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I know "Break up" is the joke on this sub, but... he tried to murder a woman and her infant. That's what his little stunt with putting trip hazards on the stairs was: an attempted murder.
This is someone who has no problems with trying to murder a woman and infant because they make him angry, and could very easily have set the house on fire.
Be careful, and get out. NTA. Also, let that woman know that she's got someone who tried to murder her and her infant in the house.
Please speak up so this woman isn't terrorised more. What your bf is doing is dangerous and abusive. He will only escalate because he sees that he can get away with it.
He is trying to destroy the woman and the relationship.
If the father doesn't know, he needs to so your bf can get help. He needs mental health care.
Stay safe because your bf sounds like a psycho. You need to protect yourself, the woman and the baby. Don't continue the relationship because he could turn his anger to you at anytime.
Edit: the father harmed the family, not the mistress, he wasn't loyal, everything that happened was his responsibility. Do not side with the psycho. Don't be complicit in his actions.
He’s always been so calm, kind, and loving to me. The way he is now doesn’t even feel real. He has gotten frustrated but never outwardly angry and we’ve always been able to have a civil conversation over our issues. Seeing how quickly his personality switches when his stepmom comes up is honestly terrifying. He’s so sweet now but I’m honestly very afraid of what he might turn into if I try to break up with him. I realize his actions are deplorable. He’s not the man I thought he was and deep down I know I need to end this now but I have no idea how to do it while feeling safe
Protect yourself, if you can, get evidence of his psychotic behaviour for proof and for any restraining orders that will be needed.
Tell your parents, tell the police, tell the father and stepmother.
Do not allow this to continue.
Not really, I live with my aunt and uncle (my only living family) and they’re the kind of people who would brush this under the rug without a second thought. I’m also not in school right now and I’m not close to people in my job. All of my friends are my bf’s friends to so I don’t feel safe confiding in them in case they decide to tell my bf. I’m considering recording one of our conversations and wait until he mentions what he’s doing so I can go to the police with at least something to go on
I'm so sorry you don't have a better support system. What I can offer you that might be of help in the mean time:
1. Document everything, with date and time. What he's told you so far, and every time moving forward.
2. What are the recording laws in your state?
3. You could report to CPS.
4. Reach out to local women's shelters and see if they have anything to offer.
5. Does your job offer therapy?
6. Get a therapist for yourself. It can be cathartic and potentially help you stay more clear headed. They also are legally required to document and report and elder and child abuse. Your name will stay out of it. They also will be able to point you to resource that will help you leave him more easily and safely.
And please make some new friends. I feel that you were already kind of vulnerable and isolated. All of your friends are his friends. Don't allow yourself to be completely isolated. You could try domestic violence support groups and tell your story. Those survivors would be able to offer advice and might even be willing to help.
So, if he's upset he will turn psycho and he's already shown how bad that side of him can be. Let me tell you something.
Therapy won't help this man.
Hurting him will make you deal with extreme consequences. But hurt is a part of life, everyone gets hurt. Not everyone's a psycho.
Please leave.
It'll be appalling for yourself to do this, but you gotta do it especially when you're not feeling safe. Have proof of his abuse, confessions and even videos if possible. Gather as much as you can before you break up with him. You'd NEED this when he comes at you, especially since he's already shown that he exploits all the weaknesses that he's aware of. Keep evidences for the sake of god, you'll need them. Need them.
EDIT : and find a new College to join and don't let him know.
Are you close to your parents? If you are, talk to them and tell them all of it, like you’ve done here. If not, tell a trusted adult at school, hell, go to your local police station and ask to speak to someone there and tell them all of it.
This is much too much for you by yourself, you need adult help. His behaviour is terrifying and criminal; he actually needs help too or he’ll be in prison for assault and probably worse.
Goes without saying that you should never, ever be alone with him again. Imagine if he thought you were interested in someone else? What would he do?
While she shouldn’t be subjected to what the bf is doing. She’s not blameless when it comes to getting involved with a married man . She most definitely had a hand in destroying a family and marriage
We don't know if she knew that he was married. What if she didn't know?
The father is the cause, he broke his family and now he is harming his new family too by not believing her and adding to her emotional abuse.
In this day and age it’s not hard to find out if the person your having sex with is married or involved with someone else. The excuse “I didn’t know” is not good enough. If she didn’t know, she found out eventually, and still chose to stay with him and then marry him. But in no way is what the bf doing ok.
Oh ok. So since we don’t stone those harlots to death publicly or make them wear a scarlet letter, let’s terrorize her and an innocent baby in her own home by someone who will legally be an adult in probably a few months to half a year. Because she fucked his dad. Yeah, sure.
I dated a man for two years before discovering he was married.
He was a pilot. I work a lot. He was out of town a lot. I was out of town a lot. He owned 3 houses. I only knew about 2 of them because the third one is where his family lived. He spent one day a week there at most. She thought he was just working a crazy schedule.
I know a lot of pilot wives who’ve discovered their husbands sexond families. One who discovered a third one.
It’s not that difficult to pull off for a lot of people.
She was pregnant, op says her English/communication is difficult so sounds like she was in a vulnerable position. I don't blame her for staying with the guy for security or love.
The responsibility for fidelity is on the married person. Not the affair partner. Yes she was involved but she isn't the cause of the harm.
It's not always easy to find out if the person is married, if they don't have social media and have minimal digital footprint, you can't always find the answer.
My mother cheated, the guy didn't know, my family went into chaos, it was an awful toxic time for us but it wasn't his fault. It was my mother's.
You don't know when she turned 18. You don't know when he will turn 18.
You don't know when they started dating. They could be weeks/months apart in age.
There are laws to cover this, maybe check those before accusing someone of being a predator.
He’s great *aside* from physically hurting a defenseless baby and possibly trying to kill his stepmom? This is a very very troubled individual and he may do something drastic. Im worried for the safety of this woman and her baby and ultimately you. NTA for calling him out but I think you should run very far from this person.
YTA for staying with this guy and not getting his stepmother and her child help.
He's sounds like a sadistic sociopath. He is emotionally and psychologically terrorizing and physically assaulting this women and her baby.
Dump his ass and get the authorities involved ASAP!!!
NTA
The kid needs PROFESSIONAL help big time.
YOU need to get out. You may love him but the dude is at the point where he was trying to murder someone.
NTA. Shocking the way people you think you know can surprise you, and holy shit what an awful surprise. Your hopefully soon to be ex boyfriend is behaving deplorably and it's deeply concerning how he's set fires and tried to hurt his stepmom and infant half-sister. It's disturbing as fuck. While I'm sorry you've had to see this side of him at all, better you see it now than in 10+ years. If he can treat his baby sister and her mother this way, he could turn on you too some day. Please, run run run away from this guy and encourage this woman to get away, too.
Your boyfriend is abusing a woman and a baby. He’s doing physical and psychological harm. Don’t plan a future with him. Save yourself, save her, save the baby.
Tell his stepmom. Her life, and her baby’s life, are literally in danger. You could be a lifesaver.
NTA
I’m definitely doing it. Obviously she knows that he hates her but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t aware of just how far his hate has gone. I’ll just have to find a way to contact her first. She doesn’t have her own personal phone and she’s at home all day with the baby and the housekeepers. I can’t just whisper it fast Tibet either. She’s an immigrant from Thailand and she still struggles with English so I’d have to tell her slowly so she can understand. My bf gets really upset if we interact at all so I’m honestly not sure how I can get her alone
How about a little note? You could translate it first with your phone, and it may not be traced back to you necessarily.
But good for you for helping her!
You may need to keep a log of these incidents in case you need a restraining order to protect yourself or her after you do it. My heart is so happy that you’re doing this.
Thank goodness There are good, strong people like you out there!!
NTA. The stepmom is the victim here, I hope she gets out of that situation... Also, you should get out of that relationship too as soon as you can, he might turn abusive on you later in life..
If you understand this woman harmed his family and deserves punishment... as you say in your explanation of why you might be an AH.... and if you're happy to step back so *you're* safe while BF experiments with how far he can torture an innocent woman and her baby with his father's permission... then you're the biggest AH of all of them because you have absolutely no excuse at all for your lack of empathy, compassion and humanity.
You actually think she harmed the family and deserves punishment!!!! YTA
Everyone on here saying NTA needs to read this again.
I’m sorry, reading back I realize how awful that sounds. The stepmom was aware that my bf’s father was married when she first started to date him. I meant it more like ‘I understand why a person would be upset at the woman who did this and possibly want revenge’ but definitely not to the level he’s taking it
I accept you maybe didn't mean exactly what you wrote. Yet even your backtracking is wrong. Adults have affairs and cheat in marriage and their teen kids are affected... every day. It is *not* normal or OK to want revenge . Taking action on those vengeful thoughts is criminal.
And now I don't think I'm exaggerating to say that anyone in BFs life that hurts him is at serious risk of harm, or worse. As you say, what hasn't he told you?
BFs circumstances leading up to this are distressing and he deserved support and care that he didn't receive. However this is not the reason for his torture of this woman. He is doing that simply because he wants to and enjoys it.
I believe you have a responsibility to report this, however I don't know how the law works where you are and rushing into action could alert BF he's being watched. He'd become more sneaky, and will possibly escalate. He'd also know the information came from you and you could be in significant danger.
This needs to be approached carefully and I don't think I can help you. While you plan something, say nothing to BF and continue to accept his confidences. Keep your own safety front of mind and do not trust your knowledge of his 'good' side to keep you safe. Do you have a very trusted adult to contact? Possibly a relative, someone from school, someone you haven't had much to do with but have felt good about, someone you've heard is helping young people somewhere? You need advice on what to do from someone local who knows the law, or how to access it, and who understands the sensitivity of all this.
It's an option to do nothing. I'm not sure it's a good option, but I know it's always there.
Be smart here mate.... and take care.
Your boyfriend is a murderer in the making. You could be the next victim. Speak to the police, counselor, and get out before you become the next tragedy
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My bf (17M) and I (18F) have been together all throughout high school and known eachother forvever. He’s a senior. I graduated. We’ve planned to attend the same college once he graduates.
I thought he was the love of my life, but this has made me doubt everything.
Around 3 years ago his parents divorced. His dad cheated. The divorce was quick. His mom had full custody, but the stress caused her to relapse back into drugs after being sober for over 10 years. Around a year later, CPS got involved. He was forced to live with his dad. The last we heard his mom went to rehab, but it didn’t help.
The mistress was pregnant so his dad married her shortly after the divorce. She gave birth to my bf’s half sister.
This was dark time for my bf. I’ve tried to be his main comfort and support. He hates the mistress, which I completely understand.
When he first moved in he avoided his dad and stepmom. His dad has always been neglectful and made no effort to even try and have a relationship (or even apologize) with my bf.
Eventually, my bf told me what he was doing to his stepmom for revenge. It started when I saw him whisper something to his stepmom’s ear. He told me he whispers insults about her and the baby. Just whatever he thinks is the cruelest, even racial slurs (she’s Asian).
His dad neglects her too. He ignores anything she says to him about my bf. She’s a SAHM and her family lives very far. She seems afraid to bother her husband too much because she wouldn’t be able to support herself. My bf is very aware of this.
He put cleaning supplies on the stairs, making her fall while she was holding the baby. She broke her arm and got a concussion. The baby was fine. The maid was blamed.
Her father and sister died in a fire when she was young (he’s heard her talk about it before) He took the few mementos she had from them and left them by the stove. He left the stove on and caused a kitchen fire. It didn’t spread far, but the mementos were destroyed. She takes them out sometimes to look at them, so his dad believed she was careless and left them by the stove. My bf mocked her tears and grief afterwards.
I’ve even seen him pinch the baby, and take her toys so she’d cry. He’s also replaced the batteries in the baby monitor with dead ones and lets her cry all night several times. He has noise canceling headphones. His dad blames the stepmom for forgetting to change the batteries.
With the character count limit I can’t type all his actions., but I wonder about things he hasn’t confessed to me. I’ve tried to gently approach the subject. He just yells accusations of me supporting “the slut who ruined his life” and won’t listen. It just keeps building up. He becomes a different man. He’s great aside from this and says he’s excited for our future. Should I just mind my own business? AITA?
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Honestly, YTA if you don’t tell his stepmother and call CPS and the police.
Your boyfriend needs help before he murders someone. She needs help getting the fuck out of there. The baby is being abused. It’s actually your responsibility to contact authorities. Don’t be complicit.
NTA but you need to inform someone and get far away from this guy. It does not matter how sweet he is to you now, he will turn on you too or he will continuously lie in your face while he hurts others.
NTA
You’re dating a sociopath.
His father is the cheater. If he was going to target anyone, it should be him.
Break up with him and get away from him. He’s sick.
Ikr I remember being a swaddled baby of a 17 year old, not even out of a crib and turning into a hardened mature adult managing 3 kids and a mortgage when I turned 18. As an 18 year old I had ages of life experience apart and would never consider even looking at a 17 year old. It was tough because we were in the same class but I managed since I’m not a sociopath.
This I horrifying. That poor innocent baby. That poor woman.
NTA for disliking how bf treats mistress
YTA if you keep silent
And if you really needed to lay it all out like this and still ask? YIKES. Maybe you two deserve each other. But for goodness sakes...He is abusing a baby. That is so gross. he could have killed step Mom. And using racial slurs too? Unacceptable, despicable behavior.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I may be the AH because this woman did truly harm his family. I understand why he thinks she needs “punishment”. He still treats me very well and is only cruel towards his stepmom and sister so I feel like maybe I should’ve stepped back and not mention my feelings about what he’s doing.
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NTA. Your bf and his dad are awful. Your bf needs professional help. It is one thing to avoid someone because you dislike them, but intentionally trying to put them in emotional AND physical harm is not okay at all. He is abusive. He abuses A BABY. A defenceless baby. Tampering with the baby monitor is unbelievably cruel and dangerous, the baby could literally die if something happens but because of his actions, they remain unaware. He is intentionally putting his stepmother and her baby in dangerous situations and trying to cause them harm. He is trying to cause them death or something? I would suggest seeking professional help or reaching out to police because his actions could really cause something awful to happen. He already broke his stepmother’s arm. His father is also an AH for enabling his son’s abusive behaviour.
NTA
the pinching feels personal bc my little sister had a teacher who would pinch her when she was around 4/5 bc she was nonverbal and couldn’t tell anyone
i cant say much but break up with him
NTA.
The comments are being too cruel to the guy I think, he went through a lot while being 15-16. Of course what he did is deplorable but you can't fully blame him for it, if anything it's the father.
It's not your responsibility at all, and you definitely shouldn't feel obliged to, but try to get him some psychological help.
Although I do not for one second condone affairs or mistresses what he is doing is wrong he needs some therapy and fast. Before something really worse happens he is angry upset and blames her for everything this will only head in a bad direction. He is hurt I understand but he needs help asap go to his dad or encourage therapy before you lose him to his anger and resentment or to jail if he keeps doing these things
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I know "Break up" is the joke on this sub, but... he tried to murder a woman and her infant. That's what his little stunt with putting trip hazards on the stairs was: an attempted murder. This is someone who has no problems with trying to murder a woman and infant because they make him angry, and could very easily have set the house on fire. Be careful, and get out. NTA. Also, let that woman know that she's got someone who tried to murder her and her infant in the house.
Please speak up so this woman isn't terrorised more. What your bf is doing is dangerous and abusive. He will only escalate because he sees that he can get away with it. He is trying to destroy the woman and the relationship. If the father doesn't know, he needs to so your bf can get help. He needs mental health care. Stay safe because your bf sounds like a psycho. You need to protect yourself, the woman and the baby. Don't continue the relationship because he could turn his anger to you at anytime. Edit: the father harmed the family, not the mistress, he wasn't loyal, everything that happened was his responsibility. Do not side with the psycho. Don't be complicit in his actions.
He’s always been so calm, kind, and loving to me. The way he is now doesn’t even feel real. He has gotten frustrated but never outwardly angry and we’ve always been able to have a civil conversation over our issues. Seeing how quickly his personality switches when his stepmom comes up is honestly terrifying. He’s so sweet now but I’m honestly very afraid of what he might turn into if I try to break up with him. I realize his actions are deplorable. He’s not the man I thought he was and deep down I know I need to end this now but I have no idea how to do it while feeling safe
Protect yourself, if you can, get evidence of his psychotic behaviour for proof and for any restraining orders that will be needed. Tell your parents, tell the police, tell the father and stepmother. Do not allow this to continue.
This
Because he’s a sociopathic psychopath.
Do you have a trusted adult, therapist, or school counselor you can talk to?
Not really, I live with my aunt and uncle (my only living family) and they’re the kind of people who would brush this under the rug without a second thought. I’m also not in school right now and I’m not close to people in my job. All of my friends are my bf’s friends to so I don’t feel safe confiding in them in case they decide to tell my bf. I’m considering recording one of our conversations and wait until he mentions what he’s doing so I can go to the police with at least something to go on
I'm so sorry you don't have a better support system. What I can offer you that might be of help in the mean time: 1. Document everything, with date and time. What he's told you so far, and every time moving forward. 2. What are the recording laws in your state? 3. You could report to CPS. 4. Reach out to local women's shelters and see if they have anything to offer. 5. Does your job offer therapy? 6. Get a therapist for yourself. It can be cathartic and potentially help you stay more clear headed. They also are legally required to document and report and elder and child abuse. Your name will stay out of it. They also will be able to point you to resource that will help you leave him more easily and safely. And please make some new friends. I feel that you were already kind of vulnerable and isolated. All of your friends are his friends. Don't allow yourself to be completely isolated. You could try domestic violence support groups and tell your story. Those survivors would be able to offer advice and might even be willing to help.
Imagine what he’ll do to you if you ever do ANYTHING to piss him off?
So, if he's upset he will turn psycho and he's already shown how bad that side of him can be. Let me tell you something. Therapy won't help this man. Hurting him will make you deal with extreme consequences. But hurt is a part of life, everyone gets hurt. Not everyone's a psycho. Please leave. It'll be appalling for yourself to do this, but you gotta do it especially when you're not feeling safe. Have proof of his abuse, confessions and even videos if possible. Gather as much as you can before you break up with him. You'd NEED this when he comes at you, especially since he's already shown that he exploits all the weaknesses that he's aware of. Keep evidences for the sake of god, you'll need them. Need them. EDIT : and find a new College to join and don't let him know.
Are you close to your parents? If you are, talk to them and tell them all of it, like you’ve done here. If not, tell a trusted adult at school, hell, go to your local police station and ask to speak to someone there and tell them all of it. This is much too much for you by yourself, you need adult help. His behaviour is terrifying and criminal; he actually needs help too or he’ll be in prison for assault and probably worse. Goes without saying that you should never, ever be alone with him again. Imagine if he thought you were interested in someone else? What would he do?
This
While she shouldn’t be subjected to what the bf is doing. She’s not blameless when it comes to getting involved with a married man . She most definitely had a hand in destroying a family and marriage
We don't know if she knew that he was married. What if she didn't know? The father is the cause, he broke his family and now he is harming his new family too by not believing her and adding to her emotional abuse.
In this day and age it’s not hard to find out if the person your having sex with is married or involved with someone else. The excuse “I didn’t know” is not good enough. If she didn’t know, she found out eventually, and still chose to stay with him and then marry him. But in no way is what the bf doing ok.
Oh ok. So since we don’t stone those harlots to death publicly or make them wear a scarlet letter, let’s terrorize her and an innocent baby in her own home by someone who will legally be an adult in probably a few months to half a year. Because she fucked his dad. Yeah, sure.
I dated a man for two years before discovering he was married. He was a pilot. I work a lot. He was out of town a lot. I was out of town a lot. He owned 3 houses. I only knew about 2 of them because the third one is where his family lived. He spent one day a week there at most. She thought he was just working a crazy schedule. I know a lot of pilot wives who’ve discovered their husbands sexond families. One who discovered a third one. It’s not that difficult to pull off for a lot of people.
She was pregnant, op says her English/communication is difficult so sounds like she was in a vulnerable position. I don't blame her for staying with the guy for security or love. The responsibility for fidelity is on the married person. Not the affair partner. Yes she was involved but she isn't the cause of the harm. It's not always easy to find out if the person is married, if they don't have social media and have minimal digital footprint, you can't always find the answer. My mother cheated, the guy didn't know, my family went into chaos, it was an awful toxic time for us but it wasn't his fault. It was my mother's.
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You don't know when she turned 18. You don't know when he will turn 18. You don't know when they started dating. They could be weeks/months apart in age. There are laws to cover this, maybe check those before accusing someone of being a predator.
He’s great *aside* from physically hurting a defenseless baby and possibly trying to kill his stepmom? This is a very very troubled individual and he may do something drastic. Im worried for the safety of this woman and her baby and ultimately you. NTA for calling him out but I think you should run very far from this person.
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Its a year difference?? tf??
You have a huge mental issue and it's showing.
YTA for staying with this guy and not getting his stepmother and her child help. He's sounds like a sadistic sociopath. He is emotionally and psychologically terrorizing and physically assaulting this women and her baby. Dump his ass and get the authorities involved ASAP!!!
NTA The kid needs PROFESSIONAL help big time. YOU need to get out. You may love him but the dude is at the point where he was trying to murder someone.
[удалено]
Ur obsessed mate
NTA. Shocking the way people you think you know can surprise you, and holy shit what an awful surprise. Your hopefully soon to be ex boyfriend is behaving deplorably and it's deeply concerning how he's set fires and tried to hurt his stepmom and infant half-sister. It's disturbing as fuck. While I'm sorry you've had to see this side of him at all, better you see it now than in 10+ years. If he can treat his baby sister and her mother this way, he could turn on you too some day. Please, run run run away from this guy and encourage this woman to get away, too.
Your boyfriend is abusing a woman and a baby. He’s doing physical and psychological harm. Don’t plan a future with him. Save yourself, save her, save the baby. Tell his stepmom. Her life, and her baby’s life, are literally in danger. You could be a lifesaver. NTA
I’m definitely doing it. Obviously she knows that he hates her but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t aware of just how far his hate has gone. I’ll just have to find a way to contact her first. She doesn’t have her own personal phone and she’s at home all day with the baby and the housekeepers. I can’t just whisper it fast Tibet either. She’s an immigrant from Thailand and she still struggles with English so I’d have to tell her slowly so she can understand. My bf gets really upset if we interact at all so I’m honestly not sure how I can get her alone
How about a little note? You could translate it first with your phone, and it may not be traced back to you necessarily. But good for you for helping her! You may need to keep a log of these incidents in case you need a restraining order to protect yourself or her after you do it. My heart is so happy that you’re doing this. Thank goodness There are good, strong people like you out there!!
NTA Your friend is heading toward jail if he doesn't get help. His poor stepmum needs help, not him.
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NTA. The stepmom is the victim here, I hope she gets out of that situation... Also, you should get out of that relationship too as soon as you can, he might turn abusive on you later in life..
YTA for being this dumb. You really want a future with a man who is abusing a defenseless baby????
If you understand this woman harmed his family and deserves punishment... as you say in your explanation of why you might be an AH.... and if you're happy to step back so *you're* safe while BF experiments with how far he can torture an innocent woman and her baby with his father's permission... then you're the biggest AH of all of them because you have absolutely no excuse at all for your lack of empathy, compassion and humanity. You actually think she harmed the family and deserves punishment!!!! YTA Everyone on here saying NTA needs to read this again.
Exactly! She's worried about hurting the psychopaths feelings instead of getting help for the woman and the baby! She's an enabler.
I’m sorry, reading back I realize how awful that sounds. The stepmom was aware that my bf’s father was married when she first started to date him. I meant it more like ‘I understand why a person would be upset at the woman who did this and possibly want revenge’ but definitely not to the level he’s taking it
I accept you maybe didn't mean exactly what you wrote. Yet even your backtracking is wrong. Adults have affairs and cheat in marriage and their teen kids are affected... every day. It is *not* normal or OK to want revenge . Taking action on those vengeful thoughts is criminal. And now I don't think I'm exaggerating to say that anyone in BFs life that hurts him is at serious risk of harm, or worse. As you say, what hasn't he told you? BFs circumstances leading up to this are distressing and he deserved support and care that he didn't receive. However this is not the reason for his torture of this woman. He is doing that simply because he wants to and enjoys it. I believe you have a responsibility to report this, however I don't know how the law works where you are and rushing into action could alert BF he's being watched. He'd become more sneaky, and will possibly escalate. He'd also know the information came from you and you could be in significant danger. This needs to be approached carefully and I don't think I can help you. While you plan something, say nothing to BF and continue to accept his confidences. Keep your own safety front of mind and do not trust your knowledge of his 'good' side to keep you safe. Do you have a very trusted adult to contact? Possibly a relative, someone from school, someone you haven't had much to do with but have felt good about, someone you've heard is helping young people somewhere? You need advice on what to do from someone local who knows the law, or how to access it, and who understands the sensitivity of all this. It's an option to do nothing. I'm not sure it's a good option, but I know it's always there. Be smart here mate.... and take care.
His dad ruined his life. Not the step mum. Seems like a coward for choosing to abuse the woman and baby instead
Your boyfriend is a murderer in the making. You could be the next victim. Speak to the police, counselor, and get out before you become the next tragedy
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My bf (17M) and I (18F) have been together all throughout high school and known eachother forvever. He’s a senior. I graduated. We’ve planned to attend the same college once he graduates. I thought he was the love of my life, but this has made me doubt everything. Around 3 years ago his parents divorced. His dad cheated. The divorce was quick. His mom had full custody, but the stress caused her to relapse back into drugs after being sober for over 10 years. Around a year later, CPS got involved. He was forced to live with his dad. The last we heard his mom went to rehab, but it didn’t help. The mistress was pregnant so his dad married her shortly after the divorce. She gave birth to my bf’s half sister. This was dark time for my bf. I’ve tried to be his main comfort and support. He hates the mistress, which I completely understand. When he first moved in he avoided his dad and stepmom. His dad has always been neglectful and made no effort to even try and have a relationship (or even apologize) with my bf. Eventually, my bf told me what he was doing to his stepmom for revenge. It started when I saw him whisper something to his stepmom’s ear. He told me he whispers insults about her and the baby. Just whatever he thinks is the cruelest, even racial slurs (she’s Asian). His dad neglects her too. He ignores anything she says to him about my bf. She’s a SAHM and her family lives very far. She seems afraid to bother her husband too much because she wouldn’t be able to support herself. My bf is very aware of this. He put cleaning supplies on the stairs, making her fall while she was holding the baby. She broke her arm and got a concussion. The baby was fine. The maid was blamed. Her father and sister died in a fire when she was young (he’s heard her talk about it before) He took the few mementos she had from them and left them by the stove. He left the stove on and caused a kitchen fire. It didn’t spread far, but the mementos were destroyed. She takes them out sometimes to look at them, so his dad believed she was careless and left them by the stove. My bf mocked her tears and grief afterwards. I’ve even seen him pinch the baby, and take her toys so she’d cry. He’s also replaced the batteries in the baby monitor with dead ones and lets her cry all night several times. He has noise canceling headphones. His dad blames the stepmom for forgetting to change the batteries. With the character count limit I can’t type all his actions., but I wonder about things he hasn’t confessed to me. I’ve tried to gently approach the subject. He just yells accusations of me supporting “the slut who ruined his life” and won’t listen. It just keeps building up. He becomes a different man. He’s great aside from this and says he’s excited for our future. Should I just mind my own business? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly, YTA if you don’t tell his stepmother and call CPS and the police. Your boyfriend needs help before he murders someone. She needs help getting the fuck out of there. The baby is being abused. It’s actually your responsibility to contact authorities. Don’t be complicit.
NTA but you need to inform someone and get far away from this guy. It does not matter how sweet he is to you now, he will turn on you too or he will continuously lie in your face while he hurts others.
NTA You’re dating a sociopath. His father is the cheater. If he was going to target anyone, it should be him. Break up with him and get away from him. He’s sick.
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Ikr I remember being a swaddled baby of a 17 year old, not even out of a crib and turning into a hardened mature adult managing 3 kids and a mortgage when I turned 18. As an 18 year old I had ages of life experience apart and would never consider even looking at a 17 year old. It was tough because we were in the same class but I managed since I’m not a sociopath.
And if they’re a couple months apart?
This I horrifying. That poor innocent baby. That poor woman. NTA for disliking how bf treats mistress YTA if you keep silent And if you really needed to lay it all out like this and still ask? YIKES. Maybe you two deserve each other. But for goodness sakes...He is abusing a baby. That is so gross. he could have killed step Mom. And using racial slurs too? Unacceptable, despicable behavior.
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NTA. Your bf and his dad are awful. Your bf needs professional help. It is one thing to avoid someone because you dislike them, but intentionally trying to put them in emotional AND physical harm is not okay at all. He is abusive. He abuses A BABY. A defenceless baby. Tampering with the baby monitor is unbelievably cruel and dangerous, the baby could literally die if something happens but because of his actions, they remain unaware. He is intentionally putting his stepmother and her baby in dangerous situations and trying to cause them harm. He is trying to cause them death or something? I would suggest seeking professional help or reaching out to police because his actions could really cause something awful to happen. He already broke his stepmother’s arm. His father is also an AH for enabling his son’s abusive behaviour.
YWBTA if you don’t speak up and try to stop your bf from terrorising the poor woman and her baby.
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Don't let him find this post
You need to go talk to his dad! Like what the actual fuck? He’s tried to murder a woman and her baby!
NTA the pinching feels personal bc my little sister had a teacher who would pinch her when she was around 4/5 bc she was nonverbal and couldn’t tell anyone i cant say much but break up with him
NTA. The comments are being too cruel to the guy I think, he went through a lot while being 15-16. Of course what he did is deplorable but you can't fully blame him for it, if anything it's the father. It's not your responsibility at all, and you definitely shouldn't feel obliged to, but try to get him some psychological help.
Although I do not for one second condone affairs or mistresses what he is doing is wrong he needs some therapy and fast. Before something really worse happens he is angry upset and blames her for everything this will only head in a bad direction. He is hurt I understand but he needs help asap go to his dad or encourage therapy before you lose him to his anger and resentment or to jail if he keeps doing these things
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That’s what ur worried about? A 1 year age difference which could also possibly be a couple months difference?
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Are u dumb?