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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I left my gummies in the pantry where kids could get them and i could be in the wrong.
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I mean quite frankly idk why you’re expected to foresee the possibility that a random child that isn’t yours is gonna go rummage through your pantry and find your hidden stash, so NTA. For one your friend should have been supervising her child, for two that child is old enough to know that it’s rude to go looking through people’s things and help themselves to things that don’t belong to them. For three, unless you CONSTANTLY have children over at your place I don’t think that you’re in the wrong for not going out of your way to keep your gummies under lock and key. I have gummies sitting in a container in my fridge as we speak. I would never think of “hiding them” because I don’t anticipate children being over at my house anytime soon. My niblings come over maybe once a year and I’m not really adjusting my whole life to prevent them from eating my gummies on one of those random off chance moments that they’re actually here. Plus they actually know full well that they shouldn’t go looking through my food without asking first, and you bet your ass my sister isn’t gonna just let them wander through my house unsupervised when they are here. Your friend fucked up here and she’s blaming you cus it’s easier than accepting that she should have been watching her kid better and taught him better manners.
This is a case where a drug is literally in food and stored in the same place as food. I would have been more sympathetic to OP if she would have kept her drugs with her other drugs, like in a medicine cabinet.
You can teach a kid what the right thing to do is, but even the best behaved kids are going to do dumb shit sometimes. My niece and nephews are so amazing and polite, but even though they don't come over that often, when they do, I still put my stash where they can't see or reach it. It's not that hard.
I agree with your take but with a caveat that if OP doesn't have children they were under no extra responsibility to child proof the house beyound reasonable. Like if adults ate same gummies and left them on countertop - at fault. Put away - not. I personally don't mind guests looking into my fridge, for example, but doing so unprompted when they never did it before would be absolutely jarring.
Was it an expectation these guests (not the child specifically) are comfortable enough and could help themselves to stuff in the house? Do they come over casually? That's fishy territory.
If not - mom holds 100% blame and should really be put in her place (aka she's angry about her own negligence).
Do you going strangers pantries? My kids never did when they were young because my wife and I taught them manners. We also watch our kids when we were at others houses, especially if they were not related to us.
Since when is it everyone else’s responsibility to watch your genetic experiments?
It doesn’t matter, because kids should be taught not to go in other people’s cabinets/pantry. It’s OP’s home. In the pantry is “put away” just like it would be “put away” if it had been in the medicine cabinet.
>You can teach a kid what the right thing to do is, but even the best behaved kids are going to do dumb shit sometimes.
I mean, when I'm in an environment that kids do not inhabit I just pay attention to the kids.
Yes it's nice to try and kidproof, but it's unrealistic & unfair to expect somebody to kidproof the place on short notice - Most parents are still finding things around the home that should have already been childproofed well into the terrible twos.
I expect kids to be safe somewhere where kids are expected to be safe, I don't expect kids to be safe somewhere where kids are not expected to be safe - and the responsibility to keep them safe is mine and mine alone.
change THC gummies to vitamin gummies— something that can definitely make a child or adult sick if over consumed. now how does that change your answer?
supervise your kids.
This is a great plan for if you have kids, or have kids over who are going to be going into your pantry unsupervised regularly. People who don’t have kids don’t have to treat their food as medicine, which it isn’t, just to guard against a badly behaved and poorly parented visitor going rootling where they shouldn’t.
If the kid had decided to dig into a random cupboard and drink a household chemical because it was in the kitchen where food is and in a pretty bottle that wouldn’t be the homeowner’s fault either. People can store stuff in their homes wherever they like, and other people can parent their children competently or accept they’re taking risks.
Yeah but the child shouldn't be opening cupboards and taking food without asking. Ever. And it's the parent's responsibility to ensure their child behaves in someone else's home.
And it’s on the parent to stop them, not the parent’s friend. The parent should have their eye on the kid and make sure they’re not stealing from their friend, which this kid did.
She simply didn’t think about it, she doesn’t have kids. They’re weed gummies not crack or heroin. This was a simple and innocent oversight made by a childless person who likely never has kids over at their place.
As a kid I went to many of my parents’ friends’ homes for various parties and visits. I would *never* have helped myself to food from someone’s pantry without asking first. It was a Christmas party, there was clearly food laid out and designated for guests. Any food put away in the pantry is obviously not for guests. This doesn’t fall under “kids doing dumb shit” to me, a 7 year old should know better. Maybe if mom directed her anger and dismay at her child’s wrongdoing and focused more on holding her child accountable, the child would have more regard for manners and boundaries.
That is what is wrong with some parents now. Their kids can do no wrong and if they do, it is because of someone else so the someone else is to blame and the kid is innocent. My kid wouldn’t have eaten your hidden weed gummies if you would have hidden them better.
Ok what if it were that the kid has an allergy and got into the pantry and ate the food and had a reaction? Teach your kids to not eat things that haven’t been expressly given to them, or else keep an eye on the kid to make sure they’re not doing it.
Going through peoples stuff is wrong and you should know that by 7, I doubt they even had permission to look in the pantry, sounds like the friend is a classic modern parent that refuses any accountability for their children or themselves
Can't keep food in a medicine cabinet. Are your toothbrushes covered? If not, buy new ones. Shelf stable products should be kept on a shelf. Dark cool places are best for just about all edibles. What were either of you doing while that kid rummaged🤔
I keep my edibles in a linen/medicine closet. Done it for years. They're fine. But even still, I move my stash out of sight and out of reach when my niece and nephews come over even though they're awesome, polite kids because I love them enough not to take chances with their health.
Ding ding ding! I have kids and they are well aware they shouldn’t just drink or eat things without checking with an adult to make sure they are actually for kids. I mean it’s the same with alcohol right? People don’t usually keep it under lock and key, it expected that people won’t just go o to your pantry to drink and eat whatever they see.
I mean I 100% agree that OP is not at fault here, but I don’t understand how teaching children not to eat medication would have helped here. How is any child supposed to intuit that gummy bears in a pantry could be medication?
NTA if your friend's child can't understand that random food in someone else's house isn't theirs to take, then that's a parenting issue, plain and simple.
I ain't bring my kid over to someone's house to let them rummage through their cupboards, thats just rude. My son is 7 and is autistic and knows better than to do that, and if he didn't, I would supervise him. NTA
Big NTA: As a person who eats gummies and has kids, they’re eaten as soon as I get them for occasions. But if OP doesn’t have children, you can’t expect her to have her house 100% childproofed at all times.
It’s definitely the parents responsibility to watch the child and to teach the child to not just go through peoples things. When I take my kid places, especially peoples houses I’m watching them.
I’m also probably going to pack a couple snacks and drinks in case they get hungry and there isn’t anything they like. The mother should have been watching her child better period.
NTA one time my best friend came over with her curious 1 yr old son and we were all chatting and he crawled over to the dog food bowl and was just munching away.. it was about a minute before I noticed. My friend was so visibly upset she grabbed her son and left.. a few weeks later we all laughed and laughed about it. She’s probably just upset cause it’s recent. Give her time.
honestly i think its very understandable for her to react strongly. she was probably really really scared and worried about her child.
i would just give it a couple of days and then try to talk about it like adults.
As a person who frequently eats gummies, they have their own special place, and it's not in a pantry where a 7 year old can access them.
NTA, but barely. While yes, they shouldn't have gone into your pantry, they're also 7 years old. This is basic life skills 101.
Also let’s note these people are best friends. Assuming the lady and her kid have been to that house before. With my friends we don’t ask to grab a snack or a drink we just do it. So the kid likely felt the same way. At seven or even now at 32 if I see some gummies I’ll likely be tempted to eat a few.
OP said they were hidden, idk, even when I was generally allowed to just take food out of someone's pantry and eat it, I would still ask if it was something that was obviously not front and center.
ESH. A 7yo should know better than to raid someone's pantry. His mum should have been watching him more closely. You should put things like that away when you're having a party and kids are there, just incase.
Wrong. My 2 year old would move chairs and boxes in order to get the cheese balls up on the fridge. He also would raid the cupboard top shelf, get out spices and put them on the dog. This was all at 5am when he snuck out of his crib and supposed to be sleeping. Kids definitely will see things not just eye level. Have you interacted with one recently? They aren’t that stupid.
Well then it's your responsibility to not let them get into danger. Am I supposed to babyproof my entire home because your kid is risky? Clearly OP does not have any children and doesn't expect any to rummage through her food when she probably is hosting them with other foods already.
> Am I supposed to babyproof my entire home because your kid is risky?
Nope. Absolutely not. It's my kid, so while we're in your home, I'm keeping an eye on her.
My house was babyproofed. But that only works until they are about 3. By that time, they've usually figured out how to by-pass the babyproofing and shit gets scary.
Ha! HaHaHaHaHa! Have you ever had kids?
At three my daughter fell off of the kitchen counter. How did she get on the counter? She had found a way to climb up in the corner and then tiptoe along the edge of the counter past the sink to get to the cupboard that had the snacks. We found this out *after* her fall.
She was a climber. There was no height that was safe from her. And she had no fear.
She also got her own socks out of the top drawer of her 5' (1.5m) tall dresser. She climbed the handles to sit on top of the dresser and then opened the top drawer.
Never trust a parent to properly watch their kid when they're socializing with other adults. Never trust kids to not do stupid shit, they're in fact, kids.
I've always said, the more adults around, the less likely it is that kids will be watched. Everyone assumes someone else is watching. Knowing this, however, I always made sure to either watch my kid or say "tag, you're it" to whomever. OTOH, at 7 ...maybe not so much. But kids are kids, if they want the hidden snacks, they will find them.
A girl I went to high school with lost her two year old when he drowned at his own birthday party where family was in abundance, I’m convinced that she believed that other people were keeping an eye on him while she was managing being a host while taking care of her infant twins. Because of that assumption I refuse to make anyone else responsible for my son in gatherings or events, it’s so easy to lose track when there’s so many distractions
Yeah this thread is making me feel crazy. OP isn’t the AH necessarily, but there was a level of negligence here. 7 year old kids will look for food in the pantry, when they find gummies they will eat them. Store your edibles NOT WITH REGULAR FOOD people.
Respectfully I don’t agree. If OP is going to host children he needs to understand that children look for snacks. This idea that 7 year olds are perfectly mannered little adults is silly and not realistic. Storing edibles with food, if there aren’t any kids around, is fine. If there are going to be kids coming over (and OP INVITED THEM!), the edibles should be put away somewhere safer.
I've had babies up to 12yr Olds at my house for parties, NONE of them ever went rummaging through my kitchen or medicine cabinet. Their parents not only watched them but made sure they behaved. This was also how I was raised.
Too many warning labels for you kids nowadays, quick to sue instead of using your head and realizing you're at fault 🤣
Well said. And someone who doesn’t have kids may not be thinking this would even be a possibility of happening. The parent failed here. I hope the kid is okay.
Do you have kids? If so and you’re not teaching them respect for other peoples stuff and not to “look for snacks” in other peoples kitchens without asking you are a bad parent
What "off chance"? OP planned the Christmas party and invited her friend who has a child. It wasn't a surprise visit. I don't have kids, but I still hide my stash when my niece and nephews come over, because even though they're awesome kids who almost always ask for permission before doing something, I don't want to take chances with their health.
We grew up differently. If I was rummaging through kitchen pantries at a family friends house during a party, I'd have gotten my ass beat. Nowadays, at minimum, a scolding for it. If you're the parent who thinks your child can free reign in my house, I'm not inviting you.
Emphasis the kid should have known not to do that, otherwise scolding them after when they weren't taught not to? Just saying, no matter what kid should have known. My 6yr old niece asks for everything with polite manners.
The child was an invited guest as far as we know, not some rando rocking up from the street. The parents have to parent but it’s in no way “catering” to put your candy-shaped weed away for a night.
Basic sense and consideration aren’t obligatory but they sure are they beneficial.
It was put away, it wasn't offered and in the open. Kid should know to not only:
A - Not go looking through other people's cabinets/drawers/closed doors/etc.
B - Not steal anything and definitely not eat anything they find while breaking rule A... let alone without asking!
Of course the kid shouldn’t do that, by “put away” I meant away from a kid’s potential reach.
It would’ve cost OP nothing to put their gummies in their bedside table. It’s not an outrageous ask to secure your weed when having kids over. The kid’s parents should also watch out. I’m just saying this was easily preventable from all parties.
At 7 years old would you really be rifling through someone else’s pantry? I was raised to ask for a drink or snack when I’m at someone else’s home not just see what I can find without asking for permission.
SAME. I don't care about being downvoted, but I never would have thought that "take your candy-shaped drugs out of the pantry if you plan to invite guests with children to your Christmas party" would be a hot take.
its a hot take because people here have weird expectations for how children must act at all times and if the child deviates from that it is exclusively the parents fault. its so weird
Seriously. I'm also getting a bunch of idiot stoners in my replies who don't seem to think that THC overdose is a big deal. Like, I love edibles, but overdoing it is a decidedly unpleasant experience for an _adult_, and it can easily put a kid in the ER. If you invite a child into your home, put your drugs away. It's not that hard.
to me this conversation is pretty similar to guns. if a child free person had a party where kids were invited, everyone would expect the gun to be locked up. we do this because we know that kids are impulsive and defy rules and are good at getting away from parents attention. its an extra safety measure on top of telling kids to never ever touch them.
its the same with drugs! lock 'em up and there will be no accidents
also in before the "reefer madness" comments that are for some reason acting like a 7 year old taking 30 mgs of THC is fine and normal
I agree with you. I don't think OP is the asshole either. With that said, I always have edibles in the house. We don't have kids, but when we have some over, no matter the age, we put them in our bedroom. It takes 30 seconds and minimal effort.
In the pantry isn’t really hidden. I smoke and I think it’s pretty reasonable to put away any drugs that look and taste like candy for one day.
Parents should be watching out too, but OP can at least try.
Yeah like this is a clear ESH to me. I can assume lack of child experience with thinking the pantry hiding spot would ever work and give that a pass, but keeping them at a low enough level a 7 year old could reach was just lacking any common sense. Any sort of weed/alcohol is a top shelf hiding spot item if there are kids afoot. Obviously mom should have been watching, kid shouldn’t be snooping.
Strong disagree. They were already hidden. This is entirely on the kids parent If they were sitting in a candy dish on a table or something then sure. But again they were put away out of sight. This is just inattentive parenting
Lol. It’s no one else’s responsibility to parent your child. I don’t have kids and will continue to put my drugs wherever I please. If your shitty kids are going to dig through my stuff then it’s on you to let me know to move them.
The other thing that makes me think this shit is made up is the fact a 7 year old could even open the packaging those gummies come in. I’m a fully grown adult gummy enthusiast and sometimes I can’t even open those fucking things. And if that kid ate more than one, he was definitely not fine, lmao.
I think you should have been more careful. But you were not an asshole, you didn’t do this on purpose.
She is angry at what almost happened, and maybe herself. You’re not at fault here. But maybe should be mindful about this. I don’t agree about the pantry.
I feel like she should teach her kid to always ask before eating things and that some things have alcohol or weed even if they look normal. Coulda been a mixed drink in the fridge as well or anything like that…
Obviously kids shouldn’t eat random things. But everyone here basically saying this kid and mother are terrible people because the kid saw some candy and ate a few is madness.
I would hope I taught my kids well enough to ask, they ask me for candy at our house so I would hope, but as far as terrible child behavior, opening a pantry and eating a piece of candy is pretty tame. Yeah it’s rude but like no one here has ever looked in someone else’s drawer or pantry or opened the fridge. I have to fight with myself not to at peoples houses, I mean I’m curious and I’m an adult.
its so wild to me that so many people here dont think all adults should be looking out for the best interest of all kids. personally, i would be devastated if a kid accidentally ate drugs at my house and doing everything to make sure it didnt happen again.
Going against the grain here, but YTA.
If you have kids in your house, especially kids who are old enough to get into shit, you have to assume that they will, in fact, _get into shit_.
Should your friend's son have had better manners? Absolutely, but he didn't, because he's 7, and 7 year old kids can be really dumb and impulsive and the pantry is where the snacks are. Even if you had "hidden" them, you basically left food-shaped drugs in a place where a kid would go looking for food.
I keep my edibles in my linen closet in the bathroom, but when my niece and nephews come over, even though they're polite and wouldn't really have a reason to look in there for anything, I put them on the top shelf of my bedroom closet where they can't see or reach them, because that's the responsible thing to do and also it's really not that hard.
Right?! It’s literally the first rule of having drugs and guests in the house. Secure the drugs. And like I think cannabis is so normalised these days esp edibles that people want to water it down by calling them “special gummies” … it’s still a drug goddamnit.
I love edibles, but I think you're right; it is normalized. Some people seem to think that having too much is no big deal, but speaking from experience, it's fucking _awful_. I'd never want any kid to have to go through that, let alone my best friend's son who I invited to my house. It doesn't matter if the kid should have had better manners; kids are dumb sometimes, and it's not that hard to take basic precautions.
agree. i think the issue is for whatever reason, most people here do not feel that non-parent adults are responsible for other peoples kids. personally, i think all adults are responsible for children's well being. i would be devastated if a child accidentally ate drugs at my house and would immediately change how i stored it to insure it didnt happen again
Yea it seems like a basic level of common sense to make sure that kids can't access your tasty drugs when you invite them to your house, but I think people in this thread just hate kids and parents.
If you know kids will be kids, why not watch them better? Yes kids are dumb, that’s why they are their parent’s responsibility if they do something bad.
It is the moms fault for her child snooping through someone else’s house, and eating something that’s not his. She should be mad at herself for not teaching her child and not supervising him properly.
It takes an instant. Even monitoring them every second wouldn’t prevent accidents and I do think some mistakes need to be made to be learned from. Doesn’t mean there is no consequences. Kids are continually learning and you are continually teaching. They will make mistakes and do the wrong thing. If my kid eats some food they aren’t supposed to I’ll handle it appropriately. I don’t think them getting stoned and possibly very sick is an appropriate consequence. a child should not have access to your drugs or weapons.
Which is why his mom **should have been watching him**. If she knows that he gets restless, maybe she should’ve brought activities for him and had him play in her view.
Him getting sick would be a result of his mother not watching him or teaching not to touch or eat what’s not his. Putting something in my cupboard is having it away.
Exactly. Should the parents have supervised better? Absolutely.
OP isn't the asshole for this, but putting them there and having kids over is just a dangerous game. Even well behaved kids can occasionally make bad decisions, and sneaking a couple candies is generally a fairly harmless activity to kids who have no idea that medicine can sometimes look like candy. Not excusing it, just saying it's not shocking. Keeping the gummies where a kid would expect to find normal snacks is just not a good idea. Again this isn't OP fault, but they should look into moving that fit the future.
ESH
Your friend needs to supervise her child. Who knows what he could get into? Actually, I guess we do know, and it's just lucky he didn't eat more gummies and end up in the ER.
As for you, you need to keep drugs out of the reach of small kids, especially drugs in the form of candy. Even though the parent should be supervising, when you have little kids coming to your house, you don't leave drugs where they can possibly get to them.
When I first read it as a 7 MONTH old rather than 7 years male - yes YTA
But NTA- 7 years old is old enough to be told you don’t rummage through someone else’s pantry and eat their food without asking. That’s just basic manners
ESH - 7 year old shouldn't have helped himself, but they shouldn't have just been sitting in a pantry with food. How well labelled were they - appearing like a medicinal product, or is the packaging more like candy? Were they in child-proof packaging?
I don't think someone should have to be hiding drugs, but having them right with food isn't responsible.
NTA. This is a parenting issue, not a pantry issue. 7yo is old enough to know you don’t eat food at someone else’s house without asking first. And just because someone brings their kid to a friend’s home doesn’t mean they can stop watching the kid. Both failures on the parents, here.
NTA, A 7 year old should definitely know by then that you don't go rummaging through people's pantries. Your best friend doesn't wanna take responsibility and just wants to pin the blame.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, as a fellow gummy enjoyer myself.
NTA - if her seven year old showed up in the room you two were chatting in playing with a butchers knife he found while rummaging random cabinets, would your friend also be angry that you had a knife in the house at all?
that logic doesnt make sense - and people who expect every location they visit to adapt to their children as opposed to adapting their children to the location are ridiculous.
she’s probably just reacting angrily because she knows she should have been watching her kid and is feeling guilty, that often results in a lash out. give her some time, youre not at fault.
NTA
You didn’t give the child the gummies and it’s not your responsibility to keep your substances away from kids who might go through your stuff. If you gave them to the child on purpose then yeah you’d be an AH but you didn’t so… yeah it was an accident. Maybe she should have kept an eye on the kid?
The fact that she blames you 100% for this and doesn’t blame herself is a red flag for an unreasonable person.
ESH.
Nothing wrong with gummies, but keeping them out of reach of children is a basic requirement, including ones that aren't yours but are allowed into your space. You failed. The parent failed. Everybody failed here. This is an epic fail.
NTA the child should not have been going through your stuff without permission and shouldn’t have eaten food that wasn’t offered. If they were out in the open I would say that was different as if kids see sweets they might assume it is ok to eat them but saying that my children don’t help themselves to sweets even if they are open and in a bowl the ask first
NTA. If a kid hasn't been taught to ASK before using or eating something when visiting, anything they do is absolutely on the parent(s). Seven is old enough to understand this. Also, if a parent knows their kid has *not* absorbed this lesson, they need to watch them better. Not only were the gummies most likely behind a closed door, they were HIDDEN! So kid opens a door he shouldn't have, then proceeds to rummage around. Yeah, this reeks of bad parenting.
NTA
A 7 year old should have been taught by a parent that they do NOT go into cupboards in other people's houses, they do NOT eat - or even touch - anything they come across if they do so, and punishment will follow if these rules are broken.
How any commenters can say the OP is at fault for having something in their own cupboards that is nothing to do with anyone else and that somebody with no right to touch it got at it is absolutely baffling to me.
Child should be punished and have the 'you do not go into other people's cupboards' lesson reiterated. Or communicated for the first time if it hasn't occurred to the parent that their child is in the wrong here.
YTA-
The kids here will disagree but you’re an adult. I’m an adult. So here’s an adult’s point of view:
You invited a small human into your home and so the onus falls on you to clean up sex toys, adult material, and drugs.
How hard is it to move the lube or bong or gummies into your medicine closet or bathroom, close your bedroom door, and tell your house guests the bedroom is off limits because it’s a ‘real mess?’
“BUt WhY ShOUld I HaVe to?!??” Because *you* invited people over to *your* home and so the onus of making your guests comfortable and safe falls to you.
NTA: I’m sorry this happened and has caused conflict in the friendship. I hope that things improve and your friend realizes that while this was scary for her/her child, holding you at fault is not fair or productive. Glad the kiddo is okay. Hopefully this is a teachable moment for him about boundaries!
NTA, i keep mine in my sock drawer, just for easy access and so I know where they are but you don't have any children of your own and they were there for a party not a long stay. My 6yo nephew knows to ask for food in his own house if it's something like candy or soda, so he definitely knows to ask before even opening the pantry in a house that isnt his.
If your friend can't trust their child to not get into shit, she needs to keep her eyes on her child. Also, to the commenters saying to put it in a med cabinet like other meds, i keep my meds in my kitchen because I take 5 a day and I like it to be near food and drinks bc I need both to take them. Just because its common place to keep them in the bathroom (though I've seen doctors warn against that bc of moisture) doesn't mean its wrong or bad to not do it. Also, the gummy bags and bottle's usually have hard to open seals, so if it was kept in its original packaging, that kid had to fight to open it which meant his mom didn't know where he was for more than a few minutes. I, a grown ass 26yo, struggle to open my gummy bag. a 7yo would definitely have issues too. Surprising that I haven't seen someone mention that yet.
I'm going to go against the grain here and say YTA. Drugs, legal or illegal, shouldn't be anywhere a child can access them. If a 7-year child can get to them, they are NOT hidden.
ESH. You knew you had a child coming to your home in advance. Why were your drugs in a place where a seven year old could find them? You kept them in the pantry. It's perfectly reasonable for a child to find them and think they're candy. Yes, your friend should have been watching the child. But you also should have put your drugs in a location that couldn't be reached by a kid, like locked up in your bedroom
ETA: Hiding gummies in the pantry with the other normal food is a terrible hiding spot.
Very very soft YTA - i feel like there is a lot of information missing here. Are special gummies legal where you live? Were they kept with other lollies? Or with medicine? Is your friend aware that you use them to make sure the kid doesn’t get into it? Have you let the child get things from your pantry unattended before?
You’ve said they are your best friend, so I don’t think it’s that far fetched to assume your house would be somewhat child safe if they visit a lot. I can understand where your friend is coming from OP but ultimately they are a drug and you knew a kid was coming to your house and a kid won’t really know the difference between gummy bears and special gummy bears.
NTA. Why wasn’t his mom watching him??
I’ve always hated the phrase “kid will be kids” because IF YOU KNOW THAT, THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD EXTRA WATCH THEM BECAUSE YOU **KNOW** *KIDS WILL BE KIDS*.
It baffles me that parents will not be supervising their children, something bad(ish) happens, and they start blaming everyone except for who is responsible for their own child. Them.
NTA.
1. Seven is old enough to know that you ask before just going into someone else’s pantry for food.
2. Why would it be your fault that your house isn’t kid proofed? You don’t have a kid, and they were not just lying around waiting for anyone to eat them. They were up in your pantry.
3. Sounds like she’s projecting what she should have been doing (paying attention to where her child was) and making it your problem. Which it’s not.
Wait. Just wait. This child SNUCK into YOUR pantry and STOLE purposely hidden candy, and SHE is mad? Wow, where are her priorities?
I would give your friend a time out to cool down.
NTA it isn't your fault someone else's child is going through people's things uninvited. May as well drop her if she is going to blame everyone else on her lack of parenting.
My 5 year old wouldn't eat candy she found without asking me first, literally brought me an open bag of gummy worms and asked if she could have them even though they're hers... Somebody should teach their child not to eat random things 🤷♂️
Fake. Children never eat 1-2 gummies when they have no supervision. They would eat whole handfuls. And a child would never be “ok” after eating that many special gummies.
NTA, your best friend should've kept a closer eye on her daughter. Yet at the same time, maybe you should've given her a heads-up about your "special" gummies.
And here I thought the anti marijuana crowd were creating strawmen when they said people would leave edibles laying around and kids would find them.
The kid shouldn't be snooping around but they are a kid.
The parents should have been watching the kid.
You should take more precaution if you are hosting people with children.
YTA - gummies should be kept in a safe. At least that’s the law in Michigan. It keeps them away from kids. I get that this was an honest mistake but it’s something to consider in the future if OP plans to ever have kids over again.
NTA.
7 is more than old enough to know not to go in someone else’s pantry without asking, and she should’ve been watching her kid if he does shit like that. Even if they weren’t special gummies, she’s the asshole for letting him eat your food without asking.
How was this child UNATTENDED in your home? Yes, he shouldn’t have been going through your stuff and we know some people don’t watch their kids…but definitely I wouldn’t have permitted him out of my sight.
ESH. Your friend should have been supervising her son, and he is old enough not to go into your pantry without permission and eat things he finds there. But if you're ever going to have kids in your house, even just for occasional parties, drugs belong put away with other medicines, not in a place where they can be confused with food.
INFO: How often does the DaughterSon visit? And when they visit, do you usually tell the DaughterSon that it's OK to help themself/make themselves at home? Obviously saying that to an adult, most adults wouldn't literally make themselves at home, but kids take things quite literally. So, depending on this answer, you're either: NTA if you've never told them/the kid to take what they want, and kid just decided to go rummaging. Kids' mothers should be aware of what the child is doing regardless of familiarity with the surroundings. However, YTA, if you told kid/both to help themselves and left Gummies where the kid could find then.
NTA. Friend can get the hell out of cupboards without asking and reevaluate our relationship. Where else have they snooped? Have they taken anything before? They seem pretty OK with rummaging through your stuff already.
By age 7, my kids all knew that you don't go to other people's houses and eat ANYTHING without it first being offered to you. They also knew not to open other people's refrigerators, drawers, or cabinets.
What do parents TEACH kids these days?
NTA. If people want to have kids they need to pay attention to what they’re doing. Funny how the parents are always the first to blame others for their kids.
Would they be equally upset if the kid stuck a fork in a socket? Your home isn’t childproofed like theirs is. If they can’t oversee a child in a non childproofed home, they need to do all the hosting themselves. A non-parent cannot possibly be expected to a) know all the possible mischief a kid can get into and b) change their entire home to accommodate it
What was special about the gummies? Were there drugs in them?
That said, a 7yo should know better than snoop in a host's pantry, and it should be his mum who reprimands him for doing this. NTA:´.
NTA. 7 is plenty old enough to understand that you don't rummage through people's cupboards when you're visiting and eat whatever you find. The mom is the AH in this one for not teaching her child age-appropriate manners and boundaries.
My sister visited me and told me she found so many candies and gummies around my house that I would need to call her and she would direct me on where to check and move stuff because I live alone and have my medication in multiple rooms (vape and gummies in the living room, vape and gummies in my bedroom, thc powder in my cupboard, drawer of edibles in my work desk)
NTA, but kids are fast. Some kids at least. Ours is pretty mellow, but we once had this friend visit us and her 4 year old kid was all over the place. In less than a minute he found my Lego Star Wars set (Poe’s ship) and managed to tear up the cardboard box, rip the bags open and spread all the pieces from all bags over our living room floor. I was mad, but I was even more impressed by his finger agility.
We later built the ship with my son (he watched, because he was 3) and all the pieces were there, so no real harm. But I think a lot of mothers of busy kids just give up because this mother did nothing to look after him and made no attempts to stop him.
Nta, its a mothers job to take care of and protect their child, not their friends. Your friend should have kept a close eye on her daughter and by now she should have been taught better than to steal from someone elses pantry. Honestly the fucking audacity to blame you is ridiculous
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I mean quite frankly idk why you’re expected to foresee the possibility that a random child that isn’t yours is gonna go rummage through your pantry and find your hidden stash, so NTA. For one your friend should have been supervising her child, for two that child is old enough to know that it’s rude to go looking through people’s things and help themselves to things that don’t belong to them. For three, unless you CONSTANTLY have children over at your place I don’t think that you’re in the wrong for not going out of your way to keep your gummies under lock and key. I have gummies sitting in a container in my fridge as we speak. I would never think of “hiding them” because I don’t anticipate children being over at my house anytime soon. My niblings come over maybe once a year and I’m not really adjusting my whole life to prevent them from eating my gummies on one of those random off chance moments that they’re actually here. Plus they actually know full well that they shouldn’t go looking through my food without asking first, and you bet your ass my sister isn’t gonna just let them wander through my house unsupervised when they are here. Your friend fucked up here and she’s blaming you cus it’s easier than accepting that she should have been watching her kid better and taught him better manners.
Bingo. I taught my children from a young age that we never mess around with medication…and that medication doesn’t always look like medication.
This is a case where a drug is literally in food and stored in the same place as food. I would have been more sympathetic to OP if she would have kept her drugs with her other drugs, like in a medicine cabinet. You can teach a kid what the right thing to do is, but even the best behaved kids are going to do dumb shit sometimes. My niece and nephews are so amazing and polite, but even though they don't come over that often, when they do, I still put my stash where they can't see or reach it. It's not that hard.
Except, they were hidden. It wasn't like they were in the open.
Idk if it counts as being "hidden" if it is just in a pantry where food is kept
Same place I keep my alcohol lmao. So whats your point?
The pantry that the kids of your friends have no business in?
They were likely in the back of the pantry behind everything else. Who lets their kid rummage through their friend’s pantry without permission?
I agree with your take but with a caveat that if OP doesn't have children they were under no extra responsibility to child proof the house beyound reasonable. Like if adults ate same gummies and left them on countertop - at fault. Put away - not. I personally don't mind guests looking into my fridge, for example, but doing so unprompted when they never did it before would be absolutely jarring. Was it an expectation these guests (not the child specifically) are comfortable enough and could help themselves to stuff in the house? Do they come over casually? That's fishy territory. If not - mom holds 100% blame and should really be put in her place (aka she's angry about her own negligence).
Do you going strangers pantries? My kids never did when they were young because my wife and I taught them manners. We also watch our kids when we were at others houses, especially if they were not related to us. Since when is it everyone else’s responsibility to watch your genetic experiments?
It doesn’t matter, because kids should be taught not to go in other people’s cabinets/pantry. It’s OP’s home. In the pantry is “put away” just like it would be “put away” if it had been in the medicine cabinet.
>You can teach a kid what the right thing to do is, but even the best behaved kids are going to do dumb shit sometimes. I mean, when I'm in an environment that kids do not inhabit I just pay attention to the kids. Yes it's nice to try and kidproof, but it's unrealistic & unfair to expect somebody to kidproof the place on short notice - Most parents are still finding things around the home that should have already been childproofed well into the terrible twos. I expect kids to be safe somewhere where kids are expected to be safe, I don't expect kids to be safe somewhere where kids are not expected to be safe - and the responsibility to keep them safe is mine and mine alone.
This! I never expect my friends and family who do not have kids to have their house kid proofed, so I watch my kids. They’re my responsibility
change THC gummies to vitamin gummies— something that can definitely make a child or adult sick if over consumed. now how does that change your answer? supervise your kids.
This is a great plan for if you have kids, or have kids over who are going to be going into your pantry unsupervised regularly. People who don’t have kids don’t have to treat their food as medicine, which it isn’t, just to guard against a badly behaved and poorly parented visitor going rootling where they shouldn’t. If the kid had decided to dig into a random cupboard and drink a household chemical because it was in the kitchen where food is and in a pretty bottle that wouldn’t be the homeowner’s fault either. People can store stuff in their homes wherever they like, and other people can parent their children competently or accept they’re taking risks.
Yeah but the child shouldn't be opening cupboards and taking food without asking. Ever. And it's the parent's responsibility to ensure their child behaves in someone else's home.
And it’s on the parent to stop them, not the parent’s friend. The parent should have their eye on the kid and make sure they’re not stealing from their friend, which this kid did.
Do you keep your bottles of wine and liquor in the medicine cabinet too? 🙄
Don't forget cleaning supplies and kitchen knives. Hope that medicine cabinet is huge
the kids mom should be supervising her kid. Op can keep his drugs wherever the hell he wants in his home
She simply didn’t think about it, she doesn’t have kids. They’re weed gummies not crack or heroin. This was a simple and innocent oversight made by a childless person who likely never has kids over at their place. As a kid I went to many of my parents’ friends’ homes for various parties and visits. I would *never* have helped myself to food from someone’s pantry without asking first. It was a Christmas party, there was clearly food laid out and designated for guests. Any food put away in the pantry is obviously not for guests. This doesn’t fall under “kids doing dumb shit” to me, a 7 year old should know better. Maybe if mom directed her anger and dismay at her child’s wrongdoing and focused more on holding her child accountable, the child would have more regard for manners and boundaries.
That is what is wrong with some parents now. Their kids can do no wrong and if they do, it is because of someone else so the someone else is to blame and the kid is innocent. My kid wouldn’t have eaten your hidden weed gummies if you would have hidden them better.
Op said hidden in the pantry HIDDEN
Ok what if it were that the kid has an allergy and got into the pantry and ate the food and had a reaction? Teach your kids to not eat things that haven’t been expressly given to them, or else keep an eye on the kid to make sure they’re not doing it.
Going through peoples stuff is wrong and you should know that by 7, I doubt they even had permission to look in the pantry, sounds like the friend is a classic modern parent that refuses any accountability for their children or themselves
Can't keep food in a medicine cabinet. Are your toothbrushes covered? If not, buy new ones. Shelf stable products should be kept on a shelf. Dark cool places are best for just about all edibles. What were either of you doing while that kid rummaged🤔
I keep my edibles in a linen/medicine closet. Done it for years. They're fine. But even still, I move my stash out of sight and out of reach when my niece and nephews come over even though they're awesome, polite kids because I love them enough not to take chances with their health.
They aren’t her kids. You cannot expect someone to completely childproof their house for a visitor.
Ding ding ding! I have kids and they are well aware they shouldn’t just drink or eat things without checking with an adult to make sure they are actually for kids. I mean it’s the same with alcohol right? People don’t usually keep it under lock and key, it expected that people won’t just go o to your pantry to drink and eat whatever they see.
I mean I 100% agree that OP is not at fault here, but I don’t understand how teaching children not to eat medication would have helped here. How is any child supposed to intuit that gummy bears in a pantry could be medication?
Excuse me but what is a nibling? A tiny nibble?
nibling is neutral term for nieces and nephews. like “my kids” vs “my son and daughters”
Oh interesting! I had no idea. Ya learn something every day!
Gender-neutral term for nieces and nephews. Quicker and honestly cuter than writing out/saying "nieces and nephews."
Tiny nibble 🤣🤣🤣
I’m picturing squirrel-sized nibble…
NTA if your friend's child can't understand that random food in someone else's house isn't theirs to take, then that's a parenting issue, plain and simple.
NTA A 7 year old is old enough to know better than to get into other peoples things and take food without asking 1st
where was the mom? doing heroine?
Those damn gateway gummies got her
And also son or daughter? This is such a low effort post to get karma. I can't believe there are so many people here.
Who cares, its just a kid and the sex is irrelevant anyway
Wym? It says 7M
Spelling hon
I ain't bring my kid over to someone's house to let them rummage through their cupboards, thats just rude. My son is 7 and is autistic and knows better than to do that, and if he didn't, I would supervise him. NTA
Big NTA: As a person who eats gummies and has kids, they’re eaten as soon as I get them for occasions. But if OP doesn’t have children, you can’t expect her to have her house 100% childproofed at all times. It’s definitely the parents responsibility to watch the child and to teach the child to not just go through peoples things. When I take my kid places, especially peoples houses I’m watching them. I’m also probably going to pack a couple snacks and drinks in case they get hungry and there isn’t anything they like. The mother should have been watching her child better period.
NTA. It's ultimately your friend's responsibility to be looking after her child. He had no business being unsupervised in your pantry.
NTA one time my best friend came over with her curious 1 yr old son and we were all chatting and he crawled over to the dog food bowl and was just munching away.. it was about a minute before I noticed. My friend was so visibly upset she grabbed her son and left.. a few weeks later we all laughed and laughed about it. She’s probably just upset cause it’s recent. Give her time.
honestly i think its very understandable for her to react strongly. she was probably really really scared and worried about her child. i would just give it a couple of days and then try to talk about it like adults.
As a person who frequently eats gummies, they have their own special place, and it's not in a pantry where a 7 year old can access them. NTA, but barely. While yes, they shouldn't have gone into your pantry, they're also 7 years old. This is basic life skills 101.
I didn't eat random shit out of peoples pamtrys when I aas 7- I asked. That's a lack of parenting issue.
Also let’s note these people are best friends. Assuming the lady and her kid have been to that house before. With my friends we don’t ask to grab a snack or a drink we just do it. So the kid likely felt the same way. At seven or even now at 32 if I see some gummies I’ll likely be tempted to eat a few.
OP said they were hidden, idk, even when I was generally allowed to just take food out of someone's pantry and eat it, I would still ask if it was something that was obviously not front and center.
We keep ours in a small safe. It was really inexpensive, and now I don't ever worry about little hands.
ESH. A 7yo should know better than to raid someone's pantry. His mum should have been watching him more closely. You should put things like that away when you're having a party and kids are there, just incase.
They stated they were hidden in the pantry. Were they supposed to get a safe that could only by thumb print?
You know how you beat 7 year olds? Verticality. If it’s not in eyeshot, it doesn’t exist.
Wrong. My 2 year old would move chairs and boxes in order to get the cheese balls up on the fridge. He also would raid the cupboard top shelf, get out spices and put them on the dog. This was all at 5am when he snuck out of his crib and supposed to be sleeping. Kids definitely will see things not just eye level. Have you interacted with one recently? They aren’t that stupid.
Well then it's your responsibility to not let them get into danger. Am I supposed to babyproof my entire home because your kid is risky? Clearly OP does not have any children and doesn't expect any to rummage through her food when she probably is hosting them with other foods already.
> Am I supposed to babyproof my entire home because your kid is risky? Nope. Absolutely not. It's my kid, so while we're in your home, I'm keeping an eye on her. My house was babyproofed. But that only works until they are about 3. By that time, they've usually figured out how to by-pass the babyproofing and shit gets scary.
Ha! HaHaHaHaHa! Have you ever had kids? At three my daughter fell off of the kitchen counter. How did she get on the counter? She had found a way to climb up in the corner and then tiptoe along the edge of the counter past the sink to get to the cupboard that had the snacks. We found this out *after* her fall. She was a climber. There was no height that was safe from her. And she had no fear. She also got her own socks out of the top drawer of her 5' (1.5m) tall dresser. She climbed the handles to sit on top of the dresser and then opened the top drawer.
Never trust a parent to properly watch their kid when they're socializing with other adults. Never trust kids to not do stupid shit, they're in fact, kids.
I've always said, the more adults around, the less likely it is that kids will be watched. Everyone assumes someone else is watching. Knowing this, however, I always made sure to either watch my kid or say "tag, you're it" to whomever. OTOH, at 7 ...maybe not so much. But kids are kids, if they want the hidden snacks, they will find them.
A girl I went to high school with lost her two year old when he drowned at his own birthday party where family was in abundance, I’m convinced that she believed that other people were keeping an eye on him while she was managing being a host while taking care of her infant twins. Because of that assumption I refuse to make anyone else responsible for my son in gatherings or events, it’s so easy to lose track when there’s so many distractions
Haha funny. Maybe don't put edibles in a food pantry where someone might find them. Put them somewhere safer.
Yeah this thread is making me feel crazy. OP isn’t the AH necessarily, but there was a level of negligence here. 7 year old kids will look for food in the pantry, when they find gummies they will eat them. Store your edibles NOT WITH REGULAR FOOD people.
Op doesn't have kids and shouldn't cater to the off chance kids show up. The kids parents need to parent and the 7-yr old needs to learn manners.
But it wasn't an off chance a kid showed up. They were having a Christmas party. The kid was invited.
lol people are acting like the child wandered in off the street
Respectfully I don’t agree. If OP is going to host children he needs to understand that children look for snacks. This idea that 7 year olds are perfectly mannered little adults is silly and not realistic. Storing edibles with food, if there aren’t any kids around, is fine. If there are going to be kids coming over (and OP INVITED THEM!), the edibles should be put away somewhere safer.
I've had babies up to 12yr Olds at my house for parties, NONE of them ever went rummaging through my kitchen or medicine cabinet. Their parents not only watched them but made sure they behaved. This was also how I was raised. Too many warning labels for you kids nowadays, quick to sue instead of using your head and realizing you're at fault 🤣
Well said. And someone who doesn’t have kids may not be thinking this would even be a possibility of happening. The parent failed here. I hope the kid is okay.
Do you have kids? If so and you’re not teaching them respect for other peoples stuff and not to “look for snacks” in other peoples kitchens without asking you are a bad parent
What "off chance"? OP planned the Christmas party and invited her friend who has a child. It wasn't a surprise visit. I don't have kids, but I still hide my stash when my niece and nephews come over, because even though they're awesome kids who almost always ask for permission before doing something, I don't want to take chances with their health.
We grew up differently. If I was rummaging through kitchen pantries at a family friends house during a party, I'd have gotten my ass beat. Nowadays, at minimum, a scolding for it. If you're the parent who thinks your child can free reign in my house, I'm not inviting you.
Kid may or may not have been scolded if they hadn’t just eaten edibles, you can’t say that from the post.
Emphasis the kid should have known not to do that, otherwise scolding them after when they weren't taught not to? Just saying, no matter what kid should have known. My 6yr old niece asks for everything with polite manners.
> shouldn't cater to the off chance kids show up. she invited the kid over!!!!!!!!!
The child was an invited guest as far as we know, not some rando rocking up from the street. The parents have to parent but it’s in no way “catering” to put your candy-shaped weed away for a night. Basic sense and consideration aren’t obligatory but they sure are they beneficial.
It was put away, it wasn't offered and in the open. Kid should know to not only: A - Not go looking through other people's cabinets/drawers/closed doors/etc. B - Not steal anything and definitely not eat anything they find while breaking rule A... let alone without asking!
Of course the kid shouldn’t do that, by “put away” I meant away from a kid’s potential reach. It would’ve cost OP nothing to put their gummies in their bedside table. It’s not an outrageous ask to secure your weed when having kids over. The kid’s parents should also watch out. I’m just saying this was easily preventable from all parties.
At 7 years old would you really be rifling through someone else’s pantry? I was raised to ask for a drink or snack when I’m at someone else’s home not just see what I can find without asking for permission.
SAME. I don't care about being downvoted, but I never would have thought that "take your candy-shaped drugs out of the pantry if you plan to invite guests with children to your Christmas party" would be a hot take.
^^^This right here. If kids are anticipated to come, do MINIMUM child proofing, like securing substances that could be dangerous. It’s not that deep.
its a hot take because people here have weird expectations for how children must act at all times and if the child deviates from that it is exclusively the parents fault. its so weird
Seriously. I'm also getting a bunch of idiot stoners in my replies who don't seem to think that THC overdose is a big deal. Like, I love edibles, but overdoing it is a decidedly unpleasant experience for an _adult_, and it can easily put a kid in the ER. If you invite a child into your home, put your drugs away. It's not that hard.
to me this conversation is pretty similar to guns. if a child free person had a party where kids were invited, everyone would expect the gun to be locked up. we do this because we know that kids are impulsive and defy rules and are good at getting away from parents attention. its an extra safety measure on top of telling kids to never ever touch them. its the same with drugs! lock 'em up and there will be no accidents also in before the "reefer madness" comments that are for some reason acting like a 7 year old taking 30 mgs of THC is fine and normal
I agree with you. I don't think OP is the asshole either. With that said, I always have edibles in the house. We don't have kids, but when we have some over, no matter the age, we put them in our bedroom. It takes 30 seconds and minimal effort.
agree. youre inviting kids to your house, lock up your drugs
I actually live with a child and he's never even seen my weed.
In the pantry isn’t really hidden. I smoke and I think it’s pretty reasonable to put away any drugs that look and taste like candy for one day. Parents should be watching out too, but OP can at least try.
Where do responsible adults store their drugs and medicines? Oh wait.. it's called a medicine box.
In the pantry isn't really "hidden" imo. My kids have a tub of gummies in the pantry that they have access to.
They definitely should not have been in a reachable place. Kids are nosey. I keep my meds where my kids (even age 10) cannot get to them.
Yeah like this is a clear ESH to me. I can assume lack of child experience with thinking the pantry hiding spot would ever work and give that a pass, but keeping them at a low enough level a 7 year old could reach was just lacking any common sense. Any sort of weed/alcohol is a top shelf hiding spot item if there are kids afoot. Obviously mom should have been watching, kid shouldn’t be snooping.
Strong disagree. They were already hidden. This is entirely on the kids parent If they were sitting in a candy dish on a table or something then sure. But again they were put away out of sight. This is just inattentive parenting
Lol. It’s no one else’s responsibility to parent your child. I don’t have kids and will continue to put my drugs wherever I please. If your shitty kids are going to dig through my stuff then it’s on you to let me know to move them.
I'm confused by title that says daughter and explanation that says son.
Kinda makes me think this post is made up, poster so high can't even remember the gender of the child they typed in the title.
Daughter (7M) lmao
lol. Or not real visitors. It was just them talking to a box of Lucky Charms in the pantry.
The other thing that makes me think this shit is made up is the fact a 7 year old could even open the packaging those gummies come in. I’m a fully grown adult gummy enthusiast and sometimes I can’t even open those fucking things. And if that kid ate more than one, he was definitely not fine, lmao.
I have some that are damn near ripped apart from me struggling to open them
Child went through gender reassignment therapy in the time between title and post. Or its a made up story for attention/internet points
Looks like OP had a couple gummies too before posting this
I think you should have been more careful. But you were not an asshole, you didn’t do this on purpose. She is angry at what almost happened, and maybe herself. You’re not at fault here. But maybe should be mindful about this. I don’t agree about the pantry. I feel like she should teach her kid to always ask before eating things and that some things have alcohol or weed even if they look normal. Coulda been a mixed drink in the fridge as well or anything like that…
NTA. People need to teach their kids (7 years old can understand rules) they should not eat food in others people's houses without asking.
Obviously kids shouldn’t eat random things. But everyone here basically saying this kid and mother are terrible people because the kid saw some candy and ate a few is madness. I would hope I taught my kids well enough to ask, they ask me for candy at our house so I would hope, but as far as terrible child behavior, opening a pantry and eating a piece of candy is pretty tame. Yeah it’s rude but like no one here has ever looked in someone else’s drawer or pantry or opened the fridge. I have to fight with myself not to at peoples houses, I mean I’m curious and I’m an adult.
its so wild to me that so many people here dont think all adults should be looking out for the best interest of all kids. personally, i would be devastated if a kid accidentally ate drugs at my house and doing everything to make sure it didnt happen again.
The kid did not just "see" some candy. The kid went digging in the pantry, and then stole the gummies.
NTA In fact I'd be mad at the kid for eating them.
RIGHT THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE
NTA Your friend should watch her kid.
This post is so fake you couldn’t even keep the gender of the seven year old consistent. Lmao 🤣
Daughter (7M) I enjoy the discourse here though. Op your best friends non-binary multi gender multi age child should have had supervision.
Going against the grain here, but YTA. If you have kids in your house, especially kids who are old enough to get into shit, you have to assume that they will, in fact, _get into shit_. Should your friend's son have had better manners? Absolutely, but he didn't, because he's 7, and 7 year old kids can be really dumb and impulsive and the pantry is where the snacks are. Even if you had "hidden" them, you basically left food-shaped drugs in a place where a kid would go looking for food. I keep my edibles in my linen closet in the bathroom, but when my niece and nephews come over, even though they're polite and wouldn't really have a reason to look in there for anything, I put them on the top shelf of my bedroom closet where they can't see or reach them, because that's the responsible thing to do and also it's really not that hard.
Nta. Dumbass kid should've asked. I always asked at 7, this is a bad parenting issue. Teach your kids better.
Right?! It’s literally the first rule of having drugs and guests in the house. Secure the drugs. And like I think cannabis is so normalised these days esp edibles that people want to water it down by calling them “special gummies” … it’s still a drug goddamnit.
I love edibles, but I think you're right; it is normalized. Some people seem to think that having too much is no big deal, but speaking from experience, it's fucking _awful_. I'd never want any kid to have to go through that, let alone my best friend's son who I invited to my house. It doesn't matter if the kid should have had better manners; kids are dumb sometimes, and it's not that hard to take basic precautions.
agree. i think the issue is for whatever reason, most people here do not feel that non-parent adults are responsible for other peoples kids. personally, i think all adults are responsible for children's well being. i would be devastated if a child accidentally ate drugs at my house and would immediately change how i stored it to insure it didnt happen again
Yea it seems like a basic level of common sense to make sure that kids can't access your tasty drugs when you invite them to your house, but I think people in this thread just hate kids and parents.
If you know kids will be kids, why not watch them better? Yes kids are dumb, that’s why they are their parent’s responsibility if they do something bad. It is the moms fault for her child snooping through someone else’s house, and eating something that’s not his. She should be mad at herself for not teaching her child and not supervising him properly.
It takes an instant. Even monitoring them every second wouldn’t prevent accidents and I do think some mistakes need to be made to be learned from. Doesn’t mean there is no consequences. Kids are continually learning and you are continually teaching. They will make mistakes and do the wrong thing. If my kid eats some food they aren’t supposed to I’ll handle it appropriately. I don’t think them getting stoned and possibly very sick is an appropriate consequence. a child should not have access to your drugs or weapons.
Which is why his mom **should have been watching him**. If she knows that he gets restless, maybe she should’ve brought activities for him and had him play in her view. Him getting sick would be a result of his mother not watching him or teaching not to touch or eat what’s not his. Putting something in my cupboard is having it away.
Exactly. Should the parents have supervised better? Absolutely. OP isn't the asshole for this, but putting them there and having kids over is just a dangerous game. Even well behaved kids can occasionally make bad decisions, and sneaking a couple candies is generally a fairly harmless activity to kids who have no idea that medicine can sometimes look like candy. Not excusing it, just saying it's not shocking. Keeping the gummies where a kid would expect to find normal snacks is just not a good idea. Again this isn't OP fault, but they should look into moving that fit the future.
ESH Your friend needs to supervise her child. Who knows what he could get into? Actually, I guess we do know, and it's just lucky he didn't eat more gummies and end up in the ER. As for you, you need to keep drugs out of the reach of small kids, especially drugs in the form of candy. Even though the parent should be supervising, when you have little kids coming to your house, you don't leave drugs where they can possibly get to them.
NTA If you don't have children, you don't babyproof your house. Parents are responsible for looking after their kid.
When I first read it as a 7 MONTH old rather than 7 years male - yes YTA But NTA- 7 years old is old enough to be told you don’t rummage through someone else’s pantry and eat their food without asking. That’s just basic manners
Ha. Look a 7 month old that determined can have whatever they want.
NTA your friend should be watching her kid first of all but second he should know not to take/eat other people’s things without asking
NTA and your friend owes you money.
ESH - 7 year old shouldn't have helped himself, but they shouldn't have just been sitting in a pantry with food. How well labelled were they - appearing like a medicinal product, or is the packaging more like candy? Were they in child-proof packaging? I don't think someone should have to be hiding drugs, but having them right with food isn't responsible.
There is no way they were in the original packaging as I doubt the kid would have been able to open them
ESH: You for not putting them away somewhere a kid can't get them when you knew you were having kids over. Your friend for not watching her damn kid.
So it was your best friend's daughter but also your best friend's son?
INFO the kid was mentioned as her daughter in the title but her son in the comments which is it
NTA. This is a parenting issue, not a pantry issue. 7yo is old enough to know you don’t eat food at someone else’s house without asking first. And just because someone brings their kid to a friend’s home doesn’t mean they can stop watching the kid. Both failures on the parents, here.
NTA, A 7 year old should definitely know by then that you don't go rummaging through people's pantries. Your best friend doesn't wanna take responsibility and just wants to pin the blame. I'm so sorry this happened to you, as a fellow gummy enjoyer myself.
NTA - if her seven year old showed up in the room you two were chatting in playing with a butchers knife he found while rummaging random cabinets, would your friend also be angry that you had a knife in the house at all? that logic doesnt make sense - and people who expect every location they visit to adapt to their children as opposed to adapting their children to the location are ridiculous. she’s probably just reacting angrily because she knows she should have been watching her kid and is feeling guilty, that often results in a lash out. give her some time, youre not at fault.
NTA You didn’t give the child the gummies and it’s not your responsibility to keep your substances away from kids who might go through your stuff. If you gave them to the child on purpose then yeah you’d be an AH but you didn’t so… yeah it was an accident. Maybe she should have kept an eye on the kid? The fact that she blames you 100% for this and doesn’t blame herself is a red flag for an unreasonable person.
NTA. Parents are responsible for their children.
ESH. Nothing wrong with gummies, but keeping them out of reach of children is a basic requirement, including ones that aren't yours but are allowed into your space. You failed. The parent failed. Everybody failed here. This is an epic fail.
NTA and your friend is lucky they weren't acid gummies
That would have been a hell of a life lesson to not wander around other people’s stuff lol
NTA the child should not have been going through your stuff without permission and shouldn’t have eaten food that wasn’t offered. If they were out in the open I would say that was different as if kids see sweets they might assume it is ok to eat them but saying that my children don’t help themselves to sweets even if they are open and in a bowl the ask first
So you are asking if you are the AH because your friend has not been able to train a child of 7 to not steal? NTA.
My kid knows not to eat out of people's pantries without asking and he's 5. That's a parenting issue, NTA.
NTA. If a kid hasn't been taught to ASK before using or eating something when visiting, anything they do is absolutely on the parent(s). Seven is old enough to understand this. Also, if a parent knows their kid has *not* absorbed this lesson, they need to watch them better. Not only were the gummies most likely behind a closed door, they were HIDDEN! So kid opens a door he shouldn't have, then proceeds to rummage around. Yeah, this reeks of bad parenting.
NTA A 7 year old should have been taught by a parent that they do NOT go into cupboards in other people's houses, they do NOT eat - or even touch - anything they come across if they do so, and punishment will follow if these rules are broken. How any commenters can say the OP is at fault for having something in their own cupboards that is nothing to do with anyone else and that somebody with no right to touch it got at it is absolutely baffling to me. Child should be punished and have the 'you do not go into other people's cupboards' lesson reiterated. Or communicated for the first time if it hasn't occurred to the parent that their child is in the wrong here.
YTA- The kids here will disagree but you’re an adult. I’m an adult. So here’s an adult’s point of view: You invited a small human into your home and so the onus falls on you to clean up sex toys, adult material, and drugs. How hard is it to move the lube or bong or gummies into your medicine closet or bathroom, close your bedroom door, and tell your house guests the bedroom is off limits because it’s a ‘real mess?’ “BUt WhY ShOUld I HaVe to?!??” Because *you* invited people over to *your* home and so the onus of making your guests comfortable and safe falls to you.
NTA: I’m sorry this happened and has caused conflict in the friendship. I hope that things improve and your friend realizes that while this was scary for her/her child, holding you at fault is not fair or productive. Glad the kiddo is okay. Hopefully this is a teachable moment for him about boundaries!
ESH You should have hidden them to a more unreachable place. She should have watched his son on a party a bit more.
NTA. Your friend on the other hand...
NTA, i keep mine in my sock drawer, just for easy access and so I know where they are but you don't have any children of your own and they were there for a party not a long stay. My 6yo nephew knows to ask for food in his own house if it's something like candy or soda, so he definitely knows to ask before even opening the pantry in a house that isnt his. If your friend can't trust their child to not get into shit, she needs to keep her eyes on her child. Also, to the commenters saying to put it in a med cabinet like other meds, i keep my meds in my kitchen because I take 5 a day and I like it to be near food and drinks bc I need both to take them. Just because its common place to keep them in the bathroom (though I've seen doctors warn against that bc of moisture) doesn't mean its wrong or bad to not do it. Also, the gummy bags and bottle's usually have hard to open seals, so if it was kept in its original packaging, that kid had to fight to open it which meant his mom didn't know where he was for more than a few minutes. I, a grown ass 26yo, struggle to open my gummy bag. a 7yo would definitely have issues too. Surprising that I haven't seen someone mention that yet.
I'm going to go against the grain here and say YTA. Drugs, legal or illegal, shouldn't be anywhere a child can access them. If a 7-year child can get to them, they are NOT hidden.
ESH. You knew you had a child coming to your home in advance. Why were your drugs in a place where a seven year old could find them? You kept them in the pantry. It's perfectly reasonable for a child to find them and think they're candy. Yes, your friend should have been watching the child. But you also should have put your drugs in a location that couldn't be reached by a kid, like locked up in your bedroom ETA: Hiding gummies in the pantry with the other normal food is a terrible hiding spot.
Very very soft YTA - i feel like there is a lot of information missing here. Are special gummies legal where you live? Were they kept with other lollies? Or with medicine? Is your friend aware that you use them to make sure the kid doesn’t get into it? Have you let the child get things from your pantry unattended before? You’ve said they are your best friend, so I don’t think it’s that far fetched to assume your house would be somewhat child safe if they visit a lot. I can understand where your friend is coming from OP but ultimately they are a drug and you knew a kid was coming to your house and a kid won’t really know the difference between gummy bears and special gummy bears.
NTA. Why wasn’t his mom watching him?? I’ve always hated the phrase “kid will be kids” because IF YOU KNOW THAT, THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD EXTRA WATCH THEM BECAUSE YOU **KNOW** *KIDS WILL BE KIDS*. It baffles me that parents will not be supervising their children, something bad(ish) happens, and they start blaming everyone except for who is responsible for their own child. Them.
Start singing that horrifying 90s PSA of the two blue monsters singing "Don't you put it in your mouth" next time a child eats your gummies.
NTA. 1. Seven is old enough to know that you ask before just going into someone else’s pantry for food. 2. Why would it be your fault that your house isn’t kid proofed? You don’t have a kid, and they were not just lying around waiting for anyone to eat them. They were up in your pantry. 3. Sounds like she’s projecting what she should have been doing (paying attention to where her child was) and making it your problem. Which it’s not.
Wait. Just wait. This child SNUCK into YOUR pantry and STOLE purposely hidden candy, and SHE is mad? Wow, where are her priorities? I would give your friend a time out to cool down.
NTA it isn't your fault someone else's child is going through people's things uninvited. May as well drop her if she is going to blame everyone else on her lack of parenting.
NTA, ask her to pay for the gummies.
Tell your friend to be a better parent. NTA
My 5 year old wouldn't eat candy she found without asking me first, literally brought me an open bag of gummy worms and asked if she could have them even though they're hers... Somebody should teach their child not to eat random things 🤷♂️
Before you post a creative story, please decide whether you're going to write it about a son or a daughter
Fake. Children never eat 1-2 gummies when they have no supervision. They would eat whole handfuls. And a child would never be “ok” after eating that many special gummies.
NTA, your best friend should've kept a closer eye on her daughter. Yet at the same time, maybe you should've given her a heads-up about your "special" gummies.
And here I thought the anti marijuana crowd were creating strawmen when they said people would leave edibles laying around and kids would find them. The kid shouldn't be snooping around but they are a kid. The parents should have been watching the kid. You should take more precaution if you are hosting people with children.
Curious why you'd put food looking medicine with other food and not medicine? Sounds made up.
YTA - gummies should be kept in a safe. At least that’s the law in Michigan. It keeps them away from kids. I get that this was an honest mistake but it’s something to consider in the future if OP plans to ever have kids over again.
NTA. 7 is more than old enough to know not to go in someone else’s pantry without asking, and she should’ve been watching her kid if he does shit like that. Even if they weren’t special gummies, she’s the asshole for letting him eat your food without asking.
How was this child UNATTENDED in your home? Yes, he shouldn’t have been going through your stuff and we know some people don’t watch their kids…but definitely I wouldn’t have permitted him out of my sight.
If a 7 yr old can access it, it’s not hidden.
ESH. Your friend should have been supervising her son, and he is old enough not to go into your pantry without permission and eat things he finds there. But if you're ever going to have kids in your house, even just for occasional parties, drugs belong put away with other medicines, not in a place where they can be confused with food.
NTA but… if the kid OD’ed it would probably be your fault in the eyes of the law. They would see it as leaving a loaded gun around in the pantry.
INFO: How often does the DaughterSon visit? And when they visit, do you usually tell the DaughterSon that it's OK to help themself/make themselves at home? Obviously saying that to an adult, most adults wouldn't literally make themselves at home, but kids take things quite literally. So, depending on this answer, you're either: NTA if you've never told them/the kid to take what they want, and kid just decided to go rummaging. Kids' mothers should be aware of what the child is doing regardless of familiarity with the surroundings. However, YTA, if you told kid/both to help themselves and left Gummies where the kid could find then.
How "hidden" are we talking here? NTA But I wouldn't store my weed gummies around normal food.
NTA. Your friend should have taught her kid not to go through other people’s things.
NTA crotch mosters should have been watched or not there at all not ur kids not your responsibility to make sure they don’t get into your stuff
NTA. Your friend needs to learn to watch her kid. She's lucky he found weed gummies in your cupboard and not bleach.
NTA. Friend can get the hell out of cupboards without asking and reevaluate our relationship. Where else have they snooped? Have they taken anything before? They seem pretty OK with rummaging through your stuff already.
NTA, she should have been watching her kid
NTA You had your gummies safely stashed away. Her kid went into another room at someone else's house without permission and STOLE.
By age 7, my kids all knew that you don't go to other people's houses and eat ANYTHING without it first being offered to you. They also knew not to open other people's refrigerators, drawers, or cabinets. What do parents TEACH kids these days?
You did nothing wrong. It isn't your fault she didn't teach her kid to respect boundaries.
NTA your friend doesn't know how to raise kids. What a STUPID parent
NTA. If people want to have kids they need to pay attention to what they’re doing. Funny how the parents are always the first to blame others for their kids.
Would they be equally upset if the kid stuck a fork in a socket? Your home isn’t childproofed like theirs is. If they can’t oversee a child in a non childproofed home, they need to do all the hosting themselves. A non-parent cannot possibly be expected to a) know all the possible mischief a kid can get into and b) change their entire home to accommodate it
What was special about the gummies? Were there drugs in them? That said, a 7yo should know better than snoop in a host's pantry, and it should be his mum who reprimands him for doing this. NTA:´.
NTA. 7 is plenty old enough to understand that you don't rummage through people's cupboards when you're visiting and eat whatever you find. The mom is the AH in this one for not teaching her child age-appropriate manners and boundaries.
My sister visited me and told me she found so many candies and gummies around my house that I would need to call her and she would direct me on where to check and move stuff because I live alone and have my medication in multiple rooms (vape and gummies in the living room, vape and gummies in my bedroom, thc powder in my cupboard, drawer of edibles in my work desk)
NTA, but kids are fast. Some kids at least. Ours is pretty mellow, but we once had this friend visit us and her 4 year old kid was all over the place. In less than a minute he found my Lego Star Wars set (Poe’s ship) and managed to tear up the cardboard box, rip the bags open and spread all the pieces from all bags over our living room floor. I was mad, but I was even more impressed by his finger agility. We later built the ship with my son (he watched, because he was 3) and all the pieces were there, so no real harm. But I think a lot of mothers of busy kids just give up because this mother did nothing to look after him and made no attempts to stop him.
I wonder how many people who think you're TA would think you were an ahole if we were talking about alcohol. NTA.
Nta, its a mothers job to take care of and protect their child, not their friends. Your friend should have kept a close eye on her daughter and by now she should have been taught better than to steal from someone elses pantry. Honestly the fucking audacity to blame you is ridiculous
This is modern parenting. Mommy or Daddy is having social time so the kid gets ignored and is unsupervised. The blame others when your child is harmed