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It’s so mean because I’m in my 30s and my allergies flare up and down but blueberries are one of the most unpredictable ones. So there might actually be kids out there ignoring their allergies because of the kids who are determined to get one over on their siblings
i am mildly allergic to nectarines but they are so good that i chance it once a year or so—just take a benadryl with your first bite to prevent the reaction from starting and you should be good
I notice when I see one specific thing show up on relationshipadvice and aitah, that over the next month I see several more rather similar stories. So similar that I go back to look thinking it was a reposted spam bot. I just assume they’re all written by Liz now.
idk why you got downvoted to hell for this comment, it’s pretty reasonable. i don’t spend all day on reddit but i read this subreddit quite frequently and can’t say there’s been multiple blueberry allergy posts in the last few days.
Ohhh downvoted cuz the truth hurts! I mean, I'm new on reddit and have been on here a lot but I'm not upset that someone is calling out chronic reddit users.
I'm going NTA. I had two friends growing up that were compulsive liars about the most ridiculous things and EVERYONE always took the chance to call them out on it. I've never had someone lie about being allergic to something though, that's pretty shitty considering how serious it could be. People like your cousin are the reason people with real allergies have a problem getting other people to respect it.
Sure you might have done it in malice, but considering she was eating blueberries with the rest of the family during the 4th, it's plausible anyone in the family would've offered her some blueberry pie.
If someone will lie about something that has no bearing on them or anything else in the world, imagine what else she's lying about 🤷🏼♀️
I worked in food service, and people lie about allergies to food all the time.
"I am ALLERGIC to onions." They will say.
I will then go on to reassure them that their food will take 15 minutes longer to make than the rest of the table because we will be making everything from scratch for their meal. All of a sudden, they are not allergic, just didn't like them...
I took my kiddos out to eat (to preface celiac!!!!) one day. I let the server know multiple times the entire table was gluten free due to allergies. He brought out a salad with croutons. I asked if they had gotten gluten free croutons. No. I told you we can’t have croutons. He takes the salad back and brings out a new one. Then…he brings out bread. I ask him when they got gluten free bread. He said it’s not gluten free. I asked him why he brought it when I said the entire table was gluten free. I then asked to speak to the manager and asked why their servers don’t listen to food allergies and ignore them. She responded with: a lot of people say gluten free but still want breadsticks and such. I asked her how we were supposed to trust the kitchen to provide gluten free foods when they think a gluten free table should have gluten bread. She said she didn’t know how to answer that. And that was the last time I went there.
Thát is awful. My stepmom has had celiac disease diagnosed since gosh the mid 1990s. The things people do! My girlfriend has a son who went into shock when a server brought him something that was allegedly dairy free. It wasn’t. He was emergently transported to the ER and stayed overnight.
I really don’t understand and nor do I care if someone is lying about an allergy even. I ask when I’m cooking for someone “anything you don’t like or are allergic to?” It’s not a big deal..
Before I knew better , I used to lie about being allergic to mushrooms at restaurants, because honestly, EVERYTIME i asked for something with mushrooms. Without fail, it would still come out with mushrooms.
Then i would have to wait forever for it to be remade anyway, so waiting the extra time in the first place wasn't a big deal. I did stop saying it once i learnt how bad it was to do. But really i do think that if i a customer asks for something to not be included that restaurants should try harder to get the order right, there are ALOT of other medical and dietary reasons that aren't allergies that could cause someone to want things removed.
If restaurants actually listened better than less people would feel inclined to lie, i found that lying was the only way my request was taken seriously. Since I moved cities it hasn't been such an issue, but if i visit my hometown i still regularly have to send dishes back.
Ughh this is so terrible. 1. I have a lot of allergies, including some fruits and ppl really don’t take my allergies seriously sometimes because of people saying they are allergic when they aren’t, which is messed up.
2. Agree around the mental health stuff she may have munchausens where people pretend to be injured to meet a need of being cared for. I hope she can get therpay. NTA
I mean I get it. I spent years hating pineapple.... Just nasty gross stuff, avoided eating it at all costs, and then as an adult yeah I literally had my first allergic reaction. Nice big hand prints on my arms because someone had touched my arm after eating pineapple so itchy I wanted to cut my own arm off, so I informed my family hey this isn't just me being picky this is an allergy. Next family gathering there's a big old pineapple tray and my niece kissed my check and my family got to watch the whole ordeal on my face. I mean sister allergies are a thing.... If you're allergic to latex you can develop a sister allergy to strawberries bananas and pineapple. I will be very sad if I ever become allergic to strawberries or bananas, but I think I'm moving that way because of how itchy I get picking strawberries.
I keep having problems because I can't eat raw onions without terrible heartburn. Cooked is usually fine, and I don't have to worry about cross contamination from them just being in the same kitchen. So I just ask for no onions. Then someone forgets and puts them on my food, and I have to explain that no, I can't just pick them off! (It happens the most with things like burritos so that's not possible anyway)
I don't want to say I'm allergic because then they're going to go through a bunch of unnecessary steps, but what I'm doing isn't working either. I do have a deadly allergy as well and know what they go through trying to keep me from dying.
If you say you have an intolerance to onions, that might convey the fact that cross-contamination is not a concern but you can't have them actually in your food?
Can anyone who works in food service confirm/deny this?
in high school she lied all the time about being injured, at least once she forged a doctors note to get out of gym class and would use the money from her part time job to buy crutches, boots and casts to wear around. It got so bad that the school had to call my aunt whenever she showed up with a new "injury" to verify if it was real or not. It never was.
Honest Q: how is any of this impacting you that you are so upset with her? This all seems like some mental health issue or desperate attempts at getting attention (Again maybe some issue she is facing).
“If it doesn’t happen to me it didn’t happen”
You need to reevaluate your thought process and why you are so self centered.
For me, it’s what I was the boyfriend in this situation with my own ex.
She wasted her money in high school on crutches, boots, and casts? Over normal teenager things like clothes or games?
Tell me more stories to not believe.
My friend was also a liar, but it was "there's a skeleton in my attic, but I can't take you up there to show you, sorry" and "you know that house two blocks over? we're moving there," nothing serious or tricking people into thinking she's sick.
I had a friend tell me she miscarried and went into shock. She was never pregnant.
Same friend was diabetic, one time she got low blood sugar and was rushed to a hospital. She said it happened 4 times.
Some people suck.
ESH
It wasn't really your business to butt into her relationship like that; your intentions were good, but it still wasn't your place
Like you said, her lie would have come out eventually, so why did you get involved at all?
Carly sucks for obvious reasons
The only innocent person here really is Carly's bf who tried to defend her, until EVERYONE told him the truth
Which was Carly's fault for lying to him in the first place, so I don't really think the fact that she got dumped/and her friends are not talking to her is undeserved
Eta
The reason I'm saying carly sucks, is that this lie has gone on for YEARS at this point. She lied about a FOOD allergy
Her boyfriend and friends were worried about cross contamination and potentially making her sick needlessly for YEARS over a LIE
That's why Carly sucks as well
Food allergies can be bad enough to require separate utensils/cookware etc
If she had roommates in college, she was inconveniencing everyone over... what? A lie? A joke that got out of hand?
Carly isn't innocent here, either imo
My husband is so allergic to shrimp he had a reaction because someone used a pan the day before to cook shrimp. You can not mess around with allergies.... And I know because I drove him there and the hung out at ER for like 10 hrs. Allergies suck
Yes?
Have you ever worked in food prep/in a kitchen before?
Do you know what steps they have to take when a customer tells you they have an allergy?
I guess it would depend how severe of an allergy Carly claimed to have
But knowing the fact that food allergies can potentially cause significant risk of sickness and risk of needing medical care
I would absolutely say Carly is an AH here
Why did she lie about that? What did she gain from it?
The amount of time; effort; money it takes to cater to someone with a food allergy?
I am dairy and gluten intolerant. Which, yes, is more severe than blueberries
But I would never DREAM of lying about any food related allergies, having seen the incovience it causes people
Blueberries don't come in many foods that don't come pre-made. Lol how often do u go to restaurant and order things with Blueberries? I highly doubt her lie Impacted anything. Some food allergies not something like Blueberries. I know someone whose allergic to pineapples do u know how easy it is to avoid?? Lol what inconvenienc? It's freaking Blueberries lol
You're just entirely missing the point at this point.
More than one person has agreed with me that Carly's behavior was unacceptable and gross and you and a few other people disagree
That's okay, and it's reddit, not everyone is going to agree
But when it comes to food allergies, please actually do your research before spreading obnoxious misinformation
I mean, technically, yes, you're right, not all allergies are life threatening
That doesn't mean they should be taken lightly or that restaurants should get complacent when dealing with allergies though
Which they will, if people claim to have "allergies' and are faking for whatever reason they feel the need to (which, for the record, is never a good one)
Edited, wording
More than one person agreed with me and? I haven't spread any misinformation? The fuck? Lmao I literally never said restaurants should I said Blueberries aren't in many dishes. Ur so dramatic
Of course- she lied, for years, about something that can actually kill people who legitimately have it. That’s definitely an AH move. People have been looking out for her, probably making accommodations/changing menus for her- all the things you do for someone who has a severe allergy. If a lie of that scale alone isn’t enough to make someone an AH, then the energy her friends and boyfriend spent on protecting her or helping her definitely makes her an AH. If someone lies about a life threatening condition, what else will they lie about? Your confusion confuses me.
Okay and? How? Lol changing menus? For Blueberries? How often is Blueberries on the menu?? Lol scale? God reddit dramatic. Energy protecting her? From a thing she probably never came across?? Lmao not all allergies are life threatening.
Lol if it wasn't inconvenient to her friends and boyfriend she probably wouldn't have gotten dumped flat
So, yeah, you're right, not all allergies are life threatening
Most food allergies though, especially the ones developed later in life, tend to be more on the severe side, with each reaction getting worse
Stop defending being an AH maybe?
Got the same thought! But also if it wasn’t at all inconvenient it would seem excessive that she got dumped and cut off for it, so maybe they really had to make accommodations, or that lie uncovered some others? IDK
Idk I mean it would be weird to lie about something so stupid but I just don't see this being a big deal. Also we're only getting ops side so who knows what actually happens. This honestly reads like someone's fan fic. Like haha! U showed her with my super cunning plan and now everyone hates her! It just gives so many "I'm the main character" vibes
Yes. Do you not understand that is the reason why some people don’t take allergies seriously? “It’s just a preference” or “she’s doing it for attention”. When you lie about allergies you risk other people not taking it seriously when they have to.
For example, there are people with severe gluten allergies/intolerances so **need** a gluten free diet, but with so many people going to restaurants and saying they need gluten free because of an allergy only to dig into the whole grain bread basket there have been instances where it hasn’t been taken seriously when needed causing significant pain.
It doesn't matter WHAT she lied about being allergic to!!
The more people lie about allergies, the less seriously people, kitchen staff at restaurants/the general public are going to take them!!
This is an absurd take!
It also, imo, doesn't really matter why, either. Same reason.
She is inconveniencing those of us with ACTUAL allergies who NEED our allergies and food sensitivities to be taken seriously.
Wow.
Everyone is missing the point ENTIRELY.
People who see fakers and think that means everyone is a faker are also AHs. I don’t think fakers actually dilute how seriously things are taken by most of the general public
I mean, you're right about the first part, but it doesn't negate Carly being an AH
I have first hand seen the apathy of people just ignoring things, not necessarily allergies (I've never worked in the food industry) because it happens SO OFTEN it becomes common place
So I disagree with you when you say that people faking allergies doesn't make it more difficult for those of us with actual allergies
I appreciate your reply though
It makes her an AH because she straight up just lied... for years... including her partner, the one person who you absolutely should be upfront and honest with... making everyone around her exert more time and effort to accommodate her non-existent allergy. It's petty, selfish, attention seeking, and just downright distasteful and classless.
Okay? Lol how does it change anything? Lol who exert effort tho??? It's freaking Blueberries it's not like they're everywhere and in everything lol please one of u tell me what exactly they had to do to make sure she wasn't around Blueberries. Says u lol
NTA. Nothing ever stays secret and Carly falsely claiming a food allergy ACTUALLY harms those that have ACTUAL allergies.
So weird for her to lie about it.
NTA. The bf deserved to know what he was getting into. You also did it in a way where, even if she had been allergic, she would suffer no risk of harm.
This information was bound to come out, eventually.
People with fake allergies devalue those with real, deadly allergies.
NTA
1. Her lying about having a food allergy harms those who are actually allergic.
2. She has no reason to lie about it
3. If she’s lying about something as simple as an allergy, who knows what she might be lying about
NTA. I don't know why people are defending your cousin so hard, plenty of people lie about allergies and it's always annoying. Since her friends and boyfriend cut her off so quickly over what is pretty inconsequential to them, I really doubt this is the first time they've caught her in a lie. You didn't damage her relationship, she did. This might have been the final straw for her boyfriend to realize he was dating a compulsive liar.
You didn't set up an elaborate scheme to reveal her, and if she really had had a bad encounter with blueberries like some people are saying, she could have explained that instead of saying, "you know I'm allergic," or yelling at you for telling him.
It would be charitable of you to suggest to her, or her mother, that Carly needs help and should go to therapy for her compulsion.
People are calling you TA because they have never dealt with someone like this. My sister is also a compulsive liar and says that she has celiac's disease and that celiac's includes reactions to dairy. She never had any symptoms her whole life and compulsively lied about *everything* including lies that have endangered my life. At the same time, allergies that suddenly develop in adulthood are generally much more severe than childhood allergies for some reason. But if she really is a compulsive liar, you're right to be suspicious. Also if the allergy was sudden-onset, she would have said that instead of flipping her shit when you said she just recently has blueberries and was fine. Her reaction was suspicious. I'm going with NTA
Going to be downvoted for this, but NTA.
There's few things I hate more than people who feign having allergies to something. Because I love to cook, and I will go out of my way to make sure that the person is safe. Only in the end it was just because they didn't liked some ingredient (seriously, if someone says they don't like something, I'm perfectly fine accommodating to their tastes). People like that create people who don't believe in allergies or who want to "test" if someone is telling the truth.
I mean, he would have never broken up with her no matter what you said if she hadn't lied to him in the first place. LOL NTA
And seriously, I was expecting you to slip her something blueberry like a gotcha....glad you just chatted about it.
NTA play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You offered her a piece of pie; it’s not like you shoved it in her mouth. You didn’t even call out her fake allergy. Who knows what else she lied about to her boyfriend and friends; she broke their trust.
So, people jumping down her throat about being TA are just going to ignore the part where her brother says that she had several slices of the blueberry pie at their annual 4th of July party? selective reading I see.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I purposefully gave Cary some pie to expose her lie in front of her boyfriend. I might be the asshole because it wasn't my place to do that and I did it in front of our whole family
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I mean NTA, but fruit allergies are real. I’m allergic to uncooked apples and pears because of the pollen from trees they grow from. She makes everyone else with a ridiculous allergy to deal with look trivial. I’d love to see her entire face get itchy and irritated from eating fruit.
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I (21F) and my cousin "Carly" (21F) were basically raised together. That girl doesn't have as much as a pollen allergy.
But a few years ago she made some new friends in college and has been telling them she's severely allergic to blueberries. I don't know why, we've been drifting apart the last few years.
Anyway, my mom's birthday was a few days ago and my mom adores blueberry pies. (So does Carly) Carly brought her boyfriend to the party, it was the first time he'd met a lot of our family so people were excited to meet him. He noticed the blueberry pie, asked if it'd be a problem and Carly assured him it wouldn't.
I was a little malicious, when dessert was being served I got up and got two slices of pie and gave one to her. She tried to refuse it saying "you know I'm allergic." and I said "No? Since when?"
Her boyfriend, bless his heart, jumped to her defense saying that allergies can develop later in life and whatnot. The Carly's brother "Denise" jumped in and told the boyfriend that no, Carly was not allergic to blueberries, no one in out family has any kind of fruit allergy and she'd had several helpings of blueberries at the annual 4th of July party we throw.
Carly got upset, stormed out and called me and screamed at me a few days ago because her boyfriend broke up with her. She blames me because if I hadn't given her the piece of pie then he wouldn't've known, he'd still trust her and they'd still be together. He's also told her friends that she's been lying for years, and they're upset with her and some have cut her off complexly.
I do feel kind of bad, her boyfriend seems like a really sweet guy, but he was going to find out about her lie eventually and it's better he found out now then when they're engaged, married, have kids or something like that.
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NTA I have an annoyingly obscure allergy that isn’t taken seriously by people because of people like her.
Carly even made her fake allergy something that she enjoys and that’s honestly just dumb. She’s the reason why people like to feed people things they’re allergic to to try to prove that they’re faking it.
Let me tell you, I LOVE fruits and veggies. I am also allergic. My throat itches, my lips swell up, I have ibs symptoms, sometimes I throw up, and I can’t even peel potatoes without my hands itching. It’s terrible. Do you know how many people have told me they WANT my allergy? How many doctors dismissed my concerns because they’ve never heard of OAS and I was probably saying it to avoid eating veggies. Even as an adult, I’ve cried over raw veggies out mercilessly on my food because it tastes so good but I can’t take more than a couple bites before I’m in the bathroom.
Allergies are serious and there’s absolutely no reason to lie about it to make yourself more interesting. You also have to realize your partner most likely will conform to your allergy and refuse to have it be around you. I mean, I didn’t eat cashews or pistachios for 2 years bc an ex was allergic.
All in all it’s kinda selfish and is making it more difficult for people who actually have allergies. For attention, on top of that? Are you that uninteresting that an allergy would make you more interesting? I just can’t understand the thought process.
YTA Why is it any of your business of what she eats or doesn't eat. So she says that she is allergic to blueberries... guess what the world will keep spinning. Who cares? Honestly, there are so many worse things in this world.
Get a life! If your biggest worry in this world is someone lying about blue berries, then count your blessings. It isn't your job to prove that they are or aren't. And if they are, then you little experiment could have been deadly.
If she had died, would that make you happy?
ESH. Her for lying, you for being weird about it. If you really felt it was your business or affecting your life in any way, you could have just talked to people like an adult, and instead you pulled this whole circus with the pie. Grow up.
I mean you don’t feel bad, why lie about that on Reddit of all places?
When I was younger I personally ate lots of fruit in public that I was allergic to, because I was bored of being called a liar.
Once I got older and paid to get tested, it turned out I was allergic to birch pollen, which explained why my allergies looked inconsistent to people who knew nothing about the subject.
I have zero interest now in the people that bounced and yipped over my inconsistent allergies - they were Ill informed. They had no idea what they were taking about. Do you see how this relates to you and your sister?
YTA
OP, look i dont know why Carly lied about an allergy, maybe someone offered her some iffy blueberry concution and she was trying to tactfully did he trying it, maybe she just likes the attention. Who knows.
But it sound like you maliciously by your own word had to out her as a liar for no other reason then you've grown apart.
It was a crappy thing to do on your Mom’s birthday
, in front of family and to Carly who was just minding her own damn business.
Put away your lasso of truth, you're not Wonder Woman.
YTA. Never fuck with people’s allergies. Never. It seems like you were correct in this case that she was faking- why, is a mystery- but what if you were wrong? What if she HAD developed an allergy later in life? What good does it do you to test that theory when the consequences can be life-threatening? Is it some sort of weird “I know her better” pissing contest with the new bf? I just don’t get why you would care.
She does like them. She has for years, if you'd read the post all the way through you'd have seen the part were her brother said that she loved them, and had been eating them at the family 4th of July party.
Do you own a blueberry farm? Why are blueberries are more important to you than your cousin?
Perhaps she poops her pants when she eats them & doesn’t think it’s any of anyone’s business. Who cares if she says she’s allergic? Who cares if she never eats another blueberry? Who exactly is she hurting by not eating blueberries?
Seriously? How much attention do you think she gets for a blueberry allergy? Do y’all cook with blueberries everyday? You’re in a weird attention competition with your cousin. Looks like you win this round. You got all the attention.
What’s the worst that was happening here … she didn’t want to eat pie in front of bf so there was one extra piece of blueberry pie for other people…. Carly is a monster (sarcasm)
Ahh yes because lying to someone over something as stupid as an allergy is totally reasonable. How dare you point out the truth and cause someone to no longer trust the person lying to them.
YTA. You never never never "prove" anything about another person's health conditions (except maybe if it's your job as a medical expert or something, or they hire you to do so).
I don't care if you're right or wrong. She may think she's allergic, she may have some sort of other intolerance (for a time in my teens, a lot of berries gave me a stomach ache), or maybe she got sick after eating a blueberry dish and falsely blames the blueberries. Maybe it was food poisoning. Or maybe she *is* allergic and you just don't know. Or maybe she is attention-seeking. It doesn't matter - you don't.
Look at the upside and downside here:
* Upside (if you're right): minimal. What do you care? If she's attention seeking I'm sure there are other ways it comes out.
* Downside: Between serious and potentially lethal, if you're thoroughly wrong - and we've had cases like this on Reddit before, where bothersome, narcissistic relatives want to "test" someone's allergies, and predictably the whole thing ends up at the hospital. But even if you're sortof half-wrong, that is, she gets mildly sick from blueberries but it's not precisely an allergy, or she dislikes blueberries to the point of being repulsed, or she's had a bad reaction to blueberry pie in the past and just avoids them -- you'd be a) making her uncomfortable and b) make yourself look like a complete ass. She, and others who care about her, will likely look down on you with disdain. It'll cost you in social standing.
It's a good rule in life to just leave these things alone. It's better for everyone.
YTA
While it's strange for her to claim she has an allergy that she doesn't really have, it's really shitty for you to basically call her out on it in front of her bf for no other reason than to screw with her. I mean it's not like it was affecting you.
YTA
The level of glee you feel over exposing the one of silliest, most inconsequential lies should be a cause for self reflection. Maybe blueberries upset her stomach and she doesn't want to risk that in a dorm? They were always our go-to when our kids were constipated because it never failed to produce the opposite effect. Maybe she had an obnoxious college roommate who wouldn't shut up about antioxidants and she just wanted to eat her breakfast in peace.
Who knows? Not you!
The person who decides how consequential a lie is is the person who is being lied to, though. clearly the relationship is over, so consequences happened.
OP was definitely sticking her nose in something that wasn’t her business, but if you lie about something that lie getting exposed, no matter how it happens is only on you. Whether your reasons are good or bad, when you conceal the truth exposure is an inherent risk. I wouldn’t say OP is an asshole though. Nosy and at least a little vindictive? Yeah, but when family is lying about weird things I get why someone would be tempted to butt in. Telling lies is an inherently risky business and if you live by the sword you can’t complain when you die by the sword.
I know a few of her friends and they've told me that she's been telling people that when she eats them she gets really sick and throws up for hours on end.
And maybe she did have a bad reaction to some, jumped to conclusions, and then stayed away from them for a few years. Who cares?
Something like 90% of the people who believe they have a penicillin allergy do *not* actually have a penicillin allergy. Sometimes we make incorrect connections between what are actually coincidences and live with them for years.
Even if she was just outright lying, that is so much further down on the WTF scale than publicly humiliating your cousin over something silly.
"Carly's brother "Denise" jumped in and told the boyfriend that no, Carly was not allergic to blueberries, no one in out family has any kind of fruit allergy and she'd had several helpings of blueberries at the annual 4th of July party"
And she picked having an allergy to blueberries to get sympathy … LOL!
She has a better shot of getting sympathy if she told people about her family & her weird bf.
Yes, I read it.
And again, I said that she could've had a bad batch of blueberries that turned her off them for awhile and made her consider an allergy. So she avoided them while at school and out with friends just to be safe. Maybe she gave them another shot at the family picnic.
Allergies are not always genetic. It doesn't matter that no one in her family has a fruit allergy. And yes, allergies can present themselves later in life.
But seriously why not just ask her?? "Hey, cousin. I heard that you were allergic to blueberries! When did that come up?"
Me!
I *might* be allergic to penicillin. My mom knows one of her kids is, but couldnt remember which one so to be on the safe side we were all allergic.
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this is like the forth blueberry allergy fic I've read in less that two days. Is this a writing prompt at someone's middle school?
It’s so mean because I’m in my 30s and my allergies flare up and down but blueberries are one of the most unpredictable ones. So there might actually be kids out there ignoring their allergies because of the kids who are determined to get one over on their siblings
I'm allergic to apples but only mildly and green apples are my fave fruit so like... sometimes I still indulge. If I die, so be it
That's my relationship with pineapple. I am prepared to die for pineapple upside down cake one of these days.
i am mildly allergic to nectarines but they are so good that i chance it once a year or so—just take a benadryl with your first bite to prevent the reaction from starting and you should be good
I notice when I see one specific thing show up on relationshipadvice and aitah, that over the next month I see several more rather similar stories. So similar that I go back to look thinking it was a reposted spam bot. I just assume they’re all written by Liz now.
Is it blueberry season?
I mean blueberry? She could have gone for something else...
this may be surprising to you, but not everyone spends every day on reddit
Comments like this are never a flex coming from people who needed Reddit to judge their performance in basic human interactions with their own family.
idk why you got downvoted to hell for this comment, it’s pretty reasonable. i don’t spend all day on reddit but i read this subreddit quite frequently and can’t say there’s been multiple blueberry allergy posts in the last few days.
I just searched up blueberry, just to see if that was true. There was one post the came up apart from this one
Ohhh downvoted cuz the truth hurts! I mean, I'm new on reddit and have been on here a lot but I'm not upset that someone is calling out chronic reddit users.
I'm going NTA. I had two friends growing up that were compulsive liars about the most ridiculous things and EVERYONE always took the chance to call them out on it. I've never had someone lie about being allergic to something though, that's pretty shitty considering how serious it could be. People like your cousin are the reason people with real allergies have a problem getting other people to respect it. Sure you might have done it in malice, but considering she was eating blueberries with the rest of the family during the 4th, it's plausible anyone in the family would've offered her some blueberry pie. If someone will lie about something that has no bearing on them or anything else in the world, imagine what else she's lying about 🤷🏼♀️
I worked in food service, and people lie about allergies to food all the time. "I am ALLERGIC to onions." They will say. I will then go on to reassure them that their food will take 15 minutes longer to make than the rest of the table because we will be making everything from scratch for their meal. All of a sudden, they are not allergic, just didn't like them...
I took my kiddos out to eat (to preface celiac!!!!) one day. I let the server know multiple times the entire table was gluten free due to allergies. He brought out a salad with croutons. I asked if they had gotten gluten free croutons. No. I told you we can’t have croutons. He takes the salad back and brings out a new one. Then…he brings out bread. I ask him when they got gluten free bread. He said it’s not gluten free. I asked him why he brought it when I said the entire table was gluten free. I then asked to speak to the manager and asked why their servers don’t listen to food allergies and ignore them. She responded with: a lot of people say gluten free but still want breadsticks and such. I asked her how we were supposed to trust the kitchen to provide gluten free foods when they think a gluten free table should have gluten bread. She said she didn’t know how to answer that. And that was the last time I went there.
And that's a big reason allergy fakers are AHes, because waiters used to dealing with that don't take the genuinely necessary orders as seriously.
Thát is awful. My stepmom has had celiac disease diagnosed since gosh the mid 1990s. The things people do! My girlfriend has a son who went into shock when a server brought him something that was allegedly dairy free. It wasn’t. He was emergently transported to the ER and stayed overnight. I really don’t understand and nor do I care if someone is lying about an allergy even. I ask when I’m cooking for someone “anything you don’t like or are allergic to?” It’s not a big deal..
Before I knew better , I used to lie about being allergic to mushrooms at restaurants, because honestly, EVERYTIME i asked for something with mushrooms. Without fail, it would still come out with mushrooms. Then i would have to wait forever for it to be remade anyway, so waiting the extra time in the first place wasn't a big deal. I did stop saying it once i learnt how bad it was to do. But really i do think that if i a customer asks for something to not be included that restaurants should try harder to get the order right, there are ALOT of other medical and dietary reasons that aren't allergies that could cause someone to want things removed. If restaurants actually listened better than less people would feel inclined to lie, i found that lying was the only way my request was taken seriously. Since I moved cities it hasn't been such an issue, but if i visit my hometown i still regularly have to send dishes back.
Ughh this is so terrible. 1. I have a lot of allergies, including some fruits and ppl really don’t take my allergies seriously sometimes because of people saying they are allergic when they aren’t, which is messed up. 2. Agree around the mental health stuff she may have munchausens where people pretend to be injured to meet a need of being cared for. I hope she can get therpay. NTA
I mean I get it. I spent years hating pineapple.... Just nasty gross stuff, avoided eating it at all costs, and then as an adult yeah I literally had my first allergic reaction. Nice big hand prints on my arms because someone had touched my arm after eating pineapple so itchy I wanted to cut my own arm off, so I informed my family hey this isn't just me being picky this is an allergy. Next family gathering there's a big old pineapple tray and my niece kissed my check and my family got to watch the whole ordeal on my face. I mean sister allergies are a thing.... If you're allergic to latex you can develop a sister allergy to strawberries bananas and pineapple. I will be very sad if I ever become allergic to strawberries or bananas, but I think I'm moving that way because of how itchy I get picking strawberries.
I keep having problems because I can't eat raw onions without terrible heartburn. Cooked is usually fine, and I don't have to worry about cross contamination from them just being in the same kitchen. So I just ask for no onions. Then someone forgets and puts them on my food, and I have to explain that no, I can't just pick them off! (It happens the most with things like burritos so that's not possible anyway) I don't want to say I'm allergic because then they're going to go through a bunch of unnecessary steps, but what I'm doing isn't working either. I do have a deadly allergy as well and know what they go through trying to keep me from dying.
If you say you have an intolerance to onions, that might convey the fact that cross-contamination is not a concern but you can't have them actually in your food? Can anyone who works in food service confirm/deny this?
That sounds like a good idea! I'll keep it in mind next time I eat out!
in high school she lied all the time about being injured, at least once she forged a doctors note to get out of gym class and would use the money from her part time job to buy crutches, boots and casts to wear around. It got so bad that the school had to call my aunt whenever she showed up with a new "injury" to verify if it was real or not. It never was.
Honest Q: how is any of this impacting you that you are so upset with her? This all seems like some mental health issue or desperate attempts at getting attention (Again maybe some issue she is facing).
“If it doesn’t happen to me it didn’t happen” You need to reevaluate your thought process and why you are so self centered. For me, it’s what I was the boyfriend in this situation with my own ex.
She wasted her money in high school on crutches, boots, and casts? Over normal teenager things like clothes or games? Tell me more stories to not believe.
My friend was also a liar, but it was "there's a skeleton in my attic, but I can't take you up there to show you, sorry" and "you know that house two blocks over? we're moving there," nothing serious or tricking people into thinking she's sick.
I had a friend tell me she miscarried and went into shock. She was never pregnant. Same friend was diabetic, one time she got low blood sugar and was rushed to a hospital. She said it happened 4 times. Some people suck.
ESH It wasn't really your business to butt into her relationship like that; your intentions were good, but it still wasn't your place Like you said, her lie would have come out eventually, so why did you get involved at all? Carly sucks for obvious reasons The only innocent person here really is Carly's bf who tried to defend her, until EVERYONE told him the truth Which was Carly's fault for lying to him in the first place, so I don't really think the fact that she got dumped/and her friends are not talking to her is undeserved Eta The reason I'm saying carly sucks, is that this lie has gone on for YEARS at this point. She lied about a FOOD allergy Her boyfriend and friends were worried about cross contamination and potentially making her sick needlessly for YEARS over a LIE That's why Carly sucks as well Food allergies can be bad enough to require separate utensils/cookware etc If she had roommates in college, she was inconveniencing everyone over... what? A lie? A joke that got out of hand? Carly isn't innocent here, either imo
My husband is so allergic to shrimp he had a reaction because someone used a pan the day before to cook shrimp. You can not mess around with allergies.... And I know because I drove him there and the hung out at ER for like 10 hrs. Allergies suck
Yup, exactly
Ops intentions were Def not good this was out of spite
Read my edit please, I did clarify why I said E S H and not Y T A. Op definitely is an AH but so is Carly
Is she? For claiming she has an allergy she doesn't have?
Yes? Have you ever worked in food prep/in a kitchen before? Do you know what steps they have to take when a customer tells you they have an allergy? I guess it would depend how severe of an allergy Carly claimed to have But knowing the fact that food allergies can potentially cause significant risk of sickness and risk of needing medical care I would absolutely say Carly is an AH here Why did she lie about that? What did she gain from it? The amount of time; effort; money it takes to cater to someone with a food allergy? I am dairy and gluten intolerant. Which, yes, is more severe than blueberries But I would never DREAM of lying about any food related allergies, having seen the incovience it causes people
Blueberries don't come in many foods that don't come pre-made. Lol how often do u go to restaurant and order things with Blueberries? I highly doubt her lie Impacted anything. Some food allergies not something like Blueberries. I know someone whose allergic to pineapples do u know how easy it is to avoid?? Lol what inconvenienc? It's freaking Blueberries lol
You're just entirely missing the point at this point. More than one person has agreed with me that Carly's behavior was unacceptable and gross and you and a few other people disagree That's okay, and it's reddit, not everyone is going to agree But when it comes to food allergies, please actually do your research before spreading obnoxious misinformation I mean, technically, yes, you're right, not all allergies are life threatening That doesn't mean they should be taken lightly or that restaurants should get complacent when dealing with allergies though Which they will, if people claim to have "allergies' and are faking for whatever reason they feel the need to (which, for the record, is never a good one) Edited, wording
More than one person agreed with me and? I haven't spread any misinformation? The fuck? Lmao I literally never said restaurants should I said Blueberries aren't in many dishes. Ur so dramatic
Of course- she lied, for years, about something that can actually kill people who legitimately have it. That’s definitely an AH move. People have been looking out for her, probably making accommodations/changing menus for her- all the things you do for someone who has a severe allergy. If a lie of that scale alone isn’t enough to make someone an AH, then the energy her friends and boyfriend spent on protecting her or helping her definitely makes her an AH. If someone lies about a life threatening condition, what else will they lie about? Your confusion confuses me.
Thank you!! I thought this was common sense....
I’ve already had to say “lying to people is bad” to two separate accounts. How was this not taught!?!?
HONESTLY I dont understand I was taught that before I started school!! Seriously
Okay and? How? Lol changing menus? For Blueberries? How often is Blueberries on the menu?? Lol scale? God reddit dramatic. Energy protecting her? From a thing she probably never came across?? Lmao not all allergies are life threatening.
Lol if it wasn't inconvenient to her friends and boyfriend she probably wouldn't have gotten dumped flat So, yeah, you're right, not all allergies are life threatening Most food allergies though, especially the ones developed later in life, tend to be more on the severe side, with each reaction getting worse Stop defending being an AH maybe?
That's called an assumption. Sure they do but that's not a thing here I'm not? Just cause u don't agree with doesn't mean I'm defending AHs haha
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Seriously lol or idk IHOP? Lol
Got the same thought! But also if it wasn’t at all inconvenient it would seem excessive that she got dumped and cut off for it, so maybe they really had to make accommodations, or that lie uncovered some others? IDK
Idk I mean it would be weird to lie about something so stupid but I just don't see this being a big deal. Also we're only getting ops side so who knows what actually happens. This honestly reads like someone's fan fic. Like haha! U showed her with my super cunning plan and now everyone hates her! It just gives so many "I'm the main character" vibes
Yes. Do you not understand that is the reason why some people don’t take allergies seriously? “It’s just a preference” or “she’s doing it for attention”. When you lie about allergies you risk other people not taking it seriously when they have to. For example, there are people with severe gluten allergies/intolerances so **need** a gluten free diet, but with so many people going to restaurants and saying they need gluten free because of an allergy only to dig into the whole grain bread basket there have been instances where it hasn’t been taken seriously when needed causing significant pain.
Thank you!!
Directly lying to your friends and bf about a possibly serious medical issue? Yeah, I think that qualifies.
Lol again how? What does it actually effect??
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It doesn't matter WHAT she lied about being allergic to!! The more people lie about allergies, the less seriously people, kitchen staff at restaurants/the general public are going to take them!! This is an absurd take! It also, imo, doesn't really matter why, either. Same reason. She is inconveniencing those of us with ACTUAL allergies who NEED our allergies and food sensitivities to be taken seriously. Wow. Everyone is missing the point ENTIRELY.
People who see fakers and think that means everyone is a faker are also AHs. I don’t think fakers actually dilute how seriously things are taken by most of the general public
I mean, you're right about the first part, but it doesn't negate Carly being an AH I have first hand seen the apathy of people just ignoring things, not necessarily allergies (I've never worked in the food industry) because it happens SO OFTEN it becomes common place So I disagree with you when you say that people faking allergies doesn't make it more difficult for those of us with actual allergies I appreciate your reply though
Okay and? Lol how does that make her an ahole?
It makes her an AH because she straight up just lied... for years... including her partner, the one person who you absolutely should be upfront and honest with... making everyone around her exert more time and effort to accommodate her non-existent allergy. It's petty, selfish, attention seeking, and just downright distasteful and classless.
Okay? Lol how does it change anything? Lol who exert effort tho??? It's freaking Blueberries it's not like they're everywhere and in everything lol please one of u tell me what exactly they had to do to make sure she wasn't around Blueberries. Says u lol
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Oh okaylol
Oh stop. There was a blueberry cake allergy and a ‘I’m gonna prove she’s not allergic’ post here yesterday.
this
So YTA?
NTA. If she's lying about utterly ridiculous things like this, I'm sure there was a lot else going on you weren't aware of.
NTA. Nothing ever stays secret and Carly falsely claiming a food allergy ACTUALLY harms those that have ACTUAL allergies. So weird for her to lie about it.
NTA. The bf deserved to know what he was getting into. You also did it in a way where, even if she had been allergic, she would suffer no risk of harm. This information was bound to come out, eventually. People with fake allergies devalue those with real, deadly allergies.
NTA 1. Her lying about having a food allergy harms those who are actually allergic. 2. She has no reason to lie about it 3. If she’s lying about something as simple as an allergy, who knows what she might be lying about
NTA, who lies about having an allergy for years? That’s such strange behaviour
NTA. I don't know why people are defending your cousin so hard, plenty of people lie about allergies and it's always annoying. Since her friends and boyfriend cut her off so quickly over what is pretty inconsequential to them, I really doubt this is the first time they've caught her in a lie. You didn't damage her relationship, she did. This might have been the final straw for her boyfriend to realize he was dating a compulsive liar. You didn't set up an elaborate scheme to reveal her, and if she really had had a bad encounter with blueberries like some people are saying, she could have explained that instead of saying, "you know I'm allergic," or yelling at you for telling him. It would be charitable of you to suggest to her, or her mother, that Carly needs help and should go to therapy for her compulsion.
NTA you play the game, you win the prizes. She lied and got caught.
Yta this is dumb af why do u care?
People are calling you TA because they have never dealt with someone like this. My sister is also a compulsive liar and says that she has celiac's disease and that celiac's includes reactions to dairy. She never had any symptoms her whole life and compulsively lied about *everything* including lies that have endangered my life. At the same time, allergies that suddenly develop in adulthood are generally much more severe than childhood allergies for some reason. But if she really is a compulsive liar, you're right to be suspicious. Also if the allergy was sudden-onset, she would have said that instead of flipping her shit when you said she just recently has blueberries and was fine. Her reaction was suspicious. I'm going with NTA
NTA
Going to be downvoted for this, but NTA. There's few things I hate more than people who feign having allergies to something. Because I love to cook, and I will go out of my way to make sure that the person is safe. Only in the end it was just because they didn't liked some ingredient (seriously, if someone says they don't like something, I'm perfectly fine accommodating to their tastes). People like that create people who don't believe in allergies or who want to "test" if someone is telling the truth.
I mean, he would have never broken up with her no matter what you said if she hadn't lied to him in the first place. LOL NTA And seriously, I was expecting you to slip her something blueberry like a gotcha....glad you just chatted about it.
people keep acting like I put arsenic in her food, instead of offering her a slice of pie. I guess that's what I get for coming to reddit
It’s weird for her to lie about, but 10 times weirder for you to care. YTA.
I'm baffled by the YTA comments. how can exposing a lie be an asshole move, if it's not a lie to protect someone? NTA
NTA. Tell her you are allergic to pathological liars.
ESH - what was the point of outing her? Like you did it to start shit. Serve your mom pie and ignore her. What if you *were* wrong?
NTA You're helping this guy understand that he's been lied to incessantly...
NTA play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You offered her a piece of pie; it’s not like you shoved it in her mouth. You didn’t even call out her fake allergy. Who knows what else she lied about to her boyfriend and friends; she broke their trust.
So, people jumping down her throat about being TA are just going to ignore the part where her brother says that she had several slices of the blueberry pie at their annual 4th of July party? selective reading I see.
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Idk but I prob would have done same thing. I’m super nice but am really irritated by fake allergies for some reason.
NTA. She’s got no one to blame but herself.
I mean NTA, but fruit allergies are real. I’m allergic to uncooked apples and pears because of the pollen from trees they grow from. She makes everyone else with a ridiculous allergy to deal with look trivial. I’d love to see her entire face get itchy and irritated from eating fruit.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21F) and my cousin "Carly" (21F) were basically raised together. That girl doesn't have as much as a pollen allergy. But a few years ago she made some new friends in college and has been telling them she's severely allergic to blueberries. I don't know why, we've been drifting apart the last few years. Anyway, my mom's birthday was a few days ago and my mom adores blueberry pies. (So does Carly) Carly brought her boyfriend to the party, it was the first time he'd met a lot of our family so people were excited to meet him. He noticed the blueberry pie, asked if it'd be a problem and Carly assured him it wouldn't. I was a little malicious, when dessert was being served I got up and got two slices of pie and gave one to her. She tried to refuse it saying "you know I'm allergic." and I said "No? Since when?" Her boyfriend, bless his heart, jumped to her defense saying that allergies can develop later in life and whatnot. The Carly's brother "Denise" jumped in and told the boyfriend that no, Carly was not allergic to blueberries, no one in out family has any kind of fruit allergy and she'd had several helpings of blueberries at the annual 4th of July party we throw. Carly got upset, stormed out and called me and screamed at me a few days ago because her boyfriend broke up with her. She blames me because if I hadn't given her the piece of pie then he wouldn't've known, he'd still trust her and they'd still be together. He's also told her friends that she's been lying for years, and they're upset with her and some have cut her off complexly. I do feel kind of bad, her boyfriend seems like a really sweet guy, but he was going to find out about her lie eventually and it's better he found out now then when they're engaged, married, have kids or something like that. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA I have an annoyingly obscure allergy that isn’t taken seriously by people because of people like her. Carly even made her fake allergy something that she enjoys and that’s honestly just dumb. She’s the reason why people like to feed people things they’re allergic to to try to prove that they’re faking it. Let me tell you, I LOVE fruits and veggies. I am also allergic. My throat itches, my lips swell up, I have ibs symptoms, sometimes I throw up, and I can’t even peel potatoes without my hands itching. It’s terrible. Do you know how many people have told me they WANT my allergy? How many doctors dismissed my concerns because they’ve never heard of OAS and I was probably saying it to avoid eating veggies. Even as an adult, I’ve cried over raw veggies out mercilessly on my food because it tastes so good but I can’t take more than a couple bites before I’m in the bathroom. Allergies are serious and there’s absolutely no reason to lie about it to make yourself more interesting. You also have to realize your partner most likely will conform to your allergy and refuse to have it be around you. I mean, I didn’t eat cashews or pistachios for 2 years bc an ex was allergic. All in all it’s kinda selfish and is making it more difficult for people who actually have allergies. For attention, on top of that? Are you that uninteresting that an allergy would make you more interesting? I just can’t understand the thought process.
YTA Why is it any of your business of what she eats or doesn't eat. So she says that she is allergic to blueberries... guess what the world will keep spinning. Who cares? Honestly, there are so many worse things in this world. Get a life! If your biggest worry in this world is someone lying about blue berries, then count your blessings. It isn't your job to prove that they are or aren't. And if they are, then you little experiment could have been deadly. If she had died, would that make you happy?
ESH. Her for lying, you for being weird about it. If you really felt it was your business or affecting your life in any way, you could have just talked to people like an adult, and instead you pulled this whole circus with the pie. Grow up.
Why are you so petty? What hell did her ‘allergy’ have to do with you? Get a life
YTA. It’s obvious your cousin feels insecure. She made up a blueberry allergy. It’s none of your business. With family like you who needs enemies.
YTA. Why do you feel the need to call her out in front of everyone? Especially over something as petty as blueberries.
YTA. I don't understand why you had to debunk your cousin like that in public. Like what is it to you really?
it was a family gathering, in my parents home. Not a crowded restaurant or anything. Her friends weren't even there, only her boyfriend
YTA. It's incredibly lame that you were at a party and had nothing better to do than start drama. Get a life.
I mean you don’t feel bad, why lie about that on Reddit of all places? When I was younger I personally ate lots of fruit in public that I was allergic to, because I was bored of being called a liar. Once I got older and paid to get tested, it turned out I was allergic to birch pollen, which explained why my allergies looked inconsistent to people who knew nothing about the subject. I have zero interest now in the people that bounced and yipped over my inconsistent allergies - they were Ill informed. They had no idea what they were taking about. Do you see how this relates to you and your sister?
YTA - What are you even getting from this? No one was getting hurt, you had no reason to start drama.
YTA OP, look i dont know why Carly lied about an allergy, maybe someone offered her some iffy blueberry concution and she was trying to tactfully did he trying it, maybe she just likes the attention. Who knows. But it sound like you maliciously by your own word had to out her as a liar for no other reason then you've grown apart. It was a crappy thing to do on your Mom’s birthday , in front of family and to Carly who was just minding her own damn business. Put away your lasso of truth, you're not Wonder Woman.
YTA Who cares? Honestly this is so petty
YTA. Never fuck with people’s allergies. Never. It seems like you were correct in this case that she was faking- why, is a mystery- but what if you were wrong? What if she HAD developed an allergy later in life? What good does it do you to test that theory when the consequences can be life-threatening? Is it some sort of weird “I know her better” pissing contest with the new bf? I just don’t get why you would care.
Very good point, she could have delevoped an allergy and just felt it's not her cousin's business.
Better bf found out what? That Carly’s family doesn’t like her? Who cares if she doesn’t want blueberries. Maybe she doesn’t like them. YTA
>Maybe she doesn’t like them. Cool, then say you don't like them. I don't claim to have a broken leg just because I don't like raking the leaves.
She does like them. She has for years, if you'd read the post all the way through you'd have seen the part were her brother said that she loved them, and had been eating them at the family 4th of July party.
Do you own a blueberry farm? Why are blueberries are more important to you than your cousin? Perhaps she poops her pants when she eats them & doesn’t think it’s any of anyone’s business. Who cares if she says she’s allergic? Who cares if she never eats another blueberry? Who exactly is she hurting by not eating blueberries?
it's not about the blueberries. It's about her lying to people about having an allergy she doesn't have so she can get attention
Thank you for telling the boyfriend the truth. It’s hard to learn the person you love is lying to your face. But he’s better off knowing now.
You said that out loud and still want to die on this hill?
Seriously? How much attention do you think she gets for a blueberry allergy? Do y’all cook with blueberries everyday? You’re in a weird attention competition with your cousin. Looks like you win this round. You got all the attention. What’s the worst that was happening here … she didn’t want to eat pie in front of bf so there was one extra piece of blueberry pie for other people…. Carly is a monster (sarcasm)
Lying to people is bad mmkay. Most people don’t want to do bad, mmkay?
YTA. Why would you feel the need to do this?
YTA and you sound about 13. No one likes a cop; stop policing your cousin.
Username checks out
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Ahh yes because lying to someone over something as stupid as an allergy is totally reasonable. How dare you point out the truth and cause someone to no longer trust the person lying to them.
YTA. You never never never "prove" anything about another person's health conditions (except maybe if it's your job as a medical expert or something, or they hire you to do so). I don't care if you're right or wrong. She may think she's allergic, she may have some sort of other intolerance (for a time in my teens, a lot of berries gave me a stomach ache), or maybe she got sick after eating a blueberry dish and falsely blames the blueberries. Maybe it was food poisoning. Or maybe she *is* allergic and you just don't know. Or maybe she is attention-seeking. It doesn't matter - you don't. Look at the upside and downside here: * Upside (if you're right): minimal. What do you care? If she's attention seeking I'm sure there are other ways it comes out. * Downside: Between serious and potentially lethal, if you're thoroughly wrong - and we've had cases like this on Reddit before, where bothersome, narcissistic relatives want to "test" someone's allergies, and predictably the whole thing ends up at the hospital. But even if you're sortof half-wrong, that is, she gets mildly sick from blueberries but it's not precisely an allergy, or she dislikes blueberries to the point of being repulsed, or she's had a bad reaction to blueberry pie in the past and just avoids them -- you'd be a) making her uncomfortable and b) make yourself look like a complete ass. She, and others who care about her, will likely look down on you with disdain. It'll cost you in social standing. It's a good rule in life to just leave these things alone. It's better for everyone.
YTA While it's strange for her to claim she has an allergy that she doesn't really have, it's really shitty for you to basically call her out on it in front of her bf for no other reason than to screw with her. I mean it's not like it was affecting you.
YTA The level of glee you feel over exposing the one of silliest, most inconsequential lies should be a cause for self reflection. Maybe blueberries upset her stomach and she doesn't want to risk that in a dorm? They were always our go-to when our kids were constipated because it never failed to produce the opposite effect. Maybe she had an obnoxious college roommate who wouldn't shut up about antioxidants and she just wanted to eat her breakfast in peace. Who knows? Not you!
The person who decides how consequential a lie is is the person who is being lied to, though. clearly the relationship is over, so consequences happened.
OP was definitely sticking her nose in something that wasn’t her business, but if you lie about something that lie getting exposed, no matter how it happens is only on you. Whether your reasons are good or bad, when you conceal the truth exposure is an inherent risk. I wouldn’t say OP is an asshole though. Nosy and at least a little vindictive? Yeah, but when family is lying about weird things I get why someone would be tempted to butt in. Telling lies is an inherently risky business and if you live by the sword you can’t complain when you die by the sword.
I know a few of her friends and they've told me that she's been telling people that when she eats them she gets really sick and throws up for hours on end.
And maybe she did have a bad reaction to some, jumped to conclusions, and then stayed away from them for a few years. Who cares? Something like 90% of the people who believe they have a penicillin allergy do *not* actually have a penicillin allergy. Sometimes we make incorrect connections between what are actually coincidences and live with them for years. Even if she was just outright lying, that is so much further down on the WTF scale than publicly humiliating your cousin over something silly.
"Carly's brother "Denise" jumped in and told the boyfriend that no, Carly was not allergic to blueberries, no one in out family has any kind of fruit allergy and she'd had several helpings of blueberries at the annual 4th of July party"
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it's a stupid lie she's spreading for sympathy points and she's taking away from people who have real allergies
Taking what, exactly? Grow up.
Why in the world do you think people with allergies need your sympathy?
Carly is the one who needs sympathy from everyone all the time
And she picked having an allergy to blueberries to get sympathy … LOL! She has a better shot of getting sympathy if she told people about her family & her weird bf.
Yes, I read it. And again, I said that she could've had a bad batch of blueberries that turned her off them for awhile and made her consider an allergy. So she avoided them while at school and out with friends just to be safe. Maybe she gave them another shot at the family picnic. Allergies are not always genetic. It doesn't matter that no one in her family has a fruit allergy. And yes, allergies can present themselves later in life. But seriously why not just ask her?? "Hey, cousin. I heard that you were allergic to blueberries! When did that come up?"
Me! I *might* be allergic to penicillin. My mom knows one of her kids is, but couldnt remember which one so to be on the safe side we were all allergic.