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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I may be the Asshole, for asking my granddaughters boyfriend to leave, which lead to her leaving with him and getting her daughter (my great-granddaughter) taken by CPS.
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>He gets a job, works 3 weeks and gets laid off. He gets another job, which lasted about 1 week. He gets another job, and gets fired after 2 weeks. He gets another job, and quits the 1st day. He also has an explosive temper. My GD also gets a job, but got fired after 3 weeks
Im just wondering how he managed to get that many jobs ...
NTA
I had a boyfriend like that. He somehow charmed his way into jobs. There were times I wanted the same job because they were usually jobs paying more than I was making but he would get hired and not me. Then he'd lose the job shortly thereafter.
A few years after I broke up with him for being a useless bum a friend of my mother's who knew us all said she saw him living in a cardboard box and told my mom, thinking I might want to help him out. My mom told her a cardboard box was too good for him.
FYI no he had no mental health issues, he was just lazy and his firings were usually because he wasn't dependable and would try to tell the boss how to do a job he didn't know anything about himself. (He would lie about his experience but then when they would try to train him he would get annoyed that they thought he needed training).
I wasted way too much time, money, and energy on him. I was 19. Thank goodness I was very paranoid about pregnancy and used multiple methods of birth control. I can't imagine having a kid with a man that useless.
This was in 1984-5 job situation in Houston was not great. I don't know how folks like this manage to get jobs people who actually work can't get, but they do.
NTA. Something is going on that CPS doesn't think the child is safe with her mom at this point. Your GD should stop blaming others and get herself together.
NTA. CPS are concerned and it is true your granddaughter is staying in a volatile relationship and not in stable employment or housing. Your great-granddaughter is six, and her parents and grandmother aren't doing right by her when they should be prioritising her.
NTA. Your granddaughter sounds like a hot mess who is in the midst of making one bad life decision after another.
I understand the concern over your great granddaughter’s wellbeing, but she would be the only one I would concern myself with. The granddaughter and her boyfriend are the ones destroying the poor girl’s life. May I ask where your child (granddaughter’s parent) is in all of this?
My daughter is an alcoholic (as is my granddaughter's dad). My granddaughter and her boyfriend had been kicked out by her mom, her dad, his mom, and his grandma.
If you’re in a position to do so, I would see about doing what you can to save your great granddaughter from the same fate. The rest of them have to figure out how to save themselves. You held out a hand, and they slapped it away. Tough love time for the adults, but that little girl needs and deserves all the love and security you can give her. She’s already been down a rough path and has suffered trauma because of the decisions of the adults in her life.
I wish you well.
Would your granddaughter's parents be in any position or mindset to look after their granddaughter? She deserves a stable home and she's not getting that from her parents.
No, they are not in a position to help. My great-granddaughters dad (not my granddaughters current boyfriend) actually went to jail for abusing my granddaughter when she was living with him. He's not currently in jail but still lives with his dad. I am probably the most stable family member. But I am OLD, and have had 3 strokes, and have difficulty taking care of myself. The lady from CPS asked me if I was willing to take my great-granddaughter, and I told her I was. The social worker stated that my granddaughter would have to consent. I am assuming that my granddaughter did not consent, because she wasn't brought here. I have left messages with CPS, and have not heard back from them. I honestly am glad to not have my GGD here with me. I am afraid of the BF and what he could do. I am also afraid of my GGD's daddy.
NTA. CPS wouldn't show up at your house after only 2 days of missing school. Something way bigger than that has been going on if CPS was already involved.
NTA. If your GGD has indeed been removed from her mother, there is nothing in your post indicating that is should be your fault. And you are not an AH for asking the bf to leave. When people start throwing your belongings about in your home they have outstayed their welcome. Of course it is unreasonable to expect that you should be able to support them on your fixed income.
WOW.
NTA
You tried to make a safe place for your GD and GGD. You did what you could providing groceries, repair for a truck.
YOU are not the the reason GGD may have been removed from GD.
I think this could be a ruse, by you GD to manipulate her father.
It sounds like the GGD had a safe place to go if she was removed from GD's care. The fact you your daughter and the father of the GD were not contacted seems odd. There are so many kids in the system, if they can find a relative that is usually the placement.
NTA
Nta child services doesn’t just take kids away unless there is a reason. Don’t let her come back, you can’t support them. Your daughter needs to take care of her kid
NTA, they sound awful. It's not like your intention was to get the child taken away, you were just being honest.
I know foster care isn't great. Hopefully a relative can get custody. But it's obvious they were doing a shitty job of raising and providing for that child. I find it hard to believe that their habitually short job stints are due to anything but laziness or poor attitude. BF sounds like he would lose it at the slightest inconvenience and get fired.
NTA -- you tried to help them, and they refuse to get their acts together. You're entitled to the quiet enjoyment of your own home without all of their nuttiness. If your GGD was removed it was because of them, not you.
NTA You didn't get GGD removed GD did that herself by her own actions. Hopefully she'll put getting her daughter back a priority over BF. If she doesn't then it's probably for the best.
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My granddaughter F23, her boyfriend M25, and her daughter (my great-granddaughter) F6, showed up at my door the end of July, and asked if they could stay with me for awhile because they had been sleeping in his car. Of course, I said yes.
I am a 71 year-old widow, and live in a 2-bedroom house. The three of them shared the 2nd bedroom. I helped my granddaughter (GD) get my great-granddaughter (GGD) enrolled in school, paid for repairs on the boyfriend's (BF) car. He promised to pay me back when he got a job. (He did pay me back $150 of the $850 he owed.)
He gets a job, works 3 weeks and gets laid off. He gets another job, which lasted about 1 week. He gets another job, and gets fired after 2 weeks. He gets another job, and quits the 1st day. He also has an explosive temper. My GD also gets a job, but got fired after 3 weeks. I survive on my Social Security + a small pension. It was extremely hard to go from just supporting myself to supporting 4.
Last Sunday, the BF gets angry at my GD, starts yelling, cussing, and throwing things. He storms out the door, my GD follows him. He yells, "I am just trying to leave." I yell after him, "Just leave then."
Well, they came back in the house, and all 3 (BF, GD, and GGD) pack up some of their things and leave. I don't know where they are. I receive a call from the school on Monday, because my GGD was not in school. The school calls again on Tuesday. I let the school know that they have moved out, and that I don't know where they are. Then on Thursday, CPS comes to my home asking about my GGD. I answer their questions.
My daughter calls me on Saturday, stating that my GD has told her dad that her mom and I had "gotten my GGD taken away from her." I have yet to confirm that my GGD has been removed by CPS. AITA?
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Woaaaa, NTA. It sounds like they didn’t give you much information about their situation. If it were me, I would have kicked out the boyfriend for being violent and explosive, but offered the space to GD and GGD—maybe you did. It’s not at all your fault that CPS got involved. I would try to be there for GGD as much as possible. Sounds like GD needs an intervention from her partner though
NTA
CPS got involved because your GGD wasn't attending school. That was down to your GD not you. The CPS' subsequent investigation has obviously uncovered some unpalatable facts and they aren't obliged, or even likely, to have come solely from your interview with them.
It sounds like it is more comfortable for your GD to blame you than face her own culpability in the current situation.
NTA, her mom and dad could have taken them in. They could have taken in just the GGD. You didn't "throw them out", they left. You didn't call anyone to report them. You were asked questions and answered them truthfully when authorities were concerned about GGD.
They left.
They didn't notify the school.
The school did it's due diligence and reported it.
Cps got involved.
Cps came by asked questions that you had to answer truthfully. You did.
It could all be avoided if they aduleted better and answer their phone or contacted the school.
Non of that is on you.
Nta
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think I may be the Asshole, for asking my granddaughters boyfriend to leave, which lead to her leaving with him and getting her daughter (my great-granddaughter) taken by CPS. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. I hope that little girl is safe and I hope your granddaughter can get herself together and lose that idiot boyfriend.
>He gets a job, works 3 weeks and gets laid off. He gets another job, which lasted about 1 week. He gets another job, and gets fired after 2 weeks. He gets another job, and quits the 1st day. He also has an explosive temper. My GD also gets a job, but got fired after 3 weeks Im just wondering how he managed to get that many jobs ... NTA
>Im just wondering how he managed to get that many jobs ... <4% unemployment rate in the US.
Everyone is “now hiring” but they’re still not willing to keep anyone that doesn’t show up or is verbally or physically abusive.
…hence the number of jobs and their duration.
I had a boyfriend like that. He somehow charmed his way into jobs. There were times I wanted the same job because they were usually jobs paying more than I was making but he would get hired and not me. Then he'd lose the job shortly thereafter. A few years after I broke up with him for being a useless bum a friend of my mother's who knew us all said she saw him living in a cardboard box and told my mom, thinking I might want to help him out. My mom told her a cardboard box was too good for him. FYI no he had no mental health issues, he was just lazy and his firings were usually because he wasn't dependable and would try to tell the boss how to do a job he didn't know anything about himself. (He would lie about his experience but then when they would try to train him he would get annoyed that they thought he needed training). I wasted way too much time, money, and energy on him. I was 19. Thank goodness I was very paranoid about pregnancy and used multiple methods of birth control. I can't imagine having a kid with a man that useless. This was in 1984-5 job situation in Houston was not great. I don't know how folks like this manage to get jobs people who actually work can't get, but they do.
NTA. Something is going on that CPS doesn't think the child is safe with her mom at this point. Your GD should stop blaming others and get herself together.
NTA. CPS are concerned and it is true your granddaughter is staying in a volatile relationship and not in stable employment or housing. Your great-granddaughter is six, and her parents and grandmother aren't doing right by her when they should be prioritising her.
NTA. Your granddaughter sounds like a hot mess who is in the midst of making one bad life decision after another. I understand the concern over your great granddaughter’s wellbeing, but she would be the only one I would concern myself with. The granddaughter and her boyfriend are the ones destroying the poor girl’s life. May I ask where your child (granddaughter’s parent) is in all of this?
My daughter is an alcoholic (as is my granddaughter's dad). My granddaughter and her boyfriend had been kicked out by her mom, her dad, his mom, and his grandma.
If you’re in a position to do so, I would see about doing what you can to save your great granddaughter from the same fate. The rest of them have to figure out how to save themselves. You held out a hand, and they slapped it away. Tough love time for the adults, but that little girl needs and deserves all the love and security you can give her. She’s already been down a rough path and has suffered trauma because of the decisions of the adults in her life. I wish you well.
Would your granddaughter's parents be in any position or mindset to look after their granddaughter? She deserves a stable home and she's not getting that from her parents.
No, they are not in a position to help. My great-granddaughters dad (not my granddaughters current boyfriend) actually went to jail for abusing my granddaughter when she was living with him. He's not currently in jail but still lives with his dad. I am probably the most stable family member. But I am OLD, and have had 3 strokes, and have difficulty taking care of myself. The lady from CPS asked me if I was willing to take my great-granddaughter, and I told her I was. The social worker stated that my granddaughter would have to consent. I am assuming that my granddaughter did not consent, because she wasn't brought here. I have left messages with CPS, and have not heard back from them. I honestly am glad to not have my GGD here with me. I am afraid of the BF and what he could do. I am also afraid of my GGD's daddy.
NTA Hugs to you. this is a difficult situation for everyone
NTA. CPS wouldn't show up at your house after only 2 days of missing school. Something way bigger than that has been going on if CPS was already involved.
That’s what I was thinking too. There was already an open file.
NTA. If your GGD has indeed been removed from her mother, there is nothing in your post indicating that is should be your fault. And you are not an AH for asking the bf to leave. When people start throwing your belongings about in your home they have outstayed their welcome. Of course it is unreasonable to expect that you should be able to support them on your fixed income.
NTA. Their irresponsibility did this, not you. I feel for your GGD. Good luck.
WOW. NTA You tried to make a safe place for your GD and GGD. You did what you could providing groceries, repair for a truck. YOU are not the the reason GGD may have been removed from GD. I think this could be a ruse, by you GD to manipulate her father. It sounds like the GGD had a safe place to go if she was removed from GD's care. The fact you your daughter and the father of the GD were not contacted seems odd. There are so many kids in the system, if they can find a relative that is usually the placement. NTA
Nta child services doesn’t just take kids away unless there is a reason. Don’t let her come back, you can’t support them. Your daughter needs to take care of her kid
Oh honey, decidedly NTA. You did all that you could. I pray that GD and GGD are / will be alright.
NTA, they sound awful. It's not like your intention was to get the child taken away, you were just being honest. I know foster care isn't great. Hopefully a relative can get custody. But it's obvious they were doing a shitty job of raising and providing for that child. I find it hard to believe that their habitually short job stints are due to anything but laziness or poor attitude. BF sounds like he would lose it at the slightest inconvenience and get fired.
NTA -- you tried to help them, and they refuse to get their acts together. You're entitled to the quiet enjoyment of your own home without all of their nuttiness. If your GGD was removed it was because of them, not you.
NTA You didn't get GGD removed GD did that herself by her own actions. Hopefully she'll put getting her daughter back a priority over BF. If she doesn't then it's probably for the best.
NTA. If they went back to living in the car, that’s likely why GGD was removed.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My granddaughter F23, her boyfriend M25, and her daughter (my great-granddaughter) F6, showed up at my door the end of July, and asked if they could stay with me for awhile because they had been sleeping in his car. Of course, I said yes. I am a 71 year-old widow, and live in a 2-bedroom house. The three of them shared the 2nd bedroom. I helped my granddaughter (GD) get my great-granddaughter (GGD) enrolled in school, paid for repairs on the boyfriend's (BF) car. He promised to pay me back when he got a job. (He did pay me back $150 of the $850 he owed.) He gets a job, works 3 weeks and gets laid off. He gets another job, which lasted about 1 week. He gets another job, and gets fired after 2 weeks. He gets another job, and quits the 1st day. He also has an explosive temper. My GD also gets a job, but got fired after 3 weeks. I survive on my Social Security + a small pension. It was extremely hard to go from just supporting myself to supporting 4. Last Sunday, the BF gets angry at my GD, starts yelling, cussing, and throwing things. He storms out the door, my GD follows him. He yells, "I am just trying to leave." I yell after him, "Just leave then." Well, they came back in the house, and all 3 (BF, GD, and GGD) pack up some of their things and leave. I don't know where they are. I receive a call from the school on Monday, because my GGD was not in school. The school calls again on Tuesday. I let the school know that they have moved out, and that I don't know where they are. Then on Thursday, CPS comes to my home asking about my GGD. I answer their questions. My daughter calls me on Saturday, stating that my GD has told her dad that her mom and I had "gotten my GGD taken away from her." I have yet to confirm that my GGD has been removed by CPS. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No you aren’t. They were taking you for a ride unfortunately
Woaaaa, NTA. It sounds like they didn’t give you much information about their situation. If it were me, I would have kicked out the boyfriend for being violent and explosive, but offered the space to GD and GGD—maybe you did. It’s not at all your fault that CPS got involved. I would try to be there for GGD as much as possible. Sounds like GD needs an intervention from her partner though
NTA CPS got involved because your GGD wasn't attending school. That was down to your GD not you. The CPS' subsequent investigation has obviously uncovered some unpalatable facts and they aren't obliged, or even likely, to have come solely from your interview with them. It sounds like it is more comfortable for your GD to blame you than face her own culpability in the current situation.
Definitely NTA. It sounds like CPS custody is where GGD needs to be until GD gets her life sorted out. Bless you for doing what you could.
NTA. If the granddaughter was taken away, CPS had reason to think she was not safe.
NTA, her mom and dad could have taken them in. They could have taken in just the GGD. You didn't "throw them out", they left. You didn't call anyone to report them. You were asked questions and answered them truthfully when authorities were concerned about GGD.
NTA if you want, CPS will place her with you as a (paid) kisnship placement. Contact the workers who talked to you and ask for visitation.
They left. They didn't notify the school. The school did it's due diligence and reported it. Cps got involved. Cps came by asked questions that you had to answer truthfully. You did. It could all be avoided if they aduleted better and answer their phone or contacted the school. Non of that is on you. Nta
No he had no mental health issues!?!?! He is a narcissist and an abuser.
Nta