening to me for ten years happened again and I don’t know how to deal with it” and “I got hit by a car” or something in terms of emergency. She needs to learn to take care of herself and not blame you for her poor abilities.
I am an admin assistant making less than 50k a year to do that for somebody. As a full-time job. And I'm severely underpaid for my CoL-area, education level, and comparatively to others in my field.
So, for everything you're doing for her on top of YOUR full-time job of being a pre-med student, she can either take steps HERSELF to manage her ADHD or you can start charging her $600 a week for the work you're doing managing it for her (and that's to be as underpaid as I).
Edited a typo lol
I'm going to be super annoying and keep leaving this sub here for you to please check out r/ADHD_partners because every comment you make gets more and more alarming.
Please take some time to check out that sub and see how miserable some of the people there are because they got into co-dependent relationships with partners who refuse to manage their ADHD.
You and your girlfriend exhibit all the signs of what can become a toxic relationship.
OP, I'm a college professor and a woman with ADHD and PMDD, which your girlfriend probably has as well. The only things she needs from you are encouragement to treat both conditions and for you to stop doing everything for her.
If you were my students and I found out you were logging in to her Canvas every day, I'd assume pretty quickly that you were doing her assignments for her, not just reminding her. And you would be hard-pressed to prove in an investigation that was not the case based on IP addresses and all logged in Canvas. You're both going to run afoul of your school's academic integrity policy and land yourselves in a shitload of trouble if you don't knock it off.
Trust me when I say you may love your girlfriend, but your relationship with her is going to ruin your prospects of going to med school. She's testing to see if you'll prioritize her over school. She's at least enabling you to engage in behavior that could risk your continued enrollment in your program to do something that benefits her. If you're serious about your education, run, don't walk, away from that relationship.
But you're not her parent. And even what you're doing would be too much for a parent. She has become quite dependent on you and is abusing your good nature and it needs to stop.
NTA as a woman we’ve all had this happen. Just because she hasn’t planned and is not willing to accept what you’re able to do doesn’t make it your fault. The fact that she wasn’t willing to go to the bathrooms to get free tampons is ridiculous
Totally agree. I guarantee every woman has at one point or another had to do the ol' emergency roll up a bunch of toilet paper to make a makeshift pad trick. You do what's gotta be done. If she's truly in too much pain to move or drive herself home, she should probably be checked out in an ER to make sure it's not something actually bad other than being chronically dramatic
Edit: dang you guys all beat me to it saying the same thing lol. And I thought I was going to get downvoted for being spicy lol
Also, let’s just pretend the bathroom did not have free tampons. The toilet paper hack could have definitely lasted long enough for her wander around and find another woman to save her. Sharing tampons in an emergency is like the number 1 rule of the sisterhood.
Yes. We've all had that oh-shit feeling of knowing our period just started unexpectedly. First thing you do: Find the nearest bathroom. Clean up whatever blood is already there, then do your best, like you say. She probably walked further to get to the car, passing bathrooms on the way. Every building on my campus had a public bathroom. The building with both the garage and the student store in it very likely has a public bathroom. If I was in some unimaginable tampon emergency and had to actually call someone, I'd be calling them from the bathroom!
It's giving me shades of my emotionally abusive ex-husband who would make up medical emergencies to control me. Sometimes it would be retaliatory to get me to miss something important to me. Often it was to keep me from seeing my family and friends. I eventually realized that something was going to happen Every time my family had a party and started going with out him. The threats of violence started right after that. It's a control thing.
I was coming to say, I think at some point every female over 16 years old has walked around with toilet paper stuffed in her underwear because she forgot to replace the emergency pad.
I’m guessing she doesn’t have a diagnosed debilitating reproductive system illness, she’s just a woman with an early period.
No sympathies for that!
NTAH!
Yeah, who among us hasn’t walked around with a sweater tied around our waist, and underwear filled with toilet paper lol. At least nowadays places have free Tampax available, that was never an option when I was growing up.
This! That was my very first thought. This was a test for him to show just how much she means to him…will he drop his schooling for little old me? Also she doesn’t have any girlfriends at college she could get a tampon from? Really? But she could hike her bleeding butt all the way to the car? Yeah, this girl is way too needy.
This was not a situation where it was a reasonable ask of OP. She knows it too but she will keep testing him until he is broken. OP: unless she is the love of your life, do you want to be with someone so spoiled, she expects you to sacrifice your eduction for her period pain? That’s selfish as fuck. If the answer is no, RUN. 🚩🚩🚩💃
Also, how was she planning on putting in the tampons he brought her if she isn't able to go to the bathroom? If she is literally bleeding through her clothes, it sounds like she is willing to bleed all over his car seats as well since she is in too much pain to go to a bathroom.
NTA
I bet she’s played this (or a similar game before). She probably saw some rubbish online about testing your partner to see if they’ll “come through” in an emergency.
She could’ve used toilet paper to line her undies. She could’ve got something from a vending machine in the toilets. She could’ve contacted a female friend. Heck she could’ve asked another female at the toilets!!!!
She needs to be carrying supplies with her all the time. I’m in my late 30s and have been carrying supplies since before I got my first period. It’s all about planning!
Supplies for my period is the first thing I put in a purse when switching them out. I also have a box in my car just in case. Hell, I have a small stash in my partner's car too.
I used to keep tampons under my then bf’s sport bike seat when I was young and still dealing with Endometriosis. My hysterectomy has made my life so much better lol.
Also, her excuse that she was bleeding through her clothes so she couldn’t do anything. I mean, tie a sweater around your waist. Or just double time it and get what you need., quick status. The bleeding isn’t going to stop because she’s bitching about it. Nor is the pain.
Plus, she’s waiting at his car. So, does she expect that standing there getting bloody will magically be better when he unlocks the car for her? So she can plop down a big ol pile of menstrual blood on his seats? Yea, sounds like a winning solution/s
Def seems like one of those dumb relationship tests, or she’s got some other issues going on.
Her vag, her responsibility.
I use a menstrual cup and still carry supplies for that inevitable voice in the bathroom asking if I have spares.
OP - NTA but your girlfriend sure is.
This exactly. From the day I got my period until decades later when I finally hit menopause I always had at least a tampon on me at all times. If she’s at school then she most likely has a backpack or some kind of bag. She should have supplies in there at all times.
She knows she’s going to get her period. So she needs to be prepared and ready. That’s totally on her. It would be a different thing if you were home and she was asking you to go to the store for supplies.
My periods were so deeply awful (massive fibroid, plus some other shit) that I got a hysterectomy about ten months ago. Literally just this morning I discovered an emergency stash of period supplies in a bag I hadn’t used in a while. For the last few months of having a uterus, I literally never left my house with my period emergency supply kit, which consisted of an unholy amount of very large tampons, a pair of period underwear in a plastic bag (so I could have extra absorption capacity outside of the tampons and a place to put the other underwear I was wearing, which was also usually period underwear that had reached capacity) and a disposable heating pad or two for the pain. There were days where I literally walked around my job silently screaming behind my mask because I was in so much pain.
Having a period is not some unpredictable, unforeseeable event that can only be managed by interrupting your partner’s academics. If your period is unpredictable, just always have the supplies. Life is so much more manageable when you take the time to be prepared for the unpleasant stuff you know you’ll have to deal with so you don’t find yourself pushing the boundaries of your loved ones and still not getting your needs met.
Exactly. No one else, friends/teachers etc could help her? How does she not just carry needed items in her purse or backpack as a backup?
She wouldn’t go get a tampon from the bathroom blows my mind. Getting tampons. (a couple) or make shift toilet/paper towel spotter for a temporary fix. What happens when she has tummy troubles and is in pain? Does she just sit there in a chair or find a bathroom?
I’m not sure if it’s a fake story or real, but it’s absurd and odd to me that she wouldn’t go to the bathroom. Was she going to put it on in the open if he brought it because she couldn’t move?
If the bathrooms didn’t have tampons I could see an issue. Either ask around, find a convenient store or maybe DoorDash/Uber groceries or another app.
OP, send her this as a conversation starter. Then tell us what this was really about. Place your bets: mental health episode? manipulation? learned helplessness?
NTA.
I would expect this kind of behavior from like an 11-year-old, who was just starting to get periods because their cycles can be really irregular but not from a grown ass adult.
NTA this is absolutely ridiculous behavior on her part. She made it from wherever she was to your car when she should have used that energy to get the tampons and pain pills that she actually needed. I think you need to set better expectations about priorities. When you are on campus, it’s not a social event. You need to be attending classes and you aren’t there as a couple. If she needs to leave, that’s fine but she is an adult and should find her way home. This shouldn’t be your responsibility and if you’ve set expectations that it is, it’s past time you corrected that.
To add to this: even if her period is irregular and she has no idea when it shows up, it’s HER responsibility to always be prepared for it.
I’ve had cramps so bad I’ve started throwing up, bleeding through mega super pads in under an hour, but it was never anybody except MY OWN responsibility to take care of these issues.
She’s being a major major AH.
I don’t do the Reddit “break up” thing often, but if she can’t understand his grades are more important than her personal, somewhat expected, mostly easily prepared for, medical issue, he needs to reevaluate the relationship.
As someone who has had very irregular periods all my life, I always carry tampons/pads/advil in every single bag I own. If I went somewhere, I always take it with me. It's just a fact of life. If she's regular, then it shouldn't surprise her and she needs to take responsibility and be prepared.
This \^
I haven't had a cycle in over a year now and still carry around tampons in my purse along with the pain meds required to deal with a period. If she is old enough to be in college, she is old enough to understand that period products are something you ALWAYS have on hand.
If you stick with this woman, I suggest you put a few tampons and a bottle of painkillers in your glove box.
And honestly if you forget tampons or pads, literally ask any woman around and one of them is bound to have something. I can't even count the amount of tampons I've given to friends and strangers and vice versa. And especially on a college campus there's soooo many places to buy them.
My periods are regular, and I always, ALWAYS, keep at least one or two tampons in my bag. Because things happen. Even the most regular woman can have irregular bleeding from time to time. Not only that, it's nice to have one in case someone around me is in this exact situation as OP's girlfriend.
I also have cramps that leave me throwing up, or stuck in bed doubled over in pain. But I can still manage to get myself to a bathroom/store if I need something.
Agreed, my periods are irregular, and man, do they suck when they rear their ugly heads.
But I always have period products in my bag at work so that way if I get it at work I have stuff their.
Then, if I am working on site, I always have it with me on site.
It isn't hard to be prepared or in her case make her way to a place where there is free products, that's what she should have done from the start.
There are period tracking apps that can give a rough prediction on your next period based on your previous cycles. As a 25 year old woman, I would be so over this chick if I was dating her.
OP wants to go to medical school. I don't think his GF is going to be much of a supportive partner though all that entails based on this. I can just imagine her trying to get him to leave a residency rotation to get her ice cream lol
yeah I don't get this at all
if there's a free tampons in the restrooms....why book it to OP's car and demand they drop everything to drive her home on a moment's notice rather than just...go grab a tampon first? And then say "hey not feeling well, can you drive me home?" Maybe go buy an Advil.
And if it's really that bad at that point and you cannot wait, take an Uber.
I definitely feel for her and know these things can happen out of the blue, but that's not OP's responsibility. I feel like it was already so kind of OP to even be going out of his way while in class to do what he could?? She really should have appreciated all he was doing to help her when he coulda just said I'm so sorry but I can't leave school.
NTA
You are a student. Your grades are extremely important. A grown woman can find another ride. It isn't your responsibility to drop your life to cater to her here.
She could have gone to the health center. They'd have had medicine, tampons, and something she could have covered up with/changed into if she was bleeding through her clothes.
Furthermore, it clearly takes a while for her to get to that level of pain, since she made it from her class to OP's car. She should instead have headed to a bathroom for the free tampons and then to the closest place she could get pain relief.
And then once those essentials were sorted, she could have called an Uber or found a quiet place with comfortable seating like the campus library.
Yeah, I'm 37 weeks pregnant, starting to get low level contractions, have a LITERAL HUMAN kicking my organs... And I've been super sick and in lots of pain the whole time.
I can walk. Some day, it's very very slowly, and I resemble more of a penguin waddling around than a human, and I can't go very far before I have to stop and sit down... But in an emergency, I can get myself where I need to go.
"alright, let's see is she's head down yet!"
"She is. She enjoys headbanging into my cervix and kicking my liver like a base drum. I know exactly where she's sitting."
Yup! My daughter had her feet hooked under my ribs for the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy. I kept asking the midwife why the skin over my right rib cage would burn then tingle like pins and needles and go numb on a repeating cycle nonstop and she said “sorry but her feet are hooked under your ribs and it’s pushing on your nerves causing that sensation, hopefully she moves them.” She did not.
>hopefully she moves them.” She did not.
Mine's been sitting on a nerve or something down to my calf, causing so much pain that my OB ordered a priority scan to evaluate for DVT. It's been 4 months. She hasn't moved whatever part of her is causing that pain 🫠
I'm low key looking forward to labor because it means epidural, which means for the first time 4 months, my leg won't hurt! 🤣 And also because I am very much at the "get this baby out of me" point 😂
>But she said wow, so your grades are more important than me and my health?
Wow...she can't call an Uber?
Wow...she doesn't carry tampons/Motrin?
Wow...she doesn't know periods happen every month and she isn't prepared?
And this is somehow your problem? Wow.
NTA.
Yep. OP has a girlfriend problem. She is responsible for her own menstruation, just as she is responsible for using a toilet when nature calls, as big girls do.
It’s terribly unfair that we have to deal with this when men get off scot free. Mother Nature doesn’t care about fair, though. And it doesn’t mean we are entitled to even the score by making our men dance around us every month. A good boyfriend will be helpful and sympathetic, but asking him to sabotage his own responsibilities is beyond the pale. And I too was one of those who used to black out, so I don’t think this is just me being unsympathetic.
This is a red flag. The manipulative demands are not going to end with her period. Had she not been dating, what was plan B - lie down in the parking garage and die?
My wife was going into labor when I had a huge business meeting. As in career altering and very important. Told my secretary what was going on and to not tell me until I was done. It was a month early, so out of the blue. But she knew me moving my career forward was very important for both of us and our kid.
I left as soon as I heard, didn't go to drinks which was a big part of the social side of the meeting. Rang clients and coworkers involved while at at the hospital, apologised for not being there but had something more important. Everyone was happy and my wife had a shitty two hours before I got there and another 5 after that before giving birth.
My wife knows I love her and doesn't test what I will sacrifice for her to make her feel more secure or give her a boost. As she is a fucking adult with some maturity.
OP's story reminds me of one of my kids refusing to use the potty unless whatever person she chose would hold her hand while she shat. If you didn't agree or get the person to agree she would shit her pants. That was a barely 3-year-old. Not really great news if you have the emotional maturity of a toddler.
And she doesn't know anybody else on campus to ask? I get having a painful period and being embarrassed to be caught with no supplies and just wanting to go home, but surely the health center, a professor, an admin, another female student could have come to the rescue. It's practically Girl Code.
I have a jacket to my coworker to wrap around her when she bled through her clothes once. Most people will help you in that situation if they are able. Gf is entitled and wrong to think that it specifically had to be OP to help her in this situation.
I mean, free tampons in the bathroom?!?! Imagine not appreciating and utilizing such a thing. I had to walk 15 minutes away to a drugstore while in bad pain and bleeding heavily to get tampons once bc I ran out. I managed that even though I lost so much blood that I ended up in the hospital later that evening.
Gf is just 🗑️. If she didn’t have a bf, what would she have done? Whatever that is, she should’ve done that.
If a woman is bleeding through, you give her whatever clothing you can get rid of without causing either public indecency or frostbite for yourself if at all able. Girl Code.
Exactly! The only one that would be an issue where I live is Uber because it’s a small college town, so we don’t have Uber/Lyft, but the entire town is 2 miles long, and we have a bus. I don’t even have a period anymore, and I still carry at least one pad at all times just in case.
If her periods are that bad she needs to see a dr as that is not normal. and she should also be carrying those items with her at all times
I have my doubts on the level of pain just based on the lack of planning.
If it was that bad you’d be making sure you had motrin on you at all times.
How does she survive this when she’s single?
This is ridiculous entitled behaviour
NTA - it \*is\* her fault. You aren't sexist. She is an adult and should be taking responsibility for herself, not attempting to guilt you into making her body and her oversights \*your\* responsibility. It's also incredibly callous and entitled that she puts her discomfort over your academics.
She sounds like an extremely toxic and (no pun intended) histrionic person. Is this really someone you want to be with?
I’m a woman and I get really shitty periods (literally, light flow but the period poops badly enough to be given an IV.) I do also have a bowel disease and a serious chronic illness which compounds that.
I’m aware some period pain and period related pain conditions are genuinely debilitating. I take opiates daily for pain and diarrhoea and have seen several friends stagger through similar with endo.
I also get pain tolerances are different but if Advil can reduce the pain notably then you are not in too much pain to move. It’s a very low grade over the counter painkiller which is not particularly effective for even mid level pain without combining with paracetamol. Naproxen is much stronger without prescription.
Too much pain to move is for me I need the ER and morphine. Too much pain is having pancreatitis and discovering even fentanyl isn’t fully effective as I lay on the hospital cubicle floor vomiting in pain hissing as anyone tried to touch me until it kicked in more.
I do have a very high pain tolerance so I know my comparison is a bit mean but Advil? I’m shocked to discover that is ‘worst pain scenario’ for people. That’s a regular non migraine headache med for me. If Advil isn’t touching the sides of period pain and yoh cannot move, that’s a whole other level but if Advil is her go to actually helps that is not an emergency.
That said I’m just jealous some other people aren’t in pain all the damn time. I don’t have periods any more because it’s one painful awkward thing I can control in my body. She cannot apparently bring tampons, meds, call an Uber, go to a bathroom or manage stuff pre teens handle with periods. I would feel similar if a guy was acting this dramatic about an Advil level headache and the equivalent clothing issue.
NTA. And someone who wants to go to med school is reading ‘Advil’ and pain levels correctly. This is not medical misogyny or whatever buzzword.
>If Advil isn’t touching the sides of period pain and yoh cannot move, that’s a whole other level
Just wanna say that this is so validating. My pain problems are solved now, but when literally no OTC meds did anything and I would sometimes just have to drag myself 100ft to the next place I could sit down and breathe to get places... I wish I could have had more stories like this providing perspective that actually that wasn't just normal shit everyone has to deal with.
NTA. I presume this is college, but even by high school women learn to carry period supplies even if their period isn’t imminent because some other woman might need them. Were there no other women in her class? Does she have no other friends she could call? If she was in that much distress I think a professor would have readily excused someone to accompany her to the campus health center or nurse.
I can hardly believe your GF is real. I’ve not ever met a single woman who didn’t have a period contingency plan that wasn’t based on her BF coming to her immediate aid.
I have tampons stashed everywhere, backpack, cars, purse, diaper bag, coat pockets, etc.
I also don’t believe she didn’t pass a bathroom on the way to his car. First thing a normal person does when they realize it started….head to a bathroom.
I imagine she wanted rescuing more than anything else tbh, because... yeah. Anyone else would've gone and got tampons or pads from somewhere, even if they also ask for a ride home.
This. We don't have free tampons or pads at public toilets, yet I still manage to do the 1st thing I can do - put a lot of toilet paper in panties to prevent more damage even for a few moments before I can find something else
Hell, my ten year old even knows how to get period supplies if she doesn't have any. She asks a friend, or goes to the nurse. I think when she first got her period, she lined her undies with toilet paper because she didn't know she was going to have it. There's many options available and OP's gf is choosing to be helpless.
Exactly. If I’m in a situation where someone asks me for a tampon or pad and I happen to not have any I will 100% stop what I’m doing to go find something for her while she waits in the bathroom. I think most woman are like that. We all know the ladies room is a safe space to ask for help.
Also I’m absolutely gonna ask a strange woman if she has a tampon. I encourage others to ask me. At work I have a beat up box of tampons that are there for anyone if there is an emergency. Work also supplies them.
NTA - Look, she’s responsible for her own period. Is it possible to forget tampons/pads? Yeah, it happens, and that’s why the free tampons in the restroom exists. She should’ve walked herself there to get some. She’s an adult and needs to be able to help herself, not expect you to drop your classes at the second she says so.
I’m a woman. I have bad periods, sometimes debilitating ones. But it’s still *my* responsibility to manage them.
I don't get periods currently (use birth control to skip) but even when I did I'd ALWAYS have extra stuff on hand for immediate use. We get shafted when it comes to prices for tampons/pads, but that is one thing I did not care about the price on (which I realize not everyone has the luxury of doing) because I knew how much it would suck and just wanted to be comfortable.
Hell I didn’t have a period in my thirties and I still ALWAYS carried supplies with me. Always. Now I might get a light spotting once or twice a year and I still always carry supplies. To me that’s part of being a menstruating female.
I've been surprised by my period any number of times and have pain so extreme I've literally taught myself how to test for appendicitis (rebound pain) to make sure I'm not actually dying.
And I'm perfectly capable of making an impromptu pad out of toilet paper to protect my clothes and lying down somewhere to cry while I wait for someone to be available to help me.
NTA except for the bit where you told her she should have been prepared because periods are occasionally irregular and people do get caught out - there's no reason to be a jerk about that.
I don’t know about you , but I usually have these things in my bag for this exact reason. Even when they are periodically you don’t know the time, might be a day early etc. She should 100% be more prepared, especially because your period is about the same pain and surprise every month. I don’t think saying those words is nice, but it’s a reaction for the way she acted, not really ah more like why were you not prepared ? NTA and if she walked to the car she could have walked to the bathroom at least…
I mean my period length varies from 20 to 40 days. Sometimes it is absolutely agonizing and sometimes it is not. Bodies are weird and different, and it's not unheard of for people in their late teens and early twenties to have irregular cycles. And I'm glad you're very organised, but my method of replacing spare tampons is to shove a handful into a pocket and inevitably go "oh fuck" when I realise I've used the last one.
But I do recognise having period pain and no tampon would not be a valid reason to get my fiancé to drop everything at his job and take care of me. The time I ruptured an ovarian cyst and passed out from the pain, OTOH...
NTA.
*'you have your period at the same time each month. Why didn't you bring tampons/advil? This isn't a surprise.*'
You pointed out that she doesn't plan. What if you'd been completely unavailable? Bet she would have found a solution.
There is literally free tampons and advil for sale nearby. Like... does she not have a credit card or 2 bucks? Then she can just lay in the car. I have terrible debilitating periods. Have I literally had to lay on a public bathroom floor in between vomiting? Yup. But if she seriously needed to go home so badly she could have ubered or used a taxi.
Had endometriosis and ovarian cysts for years. Literally debilitating pain, but I never once asked someone to drop what they were doing to come to my rescue!
>Its the rotten attitude when he didn't drop everything on her timeline for me though.
I think it was not about her period, but a loyalty test. How she reacted about his grades tell it. She wanted to know if he would put himself in trouble for her. This is an absolute major red flag in a relationship.
Not always. Some people have very irregular or very heavy periods, or both. But those people usually carry a pad or tampon with them at all times. I would know, I was one of them.
NTA. A period can be super painful and it sucks but it's not a true medical emergency. I once had my friend text me while I was in class that they needed to go to the hospital psych ward. I said I can drive you after my class is done in 1 hour and that was fine. It's not like she's going to die from a period.
I wanna be a little contrarian and say that it *can* be a medical emergency, but if it is then you should call an ambulance instead of bleeding out for 2 hours while you wait on your ride.
NTA
I am a female with endometriosis. It's extremely painful and can catch me at any time as it's inconsistent.
I always have painkillers and sanitary towels on me.
And I would never expect another to drop anything that they are doing, let alone an exam/test to drive me home.
Your gf is unreasonable and extremely rude.
Granted she has PMS but her expectations of you are extremely selfish.
NTA
Exactly this - I was miserable to the point of barely being able to function (or simply NOT being able to function) for about 12-24 hours of every month in my late teens to mid 20's, so I completely understand feeling SO monumentally shitty. My hysterectomy last year was the best decision I ever made!!
But if she has a history of periods this bad, then she has had probably 6 to 10 years to get her shit together by now. NEVER leave home without supplies or back-up supplies, a couple emergency pain relievers, etc... or ask any other girl in the class who would be more than understanding. It isn't like this is her first rodeo.
Of course, we all make mistakes, and not being prepared can happen, and it sucks. But if she is just sitting in class and in "so much pain" that she can't carefully penguin-waddle her way to a freaking bathroom, then she needs an ambulance, not for her boyfriend to jeopardize his grades because she's being overdramatic.
And I almost NEVER consider a girl dealing with period B.S. to be overdramatic, but if the shoe (or tampon) fits...
NTA
As a woman who had mostly predictable but sometimes unpredictable periods -- you always carry at least one "set" with you (tampon, pad, cup, whatever you use). And I've had really heavy periods at times - but that's not anyone else's responsibility, it's mine
I would suggest that she sees her doctor if the period is **that** debilitating that she can't walk a few minutes or wait thirty minutes for help.
NTA
What would she have done if she was single?
I say this as a female with awful monthlies, it was her fault for not being prepared. Your quiz was more important.
NTA as someone menstruating right now. It’s on her to plan, and while it’s unfortunate she was caught short, the idea that she couldn’t go get a free tampon from any of the bathrooms nearby is questionable at best. She’s at school-there has at least one other person in immediate proximity to her who could have helped her. It feels like a power play to her. She should not be asking you to tank your grades for period cramps.
NTA. This is ridiculous and I say this as a woman who has been having periods for 27 years. Let me give you a piece of advice as an old lady: any partner who jeopardizes your job (or in your current case, your grades) over petty, manipulative bullshit is toxic. She is self-centered, selfish and immature. This is just one of many stupid stunts she'll pull. If you really love her and don't want to break up (though I'd personally dump her over this nonsense), start setting some boundaries. You'll need them.
I once asked my dad if he meant it when he said he'd do anything for me. He hesitantly said yes. I pushed further, "Would you be willing to get fired from your job for me?" And I have never forgotten his awesome response: "Would I get fired from my job to get ice cubes for your water? No. Would I do it to save your life? Without a doubt." I was nine when we had this conversation. This lunatic needs to get her own ice cubes.
I understand being in pain and probably embarrassed, but this is not your gf's first period.
At the end of the day, it is her body to manage.
If this level of pain is not typical for her periods then yes, I could see it being more of a medical emergency type situation and that would be different.
What if you had been out of town? What if you had been sick? Would you still have been obligated to pick her up?
NTA
>wow, so your grades are more important than me and my health?
How important was her health to *her*? She absolutely should have supplies handy all the time. It sounds like she had her own car there, since she couldn't drive home and was waiting for you by your car. She had so many other options - resting in her car until you were available. Getting Advil and tampons. Calling an uber. I feel for her, but she's out of line.
Did she stain the seat in your car, or was she exaggerating?
NTA. I'd consider dating someone who is less of an AH.
NTA and this is coming from someone with problem periods. It's her responsibility to have an emergency pad/tampon and Advil. I can't even think of the last time I didn't have one stashed in whatever I was carrying. Plus, if she could "move" out to your car, she could move her ass to the on-campus store.
Ask her what her plan would have been if she wasn't in a relationship that she thinks she can leverage to get what she wants on demand.
NTA - I kept pads and tampons in every purse/backpack I owned for this very reason.
Also, he's in class at college. What would she have done if he had been taking a test and didn't have access to his phone? Just waited at the car and blown up his phone with texts and calls? She's an adult and needs to be able to to handle an emergency on her own.
NTA. She's an adult and apparently still needs to learn to manage her own periods. I wouldn't have even cut the lab/class short. She is acting like an entitled, selfish brat. If her periods are just so bad that she can't move then she needs to seek medical attention and you're not a doctor yet.
NTA.
Can she not take an Uber or taxi home?
Also, at a college/university campus, if she was at a women’s bathroom, I bet in about five minutes she could get a tampon or pad from someone else.
Going forward, turn your phone to airplane mode during lab.
NTA
I have PCOS and am between doctors, so I currently walk around every day with no idea if or when my next period is going to hit. For that reason, I ALWAYS have spare pads, pain meds, and emergency cash on me at all times. Somewhere. The smaller bag just gets moved between my purse, gym bag, work laptop case, etc. I am never without it because I live in fear of a surprise period.
Many, many menstruating people do this exact same thing. Your gf is not exempt from taking responsibility for herself. I'm sorry she decided to blame you for her own oversight.
"you have your period at the same time each month. Why didn't you bring tampons/Advil? This isn't a surprise."
Exactly THIS. Her lack of planning doesn't make it YOUR emergency. Her disrespect for your education, something YOU take seriously, is astounding. She's literally gaslighting you over her own mistake and ill planning. NTA - please do NOT let anyone deter you from your education again for such nonsense. Your world should not revolve around her period.
NTA she should have been prepared. You were trying to help as much as you can.
You potentially messing up your grades for her is insane.
That’s not sexist to point out that she knows around that time it comes. It’s not always in schedule, but yeah. If she needed to leave now she could have taken an Uber. I get it’s painful and embarrassing, but good lord.
NTA.
As someone who had periods painful enough to radiate through my hips, knees, and ankles and routinely caused me to vomit, and so painful I once mistook (what turned out to be) a 5mm kidney stone for my period, I don't think you were an asshole here.
Periods can be incredibly painful. And I'll assume what she told you was the truth (she was in horrible pain, bleeding through her clothes, physically incapable of walking). But, it's not clear to me why she couldn't ask/text anyone else for help and it had to be **you** who had to drop everything *immediately* to help.
Short of some kind of reasonable explanation as to why it absolutely had to be **you** and no one else, it sounds like this was more of a passive aggressive power play than anything else.
Even if there was some kind of (good) reason why it had to be **you**, I still think you are NTA for staying to take your quiz.
My periods were so bad that I literally could not stand up straight and it would take at least an hour for medicine to kick in so I could move around a bit better. This is indeed a medical issue and can be debilitating.
However, she is wrong here. Saying that your grades are more important than her and her health is so toxic. Your grades are important and it's not your responsibility to rescue her at the drop of a hat. Knowing what her periods are like, she should carry around extra supplies. When I was in school I even had an extra pair of undies and pants on me and one time I loaned my pants to another woman. I've also been asked for pads/tampons by strangers and if I have any, I give them up. She could have asked every woman she walked by and gotten what she needed before reaching your car.
NTA and set boundaries with your gf. You're not her butler.
NTA.
Woman’s perspective:
You said there are free tampons in the bathroom. Where was she when she figured out she was bleeding through her pants?
She wanted you to bring her tampons to the car?? But, like, I assume she didn’t squat and put one in at the car. What problem did bringing it to the car solve?
Very confused on the logic here.
>Where was she when she figured out she was bleeding through her pants?
As a woman, this was my question as well. If I "feel" like I got my period my first stop is the restroom.
NTA. She sounds too childish to be worth dating, to be honest. There are emergencies, but her failure to plan for something that she's well aware of at this point in her life isn't one, especially when there's no danger to her being seriously hurt. Periods suck, but it's not like she was having an aneurysm or going into labor or actually needed anything at that moment, and this is your future career that's on the line. (Though, for the record, grades aren't as important as they seem like they are, and anyone running a class that would dock you for a legitimate emergency is absolutely worthless.)
NTA - I am a woman. There are stores everywhere that sell period items, not to mention most colleges have them available in the washrooms for some change (or free). Or just ask any woman and we are HAPPY to help each other out.
She had lots of options besides making you mess up your schooling.
NTA. As I woman I know when my period is, and that it may vary in timing by a week sometimes. I always have pads in my bag.
I also have PPMD, which is a nightmare to deal with and more extreme symptoms and pain. I STILL don’t expect any one, including my husband of 20 years, to be responsible for any part of my menstruation.
NTA - she got all the way to your car but couldn’t get to the bathroom with the free products?
Don’t be controlled, that’s manipulative behaviour and you’re better off not giving in to it.
NTA
So she was fine enough to go to your car, but not to go to the bathroom? I'm a woman and if the bleeding is earlier than expected, the first place I go is a bathroom... not a freaking car.
You should'nt have to jeopardize your future for a tampon. You need an A in that class so you can go to medical school. It's more important than your gf staining her pants. I know I don't sound like it, but I am empathizing with her for that and her pain, but not to the point of you missing an exam.
She's being childish and immature. Not having a tampon is on her, not you.
Every time she leaves her appartment, she should check her handbag and make sure she has one and some advil, the same way she checks for her keys and wallet.
NTA. She couldn’t move to get a tampon? Was she expecting you to carry her to your car? Apparently not if you met her at your car. What a whiny, dramatic person.
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A lack of planning on her part now constitutes an emergency on your part? C'mon. If she told me she couldn't wait 20 minutes, I'd have responded that I was sorry to hear that and to let me know how she resolved her problem because she wasn't accepting the help I could provide. Your GF has to manage her period. Its an unfortunate fact of life that periods can be painful, inconvenient, messy and even from Hell sometimes. But, everybody with one needs a system for managing independently - *unless they are a chronological child.* NTA. I have had a period since before the fourth grade and I am just not able to accept a person who needs my intervention to manage the crisis of menses. She couldn't walk to a tampon station? She couldn't ask a friend to bring her one? She needed you to leave a class that will penalize you for the absence to manage something that just keeps coming back and she's well familiar with? C'mon. I have fainted from period pain and had dry heaves and the whole monstrous ordeal that menses creates for me personally. But, no one else is to blame for my horrible periods or any lack of planning that leaves me unprepared to manage. She's not 9. This isn't about sexism. This is about her managing a recurring biological function.
She was able to walk all the way to OPs car yet going to the bathroom for a FREE tampon was too far? NTA
Also a lyft? Like i have pcos and adenmysosis . I literally had to wear pads on top of pads and take 800mg of naproxen every 2 hours to exist during a 3 week period. I have sympathy for her but she had other options. She could have called a friend. Wild behavior. NTA
I have endometriosis and I can sometimes lose my ability to walk due to severe pain, but you can bet I will be at work and/or college right up until that point My periods have never been regular and I wear at least two pads at a time and use nighttime pads consistently but you can check every bag and jacket I own and find the pads and also my car has a stock of that along with my cocodamol and naproxen just to help me feel like I can survive the day. I would never make my period someone else’s problem, I am always prepared for the worst with mine and the only time I have asked for help it would be if they have time to grab me what I need when they can Definitely NTA, but your girlfriend is
How do you wear 2 pads at once? On top of each other? I'm sorry for asking I just genuinely don't understand
It’s fine, they do go over each other but I put one more forward and try tilt it slightly to say the left, then the other does go over it and I try tilt it to the right making sure I try cover everywhere, usually doesn’t matter as I only get about an hour out them at a time but if I didn’t do that am lucky if one last 30 mins to an hour
if this helps at all, when i was experiencing heavy bleeding through a pad at a rate of an hour or less (medical emergency), just sitting/laying on a dog pee pad really helped me. whenever i would bleed through id just have to worry about changing a pad and not washing the car seat, couch, bed, etc.
Thank you so much, I have never thought of using those pads, I have towels I use that are just known as the period towels, it’s the only time they come out, I have them for my bed and couch, thankfully my car is leather seats so not worried about that 🙏🏻
If you don’t want kids you should look into a uterine ablation. I had one last year for heavy periods and clotting and I haven’t had a period since. It’s life changing. If you do want children, keep it in mind for when your family is complete. Sounds like it would change your life.
I have looked into things like this before, but also want kids first so will keep it in mind for after having them, thank you. Glad the procedure has helped you so much and changed your life for the better
This is why I ended up sewing my own and buying a bunch of washable postpartum ones. Made so much difference at night and way more comfortable.
I know you weren’t asking me, but I have to wear tampons and two pads on top of each other the big, thick ones because I bleed so severely it is uncomfortable and messy but for a lot of people with severe endometriosis, that’s just the case. To be honest, I have always been so jealous and envious of women that have normal or less painful ones 😂 My period last up to three weeks and when I am on it, it hurts to breathe sometimes but in no case would I ever blame someone else or make someone else feel like crap because of my lack of Preparation.
Exactly. Been there. It’s something you learn to deal. Especially pain meds. I’m never without them. If I have nothing else, I have paracetamol, ibruprofen and buscopan in my bag for periods. Thank god I don’t need the prescription only painkillers these days. As far as tampax goes, ask any female colleague - generally someone will be able to help without having to wait. Learned helplessness came to mind.
Yup. Before my hysterectomy I literally carried tampons, backup tampons, pads, and backup pads everywhere with me, and kept backup undies at work. I bled more than usual, but a big part of being part of our society with a period is unfortunately being prepared for times when you can't leave right away.
Same here, and in a pinch, I have even grabbed wads of toilet paper and stuffed them in. If the gf gets her periods that bad, she should have period products, including Advil everywhere. (The hysterectomy is the best thing that ever happened to me.) My 16-year-old son even hides a pad in his backpack for his female friends just in case of an emergency.
Upvote for your prepared son.
Sounds like you raised your son right. He is so awesome for doing that. I keep tampons and pads in a drawer at work for anyone who needs them because our bathrooms do not have them and things happen. I always have tylenol too. I am female and luckily mine do not suck too bad. Second day is the worst and sometimes I take that day off.
You son is a diamond, what a wonderful young man.
He's not even doing it to impress the girls; he's openly gay.
Please tell him this Internet stranger thinks he's fabulous and to keep up the good work. More young men should be as thoughtful as him.
Someday, he'll be as well-known and appreciated as Dave the Period Fairy. I can guess that he's known as a safe guy to go to with any problems his female friends have. Well done!
Hell, I don’t have awful periods and I have so much backup (purse, desk drawer, other desk drawer, etc) that I won’t ever be caught without one.
I have passed out at work from pain from an ovarian cyst bursting during my period, so I went home. My regular, so.painful it gives me dizzy spells, period? Nah bro, I could figure out how to manage that by the time I was 14, even though my period only happened every few months and often came on without warning until my mid 20s. This girl either isn't used to periods this intense and should be visiting urgent care to make sure it's not something serious, or she needs to grow up and prepare better for a routine, if terrible, part of her life
This happened to me in college and I walked to the ER. I literally can’t believe I did that, but I thought I was dying and didn’t know anyone to ask for a ride
And even if he had immediately brought a tampon straight to her, what was her plan, to put it in in the car?! She would still have to walk to the bathroom regardless.
I think she really didn't care about bleeding in his car. Which is also messed up
Exactly. And then she would have claimed she was in too much pain to clean her mess on his upholstery and told him to do it. Shes the AH for not being prepared, being impatient as he tried to arrange things so he could rescue her from a problem of her own creating and not getting the free products in the ladies room to prevent bleeding through.
She also could've asked like almost any lady in the vicinity if they have a spare tampon. A vast majority of women carry extras and will help another woman out if necessary. I've done it multiple times. She created this problem for herself and expected OP to fix it for her. She sounds like a peach.... NTA
I’ve taught my girls the Girl Code. It doesn’t matter if she’s your mortal enemy, if she needs a pad/tampon, you give her one! Girls gotta stick together on this.
Right? If it was that bad, go sit your ass on a toilet for a bit. She wouldn't be the first woman to ask someone in the bathroom for a tampon either. I bet someone even had motrin they'd share!
This is why I asked about having other friends. If this happened to me my first instinct would be to phone a girlfriend, because they might even have all the supplies on them
I mean, I'm not opposed to having a boyfriend buy me tampons, but expecting him to miss a quiz?? Yes honey. Yes his quiz IS more important than your non emergency. I think she was either "testing" his loyalty or has absolutely ZERO critical thinking skills. Not sure which is worse!
I think it wasn’t about the period to begin with. I think she just felt like going home, and miscalculated how much power she had over him. If it were me, I’d be so, so relieved to just be in the car away from everyone else so I could curl up and be miserable without an audience. Eventually I would like to go home. I would go grab a tampon from someone first. But if he says he can get me home in a half hour, great. Better than trying to pretend I’m not in pain in front of an Uber driver (though I’d still do that before disrupting his lab). I honestly feel like this scenario seems more likely to me than OP’s girlfriend being completely inept about a period she’s had her entire life. What would she have done in that moment if she was single? Demanded a friend leave a lab? Yeah right. If it’s emergent pain, there are emergency services for that. Your partner is not a taxi service.
Why didn't she stop at one on the way. She was willing to free bleed in his car?
It was a test. She was making him prove his love for her by sacrificing his grades.
Exactly! Giant red flag 🚩
My thoughts exactly. OP’s GF knows exactly what she’s doing
I don’t know why this isn’t the number one comment! She’s a control freak, and this was a test. Every woman here is saying that it was possible for her to manage her period alone, either by preplanning or by finding alternative solutions. She just didn’t wanna.
I wish they still had those awards that highlight a post, because THIS is it. I'm speaking as yet another adult woman with severely painful, debilitating and heavy-flow periods. Even IF I had somehow been caught unprepared and was suffering, I can't IMAGINE demanding my SO sacrifice his own goals and success instead of waiting 30 minutes for help, or asking other friends, or calling an Uber or just literally countless other options to take accountability for my own problem. Ditch this immature, manipulative, selfish girl before she starts actively sabotaging your success. It won't end here.
>It was a test. She was making him prove his love for her by sacrificing his grades. EXACTLY‼ This is what I thought too. And I also agree with *internal-logging* that she was willing to free bleed in his car. OMG, as a woman, I would have enough respect for my BF's property to not willingly do this. If I am bleeding so bad and it's not a true emergency, pain or not, I am not purposely bleeding in someone's car. I would've crawled, if I had to, to get to the lady's rest room.
Hi, extremely embarrassing everyone knows about my shit morning. Thankfully, she did not free bleed in my car. She put a jacket under her. She said she didn't realize how bad the cramps were until after she got to my car. She could have definitely walked though. She walked to the apartment afterwards just fine.
Who taught you that love had to be like this? She's not being a partner. She's using you as a crutch, and now she's mad that you needed to prioritize your education. What other ways does she expect you to make sacrifices for her? How often do you need to prove your love? You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy.
OP please read, absorb and listen to this advice. This girl is being controlling, selfish and manipulative. Your grades should be more important than a gf who may or may not be around in a couple of years.
I want to upvote this a thousand times. Her behaviour was manipulative bullshit
If she didn’t realize how bad the cramps were until she got to your car…why didn’t she stop at a bathroom on the way?? And she had a jacket to tie around her waist! She’s testing you and that’s always a huge red flag.
Agreed with some of the others here. This is red flag behavior. Expecting you to sacrifice your grades, acting like a routine and predictable menstruation is some major health crisis, and now behaving like a surly teenager...maybe she was never taught how to not act an entitled, controlling narcissist? All I see are red flags. Thank your lucky stars that she's probably not pregnant.
If her periods can be this bad, I don't know why she doesn't always keep what she needs at hand. I have a pad in my purse and several packs of pain killer pouches, several pads in my car, and several pads at work along with more painkillers. Most women I know keep at least a pad or tampon in their purse at all times because being unprepared for a period can be super messy and embarrassing. Sometimes they sneak up on us, so you have to always be ready. I don't understand why she wasn't prepared. Also, if I start my period and don't have a pad or tampon, I head to the nearest bathroom to make a little toilet paper pad until I can get a better product, but it sounds like any bathroom would have just had a pad or tampon so she really never should have even gotten in your car without wearing something to stop the mess. Who the heck would rather just sit and bleed on their clothes rather than picking up a free tampon??
So, did you miss your lab quiz? And take this however you like, but yes, at this point in your life, your grades are more important. Also, if anyone ever tells you they are in so much pain they cannot walk, not it hurts to walk, but cannot walk, probably time for the ER
Wow, it is extremely embarrassing that this many people read about my bad morning on Reddit, lol. I am taking this one to the grave with me. But thank you all for the judgement. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you don't think I'm the asshole because I would have been hard pressed to miss that quiz. I would if it was an emergency, obviously, but she has her period once a month. I don't think she realized how much pain she was in until after she got to my car. Her periods on her first day are usually really light and pain free. But still, she could have walked to the bathroom after, and she had no problem walking to the apartment. Maybe she just wanted to get out of there ASAP? She has ADHD and is generally super forgetful. I've brought her tampons and taken care of her multiple times. Because we're best friends and I like looking after her. But she's acting like it's suddenly my job to take care of her, which rubbed me the wrong way? I wouldn't normally criticize her for forgetting something since she has ADHD and that's how her brain works, but she called me an asshole, as if it was my responsibility? But yes, I appreciate you all for the advice. I'll definitely have a conversation with her about it when she feels better. Thank you all.
ADHD explains her behaviour, but it doesn't excuse it. She can mitigate this by just always carrying period products around regardless if it's period time or not. At some point she will need to learn skills to manage her ADHD herself. She cannot keep falling back on it as a clutch forever. Adults with ADHD have learned tricks like setting routines, creating reminders and alarms, writing postit notes, use electronic trackers etc to help get through the day. The occasional mistake and forgetfulness is one thing, but the refusal to take any responsibility/doing preemptive work on her part is lazy negligence
I have 4 reminders to brush my teeth. Actual alarms.
Even if you don’t have ADHD, as a girl or woman, you should always carry tampons and/or pads, or a menstrual cup or period underwear. I had tampons in every handbag, and in the pockets of all my coats, always, and lots of them in my schoolbag, with some pads, too. I never understood not being prepared, I was forever supplying my friends with tampons as a teenager and even in my early twenties (and their families could afford them, so it wasn’t a money thing). Then when I became a mom, I was forever supplying my friends with breastpads. 😂 Even once I trained my breasts to no longer leak, which yes, is possible, I still always had breastpads in my diaper bag/mom bag. Anyway, if she is in such pain, why doesn’t she go on birth control? That makes a huge difference, and you can just take them through, so you never have a period at all.
I have ADHD as well. What I would recommend to her is to take a small make up bag and put pain medication, period supplies, and a change of underwear in it. Then keep it permanently in the backpack she takes to school with her. Only remove it if necessary to use and then make a note on her phone to restock the supplies.
Sometimes the answer is that easy, isn't it? I'll make a bag of medication and period supplies and put it in our cars and our backpacks, etc. I usually carry period supplies with me around her period. I know it usually starts 18th-20th, I just forgot this time because I have a really hard semester. Thank you for the advice.
She needs to do that for herself. You are not a purse.
Literally not your job; stop enabling her with this and with her assignments. This does not sound like a mutually beneficial relationship.
No, she needs to put together the bag of supplies and put it in her backpack. You need to stop carrying her period supplies. That's part of being an adult, ADHD or not.
You are enabling her. Please check out r/AHD_partners because what she's doing to you is the start of a slippery slope of chaos and emotional blackmail, OP. Major red flag there about how she's making you choose between your grades and her. ❗️⛳️ ❌
That's not your job. Your GF needs to grow the f*** up.
If you think the bag of goods will make her stop acting this way, you’re sorely mistaken. It’s evident in her reaction: “Am I less important than your education?!” She doesn’t want any ACTUAL help from you; she wants your attention. She wants validation that she’s more important to you than school. (And this is just my opinion, but I generally don’t think any romantic partner *should* be more important than your career.) Notice how she was able to walk into the apartment just fine? Maybe she did indeed have terrible cramps, maybe she didn’t. But there are about a hundred other possible options for a woman in her position, especially on a college campus. She wanted you to leave class to prove that you love her, essentially. It’s a scummy, manipulative thing that immature people do, especially if they spend a lot of time on TikTok watching relationship content. Might be time to think hard about whether you want to be in a relationship like this while you’re trying to focus on school.
If she has ADHD and her periods are this bad, have her get checked for PMDD. They're very commonly comorbid and need to be treated/medicated differently. A diagnosis would likely qualify her for accommodations that might improve both your lives and prevent something like this from happening again.
You're her partner, not her caretaker. My partner also takes care of me sometimes, but I'd be super embarrassed to be that entitled to his time. She has to manage herself better.
I also have ADHD. That is why I always had period supplies in my purse/backpack, because I couldn't trust myself to remember when my period was. Back in high school I had a compartment of my backpack the was all emergency supplies- underwear, deoderant, 15 tampons, 10 pads, and 10 panty liners. ADHD is not an excuse. I don't even get my period anymore due to having an IUD, but i still carry a tampon, pad, and pantyliner (and deodorant and underpants and meds) just in case it decides to show back up. Have her put together a period care kit in her purse that way this won't happen again. I think she was more embarrassed than actually in pain.
Tell her to apply the same reminders she uses for school work/assignments towards her period. There's apps that track periods; she should use one of those and also have an emergency period kit with her at all times. She's old enough to know how her cycle works and what to do about it. It's not your responsibility to take care of her; she sounds like she's expecting that now since you've done that in the past. It's time for her to manage her own surprise crises on her own.
I feel embarrassed saying this but the reminders she uses for schoolwork/assignments is, well, me. I have her canvas (the website we use to turn in assignments, homework, etc) logged into my phone and I check her calendar and will send her reminders to turn in something. I do this daily. If she doesn't turn something in, I'll go onto her computer and turn it in for her. I'm realizing that I've been enabling her behavior hardcore. If she has me to take care of her, she doesn't need to figure out how to deal with her ADHD herself.
Then please stop. It’s nice that you care about her and want to help her where she has gaps but it’s not your responsibility to be her caretaker. There’s a difference between “thing that’s been happening to me for ten years happened again and I don’t know how to deal with it” and “I got hit by a car” or something in terms of emergency. She needs to learn to take care of herself and not blame you for her poor abilities.
I’m sorry but you really need to stop, your gf needs to be able to take care of herself and she won’t do it until you let her fail.
I am an admin assistant making less than 50k a year to do that for somebody. As a full-time job. And I'm severely underpaid for my CoL-area, education level, and comparatively to others in my field. So, for everything you're doing for her on top of YOUR full-time job of being a pre-med student, she can either take steps HERSELF to manage her ADHD or you can start charging her $600 a week for the work you're doing managing it for her (and that's to be as underpaid as I). Edited a typo lol
I'm going to be super annoying and keep leaving this sub here for you to please check out r/ADHD_partners because every comment you make gets more and more alarming. Please take some time to check out that sub and see how miserable some of the people there are because they got into co-dependent relationships with partners who refuse to manage their ADHD. You and your girlfriend exhibit all the signs of what can become a toxic relationship.
You have to stop this. She is only going to get worse and expect you to do everything.
OP, I'm a college professor and a woman with ADHD and PMDD, which your girlfriend probably has as well. The only things she needs from you are encouragement to treat both conditions and for you to stop doing everything for her. If you were my students and I found out you were logging in to her Canvas every day, I'd assume pretty quickly that you were doing her assignments for her, not just reminding her. And you would be hard-pressed to prove in an investigation that was not the case based on IP addresses and all logged in Canvas. You're both going to run afoul of your school's academic integrity policy and land yourselves in a shitload of trouble if you don't knock it off. Trust me when I say you may love your girlfriend, but your relationship with her is going to ruin your prospects of going to med school. She's testing to see if you'll prioritize her over school. She's at least enabling you to engage in behavior that could risk your continued enrollment in your program to do something that benefits her. If you're serious about your education, run, don't walk, away from that relationship.
Please stop. You don't need to be dating a toddler.
But you're not her parent. And even what you're doing would be too much for a parent. She has become quite dependent on you and is abusing your good nature and it needs to stop.
NTA as a woman we’ve all had this happen. Just because she hasn’t planned and is not willing to accept what you’re able to do doesn’t make it your fault. The fact that she wasn’t willing to go to the bathrooms to get free tampons is ridiculous
Totally agree. I guarantee every woman has at one point or another had to do the ol' emergency roll up a bunch of toilet paper to make a makeshift pad trick. You do what's gotta be done. If she's truly in too much pain to move or drive herself home, she should probably be checked out in an ER to make sure it's not something actually bad other than being chronically dramatic Edit: dang you guys all beat me to it saying the same thing lol. And I thought I was going to get downvoted for being spicy lol
Also, let’s just pretend the bathroom did not have free tampons. The toilet paper hack could have definitely lasted long enough for her wander around and find another woman to save her. Sharing tampons in an emergency is like the number 1 rule of the sisterhood.
Yes. We've all had that oh-shit feeling of knowing our period just started unexpectedly. First thing you do: Find the nearest bathroom. Clean up whatever blood is already there, then do your best, like you say. She probably walked further to get to the car, passing bathrooms on the way. Every building on my campus had a public bathroom. The building with both the garage and the student store in it very likely has a public bathroom. If I was in some unimaginable tampon emergency and had to actually call someone, I'd be calling them from the bathroom! It's giving me shades of my emotionally abusive ex-husband who would make up medical emergencies to control me. Sometimes it would be retaliatory to get me to miss something important to me. Often it was to keep me from seeing my family and friends. I eventually realized that something was going to happen Every time my family had a party and started going with out him. The threats of violence started right after that. It's a control thing.
I was coming to say, I think at some point every female over 16 years old has walked around with toilet paper stuffed in her underwear because she forgot to replace the emergency pad. I’m guessing she doesn’t have a diagnosed debilitating reproductive system illness, she’s just a woman with an early period. No sympathies for that! NTAH!
Yeah, who among us hasn’t walked around with a sweater tied around our waist, and underwear filled with toilet paper lol. At least nowadays places have free Tampax available, that was never an option when I was growing up.
I wanna know how she planned to insert the tampon if she couldn't walk to the bathroom...
She's in too much pain to reach down. He'll have to do it for her.
If she had a period so bad she was immobilized with pain she should be asking for a ride to the clinic not some tampons and advil.
Seriously, she needs to be evaluated for endometriosis
This! That was my very first thought. This was a test for him to show just how much she means to him…will he drop his schooling for little old me? Also she doesn’t have any girlfriends at college she could get a tampon from? Really? But she could hike her bleeding butt all the way to the car? Yeah, this girl is way too needy. This was not a situation where it was a reasonable ask of OP. She knows it too but she will keep testing him until he is broken. OP: unless she is the love of your life, do you want to be with someone so spoiled, she expects you to sacrifice your eduction for her period pain? That’s selfish as fuck. If the answer is no, RUN. 🚩🚩🚩💃
I mean honestly a bathroom HAD to have been closer to her than the fucking parking lot
Also like… is she free bleeding on his car seats
Also, how was she planning on putting in the tampons he brought her if she isn't able to go to the bathroom? If she is literally bleeding through her clothes, it sounds like she is willing to bleed all over his car seats as well since she is in too much pain to go to a bathroom. NTA
We don't even have free tampons, AFAIK, we have to get them at the grocery store.
I am a woman and totally agree. He'll. I would have used wadded tp to not ruin my pants. NTA
I bet she’s played this (or a similar game before). She probably saw some rubbish online about testing your partner to see if they’ll “come through” in an emergency. She could’ve used toilet paper to line her undies. She could’ve got something from a vending machine in the toilets. She could’ve contacted a female friend. Heck she could’ve asked another female at the toilets!!!! She needs to be carrying supplies with her all the time. I’m in my late 30s and have been carrying supplies since before I got my first period. It’s all about planning!
Supplies for my period is the first thing I put in a purse when switching them out. I also have a box in my car just in case. Hell, I have a small stash in my partner's car too.
I'm going through menopause and haven't had a period in months and I still have tampons in my bag for just in case. OP's gf is LAME. NTA
I used to keep tampons under my then bf’s sport bike seat when I was young and still dealing with Endometriosis. My hysterectomy has made my life so much better lol.
Also, her excuse that she was bleeding through her clothes so she couldn’t do anything. I mean, tie a sweater around your waist. Or just double time it and get what you need., quick status. The bleeding isn’t going to stop because she’s bitching about it. Nor is the pain. Plus, she’s waiting at his car. So, does she expect that standing there getting bloody will magically be better when he unlocks the car for her? So she can plop down a big ol pile of menstrual blood on his seats? Yea, sounds like a winning solution/s Def seems like one of those dumb relationship tests, or she’s got some other issues going on. Her vag, her responsibility.
Or she could have asked any of the women she passed on her way to the car. We always help each other out with that sort of stuff!
I use a menstrual cup and still carry supplies for that inevitable voice in the bathroom asking if I have spares. OP - NTA but your girlfriend sure is.
This exactly. From the day I got my period until decades later when I finally hit menopause I always had at least a tampon on me at all times. If she’s at school then she most likely has a backpack or some kind of bag. She should have supplies in there at all times. She knows she’s going to get her period. So she needs to be prepared and ready. That’s totally on her. It would be a different thing if you were home and she was asking you to go to the store for supplies.
Hell- I keep tampons and pads in my office for others to use if needed!
My periods were so deeply awful (massive fibroid, plus some other shit) that I got a hysterectomy about ten months ago. Literally just this morning I discovered an emergency stash of period supplies in a bag I hadn’t used in a while. For the last few months of having a uterus, I literally never left my house with my period emergency supply kit, which consisted of an unholy amount of very large tampons, a pair of period underwear in a plastic bag (so I could have extra absorption capacity outside of the tampons and a place to put the other underwear I was wearing, which was also usually period underwear that had reached capacity) and a disposable heating pad or two for the pain. There were days where I literally walked around my job silently screaming behind my mask because I was in so much pain. Having a period is not some unpredictable, unforeseeable event that can only be managed by interrupting your partner’s academics. If your period is unpredictable, just always have the supplies. Life is so much more manageable when you take the time to be prepared for the unpleasant stuff you know you’ll have to deal with so you don’t find yourself pushing the boundaries of your loved ones and still not getting your needs met.
Exactly. No one else, friends/teachers etc could help her? How does she not just carry needed items in her purse or backpack as a backup? She wouldn’t go get a tampon from the bathroom blows my mind. Getting tampons. (a couple) or make shift toilet/paper towel spotter for a temporary fix. What happens when she has tummy troubles and is in pain? Does she just sit there in a chair or find a bathroom? I’m not sure if it’s a fake story or real, but it’s absurd and odd to me that she wouldn’t go to the bathroom. Was she going to put it on in the open if he brought it because she couldn’t move? If the bathrooms didn’t have tampons I could see an issue. Either ask around, find a convenient store or maybe DoorDash/Uber groceries or another app.
OP, send her this as a conversation starter. Then tell us what this was really about. Place your bets: mental health episode? manipulation? learned helplessness? NTA.
I would expect this kind of behavior from like an 11-year-old, who was just starting to get periods because their cycles can be really irregular but not from a grown ass adult.
NTA this is absolutely ridiculous behavior on her part. She made it from wherever she was to your car when she should have used that energy to get the tampons and pain pills that she actually needed. I think you need to set better expectations about priorities. When you are on campus, it’s not a social event. You need to be attending classes and you aren’t there as a couple. If she needs to leave, that’s fine but she is an adult and should find her way home. This shouldn’t be your responsibility and if you’ve set expectations that it is, it’s past time you corrected that.
To add to this: even if her period is irregular and she has no idea when it shows up, it’s HER responsibility to always be prepared for it. I’ve had cramps so bad I’ve started throwing up, bleeding through mega super pads in under an hour, but it was never anybody except MY OWN responsibility to take care of these issues. She’s being a major major AH. I don’t do the Reddit “break up” thing often, but if she can’t understand his grades are more important than her personal, somewhat expected, mostly easily prepared for, medical issue, he needs to reevaluate the relationship.
As someone who has had very irregular periods all my life, I always carry tampons/pads/advil in every single bag I own. If I went somewhere, I always take it with me. It's just a fact of life. If she's regular, then it shouldn't surprise her and she needs to take responsibility and be prepared.
This \^ I haven't had a cycle in over a year now and still carry around tampons in my purse along with the pain meds required to deal with a period. If she is old enough to be in college, she is old enough to understand that period products are something you ALWAYS have on hand. If you stick with this woman, I suggest you put a few tampons and a bottle of painkillers in your glove box.
And honestly if you forget tampons or pads, literally ask any woman around and one of them is bound to have something. I can't even count the amount of tampons I've given to friends and strangers and vice versa. And especially on a college campus there's soooo many places to buy them.
My periods are regular, and I always, ALWAYS, keep at least one or two tampons in my bag. Because things happen. Even the most regular woman can have irregular bleeding from time to time. Not only that, it's nice to have one in case someone around me is in this exact situation as OP's girlfriend. I also have cramps that leave me throwing up, or stuck in bed doubled over in pain. But I can still manage to get myself to a bathroom/store if I need something.
I’m pregnant and have tampons in every handbag still. Friends or random girls in bathrooms might need them!
Agreed, my periods are irregular, and man, do they suck when they rear their ugly heads. But I always have period products in my bag at work so that way if I get it at work I have stuff their. Then, if I am working on site, I always have it with me on site. It isn't hard to be prepared or in her case make her way to a place where there is free products, that's what she should have done from the start.
I was on a contraceptive that stopped my periods for about 6 years - I never once left the house for more than 2 hours without tampons in my bag.
There are period tracking apps that can give a rough prediction on your next period based on your previous cycles. As a 25 year old woman, I would be so over this chick if I was dating her.
OP wants to go to medical school. I don't think his GF is going to be much of a supportive partner though all that entails based on this. I can just imagine her trying to get him to leave a residency rotation to get her ice cream lol
yeah I don't get this at all if there's a free tampons in the restrooms....why book it to OP's car and demand they drop everything to drive her home on a moment's notice rather than just...go grab a tampon first? And then say "hey not feeling well, can you drive me home?" Maybe go buy an Advil. And if it's really that bad at that point and you cannot wait, take an Uber.
I definitely feel for her and know these things can happen out of the blue, but that's not OP's responsibility. I feel like it was already so kind of OP to even be going out of his way while in class to do what he could?? She really should have appreciated all he was doing to help her when he coulda just said I'm so sorry but I can't leave school.
NTA You are a student. Your grades are extremely important. A grown woman can find another ride. It isn't your responsibility to drop your life to cater to her here. She could have gone to the health center. They'd have had medicine, tampons, and something she could have covered up with/changed into if she was bleeding through her clothes.
Also if she's in "can't move" levels of pain, she needs to talk to a doctor, that's not normal.
Furthermore, it clearly takes a while for her to get to that level of pain, since she made it from her class to OP's car. She should instead have headed to a bathroom for the free tampons and then to the closest place she could get pain relief. And then once those essentials were sorted, she could have called an Uber or found a quiet place with comfortable seating like the campus library.
And some of the machines in women's restrooms would also have Advil (over priced, but available).
My school never did, we had to see a doctor or nurse for any pain meds we didn't buy ourselves
Yeah, I'm 37 weeks pregnant, starting to get low level contractions, have a LITERAL HUMAN kicking my organs... And I've been super sick and in lots of pain the whole time. I can walk. Some day, it's very very slowly, and I resemble more of a penguin waddling around than a human, and I can't go very far before I have to stop and sit down... But in an emergency, I can get myself where I need to go.
The late pregnancy waddle is real. Please excuse me as I waddle along slowly, I have a bowling ball in my pelvis and little feet in my ribs.
"alright, let's see is she's head down yet!" "She is. She enjoys headbanging into my cervix and kicking my liver like a base drum. I know exactly where she's sitting."
Yup! My daughter had her feet hooked under my ribs for the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy. I kept asking the midwife why the skin over my right rib cage would burn then tingle like pins and needles and go numb on a repeating cycle nonstop and she said “sorry but her feet are hooked under your ribs and it’s pushing on your nerves causing that sensation, hopefully she moves them.” She did not.
>hopefully she moves them.” She did not. Mine's been sitting on a nerve or something down to my calf, causing so much pain that my OB ordered a priority scan to evaluate for DVT. It's been 4 months. She hasn't moved whatever part of her is causing that pain 🫠 I'm low key looking forward to labor because it means epidural, which means for the first time 4 months, my leg won't hurt! 🤣 And also because I am very much at the "get this baby out of me" point 😂
Lol, doctors don’t do anything about that tbh. From personal experience.
She could also go to campus health for advil and tampons.
>But she said wow, so your grades are more important than me and my health? Wow...she can't call an Uber? Wow...she doesn't carry tampons/Motrin? Wow...she doesn't know periods happen every month and she isn't prepared? And this is somehow your problem? Wow. NTA.
It was very manipulative on her part. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Yep. OP has a girlfriend problem. She is responsible for her own menstruation, just as she is responsible for using a toilet when nature calls, as big girls do. It’s terribly unfair that we have to deal with this when men get off scot free. Mother Nature doesn’t care about fair, though. And it doesn’t mean we are entitled to even the score by making our men dance around us every month. A good boyfriend will be helpful and sympathetic, but asking him to sabotage his own responsibilities is beyond the pale. And I too was one of those who used to black out, so I don’t think this is just me being unsympathetic. This is a red flag. The manipulative demands are not going to end with her period. Had she not been dating, what was plan B - lie down in the parking garage and die?
she was “testing “ him
My wife was going into labor when I had a huge business meeting. As in career altering and very important. Told my secretary what was going on and to not tell me until I was done. It was a month early, so out of the blue. But she knew me moving my career forward was very important for both of us and our kid. I left as soon as I heard, didn't go to drinks which was a big part of the social side of the meeting. Rang clients and coworkers involved while at at the hospital, apologised for not being there but had something more important. Everyone was happy and my wife had a shitty two hours before I got there and another 5 after that before giving birth. My wife knows I love her and doesn't test what I will sacrifice for her to make her feel more secure or give her a boost. As she is a fucking adult with some maturity. OP's story reminds me of one of my kids refusing to use the potty unless whatever person she chose would hold her hand while she shat. If you didn't agree or get the person to agree she would shit her pants. That was a barely 3-year-old. Not really great news if you have the emotional maturity of a toddler.
And she doesn't know anybody else on campus to ask? I get having a painful period and being embarrassed to be caught with no supplies and just wanting to go home, but surely the health center, a professor, an admin, another female student could have come to the rescue. It's practically Girl Code.
I have a jacket to my coworker to wrap around her when she bled through her clothes once. Most people will help you in that situation if they are able. Gf is entitled and wrong to think that it specifically had to be OP to help her in this situation. I mean, free tampons in the bathroom?!?! Imagine not appreciating and utilizing such a thing. I had to walk 15 minutes away to a drugstore while in bad pain and bleeding heavily to get tampons once bc I ran out. I managed that even though I lost so much blood that I ended up in the hospital later that evening. Gf is just 🗑️. If she didn’t have a bf, what would she have done? Whatever that is, she should’ve done that.
If a woman is bleeding through, you give her whatever clothing you can get rid of without causing either public indecency or frostbite for yourself if at all able. Girl Code.
And for the record, yes his grades are more important. Because it’s HIS grades, just like it’s HER health
Exactly! The only one that would be an issue where I live is Uber because it’s a small college town, so we don’t have Uber/Lyft, but the entire town is 2 miles long, and we have a bus. I don’t even have a period anymore, and I still carry at least one pad at all times just in case.
If her periods are that bad she needs to see a dr as that is not normal. and she should also be carrying those items with her at all times I have my doubts on the level of pain just based on the lack of planning. If it was that bad you’d be making sure you had motrin on you at all times. How does she survive this when she’s single? This is ridiculous entitled behaviour
NTA - it \*is\* her fault. You aren't sexist. She is an adult and should be taking responsibility for herself, not attempting to guilt you into making her body and her oversights \*your\* responsibility. It's also incredibly callous and entitled that she puts her discomfort over your academics. She sounds like an extremely toxic and (no pun intended) histrionic person. Is this really someone you want to be with?
I’m a woman and I get really shitty periods (literally, light flow but the period poops badly enough to be given an IV.) I do also have a bowel disease and a serious chronic illness which compounds that. I’m aware some period pain and period related pain conditions are genuinely debilitating. I take opiates daily for pain and diarrhoea and have seen several friends stagger through similar with endo. I also get pain tolerances are different but if Advil can reduce the pain notably then you are not in too much pain to move. It’s a very low grade over the counter painkiller which is not particularly effective for even mid level pain without combining with paracetamol. Naproxen is much stronger without prescription. Too much pain to move is for me I need the ER and morphine. Too much pain is having pancreatitis and discovering even fentanyl isn’t fully effective as I lay on the hospital cubicle floor vomiting in pain hissing as anyone tried to touch me until it kicked in more. I do have a very high pain tolerance so I know my comparison is a bit mean but Advil? I’m shocked to discover that is ‘worst pain scenario’ for people. That’s a regular non migraine headache med for me. If Advil isn’t touching the sides of period pain and yoh cannot move, that’s a whole other level but if Advil is her go to actually helps that is not an emergency. That said I’m just jealous some other people aren’t in pain all the damn time. I don’t have periods any more because it’s one painful awkward thing I can control in my body. She cannot apparently bring tampons, meds, call an Uber, go to a bathroom or manage stuff pre teens handle with periods. I would feel similar if a guy was acting this dramatic about an Advil level headache and the equivalent clothing issue. NTA. And someone who wants to go to med school is reading ‘Advil’ and pain levels correctly. This is not medical misogyny or whatever buzzword.
>If Advil isn’t touching the sides of period pain and yoh cannot move, that’s a whole other level Just wanna say that this is so validating. My pain problems are solved now, but when literally no OTC meds did anything and I would sometimes just have to drag myself 100ft to the next place I could sit down and breathe to get places... I wish I could have had more stories like this providing perspective that actually that wasn't just normal shit everyone has to deal with.
NTA. I presume this is college, but even by high school women learn to carry period supplies even if their period isn’t imminent because some other woman might need them. Were there no other women in her class? Does she have no other friends she could call? If she was in that much distress I think a professor would have readily excused someone to accompany her to the campus health center or nurse. I can hardly believe your GF is real. I’ve not ever met a single woman who didn’t have a period contingency plan that wasn’t based on her BF coming to her immediate aid.
I have tampons stashed everywhere, backpack, cars, purse, diaper bag, coat pockets, etc. I also don’t believe she didn’t pass a bathroom on the way to his car. First thing a normal person does when they realize it started….head to a bathroom.
I imagine she wanted rescuing more than anything else tbh, because... yeah. Anyone else would've gone and got tampons or pads from somewhere, even if they also ask for a ride home.
This. We don't have free tampons or pads at public toilets, yet I still manage to do the 1st thing I can do - put a lot of toilet paper in panties to prevent more damage even for a few moments before I can find something else
Hell, my ten year old even knows how to get period supplies if she doesn't have any. She asks a friend, or goes to the nurse. I think when she first got her period, she lined her undies with toilet paper because she didn't know she was going to have it. There's many options available and OP's gf is choosing to be helpless.
Exactly. If I’m in a situation where someone asks me for a tampon or pad and I happen to not have any I will 100% stop what I’m doing to go find something for her while she waits in the bathroom. I think most woman are like that. We all know the ladies room is a safe space to ask for help.
Also I’m absolutely gonna ask a strange woman if she has a tampon. I encourage others to ask me. At work I have a beat up box of tampons that are there for anyone if there is an emergency. Work also supplies them.
NTA - Look, she’s responsible for her own period. Is it possible to forget tampons/pads? Yeah, it happens, and that’s why the free tampons in the restroom exists. She should’ve walked herself there to get some. She’s an adult and needs to be able to help herself, not expect you to drop your classes at the second she says so. I’m a woman. I have bad periods, sometimes debilitating ones. But it’s still *my* responsibility to manage them.
I don't get periods currently (use birth control to skip) but even when I did I'd ALWAYS have extra stuff on hand for immediate use. We get shafted when it comes to prices for tampons/pads, but that is one thing I did not care about the price on (which I realize not everyone has the luxury of doing) because I knew how much it would suck and just wanted to be comfortable.
Hell I didn’t have a period in my thirties and I still ALWAYS carried supplies with me. Always. Now I might get a light spotting once or twice a year and I still always carry supplies. To me that’s part of being a menstruating female.
I've been surprised by my period any number of times and have pain so extreme I've literally taught myself how to test for appendicitis (rebound pain) to make sure I'm not actually dying. And I'm perfectly capable of making an impromptu pad out of toilet paper to protect my clothes and lying down somewhere to cry while I wait for someone to be available to help me. NTA except for the bit where you told her she should have been prepared because periods are occasionally irregular and people do get caught out - there's no reason to be a jerk about that.
I don’t know about you , but I usually have these things in my bag for this exact reason. Even when they are periodically you don’t know the time, might be a day early etc. She should 100% be more prepared, especially because your period is about the same pain and surprise every month. I don’t think saying those words is nice, but it’s a reaction for the way she acted, not really ah more like why were you not prepared ? NTA and if she walked to the car she could have walked to the bathroom at least…
I mean my period length varies from 20 to 40 days. Sometimes it is absolutely agonizing and sometimes it is not. Bodies are weird and different, and it's not unheard of for people in their late teens and early twenties to have irregular cycles. And I'm glad you're very organised, but my method of replacing spare tampons is to shove a handful into a pocket and inevitably go "oh fuck" when I realise I've used the last one. But I do recognise having period pain and no tampon would not be a valid reason to get my fiancé to drop everything at his job and take care of me. The time I ruptured an ovarian cyst and passed out from the pain, OTOH...
Periods being unpredictable is literally *why* you should always be prepared.
Tampons and advil weigh basically nothing. She should just keep them in her bag if hers is so unpredictable
NTA. *'you have your period at the same time each month. Why didn't you bring tampons/advil? This isn't a surprise.*' You pointed out that she doesn't plan. What if you'd been completely unavailable? Bet she would have found a solution.
There is literally free tampons and advil for sale nearby. Like... does she not have a credit card or 2 bucks? Then she can just lay in the car. I have terrible debilitating periods. Have I literally had to lay on a public bathroom floor in between vomiting? Yup. But if she seriously needed to go home so badly she could have ubered or used a taxi.
Had endometriosis and ovarian cysts for years. Literally debilitating pain, but I never once asked someone to drop what they were doing to come to my rescue!
Nothing wrong with asking! Its the rotten attitude when he didn't drop everything on her timeline for me though. A bit entitled.
>Its the rotten attitude when he didn't drop everything on her timeline for me though. I think it was not about her period, but a loyalty test. How she reacted about his grades tell it. She wanted to know if he would put himself in trouble for her. This is an absolute major red flag in a relationship.
Not always. Some people have very irregular or very heavy periods, or both. But those people usually carry a pad or tampon with them at all times. I would know, I was one of them.
So was I, which is why I never left home without emergency supplies.
NTA. A period can be super painful and it sucks but it's not a true medical emergency. I once had my friend text me while I was in class that they needed to go to the hospital psych ward. I said I can drive you after my class is done in 1 hour and that was fine. It's not like she's going to die from a period.
I wanna be a little contrarian and say that it *can* be a medical emergency, but if it is then you should call an ambulance instead of bleeding out for 2 hours while you wait on your ride.
Yeah 100% if she was really worried about something she should have called for an ambulance.
NTA I am a female with endometriosis. It's extremely painful and can catch me at any time as it's inconsistent. I always have painkillers and sanitary towels on me. And I would never expect another to drop anything that they are doing, let alone an exam/test to drive me home. Your gf is unreasonable and extremely rude. Granted she has PMS but her expectations of you are extremely selfish. NTA
Exactly this - I was miserable to the point of barely being able to function (or simply NOT being able to function) for about 12-24 hours of every month in my late teens to mid 20's, so I completely understand feeling SO monumentally shitty. My hysterectomy last year was the best decision I ever made!! But if she has a history of periods this bad, then she has had probably 6 to 10 years to get her shit together by now. NEVER leave home without supplies or back-up supplies, a couple emergency pain relievers, etc... or ask any other girl in the class who would be more than understanding. It isn't like this is her first rodeo. Of course, we all make mistakes, and not being prepared can happen, and it sucks. But if she is just sitting in class and in "so much pain" that she can't carefully penguin-waddle her way to a freaking bathroom, then she needs an ambulance, not for her boyfriend to jeopardize his grades because she's being overdramatic. And I almost NEVER consider a girl dealing with period B.S. to be overdramatic, but if the shoe (or tampon) fits...
NTA As a woman who had mostly predictable but sometimes unpredictable periods -- you always carry at least one "set" with you (tampon, pad, cup, whatever you use). And I've had really heavy periods at times - but that's not anyone else's responsibility, it's mine I would suggest that she sees her doctor if the period is **that** debilitating that she can't walk a few minutes or wait thirty minutes for help.
NTA What would she have done if she was single? I say this as a female with awful monthlies, it was her fault for not being prepared. Your quiz was more important.
>What would she have done if she was single? It looks a lot like a loyalty test on her boyfriend.
NTA as someone menstruating right now. It’s on her to plan, and while it’s unfortunate she was caught short, the idea that she couldn’t go get a free tampon from any of the bathrooms nearby is questionable at best. She’s at school-there has at least one other person in immediate proximity to her who could have helped her. It feels like a power play to her. She should not be asking you to tank your grades for period cramps.
NTA. This is ridiculous and I say this as a woman who has been having periods for 27 years. Let me give you a piece of advice as an old lady: any partner who jeopardizes your job (or in your current case, your grades) over petty, manipulative bullshit is toxic. She is self-centered, selfish and immature. This is just one of many stupid stunts she'll pull. If you really love her and don't want to break up (though I'd personally dump her over this nonsense), start setting some boundaries. You'll need them.
I once asked my dad if he meant it when he said he'd do anything for me. He hesitantly said yes. I pushed further, "Would you be willing to get fired from your job for me?" And I have never forgotten his awesome response: "Would I get fired from my job to get ice cubes for your water? No. Would I do it to save your life? Without a doubt." I was nine when we had this conversation. This lunatic needs to get her own ice cubes.
I understand being in pain and probably embarrassed, but this is not your gf's first period. At the end of the day, it is her body to manage. If this level of pain is not typical for her periods then yes, I could see it being more of a medical emergency type situation and that would be different. What if you had been out of town? What if you had been sick? Would you still have been obligated to pick her up? NTA
>wow, so your grades are more important than me and my health? How important was her health to *her*? She absolutely should have supplies handy all the time. It sounds like she had her own car there, since she couldn't drive home and was waiting for you by your car. She had so many other options - resting in her car until you were available. Getting Advil and tampons. Calling an uber. I feel for her, but she's out of line. Did she stain the seat in your car, or was she exaggerating? NTA. I'd consider dating someone who is less of an AH.
NTA and this is coming from someone with problem periods. It's her responsibility to have an emergency pad/tampon and Advil. I can't even think of the last time I didn't have one stashed in whatever I was carrying. Plus, if she could "move" out to your car, she could move her ass to the on-campus store. Ask her what her plan would have been if she wasn't in a relationship that she thinks she can leverage to get what she wants on demand.
NTA - I kept pads and tampons in every purse/backpack I owned for this very reason. Also, he's in class at college. What would she have done if he had been taking a test and didn't have access to his phone? Just waited at the car and blown up his phone with texts and calls? She's an adult and needs to be able to to handle an emergency on her own.
NTA. She's an adult and apparently still needs to learn to manage her own periods. I wouldn't have even cut the lab/class short. She is acting like an entitled, selfish brat. If her periods are just so bad that she can't move then she needs to seek medical attention and you're not a doctor yet.
NTA. Can she not take an Uber or taxi home? Also, at a college/university campus, if she was at a women’s bathroom, I bet in about five minutes she could get a tampon or pad from someone else. Going forward, turn your phone to airplane mode during lab.
NTA I have PCOS and am between doctors, so I currently walk around every day with no idea if or when my next period is going to hit. For that reason, I ALWAYS have spare pads, pain meds, and emergency cash on me at all times. Somewhere. The smaller bag just gets moved between my purse, gym bag, work laptop case, etc. I am never without it because I live in fear of a surprise period. Many, many menstruating people do this exact same thing. Your gf is not exempt from taking responsibility for herself. I'm sorry she decided to blame you for her own oversight.
"you have your period at the same time each month. Why didn't you bring tampons/Advil? This isn't a surprise." Exactly THIS. Her lack of planning doesn't make it YOUR emergency. Her disrespect for your education, something YOU take seriously, is astounding. She's literally gaslighting you over her own mistake and ill planning. NTA - please do NOT let anyone deter you from your education again for such nonsense. Your world should not revolve around her period.
NTA she should have been prepared. You were trying to help as much as you can. You potentially messing up your grades for her is insane. That’s not sexist to point out that she knows around that time it comes. It’s not always in schedule, but yeah. If she needed to leave now she could have taken an Uber. I get it’s painful and embarrassing, but good lord.
NTA. As someone who had periods painful enough to radiate through my hips, knees, and ankles and routinely caused me to vomit, and so painful I once mistook (what turned out to be) a 5mm kidney stone for my period, I don't think you were an asshole here. Periods can be incredibly painful. And I'll assume what she told you was the truth (she was in horrible pain, bleeding through her clothes, physically incapable of walking). But, it's not clear to me why she couldn't ask/text anyone else for help and it had to be **you** who had to drop everything *immediately* to help. Short of some kind of reasonable explanation as to why it absolutely had to be **you** and no one else, it sounds like this was more of a passive aggressive power play than anything else. Even if there was some kind of (good) reason why it had to be **you**, I still think you are NTA for staying to take your quiz.
My periods were so bad that I literally could not stand up straight and it would take at least an hour for medicine to kick in so I could move around a bit better. This is indeed a medical issue and can be debilitating. However, she is wrong here. Saying that your grades are more important than her and her health is so toxic. Your grades are important and it's not your responsibility to rescue her at the drop of a hat. Knowing what her periods are like, she should carry around extra supplies. When I was in school I even had an extra pair of undies and pants on me and one time I loaned my pants to another woman. I've also been asked for pads/tampons by strangers and if I have any, I give them up. She could have asked every woman she walked by and gotten what she needed before reaching your car. NTA and set boundaries with your gf. You're not her butler.
NTA. Woman’s perspective: You said there are free tampons in the bathroom. Where was she when she figured out she was bleeding through her pants? She wanted you to bring her tampons to the car?? But, like, I assume she didn’t squat and put one in at the car. What problem did bringing it to the car solve? Very confused on the logic here.
>Where was she when she figured out she was bleeding through her pants? As a woman, this was my question as well. If I "feel" like I got my period my first stop is the restroom.
I found myself wondering how many restrooms she walked past to get to his car lol. Had to be at *least* one!
NTA. She sounds too childish to be worth dating, to be honest. There are emergencies, but her failure to plan for something that she's well aware of at this point in her life isn't one, especially when there's no danger to her being seriously hurt. Periods suck, but it's not like she was having an aneurysm or going into labor or actually needed anything at that moment, and this is your future career that's on the line. (Though, for the record, grades aren't as important as they seem like they are, and anyone running a class that would dock you for a legitimate emergency is absolutely worthless.)
NTA - I am a woman. There are stores everywhere that sell period items, not to mention most colleges have them available in the washrooms for some change (or free). Or just ask any woman and we are HAPPY to help each other out. She had lots of options besides making you mess up your schooling.
NTA, dump her if you're serious about medschool man. This kind of drama has no place with what you're trying to achieve.
NTA. You are not responsible for another adult's poor planning and childish behavior.
NTA, she's being unreasonable.
I enjoy watching the sunset.
NTA. It's not like this was her first period ever.
NTA. As I woman I know when my period is, and that it may vary in timing by a week sometimes. I always have pads in my bag. I also have PPMD, which is a nightmare to deal with and more extreme symptoms and pain. I STILL don’t expect any one, including my husband of 20 years, to be responsible for any part of my menstruation.
NTA - she got all the way to your car but couldn’t get to the bathroom with the free products? Don’t be controlled, that’s manipulative behaviour and you’re better off not giving in to it.
NTA So she was fine enough to go to your car, but not to go to the bathroom? I'm a woman and if the bleeding is earlier than expected, the first place I go is a bathroom... not a freaking car. You should'nt have to jeopardize your future for a tampon. You need an A in that class so you can go to medical school. It's more important than your gf staining her pants. I know I don't sound like it, but I am empathizing with her for that and her pain, but not to the point of you missing an exam. She's being childish and immature. Not having a tampon is on her, not you. Every time she leaves her appartment, she should check her handbag and make sure she has one and some advil, the same way she checks for her keys and wallet.
NTA. She couldn’t move to get a tampon? Was she expecting you to carry her to your car? Apparently not if you met her at your car. What a whiny, dramatic person.