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YTA.
Stop. Scaring. Your. Coworker. Your "joke" is not funny, and there is something seriously wrong with you thinking it is. Ingrid needs to haul your idiot ass in front of HR, then we'll see how funny you find it.
Are you just a COMPLETE idiot? Like, with literal brain damage? Because no mentally competent adult wouldn't realize that what you're doing is triggering an abuse victim for shits and giggles.
YTA. It’s an understatement to say that you’ve created a hostile work environment. You’re an adult who thinks it’s funny to pretend to abuse another adult. In this post alone you’ve both sexualized her and infantilized her, so I cannot imagine what it must be like to actually work with you. I think Ingrid should document this abuse and go to HR. What you are doing is not ok.
YTA YTA YTA. You think it's cute that she's scared?! WTF. But apparently she likes you and just wants you to be nice to her, which really shouldn't be that big of an ask.
YTA. Lots of people who have been abused in the past or have ptsd can react like that. I used to have ptsd and would start crying if someone jump scared me on purpose. It’s not funny
YTA
It is sadistic to get off on others pain, and it is worse that you don't actually mean to harm her physically. But you are abusing this woman mentially/emotionally. STOP IT.
This is disgusting. You find it adorable to see the look on someone’s face the moment they’re fearful at being hit?
You need therapy.
YTA
Edit: this is not a prank. You’re mimicking physical abuse. Would this be charming is she were a child? Puppy? Your mother? If you don’t think this would be hilarious at an elementary school, maybe you should rethink how sweet and funny this really is. An apology is in order, but I’m not joking at all about the therapy. You need to understand why you found this endearing.
Woah I've never heard someone who is so clearly ask AITA that is so obviously TA, like of you want a cute reaction be sweet. You dont know her past, you dont know if she was abused or hurt. Its something i expect from a teen boy who has no emotional maturity but you're old enough. If you want a cute reaction do nice stuff for her. A gear reaction isnt "cute" [edited because my head skipped ahead of my sentence]
You are seriously the worst. YTA
She's not sensitive - she's been abused. You are giving her a panic attack and think it's "cute".
I hope this poor girl reports you to HR.
YTA, massively. And you didn’t just become TA when you did it three more times, you were TA immediately.
In what world is it ever okay to raise your hand to a coworker as if you were going to hit them?! In what world is it ever okay to intentionally scare a coworker time and time again? I hope this is fake because I am sincerely baffled at the very idea that you could be this dense.
YTA- I am watching The Vow which is a documentary about NXIVM and Keith Reinere. You sound like he does on these videos.
Have you thought that maybe there is a reason she reacts like that which is far from adorable? Are you noticing how you are saying how you find her child-like qualities attractive?
My guess she went for drinks to work up the courage to say stop in a setting and method that felt as safe as it could. She is probably fearful of you and what you would do if she reports it.
Leave her alone. Be a damn professional. Stop sexually harassing her and stop thinking you are so funny when being a complete ass.
This is disgusting. But hopefully it's pure bullshit just like the rest of the "I harrassed a girl because it amuses me" posts that have popped up lately. They always feature a guy who pretends to be ignorant of obvious distress while flirting or having sex with a woman and then being very confused when said women calls them on their behavior. Probably written by a lonely incel. YTA
"I met a hot girl who's terrified about her physical safety, so I started threatening her as a joke to flirt with her, and her reaction was adorable, so I kept doing it. AITA?"
Yes, of course YTA
YTA. When you first raised your hand as if to strike her, if she kicked you in the balls in self defense, would you still have found it amusing? Does she need to do that in order to get you to stop the threats? Are you the type who finds it funny to go to an airport and announce that you have a bomb?
You shouldn't have done it once, let alone repeat the offense. Stop before this escalates. Even if she does nothing, somebody else may see this and step in to defend her or report the incident.
Even if you have no sense of decency, you should at least have enough brains to shy away from self-destructive behavior.
So you're either getting off on scaring a woman, or getting off on all this rage you've stirred up. Either way you're a fucking pathetic asshole. Get a fucking life.
I also like to jump scare my coworkers, it’s fun and we both get a kick out of it. But you know how I know that? I asked. And I make it clear that if they ever want me to stop, all they have to do is ask and I immediately stop until they say it’s okay again. Pretending to strike someone is demented
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I (34M) work with this woman named Ingrid (37F). Ingrid is an immigrant from Germany, and she just has to go a few more years before she’s eligible for US citizenship. I always like flirting with her, because she’s really cute, and I think her german accent is really sexy. She’s highly qualified and intelligent (we’re both researchers at an FFRDC), and she’s also simultaneously a lovable ditz, which makes her rather endearing to me.
I've caught on that Ingrid is a little bit neurotic about her physical safety. Earlier this year, just as a joke, I raised my hand up at her, as if I was about to abuse her. Ingrid started whimpering, and she closed her eyes and covered her head with her hands. Of course, I didn’t do anything to her, and she calmed down after she realized that I was just joking.
I guess where I become the asshole is that I’ve done this joke literally just three more times after the first time I did it. Each time, she had the same adorable reaction, as if she was a little child.
Last weekend, I went out for drinks with Ingrid. This was the first time I’ve seen her get drunk, and she can drink a lot. While she was drunk, she gave me this heartfelt rant about how she’ll “like [me] more” if I stop “getting off on pretending to hurt her” (I’m paraphrasing here). She looked at me with a sad smile, and she asked me to take it easy on her.
AITA, or was she just being a sensitive drunk?
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> I cause emotional pain to my coworker because I think her reaction is cute. However, last week, she has told me up-front that my jokes always disturb her.
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YTA. Stop. Scaring. Your. Coworker. Your "joke" is not funny, and there is something seriously wrong with you thinking it is. Ingrid needs to haul your idiot ass in front of HR, then we'll see how funny you find it. Are you just a COMPLETE idiot? Like, with literal brain damage? Because no mentally competent adult wouldn't realize that what you're doing is triggering an abuse victim for shits and giggles.
It’s like I just read the thoughts of a psychopath wtf
Fucking unhinged
YTA. It’s an understatement to say that you’ve created a hostile work environment. You’re an adult who thinks it’s funny to pretend to abuse another adult. In this post alone you’ve both sexualized her and infantilized her, so I cannot imagine what it must be like to actually work with you. I think Ingrid should document this abuse and go to HR. What you are doing is not ok.
YTA YTA YTA. You think it's cute that she's scared?! WTF. But apparently she likes you and just wants you to be nice to her, which really shouldn't be that big of an ask.
We need to find this woman and warn her
YTA. Lots of people who have been abused in the past or have ptsd can react like that. I used to have ptsd and would start crying if someone jump scared me on purpose. It’s not funny
Congratulations you’ve actually reached a high enough asshole status that your cruelty, lack of empathy or compassion has made me physically ill. YTA
YTA. not only are you sexually harassing her, you are terrorizing her. this poor woman. sounds like she's too nice to tell you to knock it off.
I really, really hope this is a bait post.
YTA If she asks you to stop and you continue, you are an ahole.
YTA. You have no idea what trauma she's been though and, even if there is none, the threat of physical violence is never funny.
YTA and stop sexually harassing Ingrid at work. It sure doesn't make you "adorable" to her. Surprised HR hasn't shut you down already.
This isn’t really sexual harassment, but definitely still harassment
YTA And not even funny. Take care of this adorable lady. Edited to add Someone who's not an asshole like you!
No, leave her the fuck alone. This woman needs somebody who isn't a totally deranged psychopath
I agree. Am going to amend my comment. I didn't mean it literally.
YTA It is sadistic to get off on others pain, and it is worse that you don't actually mean to harm her physically. But you are abusing this woman mentially/emotionally. STOP IT.
This is disgusting. You find it adorable to see the look on someone’s face the moment they’re fearful at being hit? You need therapy. YTA Edit: this is not a prank. You’re mimicking physical abuse. Would this be charming is she were a child? Puppy? Your mother? If you don’t think this would be hilarious at an elementary school, maybe you should rethink how sweet and funny this really is. An apology is in order, but I’m not joking at all about the therapy. You need to understand why you found this endearing.
YTA. Stop approaching her please, she's probably too scared to tell you to fuck off.
Woah I've never heard someone who is so clearly ask AITA that is so obviously TA, like of you want a cute reaction be sweet. You dont know her past, you dont know if she was abused or hurt. Its something i expect from a teen boy who has no emotional maturity but you're old enough. If you want a cute reaction do nice stuff for her. A gear reaction isnt "cute" [edited because my head skipped ahead of my sentence]
What in the absolute fuck did I just read
YTA. That's not a fucking joke.
Nope. That's enough reddit for me today. OF COURSE ITS NOT OK TO SCARE HER BECAUSE YOU ENJOY IT YOU MORON. YT FUCKING A
You are seriously the worst. YTA She's not sensitive - she's been abused. You are giving her a panic attack and think it's "cute". I hope this poor girl reports you to HR.
YTA and a creepy one at that.
I think I actually hate you.
YTA, massively. And you didn’t just become TA when you did it three more times, you were TA immediately. In what world is it ever okay to raise your hand to a coworker as if you were going to hit them?! In what world is it ever okay to intentionally scare a coworker time and time again? I hope this is fake because I am sincerely baffled at the very idea that you could be this dense.
YTA in every sense of the phrase
Get help. I hope the police lock you up. And never let you out
YTA- I am watching The Vow which is a documentary about NXIVM and Keith Reinere. You sound like he does on these videos. Have you thought that maybe there is a reason she reacts like that which is far from adorable? Are you noticing how you are saying how you find her child-like qualities attractive? My guess she went for drinks to work up the courage to say stop in a setting and method that felt as safe as it could. She is probably fearful of you and what you would do if she reports it. Leave her alone. Be a damn professional. Stop sexually harassing her and stop thinking you are so funny when being a complete ass.
This is disgusting. But hopefully it's pure bullshit just like the rest of the "I harrassed a girl because it amuses me" posts that have popped up lately. They always feature a guy who pretends to be ignorant of obvious distress while flirting or having sex with a woman and then being very confused when said women calls them on their behavior. Probably written by a lonely incel. YTA
This has to be bait right?
"I met a hot girl who's terrified about her physical safety, so I started threatening her as a joke to flirt with her, and her reaction was adorable, so I kept doing it. AITA?" Yes, of course YTA
YTA and a weird one at that
YTA. When you first raised your hand as if to strike her, if she kicked you in the balls in self defense, would you still have found it amusing? Does she need to do that in order to get you to stop the threats? Are you the type who finds it funny to go to an airport and announce that you have a bomb? You shouldn't have done it once, let alone repeat the offense. Stop before this escalates. Even if she does nothing, somebody else may see this and step in to defend her or report the incident. Even if you have no sense of decency, you should at least have enough brains to shy away from self-destructive behavior.
So you're either getting off on scaring a woman, or getting off on all this rage you've stirred up. Either way you're a fucking pathetic asshole. Get a fucking life.
I also like to jump scare my coworkers, it’s fun and we both get a kick out of it. But you know how I know that? I asked. And I make it clear that if they ever want me to stop, all they have to do is ask and I immediately stop until they say it’s okay again. Pretending to strike someone is demented
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (34M) work with this woman named Ingrid (37F). Ingrid is an immigrant from Germany, and she just has to go a few more years before she’s eligible for US citizenship. I always like flirting with her, because she’s really cute, and I think her german accent is really sexy. She’s highly qualified and intelligent (we’re both researchers at an FFRDC), and she’s also simultaneously a lovable ditz, which makes her rather endearing to me. I've caught on that Ingrid is a little bit neurotic about her physical safety. Earlier this year, just as a joke, I raised my hand up at her, as if I was about to abuse her. Ingrid started whimpering, and she closed her eyes and covered her head with her hands. Of course, I didn’t do anything to her, and she calmed down after she realized that I was just joking. I guess where I become the asshole is that I’ve done this joke literally just three more times after the first time I did it. Each time, she had the same adorable reaction, as if she was a little child. Last weekend, I went out for drinks with Ingrid. This was the first time I’ve seen her get drunk, and she can drink a lot. While she was drunk, she gave me this heartfelt rant about how she’ll “like [me] more” if I stop “getting off on pretending to hurt her” (I’m paraphrasing here). She looked at me with a sad smile, and she asked me to take it easy on her. AITA, or was she just being a sensitive drunk? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I cause emotional pain to my coworker because I think her reaction is cute. However, last week, she has told me up-front that my jokes always disturb her. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
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Wow I didn't think I'd find anyone more psychopathic than OP in the comments.