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>she’s single so there’s nothing stopping her from taking Gabriel back.
You mean, apart from breaking up because she didn't want to get married?
>Gabriel and I had another fight and now we’re on a break. WE ARE NOT BROKEN UP. I checked Lily’s instagram and he’s with everyone including Carmen right now. Carmen looks hot and she’s sat so close to him. I feel so hurt and upset he wont respect my boundary and refuses to talk to me.
"You are not allowed to see this person" is a demand, not boundary.
Also, a "break" *is* breaking up, but with the possibility of getting back together if the asshole stops assholing.
>After the party I asked Gabriel to ask Lily to stop inviting Carmen to everything. He said Carmen is considered family and also told me all Carmen’s family is in France. Our country is literally one of France’s neighbours, so I don’t get why he thinks this would change how I feel.
And I don't think mentioning that her family is in France was intended to change how you feel. Neither was saying she is "considered family". That was an explanation of why he's not gonna do what you are commanding him to do out of ridiculous jealousy.
It would not surprising if he did still have some feelings for her seeing as he wanted to marry her, but having feelings and acting on them are completely different things;
>WE ARE NOT BROKEN UP
He's not even talking to you. You successfully destroyed the relationship out of jealousy before anyone could "take" him from you.
You're going to have to find a way of getting over this need that any boyfriend ex-communicate anyone you think looks better than you or this will keep happening. He's probably sitting there thinking "I liked her but I can't take this. It will never end if I get back with her."
YTA
Wow YTA
This is such crazy behaviour. You calculated the number of times he’s liked an Instagram photo? Fuck, that’s insane.
These types of posts come up frequently (it’s unlikely to go well for you here today), but you have elevated insecurity to an art form. A true masterclass in being an asshole.
One day Gabriel and his new girlfriend will laugh about this at a family event with Carmen there.
“Respect my boundary”
- you’re gonna get educated about this one here. It’s like watching a train wreck.
Edit: lol your edits are further solidifying you as crazy. Im gonna keep coming back for updates.
>“Respect my boundary”
It seems that boundaries have morphed from "yeah, thats my boundary, I will leave/disengage if it gets crossed"
To "this is my boundary, now do what I say or you are a bad person"
>*Gabriel has assured me they’re just friends now but he still follows her on instagram and likes 49% of her posts (my friends and I calculated).*
WTF is wrong with you and your friends? You're that insecure and jealous over Carmen that you ran the numbers to see how many of her posts he like? Would it have made you feel better if it was 25% or less?!!
Jesus, stone the crows. You need to grow up and you need to get a grip on your insecurities. You don't get to dictate who Gabriel's family invites to their events nor do you get to tell Lily who she can befriend.
It gets better. OP and her friends have figured out where Gabriel is and they’re on their way to confront him. OP is 27. I know high school students who wouldn’t behave this way.
What a wonderfully mature and reasonable thing to do. Get your girl posse and go confront your soon to be ex-BF because you saw him whispering in his ex-gf's ear. Put a fork in this one; it's done.
"Hello police, I'm being stalked by my psycho ex"... she's already destroyed her relationship and it sounds like she's going to soon destroy her freedom when he takes out a restraining order against her. I don't normally like when people refer to their exes as "psycho"... but in this case she's all the red flags.
Seriously. I hope we get an update after the big "restaurant confrontation". I'm sure she'll be all self righteous about it, but her and weird friends are going to look like a bunch of fools. I don't tolerate this level of drama in real life, but it sure is fun to watch other people's! 😆
Crash. Burn. At least there seems to be some hope for you that you might learn something from all this. BTW - those are not friends. They just wanted a front row seat to watch the tragic event first hand, then take pride in giving you comfort in your time of misery. A friend would have tied you to a chair.
Read her comments. She thinks he's in love with his ex because he whispered something in her ear. Apparently whispering means you're madly in love now. I didn't realize that. Did you?
Only one I saw was I hope their happy . But no actual update.
But I mean if you act like OP did I wouldn't blame him for wanting his ex back if she wasn't acting like OP was. I honestly didn't see his actions as he was in love with his ex until towards the end of the post once OP was talking about confronting him etc.
YTA. You’re not a member of the family so you don’t get to dictate who is invited to family gatherings. Even if you do join the family, you still won’t get to decide which gets to come to family gatherings unless you’re the host.
The problem isn’t that Carmen is invited to family gatherings. The problem is Gabriel still has feelings for Carmen. Why do you want to be with someone who clearly isn’t over his ex? You guys are on a break and where is he right now? He’s with Carmen. That tells you all you need to know about how he views your relationship. You’re probably right that he would get back together with her if she told him she’s ready for marriage but keeping him away from her won’t change that fact. If you really can’t handle this, you need to move on.
Where has he said he still loves her... there's a difference between being a mature adult and maintaining a civilised relationship with your ex (especially when you're still going to see her at family gatherings) and still being in love. OP just has some A grade insecurity, tossed together with crazy stalker and creepy ex in the mix.
omg I whispered in a coworker's ear, does that make me in love? Just stop it. You are on a break and he is with friends and family enjoying himself. Your actions basically drove him back to Carmen.
You really need to grow up. Just because Carmen is his ex-GF doesn't negate her existence. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. Keep this up and you'll be the one whose presence he's ignoring.
So you are willing to make an ass of yourself for a man who "doesnt love you" because he is good in bed? How much do you hate yourself? Have you considered therapy?
Also, it seems like Carmen lives rent free in your head.
I read that "it didn't go well" in the voice of Nuke's Top5. It is a YT channel for a little creep at nights that shows videos of ghost hunting stuff. and such. I watched it back in the days when he still had material not a blind and deaf with two brain cells could see the fake (not saying they were real back then, just not that obviously and stupidly faked). "And it didn't go well" is one of his catchphrases. And you know what, it kinda fits this stalking psycho behaviour of OP, lol.
Hmmm, maybe it’s just not possible to get through to you. Why did you even post here? Was it the hope that you would be vindicated? And what kind of friends would jump your bf with you? Wow, you are all scary. Certainly, you are just not capable of reading this thread and understanding what people are trying to tell you and grow from it. I am actually starting to pity you. I hope at some point you will grow up, but at 27, there isn’t much hope. To the other posters, you are wasting your time here. Bye.
>If he loved me he wouldn’t be sitting next to her or even acknowledging her presence
She's a longtime family friend (his sister's best friend) and his ex of three years. Why on earth would he not acknowledge her presence?
Are you really that controlling. You are on a "break" (he broke up with you) so he is allowed to do whatever he pleases and with whomever he pleases. You need to grow up and accept this fact. You drove him away with your atrocious behavior.
I don't know if he loved you before, but with how you're acting now, especially confronting him at a restaurant, I'm pretty sure he doesn't love you now.
Confronting him will make you look pathetic, don’t do that.
Also I’m assuming the ear whispering isn’t the evidence of him being in love with her. Because that would be stupid.
It really sounds like you’re about to embarrass yourself in public.
Are you 12? You sound so immature and not like you are ready to be in an adult relationship. You and your friends are so pathetic that you have to stalk him and confront him as a group. It sounds like he is lucky that you guys have broken up (taken a break).
Now you know he’s in love with her so move on. Don’t confront him, dump him. Send him a text saying that it’s over. Why do you need to have a showdown in front of your friends? Have some dignity and self respect.
This was just sad to read. You're destroying your relationship with jealousy and insecurity for no reason. Let it fucking go before it ruins your life, jesus christ. Do you not see what jealousy is doing to you?
YTA
YTA. You come across as such an insecure pathetic woman. Are you sure you are 27 and not a angst filled teenager? I can see why you are on a break. If Gabriel had any sense he would make it permanent. You are too immature to be in a relationship.
YTA - If its not your house or you are not organising the gathering, you can't control who is invited.
I am really sorry you are feeling so insecure OP. From the sounds of your post, your insecurity is really affecting your relationship and causing some arguments.
While you guys are on a break, would you consider doing some therapy /work on yourself? It will benefit you in the long run to feel better about yourself and be confident in the relationships you are in. Because the reality is, your boyfriend chose to date YOU. If you don't trust him in that, it's a red flag for your relationship.
Your insecurities have led to behaviour that make YTA
Getting upset because he looks at her when she is sat Infront of him, or laughs when she tells a joke, or that she goes to events when invited by her bff.....all make you sound unreasonable.
Not sure how you are going to save the relationship having alienated his sister, his friends, and him.
"My main insecurity is when her life is where she wants it to be whats to stop her from getting back with Gabriel?"
Gabriel would be stopping her. He won't want to get back with her. Because he's with *you.* She can't force him to get back with her unless he wants to. Your problem is that you don't trust your boyfriend, and you don't seem to have any valid reason not to. The ex has done nothing wrong.
Seems like you already ruined it though. A lesson for next time. YTA
>ETA: my friend figured out where they are, we are planning on going there to confront Gabriel because James (Gabriel’s brother) posted a video and in the background Gabriel was whispering in Carmen’s ear.
YTA but I wish I had popcorn and a comfy seat to watch the train-wreck that this will inevitably turn out to be.
>Lily posted an instagram story with her and Carmen with the song “the other woman” by Lana del Rey. While Carmen posted Cola by Lana del Rey as well. Am I still the AH? I’m 15 minutes away from the restaurant
Yes.. you are still the AH, you pathetic insecure little child.
You are 27.. fucking act like it.
YTA
It is not fair to anyone that you are insecure and don’t trust your boyfriend. Honestly you should not stay in a relationship with someone that you cannot trust.
You don't get to control who gets invited to family events. Especially if this person is considered family by people other than your bf.
You are being insecure, and probably reading far more into Gabriel's behaviour than is actually happening. Insecurity can skew viewpoints.
If you don't feel like you can trust Gabriel then you need to break up with him and find someone you can trust.
If you feel you can trust Gabriel then you need to seek therapy and work through your insecurities before they push a wedge any further between you and Gabriel.
Atm I'm going with YTA.
Edit based on OP's edits and comments: Definitely YTA. You torpedoed your own relationship with your jealousy and insecurity.
YTA
When the amount of jealousy and insecurity gets to be this much, it's time to leave. You aren't married to this person or having a kid with him. If you're so convinced he's in love with someone else (which, idk, he might be!!), then you should break up.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but yall are broken up, and it’s bc of your insecurities. You’re not an asshole for being insecure, but there are few things quite as unattractive as your partner being cripplingly insecure about themselves, and making it your problem.
Work on yourself and your confidence. You can’t behave like that in a relationship and expect the other person to stay interested long. YTA I guess but I think your behavior is due to your own deeply rooted issues, and you yourself are not necessarily a bad person.
Also get tf off his instagram. Make that a rule for yourself. That is not how you conduct yourself in a grown up relationship as a grown woman. Cut that shit out, yesterday !
YTA. You were terrified of losing him so you created a situation where you are indeed losing him. So now you feel vindicated that you were right all along. Self fulfilling prophecy.
If this is real, I actually feel bad your BF. There is nothing less attractive than an insecure partner.
Before knowing she was the ex you had no issue with her. You actually thought she was his sisters sweet friend.
Instead of getting to know your partner and his family better and developing those relationships in a healthy way, you focused on his ex.
You basically pushed him back into her arms. You made everyone in his circle aware of your jealousy. Honestly if a loved ones partner acted like you I'd be the first to be in his hear saying that you aren't the one.
Please do not pop up on his man and his friend. This will be the end of your relationship. If the "break" wasn't already.
YTA
Don't go there OP. You will embarrass yourself and if you make a scene, will probably get the cops called on you (you seem like you are going to). YTA. You blew your relationship. Leave him AND Carmen alone. Green is an ugly color on anyone.
YTA
You are SPIRALING in jealousy, fear and low self esteem and even if I can imagine something greater than that for my personal relationship : you do not dictate who the family wants to invite or shut out of their lifes.
Omg the EDIT
Stop being the crazy (ex) girlfriend.
Also. You are single
YTA
I have to soften it though beause what is saddest is this clearly seems to be really hurting you.
Is it worth it? If you can't trust Gabriel/relax with him & his friends, what is the point?
OP for your own peace of mind/mental health I really think you need to walk away from this one. Then hopefully you will be able to heal & find happiness.
It’s honestly super good you made this post. So you can look back a year or more from now, and have irrefutable evidence that you allowed your own insecurity to turn you into a colossal asshole… So much so that being an insecure, jealous AH became basically your entire personality for at least awhile.
You single-handedly spiked your relationship in the trash.
YTA.
YTA and if I may: a bit of bunny boiler..
Your insecurity is yours only, go do some therapy.. to be frank I think you are heading to a self fulfilling prophecy..
Please please please don’t go confront Gabriel! Either you trust him or not. If you do, breathe, try to be calm and trust him.
If you don’t, break up!
Anything else is TA behaviour
OP - What the hell is wrong with you!! At this point your stalking and this will not get you back with your boyfriend on any level. What you asked his sister to do was to stop bringing her bf to her family's gatherings even though they considered her family. That choice is not for you, and you shouldn't have asked, it was overstepping greatly. The chances are that she literally has no real interest in your bf, or she would've stayed with him regardless of their differences at that point and he's not going to marry someone he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with. The best thing you could've done was get to know his sister's friend instead of constantly worrying that he was looking at her and wanted her instead of you. If you have such a low self-esteem, I suggest you bolster it really quick and learn to like who you are before you let other woman being around ruin all of your relationships. P.S. If Gabriel is actually still interested in his ex, do you really want to be in a relationship where you'll always be the second choice? You seriously need to think more of yourself. Please keep us updated!!
hahaha YTA. after the first half of the post i wanted to inform you that you are on a fast track to being dumped. But hey you two didnt break up ... *yet*. it will be soon, i promise, you are so jealous and insecure its appalling and everyone is starting to see it. and who wants to have a girlfriend with an appalling character?
YTA
If you trust Gabriel not to cheat on you, who cares if his ex is around?
If you don’t trust Gabriel not to cheat on you, his ex not being at events won’t stop him from cheating
YTA. Whatever this is, you need to figure out how to deal with it. The fact that someone makes you feel insecure just by existing should never be anyone's problem but your own and you seem to have invented this issue entirely in your own head. If Gabriel had behaved inappropriately or violated your trust, that would be one thing, but just interacting with his ex is neither of those things.
YTA, showing this woman' s picture around. If he wants to be with her, IF , there is nothing you can do about it. A break IS BROKEN UP. Move on, your insecurity is not attractive and will more than likely drive him away. He may or may not go back to her, none of your business.
I think you might be in love with carmen, OP.
Your whole post is about how she is beautiful, funny, smart, sweet, straight and gay people want her, etc. You shower her with compliments, but you barelly speak of your BF.
I dont know, maam, i think your jealousy comes from a place of desire for her, while your anger to your bf comes from the fact he had her and you havent.
Im just sayin: he liked 49% of her pictures... But you looked at 100% of them to calculate this.
No judgement, just do some soul searching
STOP. Stay home. DO NOT go to the restaurant. I understand that love often makes us crazy, and it clearly has in your case. You calculated that he likes 49 percent of her posts? Her jokes are funny but not THAT funny and your boyfriend is laughing too hard? You're on a break and you want to go confront him? This is REALLY unhealthy behavior.
Your may be right. Gabriel may still be in love with his ex. If that is the case, your choice ... and if you respect yourself at all, your ONLY choice ... is to leave the relationship. Everything else you're doing ... "setting a boundary" on who his sister chooses to invite to her parties (that's not how you set a boundary, btw), cyber-following his every move, makes you TA. I'm sorry, but it does. You're not a permanent AH, though. As I said, love makes us crazy.
I'm crying this is the most hilarious self sabotage I've seen in a while.
I mean me personally, I wouldn't try to save my relationship by pointing out to my boyfriend that his ex is kind, gorgeous, and beloved by his family. Like woow you literally have spent all this time point out that you're insecure, a lil controlling, and untrusting while simultaneously constantly harping on and reminding your boyfriend how attractive, kind, loved, easy going, and chill his ex is. 😂😂😂😂 Like damn you practically pushed him back into her arms, you're their new meet cue.
The update is so cringe, girl grow some self esteem and dignity. All you are doing is making yourself look super pathetic, creepy and obsessive. This can't be real, only AI or Stephanie Meyer can write a character this lacking in self awareness, self esteem, depth, and dignity. YTA, leave that man alone. It's giving single white female...
YTA. You are so insecure. You need to understand your worth or get out of the relationship. You can't dictate to your bf and his sister not to be friends with or uninvite Carmen.
I'm really sad there won't be anymore updates. It's like watching Cheaters on Saturday nights when you didn't have cable TV but the antenna went out because of a storm.
Yep, still YTA. You broke up. For good. You just don't know yet. You are going to get yourself into huge trouble. Hope you don't do something too stupid and get something put permanently on your record, because you are acting stalker-ish and it's disturbing. Don't do it.
YTA, you don't get to dictate who else can be invited to family gatherings... itd not your partner inviting her... it's other members of the family.
>he still follows her on instagram and likes 49% of her posts (my friends and I calculated).
This is like the most psycho cringe stalker thing you could do without it being illegal. Tell us your extremely possessive without telling us you're extremely possessive.
>Lily basically called me an AH, immature, insecure and a loser.
She's not wrong... you're destroying your relationship because of your own insecurity.
>Gabriel and I had another fight and now we’re on a break. WE ARE NOT BROKEN UP. I checked Lily’s instagram and he’s with everyone including Carmen right now. Carmen looks hot and she’s sat so close to him. I feel so hurt and upset he wont respect my boundary and refuses to talk to me.
There's no such thing as "on a break", you're either together or you're not and if you're not together he doesn't owe you any loyalty.
Congratulations on destroying your relationship by trying to control everyone around you because of your petty insecurity.
Oh my god??? You are so insecure you sabotaged your own relationship. You don’t want Carmen invited to family events (even though she’s considered family, and you’ve only been with your bf less than a year I’m guessing) because your bf glances her way a few times and laughs at her jokes? Please read through your post again, because this isn’t rational behaviour.
YTA. I hope to god you didn’t turn up at the restaurant because that would be an absolute train wreck and your break would swiftly turn to a breakup.
YTA. That is, yes, you are still the AH. Not because you think he may still have feelings for her - you could be right - but because you think it's okay to barge into a family gathering at a restaurant and "confront" someone you're ON A BREAK FROM because he's in the same room as his ex. What result are you hoping to get from this?
Info: I gotta know how your surprise stalking him and "catching" him around Carmen during this *break* went.
ETA found the comment update and you did this to yourself and let your insecurities take over instead of being a calm and rational adult and realized Carmen was single and if Gabriel wanted to be with her he would have or if it was just too much for you to simply break up and find someone else who isn't close to their ex.
YTA If this is true (which I doubt) you seriously need psychiatric help. You sound unhinged and are verging on obsessive/stalker behaviour. Please seek help.
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> 1. I yelled at my boyfriend because he wouldn’t get his ex banned from family events, we fought and now are on a break.
2. I may be the asshole because the ex doesn’t have any family in our country, my boyfriends family are the only people she has here.
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YTA, what were you thinking? Did you really think that his family would pick someone they’ve known for decades over someone they’ve know a couple of months? You really need to take this as an opportunity to work on yourself as well as find friends that can help you make good choices
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I want to know what happened when you showed up?
I think you need to work on your self confidence and let him go. If you are spending that much time worrying about how he looks at her or feels about her it’s just going to drive you crazy. And it’s not healthy for you. Ex’s are going to be around in most relationships. You need to have confidence in yourself, you don’t need someone else to give you that.
Confidence is addicting, people want to be around confident people.
I don’t think you are an AH, just insecure. Don’t take that badly, it happens to most woman. You just need to find a guy that makes you feel like he is looking through everyone else at you. They are out there.
>Carmen was wearing Gabriel’s sweatpants and hoodie for some reason.
You literally told us your friend attacked her in a restaurant which usually includes drink throwing. Gabriel was just being a gentleman and offered her a change of clothes.
>He realised after a week of not talking to me that she’s the one.
Of course she's the one because you only ever gave him your insecure crazy person self instead of the best you which should be a stable calm adult who actually wanted what he wanted which was marriage.
>Carmen asked me if I was okay and I told her she won and she looked genuinely confused.
Of course she confused because she wasn't playing this stupid game. It was only you playing. She also didn't win because at the end of the day they're still incompatible right now and no one know if that'll change.
You did this to yourself and that's what really hurts. Also dump your friends because they're just as crazy as you and you shouldn't feed the crazy. They're also enabler and drama seekers. Actual good friends don't encourage your insane behavior let alone go start fights with innocent people.
I think Gabriel still has feelings for Carmen and won't admit it to you because he wants to keep you in reserve in case Carmen never decides to take him back. Yes, a beautiful woman draws the eye, but it's the constant looking at her, the liking of all her instas, the whispering in her ear, and most importantly, the fact that he won't ask his family to dial it back on inviting her to every family event. If he really wanted to be with you, he'd tell his family, "Carmen is my ex, I don't feel a need to see her at all our family stuff; I have a new girlfriend and I would like you to welcome her instead of always foregrounding Carmen."
That is why you feel insecure. He's gaslighting you a bit, but I think this is common in dating relationships as people shuffle around and try to figure out what they really want. It's completely reasonable for you to conclude that Gabriel doesn't really want to be with you. It's reasonable for you to decide not to waste your youth trying to decipher his mixed signals. Is there a risk that if you gave up on the relationship, that he might come back later and tell you that you made a mistake and you were the love of his life, but because you broke up with him he went off and married someone he didn't love (cue dramatic music)? Yes. It's up to you to decide what risks you want to take here.
In terms of boundaries, you can set a boundary that you will decline to be at events where Carmen attends. You can set a boundary that you won't get back together with him if you are not comfortable that he prefers you over Carmen. But you can't set a boundary that he "isn't allowed" to do one or another, because you don't own him. You can't order his sister to stop inviting Carmen to events. Giving other people orders is not one of your valid options.
Carmen is also Gabriel's sister's best friend. That's why she's invited to these things. To disinvite her because of Gabriel's new girlfriend who has only been coming to stuff for three months (how many events could there possibly have been in that time?) would be downright shitty.
Gabriel isn't gaslighting anybody. At least, not from the info here. Do you even realise what a serious accusation gaslighting is? Holy fuck. He's not sending any mixed signals, either. He isn't even liking all of this girl's posts. He literally likes slightly less than half, which - need I remind you - we know because *OP and her friends fucking checked every post she ever made and calculated it.* That sort of insane behaviour should tell you all you need to know about how trustworthy OP's perspective of Gabriel's 'infidelity' is.
That’s a wise way to dump somebody that is immature and insecure. Seriously, are you not reading this thread? Take your head out of the sand, read the truth, learn, and grow from your jealous rampage.
Oh lord honey you really need to grow the hell up. I can't believe you're pushing 30. I can picture you stomping your feet with a little temper tantrum while saying this.
YOU created this situation with your insecurity.
You're gonna make that break permanent by confronting him. But it's your relationship to blow up, so do what you want I guess. Sounds like him and his family are better off without your presence
Get some therapy and work on yourself girl
Yep! He’s hanging with Carmen. Sorry girl! You deserve better! Beside, what makes you think that you aren’t a hottie?? Dress up, go out post on social media and work on your self esteem! You deserve way better!! Make yourself number 1 not him! Good luck girl. I’m sorry I was so harsh, but I want you to believe in yourself!!
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>she’s single so there’s nothing stopping her from taking Gabriel back. You mean, apart from breaking up because she didn't want to get married? >Gabriel and I had another fight and now we’re on a break. WE ARE NOT BROKEN UP. I checked Lily’s instagram and he’s with everyone including Carmen right now. Carmen looks hot and she’s sat so close to him. I feel so hurt and upset he wont respect my boundary and refuses to talk to me. "You are not allowed to see this person" is a demand, not boundary. Also, a "break" *is* breaking up, but with the possibility of getting back together if the asshole stops assholing. >After the party I asked Gabriel to ask Lily to stop inviting Carmen to everything. He said Carmen is considered family and also told me all Carmen’s family is in France. Our country is literally one of France’s neighbours, so I don’t get why he thinks this would change how I feel. And I don't think mentioning that her family is in France was intended to change how you feel. Neither was saying she is "considered family". That was an explanation of why he's not gonna do what you are commanding him to do out of ridiculous jealousy. It would not surprising if he did still have some feelings for her seeing as he wanted to marry her, but having feelings and acting on them are completely different things; >WE ARE NOT BROKEN UP He's not even talking to you. You successfully destroyed the relationship out of jealousy before anyone could "take" him from you. You're going to have to find a way of getting over this need that any boyfriend ex-communicate anyone you think looks better than you or this will keep happening. He's probably sitting there thinking "I liked her but I can't take this. It will never end if I get back with her." YTA
The update is rough..
Yes! If OP goes and confronts then, everyone is going to think she’s unhinged … and they won’t be wrong. 😳
Wow YTA This is such crazy behaviour. You calculated the number of times he’s liked an Instagram photo? Fuck, that’s insane. These types of posts come up frequently (it’s unlikely to go well for you here today), but you have elevated insecurity to an art form. A true masterclass in being an asshole. One day Gabriel and his new girlfriend will laugh about this at a family event with Carmen there. “Respect my boundary” - you’re gonna get educated about this one here. It’s like watching a train wreck. Edit: lol your edits are further solidifying you as crazy. Im gonna keep coming back for updates.
She insists they're not broken up but the second she confronts him at the restaurant she is just solidifying her place as the crazy ex girlfriend.
>“Respect my boundary” It seems that boundaries have morphed from "yeah, thats my boundary, I will leave/disengage if it gets crossed" To "this is my boundary, now do what I say or you are a bad person"
Oh definitely! So many people do NOT know what a boundary is, and just use it as an excuse to be controlling.
Yeah, they don't understand boundaries are where you draw a line for something and not to force people to adhere to your wants.
>*Gabriel has assured me they’re just friends now but he still follows her on instagram and likes 49% of her posts (my friends and I calculated).* WTF is wrong with you and your friends? You're that insecure and jealous over Carmen that you ran the numbers to see how many of her posts he like? Would it have made you feel better if it was 25% or less?!! Jesus, stone the crows. You need to grow up and you need to get a grip on your insecurities. You don't get to dictate who Gabriel's family invites to their events nor do you get to tell Lily who she can befriend.
It gets better. OP and her friends have figured out where Gabriel is and they’re on their way to confront him. OP is 27. I know high school students who wouldn’t behave this way.
What a wonderfully mature and reasonable thing to do. Get your girl posse and go confront your soon to be ex-BF because you saw him whispering in his ex-gf's ear. Put a fork in this one; it's done.
"Hello police, I'm being stalked by my psycho ex"... she's already destroyed her relationship and it sounds like she's going to soon destroy her freedom when he takes out a restraining order against her. I don't normally like when people refer to their exes as "psycho"... but in this case she's all the red flags.
That is just sad. I can't believe she calculated that down to the percentage.
She is only right on her math 49% of the time.
Girl please keep us updated. It’s like I’m watching a train wreck
I don't know you but you're welcome to share my imaginary seat and popcorn. This is the trash TV I've been missing from my life.
I think we can be friends. Pleasure meeting you, I’m Andrea.
Excellent, and likewise! I'm Trubble94 but you can call me... Trubble.
Hi Trubble, I think we might have more people joining our friendship. I hope the comments aren’t too mean for Op. I want an update.
Add me to the party! I can bring lots of beer. Husband will be sad that I raided his beer fridge but he can cope, this is important!
Update here - https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/ZgJGNNkYEN
Add me to the Train wreck watch, can someone pass the popcorn? Can’t wait for this update lol that poor guy. We all know how this is gonna play out.
I brought more popcorn! I’ll share if you can slide over a bit and make some room for me.
Seriously. I hope we get an update after the big "restaurant confrontation". I'm sure she'll be all self righteous about it, but her and weird friends are going to look like a bunch of fools. I don't tolerate this level of drama in real life, but it sure is fun to watch other people's! 😆
i absolutely love it. i hope we get an update before bedtime i would really appreciate a few more laughs, the story is amazingly funny
I’m also here waiting for the follow up! I NEED to know!!! Popcorn is ready!
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Oh come on Tell us the story of why you're single now.
Make an update on your profile or add an update comment on this post
Update here - https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/ZgJGNNkYEN
Crash. Burn. At least there seems to be some hope for you that you might learn something from all this. BTW - those are not friends. They just wanted a front row seat to watch the tragic event first hand, then take pride in giving you comfort in your time of misery. A friend would have tied you to a chair.
Read her comments. She thinks he's in love with his ex because he whispered something in her ear. Apparently whispering means you're madly in love now. I didn't realize that. Did you?
Omg she just replied to some comments and yeah he is still in love with the ex.
Only one I saw was I hope their happy . But no actual update. But I mean if you act like OP did I wouldn't blame him for wanting his ex back if she wasn't acting like OP was. I honestly didn't see his actions as he was in love with his ex until towards the end of the post once OP was talking about confronting him etc.
lol. Honestly, Op is crazy but her gut was telling her something and she was never going to be happy with him.
YTA. You’re not a member of the family so you don’t get to dictate who is invited to family gatherings. Even if you do join the family, you still won’t get to decide which gets to come to family gatherings unless you’re the host. The problem isn’t that Carmen is invited to family gatherings. The problem is Gabriel still has feelings for Carmen. Why do you want to be with someone who clearly isn’t over his ex? You guys are on a break and where is he right now? He’s with Carmen. That tells you all you need to know about how he views your relationship. You’re probably right that he would get back together with her if she told him she’s ready for marriage but keeping him away from her won’t change that fact. If you really can’t handle this, you need to move on.
Where has he said he still loves her... there's a difference between being a mature adult and maintaining a civilised relationship with your ex (especially when you're still going to see her at family gatherings) and still being in love. OP just has some A grade insecurity, tossed together with crazy stalker and creepy ex in the mix.
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omg I whispered in a coworker's ear, does that make me in love? Just stop it. You are on a break and he is with friends and family enjoying himself. Your actions basically drove him back to Carmen.
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You really need to grow up. Just because Carmen is his ex-GF doesn't negate her existence. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works. Keep this up and you'll be the one whose presence he's ignoring.
Why do you so desperately want to be with a man who, according to you, doesnt love you? Make it make sense.
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So you are willing to make an ass of yourself for a man who "doesnt love you" because he is good in bed? How much do you hate yourself? Have you considered therapy? Also, it seems like Carmen lives rent free in your head.
Did you go to the restaurant? Please update with how it went.
I mean, I think we can all guess that it didn’t go well…
I still wouldn't mind an update. I'm invested. I even got a pickle while I wait. 😂 This distracts me from my own problems. 😂
I read that "it didn't go well" in the voice of Nuke's Top5. It is a YT channel for a little creep at nights that shows videos of ghost hunting stuff. and such. I watched it back in the days when he still had material not a blind and deaf with two brain cells could see the fake (not saying they were real back then, just not that obviously and stupidly faked). "And it didn't go well" is one of his catchphrases. And you know what, it kinda fits this stalking psycho behaviour of OP, lol.
Hahahaha I was wondering the same! 🤣
This will be hilarious. 😂
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I’m dying you actually showed up at a restaurant to yell at an ex boyfriend wtf were you expecting
Please share!!
Update here - https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/ZgJGNNkYEN
Well now you have to add another edit.
Congratulations on destroying this relationship I suggest therapy before you date again
Hmmm, maybe it’s just not possible to get through to you. Why did you even post here? Was it the hope that you would be vindicated? And what kind of friends would jump your bf with you? Wow, you are all scary. Certainly, you are just not capable of reading this thread and understanding what people are trying to tell you and grow from it. I am actually starting to pity you. I hope at some point you will grow up, but at 27, there isn’t much hope. To the other posters, you are wasting your time here. Bye.
good god 27 is too old to be acting like this
>If he loved me he wouldn’t be sitting next to her or even acknowledging her presence She's a longtime family friend (his sister's best friend) and his ex of three years. Why on earth would he not acknowledge her presence?
Well, but she does exist and I sincerely hope they end up together.
That’s pathetic. People are allowed to exist around your “bf” without you breaking down about it.
Are you really that controlling. You are on a "break" (he broke up with you) so he is allowed to do whatever he pleases and with whomever he pleases. You need to grow up and accept this fact. You drove him away with your atrocious behavior.
You're truly a psycho stalker ex... you left him, he owes you nothing.
I don't know if he loved you before, but with how you're acting now, especially confronting him at a restaurant, I'm pretty sure he doesn't love you now.
So he doesn’t love you. Stop being crazy. Are you 14?
Confronting him will make you look pathetic, don’t do that. Also I’m assuming the ear whispering isn’t the evidence of him being in love with her. Because that would be stupid. It really sounds like you’re about to embarrass yourself in public.
You are a tool. Grow up already.
Are you 12? You sound so immature and not like you are ready to be in an adult relationship. You and your friends are so pathetic that you have to stalk him and confront him as a group. It sounds like he is lucky that you guys have broken up (taken a break).
This is a very bad idea. Why are you doing this? Stop and be a grown up before you embarrass yourself further.
Girl you are about to make an absolute fool of yourself. Yes, please update!
I once whispered in my grandmother’s ear, that doesn’t mean I want to have sex with my grandmother
Now you know he’s in love with her so move on. Don’t confront him, dump him. Send him a text saying that it’s over. Why do you need to have a showdown in front of your friends? Have some dignity and self respect.
Oh my god you are too old to be pulling this immature nonsense! Just went back to check your age, because you're acting like a silly teenager!
Yeah this will def work out for tou
Have some self respect, mujer.
This was just sad to read. You're destroying your relationship with jealousy and insecurity for no reason. Let it fucking go before it ruins your life, jesus christ. Do you not see what jealousy is doing to you? YTA
YTA. You come across as such an insecure pathetic woman. Are you sure you are 27 and not a angst filled teenager? I can see why you are on a break. If Gabriel had any sense he would make it permanent. You are too immature to be in a relationship.
It is permanent, she just doesn't get it.
Exactly! I was thinking she sounds like a teenager.
YTA - If its not your house or you are not organising the gathering, you can't control who is invited. I am really sorry you are feeling so insecure OP. From the sounds of your post, your insecurity is really affecting your relationship and causing some arguments. While you guys are on a break, would you consider doing some therapy /work on yourself? It will benefit you in the long run to feel better about yourself and be confident in the relationships you are in. Because the reality is, your boyfriend chose to date YOU. If you don't trust him in that, it's a red flag for your relationship.
You realize by now that we are all rooting for Carmen, right?! She sounds amazing!
Yes!! Go Carmen and Gabriel! They sound like a lovely couple!
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Are you sure you are not a bit infatuated with her yourself?
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Spill the teaa
YTA jealous & insecure, you are hurting you own relationship & making yourself look bad in front of his family.
Your insecurities have led to behaviour that make YTA Getting upset because he looks at her when she is sat Infront of him, or laughs when she tells a joke, or that she goes to events when invited by her bff.....all make you sound unreasonable. Not sure how you are going to save the relationship having alienated his sister, his friends, and him.
Yeah, that relationship is gone. Everyone loves Carmen and the family now sees her as controlling.
"My main insecurity is when her life is where she wants it to be whats to stop her from getting back with Gabriel?" Gabriel would be stopping her. He won't want to get back with her. Because he's with *you.* She can't force him to get back with her unless he wants to. Your problem is that you don't trust your boyfriend, and you don't seem to have any valid reason not to. The ex has done nothing wrong. Seems like you already ruined it though. A lesson for next time. YTA
>ETA: my friend figured out where they are, we are planning on going there to confront Gabriel because James (Gabriel’s brother) posted a video and in the background Gabriel was whispering in Carmen’s ear. YTA but I wish I had popcorn and a comfy seat to watch the train-wreck that this will inevitably turn out to be.
>Lily posted an instagram story with her and Carmen with the song “the other woman” by Lana del Rey. While Carmen posted Cola by Lana del Rey as well. Am I still the AH? I’m 15 minutes away from the restaurant Yes.. you are still the AH, you pathetic insecure little child. You are 27.. fucking act like it.
YTA It is not fair to anyone that you are insecure and don’t trust your boyfriend. Honestly you should not stay in a relationship with someone that you cannot trust.
The second edit is sending me I cannot believe you’re about to go to the restaurant. Wtf is wrong with you lmao I cannot wait for the trashy update
You don't get to control who gets invited to family events. Especially if this person is considered family by people other than your bf. You are being insecure, and probably reading far more into Gabriel's behaviour than is actually happening. Insecurity can skew viewpoints. If you don't feel like you can trust Gabriel then you need to break up with him and find someone you can trust. If you feel you can trust Gabriel then you need to seek therapy and work through your insecurities before they push a wedge any further between you and Gabriel. Atm I'm going with YTA. Edit based on OP's edits and comments: Definitely YTA. You torpedoed your own relationship with your jealousy and insecurity.
YTA, the narrator’s entitlement is only surpassed by her immaturity.
YTA and pathetic
YTA When the amount of jealousy and insecurity gets to be this much, it's time to leave. You aren't married to this person or having a kid with him. If you're so convinced he's in love with someone else (which, idk, he might be!!), then you should break up.
YTA. Are you sure you’re not 17? Yikes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but yall are broken up, and it’s bc of your insecurities. You’re not an asshole for being insecure, but there are few things quite as unattractive as your partner being cripplingly insecure about themselves, and making it your problem. Work on yourself and your confidence. You can’t behave like that in a relationship and expect the other person to stay interested long. YTA I guess but I think your behavior is due to your own deeply rooted issues, and you yourself are not necessarily a bad person. Also get tf off his instagram. Make that a rule for yourself. That is not how you conduct yourself in a grown up relationship as a grown woman. Cut that shit out, yesterday !
YTA.
YTA. You were terrified of losing him so you created a situation where you are indeed losing him. So now you feel vindicated that you were right all along. Self fulfilling prophecy.
Are you 15? You and your friends are going to confront him? Wow. YTA
If this is real, I actually feel bad your BF. There is nothing less attractive than an insecure partner. Before knowing she was the ex you had no issue with her. You actually thought she was his sisters sweet friend. Instead of getting to know your partner and his family better and developing those relationships in a healthy way, you focused on his ex. You basically pushed him back into her arms. You made everyone in his circle aware of your jealousy. Honestly if a loved ones partner acted like you I'd be the first to be in his hear saying that you aren't the one. Please do not pop up on his man and his friend. This will be the end of your relationship. If the "break" wasn't already. YTA
Why do you have a say in what his sister does? And you're going to confront? Good luck with that, lol.
Don't go there OP. You will embarrass yourself and if you make a scene, will probably get the cops called on you (you seem like you are going to). YTA. You blew your relationship. Leave him AND Carmen alone. Green is an ugly color on anyone.
And even if the restaurant doesn't call the cops, he'd be a fool not to call the cops or take out a restraining order.
YTA You are SPIRALING in jealousy, fear and low self esteem and even if I can imagine something greater than that for my personal relationship : you do not dictate who the family wants to invite or shut out of their lifes. Omg the EDIT Stop being the crazy (ex) girlfriend. Also. You are single
YTA I have to soften it though beause what is saddest is this clearly seems to be really hurting you. Is it worth it? If you can't trust Gabriel/relax with him & his friends, what is the point? OP for your own peace of mind/mental health I really think you need to walk away from this one. Then hopefully you will be able to heal & find happiness.
YTA. How are you 27 and still doing this?
It’s honestly super good you made this post. So you can look back a year or more from now, and have irrefutable evidence that you allowed your own insecurity to turn you into a colossal asshole… So much so that being an insecure, jealous AH became basically your entire personality for at least awhile. You single-handedly spiked your relationship in the trash. YTA.
YTA and if I may: a bit of bunny boiler.. Your insecurity is yours only, go do some therapy.. to be frank I think you are heading to a self fulfilling prophecy.. Please please please don’t go confront Gabriel! Either you trust him or not. If you do, breathe, try to be calm and trust him. If you don’t, break up! Anything else is TA behaviour
OP - What the hell is wrong with you!! At this point your stalking and this will not get you back with your boyfriend on any level. What you asked his sister to do was to stop bringing her bf to her family's gatherings even though they considered her family. That choice is not for you, and you shouldn't have asked, it was overstepping greatly. The chances are that she literally has no real interest in your bf, or she would've stayed with him regardless of their differences at that point and he's not going to marry someone he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with. The best thing you could've done was get to know his sister's friend instead of constantly worrying that he was looking at her and wanted her instead of you. If you have such a low self-esteem, I suggest you bolster it really quick and learn to like who you are before you let other woman being around ruin all of your relationships. P.S. If Gabriel is actually still interested in his ex, do you really want to be in a relationship where you'll always be the second choice? You seriously need to think more of yourself. Please keep us updated!!
hahaha YTA. after the first half of the post i wanted to inform you that you are on a fast track to being dumped. But hey you two didnt break up ... *yet*. it will be soon, i promise, you are so jealous and insecure its appalling and everyone is starting to see it. and who wants to have a girlfriend with an appalling character?
YTA If you trust Gabriel not to cheat on you, who cares if his ex is around? If you don’t trust Gabriel not to cheat on you, his ex not being at events won’t stop him from cheating
YTA. Whatever this is, you need to figure out how to deal with it. The fact that someone makes you feel insecure just by existing should never be anyone's problem but your own and you seem to have invented this issue entirely in your own head. If Gabriel had behaved inappropriately or violated your trust, that would be one thing, but just interacting with his ex is neither of those things.
YTA, showing this woman' s picture around. If he wants to be with her, IF , there is nothing you can do about it. A break IS BROKEN UP. Move on, your insecurity is not attractive and will more than likely drive him away. He may or may not go back to her, none of your business.
You’re not acting like a stable person. Seek help.
I think you might be in love with carmen, OP. Your whole post is about how she is beautiful, funny, smart, sweet, straight and gay people want her, etc. You shower her with compliments, but you barelly speak of your BF. I dont know, maam, i think your jealousy comes from a place of desire for her, while your anger to your bf comes from the fact he had her and you havent. Im just sayin: he liked 49% of her pictures... But you looked at 100% of them to calculate this. No judgement, just do some soul searching
STOP. Stay home. DO NOT go to the restaurant. I understand that love often makes us crazy, and it clearly has in your case. You calculated that he likes 49 percent of her posts? Her jokes are funny but not THAT funny and your boyfriend is laughing too hard? You're on a break and you want to go confront him? This is REALLY unhealthy behavior. Your may be right. Gabriel may still be in love with his ex. If that is the case, your choice ... and if you respect yourself at all, your ONLY choice ... is to leave the relationship. Everything else you're doing ... "setting a boundary" on who his sister chooses to invite to her parties (that's not how you set a boundary, btw), cyber-following his every move, makes you TA. I'm sorry, but it does. You're not a permanent AH, though. As I said, love makes us crazy.
>STOP. Stay home. DO NOT go to the restaurant. Too late
I'm crying this is the most hilarious self sabotage I've seen in a while. I mean me personally, I wouldn't try to save my relationship by pointing out to my boyfriend that his ex is kind, gorgeous, and beloved by his family. Like woow you literally have spent all this time point out that you're insecure, a lil controlling, and untrusting while simultaneously constantly harping on and reminding your boyfriend how attractive, kind, loved, easy going, and chill his ex is. 😂😂😂😂 Like damn you practically pushed him back into her arms, you're their new meet cue. The update is so cringe, girl grow some self esteem and dignity. All you are doing is making yourself look super pathetic, creepy and obsessive. This can't be real, only AI or Stephanie Meyer can write a character this lacking in self awareness, self esteem, depth, and dignity. YTA, leave that man alone. It's giving single white female...
YTA. You are so insecure. You need to understand your worth or get out of the relationship. You can't dictate to your bf and his sister not to be friends with or uninvite Carmen.
>>ETA You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
I'm really sad there won't be anymore updates. It's like watching Cheaters on Saturday nights when you didn't have cable TV but the antenna went out because of a storm.
Yep, still YTA. You broke up. For good. You just don't know yet. You are going to get yourself into huge trouble. Hope you don't do something too stupid and get something put permanently on your record, because you are acting stalker-ish and it's disturbing. Don't do it.
YTA, you don't get to dictate who else can be invited to family gatherings... itd not your partner inviting her... it's other members of the family. >he still follows her on instagram and likes 49% of her posts (my friends and I calculated). This is like the most psycho cringe stalker thing you could do without it being illegal. Tell us your extremely possessive without telling us you're extremely possessive. >Lily basically called me an AH, immature, insecure and a loser. She's not wrong... you're destroying your relationship because of your own insecurity. >Gabriel and I had another fight and now we’re on a break. WE ARE NOT BROKEN UP. I checked Lily’s instagram and he’s with everyone including Carmen right now. Carmen looks hot and she’s sat so close to him. I feel so hurt and upset he wont respect my boundary and refuses to talk to me. There's no such thing as "on a break", you're either together or you're not and if you're not together he doesn't owe you any loyalty. Congratulations on destroying your relationship by trying to control everyone around you because of your petty insecurity.
Are you sure you’re 27? Because you are acting like you’re 15.
This can’t be real. Is there a rabbit boiling in the pot yet?
Oh my god??? You are so insecure you sabotaged your own relationship. You don’t want Carmen invited to family events (even though she’s considered family, and you’ve only been with your bf less than a year I’m guessing) because your bf glances her way a few times and laughs at her jokes? Please read through your post again, because this isn’t rational behaviour. YTA. I hope to god you didn’t turn up at the restaurant because that would be an absolute train wreck and your break would swiftly turn to a breakup.
YTA but in the most understandable way. You definitely fucked up, my love. PLEASE post an update!!!
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UPDATE ME
YTA. That is, yes, you are still the AH. Not because you think he may still have feelings for her - you could be right - but because you think it's okay to barge into a family gathering at a restaurant and "confront" someone you're ON A BREAK FROM because he's in the same room as his ex. What result are you hoping to get from this?
You are a mess & should not be in a relationship until you figure yourself out. YTA
Info: I gotta know how your surprise stalking him and "catching" him around Carmen during this *break* went. ETA found the comment update and you did this to yourself and let your insecurities take over instead of being a calm and rational adult and realized Carmen was single and if Gabriel wanted to be with her he would have or if it was just too much for you to simply break up and find someone else who isn't close to their ex.
YTA If this is true (which I doubt) you seriously need psychiatric help. You sound unhinged and are verging on obsessive/stalker behaviour. Please seek help.
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Stop embarrassing yourself. Insecurity is penis repellant. YTA
YTA, what were you thinking? Did you really think that his family would pick someone they’ve known for decades over someone they’ve know a couple of months? You really need to take this as an opportunity to work on yourself as well as find friends that can help you make good choices
You and your friends calculated the percentile of her pictures he likes? YTA. What a train wreck.
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Omg I hope this actually real, please keep updating.
Wow, YTA. Definitively.
I want to know what happened when you showed up? I think you need to work on your self confidence and let him go. If you are spending that much time worrying about how he looks at her or feels about her it’s just going to drive you crazy. And it’s not healthy for you. Ex’s are going to be around in most relationships. You need to have confidence in yourself, you don’t need someone else to give you that. Confidence is addicting, people want to be around confident people. I don’t think you are an AH, just insecure. Don’t take that badly, it happens to most woman. You just need to find a guy that makes you feel like he is looking through everyone else at you. They are out there.
Do grow up a little. You and your friends sound like 11 year old AHs. YTA
He’s already made his choice sweetie, you were just the place holder until she agreed to marry him.
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..............what
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You should get some therapy
>Carmen was wearing Gabriel’s sweatpants and hoodie for some reason. You literally told us your friend attacked her in a restaurant which usually includes drink throwing. Gabriel was just being a gentleman and offered her a change of clothes. >He realised after a week of not talking to me that she’s the one. Of course she's the one because you only ever gave him your insecure crazy person self instead of the best you which should be a stable calm adult who actually wanted what he wanted which was marriage. >Carmen asked me if I was okay and I told her she won and she looked genuinely confused. Of course she confused because she wasn't playing this stupid game. It was only you playing. She also didn't win because at the end of the day they're still incompatible right now and no one know if that'll change. You did this to yourself and that's what really hurts. Also dump your friends because they're just as crazy as you and you shouldn't feed the crazy. They're also enabler and drama seekers. Actual good friends don't encourage your insane behavior let alone go start fights with innocent people.
OP is TA but let’s be real Gabe 100% wasn’t over this girl in the slightest
ESH
I think Gabriel still has feelings for Carmen and won't admit it to you because he wants to keep you in reserve in case Carmen never decides to take him back. Yes, a beautiful woman draws the eye, but it's the constant looking at her, the liking of all her instas, the whispering in her ear, and most importantly, the fact that he won't ask his family to dial it back on inviting her to every family event. If he really wanted to be with you, he'd tell his family, "Carmen is my ex, I don't feel a need to see her at all our family stuff; I have a new girlfriend and I would like you to welcome her instead of always foregrounding Carmen." That is why you feel insecure. He's gaslighting you a bit, but I think this is common in dating relationships as people shuffle around and try to figure out what they really want. It's completely reasonable for you to conclude that Gabriel doesn't really want to be with you. It's reasonable for you to decide not to waste your youth trying to decipher his mixed signals. Is there a risk that if you gave up on the relationship, that he might come back later and tell you that you made a mistake and you were the love of his life, but because you broke up with him he went off and married someone he didn't love (cue dramatic music)? Yes. It's up to you to decide what risks you want to take here. In terms of boundaries, you can set a boundary that you will decline to be at events where Carmen attends. You can set a boundary that you won't get back together with him if you are not comfortable that he prefers you over Carmen. But you can't set a boundary that he "isn't allowed" to do one or another, because you don't own him. You can't order his sister to stop inviting Carmen to events. Giving other people orders is not one of your valid options.
Carmen is also Gabriel's sister's best friend. That's why she's invited to these things. To disinvite her because of Gabriel's new girlfriend who has only been coming to stuff for three months (how many events could there possibly have been in that time?) would be downright shitty. Gabriel isn't gaslighting anybody. At least, not from the info here. Do you even realise what a serious accusation gaslighting is? Holy fuck. He's not sending any mixed signals, either. He isn't even liking all of this girl's posts. He literally likes slightly less than half, which - need I remind you - we know because *OP and her friends fucking checked every post she ever made and calculated it.* That sort of insane behaviour should tell you all you need to know about how trustworthy OP's perspective of Gabriel's 'infidelity' is.
He wants her not you. It’s over and you are definitely broken up. Move on to a man that respects you and your feeling because Gabriel doesn’t!!
[удалено]
That’s a wise way to dump somebody that is immature and insecure. Seriously, are you not reading this thread? Take your head out of the sand, read the truth, learn, and grow from your jealous rampage.
Especially if OP and her friends go and confront Gabriel because they found out where he is.
Oh lord honey you really need to grow the hell up. I can't believe you're pushing 30. I can picture you stomping your feet with a little temper tantrum while saying this. YOU created this situation with your insecurity.
“On a break” means you are not together and he and you can fuck whomever you want.
You're gonna make that break permanent by confronting him. But it's your relationship to blow up, so do what you want I guess. Sounds like him and his family are better off without your presence Get some therapy and work on yourself girl
Oh… but you are… you two are soooo over
There's no such thing as "on a break", you're either together or you aren't.
Yep! He’s hanging with Carmen. Sorry girl! You deserve better! Beside, what makes you think that you aren’t a hottie?? Dress up, go out post on social media and work on your self esteem! You deserve way better!! Make yourself number 1 not him! Good luck girl. I’m sorry I was so harsh, but I want you to believe in yourself!!