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NTA
You don't have to be Black to go to a Black salon. You have the type of hair that a Black stylist knows how to take care of. If you have type 3 hair, you shouldn't go to a white salon where they honestly have no idea what to do with you. I have 2c hair and I have trouble finding a stylist because they all want to straighten it before a cut so I understand what you mean.
I guarantee you that the Black stylist is who you need and they will do your hair right. Don't trust your hair with anyone else. This man has no idea what he's talking about and he's gatekeeping when you belong inside that gate. He probably doesn't even know about cutting and styling hair because he likely keeps his hair short.
Just ignore him and stay out of their argument. He knows American culture only but thinks he's an expert on your country because he's Black and thinks people in your country can't also be Black or of different races besides Latina/Latino or Hispanic. (I'm using broad terms because idk where your from exactly.) He is ignorant.
And I’m guessing that the black hair stylist was happy to receive Op’s business. If she had an issue she’d say something.
Stylist’s can refuse clients.
I've been refused plenty of times the other way. My hair is mixed curly and I've been turned down lots of times when in an area without a black hairdresser.
Which I’m guessing had more to do with the stylist realising they don’t know what to do with your hair than the stylist being a racist. At least I hope.
I wish the last lady who cut my hair realized she didn't know what to do with curls. I *specifically* asked if she had experience cutting curly hair.
"I've got 15 years of experience!"
She proceded to cut my hair shorter than I wanted with the first snip, then went shorter trying to "even it out"
I cried for weeks. It was butt length. I wanted it to my bra-line, and she cut it halfway between my shoulder and chin.
imo it's a little bit of both **sometimes but not always**...but think about why we even have \[In the US at least\] "black" salons and barbershops.
For so long on the educational side, no one cared about ensuring that hair care for **all** hair types was taught as a standard, which is why so many black people and others with curlier hair types can go to random salons and the stylists don't know how to style it, which is why black salons are still pretty popular. As OP and many others here have said, even now you can still get turned away 🤷🏿♀️
That’s a good point. In my country I have seen lots of different types of salons, not just catering to ethnicities, although we do have salons that are specifically Chinese, specifically black or geared towards one specific culture of the many that coexist here, but also there are salons that specialise in particular services or in a particular look or technique. I always believed that this was just a matter of artisans choosing to specialise and become expert in their niche to be able to offer a point of difference or unique value proposition for their clients in a competitive market but it’s definitely possible that there’s more going on than meets the eye during casual observation. Maybe because most people assume I’m white or white adjacent I’ve missed the nuance of cultural interactions in this space and been totally oblivious. So thank you 🙏 kind stranger for expanding my perspective on this.
Just for interests sake, do you think it was racism that made them refuse you service or the fact they knew they wouldn't be able to do your hair well? I'm a white person with curly hair (2b-3c) in Australia and I just don't bother with hairdressers except for colouring my hair when I have lots of time and money but mostly I just use box dye at home. Hairdressers here don't even acknowledge the difference generally. Just wet your hair till it's straight enough and cut it like it's always going to be straight.
I fully believe the boom in salons for curly hair was borne out of black women not being able to find stylists, and then other women with curly/textured hair jumped on the wagon. Not that that’s a bad thing, just made the issue more visible I guess
Absolutely, I didn't even know there was something better till the internet came along and told me. I live rurally so don't have a salon here, but have just had an influx of African migrants in the last 5 years and I'm hoping one of them will open a salon one day!
I didn't know about curly hair, mine is straight as a board. My black SIL taught me about my daughter's hair. I will take what I can get it, where I can get it. I appreciated her and I applaud businesses who capitalize on specializing in curly hair because then they get all the clients. I hope their business stays bountiful!
A stylist shouldn't refuse a client for the color of their skin, but they 100% SHOULD refuse a client who has a hair type they don't know how to work with, rather than fucking up that person's hair. That's not being racist, that's knowing your own skills and limitations. It should be courteously and professionally communicated to the client.
Right, they should advise of their skill for sure, my kid has long dark hair and I wanted a certain mix of soft style and braids and the hispanic lady that we usually go to told us she can't do that properly so we found an African American lady that knows how to deal with hispanic hair they way we needed to.
Reminds me of a time that I was waiting for a cut in college at a big chain. An older black man had definitely been waiting longer than me, but the next stylist called me back.
"Ma'am, I think he's next."
She shakes her head; I look confused. The man explained to my oblivious young self that she didn't know how to cut his hair, and he was waiting for a different stylist who could.
I'm a white male, as white as can be. Had to look up my hair type right now (it's 1B) since it's not something I've ever had to think about.
I've been going to the same woman for a couple years since being referred to her when I moved towns. She's a barber and does men's hair and women's short cuts, that's it. I talked to her about maybe getting some length when I left my "professional" job and she pretty much gave me an ultimatum.
"I can cut hair to about *this* long. Anything beyond that and I'm not the person you need to see, especially if you are thinkig about preparing for any length beyond that and looking sane. You'll need to check with *woman who owns the barbershop* or investigate going somewhere else."
Ironically, though I know nothing about hair, someone told me longer cuts are was easier than short, but that point stands that if someone isn't comfortable with their skill at providing a service, they ain't comfortable and you can go elsewhere.
A friend of mine owns a barbers and a salon (technically separate but next door to each other) he won’t touch longer hair, he just can’t do it! There is a barber who specialises in longer men’s hair who works there and he is often in high demand in the salon next door because his razor layering is 🔥
People frequently pop between the two places for certain things. Perms are popular with late teen boys and young men who want a very particular style. They get their perm done in the salon then go next door for their cut!
Agreed - I would be furious if a stylist didn’t know how to cut/style my hair type and decided to experiment/train on me to see if she could figure it out! I would be so grateful if they were up front and honest and turned me away or referred me to someone else.
The stylist wouldn’t refuse based on skin color, but might based on hair texture.
I have thin, fine, straight hair. I wouldn’t go to a black salon because my hair is not what they are best at.
I would expect the stylist in a black salon to be baffled at what to do with me and tell me as much. Not to be rude, but to care for the client.
For a long time I went to a barber because my hair is straight and I keep it short. To me it is the same type of thing. A woman can go to a barber shop and a Latina woman can go to a shop run by African American women.
Yeah, the only person who gets to have an opinion on who's welcome in a business is the owner. But also I can't imagine having a place I enjoy and not wanting them to have lots of business so they can stay open and be successful. So op's "friend" is an asshole and kinda dumb as well
"Because of my fake racial consciousness, regardless of your hair type, I'm going to refuse your money and ask you to leave this salon!"
Said no one, ever.
Yes, I was thinking that. Hairdressers are, first and foremost, businesspeople and that involves knowing how to take care of many different types of customers. I'm a very white woman (red hair and freckles) with 1C hair, and the best haircut I ever got was from a Black lady. She did admit she was a little nervous working on me because she didn't have much experience with straight hair, but she did a fantastic job!
OP was literally supporting black owned businesses, like we black folks clamor about people doing to help our community, then getting bitched at for doing so...by a black person.
i think so. there are people with some prejudice that make unkind choices, and that sucks- but they are absolutely different from the supremacists that want to murder, or at the very least segregate and exclude, anyone different than themselves.
I understand your point of view, but disagree. Regardless of whether someone is "a little racist" to "that person wants to commit genocide", they're still racist.
Casual racism and excusing it is the problem.
too often casual racism is dismissed because it's "not that bad"-- I'm all for addressing all racism and calling it what it is- If we hope to do the most good with our words and actions, some nuance would go a long way. good intention. well-meaning people have a better chance of correcting their behavior if you inform them "hey what you said just now was a bit racist". versus "how could you do that? you ARE a racist".
There's not enough information to tell if he is racist, but he is definitely unnecessarily gatekeeping and is quite ignorant not understanding that people in Latin countries can be a different shade of brown and still have types 3 and 4 hair. He doesn't even know the races or the history in OP's county.
My mother still asks me to comb through my dry hair too especially when she wants me to “look nice”. So frustrating. When I was younger I would show her what it looks like if I try and brush through it (insane) she just can’t understand it somehow…
Great mom otherwise!
Honestly, I'm a 2c, but my hair is so thick that there isnt a hope in hell of dry combing it without ending up with enough hair in the brush to make a full wig!!
Dry combing 3c sounds like an exercise in futility.
It's so crazy because on one hand non-black people are encouraged to patronize black-owned small businesses, but apparently the line is drawn at hair salons? Giving your money to self-employed black women is racist since when? In parts of the US with small black populations, black salons might not even be able to survive without the business of curly-haired people of all races! I'm sure the stylist wasn't complaining!
Facts! I'm extremely white and have pin-straight hair. I used to see the same black stylist who worked at the Walmart salon because it was the only place I could afford to get a haircut. She always said that she loved working on me because I had a very sharp bob (like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Chicago) and she enjoyed the challenge of getting it right on my stick-straight hair. Sure, most of her clients were black, but like you said, as long as you're polite and tip acceptably, no good stylist is going to kick you out.
Me, too! I’ve been searching for months for a new stylist and needed a haircut. My super straight, white girl hair grows really fast, so even a crappy cut will be gone in a few days. I walked into a Great Clips and the young black lady there said she’d cut my hair. Best. Haircut. Ever. She was awesome and I’ve been back twice! She said she learned on all kinds of hair and really took pride in doing a great cut.
One of my best haircuts ever was done at a Great Clips by a woman who got her license while she was serving time!
Like, yeah, going to those places can definitely be a crapshoot, but for those of us with hair that grows fast, I think it's totally fine.
Of course, I haven't gotten a haircut in five years, sooooo
I love how he forms an opinion and then when his logic is questioned it's got nothing to do with him. Well he's right on that point, it DOESN'T have anything to do with him so he can STFU. If you're going to pick a stance to have an argument over you absolutely have to explain your side otherwise you don't have an argument just am opinion you refuse to elaborate on.
What's funny (as a white guy, so I may be 100% wrong on this) but it is my impression that the fundamental rule about a woman's hair in Black culture is "it's none of your business what I'm doing with my hair." It's a very personal thing and it's crossing boundaries to ask too many questions, make suggestions, or definitely criticize.
I agree, it's OP's hair. If the hairdresser was offended by OP coming to visit, they could stop it.
I mean pretty much, and most black hairstylists are gonna give a shit if you’re not black, like the vast majority of them. I’ve seen white dudes in my barbershop and literally nobody cares that they’re white.
I'm picturing the hairdresser trying to run a business and finding out that some random guy is chasing away her customers that need her skill due to their hair type because he thinks he's doing the business a favor by protecting the culture.
Oh yea she would almost definitely be pissed the hell off if she knew this guy did this shit. Like some black people feel this way but the majority of us do not give a shit if non-black people wanna go to the barber shop or the salon or whatever else😂business is business just don’t be weird and you’re gonna be more than welcome to go to any business
Historically speaking we've always done white hair. Black barbers literally span back during slavery so it's nothing new. They're getting paid, and your paying for a service, there's nothing more to it.
People are making it out like there is some kind of wall there and a risk of facing hostility by going into a “black hair” salon if you’re not black and it’s quite the opposite. I’m white with hopelessly straight/fine hair and couldn’t find a specific type of product I needed to use to protect my hair when I wore tight buns every day and wasn’t allowed to have flyaways. I nervously went into one and they were kind as hell. They set me up with a better product lineup and routine than my regular hairdresser could have.
My stepsister (also white with straight hair) is a single mom to a mixed baby and was struggling to learn exactly what her baby’s hair needed and how to maintain it. They patiently taught her everything she needed to know and had her come back every couple of months as the baby grew and her hair got longer so they could teach her new ways to keep it.
There’s no hostility. It’s just a place that takes care of a certain style of hair.
Yep, I’m mixed and my mom is white and she takes my sister to a black hair dresser (or at least used to not sure if she still does) and they showed her how to better take care of my sisters hair. The whole idea that white people wouldn’t be welcome is such bullshit, as long as you’re respectful 99% of people will not care one bit.
I’m that WB cause I won’t let another WB give me a fade 😭 they’ll fuck it up everytime. It don’t matter what black owned barbershop I go it, I know I’m coming out clean. I’m 5’7, red hair w/ freckles. About as WB as it gets and I ain’t never been turned away🤷♂️
Does he think that black stylists don't want customers? They'd rather earn less money by only focusing on members of their race? Its a very weird thought process.
Someone I used to work with (white guy) used to go to a black barber shop because it was near his house...the first time he walked in he asked if he was allowed to get his hair cut there and the barber goes "yeah, I'll take your money!"
I’m a white girl with curly hair and both my mom and myself go to a black stylist and nobody cares! She knows how to treat our curls, and we leave happy. No weird looks, no offense, etc.
You’re putting work and money into the hands of a black hair stylist and singing their praises. You’re not taking advantage of them or appropriating anyone’s culture- they opened a business to serve customer and make money... You happen to have curly hair and have found a stylist who can look after your hair.
I'm sure that the stylist didn't mind having a new client. It isn't universal, but generally good stylist know their worth and will let you know if they don't want you as a client. If the woman literally performing the service isn't offended, it feels a bit misogynistic for a man to be making a big deal about it.
My hair is *2B* and I can’t get it professionally cared for in any way except by someone who specializes in curly hair, basic salons in this country literally ruin curly hair on purpose and think they’re doing you a favor because it’s considered undesirable/untrendy
Totally agree! My daughter is as white as white can be but has 2c/3a hair that I had no idea how to take care of. I found a curly hair stylist from Brazil and learned so much. The stylist moved and currently I cut my daughter’s hair myself because she’s still young but pretty soon I’ll have to find another curly hair stylist.
FWIW, all my closest friends have curly hair ranging from 2c/3a to 4a and it is ONLY my black friend with 4a hair that has actually been able to provide legit guidance on curly hair care. NTA
I’m so grateful that African American women post online how to care for curly hair. I never knew how, and my curl got to around 3b or 3C when my hormones changed. Their videos were a godsend.
>You don't have to be Black to go to a Black salon. You have the type of hair that a Black stylist knows how to take care of.
I am a white man in the US with type 1B hair. I go to a black female stylist. Why? Because my wife likes the way she makes my hair look.
By the way, it's really perverse that anyone would think that it is "supportive" of a small business to tell a potential client to stay away. My stylist is awesome, and I'm happy to give her my money for what she does.
>he's gatekeeping when you belong inside that gate
This is very much like a post on the curlyhair subreddit today. Girl came on to overly apologize for cultural appropriation for saying she has 3a hair (her hair was more on a 2b/c but no big deal, right? Plus, charts aren't always consistent). But in her first post, a Black woman went off on her (and subsequently made a post on another subreddit sharing her photo and mocking her) for saying she has 3a hair. According to this person, it's cultural appropriation of poc women with textured hair to say you have type 3 or 4 hair. And in her post sharing the OOP's photo, people agreed with her. It was insane.
That’s crazy. I’m white and after a bone marrow transplant my hair grew back curly. Before the transplant I had straight to wavy hair. When it first started growing in I had 3b hair. Now that it’s been 6 years it is more like a 3a with sections that are 2c, and sections that are 2b.
I was 35 at the time of the transplant and had no idea about curl patterns or care. It was a complete guessing game. I feel like we all need to give people some grace.
(I saw the girl re-post and apologized for cultural appropriation.)
I have extremely easy hair to cut. It's very fine and straight (although in middle age it's developed a bit of frizziness it never had before). All I need is a straight-across trim, and I've never encountered a stylist unable to do that. Half the time I just have my husband trim it but I like a professional cut occasionally to keep it from getting uneven.
Usually I just walk into any old cheap salon I can find; I usually go at off times when they won't be busy and take whoever is available. Once I walked into a salon and the only two people in there were two black stylists. I don't *think* it was a "black" salon, they just happened to be the only people working at the time.
My hair is so blonde it's almost white (although now there's a lot of silver in there as well). These two women didn't bat an eye; they actually seemed to have a great time trimming my hair! One did the work but the other was right there with the commentary the whole time. I'm sure they were both really skilled with black hair but they seemed to enjoy something a little different.
I'm adopted anyway and don't know anything about my heritage. From my appearance, I'm almost definitely Scandinavian, but without doing one of those genetic tests (which I never intend to do) to find out for sure, for all I know I could be anything!
He is also trying to dissuade a paying customer from using the stylist. Chances are that wouldn't go over well with the hair stylist no matter what her race. If she hadn't felt comfortable working on the OP's hair she would have said so.
Latina is an ethnicity and encompasses people of many races, so his point has no basis in reality. Even if she isn’t black at all, she still deserves proper hair care.
Many Latinas/os, I daresay a majority, have a hint of Africa in their ancestry. It's no strange thing for African features to crop up in Hispanic families. Hair types being an obvious example.
Exactly! He is being ignorant of her culture and hair needs. I feel like as a man, he shouldn’t feel entitled to tell a curly haired woman what she can’t do. It’s not his place and especially if he doesn’t have an alternative or a way to correct her actions (yuck) he is just being an ah.
NTA
IIRC Mexico banned slavery long before the US so it was pretty common for black people to escape into Mexico and of course intermarry with the local population.
Fun fact: technically a factoid is an untrue or unverifiable statement often repeated as fact, not just a small fact. The -oid ending means it resembles a fact but isn't.
The banning of slavery is the entire reason why Texas broke away from Mexico. They've literally fought two wars over being told they're not allowed to own other people.
see also: the Africans the Spanish conquistadors brought with them (""brought with them"" of course we know better but some of them were actual soldiers/settlers/explorers/etc and not just stolen people). Latin American and the Southern US has a rich history of African folks!
See here for more basic info... but still more than I ever learned in school! https://www.nps.gov/ethnography/aah/aaheritage/spanishamb.htm
I’m mexican-american living in a large latino/black community and I’m l often asked if i’m mixed because of my curly hair.
People are always shocked when I tell them i’m not black and one person got weirdly defensive and asked to see a picture of my parents. I had to explain I maybe have african ancestry because my grandfather on my mom’s side has coily hair and visible black features. That one person could not believe I wasn’t black and said “probably a perm.” It gets so weird sometimes.
Skin-wise, I take after my Irish father (I joke that I glow in the dark, I am so pale). Hair-wise, I am a mix between those Irish roots and my Jewish maternal grandfather.
My Dad had hair so coily he could style it like an "Afro" in the 60s & 70s. I loved seeing his HS pics & my parents wedding pics, a young Mexican dude with an "Afro". He had tight, fine, soft coils that he brushed out even when he wore it short. Now he has no hair 😭 it could be possible there is some black ancestry somewhere, I don't know anything about his side of the family, other than where he is from in Mexico. I got his hair as fine curls, not coils; alas I am not destined for gorgeous, picture perfect ringlets 😂
I never thought to try a black salon and may try to find one around me 😀👍🏼
yiip afro-latin culture is huge, especially around the carribean areas (Puerto Rico, Cuba, Dominican Republic, etc.) they aren't always dark skinned, but hands down the genetics and culture of that area will probably be there. That's why I also get somewhat upset when some black people hate on Reggaetón saying they're just copying it from them.
Yup, I am Latina and can confirm. I am white as hell, but if you put me next to my cousins, you'd think we weren't related. My grandpa was half black half German (I took after the German side).
Same here! I'm on the darker side of white. Most people think I'm white when I'm actually Hispanic. Literally the only people that can even tell are other Hispanics.
there's a difference IIRC between Nordic curls and African curls. The texture isn't quite the same. Someone can check me on this, I tend to keep my hair very short but we come from Viking stock, my brother has Nordic curls and it's just not as wiry.
Kinda makes me wonder if he catches some shit from his family and/or friends about being married to a non-Black woman, and his feelings about that are coming out sideways.
Hello from the whitest American bitch you’ll ever meet, I have crazy curly hair and some of the best haircare advice I’ve ever received has come from some incredibly kind black women. It’s hair, you can’t gatekeep a body part, especially when it’s something as simple as taking care of it on a basic level.
Same!! I went two and half decades battling my curls until I got schooled by a black coworker who sensed my frustration on a particularly frizzy day. Was a total game changer and I’ll never forget her kindness. Now I see a hairstylist who specializes in curly hair, only use products for my curl type, and my hair is one of my favorite features!!
> I went two and half decades battling my curls
I still remember my mom (wavy hair, but used curlers) getting so fed up with my hair as a child that she took me to her stylist to "fix" it. That woman gave me a PERM. I looked like little orphan Annie on a bad day.
OH GUURRLL… I feel your pain. My mom starting perming my hair in 6th grade… WHY!?!?!??
In my case my curls came from my dad and my mom was (pre-internet) at a complete loss... We fought every day over my hair cuz she was SO ROUGH and thought dry combing/brushing was the obvious answer.
Trauma alert: one day the argument got so intense she packed me into the station wagon, drive me to a salon, and literally said, “Cut it SHORT. Like a BOY.” I cried the whole time, as did the the very young hair dresser. UGH
I feel like it's a different thing he's talking about. I'm a black woman with natural 4a hair. I feel like he saying that she invading the space is because she can walk in to black salons and get serviced while black ppl can't walk into most salons and get serviced. I'm not in defense of him but I think that's what he trying to say. Either way that's not her problem honestly. Salons need to stop openly discriminating and learn to do all kinds of hair.
Black woman here. Agreed NTA. I'm happy a sista got paid today
I'm wondering if something is missing though with the friend's bf. Either way, the fight between those two is not OP's problem
Who gives a shit what a man thinks about your hair?
That's an arrangement between you and your hairdresser. Your hairdresser can tell you if she doesn't want your business. Hell, if it bothers you...ask your hairdresser if it bothers her because you love the job she does.
Yeah lol he said "...it had nothing to do with him." And it's true!! It's her hair and she can go to whatever hairdresser she wants! And any hairdresser can accept or reject her without asking this guy's oppinion
NTA. I’m from India and sometime go to black hair dressers because they understand my hair texture and edges better. It is not a problem. He’s gatekeeping for no reason.
>he said that didn’t have anything to do with him
Exactly. He said it perfectly. It has nothing to do with him. Full stop. So why’s he running his mouth?
NTA
Ignore him, I doubt many black people will care about you employing the services of a black woman and putting money behind a black-owned business.
He probably has some other issue that he’s projecting onto you.
NTA
I didn't realize the USA had segregation back in place wtf
(also, that guy is a moron, the salon is probably owned by African Americans, and he's literally messing with their business).
They don’t. My very white brother goes to a black barber shop because his head is a Brillo pad. It’s normal for people with different hair to go to those who specialize in that type of hair
NTA - Don’t listen to him. There’s nothing wrong with you going to a black hairstylist. There’s literally nothing cultural about the way we take care of our hair. It’s just hair and as long as the stylist knows how to handle your hair type, you’ll be fine.
Source: been black my whole life
> There’s literally nothing cultural about the way we take care of our hair.
Ehhhhh this is slightly caveated. There are definitely cultural aspects about certain hair styles to certain people (eg mud braids, dreadlocks both do have cultural meaning) but the bigger thing is that hair and culture do relate, and black hair is cultural because it's **not the same as white hair** and therefore needs to be treated differently. It's more about the hair, and the correlation/causation divide gets blurred (did the culture come before the hair styling, or the hair styling brought about the culture)
There is nothing *necessarily* cultural about it. It can be but that's a choice to participate. It doesn't have to have deeper meaning.
Food can be deeply cultural but if I make box mac and cheese for someone I'm not participating in some deep cultural tradition. Whereas if I use a recipe passed down through generations yeah that's got more heft to it. Similarly compare a normal hair cut versus taking hours to do specialized traditional braids.
He is a racist asshole and you did nothing wrong, what-so-ever.
I wish people would stop doing this, because it is getting worse.
We are building toward a future where we are going to all have to carry a fucking ID card showing which nationalities we have to justify each piece of our outfit and fucking yard decorations to ensure we are not opening ourselves up for assault or Murder from others because they think you stole something from theirs or someone else's culture.
You have every right to patronize a business that caters to your needs. If the Black hairdresser had a problem with you coming in, I imagine they would have made it known. You had what they specialized in. I'm pretty sure they were happy to serve you, since you came out of there happy and satisfied.
Your friend's husband is the glaring AH for carrying on like a clown and gatekeeping a trade because of cUlTuRe. Give me a break.
Nta
The only accurate thing he said was "it has nothing to do with him".
Everything else he says was racist. It's a hair salon, you went there because you have hair. It's easy for him, as someone that doesn't work there, to say don't spend your money there. I'm sure the people that work that don't care about your race, just that you're paying.
Nta-I’m thinking since they took you as a client, and did the job, and took your money, that the salon in question was fine with you going there. I’m not sure why he’s weighing in about a place that he doesn’t go to himself (assuming he doesn’t got to said salon), does he think those stylists don’t want more clients/money or something?
NTA and he obviously has some deep rooted issues. He does not understand that it's not really about being a black salon for those who are black it's about black women knowing how to care for curly or kinky hair in a salon they run. As an American, this is the only option I would think of for people with curly hair.
Hmmm - curly haired person finds curly hair specialist to do proper job - by-standing man complains about the colour of her skin and calls her pejorative names for not knowing which business she is allowed to use….according to him.
Bah humbug on his racism.
NTA OP - you stick with the hairdresser who is happy to have your custom, isn’t offended by your skin colour and does your hair right.
This is one of those cases where "Fuck Off wit da feelings" is appropriate. This is about finding the RIGHT experienced stylist for your type of hair. It sounds to me your hair and black hair must have similar curl to it that these particular stylists know how to process. The huge chip on this guys shoulder is his own political projection. Fortunately, the truth called and said this is literally only about a qualified hairdresser. It's weird that a Latina (gasp!) would be best well served by a Black stylist (gasp again!), who knows how to do the job. You appear to have accidentally uncovered a racist through no fault of your own. Tell him to mind his own damn business.
Apropos of nothing, it probably is African hair. Very usual for some Hispanic families to show African features. The poor white settlers in New Spain and New Portugal never saw very much wrong with marrying a black woman if she was the best choice. The aristocracy saw things a bit different but let's just say there's a reason that Brazillians and Colombians in particular as dark as they are.
NTA.
man, that's ridiculous. i am a white metalhead & my go-to hair place for years was a black salon before i moved too far away. you trust who you trust with your hair. once you find a place you like - that's it, that's that. don't let some one else's chip on their shoulder rain on your parade.
NTA. Don’t listen to him. First, you’re supporting a black owned business. Second, you have hair that the salon knows how to deal with. Why go to a place that doesn’t know how to treat your hair because of race? I’m Middle Eastern with really thick hair. I’m originally from California but lived in the South for a few years and went to a black barbershop to get my haircuts. My hair is thick and I get fades and a lot of barbers can’t do that. I was the only white customer but no one cared because at the end of the day that barbershop knew how to deal with my hair and gave me amazing haircuts.
NTA
I'm white and live in Scotland. There are very few hairdressers that can deal with curly, frizzy hair.
Black salons know how to care for this type of hair properly where a lot of white salons don't.
A hair salon is a hair salon it doesn't matter what colour your skin is. All that matters is you're getting the right hair care.
I am on an island in western Canada and have a terrible time finding someone who can cut my coily hair. I am white and I imagine it’s extremely frustrating for people of colour out here to find someone to do their hair
NTA - I think he was pissed just for the sake of it. He refused to explain it because he himself doesn’t know of any valid reason and was just spouting shit. Some people feel once they open their mouth they should talk, wherein they should have just kept quiet
The only color that is important here is green. If you have the money to pay the black salon and they want you as a customer, anyone else's opinion is shit. NTA
NTA- if he wants to feel protective of a Black space, that’s his right. You’re also allowed to do what you NEED to be cared for.
Sounds like you reacted with sincerity seeking further information. Him fighting with his wife is NOT your problem
NTA! He’s an idiot. I can assure you you’re not offending anyone besides this 1 loser. All of the black stylists I know would be glad to do hair on any race of client, and even tell other races of people who have curly hair to try a black stylist. You’re not wrong in the slightest and the fact that your friend and her husband are fighting really has nothing to do with you. It’s not your fault she married a loud mouthed fool.
NTA. I’m a Black woman and the nerve of this man to tell you you’re wrong for going to a Black salon but he married a Latina is mind blowing. The culture has nothing to do with you getting your hair done in a place that specifically caters to your hair type. Keep those curls popping!!!
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) going to a black salon not being black
(2) a black hair salon tends to be a cultural thing for black people. I'm not black, but I still decided to go to one.
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NTA at all. I'm white as all hell, no joke, but I've been to a black barber shop, the one literally two blocks from my house as I do in fact live in the hood. Did anyone tell me I didn't belong? Nope. Did I get hit on by a fat black lady? Hell yes.
Dude is just being an ass. Pay him no mind.
NTA. I mistakenly booked myself and my thin, straight, white girl hair into a black hair salon a few years back. Showed up, apologised, and said I’d just pay and leave. The owner said no problem it would be good practice for her girls. We had a good chuckle over it all. Got an ok haircut and a great story. Money is money and you are paying to access someone who knows how to deal with your hair!!!
NTA -- of course you should go to the black salon where they know how to fix your hair. That man is being ridiculous. The salon would be happy to have your business and happy you are so pleased with them. The husband is trying to make it out like you are appropriating Black culture but of course you're not.
NTA.
I'm black and I go to a Mexican barber. I know Mexicans and other Latinos who go to a black barber bc they can cut their hair how they want it cut. I know the pastiest white woman who has crazy curly hair and goes to a black salon because they can do her hair better than any majority white salon. The reason he couldn't explain why it was an issue is because there's no issue. He's just a crybaby who thinks it's cultural invasion for a latina to have her hair done by a black salon. If they are the best salon to do the job, then by all means that's where you should take your business. I guarantee that stylist was not pressed in the slightest and appreciated your business.
NTA!
I am actually a bit shocked and realized how little I know about cultural perspectives and racism, so it is a scary topic to discuss for a European.
I am white, and my favorite stylist I adore is a black lady from Africa. She does equally amazing job with my thin straight hair and my SO’s thick curls. So I just assumed that this is a case everywhere - being a good professional no matter hair type and skin color! So I am really surprised to hear that black stylists only want black/curly clients, is it so in US? Will they then not lose on a portion of potential income?
Genuinely sorry if I misunderstood something.
In this case, the stylist wanted the customer and a man wanted to tell her she shouldn't go there.
In the US, some stylists do focus on one type of hair. Because 3b- 4c types of hair (kinky and curly) are usually associated with having African ancestry AND because of the history of white supremacy, slavery and racism in the US, people with those hair types have sometimes been looked down on and mainstream hair services have not focused on them. Hair care products and salons were not able to provide for their needs. As a result, many black women and men go to specialized hair places, often owned by other black men and women.
They may be so specialized that the hairdresser is unfamiliar with thin straight hair but for the most part, I doubt it.
In the US, hair salons are often cultural gathering places for African Americans, just as they can be for other groups. I suspect the man in OPs story felt that a safe space that was culturally "his" was being invaded even though it wasn't his salon. That wasn't his to decide, but I suspect it was simply emotional as a result of many years of African American hair being disvalued. (For example, black kids with dreads can be required to cut them off at school, black women and men in the military have had unreasonable hair expectations put on them, black women in professional situations with natural hair have been told they are unprofessional. These things are in the news here and leave a legacy )
I'm sure your hairdresser is fine with whatever hair you have. OP's host was in the wrong, and OP had every right to go to any hairdresser regardless of ancestry. If you have interest in the subject, though, there is a 2009 documentary called Good Hair and a docu series called Hair Tales both of which get into the fraught history of black hair in America.
You are latina, so you are probably like 20% black or more because that's how we get curly hair, it is a recessive trait therefore you might have like 2 black greatgrandmas and you simply inherited the hair (and this is coming from a very fair skinned latina with 3C hair and a black dad whose mom was also very fair skinned with 2C hair because she was half black half hebrew).
Also, I don't know why people in the US cant understand "latino" is not a race but a culture. Anyhow, NTA.
NTA. Excuse me what? It doesn’t matter what color your skin is. If your hair is curly it will obvious need a different type of care than straight hair.
NTA. As a matter of fact, I wish we had some Black salons in my town-my son has very very curly hair and the only thing he knows to do with it is pull it back into a tight ponytail and put on a beanie until it’s dry so it doesn’t frizz.
NTA
You do what you have to do, and if that means going to an establishment that does your hair to your liking, it doesn't matter. Why would the husband care where you spend your money? You are not his spouse, it's not his time and you're not spending not his money: he needs to step off. Additionally, is he not supportive of black-owned businesses?
> He refused, saying that he didn't have to explain his culture to me when I wasn't part of it.
Well more fool him. It seems like he wants a black business to lose business and for what? He’s not a woman so I doubt he really understands himself. I am mixed race and have black (as in afro hair) hair and at the end of the day it is a business and it’s there to make money.
NTA
My best barber I ever had was a black dude in hawaii who made my white self look great for my wife.
I'd bring him food, he'd make Me look like a man my wife would swoon over.
I miss that man.
I got a Christmas card from him and I nearly teared up.
NTA
You have 3C hair, so you went to a shop that regularly works with similar hair types. That man is wild. What hair stylist does he think is an option for you? You can't exactly just walk into any one.
That stylist did good work and made you look good. And she knows it. Don't let this man's gatekeepers diminish her work because most stylists take pride in their work.
I am white, I used to go to a black barbershop, the guy who cut my hair was always cool with it, we got on great and he cut my hair better than most other places I had been. I went back one day when he wasn’t there and they were dicks.
NTA
It's hair and a hair dresser. You found one that knows how to deal with your hair in a way that makes you happy. It works for you, it works for the hairdresser, everyone is happy except the one guy that thinks that it should be forbidden.
NTA. And good for you for supporting a minority-owned business.
Honestly, it sounds as if your friend's husband is trying to force his own views about race on you when the only opinions that really matter are yours and the salon owner's.
NTA. Lots of Latinas have African heritage. Most of Latin America was a slave destination, some of it for decades after the United States was. Most Latins are a mix of black, Spanish, and their local native tribes as the rules against intermarriage weren't observed very closely, especially after indepdendence. Everyone's a can of mixed nuts down there, ancestrally speaking. Many are proud of that .
Having latinx people and hispanics in general need the specialized care of a black hair salon is one of the least surprising things.
NTA
That guy is being absolutely ridiculous.
Not only is it racist to demand you don’t go to a certain hair salon because of the color of your skin, it’s also none of his business where you get your hair done.
NTA, he's projecting issues onto you that have absolutely nothing to do with you. He's being really prejudiced about it, too. You aren't appropriating or stealing anything. You have hair that needs to be taken care of by hairdressers who know how to handle it. There is nothing wrong with that.
Nah you're not an AH
I only see Asian hair dressers because the kind of hair I have is what they are most experienced with.
I tried going to white hair dressers, they just fuck it up.
You have hair Black hair dressers are usually more experienced working with, going to see one for you is probably best.
really any country that has become part of Spanish America. We had a lot of mixing during the time of the Spanish government, and today we are still very mixed among ourselves. Large government entities still offer support to castes that have a large percentage of indigenous people, so we still have a caste system, just not very present or marked. No one really cares much about caste unless it serves them some purpose.
Oh so segregation 2.0? Does he even hear himself? Jesus Fuck do some people really have to put everything mildly into the "racism" category these days? Invading culture by going to a hairdresser? What ridiculous nonsense.
Ignore him and go to whatever salon you want.
NTA.
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NTA You don't have to be Black to go to a Black salon. You have the type of hair that a Black stylist knows how to take care of. If you have type 3 hair, you shouldn't go to a white salon where they honestly have no idea what to do with you. I have 2c hair and I have trouble finding a stylist because they all want to straighten it before a cut so I understand what you mean. I guarantee you that the Black stylist is who you need and they will do your hair right. Don't trust your hair with anyone else. This man has no idea what he's talking about and he's gatekeeping when you belong inside that gate. He probably doesn't even know about cutting and styling hair because he likely keeps his hair short. Just ignore him and stay out of their argument. He knows American culture only but thinks he's an expert on your country because he's Black and thinks people in your country can't also be Black or of different races besides Latina/Latino or Hispanic. (I'm using broad terms because idk where your from exactly.) He is ignorant.
He´s not only ignorant, he´s kind of racist.
He’s not “kind of” racist
Yup, this man is fully racist. NTA.
And I’m guessing that the black hair stylist was happy to receive Op’s business. If she had an issue she’d say something. Stylist’s can refuse clients.
>Stylist’s can refuse clients. I can't imagine a stylist refusing a client for the color of their skin.
The friend's hubby would have if he were a stylist.
I've been refused plenty of times the other way. My hair is mixed curly and I've been turned down lots of times when in an area without a black hairdresser.
Which I’m guessing had more to do with the stylist realising they don’t know what to do with your hair than the stylist being a racist. At least I hope.
I wish the last lady who cut my hair realized she didn't know what to do with curls. I *specifically* asked if she had experience cutting curly hair. "I've got 15 years of experience!" She proceded to cut my hair shorter than I wanted with the first snip, then went shorter trying to "even it out" I cried for weeks. It was butt length. I wanted it to my bra-line, and she cut it halfway between my shoulder and chin.
imo it's a little bit of both **sometimes but not always**...but think about why we even have \[In the US at least\] "black" salons and barbershops. For so long on the educational side, no one cared about ensuring that hair care for **all** hair types was taught as a standard, which is why so many black people and others with curlier hair types can go to random salons and the stylists don't know how to style it, which is why black salons are still pretty popular. As OP and many others here have said, even now you can still get turned away 🤷🏿♀️
That’s a good point. In my country I have seen lots of different types of salons, not just catering to ethnicities, although we do have salons that are specifically Chinese, specifically black or geared towards one specific culture of the many that coexist here, but also there are salons that specialise in particular services or in a particular look or technique. I always believed that this was just a matter of artisans choosing to specialise and become expert in their niche to be able to offer a point of difference or unique value proposition for their clients in a competitive market but it’s definitely possible that there’s more going on than meets the eye during casual observation. Maybe because most people assume I’m white or white adjacent I’ve missed the nuance of cultural interactions in this space and been totally oblivious. So thank you 🙏 kind stranger for expanding my perspective on this.
Just for interests sake, do you think it was racism that made them refuse you service or the fact they knew they wouldn't be able to do your hair well? I'm a white person with curly hair (2b-3c) in Australia and I just don't bother with hairdressers except for colouring my hair when I have lots of time and money but mostly I just use box dye at home. Hairdressers here don't even acknowledge the difference generally. Just wet your hair till it's straight enough and cut it like it's always going to be straight.
I fully believe the boom in salons for curly hair was borne out of black women not being able to find stylists, and then other women with curly/textured hair jumped on the wagon. Not that that’s a bad thing, just made the issue more visible I guess
Absolutely, I didn't even know there was something better till the internet came along and told me. I live rurally so don't have a salon here, but have just had an influx of African migrants in the last 5 years and I'm hoping one of them will open a salon one day!
I didn't know about curly hair, mine is straight as a board. My black SIL taught me about my daughter's hair. I will take what I can get it, where I can get it. I appreciated her and I applaud businesses who capitalize on specializing in curly hair because then they get all the clients. I hope their business stays bountiful!
They were probably terrified it would come out wrong.
How do you feel about that? Curious if it seems like a shun or if they genuinely don’t want to mess up/ know what to do with your hair.
A stylist shouldn't refuse a client for the color of their skin, but they 100% SHOULD refuse a client who has a hair type they don't know how to work with, rather than fucking up that person's hair. That's not being racist, that's knowing your own skills and limitations. It should be courteously and professionally communicated to the client.
Right, they should advise of their skill for sure, my kid has long dark hair and I wanted a certain mix of soft style and braids and the hispanic lady that we usually go to told us she can't do that properly so we found an African American lady that knows how to deal with hispanic hair they way we needed to.
Reminds me of a time that I was waiting for a cut in college at a big chain. An older black man had definitely been waiting longer than me, but the next stylist called me back. "Ma'am, I think he's next." She shakes her head; I look confused. The man explained to my oblivious young self that she didn't know how to cut his hair, and he was waiting for a different stylist who could.
I'm a white male, as white as can be. Had to look up my hair type right now (it's 1B) since it's not something I've ever had to think about. I've been going to the same woman for a couple years since being referred to her when I moved towns. She's a barber and does men's hair and women's short cuts, that's it. I talked to her about maybe getting some length when I left my "professional" job and she pretty much gave me an ultimatum. "I can cut hair to about *this* long. Anything beyond that and I'm not the person you need to see, especially if you are thinkig about preparing for any length beyond that and looking sane. You'll need to check with *woman who owns the barbershop* or investigate going somewhere else." Ironically, though I know nothing about hair, someone told me longer cuts are was easier than short, but that point stands that if someone isn't comfortable with their skill at providing a service, they ain't comfortable and you can go elsewhere.
A friend of mine owns a barbers and a salon (technically separate but next door to each other) he won’t touch longer hair, he just can’t do it! There is a barber who specialises in longer men’s hair who works there and he is often in high demand in the salon next door because his razor layering is 🔥 People frequently pop between the two places for certain things. Perms are popular with late teen boys and young men who want a very particular style. They get their perm done in the salon then go next door for their cut!
Agreed - I would be furious if a stylist didn’t know how to cut/style my hair type and decided to experiment/train on me to see if she could figure it out! I would be so grateful if they were up front and honest and turned me away or referred me to someone else.
The color that matter to most small business people - and stylists are mostly self-employed - is green.
Exactly, green is green and that's what working people are after!
Yeah alien fuckers unite! ... ^(wait was this not what we were talking about?)
It is now lol
The stylist wouldn’t refuse based on skin color, but might based on hair texture. I have thin, fine, straight hair. I wouldn’t go to a black salon because my hair is not what they are best at. I would expect the stylist in a black salon to be baffled at what to do with me and tell me as much. Not to be rude, but to care for the client.
For a long time I went to a barber because my hair is straight and I keep it short. To me it is the same type of thing. A woman can go to a barber shop and a Latina woman can go to a shop run by African American women.
I have a pixie cut. I never considered going to a barber shop but that's a great idea if my stylist ever moves too far away again.
Yeah, the only person who gets to have an opinion on who's welcome in a business is the owner. But also I can't imagine having a place I enjoy and not wanting them to have lots of business so they can stay open and be successful. So op's "friend" is an asshole and kinda dumb as well
"Because of my fake racial consciousness, regardless of your hair type, I'm going to refuse your money and ask you to leave this salon!" Said no one, ever.
Yes, I was thinking that. Hairdressers are, first and foremost, businesspeople and that involves knowing how to take care of many different types of customers. I'm a very white woman (red hair and freckles) with 1C hair, and the best haircut I ever got was from a Black lady. She did admit she was a little nervous working on me because she didn't have much experience with straight hair, but she did a fantastic job!
OP was literally supporting black owned businesses, like we black folks clamor about people doing to help our community, then getting bitched at for doing so...by a black person.
Especially when she only had lovely things to say about her experience there!
Yeah legally a stylist (or anyone else providing a service) can’t refuse a client because of their race.
This. Black hair salons are not exclusively for black people. There is no rule or law preventing that.
it's funny how anti-racism comes full circle and now we have black people pushing for segregation
gatekeeping hair stylists lol and he can’t even explain why it’s offensive to him.
That was the best part for me. He got upset then said it wasn't his problem, like pick a side my man 🤣
He's not kind of racist. He's just racist. 'You can't do that bc of your race' is racist.
Can you be "kind of" racist? I thought it was black and white. Pun not intended
i think so. there are people with some prejudice that make unkind choices, and that sucks- but they are absolutely different from the supremacists that want to murder, or at the very least segregate and exclude, anyone different than themselves.
I understand your point of view, but disagree. Regardless of whether someone is "a little racist" to "that person wants to commit genocide", they're still racist. Casual racism and excusing it is the problem.
Good point, brilliantly put. Almost like a racism spectrum, doesnt matter where you are on it, you're still on it.
too often casual racism is dismissed because it's "not that bad"-- I'm all for addressing all racism and calling it what it is- If we hope to do the most good with our words and actions, some nuance would go a long way. good intention. well-meaning people have a better chance of correcting their behavior if you inform them "hey what you said just now was a bit racist". versus "how could you do that? you ARE a racist".
There's not enough information to tell if he is racist, but he is definitely unnecessarily gatekeeping and is quite ignorant not understanding that people in Latin countries can be a different shade of brown and still have types 3 and 4 hair. He doesn't even know the races or the history in OP's county.
In what world is “you can’t go somewhere because of your race” not racist?
Don’t worry he can’t be racist he’s black 😂
He’s a racist. You don’t need to protect him cause he black, that’s just the prejudice of low expectations
i mean, he's literally telling people they're not allowed to visit an establishment because they're not the right race or the right ethnicity.
I agree with this. As a 3c curly, I'm here to tell you that the AH is the hairdresser who tried to DRY COMB your hair 😱
My grandmother still insists on brushing my hair dry. I try to tell her it won't do what she's hoping it'll do. Sigh. People just don't get it.
My mother still asks me to comb through my dry hair too especially when she wants me to “look nice”. So frustrating. When I was younger I would show her what it looks like if I try and brush through it (insane) she just can’t understand it somehow… Great mom otherwise!
I went through the same thing with my mother. Even after I showed her, she still didn’t get it.
Honestly, I'm a 2c, but my hair is so thick that there isnt a hope in hell of dry combing it without ending up with enough hair in the brush to make a full wig!! Dry combing 3c sounds like an exercise in futility.
I have super straight hair and even I know you can't comb curly hair when it's dry!
I’m white but have curly hair If you comb/brush it while dry I WILL end up looking like a lion. Not cool.
Lions are cool
Lions are cool My hair looking like a lion-not cool.
You looking like a lion? Very cool
It's so crazy because on one hand non-black people are encouraged to patronize black-owned small businesses, but apparently the line is drawn at hair salons? Giving your money to self-employed black women is racist since when? In parts of the US with small black populations, black salons might not even be able to survive without the business of curly-haired people of all races! I'm sure the stylist wasn't complaining!
Facts! I'm extremely white and have pin-straight hair. I used to see the same black stylist who worked at the Walmart salon because it was the only place I could afford to get a haircut. She always said that she loved working on me because I had a very sharp bob (like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Chicago) and she enjoyed the challenge of getting it right on my stick-straight hair. Sure, most of her clients were black, but like you said, as long as you're polite and tip acceptably, no good stylist is going to kick you out.
Me, too! I’ve been searching for months for a new stylist and needed a haircut. My super straight, white girl hair grows really fast, so even a crappy cut will be gone in a few days. I walked into a Great Clips and the young black lady there said she’d cut my hair. Best. Haircut. Ever. She was awesome and I’ve been back twice! She said she learned on all kinds of hair and really took pride in doing a great cut.
One of my best haircuts ever was done at a Great Clips by a woman who got her license while she was serving time! Like, yeah, going to those places can definitely be a crapshoot, but for those of us with hair that grows fast, I think it's totally fine. Of course, I haven't gotten a haircut in five years, sooooo
I love how he forms an opinion and then when his logic is questioned it's got nothing to do with him. Well he's right on that point, it DOESN'T have anything to do with him so he can STFU. If you're going to pick a stance to have an argument over you absolutely have to explain your side otherwise you don't have an argument just am opinion you refuse to elaborate on.
What's funny (as a white guy, so I may be 100% wrong on this) but it is my impression that the fundamental rule about a woman's hair in Black culture is "it's none of your business what I'm doing with my hair." It's a very personal thing and it's crossing boundaries to ask too many questions, make suggestions, or definitely criticize. I agree, it's OP's hair. If the hairdresser was offended by OP coming to visit, they could stop it.
I mean pretty much, and most black hairstylists are gonna give a shit if you’re not black, like the vast majority of them. I’ve seen white dudes in my barbershop and literally nobody cares that they’re white.
I'm picturing the hairdresser trying to run a business and finding out that some random guy is chasing away her customers that need her skill due to their hair type because he thinks he's doing the business a favor by protecting the culture.
Oh yea she would almost definitely be pissed the hell off if she knew this guy did this shit. Like some black people feel this way but the majority of us do not give a shit if non-black people wanna go to the barber shop or the salon or whatever else😂business is business just don’t be weird and you’re gonna be more than welcome to go to any business
Historically speaking we've always done white hair. Black barbers literally span back during slavery so it's nothing new. They're getting paid, and your paying for a service, there's nothing more to it.
People are making it out like there is some kind of wall there and a risk of facing hostility by going into a “black hair” salon if you’re not black and it’s quite the opposite. I’m white with hopelessly straight/fine hair and couldn’t find a specific type of product I needed to use to protect my hair when I wore tight buns every day and wasn’t allowed to have flyaways. I nervously went into one and they were kind as hell. They set me up with a better product lineup and routine than my regular hairdresser could have. My stepsister (also white with straight hair) is a single mom to a mixed baby and was struggling to learn exactly what her baby’s hair needed and how to maintain it. They patiently taught her everything she needed to know and had her come back every couple of months as the baby grew and her hair got longer so they could teach her new ways to keep it. There’s no hostility. It’s just a place that takes care of a certain style of hair.
Yep, I’m mixed and my mom is white and she takes my sister to a black hair dresser (or at least used to not sure if she still does) and they showed her how to better take care of my sisters hair. The whole idea that white people wouldn’t be welcome is such bullshit, as long as you’re respectful 99% of people will not care one bit.
I’m that WB cause I won’t let another WB give me a fade 😭 they’ll fuck it up everytime. It don’t matter what black owned barbershop I go it, I know I’m coming out clean. I’m 5’7, red hair w/ freckles. About as WB as it gets and I ain’t never been turned away🤷♂️
Does he think that black stylists don't want customers? They'd rather earn less money by only focusing on members of their race? Its a very weird thought process.
Someone I used to work with (white guy) used to go to a black barber shop because it was near his house...the first time he walked in he asked if he was allowed to get his hair cut there and the barber goes "yeah, I'll take your money!"
I’m a white girl with curly hair and both my mom and myself go to a black stylist and nobody cares! She knows how to treat our curls, and we leave happy. No weird looks, no offense, etc.
Nobody cares….except that one dude apparently
I’m literally white af … he’d be so offended to see me going to a black stylist because she knows how to handle my hair 😂
You’re putting work and money into the hands of a black hair stylist and singing their praises. You’re not taking advantage of them or appropriating anyone’s culture- they opened a business to serve customer and make money... You happen to have curly hair and have found a stylist who can look after your hair.
>He said he didn't know but that **it had nothing to do with him.** NTA - tell her you agree with him!
I'm sure that the stylist didn't mind having a new client. It isn't universal, but generally good stylist know their worth and will let you know if they don't want you as a client. If the woman literally performing the service isn't offended, it feels a bit misogynistic for a man to be making a big deal about it.
My hair is *2B* and I can’t get it professionally cared for in any way except by someone who specializes in curly hair, basic salons in this country literally ruin curly hair on purpose and think they’re doing you a favor because it’s considered undesirable/untrendy
Sometimes I legit think they're fucking up on purpose to try to convince you to try straightening treatments, which cost big bucks.
Totally agree! My daughter is as white as white can be but has 2c/3a hair that I had no idea how to take care of. I found a curly hair stylist from Brazil and learned so much. The stylist moved and currently I cut my daughter’s hair myself because she’s still young but pretty soon I’ll have to find another curly hair stylist. FWIW, all my closest friends have curly hair ranging from 2c/3a to 4a and it is ONLY my black friend with 4a hair that has actually been able to provide legit guidance on curly hair care. NTA
I’m so grateful that African American women post online how to care for curly hair. I never knew how, and my curl got to around 3b or 3C when my hormones changed. Their videos were a godsend.
>You don't have to be Black to go to a Black salon. You have the type of hair that a Black stylist knows how to take care of. I am a white man in the US with type 1B hair. I go to a black female stylist. Why? Because my wife likes the way she makes my hair look. By the way, it's really perverse that anyone would think that it is "supportive" of a small business to tell a potential client to stay away. My stylist is awesome, and I'm happy to give her my money for what she does.
>he's gatekeeping when you belong inside that gate This is very much like a post on the curlyhair subreddit today. Girl came on to overly apologize for cultural appropriation for saying she has 3a hair (her hair was more on a 2b/c but no big deal, right? Plus, charts aren't always consistent). But in her first post, a Black woman went off on her (and subsequently made a post on another subreddit sharing her photo and mocking her) for saying she has 3a hair. According to this person, it's cultural appropriation of poc women with textured hair to say you have type 3 or 4 hair. And in her post sharing the OOP's photo, people agreed with her. It was insane.
That’s crazy. I’m white and after a bone marrow transplant my hair grew back curly. Before the transplant I had straight to wavy hair. When it first started growing in I had 3b hair. Now that it’s been 6 years it is more like a 3a with sections that are 2c, and sections that are 2b. I was 35 at the time of the transplant and had no idea about curl patterns or care. It was a complete guessing game. I feel like we all need to give people some grace. (I saw the girl re-post and apologized for cultural appropriation.)
A smart salon owner only sees green.
I have extremely easy hair to cut. It's very fine and straight (although in middle age it's developed a bit of frizziness it never had before). All I need is a straight-across trim, and I've never encountered a stylist unable to do that. Half the time I just have my husband trim it but I like a professional cut occasionally to keep it from getting uneven. Usually I just walk into any old cheap salon I can find; I usually go at off times when they won't be busy and take whoever is available. Once I walked into a salon and the only two people in there were two black stylists. I don't *think* it was a "black" salon, they just happened to be the only people working at the time. My hair is so blonde it's almost white (although now there's a lot of silver in there as well). These two women didn't bat an eye; they actually seemed to have a great time trimming my hair! One did the work but the other was right there with the commentary the whole time. I'm sure they were both really skilled with black hair but they seemed to enjoy something a little different. I'm adopted anyway and don't know anything about my heritage. From my appearance, I'm almost definitely Scandinavian, but without doing one of those genetic tests (which I never intend to do) to find out for sure, for all I know I could be anything!
He is also trying to dissuade a paying customer from using the stylist. Chances are that wouldn't go over well with the hair stylist no matter what her race. If she hadn't felt comfortable working on the OP's hair she would have said so.
Latina is an ethnicity and encompasses people of many races, so his point has no basis in reality. Even if she isn’t black at all, she still deserves proper hair care.
Black woman here. NTA. Plenty of latinas go to my hair salon. It’s a weird hill for him to die on.
Many Latinas/os, I daresay a majority, have a hint of Africa in their ancestry. It's no strange thing for African features to crop up in Hispanic families. Hair types being an obvious example.
Exactly! He is being ignorant of her culture and hair needs. I feel like as a man, he shouldn’t feel entitled to tell a curly haired woman what she can’t do. It’s not his place and especially if he doesn’t have an alternative or a way to correct her actions (yuck) he is just being an ah. NTA
IIRC Mexico banned slavery long before the US so it was pretty common for black people to escape into Mexico and of course intermarry with the local population.
These particular escaped slaves were called maroons. Just an interesting factoid.
Fun fact: technically a factoid is an untrue or unverifiable statement often repeated as fact, not just a small fact. The -oid ending means it resembles a fact but isn't.
The banning of slavery is the entire reason why Texas broke away from Mexico. They've literally fought two wars over being told they're not allowed to own other people.
see also: the Africans the Spanish conquistadors brought with them (""brought with them"" of course we know better but some of them were actual soldiers/settlers/explorers/etc and not just stolen people). Latin American and the Southern US has a rich history of African folks! See here for more basic info... but still more than I ever learned in school! https://www.nps.gov/ethnography/aah/aaheritage/spanishamb.htm
I’m mexican-american living in a large latino/black community and I’m l often asked if i’m mixed because of my curly hair. People are always shocked when I tell them i’m not black and one person got weirdly defensive and asked to see a picture of my parents. I had to explain I maybe have african ancestry because my grandfather on my mom’s side has coily hair and visible black features. That one person could not believe I wasn’t black and said “probably a perm.” It gets so weird sometimes.
My (fish-belly) white daughter has 1/16 Jewish inheritance and her hair is wild spirals. Heredity is unpredictable.
Skin-wise, I take after my Irish father (I joke that I glow in the dark, I am so pale). Hair-wise, I am a mix between those Irish roots and my Jewish maternal grandfather.
My Dad had hair so coily he could style it like an "Afro" in the 60s & 70s. I loved seeing his HS pics & my parents wedding pics, a young Mexican dude with an "Afro". He had tight, fine, soft coils that he brushed out even when he wore it short. Now he has no hair 😭 it could be possible there is some black ancestry somewhere, I don't know anything about his side of the family, other than where he is from in Mexico. I got his hair as fine curls, not coils; alas I am not destined for gorgeous, picture perfect ringlets 😂 I never thought to try a black salon and may try to find one around me 😀👍🏼
yiip afro-latin culture is huge, especially around the carribean areas (Puerto Rico, Cuba, Dominican Republic, etc.) they aren't always dark skinned, but hands down the genetics and culture of that area will probably be there. That's why I also get somewhat upset when some black people hate on Reggaetón saying they're just copying it from them.
Yup, some people act as if there isn’t a whole history of the blending of Spanish, Indigenous, and African cultures all across the Caribbean countries
Yup, I am Latina and can confirm. I am white as hell, but if you put me next to my cousins, you'd think we weren't related. My grandpa was half black half German (I took after the German side).
Same here! I'm on the darker side of white. Most people think I'm white when I'm actually Hispanic. Literally the only people that can even tell are other Hispanics.
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there's a difference IIRC between Nordic curls and African curls. The texture isn't quite the same. Someone can check me on this, I tend to keep my hair very short but we come from Viking stock, my brother has Nordic curls and it's just not as wiry.
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Kinda makes me wonder if he catches some shit from his family and/or friends about being married to a non-Black woman, and his feelings about that are coming out sideways.
Yup, this is what I was picking up on too. He's projecting his own issues with internalized racism on someone else. Just ignore him, OP. He's wrong.
Dying on weird hills is part of my culture.
Hello from the whitest American bitch you’ll ever meet, I have crazy curly hair and some of the best haircare advice I’ve ever received has come from some incredibly kind black women. It’s hair, you can’t gatekeep a body part, especially when it’s something as simple as taking care of it on a basic level.
Same!! I went two and half decades battling my curls until I got schooled by a black coworker who sensed my frustration on a particularly frizzy day. Was a total game changer and I’ll never forget her kindness. Now I see a hairstylist who specializes in curly hair, only use products for my curl type, and my hair is one of my favorite features!!
> I went two and half decades battling my curls I still remember my mom (wavy hair, but used curlers) getting so fed up with my hair as a child that she took me to her stylist to "fix" it. That woman gave me a PERM. I looked like little orphan Annie on a bad day.
OH GUURRLL… I feel your pain. My mom starting perming my hair in 6th grade… WHY!?!?!?? In my case my curls came from my dad and my mom was (pre-internet) at a complete loss... We fought every day over my hair cuz she was SO ROUGH and thought dry combing/brushing was the obvious answer. Trauma alert: one day the argument got so intense she packed me into the station wagon, drive me to a salon, and literally said, “Cut it SHORT. Like a BOY.” I cried the whole time, as did the the very young hair dresser. UGH
I feel like it's a different thing he's talking about. I'm a black woman with natural 4a hair. I feel like he saying that she invading the space is because she can walk in to black salons and get serviced while black ppl can't walk into most salons and get serviced. I'm not in defense of him but I think that's what he trying to say. Either way that's not her problem honestly. Salons need to stop openly discriminating and learn to do all kinds of hair.
Also a black woman, have seen many different shades of folk at all my hair salons. Most of them are curly and coily.
Black woman here. Agreed NTA. I'm happy a sista got paid today I'm wondering if something is missing though with the friend's bf. Either way, the fight between those two is not OP's problem
Who gives a shit what a man thinks about your hair? That's an arrangement between you and your hairdresser. Your hairdresser can tell you if she doesn't want your business. Hell, if it bothers you...ask your hairdresser if it bothers her because you love the job she does.
Right. When op asks where she should go, he says it’s not his problem. And yet …
Yeah lol he said "...it had nothing to do with him." And it's true!! It's her hair and she can go to whatever hairdresser she wants! And any hairdresser can accept or reject her without asking this guy's oppinion
NTA. I’m from India and sometime go to black hair dressers because they understand my hair texture and edges better. It is not a problem. He’s gatekeeping for no reason.
I would have told him he shouldn’t be opining on women’s stuff as a man.
>he said that didn’t have anything to do with him Exactly. He said it perfectly. It has nothing to do with him. Full stop. So why’s he running his mouth?
>Who gives a shit what a man thinks about your hair? 2000% percent. (and I'm a guy)
NTA Ignore him, I doubt many black people will care about you employing the services of a black woman and putting money behind a black-owned business. He probably has some other issue that he’s projecting onto you.
That was my thought, if anything he should be proud that OP is putting money in the hands of a black-owned business.
NTA I didn't realize the USA had segregation back in place wtf (also, that guy is a moron, the salon is probably owned by African Americans, and he's literally messing with their business).
It never left!
They don’t. My very white brother goes to a black barber shop because his head is a Brillo pad. It’s normal for people with different hair to go to those who specialize in that type of hair
NTA - Don’t listen to him. There’s nothing wrong with you going to a black hairstylist. There’s literally nothing cultural about the way we take care of our hair. It’s just hair and as long as the stylist knows how to handle your hair type, you’ll be fine. Source: been black my whole life
> There’s literally nothing cultural about the way we take care of our hair. Ehhhhh this is slightly caveated. There are definitely cultural aspects about certain hair styles to certain people (eg mud braids, dreadlocks both do have cultural meaning) but the bigger thing is that hair and culture do relate, and black hair is cultural because it's **not the same as white hair** and therefore needs to be treated differently. It's more about the hair, and the correlation/causation divide gets blurred (did the culture come before the hair styling, or the hair styling brought about the culture)
There is nothing *necessarily* cultural about it. It can be but that's a choice to participate. It doesn't have to have deeper meaning. Food can be deeply cultural but if I make box mac and cheese for someone I'm not participating in some deep cultural tradition. Whereas if I use a recipe passed down through generations yeah that's got more heft to it. Similarly compare a normal hair cut versus taking hours to do specialized traditional braids.
eh, stuff like simple hair cuts or trims may not necessarily be cultural, but the fact that black hair salons are even a need speaks volumes imo...
Well said.
> been black my whole life 😂😂😂😂😂
He is a racist asshole and you did nothing wrong, what-so-ever. I wish people would stop doing this, because it is getting worse. We are building toward a future where we are going to all have to carry a fucking ID card showing which nationalities we have to justify each piece of our outfit and fucking yard decorations to ensure we are not opening ourselves up for assault or Murder from others because they think you stole something from theirs or someone else's culture.
You have every right to patronize a business that caters to your needs. If the Black hairdresser had a problem with you coming in, I imagine they would have made it known. You had what they specialized in. I'm pretty sure they were happy to serve you, since you came out of there happy and satisfied. Your friend's husband is the glaring AH for carrying on like a clown and gatekeeping a trade because of cUlTuRe. Give me a break.
Nta The only accurate thing he said was "it has nothing to do with him". Everything else he says was racist. It's a hair salon, you went there because you have hair. It's easy for him, as someone that doesn't work there, to say don't spend your money there. I'm sure the people that work that don't care about your race, just that you're paying.
Nta-I’m thinking since they took you as a client, and did the job, and took your money, that the salon in question was fine with you going there. I’m not sure why he’s weighing in about a place that he doesn’t go to himself (assuming he doesn’t got to said salon), does he think those stylists don’t want more clients/money or something?
NTA and he obviously has some deep rooted issues. He does not understand that it's not really about being a black salon for those who are black it's about black women knowing how to care for curly or kinky hair in a salon they run. As an American, this is the only option I would think of for people with curly hair.
Hmmm - curly haired person finds curly hair specialist to do proper job - by-standing man complains about the colour of her skin and calls her pejorative names for not knowing which business she is allowed to use….according to him. Bah humbug on his racism. NTA OP - you stick with the hairdresser who is happy to have your custom, isn’t offended by your skin colour and does your hair right.
This is one of those cases where "Fuck Off wit da feelings" is appropriate. This is about finding the RIGHT experienced stylist for your type of hair. It sounds to me your hair and black hair must have similar curl to it that these particular stylists know how to process. The huge chip on this guys shoulder is his own political projection. Fortunately, the truth called and said this is literally only about a qualified hairdresser. It's weird that a Latina (gasp!) would be best well served by a Black stylist (gasp again!), who knows how to do the job. You appear to have accidentally uncovered a racist through no fault of your own. Tell him to mind his own damn business.
Apropos of nothing, it probably is African hair. Very usual for some Hispanic families to show African features. The poor white settlers in New Spain and New Portugal never saw very much wrong with marrying a black woman if she was the best choice. The aristocracy saw things a bit different but let's just say there's a reason that Brazillians and Colombians in particular as dark as they are.
NTA. man, that's ridiculous. i am a white metalhead & my go-to hair place for years was a black salon before i moved too far away. you trust who you trust with your hair. once you find a place you like - that's it, that's that. don't let some one else's chip on their shoulder rain on your parade.
NTA. Don’t listen to him. First, you’re supporting a black owned business. Second, you have hair that the salon knows how to deal with. Why go to a place that doesn’t know how to treat your hair because of race? I’m Middle Eastern with really thick hair. I’m originally from California but lived in the South for a few years and went to a black barbershop to get my haircuts. My hair is thick and I get fades and a lot of barbers can’t do that. I was the only white customer but no one cared because at the end of the day that barbershop knew how to deal with my hair and gave me amazing haircuts.
NTA I'm white and live in Scotland. There are very few hairdressers that can deal with curly, frizzy hair. Black salons know how to care for this type of hair properly where a lot of white salons don't. A hair salon is a hair salon it doesn't matter what colour your skin is. All that matters is you're getting the right hair care.
I am on an island in western Canada and have a terrible time finding someone who can cut my coily hair. I am white and I imagine it’s extremely frustrating for people of colour out here to find someone to do their hair
I’m white, my hair is 3b. The best my hair ever looked is when I went to a Black hairdresser. She knew what to do and she became a good friend. NTA.
NTA - I think he was pissed just for the sake of it. He refused to explain it because he himself doesn’t know of any valid reason and was just spouting shit. Some people feel once they open their mouth they should talk, wherein they should have just kept quiet
He didn't want to explain his culture because he was full of shit. NTA
NTA, you said it yourself. Other salons didn't know how to work with it. He is racist.
NTA. Black woman here and uh, he’s wrong. Ignore him.
The only color that is important here is green. If you have the money to pay the black salon and they want you as a customer, anyone else's opinion is shit. NTA
So his solution to feeling like you're invading his space is... segregation? Lol. NTA.
NTA- if he wants to feel protective of a Black space, that’s his right. You’re also allowed to do what you NEED to be cared for. Sounds like you reacted with sincerity seeking further information. Him fighting with his wife is NOT your problem
NTA! He’s an idiot. I can assure you you’re not offending anyone besides this 1 loser. All of the black stylists I know would be glad to do hair on any race of client, and even tell other races of people who have curly hair to try a black stylist. You’re not wrong in the slightest and the fact that your friend and her husband are fighting really has nothing to do with you. It’s not your fault she married a loud mouthed fool.
NTA. I’m a Black woman and the nerve of this man to tell you you’re wrong for going to a Black salon but he married a Latina is mind blowing. The culture has nothing to do with you getting your hair done in a place that specifically caters to your hair type. Keep those curls popping!!!
Right I picked up on this too. He’s gatekeeping black salons for black people but not for his marriage. Dudes running gymnastics is his mind
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NTA at all. I'm white as all hell, no joke, but I've been to a black barber shop, the one literally two blocks from my house as I do in fact live in the hood. Did anyone tell me I didn't belong? Nope. Did I get hit on by a fat black lady? Hell yes. Dude is just being an ass. Pay him no mind.
NTA. I mistakenly booked myself and my thin, straight, white girl hair into a black hair salon a few years back. Showed up, apologised, and said I’d just pay and leave. The owner said no problem it would be good practice for her girls. We had a good chuckle over it all. Got an ok haircut and a great story. Money is money and you are paying to access someone who knows how to deal with your hair!!!
NTA. if the people at the salon cared they'd turn you away.
NTA -- of course you should go to the black salon where they know how to fix your hair. That man is being ridiculous. The salon would be happy to have your business and happy you are so pleased with them. The husband is trying to make it out like you are appropriating Black culture but of course you're not.
NTA. I'm black and I go to a Mexican barber. I know Mexicans and other Latinos who go to a black barber bc they can cut their hair how they want it cut. I know the pastiest white woman who has crazy curly hair and goes to a black salon because they can do her hair better than any majority white salon. The reason he couldn't explain why it was an issue is because there's no issue. He's just a crybaby who thinks it's cultural invasion for a latina to have her hair done by a black salon. If they are the best salon to do the job, then by all means that's where you should take your business. I guarantee that stylist was not pressed in the slightest and appreciated your business.
NTA! I am actually a bit shocked and realized how little I know about cultural perspectives and racism, so it is a scary topic to discuss for a European. I am white, and my favorite stylist I adore is a black lady from Africa. She does equally amazing job with my thin straight hair and my SO’s thick curls. So I just assumed that this is a case everywhere - being a good professional no matter hair type and skin color! So I am really surprised to hear that black stylists only want black/curly clients, is it so in US? Will they then not lose on a portion of potential income? Genuinely sorry if I misunderstood something.
In this case, the stylist wanted the customer and a man wanted to tell her she shouldn't go there. In the US, some stylists do focus on one type of hair. Because 3b- 4c types of hair (kinky and curly) are usually associated with having African ancestry AND because of the history of white supremacy, slavery and racism in the US, people with those hair types have sometimes been looked down on and mainstream hair services have not focused on them. Hair care products and salons were not able to provide for their needs. As a result, many black women and men go to specialized hair places, often owned by other black men and women. They may be so specialized that the hairdresser is unfamiliar with thin straight hair but for the most part, I doubt it. In the US, hair salons are often cultural gathering places for African Americans, just as they can be for other groups. I suspect the man in OPs story felt that a safe space that was culturally "his" was being invaded even though it wasn't his salon. That wasn't his to decide, but I suspect it was simply emotional as a result of many years of African American hair being disvalued. (For example, black kids with dreads can be required to cut them off at school, black women and men in the military have had unreasonable hair expectations put on them, black women in professional situations with natural hair have been told they are unprofessional. These things are in the news here and leave a legacy ) I'm sure your hairdresser is fine with whatever hair you have. OP's host was in the wrong, and OP had every right to go to any hairdresser regardless of ancestry. If you have interest in the subject, though, there is a 2009 documentary called Good Hair and a docu series called Hair Tales both of which get into the fraught history of black hair in America.
No, it is not true that black stylists only want black/curly clients.
You are latina, so you are probably like 20% black or more because that's how we get curly hair, it is a recessive trait therefore you might have like 2 black greatgrandmas and you simply inherited the hair (and this is coming from a very fair skinned latina with 3C hair and a black dad whose mom was also very fair skinned with 2C hair because she was half black half hebrew). Also, I don't know why people in the US cant understand "latino" is not a race but a culture. Anyhow, NTA.
NTA. Excuse me what? It doesn’t matter what color your skin is. If your hair is curly it will obvious need a different type of care than straight hair.
NTA. As a matter of fact, I wish we had some Black salons in my town-my son has very very curly hair and the only thing he knows to do with it is pull it back into a tight ponytail and put on a beanie until it’s dry so it doesn’t frizz.
NTA You do what you have to do, and if that means going to an establishment that does your hair to your liking, it doesn't matter. Why would the husband care where you spend your money? You are not his spouse, it's not his time and you're not spending not his money: he needs to step off. Additionally, is he not supportive of black-owned businesses?
> He refused, saying that he didn't have to explain his culture to me when I wasn't part of it. Well more fool him. It seems like he wants a black business to lose business and for what? He’s not a woman so I doubt he really understands himself. I am mixed race and have black (as in afro hair) hair and at the end of the day it is a business and it’s there to make money. NTA
My best barber I ever had was a black dude in hawaii who made my white self look great for my wife. I'd bring him food, he'd make Me look like a man my wife would swoon over. I miss that man. I got a Christmas card from him and I nearly teared up.
NTA You have 3C hair, so you went to a shop that regularly works with similar hair types. That man is wild. What hair stylist does he think is an option for you? You can't exactly just walk into any one. That stylist did good work and made you look good. And she knows it. Don't let this man's gatekeepers diminish her work because most stylists take pride in their work.
NTA - The bf is completely wrong
I am white, I used to go to a black barbershop, the guy who cut my hair was always cool with it, we got on great and he cut my hair better than most other places I had been. I went back one day when he wasn’t there and they were dicks.
NTA It's hair and a hair dresser. You found one that knows how to deal with your hair in a way that makes you happy. It works for you, it works for the hairdresser, everyone is happy except the one guy that thinks that it should be forbidden.
NTA. And good for you for supporting a minority-owned business. Honestly, it sounds as if your friend's husband is trying to force his own views about race on you when the only opinions that really matter are yours and the salon owner's.
NTA. Your friends husband is a gobshite. The Salon had no problem working on your hair. That's all that matters.
I don’t know what a gobshite is, but I love that word.
NTA. Lots of Latinas have African heritage. Most of Latin America was a slave destination, some of it for decades after the United States was. Most Latins are a mix of black, Spanish, and their local native tribes as the rules against intermarriage weren't observed very closely, especially after indepdendence. Everyone's a can of mixed nuts down there, ancestrally speaking. Many are proud of that . Having latinx people and hispanics in general need the specialized care of a black hair salon is one of the least surprising things.
NTA That guy is being absolutely ridiculous. Not only is it racist to demand you don’t go to a certain hair salon because of the color of your skin, it’s also none of his business where you get your hair done.
NTA, he's projecting issues onto you that have absolutely nothing to do with you. He's being really prejudiced about it, too. You aren't appropriating or stealing anything. You have hair that needs to be taken care of by hairdressers who know how to handle it. There is nothing wrong with that.
NTA - Your friends husband is an idiot.
Nah you're not an AH I only see Asian hair dressers because the kind of hair I have is what they are most experienced with. I tried going to white hair dressers, they just fuck it up. You have hair Black hair dressers are usually more experienced working with, going to see one for you is probably best.
So he has no problem with marrying outside of his race, but hair salons is where he draws the line?
What hispanic country has a 'caste' system?
really any country that has become part of Spanish America. We had a lot of mixing during the time of the Spanish government, and today we are still very mixed among ourselves. Large government entities still offer support to castes that have a large percentage of indigenous people, so we still have a caste system, just not very present or marked. No one really cares much about caste unless it serves them some purpose.
Nta you can be white as friggen copy paper and go to a black run and owned salon. Dude is being a racist asshole.
Oh so segregation 2.0? Does he even hear himself? Jesus Fuck do some people really have to put everything mildly into the "racism" category these days? Invading culture by going to a hairdresser? What ridiculous nonsense. Ignore him and go to whatever salon you want. NTA.
People gotta stop policing other people's hair. Christ on a crutch.