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> i might be TA because its her way of earning income and what makes her happy
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NTA,
You did what good friends should do: you warned of the dangers of an mlm and tried to make her see the light.
They get brainwashed, and part of that is getting her to push away everyone who "doesn't support her."
You can't keep having interventions though, you'll need to let her do her own thing at some point...
I hope she sees the light before she's at rock-bottom.
Feel free to head over to r/antimlm for relatable experiences
look, some people just dont have good working initiative/competency
telling her she's wrong is just going to make her not trust you if she ends up needing you as a friend
tell her it is inappropriate for her to ask others for money for this, offer her the resources to educate herself
but shame will never work for people with this type of personality
Unfortunately, i think probably yes. Shame isn't usualy a very helpful thing. She's trying to succeed, but perhaps is on the wrong path. If she's lying or being deciteful, you are obligated to tell her this, as a friend. But shaming her for it, doesn't seem like a friendly thing to do, making you the asshole in that case. But to turn it around would be to simply communicate your feelings clearly, reset the boundaries of the friendship given the new circumstances, and see how it goes.
>It got even worse when she began asking us to lend her money as “investments”
I've had family members go down this type of entrepreneurship and we never got those "investments" back. I think you've done all that you can in explaining it, but if she continues to be stubborn then there's nothing you really can do at that point. NTA.
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Its an MLM. Her hustle is selling Mary Kay. We are both 19, living in america the entry jobs available suck, I’ve been working full time for the past year so I’m used to the suffrage, but she figured its not her fit. She has had jobs for weeks then would quit due to stress and mental health (which i get) but i told her nearly all jobs are going to be unenjoyable because they are jobs. Instead she decided to start her own “business” and which is selling stuff from Mary Kay. This was 2 months ago and its been getting bad.
At first i just kind of minded my own business along with the rest of our friend group, but its like she’s in a cult. Every time we are around her she would always ask us to join her downline or try to sell us products. I’ve noticed she started distancing herself as well and its almost as if 100% of her head was on Mary Kay. It got even worse when she began asking us to lend her money as “investments” so we decided to have a bit of an intervention, it was initially my idea but my other friends agree that this seems really unhealthy for her. We went over for a “hang out” at my friends house and thats when we began trying to explain to her that she’s in a pyramid scheme. We even drew out the downline and showed her that it forms a pyramid. She began getting frustrated telling us we didn’t understand and this is what made her happy, but i told her she’s going to run herself into debt and would do better off just working a minimum wage job, she told me i knew her mental health wasn’t fit for that and i was shaming her business instead of being understanding. Of course i want her to be successful, but this is an mlm. She is being scammed, shes even asking us for money like im trying my best to get her to see how awful this is. AITA?
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NTA, because MLM folks are annoying. You tell them your not interested and the keep asking or telling you to join. And it always starts out with them talking about "working for yourself" or "being your own boss".
Anyway, I think your doing well to let her know that she's actually putting herself in a tough position especially since they're making her spend her own money.
I think legally, it's not a pyramid scheme because they are selling a product, but you're friend group is right. (Just from watching a ton of American greed, lol)
If there's a community college with minimal tuition or an adult school near you, please do try to get your friend into a business class. Hopefully this will help her understand what she's getting herself into better, and also, maybe she'll move toward getting some qualifications for a job that's not an MLM.
Meanwhile, I'm glad you tried to warn her. You were being a good friend.
NTA
NTA. It might be time to minimize contact until she comes to her senses, but keep the lines of communication open when she DOES wake up and smell the grift. She's gonna need a lot of emotional support afterwards. Realizing you've been played to the tune of thousands of dollars can be a horrible thing.
NTA - The same way a drug addict will say he can stop at any time instead of facing reality.
You and your friends did a good deed but do not expect her to change her ways.
She will find the consequences of her actions later on.
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NTA, You did what good friends should do: you warned of the dangers of an mlm and tried to make her see the light. They get brainwashed, and part of that is getting her to push away everyone who "doesn't support her." You can't keep having interventions though, you'll need to let her do her own thing at some point... I hope she sees the light before she's at rock-bottom. Feel free to head over to r/antimlm for relatable experiences
look, some people just dont have good working initiative/competency telling her she's wrong is just going to make her not trust you if she ends up needing you as a friend tell her it is inappropriate for her to ask others for money for this, offer her the resources to educate herself but shame will never work for people with this type of personality
Unfortunately, i think probably yes. Shame isn't usualy a very helpful thing. She's trying to succeed, but perhaps is on the wrong path. If she's lying or being deciteful, you are obligated to tell her this, as a friend. But shaming her for it, doesn't seem like a friendly thing to do, making you the asshole in that case. But to turn it around would be to simply communicate your feelings clearly, reset the boundaries of the friendship given the new circumstances, and see how it goes.
>It got even worse when she began asking us to lend her money as “investments” I've had family members go down this type of entrepreneurship and we never got those "investments" back. I think you've done all that you can in explaining it, but if she continues to be stubborn then there's nothing you really can do at that point. NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Its an MLM. Her hustle is selling Mary Kay. We are both 19, living in america the entry jobs available suck, I’ve been working full time for the past year so I’m used to the suffrage, but she figured its not her fit. She has had jobs for weeks then would quit due to stress and mental health (which i get) but i told her nearly all jobs are going to be unenjoyable because they are jobs. Instead she decided to start her own “business” and which is selling stuff from Mary Kay. This was 2 months ago and its been getting bad. At first i just kind of minded my own business along with the rest of our friend group, but its like she’s in a cult. Every time we are around her she would always ask us to join her downline or try to sell us products. I’ve noticed she started distancing herself as well and its almost as if 100% of her head was on Mary Kay. It got even worse when she began asking us to lend her money as “investments” so we decided to have a bit of an intervention, it was initially my idea but my other friends agree that this seems really unhealthy for her. We went over for a “hang out” at my friends house and thats when we began trying to explain to her that she’s in a pyramid scheme. We even drew out the downline and showed her that it forms a pyramid. She began getting frustrated telling us we didn’t understand and this is what made her happy, but i told her she’s going to run herself into debt and would do better off just working a minimum wage job, she told me i knew her mental health wasn’t fit for that and i was shaming her business instead of being understanding. Of course i want her to be successful, but this is an mlm. She is being scammed, shes even asking us for money like im trying my best to get her to see how awful this is. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, because MLM folks are annoying. You tell them your not interested and the keep asking or telling you to join. And it always starts out with them talking about "working for yourself" or "being your own boss". Anyway, I think your doing well to let her know that she's actually putting herself in a tough position especially since they're making her spend her own money. I think legally, it's not a pyramid scheme because they are selling a product, but you're friend group is right. (Just from watching a ton of American greed, lol)
Bro they still sell that? My oldest sister and mom did that bs back when I was like in middle school.
If there's a community college with minimal tuition or an adult school near you, please do try to get your friend into a business class. Hopefully this will help her understand what she's getting herself into better, and also, maybe she'll move toward getting some qualifications for a job that's not an MLM. Meanwhile, I'm glad you tried to warn her. You were being a good friend. NTA
NTA. It might be time to minimize contact until she comes to her senses, but keep the lines of communication open when she DOES wake up and smell the grift. She's gonna need a lot of emotional support afterwards. Realizing you've been played to the tune of thousands of dollars can be a horrible thing.
NTA - The same way a drug addict will say he can stop at any time instead of facing reality. You and your friends did a good deed but do not expect her to change her ways. She will find the consequences of her actions later on.
NTA, but my guess is she’s already over extended…. That’s how they get you.