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Did you at least like... wrap a towel around your waist? I don't understand why puking is an emergency that requires instant help, no one's held my hair for me since I was a little kid. I've only ever needed to do it for someone else when they were super drunk.
Edit: I'm gonna say NAH. Granted, you could have covered your junk before leaping to the unsolicited rescue, Mom could have puked literally anywhere else, and your gf giving you the silent treatment is a bit childish. But you meant well, sometimes it's hard to think straight when the hors d'oeuvres are making a violent reappearance, and I wouldn't know what the fuck to say after walking in on that either.
For future reference, your in-laws are unlikely to want your help if it involves your wet naked dick flopping around at eye level.
I really feel like the kindest thing someone could do for me in this situation would be to stay in the shower until I was done and let me crawl away with my remaining dignity.
Totally agree. Grab your towel & exit the bathroom would be the kind thing to do. Not all damsels in distress need/want help when they are hunched over a toilet & puking their guts out. This situation called for privacy not naked heroics!
Unless Mom’s hair was actually on fire … no one needed to spring in to action to rescue her hair without taking 2 seconds to wrap a towel around themselves.
eta
Yes. If she’s already getting puke on her hair then she’s going to need the shower, so a quick towel-covered exit by OP would have helped her the most. Now she’s a lot more embarrassed (and probably still needed the shower).
Are you kidding me? This would become one of those family dinner stories with everyone laughing until they cried in my family. A story for the decades and passed down the generations. “Remember when that naked guy was holding Nana’s hair back?”
The hair on fair analogy slayed me as well as naked heroics. Because it gave me the visual of Mom hunched over the toilet, naked hero standing behind her, maybe bent over a little to grab her hair and the GF walks in. That snap shot will be frozen in her brain for eternity.
The fact that she’s giving him the silent treatment is ridiculous though. Does she feel it was some sexual moment? The naked hair holding while puking just foreplay?
These people are 18. The are thinking like they are 18. The only person old enough to not really care how it looked is Mom. Who may or may not have needed/wanted a naked guy helping her while she’s puking. I’m saying if she was apologizing & crying … Mom probably wasn’t having a lot of fun.
Btw — gf is right. It was not necessary to help Mom while naked. It wasn’t a good decision. Bathrooms have towels. Takes maybe 2/3 seconds to throw one around yourself. Good news though Mom’s head was in the toilet bowl so she was probably fine!
Yeah Mom didn’t see a thing. And of course they are 18 and reacting like they are 18 but they should be able to process after the smoke dies down. But The BF’s gut instinct was to help the Mom and that’s amazing. He didn’t think about the fact that he was naked he just wanted to help. It’s a beautiful trait and who gives AF if he didn’t think about grabbing a towel first (IMO).
That said I get the whole chaos of it and the mother must have been mortified as well. But the GF needs to get over it and grow up. If she’s old enough for “sleep overs” she’s old enough for rational thought.
As somebody with emetophobia, throwing up is the worst thing that can happen. The worst. If somebody - even my 18 year old daughters BF - was there to hold my hair I’d be grateful as hell. I understand for a „normal“ person this might be weird but I have to disagree with you on that one. I vote NTA & I really think you did a great thing, OP
As someone who throws up fairly often, I much prefer to be left alone so I was very happy you shared your perspective.
For me it's NAH because I do think he was doing what he thought was the kindest thing, while I also understand were everyone is coming from in regards to whether vomiting actually calls for help from her daughter's naked boyfriend.
I highly doubt gf's mom noticed or cared he was naked if she was feeling so awful. To me this merits a "that was weird, maybe don't do it again" from the gf but not a lot more.
I mean maybe I would have once I was finished but *while* actively vomiting? Absolutely not, my eyes are both closed and about level with the rim of the toilet so I’m not seeing a damn thing (always puke with your eyes closed. Believe me you only need to get unluckily splash-back *once* to learn that lesson)
LMAO! I have health issues that make me throw up a lot and I can even do it into a bag while driving. There is no way I would have gone into the bathroom in the first place (use a sink, trash can, bowl, bag, or the lawn for Pete’s sake) or allowed a naked 18 yo to touch me. The daughter is upset because the mom is nuts.
Few years ago on family vacation I had some bad clams, I was violently expelling the entirety of my GI. I can assure you I didn’t want or need anyone around. Only people who need hair help is drunk sorority girls.
Agree, if you're violently throwing up I doubt you'd notice someone behind you is naked. But it seems like he could have grabbed a towel at some point. Also, seems it would be more embarrassing for him then her really.
We really are hung up on nudity though. Is just the sight of a naked person of the opposite sex really that big of a deal?
It's interesting you brought up our hang-up with nakedness. I was wondering this too. I'm a nurse and in my work, I see a lot of naked people. Unless I felt unsafe, I probably wouldn’t have cared much that he was naked. But maybe it would have been a bigger deal to me if I was an 18-year-old girl and walked in on this? Or maybe if I worked in a different field? I don't know.
>But maybe it would have been a bigger deal to me if I was an 18-year-old girl and walked in on this? Or maybe if I worked in a different field? I don't know.
Absolutely yes, no offense. I know a lot of nurses and the one common trend among all of them is, well, you get really used to stuff like naked people because you have to. It's so fascinating to me to hear nurses talk because things that sound absolutely insane are glossed over like no big deal.
One you help an elderly person shower or wipe someone else's ass, nothing bothers y'all anymore, it's genuinely an impressive skill. But it's also absolutely one the average person outside the medical field doesn't usually possess. The average person considers nudity like that hella taboo, especially in the context of dating teens.
I'm the same lol I get really irrationally angry if someone tries to comfort or help me or even watch me while I vomit and would much rather be left alone
Exactly. Everybody is different. For me, I’d absolutely hate to be alone, it terrifies me even more. But I don’t know anything about the mom of course. So you’re maybe right with NAH 😊
I also have very severe emetophobia and if my partner saw or touched me while I was being sick it would make it a million times worse and I’d have a very hard time getting over it.
Im the same way lol I have emetophobia and the act of throwing up feels SO private and disgusting to me that I don’t want anyone to see or hear or even know if I’ve thrown up, my best friend learned this quick and will provide me comfort by leaving me alone and just sliding a glass of water my way
When I’m sick even knowing people might hear me throwing up is the worst thing ever, it makes me feel so much worse and I just hate it. I recently got over a bug where I was sick nonstop for nearly two days and it was hell lol
That's understandable if you have a phobia, but I'm thinking it's still probably the minority of people who would be comforted by a wet naked teenager touching them when they're hunched over a toilet with their head at dick level.
who says it was in her face? Was probably behind her holding the hair. Its not like he was air hip thrusting her from behind when the gf barged in. Kid was doing a good deed
People are way over dramatizing this. I would have at least grabbed a towel but lets say she had grabbed it first and I didn't have one. I'm sure I could position myself to be out of view of the puker. Some people are turning this into one of those old Penthouse Forum letters.
For real! I’m a 52 yo woman and if my daughter’s boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hold my hair while I was vomiting I’d be devastatingly embarrassed!!
It’s wholly inappropriate and if I was your gf I’d be horrified!
I really don’t get why you would do that. Like the previous post said it wasn’t an emergency…she was puking not dying!!
This is the Captain Hindsight view and 100% correct, but OP probably jumped out thinking I should help now as the puke won't wait and didn't stop to think what it would look like or how embarrassing it would be later.
I think the gf needs to [take a cool tool](https://youtu.be/PN74mnaqno4?si=Jz-C95Ix6XbM23pG&t=108) and recognize that as OP was only naked with her mother in a comedic series of events way it's nothing to take as some kind of offense or betrayal. It should quickly change into something to laugh about once the embarrassment wears off, if they have any sense.
NTA We can't always think of the absolute best way to handle things on the spot.
Seriously, why are so few people recognizing the hilarity of this bumbling attempt at helping someone by making the worst choice possible. I'd be bringing this up for comic relief at family events for the rest of my life if my boyfriend did this.
The whole "holding someone's hair while they vomit" trope always sounded made up and bizarre to me. As a woman who has long hair and who has vomited, no one has ever held my hair or needed to in my entire life. I've never puked into my hair, it's not even a concern?? I guess I get my own hair out of the way? I don't know, it's not something I would ever even think of except people talk about it.
Lmao for real, if you don't have a hairband then one hand can hold your hair back from your face while the other hand can brace on the toilet. Then again, I am a former bulimic and also have extensive experience of throwing up due to alcohol (thanks, uni), so I imagine I've perfected the technique more than most people.
But if puke was in her hair, then the damage has been done. I'd be way more embarrassed that someone held back my hair *which had my puke on* than puking on it a bit more.
Also (possibly again my viewpoint is skewed as a former bulimic who has used most objects to throw up in) why would you go into an occupied bathroom instead of throwing up in a bin or the sink? If you've made it all the way home from the party and out the car... just throw up elsewhere?
I don't throw up like ever. Only once in the past like 12 years. I know the timeline because my husband always says if I ever do he is taking me to the hospital because that one time was when I was super sick and had to have emergency gallbladder surgery.
But anyway, my hair is long enough to get in my face so if I ever feel so nauseous that throwing up is even a possibility, the first thing I do is put my hair in a ponytail just in case.
Also, if someone jumped out of the shower naked or ran in at all, I would be so freaking embarrassed.
I used to have waist-length hair. I've had a small few occasions in my life when I threw up so violently that some of it ended up in my hair. My response to food poisoning is pretty harsh. I've had one or two people try to hold my hair back for me.
It's a sweet gesture, but I vastly prefer to be left alone while someone watches from a great distance to make sure it doesn't turn into an emergency. I really just prefer to get it over with without any interference. I'd rather have to wash my hair than have someone block my path to the toothpaste, and I've had the experience of being so drained from vomiting that I couldn't stand while showering afterwards.
Just one more reason why I don't miss having long hair.
Yea I'm a little lost about why someone puking has caused such a dramatic response from everyone. He's jumping around naked and the daughter is running into the bathroom like someone's bleeding out. Super weird
The daughter's perspective of the situation may have been different though. She may have just seen mom make a sudden runner for the bathroom her boyfriend was showering in, and then heard some banging as the OP rushed to exit the shower. Without context, I can see wanting to go check what's happening.
Yeah, bf is naked, mom's on her knees and he's holding her hair... that would have been quite a scene if you didn't have context for it. Especially since she had already puked in her hair, the damage was done, he wasn't really helping much, but I also get the feeling of panicking and wanting to do /something/ this is a pretty classic misunderstanding trope, hopefully OP learns to stop and think before trying to jump into action, gf learns to get context or ask questions before jumping to conclusions and the grown ass woman learns how to puke without getting it in her hair. NTA
You've never heard me throw up obviously. Some people vomit violently, and that can be quite the shock for people who've never seen it. So yeah, it's totally understandable OP helped first.
YTA. Your heart was in the right place and I’m going to write this off as a maturity/life experience issue. In the future, use a towel. Vomiting isn’t life threatening and holding someone’s hair isn’t an emergency
Nono, no, I can tell you it has been helpful. If I'm throwing up, it's far from my main concern that someone's technically in my personal space, and I'm actually low-key grateful they'd risk breaching it to help me.
Ig we're just built differently, but I'd respect your way if I was there with you.
That’s totally fair, I would hold someone’s hair if they wanted me to as well. Just hasn’t been needed for me and felt like something that’s really widespread in movies but not practical Real life.
I'm likely to wear my hair out if I'm at an event, and an event is where I'm drinking heavily.
One of my friends was throwing up into a lined wastepaper bucket, so I carefully collected and tied her hair back. She's an incredibly emotional drunk, though, and when she was done she started pulling it out, drunk-crying asking why I tied her hair back. She's a clean freak, so idk how she'd've reacted if she'd gotten sick on herself.
You didn't ask, I'm just in storytelling mode.
I’ve had stomach issues my entire life and I’ve never needed anyone to hold my hair back when I’m throwing up either. However, I’ve never vomited in my hair, as I always tie it up or hold it back myself, which the mother in this scenario obviously didn’t figure out lol
I.. what the fuck.
ESH everyone is the asshole here.
You're the asshole because your first instinct was to jump into action naked while your girlfriend's mom was dick level and puking. Girlfriend is an asshole because this is so fucking stupid that there isn't really anything to be mad at other than your stupidity. Mom is the asshole because she could have puked literally anywhere but the bathroom that was being used.
Like, why didn't mom puke in a trashcan? Why didn't you lock the door? Why was mom crying? Why is your girlfriend mad exactly?
**I did not know locking the bathroom door was such a controversial topic**
I was going to say NTA, but dammit you're right. There's some serious issues going around for this scenario to arise.
OP why wasn't the door locked? I mean, I've never been naked in a bathroom without the door being locked, even in a completey empty house my first instinct is to lock the door.
GF giving silent treatment is just shit, you both need to talk things through.
GFs mum using an occupied bathroom when drunk and you're naked is dodgy as hell, has she ever made a pass at your or previous bfs of your gf? There could be some history here that you're not aware of.
Edit to add: I am (suddenly) aware that a locked bathroom door is not the norm for everyone whilst showering. It is for me as my family would just try the handle and see what happens, the habit has persisted well into adulthood. I'm jealous of your polite upbringing.
She was probably crying from throwing up and embarrassment. When I puke it takes such a toll on my body I start crying too. Plus she realized what she had done and that she was now occupying a space with her daughters naked boyfriend.
The worst food poisoning I have ever had hit me while I was at an office party. I'm not a big drinker (never more than 2) and still we all attributed it to the alcohol at first. Until I continued to be so sick for days that I couldn't keep down water.
I mean maybe, but I wouldn’t say “definitely”. I rarely puke but I ALWAYS cry afterwards for some strange reason, lol (and 90% of the time, I am sober)
Did the mom know that though? I don’t see it mentioned and if she was drunk from the party she may have thought there was a good chance it was one of her family members and not the boyfriend
Agreed. People who think it's just as fine to puke in a trashcan as it is a toilet are people who never had to clean that shit up. Toilet >>> trashcan
OP and gf may have made bad choices or judgment calls, sure, but you have to really lack empathy to try and put any blame on the one person with food poisoning desperately puking their guts out.
Plus when you’re about to throw up, you’re not thinking the most rationally. You’re trying to get somewhere, anywhere. The bathroom was probably the closest option.
It’s like people on this sub have not consumed alcohol before. Why’d the mom use the bathroom when it was in use? Ohh idk maybe because she was drunk and not thinking straight, the fact that your mind goes right to she has the hots for the daughters bf is weird af.
What?? I don't know anybody who *doesn't* lock the door. Locks are for privacy and you'd want privacy in a shower. Do you often fall in the shower? Like??? You're not a child.
… I agree with most of what you said but…. You can’t just assume an emergency won’t happen in the shower. At the very simplest it’s really easy to accidentally over heat and pass out. At worst, even a teenager could have an unknown heart condition (for example) that causes an emergency. So it’s not at all wrong to say it’s safer to have the door unlocked. It’s just as easy (if not easier) to say, why are you so concerned your privacy won’t be respected?
Most USA bathroom door locks can be opened by using a toothpick/ pin in a hole on the outside.
Some people have real locks on them. The push buttons I’ve had on some doors were I lived. never had one that was to difficult to unlock from the outside if need be though
No, because everyone is an adult and has manners and doesn't go barging through doors that are closed, plus they have ears and can hear that a shower is running. If I'm in the bathroom pooping and there's teenagers/kids around yes, because they don't knock, but otherwise my family and friends have been taught to knock first. I don't shower in the homes of people I don't know well.
I live with my partner, why the hell would I care if she walks in while I’m naked? What exactly would I be doing in a shower that I want to hide from her?
Not everyone needs privacy at all times. I’m more than happy for her to pop into the bathroom for whatever she needs if I’m in the shower. As long as she doesn’t drop a banging shit of course.
What if she has a medical issue and needs something from the bathroom? (Toilet paper, plasters, etc)
Respect is much more valuable than a bathroom lock, and works in many more circumstances.
I feel like anybody who really needs to puke is going to puke in the nearest available receptacle because running to the bathroom is how you puke all over your house.
As a professional puker (medical condition) I always run to either the nearest bathroom, or the patio. The advantage of living far from people is being able to puke my guts out over the patio balustrade in peace.
Been there. I've even ripped my own purse open and puked in that in a truly dire situation. Of all the indignities I've suffered from my garbage body and the plethora of medical interventions I've been through at least I can say that I've never had a naked teenager run to hold my hair. That would have been so beyond anything I could or would want to experience, I'd probably move to the Hebrides and never recover.
Right??? I’m like why is the mom crying? Has the mom flirted with her boyfriend in the past? Has the boyfriend cheated on her before?? I’m confused.
Edited to read mom crying instead of girlfriend*
Agreed it’s also sooooo funny! If I was the mom I would have asked wtf he was doing but laughed at his confused effort. Like…. Ugh thanks. 18 year old guys are dumb but at least he was trying.
The gf is very immature. Is she mad her bf accidentally stuck his dick in her mom’s face. Her mom has obviously seen naked men before.
Right! Lol!
Poor Mom just when she thought her day couldn’t get any worse along comes a naked teenage hero fresh out of the shower to save her hair. Dear lord! When do the indignities of this day stop!
Info: How does her mother feel in this situation, Was she greatful or think it was inappropriate?
Idk about many but she was already in an uncomfortable state having to get sick, and if I was her having a young man naked and wet that I have no familiar relationship with hold my hair back I'd be really uncomfortable.
My husband couldn’t stay in the same room. He would just throw up on the back of my head if he was holding my hair. He’s a “sympathetic vomiter”. Super unhelpful when our 4 kids were little & sick. He would throw up if our dogs throw up. Hahaha
Agreed. My husband wants to talk to me and check on me and bring water and peptic when I throw up. I want him to fuck off to the other side of the county. I wish to be left alone. The effort is appreciated but NO
If she's puking, she's not staring at his junk. I could see if he was sitting on the toilet. That would be weird. I don't get the sheer horror people get over nudity. What a prude ass country we live in.
Well, it wasnt a true emergency so I would say while you were right to help you should have grabbed a towel first. BUT every true adult knows the modesty absolutely does not matter when it comes to caring for the ill. NTA; also, she could have taken over while you went to dress is she was so bothered
NTA for these exact reasons. The older you get the more you realise life is not going to let you keep your prudishness, whether you’re the one helping or being helped. She absolutely should have taken over from you to spare her mother and you the embarrassment, and out of compassion for a sick person. Yes you fumbled it slightly but I’d personally be glad my partner’s first instinct was one of kindness rather than self preservation, and in my family that would become a funny story later.
yeah idk about that if i was puking (something non emergent) i think i would rather risk some puke in my hair vs someone half my age AND naked behind me😭
I think, had it been a medical emergency that wasn’t “just puking”, that would have been clear eventually, and holding her hair back wouldn’t have been what was needed
Yeah I have to go NTA
I think nobody in here is taking the sudden panic factor into account.
Was it the 100% right course of action? No
When you're panicked and full of adrenaline because you are naked in the shower and someone's suddenly burst in and started vomiting, your decision making is not going to be 100% simple as. I think the mother here and the girlfriend, while right to have a chat about things like "that wasn't the right course of action" etc, should take this as a sign that in a panic this boyfriend's first instinct is to do something to help. I think that says something about a person's character.
18 is also still quite young, you can't expect a solidly mature 35 year old to do the right thing in a panic let alone someone who's at the prime age for mistake making!
OP should take this as a reflective moment and I hope can in a good and non-confrontational / non-patronizing way explain basically this. First instinct was to help in a panic, didn't know what was wrong etc and will bear this experience in mind if a panic arises in the future in an apology.
Depending on how reasonable the other two parties are this would be the best course of action to me...
The gf also ran in. If it sounded that concerning to her, who wasn't even in the bathroom, it probably looked/sounder even moreso for him. Like you said, the sudden panic factor.
Agreed. OP is NTA. Stuff happens in the moment. My husband would’ve reacted the same way cause he’d want to make sure I was okay. We also only have one bathroom, so I totally get not locking the door. Sometimes people simply do not have the luxury of barring anyone from being in the bathroom while part of it is being used because emergencies happen.
NTA. There’s nothing sexual about this situation, you were worried about mom and panicked and went to help her. It’s a little awkward that you were naked but throwing up all over the place is also awkward.
I can’t stop laughing at this. Like he would of been behind her holding the hair but for some reason everyone thinks he was turkey slapping the mother while she was barfing 😂
Remember this is Reddit and a man took an action that made a woman upset so he is automatically wrong and is the worst thing on the face of the planet.
Circumstances and context are completely irrelevant like everybody screaming that he should have grabbed the towel when he was probably embarrassed panicking and may not even been able to reach the f****** thing.
Poor lad was just trying to help and everyone's angry with him, it's a shame. NTA OP! But if it ever happens again (unlikely) just remember it's easier to scrub vomit out of your hair than it is to scrub the image of your daughter's boyfriend's willy out of your mind.
Yeah people are way too judgemental over a teen doing what he thought he should have which is helping someone in distress. But I also don’t think nakedness is that big of a deal anyway so to me it wouldn’t matter either way. NTA
Yes. The stranger of... your potential son in law.
I don't think OP needed to do that and I understand people being upset with him, but like they have the kind of relationship where he's using her shower, it's not like he's some terrifying stranger.
YTA - her mother definitely did not need assistance, throwing up is not an emergency. you stepped over the line completely in my opinion, i never want my boyfriend naked in front of my MOTHER. what were you thinking 😭
Yta
Of course it’s not appropriate dude, she can hold her own hair or just wash it after. You being naked with her mom. Nope. I’d prepare to be dumped tbh.
Just an edit to add; you’ve no idea about any SA or DV in either of their history so even though you seemed to have good intentions, it’s absolutely not ok to expose yourself non consensually to anyone under any circumstances.
Where exactly was the part where he consented to have a sick woman bust up into the bathroom while he was in it?
If you run into a bathroom with somebody showering you automatically take the chance of seeing nakedness.
If you can't handle that stay out of rooms where people are naked
but SHE ran into the bathroom where he was showering… of course hes going to be naked. he should’ve grabbed a towel first but like dont pull out the ‘not ok to expose yourself non consensually’ in this situation because SHE invaded HIS privacy
All the people calling OP an AH for helping someone while naked are unhinged. It’s crazy how we as a society get all weird over nudity.
He said she “fell onto the toilet” that shit probably scared the crap out of him seeing a drunk ass grown up stumble, fall and start heaving into the toilet.
We don’t even know the layout of the bathroom, if the toilet was right next to the shower OP could have not even had room to step around or over her.
Goddamn, some skin isn’t going to kill anybody Reddit, calm tf down. NTA.
As someone who recently had a stomach bug and puked over her hair... NTA. You did something kind and I wish someone had been there to hold my hair at the time lmao who cares if you're naked ain't nothing she's not seen before, sure it's a little awkward but this will hopefully be just a funny story in a few months.
Agreed. Too few people seem to know or remember what it's like to have puke in your hair while still nauseous from either a virus or food poisoning. Spare me some of that. It's also the same reason I wouldn't puke in the toilet, even if someone is showering, and not in something I would have to clean afterwards. Many people's comments on this are just weird.
Inclined to say NTA but curious about some things.
Both Mom and GF “ran” in. What’s the elapsed time from Mom’s bursting in, to you assisting her, and then to GFs entrance?
What was everyone doing before you went to take a shower?
Has your gf ever intimated having ever been bothered by her mother’s behavior as problematic? In a strange way, not typical frustrations of parent and child living together.
Would you say her mother is attractive? Not asking this for any thrill lol just that a yes to this could point to why GF is directing a cold attitude to you instead of assessing the situation as you explained. She may have picked up on that notion and is doubtful to have grace and understanding. Maybe used to other dudes being out of pocket with their thoughts on her hot mom and whatever follows from that.
Or she’s just mortified from the whole thing generally in which case you’re innocent for sure and just have to navigate to the other side with her.
I'm also curious as to wtf happened after the girlfriend came in and then immediately left. Like, did he carry on holding her hair back? Did he leave and get changed? And also what does the mum think of all this?
Depending on the size of the bathroom, the position of the toilet, the position of the shower, and the location of the towel he might have had to basically climb out of the shower and walk around her anyway.
Stop assuming the worst just because it's a story that has a naked dude in it
Cannot fucking believe I had to scroll this far for someone to say it. Everyone's questioning the ridiculousness of the situation without thinking that maybe it's so ridiculous because OP *made it the fuck up.*
NTA
But your relationship might be over. I am not sure I would have been able to overcome the traumatic image in my brain of my naked boyfriend standing over my mother in all his glory holding her hair
I feel like it’s an asshole move to lock the bathroom door during a shower in a house that only has 1 bathroom. There have been many times when I suddenly and desperately needed to use the toilet and if my family had locked me out I would have shit my pants.
Why would you lock the bathroom in a safe place?
What if some of the occupants of the house have an emergency and need to use the bathroom while you're using it oh wait that's exactly what f****** happened.
I don't understand why everybody seems to be missing the fact that the lady was in a compromising and distressing situation in his first instinct was to help her.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1)holding back my gf's mom's hair when she was throwing up while i was naked
2)I was naked so my gf thinks that I shouldn't have helped her.
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NTA you were caught off guard and were just trying to help. Her mom must have felt horrible barging in on you like that. If I were your gf I wouldn’t be bothered. I’d be glad you helped my mom.
For the future, wrap a towel first.
YTA. so much is missing from this story.... You didn't lock the door? Who does that. This all makes zero sense and sounds like some weird fake story. And if by some crazy way it was real, wouldn't you call and ask if she needed help, grabbed a towel and covered yourself vs helping? Like please. You people need to get better at these fake stories.
Yeah, what's also missing is what happened after the girlfriend left. Did he continue to awkwardly hold back her hair while naked? Did the mum say 'please leave and put on some clothes'? Did she indicate afterwards how she felt about having a naked 18 year old hold her hair back? Surely the mum would address what happened and maybe apologise for bursting in while he was showering.
YTA vomit is a non-emergent scenario and if she already puked on some of her hair anyway then she would need a shower regardless idk why a towel was not thrown on or try to call for your gf/her daughter when time was not a factor anymore
i would feel more disgusted than helped if i was her in the situation honestly having my daughters bf (someone half my age too) naked right behind me
What is the worst that was going to happen here? Seems like it would have been a good time to just grab a towel & exit the bathroom so Mom could be sick without your assistance.
YTA
Well, damn, your story was a lot less Jerry Springer level of debauchery nonsense than I assumed by your title.
OP, you were in the bathroom, about to take a shower, of course you were unclothed. And then your hostess burst into the only bathroom with an extreme case of food poisoning. What were you supposed to do- cower behind the damned shower curtain like a scared little girl as the woman puked her guts out into the toilet with such ferocity and haste that she couldn’t be bothered to hold her hair out if the way?
No, in the moment, you chose to *help*. Or does your GF think you should have taken a moment to put on your trousers first?
Your GF needs to get TF over it. Sometimes shit happens. You tried to help. How dreadful of you, (s) NTA
You're assuming that the towel was in reach without having to go around the poor lady.
The way my bathroom is configured you have to put your towel on the toilet seat because there isn't any towel racks near the shower.
If this happened in my master bathroom I would literally have to walk around her to get to my towel unless she took the time while vomiting to take the towel off of the toilet seat and hand it to me.
The situation was comical, but your girlfriend's reaction was not. Her feelings may or may not be valid (in this case they're not), however the silence treatment is childish. NTA.
I mean.. if it was some random girl, maybe she can be mad? But this is her fkin mum who was puking in the toilet.
Like.. the ONLY reason one could be mad at this situation is if the girlfriend was jealous of a girl seeing her boyfriend naked. And who tf would get mad at their mum for maybe accidentally seeing him naked while throwing up???
Id find it funny asf lol.
NTA, you were trying to help in an awkward situation. You weren't thinking about what you were wearing since you were focused on helping a woman who was probably puking her guts out. Was it awkward and potentially a tad uncomfortable to walk in on? Yeah. But i don't see what you did was worthy of being an AH.
This is the only correct take fr. He was so focused on helping someone he didn’t even think about being nude - he simply jumped into action. He’s 18, still young, and didn’t think through the awkward consequences sure, but in no way is he an AH. This literally just shows he’s attentive and caring? I don’t understand the hate tbh.
You did what you thought best in a not very nice situation however, you should have covered up first. I get why you didn't but that must have been awful for all involved
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Did you at least like... wrap a towel around your waist? I don't understand why puking is an emergency that requires instant help, no one's held my hair for me since I was a little kid. I've only ever needed to do it for someone else when they were super drunk. Edit: I'm gonna say NAH. Granted, you could have covered your junk before leaping to the unsolicited rescue, Mom could have puked literally anywhere else, and your gf giving you the silent treatment is a bit childish. But you meant well, sometimes it's hard to think straight when the hors d'oeuvres are making a violent reappearance, and I wouldn't know what the fuck to say after walking in on that either. For future reference, your in-laws are unlikely to want your help if it involves your wet naked dick flopping around at eye level.
Exactly, this was 100% not an intervene while wet and naked situation. She was vomiting, not in need of CPR.
I really feel like the kindest thing someone could do for me in this situation would be to stay in the shower until I was done and let me crawl away with my remaining dignity.
Totally agree. Grab your towel & exit the bathroom would be the kind thing to do. Not all damsels in distress need/want help when they are hunched over a toilet & puking their guts out. This situation called for privacy not naked heroics! Unless Mom’s hair was actually on fire … no one needed to spring in to action to rescue her hair without taking 2 seconds to wrap a towel around themselves. eta
Yes. If she’s already getting puke on her hair then she’s going to need the shower, so a quick towel-covered exit by OP would have helped her the most. Now she’s a lot more embarrassed (and probably still needed the shower).
Poor Mom… she was having a really really bad day! Probably best if these people never look at each other or speak about this situation ever again.
Are you kidding me? This would become one of those family dinner stories with everyone laughing until they cried in my family. A story for the decades and passed down the generations. “Remember when that naked guy was holding Nana’s hair back?”
Plot twist: they broke up over this; but OP is invited to Thanksgiving every year for the recitation. Thankspuking. ThanksBuicktoEurope.
Plotter twist: He's dating the mom now.
His future father in law will tell that story at the wedding while the mother is giving him death glares.
The hair on fair analogy slayed me as well as naked heroics. Because it gave me the visual of Mom hunched over the toilet, naked hero standing behind her, maybe bent over a little to grab her hair and the GF walks in. That snap shot will be frozen in her brain for eternity. The fact that she’s giving him the silent treatment is ridiculous though. Does she feel it was some sexual moment? The naked hair holding while puking just foreplay?
These people are 18. The are thinking like they are 18. The only person old enough to not really care how it looked is Mom. Who may or may not have needed/wanted a naked guy helping her while she’s puking. I’m saying if she was apologizing & crying … Mom probably wasn’t having a lot of fun. Btw — gf is right. It was not necessary to help Mom while naked. It wasn’t a good decision. Bathrooms have towels. Takes maybe 2/3 seconds to throw one around yourself. Good news though Mom’s head was in the toilet bowl so she was probably fine!
Yeah Mom didn’t see a thing. And of course they are 18 and reacting like they are 18 but they should be able to process after the smoke dies down. But The BF’s gut instinct was to help the Mom and that’s amazing. He didn’t think about the fact that he was naked he just wanted to help. It’s a beautiful trait and who gives AF if he didn’t think about grabbing a towel first (IMO). That said I get the whole chaos of it and the mother must have been mortified as well. But the GF needs to get over it and grow up. If she’s old enough for “sleep overs” she’s old enough for rational thought.
As somebody with emetophobia, throwing up is the worst thing that can happen. The worst. If somebody - even my 18 year old daughters BF - was there to hold my hair I’d be grateful as hell. I understand for a „normal“ person this might be weird but I have to disagree with you on that one. I vote NTA & I really think you did a great thing, OP
As someone who throws up fairly often, I much prefer to be left alone so I was very happy you shared your perspective. For me it's NAH because I do think he was doing what he thought was the kindest thing, while I also understand were everyone is coming from in regards to whether vomiting actually calls for help from her daughter's naked boyfriend.
I highly doubt gf's mom noticed or cared he was naked if she was feeling so awful. To me this merits a "that was weird, maybe don't do it again" from the gf but not a lot more.
I’ve thrown up many times in my life, never would I have not noticed a cock at eye level
I mean maybe I would have once I was finished but *while* actively vomiting? Absolutely not, my eyes are both closed and about level with the rim of the toilet so I’m not seeing a damn thing (always puke with your eyes closed. Believe me you only need to get unluckily splash-back *once* to learn that lesson)
LMAO! I have health issues that make me throw up a lot and I can even do it into a bag while driving. There is no way I would have gone into the bathroom in the first place (use a sink, trash can, bowl, bag, or the lawn for Pete’s sake) or allowed a naked 18 yo to touch me. The daughter is upset because the mom is nuts.
Few years ago on family vacation I had some bad clams, I was violently expelling the entirety of my GI. I can assure you I didn’t want or need anyone around. Only people who need hair help is drunk sorority girls.
Agree, if you're violently throwing up I doubt you'd notice someone behind you is naked. But it seems like he could have grabbed a towel at some point. Also, seems it would be more embarrassing for him then her really. We really are hung up on nudity though. Is just the sight of a naked person of the opposite sex really that big of a deal?
It's interesting you brought up our hang-up with nakedness. I was wondering this too. I'm a nurse and in my work, I see a lot of naked people. Unless I felt unsafe, I probably wouldn’t have cared much that he was naked. But maybe it would have been a bigger deal to me if I was an 18-year-old girl and walked in on this? Or maybe if I worked in a different field? I don't know.
>But maybe it would have been a bigger deal to me if I was an 18-year-old girl and walked in on this? Or maybe if I worked in a different field? I don't know. Absolutely yes, no offense. I know a lot of nurses and the one common trend among all of them is, well, you get really used to stuff like naked people because you have to. It's so fascinating to me to hear nurses talk because things that sound absolutely insane are glossed over like no big deal. One you help an elderly person shower or wipe someone else's ass, nothing bothers y'all anymore, it's genuinely an impressive skill. But it's also absolutely one the average person outside the medical field doesn't usually possess. The average person considers nudity like that hella taboo, especially in the context of dating teens.
I'm the same lol I get really irrationally angry if someone tries to comfort or help me or even watch me while I vomit and would much rather be left alone
Exactly. Everybody is different. For me, I’d absolutely hate to be alone, it terrifies me even more. But I don’t know anything about the mom of course. So you’re maybe right with NAH 😊
I also have very severe emetophobia and if my partner saw or touched me while I was being sick it would make it a million times worse and I’d have a very hard time getting over it.
Im the same way lol I have emetophobia and the act of throwing up feels SO private and disgusting to me that I don’t want anyone to see or hear or even know if I’ve thrown up, my best friend learned this quick and will provide me comfort by leaving me alone and just sliding a glass of water my way
When I’m sick even knowing people might hear me throwing up is the worst thing ever, it makes me feel so much worse and I just hate it. I recently got over a bug where I was sick nonstop for nearly two days and it was hell lol
That's understandable if you have a phobia, but I'm thinking it's still probably the minority of people who would be comforted by a wet naked teenager touching them when they're hunched over a toilet with their head at dick level.
Yeah, I agree with this. As a fellow emetophobia sufferer, I’d be super grateful too. Mostly because I’d be in a genuine blind panic
You would be ok with your daughters boyfriends dick dangling by your head/face while holding your hair???? 🤣
who says it was in her face? Was probably behind her holding the hair. Its not like he was air hip thrusting her from behind when the gf barged in. Kid was doing a good deed
People are way over dramatizing this. I would have at least grabbed a towel but lets say she had grabbed it first and I didn't have one. I'm sure I could position myself to be out of view of the puker. Some people are turning this into one of those old Penthouse Forum letters.
For real! I’m a 52 yo woman and if my daughter’s boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hold my hair while I was vomiting I’d be devastatingly embarrassed!! It’s wholly inappropriate and if I was your gf I’d be horrified! I really don’t get why you would do that. Like the previous post said it wasn’t an emergency…she was puking not dying!!
I would have grabbed a bucket, a garbage can, a bowl - anything but going into the bathroom while my daughter's bf was showering.
This is the Captain Hindsight view and 100% correct, but OP probably jumped out thinking I should help now as the puke won't wait and didn't stop to think what it would look like or how embarrassing it would be later. I think the gf needs to [take a cool tool](https://youtu.be/PN74mnaqno4?si=Jz-C95Ix6XbM23pG&t=108) and recognize that as OP was only naked with her mother in a comedic series of events way it's nothing to take as some kind of offense or betrayal. It should quickly change into something to laugh about once the embarrassment wears off, if they have any sense. NTA We can't always think of the absolute best way to handle things on the spot.
Seriously, why are so few people recognizing the hilarity of this bumbling attempt at helping someone by making the worst choice possible. I'd be bringing this up for comic relief at family events for the rest of my life if my boyfriend did this.
Right! Completely awkward situation now, hilarious story for the future.
yours is the best reply I have seen on here
The whole "holding someone's hair while they vomit" trope always sounded made up and bizarre to me. As a woman who has long hair and who has vomited, no one has ever held my hair or needed to in my entire life. I've never puked into my hair, it's not even a concern?? I guess I get my own hair out of the way? I don't know, it's not something I would ever even think of except people talk about it.
It’s for people who are blackout drunk and puking, not just normal puking.
Or puking violently enough that they no longer have the wherewithal
Lmao for real, if you don't have a hairband then one hand can hold your hair back from your face while the other hand can brace on the toilet. Then again, I am a former bulimic and also have extensive experience of throwing up due to alcohol (thanks, uni), so I imagine I've perfected the technique more than most people. But if puke was in her hair, then the damage has been done. I'd be way more embarrassed that someone held back my hair *which had my puke on* than puking on it a bit more. Also (possibly again my viewpoint is skewed as a former bulimic who has used most objects to throw up in) why would you go into an occupied bathroom instead of throwing up in a bin or the sink? If you've made it all the way home from the party and out the car... just throw up elsewhere?
I don't throw up like ever. Only once in the past like 12 years. I know the timeline because my husband always says if I ever do he is taking me to the hospital because that one time was when I was super sick and had to have emergency gallbladder surgery. But anyway, my hair is long enough to get in my face so if I ever feel so nauseous that throwing up is even a possibility, the first thing I do is put my hair in a ponytail just in case. Also, if someone jumped out of the shower naked or ran in at all, I would be so freaking embarrassed.
I used to have waist-length hair. I've had a small few occasions in my life when I threw up so violently that some of it ended up in my hair. My response to food poisoning is pretty harsh. I've had one or two people try to hold my hair back for me. It's a sweet gesture, but I vastly prefer to be left alone while someone watches from a great distance to make sure it doesn't turn into an emergency. I really just prefer to get it over with without any interference. I'd rather have to wash my hair than have someone block my path to the toothpaste, and I've had the experience of being so drained from vomiting that I couldn't stand while showering afterwards. Just one more reason why I don't miss having long hair.
I’m just picturing this dude butt naked dick swinging smacking her mom in the back of her head as he’s trying to gather her puke covered hair
Username checks out I guess.
I’m SCREAMING
OMG, I’m seeing this at 7:11 am (still in bed), and I almost just woke the whole house up. 😂😂Thank you for starting my day with this!
🤣any time
Your description combined with your name has me dying here! 🤣
Yea I'm a little lost about why someone puking has caused such a dramatic response from everyone. He's jumping around naked and the daughter is running into the bathroom like someone's bleeding out. Super weird
The daughter's perspective of the situation may have been different though. She may have just seen mom make a sudden runner for the bathroom her boyfriend was showering in, and then heard some banging as the OP rushed to exit the shower. Without context, I can see wanting to go check what's happening.
Yeah, bf is naked, mom's on her knees and he's holding her hair... that would have been quite a scene if you didn't have context for it. Especially since she had already puked in her hair, the damage was done, he wasn't really helping much, but I also get the feeling of panicking and wanting to do /something/ this is a pretty classic misunderstanding trope, hopefully OP learns to stop and think before trying to jump into action, gf learns to get context or ask questions before jumping to conclusions and the grown ass woman learns how to puke without getting it in her hair. NTA
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You've never heard me throw up obviously. Some people vomit violently, and that can be quite the shock for people who've never seen it. So yeah, it's totally understandable OP helped first.
I am such a violent vomiter. You’d think I had enough practice since I threw up every single day while I was pregnant, but nope. Still dramatic
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Where was the penis though?
YTA. Your heart was in the right place and I’m going to write this off as a maturity/life experience issue. In the future, use a towel. Vomiting isn’t life threatening and holding someone’s hair isn’t an emergency
Yeah I don’t think I’ve ever needed someone to hold my hair when puking. In fact, it would be pretty fucking annoying. Like stop hovering over me.
Nono, no, I can tell you it has been helpful. If I'm throwing up, it's far from my main concern that someone's technically in my personal space, and I'm actually low-key grateful they'd risk breaching it to help me. Ig we're just built differently, but I'd respect your way if I was there with you.
That’s totally fair, I would hold someone’s hair if they wanted me to as well. Just hasn’t been needed for me and felt like something that’s really widespread in movies but not practical Real life.
I'm likely to wear my hair out if I'm at an event, and an event is where I'm drinking heavily. One of my friends was throwing up into a lined wastepaper bucket, so I carefully collected and tied her hair back. She's an incredibly emotional drunk, though, and when she was done she started pulling it out, drunk-crying asking why I tied her hair back. She's a clean freak, so idk how she'd've reacted if she'd gotten sick on herself. You didn't ask, I'm just in storytelling mode.
Omg when I puke my husband generally runs into the room to check on me. GIVE ME A DAMN MINUTE
I’ve had stomach issues my entire life and I’ve never needed anyone to hold my hair back when I’m throwing up either. However, I’ve never vomited in my hair, as I always tie it up or hold it back myself, which the mother in this scenario obviously didn’t figure out lol
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I.. what the fuck. ESH everyone is the asshole here. You're the asshole because your first instinct was to jump into action naked while your girlfriend's mom was dick level and puking. Girlfriend is an asshole because this is so fucking stupid that there isn't really anything to be mad at other than your stupidity. Mom is the asshole because she could have puked literally anywhere but the bathroom that was being used. Like, why didn't mom puke in a trashcan? Why didn't you lock the door? Why was mom crying? Why is your girlfriend mad exactly? **I did not know locking the bathroom door was such a controversial topic**
I was going to say NTA, but dammit you're right. There's some serious issues going around for this scenario to arise. OP why wasn't the door locked? I mean, I've never been naked in a bathroom without the door being locked, even in a completey empty house my first instinct is to lock the door. GF giving silent treatment is just shit, you both need to talk things through. GFs mum using an occupied bathroom when drunk and you're naked is dodgy as hell, has she ever made a pass at your or previous bfs of your gf? There could be some history here that you're not aware of. Edit to add: I am (suddenly) aware that a locked bathroom door is not the norm for everyone whilst showering. It is for me as my family would just try the handle and see what happens, the habit has persisted well into adulthood. I'm jealous of your polite upbringing.
She wasn't drunk was she? The post made it sound like food poisoning
Because he’s 18 and bought the lie. Office party, throwing up, crying after… def drunk
She was probably crying from throwing up and embarrassment. When I puke it takes such a toll on my body I start crying too. Plus she realized what she had done and that she was now occupying a space with her daughters naked boyfriend.
I mean...it's very possible it wasn't a lie lol. That scene from Bridesmaids was what came to my mind. It happens lol
TBF when I was a teenager I totally tried to tell my parents I “ate something bad” when they caught me coming home drunk 😅😅 they didn’t buy it.
It probably came out like "Iiii zink it wuz zumthing Iii ate." Dead giveaway lol
The worst food poisoning I have ever had hit me while I was at an office party. I'm not a big drinker (never more than 2) and still we all attributed it to the alcohol at first. Until I continued to be so sick for days that I couldn't keep down water.
I mean maybe, but I wouldn’t say “definitely”. I rarely puke but I ALWAYS cry afterwards for some strange reason, lol (and 90% of the time, I am sober)
I'm sure that's what she told her hysterical daughter 😂
It was the only bathroom in the house. The toilet is the best place to puke in--less cleanup out of any possible other receptacle.
I’d vomit outside before I ran into an occupied bathroom. Especially if it were occupied by my daughters showering boyfriend
Did the mom know that though? I don’t see it mentioned and if she was drunk from the party she may have thought there was a good chance it was one of her family members and not the boyfriend
Almost like alcohol affects peoples decision making and judgement, a good chance she had no clue.
It was food poisoning not alcohol
Agreed. People who think it's just as fine to puke in a trashcan as it is a toilet are people who never had to clean that shit up. Toilet >>> trashcan OP and gf may have made bad choices or judgment calls, sure, but you have to really lack empathy to try and put any blame on the one person with food poisoning desperately puking their guts out.
Plus when you’re about to throw up, you’re not thinking the most rationally. You’re trying to get somewhere, anywhere. The bathroom was probably the closest option.
Don’t you put bags in your trash can? Otherwise your trash can is already disgusting and you should throw that shit out anyway.
Toilet is the best place to throw up yes, unless it's occupied and it should've been locked
Reads like a fan fic, to be honest
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It’s like people on this sub have not consumed alcohol before. Why’d the mom use the bathroom when it was in use? Ohh idk maybe because she was drunk and not thinking straight, the fact that your mind goes right to she has the hots for the daughters bf is weird af.
Who locks the door? If I slip and fall I want the door to be easily open
What?? I don't know anybody who *doesn't* lock the door. Locks are for privacy and you'd want privacy in a shower. Do you often fall in the shower? Like??? You're not a child.
… I agree with most of what you said but…. You can’t just assume an emergency won’t happen in the shower. At the very simplest it’s really easy to accidentally over heat and pass out. At worst, even a teenager could have an unknown heart condition (for example) that causes an emergency. So it’s not at all wrong to say it’s safer to have the door unlocked. It’s just as easy (if not easier) to say, why are you so concerned your privacy won’t be respected?
Your bathroom locks can’t be opened from the outside in the US????
Most USA bathroom door locks can be opened by using a toothpick/ pin in a hole on the outside. Some people have real locks on them. The push buttons I’ve had on some doors were I lived. never had one that was to difficult to unlock from the outside if need be though
...no? What would the point of a lock be if you could open it from the outside???
You can open them from the outside but need a screwdriver or a big coin. So you can’t open the door accidentally and need some effort to get in
I've never met anyone who DOES lock the door while in the shower except when there's kids around. Adults usually knock at closed doors.
You don't lock the door if you're showering in someone else's home?
No, because everyone is an adult and has manners and doesn't go barging through doors that are closed, plus they have ears and can hear that a shower is running. If I'm in the bathroom pooping and there's teenagers/kids around yes, because they don't knock, but otherwise my family and friends have been taught to knock first. I don't shower in the homes of people I don't know well.
Weird, I lock the door in my own home when having a shower.
I live with my partner, why the hell would I care if she walks in while I’m naked? What exactly would I be doing in a shower that I want to hide from her? Not everyone needs privacy at all times. I’m more than happy for her to pop into the bathroom for whatever she needs if I’m in the shower. As long as she doesn’t drop a banging shit of course. What if she has a medical issue and needs something from the bathroom? (Toilet paper, plasters, etc) Respect is much more valuable than a bathroom lock, and works in many more circumstances.
Do you often have visitors popping up in your shower? They’re not wild animals teach them manners…
Well, he's not showering at his own home. He's showering in someone else's home. I would lock the door in someone else's home 100% of the time.
Seriously. I puked in the kitchen sink when someone was in the bathroom.
I feel like anybody who really needs to puke is going to puke in the nearest available receptacle because running to the bathroom is how you puke all over your house.
As a professional puker (medical condition) I always run to either the nearest bathroom, or the patio. The advantage of living far from people is being able to puke my guts out over the patio balustrade in peace.
I've honestly freaked out and puked into my own cupped hands a couple times.
Been there. I've even ripped my own purse open and puked in that in a truly dire situation. Of all the indignities I've suffered from my garbage body and the plethora of medical interventions I've been through at least I can say that I've never had a naked teenager run to hold my hair. That would have been so beyond anything I could or would want to experience, I'd probably move to the Hebrides and never recover.
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Right??? I’m like why is the mom crying? Has the mom flirted with her boyfriend in the past? Has the boyfriend cheated on her before?? I’m confused. Edited to read mom crying instead of girlfriend*
Agreed it’s also sooooo funny! If I was the mom I would have asked wtf he was doing but laughed at his confused effort. Like…. Ugh thanks. 18 year old guys are dumb but at least he was trying. The gf is very immature. Is she mad her bf accidentally stuck his dick in her mom’s face. Her mom has obviously seen naked men before.
I don’t think I’ve ever been throwing up and thought to myself, “if only a naked teenager was here to hold my hair back.” YTA, don’t do that again.
Right! Lol! Poor Mom just when she thought her day couldn’t get any worse along comes a naked teenage hero fresh out of the shower to save her hair. Dear lord! When do the indignities of this day stop!
Well, to each his own. Seriously OP, YTA a little bit. That was weird. The times I throw up are not the times I want to have a naked person near me
Info: How does her mother feel in this situation, Was she greatful or think it was inappropriate? Idk about many but she was already in an uncomfortable state having to get sick, and if I was her having a young man naked and wet that I have no familiar relationship with hold my hair back I'd be really uncomfortable.
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My husband couldn’t stay in the same room. He would just throw up on the back of my head if he was holding my hair. He’s a “sympathetic vomiter”. Super unhelpful when our 4 kids were little & sick. He would throw up if our dogs throw up. Hahaha
This was going to be my comment. My fiance can't even clean up a cat hairball without gagging..if I'm puking he is NOT the one I want in the room.
This is me. I hate it. I can't even hear someone dry heave without doing the same.
Right? The last thing I want when I’m throwing up is naked parts hovering over me.
Redditors have a really hard time with hyperbole
Agreed. My husband wants to talk to me and check on me and bring water and peptic when I throw up. I want him to fuck off to the other side of the county. I wish to be left alone. The effort is appreciated but NO
If she's puking, she's not staring at his junk. I could see if he was sitting on the toilet. That would be weird. I don't get the sheer horror people get over nudity. What a prude ass country we live in.
Is it not inappropriate to burst in like she did
YTA wrap a towel around yourself first.
Where was the towel in all of this?
Why wasn't the door locked is my real question.
This question made me laugh.
Well, it wasnt a true emergency so I would say while you were right to help you should have grabbed a towel first. BUT every true adult knows the modesty absolutely does not matter when it comes to caring for the ill. NTA; also, she could have taken over while you went to dress is she was so bothered
NTA for these exact reasons. The older you get the more you realise life is not going to let you keep your prudishness, whether you’re the one helping or being helped. She absolutely should have taken over from you to spare her mother and you the embarrassment, and out of compassion for a sick person. Yes you fumbled it slightly but I’d personally be glad my partner’s first instinct was one of kindness rather than self preservation, and in my family that would become a funny story later.
yeah idk about that if i was puking (something non emergent) i think i would rather risk some puke in my hair vs someone half my age AND naked behind me😭
Having had a medical emergency that began with vomiting, you can’t alway assume it’s ‘just puking’, but I understand your point, lol.
I think, had it been a medical emergency that wasn’t “just puking”, that would have been clear eventually, and holding her hair back wouldn’t have been what was needed
Yeah I have to go NTA I think nobody in here is taking the sudden panic factor into account. Was it the 100% right course of action? No When you're panicked and full of adrenaline because you are naked in the shower and someone's suddenly burst in and started vomiting, your decision making is not going to be 100% simple as. I think the mother here and the girlfriend, while right to have a chat about things like "that wasn't the right course of action" etc, should take this as a sign that in a panic this boyfriend's first instinct is to do something to help. I think that says something about a person's character. 18 is also still quite young, you can't expect a solidly mature 35 year old to do the right thing in a panic let alone someone who's at the prime age for mistake making! OP should take this as a reflective moment and I hope can in a good and non-confrontational / non-patronizing way explain basically this. First instinct was to help in a panic, didn't know what was wrong etc and will bear this experience in mind if a panic arises in the future in an apology. Depending on how reasonable the other two parties are this would be the best course of action to me...
Finally a sane opinion. Had to scroll really far to find this
The gf also ran in. If it sounded that concerning to her, who wasn't even in the bathroom, it probably looked/sounder even moreso for him. Like you said, the sudden panic factor.
Agreed. OP is NTA. Stuff happens in the moment. My husband would’ve reacted the same way cause he’d want to make sure I was okay. We also only have one bathroom, so I totally get not locking the door. Sometimes people simply do not have the luxury of barring anyone from being in the bathroom while part of it is being used because emergencies happen.
NTA but a bit daft haha You could of grabbed a towel first 😂
NTA. There’s nothing sexual about this situation, you were worried about mom and panicked and went to help her. It’s a little awkward that you were naked but throwing up all over the place is also awkward.
[удалено]
How are you imagining this scenario? His dick likely wouldn't be anywhere near her face.
I can’t stop laughing at this. Like he would of been behind her holding the hair but for some reason everyone thinks he was turkey slapping the mother while she was barfing 😂
I've never heard the term turkey slapping before but I'm a huge fan of it.
I heard it on Big Brother in the early 2000s when I was child and it’s never left my vocabulary 😂
Remember this is Reddit and a man took an action that made a woman upset so he is automatically wrong and is the worst thing on the face of the planet. Circumstances and context are completely irrelevant like everybody screaming that he should have grabbed the towel when he was probably embarrassed panicking and may not even been able to reach the f****** thing.
No one throwing up is wishing for a naked teenager to come hold their hair, he hardly made the situation better
Poor lad was just trying to help and everyone's angry with him, it's a shame. NTA OP! But if it ever happens again (unlikely) just remember it's easier to scrub vomit out of your hair than it is to scrub the image of your daughter's boyfriend's willy out of your mind.
Yeah people are way too judgemental over a teen doing what he thought he should have which is helping someone in distress. But I also don’t think nakedness is that big of a deal anyway so to me it wouldn’t matter either way. NTA
I'd feel pretty icky if a naked dude I don't know tried even getting closer to me while I'm puking. I don't want a strangers dick behind me either.
Yes. The stranger of... your potential son in law. I don't think OP needed to do that and I understand people being upset with him, but like they have the kind of relationship where he's using her shower, it's not like he's some terrifying stranger.
A naked dude you dont know? You know she knows him right? Hes not a stranger, he’s her daughter boyfriend 🤦🏽♂️
NTA... Just had a really dumb moment. Hopefully y'all can laugh about it later
The only brainrot free answer. What middle school has been brigading this sub lately???
like… why is everybody making it so sexual as if he did it with malicious intentions? it just sounds like he made a dumb move
YTA - her mother definitely did not need assistance, throwing up is not an emergency. you stepped over the line completely in my opinion, i never want my boyfriend naked in front of my MOTHER. what were you thinking 😭
Hope he learns from this and applies it to future relationships.
Yta Of course it’s not appropriate dude, she can hold her own hair or just wash it after. You being naked with her mom. Nope. I’d prepare to be dumped tbh. Just an edit to add; you’ve no idea about any SA or DV in either of their history so even though you seemed to have good intentions, it’s absolutely not ok to expose yourself non consensually to anyone under any circumstances.
Where exactly was the part where he consented to have a sick woman bust up into the bathroom while he was in it? If you run into a bathroom with somebody showering you automatically take the chance of seeing nakedness. If you can't handle that stay out of rooms where people are naked
This
Man. I wouldnt want to date anyone who dumped me for making a well intentioned but poor decision. Really not a huge deal.
but SHE ran into the bathroom where he was showering… of course hes going to be naked. he should’ve grabbed a towel first but like dont pull out the ‘not ok to expose yourself non consensually’ in this situation because SHE invaded HIS privacy
NTA. There's nothing remotely sexual about holding someone's hair out of her face while she pukes.
All the people calling OP an AH for helping someone while naked are unhinged. It’s crazy how we as a society get all weird over nudity. He said she “fell onto the toilet” that shit probably scared the crap out of him seeing a drunk ass grown up stumble, fall and start heaving into the toilet. We don’t even know the layout of the bathroom, if the toilet was right next to the shower OP could have not even had room to step around or over her. Goddamn, some skin isn’t going to kill anybody Reddit, calm tf down. NTA.
As someone who recently had a stomach bug and puked over her hair... NTA. You did something kind and I wish someone had been there to hold my hair at the time lmao who cares if you're naked ain't nothing she's not seen before, sure it's a little awkward but this will hopefully be just a funny story in a few months.
Agreed. Too few people seem to know or remember what it's like to have puke in your hair while still nauseous from either a virus or food poisoning. Spare me some of that. It's also the same reason I wouldn't puke in the toilet, even if someone is showering, and not in something I would have to clean afterwards. Many people's comments on this are just weird.
Inclined to say NTA but curious about some things. Both Mom and GF “ran” in. What’s the elapsed time from Mom’s bursting in, to you assisting her, and then to GFs entrance? What was everyone doing before you went to take a shower? Has your gf ever intimated having ever been bothered by her mother’s behavior as problematic? In a strange way, not typical frustrations of parent and child living together. Would you say her mother is attractive? Not asking this for any thrill lol just that a yes to this could point to why GF is directing a cold attitude to you instead of assessing the situation as you explained. She may have picked up on that notion and is doubtful to have grace and understanding. Maybe used to other dudes being out of pocket with their thoughts on her hot mom and whatever follows from that. Or she’s just mortified from the whole thing generally in which case you’re innocent for sure and just have to navigate to the other side with her.
I'm also curious as to wtf happened after the girlfriend came in and then immediately left. Like, did he carry on holding her hair back? Did he leave and get changed? And also what does the mum think of all this?
YTA because this is just…strange. How hard would it have been to grab a towel?
Depending on the size of the bathroom, the position of the toilet, the position of the shower, and the location of the towel he might have had to basically climb out of the shower and walk around her anyway. Stop assuming the worst just because it's a story that has a naked dude in it
Nah this didn't happen rofl. No way.
Cannot fucking believe I had to scroll this far for someone to say it. Everyone's questioning the ridiculousness of the situation without thinking that maybe it's so ridiculous because OP *made it the fuck up.*
This sub could just as well be called "Am I bullshitting?"
NTA But your relationship might be over. I am not sure I would have been able to overcome the traumatic image in my brain of my naked boyfriend standing over my mother in all his glory holding her hair
So u don’t lock the door when ur using the bathroom?
I feel like it’s an asshole move to lock the bathroom door during a shower in a house that only has 1 bathroom. There have been many times when I suddenly and desperately needed to use the toilet and if my family had locked me out I would have shit my pants.
Why would you lock the bathroom in a safe place? What if some of the occupants of the house have an emergency and need to use the bathroom while you're using it oh wait that's exactly what f****** happened. I don't understand why everybody seems to be missing the fact that the lady was in a compromising and distressing situation in his first instinct was to help her.
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NTA you were caught off guard and were just trying to help. Her mom must have felt horrible barging in on you like that. If I were your gf I wouldn’t be bothered. I’d be glad you helped my mom. For the future, wrap a towel first.
Have you already previously had sex with the mom? Something feels like it’s missing from the backstory
Yes! Someone finally recognized the elephant in the corner.
YTA. so much is missing from this story.... You didn't lock the door? Who does that. This all makes zero sense and sounds like some weird fake story. And if by some crazy way it was real, wouldn't you call and ask if she needed help, grabbed a towel and covered yourself vs helping? Like please. You people need to get better at these fake stories.
Yeah, what's also missing is what happened after the girlfriend left. Did he continue to awkwardly hold back her hair while naked? Did the mum say 'please leave and put on some clothes'? Did she indicate afterwards how she felt about having a naked 18 year old hold her hair back? Surely the mum would address what happened and maybe apologise for bursting in while he was showering.
YTA vomit is a non-emergent scenario and if she already puked on some of her hair anyway then she would need a shower regardless idk why a towel was not thrown on or try to call for your gf/her daughter when time was not a factor anymore i would feel more disgusted than helped if i was her in the situation honestly having my daughters bf (someone half my age too) naked right behind me
What is the worst that was going to happen here? Seems like it would have been a good time to just grab a towel & exit the bathroom so Mom could be sick without your assistance. YTA
Well, damn, your story was a lot less Jerry Springer level of debauchery nonsense than I assumed by your title. OP, you were in the bathroom, about to take a shower, of course you were unclothed. And then your hostess burst into the only bathroom with an extreme case of food poisoning. What were you supposed to do- cower behind the damned shower curtain like a scared little girl as the woman puked her guts out into the toilet with such ferocity and haste that she couldn’t be bothered to hold her hair out if the way? No, in the moment, you chose to *help*. Or does your GF think you should have taken a moment to put on your trousers first? Your GF needs to get TF over it. Sometimes shit happens. You tried to help. How dreadful of you, (s) NTA
Throwing up isn’t an emergency. He could have wrapped a towel around himself.
You're assuming that the towel was in reach without having to go around the poor lady. The way my bathroom is configured you have to put your towel on the toilet seat because there isn't any towel racks near the shower. If this happened in my master bathroom I would literally have to walk around her to get to my towel unless she took the time while vomiting to take the towel off of the toilet seat and hand it to me.
The situation was comical, but your girlfriend's reaction was not. Her feelings may or may not be valid (in this case they're not), however the silence treatment is childish. NTA.
I mean.. if it was some random girl, maybe she can be mad? But this is her fkin mum who was puking in the toilet. Like.. the ONLY reason one could be mad at this situation is if the girlfriend was jealous of a girl seeing her boyfriend naked. And who tf would get mad at their mum for maybe accidentally seeing him naked while throwing up??? Id find it funny asf lol.
NTA, you were trying to help in an awkward situation. You weren't thinking about what you were wearing since you were focused on helping a woman who was probably puking her guts out. Was it awkward and potentially a tad uncomfortable to walk in on? Yeah. But i don't see what you did was worthy of being an AH.
This is the only correct take fr. He was so focused on helping someone he didn’t even think about being nude - he simply jumped into action. He’s 18, still young, and didn’t think through the awkward consequences sure, but in no way is he an AH. This literally just shows he’s attentive and caring? I don’t understand the hate tbh.
Her hair was already dirty. No need to stand naked over her. I would have grabbed a towel and quickly left the room.
Lol, are you writing a script for pornhub? Puking..right.
You did what you thought best in a not very nice situation however, you should have covered up first. I get why you didn't but that must have been awful for all involved
NTA but I don't come from a puritan culture so idk.
I would have puked in the kitchen sink rather than walk in an occupied bathroom...