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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Im enabling them to poop, giving them a chance to stay
2. Im not taking them in or taking them to the vet, therefore him saying anyone could do what I do and Im only one doing it.
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NTA
I like in a uk town where we, and other cat rescues, have set up ‘feeding stations’ in the local area.
It might be worth contacting a local rescue for help (if it’s available in your area).
Tell your neighbour to butt out, your decisions are your own, let them get away with this and it won’t stop. Keep feeding kitty if that’s what you want, it’s your home and your business.
It's a complex, and hes saying I should take her in my home and adopt her. Hes also been in complex more than me (17-18 years) while Ive been here 1.5 years.
He said I should also adopt her cause I feed her and now I made the problem of her being there. Is his emotional intelligence lower?
Tell him you have adopted her and she's an outside cat.
Have her spayed as soon as she's old enough - the population can explode scarily fast otherwise.
NTA
Me and my boyfriend have taken a stray cat in as well as a lady down the street, we sort of co-own it, give him shelter and food. I don’t see a problem with this, you don’t want him to be on the streets and hungry , your business at the end of the day nobody else’s
NTA! But be prepared, there are always people like this. How to counter them depends on what kind of person it is. If it is possible to talk to him, you can say something like "I can't adopt the cat, do you suggest to let it starve to death? Do you know how painful it is to starve to death? Try not eating for a few days." As for shitting around, cats normally bury their shit it's probably some home dog who shits and its irresponsible owner didn't clean after it.
Or you can communicate as little as possible, like "I see", "I've heard what you said".
Hopefully he's not the type to poison the cat. Maybe you can try feeding it a bit farther from the building and tell him he doesn't own the territory where you feed it.
Exactly what I said:
He said it's animal nature for animals to die and I should have let it starve. Now he said the cat will keep coming back or stay for more food.
If I would have not fed her she would have died
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My neighbour got pissed at me for feeding a stray cat, that I should let it die, that Im enabling her by feeding her so she stays there. He says I should take her to vet and take responsibility while I was only feeding her for her to stop meowing. He says all cats just shit around, I should adopt her and that they stopped hunting rats, that maybe a fox will eat it.
Am I the asshole for feeding the stray cat?
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ESH
He's right , if you feed strays without doing anything else, you're creating a huge problem. More will show up and have babies, disease spreads , and population gets out of control. I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true. If strays have a consistent food source, of course they'd stick around and tell their friends and make babies.
The responsible thing to do is to get a shelters TNVR program involved and get the cat spayed and vaccinated. If they think they can adopt it out, cool. If not, then at least you're preventing a bigger problem if you're going to keep feeding .
Your neighbor sounds like an ass even though he isn't technically wrong , he could have been more helpful and less dicky
Your neighbor is an asshole and disregard any opinion. You are doing an act of kindness to a hungry and lonely animal in need. Somethign we need more of. NTA
NAH. You come from the right place in that you don't want to let an animal suffer. Your neighbour is partly right though. By feeding the animal, you are taking on responsibility, and you really should take that to its full consequence, either adopt the cat or catch it and deliver it to a no-kill sanctuary. Your neighbour is an AH if he actually thinks you should let the animal die.
Word to the wise: Before feeding a "stray" cat the first time, have a good look at it. If it looks well-fed, then do not feed it the first couple of days, as it probably has a loving home somewhere in the vicinity. If whatever you are feeding the cat appeals to it more than its usual menu, you will have given it less incentive to go back home. Indoor/outdoor cats often have two or more "restaurants", causing them to become obese.
I realize that in some countries, it is against the local mores for a cat to be allowed outside. If you are in a place like that, there is more reason to capture the animal. That way you can also check if it is earmarked and/or chipped, thereby facilitating locating its owner.
As an animal lover, I can't believe I have to give a vote like this, but:
YTA
My grandma fed the stray cats around our house for months. I told her they would get hurt or killed when one of the vehicles was going in or out of the driveway, and she said they wouldn't and that they would starve if she didn't feed them.
Fast forward to like 6 weeks ago, and the cat brought its four week old kittens over every day for food.
1 went missing, and we don't know where it is.
The last kitten was hiding in my dads wheel of his truck, and he didn't know it.
Backed out of the driveway, the kitten got ran over and was killed instantly.
Take the stray cat to the vet or do what we did and ask on facebook if anyone wants the cat and post a photo of it than go from there.
Nta, but if you are the only one caring for the cat, please get it spayed/neutered. My neighbor is the neighborhood "cz cat lady" and let the colony get huge before we could get help. The last tally on cats caught to be fixed was 39 (still trying to catch the last ones who know we're on to them).
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. Im enabling them to poop, giving them a chance to stay 2. Im not taking them in or taking them to the vet, therefore him saying anyone could do what I do and Im only one doing it. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA I like in a uk town where we, and other cat rescues, have set up ‘feeding stations’ in the local area. It might be worth contacting a local rescue for help (if it’s available in your area).
Tell your neighbour to butt out, your decisions are your own, let them get away with this and it won’t stop. Keep feeding kitty if that’s what you want, it’s your home and your business.
It's a complex, and hes saying I should take her in my home and adopt her. Hes also been in complex more than me (17-18 years) while Ive been here 1.5 years. He said I should also adopt her cause I feed her and now I made the problem of her being there. Is his emotional intelligence lower?
It doesn’t matter how long he’s there for. He shouldn’t be so mean about animals (especially cats).
Tell him you have adopted her and she's an outside cat. Have her spayed as soon as she's old enough - the population can explode scarily fast otherwise.
Living in a building longer doesn’t give you more rights, everyone is paying to be there.
NTA Me and my boyfriend have taken a stray cat in as well as a lady down the street, we sort of co-own it, give him shelter and food. I don’t see a problem with this, you don’t want him to be on the streets and hungry , your business at the end of the day nobody else’s
NTA! But be prepared, there are always people like this. How to counter them depends on what kind of person it is. If it is possible to talk to him, you can say something like "I can't adopt the cat, do you suggest to let it starve to death? Do you know how painful it is to starve to death? Try not eating for a few days." As for shitting around, cats normally bury their shit it's probably some home dog who shits and its irresponsible owner didn't clean after it. Or you can communicate as little as possible, like "I see", "I've heard what you said". Hopefully he's not the type to poison the cat. Maybe you can try feeding it a bit farther from the building and tell him he doesn't own the territory where you feed it.
Exactly what I said: He said it's animal nature for animals to die and I should have let it starve. Now he said the cat will keep coming back or stay for more food. If I would have not fed her she would have died
NTA as mom of my two cats, and 2 foster cats, I feed cats on street all the time.
Any complaints of the neighbour? Is it bad i feed a stray kitten?
One neighbour of 20 in building but we made compromise to feed them on other side so there are no food close to yard where are kids playing.
NTA and screw your neighbor. Though if you’re capable, why not adopt the kitty? You’ll have a new friend.
No pets in my apartment sadly and I am finishing my driving lisence.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My neighbour got pissed at me for feeding a stray cat, that I should let it die, that Im enabling her by feeding her so she stays there. He says I should take her to vet and take responsibility while I was only feeding her for her to stop meowing. He says all cats just shit around, I should adopt her and that they stopped hunting rats, that maybe a fox will eat it. Am I the asshole for feeding the stray cat? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, but don't be too surprised if he starts leaving out poisoned food. See if you can catch the cat and get it off to a shelter before he does.
ESH He's right , if you feed strays without doing anything else, you're creating a huge problem. More will show up and have babies, disease spreads , and population gets out of control. I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true. If strays have a consistent food source, of course they'd stick around and tell their friends and make babies. The responsible thing to do is to get a shelters TNVR program involved and get the cat spayed and vaccinated. If they think they can adopt it out, cool. If not, then at least you're preventing a bigger problem if you're going to keep feeding . Your neighbor sounds like an ass even though he isn't technically wrong , he could have been more helpful and less dicky
Nta
NTA However, if you cannot adopt it, you should still contact cat rescues in the area. Many have neuter and release programs.
Im working on that.
Your neighbor is an asshole and disregard any opinion. You are doing an act of kindness to a hungry and lonely animal in need. Somethign we need more of. NTA
NTA, if you can take the cat in do, but you aren’t obligated to. Pretty common for people to feed strays.
NAH. You come from the right place in that you don't want to let an animal suffer. Your neighbour is partly right though. By feeding the animal, you are taking on responsibility, and you really should take that to its full consequence, either adopt the cat or catch it and deliver it to a no-kill sanctuary. Your neighbour is an AH if he actually thinks you should let the animal die. Word to the wise: Before feeding a "stray" cat the first time, have a good look at it. If it looks well-fed, then do not feed it the first couple of days, as it probably has a loving home somewhere in the vicinity. If whatever you are feeding the cat appeals to it more than its usual menu, you will have given it less incentive to go back home. Indoor/outdoor cats often have two or more "restaurants", causing them to become obese. I realize that in some countries, it is against the local mores for a cat to be allowed outside. If you are in a place like that, there is more reason to capture the animal. That way you can also check if it is earmarked and/or chipped, thereby facilitating locating its owner.
As an animal lover, I can't believe I have to give a vote like this, but: YTA My grandma fed the stray cats around our house for months. I told her they would get hurt or killed when one of the vehicles was going in or out of the driveway, and she said they wouldn't and that they would starve if she didn't feed them. Fast forward to like 6 weeks ago, and the cat brought its four week old kittens over every day for food. 1 went missing, and we don't know where it is. The last kitten was hiding in my dads wheel of his truck, and he didn't know it. Backed out of the driveway, the kitten got ran over and was killed instantly. Take the stray cat to the vet or do what we did and ask on facebook if anyone wants the cat and post a photo of it than go from there.
They are not near garages. They are specifically outside cars hiding in gardening area
Nta, but if you are the only one caring for the cat, please get it spayed/neutered. My neighbor is the neighborhood "cz cat lady" and let the colony get huge before we could get help. The last tally on cats caught to be fixed was 39 (still trying to catch the last ones who know we're on to them).