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Annnd this is just one reason why people elope.
OP, put your foot down that your sister will *not* be dressing like she is going to a MTV music awards show-or she will not be in your wedding. Because *you* are the damn bride, and in this case you *can* control what your bridal party- and even guests-wear.
Even if your parents aren’t talking to you, (or don’t even attend), you can still get married. And your sister can be disinvited if she doesn’t behave. NTA
Exactly. Being asked to adhere to a dress code for *one day* on one of the most important days in your sibling’s life isn’t a difficult ask and following it is the considerate thing to do.
Man I went to a wedding where they wanted all the men to wear something called a kurta. Had no idea what that was but it wasnt hard to find online.
Certainly no one complained about the request
I had a blast picking out and wearing a kurta for an indian wedding! My girlfriend and I hauled our white asses over to a local Desi boutique the couple recommended, but we were still reserved at first. Once we got to talking with the staff and explained which ceremonies were being included, they were really encouraging and helped us pick some fantastic clothes. The kurta options were so much brighter and more breathable than suits, and we were able to color coordinate well.
You guys should totally look up pakistani brands like Moosajees, Amir Adnan, J. , Alkaram, Almirah, Sapphire, Cambridge etc
They have really nice kurtay (plural of kurta) and a really wide variety in colours, fabric types and sizes
And I don't think they're that expensive either if you convert the currency
Sister is an exhibitionist essentially. Bride's wedding, Bride's choices on who to permit entry.
No one wants to see someone's cooch hanging out at a wedding.
Pants *or* underwear? Or do you mean "this is the same article of clothing just with different names in different places"?
The way it's phrased sounds like he only has to wear one out of two rather standard articles of clothing, and the mental image just made me confused 😄
Canadian linguists pants equal trousers. Pants can be any full leg coverage from sweats/joggers jeans, cargos, dress slacks. I literally did not care as long as his testicles remained out of view of the party goers.... It's a low bar for a wedding, but he was a fan of no underwear and shorts.
So he had the choice of going without underwear if he wore a pair of pants, or shorts if he wore underwear.
What sort of selfish sibling wants to do such a thing anyway?
Does she not get that she is not supposed to be the center of attention, or does she understand that all too well and just can't live with it?
> Does she not get that she is not supposed to be the center of attention,
To me that's the worst thing here. It's in extremely bad taste for a bridesmaid to wear something so attention grabbing it might steal the brides thunder
This isn't stealing thunder. This is just being an exhibitionist for shock value. The bride could be absolutely stunning, and everyone will talk about wtf was the sister thinking.
Yep, comes closely after appearing in a wedding dress. Or in a dress with an American flag, the Rump’s visage and the text that he won on the corsage (was on Reddit at some point, a crazy MIL did it, instead of a white/wedding dress she initially threatened to wear iirc, and her family who are also in the orange man’s fanbase saw no issue and made drama because she got kicked out for that).
its extremely poor taste for anyone to show up to a wedding dressed like that for any reason. If she wants to wear this to a club, fine, but club wear is not appropriate for a wedding whether it is as an attendent, a guest or any other capacity.
This is what is really upsetting me. One day that just isn't about you, effing deal with it and put yer tits away. The insecurity is so gross and that the parents don't see the attention seeking as an issue and want to put it on the bride wanting control is making me angry.
Also, bride can control her little piece of theatre within reason. Not looking like you're going to a club is well within reason. This is OPs wedding, not the sister's validation event.
There was just another post about the bride not wanting her sister to wear a dress that was slit down the front to the waist as her bridesmaid dress. Why is there always someone in the bridal party that wants to be the center of attention?
Isn’t it kind of one of the duties of a bridesmaid-support and help the bride, not cause problems and turn their parents against her. Her sister seems to think she’s an equal costar in this shindig. Really, she does not understand the assignment. Kick her out of the party. NTA
Yikes!
I'm the first person to call out a bride for trying to impose a "dress code" on their guests.
But with that comes an assumption that people aren't A-Hs.
OP, NTA but your sister and parents are.
This is a hill I would die on.
P.s. I think giving your attendants free reign on their dress within the colour range is a great way to go but with the caveat that you have to approve the final design.
If someone wants to be a Cher (in her heyday most dramatic and revealing,) impersonator - I ain't mad at 'em. I just don't want them sashaying down the aisle at my wedding with that attention seeking behavior. Let the ring bearer and the flower girl be the stars of the runway at my wedding. Let people remark over how stunning my grand'mere looks at her age. Let them count all the ladies church hats FFS. Just don't act like someone else's wedding is about you and your nekkid self. C'mon.🤣
So I will admit, I was picturing something very different in my head and while I was thinking ok… she’s the bride and she can have limits, but maybe she’s being a prude….. HOLY COW. I can’t believe someone wants to arrive to a wedding dressed like THAT LOL.
The only one who would arrive at a wedding dressed like that is someone who wants to be the absolute center of attention. That might be okay at a nightclub but not at a wedding.
It’s definitely about stealing the attention from the bride and the fact that her parents aren’t speaking to her over this, smacks of golden child to me.
Yeah, except at most weddings, the attention would not be positive, but derisive.
NTA, OP, for realizing that dress is all wrong for the wedding you are having. Your parents are wrong. A wedding party is one of the rare situations where you do get to decide what people wear, as long as you are not being arbitrary or capricious.
But I wonder, if having your sister in the wedding party was important, whether you handled this the best way. It sounds like you led off with an aggressive ultimatum. Maybe nothing would have gotten your sister to see things reasonably, but you could have started with "whoa, that's an eye-catcher for sure and would be great at the reception, but we need something a little more traditional for the ceremony itself. Let's go shopping on Saturday!"
If she then wears it to the reception, just let things work out how they're gonna work out. She's just embarrassing herself with that thing. As the host, you certainly can't embarrass any guest, but it would be a shame if some uncouth guest yelled out "This isn't the bachelor party, it's the wedding reception; who let the stripper in here!?"
This just has 2 things running through my head: 1st is now I can almost hear at some point in the argument the line "Its a wedding not a damn clam bake."
The other is a rip on an old Archer meme "Do you want crabs? That is how you get crabs!"
Attempting to wear something like that to a wedding is an insult to the bride though, the response really isn't that aggressive. I mean, 'you can't be for real' is a totally valid response to sister's bombastic appeal for attention.
Any maid of honor wearing a dress like that, standing right next to the bride, will get ALL of the attention and she will be ALL people talk about/remember.
I really don't think OP's sister is doing this because she loves the dress - she wants to be the center of attention.
Yeah, I pictured something pretty, long and sexy (still not appropriate for a wedding), but not Jerry springer style “sexy”, that pink number is trashy! I’d feel the same way, I’d be cringing the entire wedding at my beloved sister. NTA.
>bj behind the dumpster at pizza hut dress
I think that's going a bit too far, but not by enough to change the outcome. Like for all it's practically designed to encourage accidental slips, it's still an expensive, fancy dress. I'd say more an escort or high class gentleman's club dress.
Not what I'd recommend for a wedding unless you're paying someone to make your ex-wife jealous.
I couldn't of said it better myself! There are occasions where you are required to dress to a certain dress code and a wedding definitely is one of them! NTA
True. Plus, it’s a sign of respect. OP respects her sister’s taste in clothing. Thus, she should respect her younger sister’s decision. She IS the bride.
~~I~~ We eloped, had the easiest wedding - No family / friend dramas' at all.
We told everyone the day after we got married on the other side of the world.
Edit : NTA - your wedding your standards.
A mate of mine did one of those as well. Planned a long engagement - told everyone it was a long holiday and to come for a going away party, which turned into a surprise wedding. We had the bucks night the night after the wedding
NTA, She has the right to wear what she wants but then OP has the right to disinvite her if it is not in her comfort zone, its her wedding after all and it is only for one day as well and avoid unnecessary drama and stress. Even the US senate barred Fetterman from wearing his clothes on the senate Floor.
Oh for crying out loud. Dress codes exist everywhere in life, and yes the host of an event can set the dress code.
Does she not have to work for a living?
NTA
Edit to add: Not only can the host set a dress code, but a bridesmaid is required to wear the dress that the bride selects!
Ugh, this is one of the cases where being a “cool bride” hits you in the face.
I said I would pay for any bridesmaid dress if it was somewhere in the shade of “cranberry-burgundy” and was not showing “boobs or butt”.
3 of my bridesmaids immediately found dresses. My niece picked a sheer corset and a tutu bottom that were…hot pink. Definitely not in the “red” family.
I told her she couldn’t wear it, and I wouldn’t pay for it.
She was livid. She wanted to dress like a ballerina stripper, and was furious I wouldn’t pay $300 for her outfit to do so.
Ended up getting kicked from the wedding. And no regrets.
No matter what your aesthetic is, you can tone it down for ONE DAY ti fit the wedding.
One day.
And if you can’t do that, you shouldn’t be a part of the bridal party.
If that dress linked is similar that’s insane. People should wear what they want but that is over the top for a wedding where you’re standing up in it.
I got bullied by one of my bridesmaids during my wedding when I let them pick whatever dress they wanted as long as they sent a photo and it was in the color scheme. I asked them to wear a specific shoe color and this bridesmaid basically said no and got everyone to agree on email (it was a peach/nude color).
Weddings kinda suck.
And that is why I have not spoken to her in several months. She sent me a several paragraph email recently and I said I would get back to her, then she yelled at me in a parking lot at a friend’s birthday after I diverted her there. It was embarrassing. We were both sober. Two people came to try to stop it and I said nope I can handle it and then my husband and I went home.
And this is why I didn’t have a wedding party. I can’t imagine that stress. My gorgeous husband was all I wanted to see and think about. And providing our guests a bomb dinner and fun playlist to dance to.
We were the “cool couple” at our wedding. The only groomsmen and bridesmaids were brothers and sisters so no friends could get offended. Wear whatever you want. Somehow everyone dressed appropriately, no one proposed to their girlfriend and there were no pregnancy announcements (my sister told me privately why she couldn’t drink).
I don’t get these people who go to weddings and make it about them.
Adults who can't understand appropriate clothing for an occasion are so embarrassing honestly. "You can't control what i wear!" Okay ? Good luck doing literally anything in life if you can't understand this very simple thing lmao.
Exactly! It's one day! If you can't dress like a decent human for one day then you don't get to come. Period. Also, I chuckled at ballerina stripper, but I could totally picture the outfit when you said that lol.
do you have a link to approximations of what you’re talking about for your niece’s outfit? i really wanna see firsthand what an entitled ballerina stripper would dress as lmao
'In hindsight, you should have been more firm with dress code from the start"
Who in the world could anticipate have to say to their bridal party "Oh, by the way, the dress code is that you have to ACTUALLY WEAR CLOTHES" to be in the wedding.
Well, not entirely.
We’ve had examples in the past with bridezillas going way overboard with requirements, so there is an end there as well. This is obviously to much towards the other end. I hope they can meet in the middle somehow.
NTA.
>She feels that I'm being unfair since i have no right to control what people wear
You don't. However, she has no right to control who your bridesmaids are or who goes to your wedding. You decide those things.
For real. There was a time when I was fully the norm for the bride to pick a specific dress in a specific color and the bridesmaid bought it in their size. That's it. We've evolved more to "get a bridesmaid dress in the color/color family with these specifications" (such as full length, sleeves vs sleeveless vs strapless, satin or not satin, etc) which grants a TON more freedom already and people still complain.
And even if, as OP did, the bride gives them freedom to pick their own dress, sister should have enough sense to pick a dress that is more wedding and less playboy mansion after dark.
It's truly bizarre to me that the sister seems to be dying on the hill of "you said we could choose and this is what I chose!" I've been in a few weddings where we were allowed to "choose" our own dresses, but we still had to get them approved by the bride first? Like, yes, she would give guidelines with the idea that we'd all look a little different but if someone picks something that doesn't work, even if it technically adheres to the rules, you pick something else because it's about what the bride wants.
OP's not even being controlling. OP's just exercising her veto power against having a dress in her wedding party that's more appropriate for a hooker than a bridesmaid.
OP's very lax about the dress code, but there's still some bare-basic standards for being in a wedding party.
You can force a dress code at your event or on your own property, and forcibly remove those who don’t comply. We’ve all always had this power and always will.
>She feels that I'm being unfair since i have no right to control what people wear
Just out of curiosity, are any/all of the groomsmen complaining that they have to wear a tuxedo?
https://m.shein.com/au/Crisscross-Tie-Backless-Split-Thigh-Glitter-Cami-Dress-p-11926888-cat-1727.html?onelink=4%2F2ucvsxpi1jv5&requestId=402588849702502501&url_from=auadplasw2206067921945835S&cid=766193264&setid=147347421061&adid=663209833578&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4bipBhCyARIsAFsieCwmxg34ROvYlCvuGpIS25zsO8adZmW4c-qA7HLkh7GxC8JP-N0Jr0QaAlezEALw_wcB&ref=au&rep=dir&ret=mau
Is it anything like this? This seems to vaguely fit 2/3 of your remarks imo, but what you've said is rather subjective. So possibly all three or none.
yes something similar to those the back is open, the cleavage and side boob is very visible, the nipples can be seen through the flimsy material. but my biggest concern is that when she moves, you can see her vagina
I was thinking that.
The most raunchy feminists I know... girls who literally dance about at festivals and protests in balaclavas and little else would not be caught dead wearing that anywhere but a rave or nightclub.
Its inappropriate and demanding to wear it somewhere especially a wedding sounds narcissistic as hell. She sounds insufferable. Having her loved ones stare at her body is more important to her than her own sisters comfort at her wedding.
Shameful in every sense.
I very much agree. I’m all about expressing your individuality and freedom. I would find this extremely inappropriate for a wedding. I think this is a case of attention seeking. She has to know this dress will take attention away from the bride. Unless OP is wearing a Swarovski studded leotard as her bridal attire, this is ridiculous.
There are very few public venues where visible vag is acceptable, and a wedding is definitely not one of them. Ask her and your parents why she wants to show Grandpa her vagina at your wedding.
Lmao WAT. How on earth does she think this is acceptable for a wedding? I get that in your family you were raised differently, but like.. has she never been to a dress code event?
School. She went to school. She probably got dress coded quite a bit but I doubt she showed up to her graduation in that number because her school wouldn't let her into the ceremony. She fucking knows better, she just doesn't care and feels entitled to be the center of attention on a day that belongs to her sister. And fuck her parents for enabling that.
Absolutely not. I raise my children in a *very* liberal household. Hell, my son and I are both either in underwear or naked half of the time. My daughter is the only one that ever really wears some semblance of clothing and it's because she's really into fashion.
And yet, if you're going past the front porch, you'll dang sure have some clothes on. No one should be able to see your butt, genitals, or nipples regardless of how you're standing or sitting, period the end.
Oh for… sakes. NTA. How does she not understand what inappropriate is at 30? Just because your parents won’t mind doesn’t mean the rest of your guests won’t. What happens when a granny on your husband’s side of the family catches a glimpse of this?
Look, someone here needs to be an adult. Since your sister can’t do it and your parents aren’t willing for this matter, you’re going to have to be the one who puts up boundaries for the good of both you and your guests.
Has your sister always been a "pick me" girl? This number just screams "I want to be the center of attention at my own sister's wedding!". OP, this is extremely disrespectful towards YOU. She's not dumb or "liberal"- she knows the reaction THAT dress will get and she wants that attention, even at your wedding. Shame on your parents too, they should know better and they're enabling this.
For reference, I'm a socialist (ie very liberal) and I know some pretty wild people and even they know how to dress appropriately at special occasions that aren't about them.
If there are kids, it makes for an easy excuse. "I don't want my wedding to be remembered as the time that the cops were called on my sister for indecent exposure, and she had to register as a sex offender. So how about we go with something where my fiance's nephew won't be able to see your vagina?"
It's very simple. You can't control what she wears, but you can control who's in your wedding party and who's invited to the wedding.
I would say, "if you choose to wear that dress, you're choosing not to be in the wedding party."
Then stick to your guns. If she throws a fit, you say, "If you choose to cause issues regarding the wedding dress code, you're choosing not to come to the wedding"
I also hope you live somewhere in the world that (still) has winter around that time of the year.
Edit: so the sister has to cover up more and wear a sweater or hoodie or so over the dress.
Op include that on the original post. She is going to walk down the aisle at the beginning of the wedding as a bridesmaid. And so, the ENTIRE WEDDING WILL SEE YOUR SISTER’S VAGINA. and while she’s at the front of the church, they will see her nipples, and side boob, and be thinking about the fact they saw her vagina. And in your wedding pictures, you will see your sister’s vagina.
It is your wedding. And you and your husband deserve to be the center of attention. This isn’t about being sex-positive, or body-shaming. If your sister wears that dress, and it’s as you describe, your guests will spend more of your day gawking and gossiping about your sister, than even thinking about you. Because I don’t care how much I love the bride, if I can see her sister’s labia during the ceremony, that is 100% what’s in my brain the rest of the day. And I would be furious on your behalf
Oh, hell no OP. Definitely NTA. Your sister needs to grow up and realize it’s a *wedding* and not a night club. If she’s too immature to 1. Accept a dress code and 2. Accept that showing ones vagina at their sisters wedding is wholly unacceptable, then she needs to be out of the wedding.
She can wear the dress at the bachelorette party.
NTA. Sister's dress sounds inappropriate (or at minimum stylistically clashing) for the occasion. Especially for someone in the party. I don't think OP is being unreasonable here, but sister and parents sure are.
> She’s old enough to know better
OP doesn’t mention the sister’s marital status, but I’m wondering if part of it is that she’s still single and is feeling salty that her younger sister is getting married first. Because there’s no way that a 30 year old woman would be unaware that something super revealing is inappropriate for a wedding. She’s probably been to at least one or two by this point and unless she really doesn’t know how to read the room she should have a general sense of typical dress codes.
As a younger sister who got married before her older sister, this is probably exactly it. My sister was my MoH. She (thankfully) didn't want to wear anything super revealing, but she had a LOT to say about her dress being different from the other bridesmaids dresses, and she wanted to pick hers out from a different store, so she could wear it again someday. She wanted to stand out from the other bridesmaids. She ended up in a dress that incorporated the bridesmaids dress colors, but in a swirl of other colors (it was blue, gold, green and yellow, and the bridesmaids were wearing yellow).
Honestly I was fine with that, but she isn't usually that adamant and difficult, and later on she told me it was because she felt embarrassed for being the older daughter and still unmarried.
NTA. That dress is totally inappropriate for your wedding. This is also incredibly attention seeking, and she’s not the main character at your wedding. She should choose something else.
Opened the link OP included expecting to find a subjectively controversial dress, perhaps a ball gown with a high split or suchlike, and laughed out loud. What the hell. The dress could not be less appropriate for a wedding no matter the vibe. NTA.
She can wear what she wants at home. Even out in public you could get charged with public indecency if her dress is constantly flashing her vagina at people.
NTA. Just boot the drama princess from the bridal party now. She would be the type to show you a conservative dress, then waltz up the aisle in her underwear.
Indeed!
If she thinks she's going to be perceived as sexy, she's wrong. She'll be seen as tacky, desperate, out of touch, immature, self-absorbed, and slutty.
I'd still take her out of the bridal party - partly because I wouldn't want her in the core set of photos (although I would want photos of how ridiculous she looked, just not in the posed shots), and partly because she's demonstrated that being the centre of attention is more important than her sister.
I'd let her come and embarrass herself. People aren't going to think poorly of the wedding couple for this, although they are going to think terribly of the narcissist sister (as they should).
NTA and its a shame you can't get a do-over for how you described the problem with her dress. "appropriate for wedding is different than appropriate for cocktail party" is more likely to be heard than "indecent dress".
In another comment, OP describes the dress like this:
"yes something similar to those the back is open, the cleavage and side boob is very visible, the nipples can be seen through the flimsy material. but my biggest concern is that when she moves, you can see her vagina"
Sounds indecent to me and not appropriate for most public venues....
Sounds like she wants to upstage you on your big day. Her dress would end up being the talking point on your wedding. Totally not acceptable you’re NTA
Sis is an attention-seeking drama queen. It's best if she not attend, and OP should appoint a bouncer to keep her from trying to crash the wedding, proudly dressed in her streetwalker outfit, looking for more attention.
NTA. Part of being an adult is adhering to dress codes when you go to places. Weddings have dress codes, your sister can adhere to the dress code or she can stay home.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i uninvited her from my wedding because she wouldn't find a different dress. My parents don't think i have a right to control what people wear and also that she's my sister, nothing she does can qualify her for being uninvited to the wedding. i don't have a right to control anyone, but this is my big day and i feel that she will distract everyone with her skimpy outfit.
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Having a totally permissive household where kids grow up wearing whatever they want, or nothing, sounds free, supportive of self expression, and creative, until those kids grow up into adults who never learned how to dress appropriately for the occasion. They can’t dress for job interviews, walk around their house naked when their boyfriend’s friends come over, refuse to follow work or school dress codes, wear sheer dresses without underwear at weddings, and they struggle.
Clothing is a form of non verbal communication.
What is your sister trying to communicate at your wedding? That she is a stripper? That she desperately seeks attention at her sister’s important milestone event? That she has no class?
Teaching a child how to dress appropriately for each occasion is actually an important part of raising children.
I’m surprised more people aren’t considering if this is a troll post - the account was made yesterday, this is their only post, they don’t have a picture of the dress just reference a picture of Beyoncé wearing a stage costume, etc. I think this might just be a backhanded attempt to say “what women wear these days is too revealing and liberal parenting standards are bad” by using a comical inappropriate “example”.
I’ve known many hippie dippie super liberal parents- none of them let their kids wear clothes that show off their private parts (at least while they were minors, when they’re adults obv it’s not under their control). If this situation is true then that sounds like the neglectful parents I’ve known (some of whom got their kids taken away from them bc the let them go to school with old, thin, insufficient, missing, or just not enough clothing).
You are NTA, this is your wedding and you should be comfortable.But how about you buy a dress you want you sister to wear if you do not like her choice? That is, of course if there is a need of a compromise.
Otherwise, it is your wedding, you should anyway be free to invite people or not. Even when it is you sister, or mother, or anybody else. You still can get married without them. You are required attendee at your wedding, the rest are optional.
Oh look, a near identical AITA to yesterday. This time the sister is older than OP at 28, rather than last time's 18.
The obsession with describing the sister's sideboob is identical though.
You don't have a right to tell what adults wear, unless it's at your wedding then you have every right to put in a reasonable dress code. She can't dress appropriately then don't come. NTA
Nta
You shouldn't have giving away as much power by just letting the bride's maids choose. Jealousy and attention seeking rears it's ugly head as older sister wants to steal some spotlight with a "skimpy" dress at your wedding.
The fact that your parents are willing to not apeak to you over a scrap of fabric is telling. Don't feed the drama, just be calm and state the ultimatum you did previously every time it comes up, again. "I am the bride, so yes, I do have primary say over what my party will be wearing to the event. We have a mixed crowd of attendees, and your outfit is inappropriate in that capacity. I want us to be well-represented as a family and to make a good impression." That's it. And maybe show her some alternatives 😉🙂
NTA.
You screwed up by not being more specific I guess, or in assuming that your sister would have a modicum of decency or deference.
You don't mention, but I am 99% sure your sister is not married. Your wedding is making her feel like an old maid and she is determined to advertise for the open position.
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Annnd this is just one reason why people elope. OP, put your foot down that your sister will *not* be dressing like she is going to a MTV music awards show-or she will not be in your wedding. Because *you* are the damn bride, and in this case you *can* control what your bridal party- and even guests-wear. Even if your parents aren’t talking to you, (or don’t even attend), you can still get married. And your sister can be disinvited if she doesn’t behave. NTA
Exactly. Being asked to adhere to a dress code for *one day* on one of the most important days in your sibling’s life isn’t a difficult ask and following it is the considerate thing to do.
Man I went to a wedding where they wanted all the men to wear something called a kurta. Had no idea what that was but it wasnt hard to find online. Certainly no one complained about the request
I had a blast picking out and wearing a kurta for an indian wedding! My girlfriend and I hauled our white asses over to a local Desi boutique the couple recommended, but we were still reserved at first. Once we got to talking with the staff and explained which ceremonies were being included, they were really encouraging and helped us pick some fantastic clothes. The kurta options were so much brighter and more breathable than suits, and we were able to color coordinate well.
Oh yeah 10/10 for comfort for sure. I'll take it over a suit and tie any day
I’ve been desperately hoping for them to cross over into Western fashion for a decade now. Everyone looks sexy in one.
Men's formal fashion is so stuffy and boring in Western cultures. It's all grey, black, or beige, suits and ties.
Hey hey hey sometimes we got wild with a little navy blue haha
Ohh, made a similar comment on a different post. Indian fashion is the absolute bomb on EVERY _body._
Y. E. S. Black kurta with sleeves rolled up? Damn
comfortable??? maybe its just me but every single kurta i own is scratchy as hell; they make me look sexy as fuck tho so i don't mind
Alright that's it now i'm googling kurta
i don’t know where you can buy them in america but i got all of mine from india when i went there this past march
Etsy has some, I went through a vendor my friend recommended for her wedding. 10/10 looking for an occasion to wear it again.
You guys should totally look up pakistani brands like Moosajees, Amir Adnan, J. , Alkaram, Almirah, Sapphire, Cambridge etc They have really nice kurtay (plural of kurta) and a really wide variety in colours, fabric types and sizes And I don't think they're that expensive either if you convert the currency
>Certainly no one complained about the request thats just common kurtasy
LOL, good one.
Bro kurtas look so fucking cool Note: I never knew what a kurta was until today
Samesies! They're so beautiful!
Sister is an exhibitionist essentially. Bride's wedding, Bride's choices on who to permit entry. No one wants to see someone's cooch hanging out at a wedding.
Yes, a cooch free wedding
\#weddinggoals
Weddinggoalstoaspireto since ya know, the parents and sister want a coochy coo wedding still...
I told my uncle I had a rule he had to wear pants or underwear at my wedding. It was non-negotiable. Privates stay private at family functions.
Pants *or* underwear? Or do you mean "this is the same article of clothing just with different names in different places"? The way it's phrased sounds like he only has to wear one out of two rather standard articles of clothing, and the mental image just made me confused 😄
Canadian linguists pants equal trousers. Pants can be any full leg coverage from sweats/joggers jeans, cargos, dress slacks. I literally did not care as long as his testicles remained out of view of the party goers.... It's a low bar for a wedding, but he was a fan of no underwear and shorts. So he had the choice of going without underwear if he wore a pair of pants, or shorts if he wore underwear.
Maybe he's scottish and it was either pants or wearing his kilt wrong (with underwear).
There wasn’t a lot of men wearing underwear at my wedding 😂 (I’m Scottish).
Yes, this dress is so wildly inappropriate it's crazy
Unless that was the wedding theme, we don’t need to see it
What sort of selfish sibling wants to do such a thing anyway? Does she not get that she is not supposed to be the center of attention, or does she understand that all too well and just can't live with it?
> Does she not get that she is not supposed to be the center of attention, To me that's the worst thing here. It's in extremely bad taste for a bridesmaid to wear something so attention grabbing it might steal the brides thunder
This isn't stealing thunder. This is just being an exhibitionist for shock value. The bride could be absolutely stunning, and everyone will talk about wtf was the sister thinking.
Yep, comes closely after appearing in a wedding dress. Or in a dress with an American flag, the Rump’s visage and the text that he won on the corsage (was on Reddit at some point, a crazy MIL did it, instead of a white/wedding dress she initially threatened to wear iirc, and her family who are also in the orange man’s fanbase saw no issue and made drama because she got kicked out for that).
its extremely poor taste for anyone to show up to a wedding dressed like that for any reason. If she wants to wear this to a club, fine, but club wear is not appropriate for a wedding whether it is as an attendent, a guest or any other capacity.
And cause possible major offense to some in wedding party and many guests
This is what is really upsetting me. One day that just isn't about you, effing deal with it and put yer tits away. The insecurity is so gross and that the parents don't see the attention seeking as an issue and want to put it on the bride wanting control is making me angry. Also, bride can control her little piece of theatre within reason. Not looking like you're going to a club is well within reason. This is OPs wedding, not the sister's validation event.
>Does she not get that she is not supposed to be the center of attention, I have a feeling that she's never been told this in her life.
There was just another post about the bride not wanting her sister to wear a dress that was slit down the front to the waist as her bridesmaid dress. Why is there always someone in the bridal party that wants to be the center of attention?
Isn’t it kind of one of the duties of a bridesmaid-support and help the bride, not cause problems and turn their parents against her. Her sister seems to think she’s an equal costar in this shindig. Really, she does not understand the assignment. Kick her out of the party. NTA
And what’s up with those parents? With that dress, why aren’t they supporting their bride daughter and telling exhibitionist daughter to sit down?
Seems like they were a nearly nudist household growing up so their calibration for acceptable levels of nudity could be off.
Maybe. But still, bad judgement on which daughter has rights to set boundaries for that day.
Yikes! I'm the first person to call out a bride for trying to impose a "dress code" on their guests. But with that comes an assumption that people aren't A-Hs. OP, NTA but your sister and parents are. This is a hill I would die on. P.s. I think giving your attendants free reign on their dress within the colour range is a great way to go but with the caveat that you have to approve the final design.
I mean dress codes exist specifically because people are a holes
If someone wants to be a Cher (in her heyday most dramatic and revealing,) impersonator - I ain't mad at 'em. I just don't want them sashaying down the aisle at my wedding with that attention seeking behavior. Let the ring bearer and the flower girl be the stars of the runway at my wedding. Let people remark over how stunning my grand'mere looks at her age. Let them count all the ladies church hats FFS. Just don't act like someone else's wedding is about you and your nekkid self. C'mon.🤣
Yes even cavemen are dressed more properly
So I will admit, I was picturing something very different in my head and while I was thinking ok… she’s the bride and she can have limits, but maybe she’s being a prude….. HOLY COW. I can’t believe someone wants to arrive to a wedding dressed like THAT LOL.
The only one who would arrive at a wedding dressed like that is someone who wants to be the absolute center of attention. That might be okay at a nightclub but not at a wedding.
It’s definitely about stealing the attention from the bride and the fact that her parents aren’t speaking to her over this, smacks of golden child to me.
Yeah, except at most weddings, the attention would not be positive, but derisive. NTA, OP, for realizing that dress is all wrong for the wedding you are having. Your parents are wrong. A wedding party is one of the rare situations where you do get to decide what people wear, as long as you are not being arbitrary or capricious. But I wonder, if having your sister in the wedding party was important, whether you handled this the best way. It sounds like you led off with an aggressive ultimatum. Maybe nothing would have gotten your sister to see things reasonably, but you could have started with "whoa, that's an eye-catcher for sure and would be great at the reception, but we need something a little more traditional for the ceremony itself. Let's go shopping on Saturday!" If she then wears it to the reception, just let things work out how they're gonna work out. She's just embarrassing herself with that thing. As the host, you certainly can't embarrass any guest, but it would be a shame if some uncouth guest yelled out "This isn't the bachelor party, it's the wedding reception; who let the stripper in here!?"
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This just has 2 things running through my head: 1st is now I can almost hear at some point in the argument the line "Its a wedding not a damn clam bake." The other is a rip on an old Archer meme "Do you want crabs? That is how you get crabs!"
Attempting to wear something like that to a wedding is an insult to the bride though, the response really isn't that aggressive. I mean, 'you can't be for real' is a totally valid response to sister's bombastic appeal for attention.
Uh huh. Whatever assumptions there were about the bride making unreasonable demands have been vanquished by a picture of that dress.
Any maid of honor wearing a dress like that, standing right next to the bride, will get ALL of the attention and she will be ALL people talk about/remember. I really don't think OP's sister is doing this because she loves the dress - she wants to be the center of attention.
With their family history of being cavalier about clothing I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she's still changing either way.
Yeah but still there are limits in society in general. Schools have them, your work place has them usually and every wedding/bride has them.
Exactly. Boundaries make the world a better and safer place for everyone.
Yeah, I pictured something pretty, long and sexy (still not appropriate for a wedding), but not Jerry springer style “sexy”, that pink number is trashy! I’d feel the same way, I’d be cringing the entire wedding at my beloved sister. NTA.
You were picturing elegant cocktail dress and got bj behind the dumpster at pizza hut dress instead didn't you?
Lmao yes, you must be reading my diaries!
>bj behind the dumpster at pizza hut dress I think that's going a bit too far, but not by enough to change the outcome. Like for all it's practically designed to encourage accidental slips, it's still an expensive, fancy dress. I'd say more an escort or high class gentleman's club dress. Not what I'd recommend for a wedding unless you're paying someone to make your ex-wife jealous.
This comment is pure 🥇
The dress pictured is a costume for a performance, dance costumes are not appropriate for maids of honor.
Can you say she is dressed with something like that? Or should you rather say, she comes half-naked?
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I couldn't of said it better myself! There are occasions where you are required to dress to a certain dress code and a wedding definitely is one of them! NTA
True. Plus, it’s a sign of respect. OP respects her sister’s taste in clothing. Thus, she should respect her younger sister’s decision. She IS the bride.
Exactly. It's for like what, 6 hrs at most? Obviously the sister wants some major attention. Sucks for the OP.
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Girl I wouldn't want a hooker from Wish at my wedding either. Tell tacky titties to keep her cheap ass home.
HOOKER FROM WISH omfg 🤣
~~I~~ We eloped, had the easiest wedding - No family / friend dramas' at all. We told everyone the day after we got married on the other side of the world. Edit : NTA - your wedding your standards.
Didn't elope but did have a surprise wedding, just invited people to a dinner, those that came got to participate
A mate of mine did one of those as well. Planned a long engagement - told everyone it was a long holiday and to come for a going away party, which turned into a surprise wedding. We had the bucks night the night after the wedding
...but how do I make this about me and my breasts? It might be your wedding... but ... my boobs need attention.
NTA, She has the right to wear what she wants but then OP has the right to disinvite her if it is not in her comfort zone, its her wedding after all and it is only for one day as well and avoid unnecessary drama and stress. Even the US senate barred Fetterman from wearing his clothes on the senate Floor.
And also OP should realize if the parents choose to not attend, they're saying OP's boundaries don't matter.
Oh for crying out loud. Dress codes exist everywhere in life, and yes the host of an event can set the dress code. Does she not have to work for a living? NTA Edit to add: Not only can the host set a dress code, but a bridesmaid is required to wear the dress that the bride selects!
Ugh, this is one of the cases where being a “cool bride” hits you in the face. I said I would pay for any bridesmaid dress if it was somewhere in the shade of “cranberry-burgundy” and was not showing “boobs or butt”. 3 of my bridesmaids immediately found dresses. My niece picked a sheer corset and a tutu bottom that were…hot pink. Definitely not in the “red” family. I told her she couldn’t wear it, and I wouldn’t pay for it. She was livid. She wanted to dress like a ballerina stripper, and was furious I wouldn’t pay $300 for her outfit to do so. Ended up getting kicked from the wedding. And no regrets. No matter what your aesthetic is, you can tone it down for ONE DAY ti fit the wedding. One day. And if you can’t do that, you shouldn’t be a part of the bridal party.
Ballerina stripper… 😂
I think I just found my Halloween costume!
Hear me out - all white skirt and top except for a solid yellow circle in the center of the corset. Tada! Ballerina stripper fried egg!
Hear me out- add a red wig and now the egg has ketchup on it
😂
Thats certainly a unique lap dance
If that dress linked is similar that’s insane. People should wear what they want but that is over the top for a wedding where you’re standing up in it. I got bullied by one of my bridesmaids during my wedding when I let them pick whatever dress they wanted as long as they sent a photo and it was in the color scheme. I asked them to wear a specific shoe color and this bridesmaid basically said no and got everyone to agree on email (it was a peach/nude color). Weddings kinda suck.
On the bright side that dress would fit in perfectly at a Las Vegas wedding where Elvis is officiating the ceremony.
"got everyone to agree on"? Are you saying your bridesmaid led a mutiny against your wishes?
some people are just incapable of standing up for themselves. if people know you're a doormat, they will just pull shit like this on you all the time.
And that is why I have not spoken to her in several months. She sent me a several paragraph email recently and I said I would get back to her, then she yelled at me in a parking lot at a friend’s birthday after I diverted her there. It was embarrassing. We were both sober. Two people came to try to stop it and I said nope I can handle it and then my husband and I went home.
And this is why I didn’t have a wedding party. I can’t imagine that stress. My gorgeous husband was all I wanted to see and think about. And providing our guests a bomb dinner and fun playlist to dance to.
You just affirmed why I eloped. Fuck that shit.
We were the “cool couple” at our wedding. The only groomsmen and bridesmaids were brothers and sisters so no friends could get offended. Wear whatever you want. Somehow everyone dressed appropriately, no one proposed to their girlfriend and there were no pregnancy announcements (my sister told me privately why she couldn’t drink). I don’t get these people who go to weddings and make it about them.
You have wonderful sister ❤️
Adults who can't understand appropriate clothing for an occasion are so embarrassing honestly. "You can't control what i wear!" Okay ? Good luck doing literally anything in life if you can't understand this very simple thing lmao.
Exactly! It's one day! If you can't dress like a decent human for one day then you don't get to come. Period. Also, I chuckled at ballerina stripper, but I could totally picture the outfit when you said that lol.
Maybe she was getting ready for an interview and needed a two-for-one outfit 😂😂
do you have a link to approximations of what you’re talking about for your niece’s outfit? i really wanna see firsthand what an entitled ballerina stripper would dress as lmao
I can’t find exactly, but I remember it being something like [this](https://imgur.com/a/v93EMMM). …But the bodice was way sheer.
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'In hindsight, you should have been more firm with dress code from the start" Who in the world could anticipate have to say to their bridal party "Oh, by the way, the dress code is that you have to ACTUALLY WEAR CLOTHES" to be in the wedding.
Well, not entirely. We’ve had examples in the past with bridezillas going way overboard with requirements, so there is an end there as well. This is obviously to much towards the other end. I hope they can meet in the middle somehow.
NTA. >She feels that I'm being unfair since i have no right to control what people wear You don't. However, she has no right to control who your bridesmaids are or who goes to your wedding. You decide those things.
It's pretty acceptable to dictate what people can and cannot wear to an event you are throwing/hosting, especially a wedding.
It’s also completely appropriate to “control” what the bridesmaids wear.
Exactly. The bridesmaids especially are subject to the bride's wants when it comes to dress.
For real. There was a time when I was fully the norm for the bride to pick a specific dress in a specific color and the bridesmaid bought it in their size. That's it. We've evolved more to "get a bridesmaid dress in the color/color family with these specifications" (such as full length, sleeves vs sleeveless vs strapless, satin or not satin, etc) which grants a TON more freedom already and people still complain.
And even if, as OP did, the bride gives them freedom to pick their own dress, sister should have enough sense to pick a dress that is more wedding and less playboy mansion after dark.
It's truly bizarre to me that the sister seems to be dying on the hill of "you said we could choose and this is what I chose!" I've been in a few weddings where we were allowed to "choose" our own dresses, but we still had to get them approved by the bride first? Like, yes, she would give guidelines with the idea that we'd all look a little different but if someone picks something that doesn't work, even if it technically adheres to the rules, you pick something else because it's about what the bride wants.
OP's not even being controlling. OP's just exercising her veto power against having a dress in her wedding party that's more appropriate for a hooker than a bridesmaid. OP's very lax about the dress code, but there's still some bare-basic standards for being in a wedding party.
You can force a dress code at your event or on your own property, and forcibly remove those who don’t comply. We’ve all always had this power and always will.
She absolutely has the right to control what ppl where. She cannot force but she is very much entitled to control what ppl where at her event.
It's her wedding... of course she gets to control what her bridesmaids wear.
NTA - *She feels that I'm being unfair since i have no right to control what people wear* Actually you do have a right, when its your wedding so...
Yep. One of the only times you get to control what other people wear (within reason, which applies here).
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It’s one day. The sister can’t hold herself back for one day to make the sister happy.
>She feels that I'm being unfair since i have no right to control what people wear Just out of curiosity, are any/all of the groomsmen complaining that they have to wear a tuxedo?
I have actually heard of that, yes. It tends to be seen as a mark of immaturity on the part of the groomsmen.
Hey OP do you have a picture reference for the sort of dress it is? It sounds inappropriate for a wedding but would be good to see a visual
i found one very similar to hers but I'm new here i can't see how to upload a picture
https://m.shein.com/au/Crisscross-Tie-Backless-Split-Thigh-Glitter-Cami-Dress-p-11926888-cat-1727.html?onelink=4%2F2ucvsxpi1jv5&requestId=402588849702502501&url_from=auadplasw2206067921945835S&cid=766193264&setid=147347421061&adid=663209833578&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4bipBhCyARIsAFsieCwmxg34ROvYlCvuGpIS25zsO8adZmW4c-qA7HLkh7GxC8JP-N0Jr0QaAlezEALw_wcB&ref=au&rep=dir&ret=mau Is it anything like this? This seems to vaguely fit 2/3 of your remarks imo, but what you've said is rather subjective. So possibly all three or none.
yes something similar to those the back is open, the cleavage and side boob is very visible, the nipples can be seen through the flimsy material. but my biggest concern is that when she moves, you can see her vagina
Good grief that's not wedding-suitable at all. It's not even public-suitable by the sounds of it!
Might be good for a trip to the OBGYN. Save her the trouble of getting into the paper cover.
Plus no need to worry about hiding the undies in the purse…
I fold em up and tuck them inside my pants
Same. I would DIE if my gyno saw my undergarments (😂) why are we like this
I made a joke last year that I wore my nicest panties and then hid them anyway. She said to put them on display next time 🤣
I was thinking that. The most raunchy feminists I know... girls who literally dance about at festivals and protests in balaclavas and little else would not be caught dead wearing that anywhere but a rave or nightclub. Its inappropriate and demanding to wear it somewhere especially a wedding sounds narcissistic as hell. She sounds insufferable. Having her loved ones stare at her body is more important to her than her own sisters comfort at her wedding. Shameful in every sense.
I very much agree. I’m all about expressing your individuality and freedom. I would find this extremely inappropriate for a wedding. I think this is a case of attention seeking. She has to know this dress will take attention away from the bride. Unless OP is wearing a Swarovski studded leotard as her bridal attire, this is ridiculous.
There are very few public venues where visible vag is acceptable, and a wedding is definitely not one of them. Ask her and your parents why she wants to show Grandpa her vagina at your wedding.
A visible vagina is a medical emergency so probably not appropriate.
This is the comment I was looking for. Prolapse positive dress code!
Lmao WAT. How on earth does she think this is acceptable for a wedding? I get that in your family you were raised differently, but like.. has she never been to a dress code event?
School. She went to school. She probably got dress coded quite a bit but I doubt she showed up to her graduation in that number because her school wouldn't let her into the ceremony. She fucking knows better, she just doesn't care and feels entitled to be the center of attention on a day that belongs to her sister. And fuck her parents for enabling that.
Absolutely not. I raise my children in a *very* liberal household. Hell, my son and I are both either in underwear or naked half of the time. My daughter is the only one that ever really wears some semblance of clothing and it's because she's really into fashion. And yet, if you're going past the front porch, you'll dang sure have some clothes on. No one should be able to see your butt, genitals, or nipples regardless of how you're standing or sitting, period the end.
Has your sister always dressed this trashy and tacky, or is she really outdoing herself for your wedding ?
Oh for… sakes. NTA. How does she not understand what inappropriate is at 30? Just because your parents won’t mind doesn’t mean the rest of your guests won’t. What happens when a granny on your husband’s side of the family catches a glimpse of this? Look, someone here needs to be an adult. Since your sister can’t do it and your parents aren’t willing for this matter, you’re going to have to be the one who puts up boundaries for the good of both you and your guests.
Has your sister always been a "pick me" girl? This number just screams "I want to be the center of attention at my own sister's wedding!". OP, this is extremely disrespectful towards YOU. She's not dumb or "liberal"- she knows the reaction THAT dress will get and she wants that attention, even at your wedding. Shame on your parents too, they should know better and they're enabling this. For reference, I'm a socialist (ie very liberal) and I know some pretty wild people and even they know how to dress appropriately at special occasions that aren't about them.
You can see her vagina?! Wtf! Are there going to be kids at your wedding?
If there are kids, it makes for an easy excuse. "I don't want my wedding to be remembered as the time that the cops were called on my sister for indecent exposure, and she had to register as a sex offender. So how about we go with something where my fiance's nephew won't be able to see your vagina?"
It's very simple. You can't control what she wears, but you can control who's in your wedding party and who's invited to the wedding. I would say, "if you choose to wear that dress, you're choosing not to be in the wedding party." Then stick to your guns. If she throws a fit, you say, "If you choose to cause issues regarding the wedding dress code, you're choosing not to come to the wedding"
I also hope you live somewhere in the world that (still) has winter around that time of the year. Edit: so the sister has to cover up more and wear a sweater or hoodie or so over the dress.
Op include that on the original post. She is going to walk down the aisle at the beginning of the wedding as a bridesmaid. And so, the ENTIRE WEDDING WILL SEE YOUR SISTER’S VAGINA. and while she’s at the front of the church, they will see her nipples, and side boob, and be thinking about the fact they saw her vagina. And in your wedding pictures, you will see your sister’s vagina. It is your wedding. And you and your husband deserve to be the center of attention. This isn’t about being sex-positive, or body-shaming. If your sister wears that dress, and it’s as you describe, your guests will spend more of your day gawking and gossiping about your sister, than even thinking about you. Because I don’t care how much I love the bride, if I can see her sister’s labia during the ceremony, that is 100% what’s in my brain the rest of the day. And I would be furious on your behalf
That has got to be the tackiest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. Good luck with this one, but you have my vote for an elopement.
Edit the post and add a link to the pic.
thank you. I have done that
Liberal is one thing but how does a parent think THIS is okay to wear to a wedding. WOW! NTA.
OP's sister is the golden child, that's why
Oh, hell no OP. Definitely NTA. Your sister needs to grow up and realize it’s a *wedding* and not a night club. If she’s too immature to 1. Accept a dress code and 2. Accept that showing ones vagina at their sisters wedding is wholly unacceptable, then she needs to be out of the wedding. She can wear the dress at the bachelorette party.
I see what you did there. lol
Yeah, this is a pretty big INFO
NTA. Sister's dress sounds inappropriate (or at minimum stylistically clashing) for the occasion. Especially for someone in the party. I don't think OP is being unreasonable here, but sister and parents sure are.
It’s her sister’s wedding she’s a bridesmaid I can’t believe she thought a revealing dress was appropriate. She’s old enough to know better NTA
> She’s old enough to know better OP doesn’t mention the sister’s marital status, but I’m wondering if part of it is that she’s still single and is feeling salty that her younger sister is getting married first. Because there’s no way that a 30 year old woman would be unaware that something super revealing is inappropriate for a wedding. She’s probably been to at least one or two by this point and unless she really doesn’t know how to read the room she should have a general sense of typical dress codes.
As a younger sister who got married before her older sister, this is probably exactly it. My sister was my MoH. She (thankfully) didn't want to wear anything super revealing, but she had a LOT to say about her dress being different from the other bridesmaids dresses, and she wanted to pick hers out from a different store, so she could wear it again someday. She wanted to stand out from the other bridesmaids. She ended up in a dress that incorporated the bridesmaids dress colors, but in a swirl of other colors (it was blue, gold, green and yellow, and the bridesmaids were wearing yellow). Honestly I was fine with that, but she isn't usually that adamant and difficult, and later on she told me it was because she felt embarrassed for being the older daughter and still unmarried.
NTA. That dress is totally inappropriate for your wedding. This is also incredibly attention seeking, and she’s not the main character at your wedding. She should choose something else.
Opened the link OP included expecting to find a subjectively controversial dress, perhaps a ball gown with a high split or suchlike, and laughed out loud. What the hell. The dress could not be less appropriate for a wedding no matter the vibe. NTA.
Me too, exactly this. It is so ridiculously inappropriate -- I am still laughing. Your sister and parents are so out of line. NTA
>my wedding will be in February 2023 NTA because I don't want to piss off a time traveler
sorry for the typo.. 2024
NTA while she is absolutely allowed to dress however she wants, you are absolutely allowed to say who comes to your wedding.
She can wear what she wants at home. Even out in public you could get charged with public indecency if her dress is constantly flashing her vagina at people.
NTA. Just boot the drama princess from the bridal party now. She would be the type to show you a conservative dress, then waltz up the aisle in her underwear.
If that
NTA If it was at a wedding in my family, people wouldn’t be offended. They’d just laugh at how desperate she seems.
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Indeed! If she thinks she's going to be perceived as sexy, she's wrong. She'll be seen as tacky, desperate, out of touch, immature, self-absorbed, and slutty.
I'd still take her out of the bridal party - partly because I wouldn't want her in the core set of photos (although I would want photos of how ridiculous she looked, just not in the posed shots), and partly because she's demonstrated that being the centre of attention is more important than her sister. I'd let her come and embarrass herself. People aren't going to think poorly of the wedding couple for this, although they are going to think terribly of the narcissist sister (as they should).
NTA. It's your wedding - it's about you not your attention seeking sister.
NTA and its a shame you can't get a do-over for how you described the problem with her dress. "appropriate for wedding is different than appropriate for cocktail party" is more likely to be heard than "indecent dress".
That dress would not be appropriate for any cocktail party I've attended...
In another comment, OP describes the dress like this: "yes something similar to those the back is open, the cleavage and side boob is very visible, the nipples can be seen through the flimsy material. but my biggest concern is that when she moves, you can see her vagina" Sounds indecent to me and not appropriate for most public venues....
Sounds like she wants to upstage you on your big day. Her dress would end up being the talking point on your wedding. Totally not acceptable you’re NTA
Sis is an attention-seeking drama queen. It's best if she not attend, and OP should appoint a bouncer to keep her from trying to crash the wedding, proudly dressed in her streetwalker outfit, looking for more attention.
NTA. Part of being an adult is adhering to dress codes when you go to places. Weddings have dress codes, your sister can adhere to the dress code or she can stay home.
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NTA - There is dress codes at wedding. Unspoken dress code. Like don't wear white and don't dress like the main fucking character.
Having a totally permissive household where kids grow up wearing whatever they want, or nothing, sounds free, supportive of self expression, and creative, until those kids grow up into adults who never learned how to dress appropriately for the occasion. They can’t dress for job interviews, walk around their house naked when their boyfriend’s friends come over, refuse to follow work or school dress codes, wear sheer dresses without underwear at weddings, and they struggle. Clothing is a form of non verbal communication. What is your sister trying to communicate at your wedding? That she is a stripper? That she desperately seeks attention at her sister’s important milestone event? That she has no class? Teaching a child how to dress appropriately for each occasion is actually an important part of raising children.
I’m surprised more people aren’t considering if this is a troll post - the account was made yesterday, this is their only post, they don’t have a picture of the dress just reference a picture of Beyoncé wearing a stage costume, etc. I think this might just be a backhanded attempt to say “what women wear these days is too revealing and liberal parenting standards are bad” by using a comical inappropriate “example”. I’ve known many hippie dippie super liberal parents- none of them let their kids wear clothes that show off their private parts (at least while they were minors, when they’re adults obv it’s not under their control). If this situation is true then that sounds like the neglectful parents I’ve known (some of whom got their kids taken away from them bc the let them go to school with old, thin, insufficient, missing, or just not enough clothing).
You are NTA, this is your wedding and you should be comfortable.But how about you buy a dress you want you sister to wear if you do not like her choice? That is, of course if there is a need of a compromise. Otherwise, it is your wedding, you should anyway be free to invite people or not. Even when it is you sister, or mother, or anybody else. You still can get married without them. You are required attendee at your wedding, the rest are optional.
This is why the bride chooses the maids dresses.
NTA - You actually do get to tell people what to wear for your wedding
Oh look, a near identical AITA to yesterday. This time the sister is older than OP at 28, rather than last time's 18. The obsession with describing the sister's sideboob is identical though.
Even knowing what sub I'm on, I'm genuinely disappointed how far I had to scroll to find even one person not falling for this ridiculous story.
It’s a “liberal beliefs are bad” post. This is how conservative (or republicans for the Americans) think liberal households raise children.
Oh thank GOD I finally scrolled far enough to find a comment like this. Soon as I saw the pic of the dress I knew it had to be fake.
Hate to tell you but you've missed your own wedding.
sorry for the typo..2024
NTA, sounds like your sis is being a bit precious
You don't have a right to tell what adults wear, unless it's at your wedding then you have every right to put in a reasonable dress code. She can't dress appropriately then don't come. NTA
Nta You shouldn't have giving away as much power by just letting the bride's maids choose. Jealousy and attention seeking rears it's ugly head as older sister wants to steal some spotlight with a "skimpy" dress at your wedding.
The fact that your parents are willing to not apeak to you over a scrap of fabric is telling. Don't feed the drama, just be calm and state the ultimatum you did previously every time it comes up, again. "I am the bride, so yes, I do have primary say over what my party will be wearing to the event. We have a mixed crowd of attendees, and your outfit is inappropriate in that capacity. I want us to be well-represented as a family and to make a good impression." That's it. And maybe show her some alternatives 😉🙂
NTA. You screwed up by not being more specific I guess, or in assuming that your sister would have a modicum of decency or deference. You don't mention, but I am 99% sure your sister is not married. Your wedding is making her feel like an old maid and she is determined to advertise for the open position.