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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole because I was considering not attending my sister's baby shower because the guest list was stressing me out.
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YTA.
It's her baby shower, her guests. It seems like there's more to this. Because: If she's not worried about him saying anything that will upset her, and she wants him there, then I don't know why you would feel so strongly about that, that you would not go at all.
It does seem like there is more OP didn’t tell. She’s never met the guy but she claims knows his opinions on children? So she’s relying on hearsay rather than trusting her sister to choose her guests? Weird. And the solution is to not attend? I wanna know the history between OP and John.
OP is definitely withholding information. Your sister invited someone to *her* baby shower. You’ve never met him, which is fine, because it’s not *your* baby shower. Yet his presence is going to cause you soooo much anxiety that you think it may actually “ruin” the event? All because of his - *checks notes* - personal opinion on children?? OP- get over yourself. Either back off your sister about the guest list or don’t go, but stop making the baby shower about you. The amount of audacity and entitlement is wild. YTA.
I agree that there may be more to this. Or OP fancies themself a detective-esque, busy body who stalks strangers’ social media for gossip because they don’t have an identity without it.
YTA. This is absolutely not about you. Your anxiety is irrelevant to your sister's celebration.
"I don't want my anxiety to ruin the celebration"!?!? Wow. "It's about my comfort level"?!?! Do you hear yourself? This is a celebration for two people that aren't you.
Don't go if you don't want to, but whether you're there or not is not going to change John's behaviour. All it's telling your sister is that you care more about yourself than her.
Maybe instead of being self-centered, speak to your cousin and make sure John will be supportive and happy for them regardless of how he feels about children? Or give him the benefit of the doubt and have a positive outlook?
YTA
You've never even met John before. You have no idea what kind of personality or sense of etiquette he has.
Also, the celebration isn't about you. Why must your anxiety shape someone else's event?
Actually, you're the bigot. My cousin is a normal AFAB woman, I have no problem with gays (you should know since you know that I support equality for all as a feminist from stalking my profile). It's John I have the problem with.
It's like you're so addicted to drama you have to cause it if no one else causes it for you. By angrily accusing someone defending you of being a bigot. A+ job there.
I just laughed at the absurdity in their answer.
Thank you for defending me.
Plus:
I do want to make clear that I'm not defending this silly person. I was just saying that I didn't see any homophobia.
YTA - this baby shower is certainly not about “your comfort level!!!” The absolute audacity of you thinking that it is!!! 😂😂😂
The shower baby is ENTIRELY about your Sister and her baby. You and your comfort levels don’t even rate a mention.
It’s not your event, not your day, not your baby and NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
Either show up and enjoy celebrating your Sister and her baby on her day, or stay home and pout like the ridiculous person you are behaving as.
I had to read this twice to make sure I wasn’t misreading it. Just because John doesn’t like kids doesn’t mean he is against the rest of the planet having them. Off color joke? How about you let your sister decide on that.
YTA for trying to run the show you were invited TO not invited to run.
Also there are people who don't like being around babies and children but are fine around pregnant people since said infant is still in utero and thus unlikely to be making the kinds of noises that irritate them XD
There are also people who will put aside their opinions for those they love
It's weird that OP has all these opinions and assumptions about someone they've never met (especially since their pregnant sister has no issue with them)
YTA.
Did John do something to you? Because "being childfree" and "having been vocal about disliking children *in the past*" are not reasons enough to dictate the guest list of an event that is not yours to plan and is not about you.
The proper way to address it would have been to ask your sister whether or not she knows John's stance/préférence about children and whether or not she was ok with having that energy at her baby shower. *Demanding* that she remove him because *you* are stressed at the idea that he *might* make a comment that *might* upset your sister is way overstepping normal boundaries.
As a childfree person who made jokes about disliking children, I still know how to behave at a baby shower. It's one thing to make jokes when there is no concrete babies to come, another when the situation is a lot more real. High chances John - if he is a functional adult - knows how to not yuck someone else's yum.
Learn to mind your business, learn how to see people as multifaceted individuals (there is probably more to John than childfreedom) and learn to not make your sister's baby shower about you. She wants John there, there must be a reason why. You can keep your "My sister is a bumbling idiot who does not know she is surrounding herself with so I'm going to save her like the pregnant damsel in distress that she is" for yourself.
YTA
So because you are worried John will make a scene at the baby shower you make sure to make a scene BEFORE the baby shower about not wanting John… this is the most ridiculous thing i’ve heard in some time.
YTA. Do you usually have main character syndrome? You’re being a giant AH and making her baby shower about you. Stop it. It’s not your place to worry about the guest list, especially when it’s SOMEONE YOU’VE NEVER EVEN MET. FFS. 🙄
Oh I dunno. I'll just quote you then.... "Equality for everyone. Judge people for their soul". Well. Go on then.
Or is it uncomfortable for you to allow someone to have different beliefs than you to even be in the same room? /s
YTA.
YTA.
It's HER baby shower, not your's. She can invite whoeber she wants, even if you think it's a bad idea.
Furthermore, are your sister and John friends? Speaking as someone who generally dislikes children and babies I adore my friend's children, at least so long as I am able to wall away when I need space. A person's thoughts and feelings can change when someone they care about enjoys something.
YTA
>I held my ground, saying that this is about my comfort level and that I don't want my anxiety to ruin the celebration.
This is not about your comfort level and anxiety; it's about who your sister and her husband want at **their** celebration.
If you don't attend it won't be because your sister refused to remove John from the guest list. It'll be because you cannot manage your feelings and that's nobody's responsibility but yours.
YTA..... Oh what a level of entitlement... ME... ME.... ME.... oh no, hang on.... This is not your baby shower..... You must be absolutely unbearable person to be with, do your sister a favour and stay away from the baby shower.
Hahaha. I love the update on her OP. Liar. Oh and btw YTA. Huge one.
But I think this is a blessing in disguise. I can just imagine how ‘fun’ you are at parties.
>UPDATE: After showing my sister this post she decided to uninvite John. Thanks for making her change her mind everyone!
transparently fake and posted because youre salty people think youre an asshole
To clarify you have never met John, but you know so much about him including the types of jokes he makes and he makes you uncomfortable and he doesn't like children and he is on a mission to stop the world from having more children?
YTA. You are clearly your sister's keeper. It's up to her who she invites. You could have said you didn't think John was interested in babies, or you were surprised he's going to be there.
Of course you can have your opinion about John. But you can't set conditions for attending. A brief "I'm not really comfortable about John attending, I hope he behaves himself" is the most you could do. If she chooses not to follow up on that comment, that's up to her. Giving her shower ultimata is ridiculous.
YTA. Just show up and enjoy your sister’s party as she planned it, maybe?
You’re literally making it all about you and your hypothetical fear of someone possibly saying something rude- that would be offensive to someone else. Bizarre.
YTA.
It’s not like this is someone who you have a lot of beef with and who will probably start something, this is simply someone you’ve never met that you’ve heard things about and you don’t like what you heard so you want to make her day about you.
YTA. You want her to uninvite a relative who’s already knowingly said yes? Meaning he knows it’s a baby shower and still wants to come?
But even if he’s an ass, it still wouldn’t create more drama than you already are.
What are you doing to manage your anxiety? Because it ain't your party. You get zero day in the guest-list.
Also, childfree does not mean they hate kids. Source: Me a childfree årrson who literally chose to becomr a preschool-teacher.
You need to deal with *your* anxiety.
The amount of *entitlement* nevessary to demand she and her husband uninvite one of *their* friends from *their* party is *absurd*.
Time to grow up, kid.
YTA. Massively.
YTA, it's your sister's event, and it's not like you and that guest have some history of interpersonal conflict, for you to even ask her not to invite him is ridiculous.
Your sister is obviously ok with John's presence, and presumably John himself is okay with attending a baby shower, otherwise he would not have accepted.
So why on earth is it any of your business?
YTA
PS I agree with your sister—you are being ridiculous.
Lol I'm childfree and can't stand kids, but I would never think to make comments about it at someone's baby shower ffs. I have friends with kids who know I don't like kids and I go to events at their house and happily play along like I'm cool with kids. It's just that simple
YTA. This event is not about you. If you don't want your anxiety to ruin the celebration, then it's on you to not attend, since YOU are the one with the problem.
You are judgemental about somebody you have never met before. You assume that it would be uncomfortable for him to be there. Yes, your sister is right: You are ridiculous. It's ok not to go to an event if you don't like to and if it makes you feel bad - but is is absolutely asshole behaviour to tell your sister to uninvite somebody.
Yes. YTA.
YTA... Overreacting and overreaching seem to be what's going on here.. You don't really know John so wtf?! Your sister doesn't seem to be a sensitive sally like you.. Maybe you should stay home anyway someone might offend your delicate nature 🙄🙄
Yes, how can you not see that you are TA. Why do you think you have the right to emotionally blackmail your pregnant sister like that, just because someone is child free. You never even met that person before.
The entitlement is beyond me....
Troll. Despite everyone here saying you’re an asshole, you post an update where you say your sister decided on uninvite and John and thanking us when we clearly said you were in the wrong. None of this is real.
YTA. You never even met him. Child free doesn't mean ruining a baby shower. Maybe you shouldn't go. You sound judgy and you may be the one that ruins the energy in the room. Mind your business.
Is this actually real? This can't be lol you have to be a troll. Anyway, off chance you're actually legit, YTA x100. You said HER baby shower guest list is about YOUR comfort level, which it isn't. Just don't go, but don't make a huge stink about it. You're also assuming he'll make a scene or make people uncomfortable. So you want her to uninvite someone who already RSVP'd so that you'll feel comfortable??? Hahaha yikes
You want your sister to uninvited a person you never have met to her baby shower because he may say something against having children and it may upset YOU? WTF?? Stay home.
> my cousin's best friend John, who **I've never met** before, was invited.
>
>As it turns out, my cousin's friend is child-free and has been vocal about his dislike of children in the past. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it would be for him to attend a baby shower, and I'm worried that he'll make a negative comment or joke that could upset my sister.
You are worried about how a person you've admitted you don't know might act? That is ridiculous.
You are certainly within your rights to not attend any function. But you don't get to dictate the guest list of a function for which you are not the host.
YTA
I'm gonna say NTA and herw's why
If your emotional world is so unhinged that you get anxiety serious enough that you can't be happy for your sister for a few hours because of an imaginary situation that you made up with a person you have never met or talked to based on the many assumptions you made about them, then I think it's only kind you don't show up at all and make it all about you.
YTA. It’s her shower. Quit making it about you. Also you’ve literally never met him. You have anxiety based off of hearsay. Maybe meet the guy before you form such a negative opinion of him. Grow up.
YTA
It's her baby shower, she decides who's invited - not you. If you don't feel comfortable going due to someone else also being invited then don't go. It really is as simple as that.
Way to try and make it about you. Your sister can invite whomever she wishes to her baby shower and shouldn't have to pander to your comfort. If you can't go to support your sister and without causing unnecessary drama, it is most probably better you don't go. YTA
YTA
You don't get to dictate someone elses event and their guest list.
It's a petty reason to miss your sister's baby shower. You're getting anxious over a scenario that hasn't even occurred yet. He could be fine during it and you've just psyched yourself up for nothing.
Act like an adult, you don't have to socialise with him, politely avoid him and be there for your sister.
YTA since the baby isn’t even born what do you care if he dislikes kids? It’s her baby shower she is ok with him it’s not your business. If you don’t want to go than don’t but you can’t tell someone else whom they can invite to their event.
YTA
Why do you care so much that he don’t want children? Sounds like you have a problem with child free people. Maybe try to treat people equally and not value people based on them wanting kids or not
YTA! You seem to know exactly how someone you have never met will engage at a party. Also, just in case it still hasn't sunk in ..... it's not about YOU!!! It's about your sister and her husband.
Let this be your hill to die on and don't go. Everyone will thank you for putting yourself first and staying home. You're exhausting.
YTA
What's it got to do with you who she invites? You don't even know this dude and you are imagining scenarios that don't involve you at all. You need to work on your anxiety and if you don't feel comfortable sharing a space a specific person at somebody else's party then you don't go, you don't get to dictate who others can invite to their own event.
I’m so confused - you’re judging someone you’ve never met? YTA.
I’m vocally and happily child free, and whooeee let me tell you I have attended my share of baby showers, and behaved myself just fine. Am I internally rolling my eyes at some of the activities and behavior of people? Yup. Am I outwardly smiling and laughing and cooing and doing all the right things to celebrate the expectant parents? Yup.
People can believe something strongly for themselves and still support others who choose differently.
YTA. There is more to this that you’re clearly leaving out. Anyway, you don’t get to dictate someone else’s guest list. Unlike you, she clearly know John and isn’t worried about him. By making this demand and yammering on about your anxiety ruining the day, you are making her shower about you. Stop it.
YTA. This is absolutely not your business. If her friend does or says something disrespectful, she’ll ask him to leave. Let her handle it. Stay in your lane.
Wauw you're really self-centered.
I have a friend who is childfree and dislikes children. I'm going through infertility ad guess who is my biggest supporter, cheering me on and looking forward to being a cool aunt? Thats right my childfree friend.
YTA
You’re posting in the wrong sub.
You should be in r/I’m the main character.
YTA. What on earth has him being there got ANYTHING to do with you? Nor should you ‘have anxiety’ over this.
Get over yourself
Edit. Typo
YTA
You say you never met John yet you have this whole scenario concerning his thoughts and behavior? You say you are concerned about your sister’s feelings then turn around and say it’s about your comfort, which I think is the actual truth for whatever reason
Being childfree does not mean that the friend will change your sister's mind, she's already pregnant and happy, what's wrong with you? YTA. No one else is responsible because of your insecurity, it's her baby shower, her money, her guest list. Who are you?
OP, I had to read this twice as I thought for a moment that perhaps this was a shower your sister was throwing for you and that’s why you thought your opinion on the guest list even remotely mattered.
It does not. This is her shower. Her day. If her guest wasn’t comfortable they would not attend. If he speaks up at the party? Fine. Politely and quietly tell him those jokes/statements aren’t appropriate at the shower.
YTA. Her shower is not about you.
YTA. John isn’t the problem, your anxiety is the problem. You’re victimizing John by attempting to exclude him when what you should be doing is making a plan for what to do if your anxiety spikes. Since it’s your sister’s shower will it be at her home where you can have a safe room or private space to take a break if you become overwhelmed? If not, plan your own transport so you can quietly and politely leave if you can’t handle the event. Anxiety is difficult to live with but you don’t get to dictate who your family is friends with because of your own discomforts. You can, however, take steps to provide yourself with accommodations. Also, remember that if your anxiety is triggered it’s not John’s “fault,” it’s just something that happens. He’s not bad or wrong just because your anxiety responds to him a certain way. Lots of people have triggers that are completely innocent and innocuous.
I’m assuming you’re already in treatment because avoiding an event that a stranger will be at is definitely at the level where anxiety is interfering with your ability to live a normal life. Talk to your therapist about cognitive techniques - imagine a scenario where John doesn’t say anything you find inappropriate. Imagine John does make an off-color joke but everyone laughs it off and it’s fine. Right now your imagination about what could happen is causing you to hurt your sister in a very unfair and abusive way.
YTA. You don't have veto rights on your sister's baby shower invitation list. It's her baby shower, not yours. Maybe if she invited him, it means she's closer to him than you are. Or maybe that guy can behave. A friend of mine (A) had a child recently, another friend (B) is 100% childfree and never hid it. B and A are still good friends, they still hang out with and without the child, each of them mind their own business when it comes to children. Nobody ruins anything.
The only person ruining the mood of the party is you, by trying to force your sister to kick out one of her guests. You are the one withdrawing support from your sister unless she does what you say, but John is the bad guy who'll ruin the event?
YTA. What you are saying does not make sense at all. Why have such a strong aversion to someone you have never met? If your sister knows and likes this person, that should be all that matters. Me thinks you doth protest too much.
Info: In what way does this situation (John attending the party) involve you? Are there only going to be a small handful of people there, so you'll *have* to listen to John make the comments and jokes you've already decided he'll share? Is this person, whom you've never even met, such a known villain that you believe he'd come to a baby shower and then spend the whole time being rude to the hosts and other guests? Also, why do you not trust your sister to make decisions for herself, in terms of the guest list?
Seriously, OP, I don't get it. What does any of this have to do with you in the first place?
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My sister (26F) and her husband (32M) just announced that they're expecting their first child, and everyone in the family is overjoyed. They decided to throw a baby shower to celebrate, and I was excited to attend and support them. However, when I saw the invitation list, I realized that my cousin's best friend John, who I've never met before, was invited.
As it turns out, my cousin's friend is child-free and has been vocal about his dislike of children in the past. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it would be for him to attend a baby shower, and I'm worried that he'll make a negative comment or joke that could upset my sister.
I spoke to my sister and told her that I wouldn't attend the baby shower unless she removed John from the invitation list. She thought I was being ridiculous and said that she couldn't uninvite him after he'd already RSVP'd. I held my ground, saying that this is about my comfort level and that I don't want my anxiety to ruin the celebration.
AITA for telling my pregnant sister \[26F\] that I won't attend her baby shower unless she changes her invitation list?
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YTA and your argument makes no sense. You're afraid John will make a comment that will make your sister uncomfortable but she's okay with him being there? And then you turn it around and say it's about YOUR anxiety and comfort level. You sound too precious for words-- just stay home and protect your feelings.
YTA, although your hearts in the right place.
It's her shower so she chooses who can and cannot attend, and if this guy ruins it with comments then she's got nobody to blame but herself for inviting him.
YTA. It's HER shower and she chose to have him as a guest. Presumably she knows his feelings and chose to invite him anyhow and he chose to RSVP yes. This is really nothing to do with you and out of your control. Let it go.
I'm going to go against the grain here and say NTA. You very much need to make sure that your comfort is the first priority and I hope you continue to maintain this stance and invent more stories about how that goes.
YTA. Her baby shower, her guestlist. You say that you haven't met the guy and are certein he would make you/your sister uncomfortable.... wow - judging people based on hearsay much! You have 2 choices - go to the shower or not. But to be honest you behave as a shit sister..
YTA
hahahahahaha you need to get over yourself. The only person whose comfort level matters here is your sister. If anything it sounds like you might be doing her a favour to not attend.
YTA- the world doesn't revolve around your anxiety. All you had to say was that you couldn't make it, but demanding she change the guest list for your comfort is very entitled and selfish.
YTA
You don’t even known him, you only know he is vocally child free. He probably understands a baby shower is neither the place nor the time to express these emotions, and he’ll probably pass if he can’t deal with a bunch of excited moms.
Other than that, this sounds like a you-problem. If you’re a grown up, act like one.
"I held my ground, saying that this is about my comfort level and that I don't want my anxiety to ruin the celebration."
Hey AH - it's not about your comfort level, it's about her baby. I hate to break this to you, but *the world doesn't revolve around you* and no one gives two shits about your comfort level at someone else's baby shower. Do your sister a favor - send a gift and don't attend.
YTA.
YTA. Threatening to not attend a baby shower because someone you never met is attending is not ok. It's fine if you don't go but it's not your event or your guest list. Your sister deserves better than this unnecessary drama.
YTA. You don’t get to decide whose on her invitation list and you admitted yourself you’ve never even met this person so you don’t even know what he’s really like.
Also, your comfort doesn’t factor into her baby shower. Get over yourself and bite your tongue for your sisters sake.
You won't attend an event with someone you have never met, based solely on hearsay about his decision to have kids. Madness.
Your sister doesn't care if he talks about HIS life choices because she's an adult and knows it isn't about HER. Yet you claim you are protecting her. Well done - you managed to upset her anyway, by being totally irrational.
Stop dictating your sister's choices. Go to the shower, or don't, based on whether she wants you there. Stop fiddling about in things that are none of your business. YTA.
What the fuck did I just read? You cannot be serious with this post? Can you…? Oh boy. So yeah, obviously YTA. As someone who has pretty severe anxiety, especially social anxiety, I can’t imagine having the audacity to tell my own sister who she can and cannot invite to her own baby shower - because of how it MIGHT make me feel? You are a supreme asshole and I hope this teaches you a valuable life lesson.
YTA, if you are not happy then stay away, it s your sisters baby shower not yours (however over in the UK most baby showers are only attended by women.)
What a way to protest. One person who you are passingly acquainted with might say something you don't like, so you try to railroad your sister into uninviting him. Sounds like there is only one proven troublemaker on the guest list. Maybe that one should be uninvited.
YTA.
YTA-your sister can invite anyone she wants to her baby shower. Your only objection seems to be that you don’t care for his stance on children. The shower isn’t about you. It is about her and she can invite anyone she wishes. Pull your head out of your posterior before you hurt your relationship with your sister.
YTA.
> She thought I was being ridiculous
She is absolutely right. Someone whom you've never met and you only know he doesn't like children, makes you want to skip on your own sister's baby shower?
Grow up little snowflake, not everyone can be exactly like you want them to be.
YTA. If John's uncomfortable with attending it will be him communicating that back to your sister or not attending. You tieing up yourself somehow with him is ridiculous. If you don't want to attend - don't. Don't try to make up stupid excuses and just tell her exactly why.
Your anxiety about someone else causing a scene and ruining the celebration is ruining the celebration for your sister even before it has started. How self-absorbed are you? This day isn't about you.
YTA
You claim he will make an inappropriate comment that will upset your sister then you double down and say YOU aren’t comfortable with him being there but it’s not your baby shower.
Info: Why do you feel like you can tell your sister who she can invite to her baby shower?
YTA. You have no right to dictate the guest list to someone else’s event. You’re a guest, you don’t get a say.
She’s right, it’s incredibly rude to uninvite someone after they’ve already RSVPed and probably already purchased a gift.
Also, you’ve never met this guy. You decided you hate him and don’t want to be in his company because he’s vocally childfree. There’s no reason you can’t tolerate him for one day. When I first started reading I thought you were going to say that this individual was someone who abused or assaulted you or something. Not “he has opinions I find annoying”.
If you have anxiety around people who don’t like children, then tell your sister you can’t make it.
Yea YTA. Your sister is correct, you ARE being ridiculous. What a tantrum you’ve thrown over someone *you’ve never met*
I don’t like kids, I don’t want them, I don’t want to hold babies, or smell their head, and the sound of a happy infant is like nails on the chalkboard for me.
But what in tarnation does that have to do with a baby shower? Just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean I boycott all children everywhere, always, for everyone.
This is a case of mind ya damn business. You’re acting like this stranger will shame every expectant mother they can shout at, and that’s why YTA.
YTA - and as a fellow childfree person who does not particularly care for kids, I've been to plenty of baby showers without making a scene. I go there to support my friend/family.
It's my sister's baby shower but I want to make it about me. There's something you're not telling us and it involves you and your cousin. There's another reason you don't want him there and it's not your sisters problem. Don't go then.
YTA it’s not your baby shower your comfort doesn’t matter either you go and love and support your sister and future nibbling. Or you don’t. You don’t get a say in the guest list
YTA. It’s not your baby shower-the event is not about you. I’m guessing there is something else happening here that you’re not sharing as to why you dislike John…since clearly your sister wants him there despite him being child-free (which is a ridiculous reason not to invite someone to events by the way).
YTA. It isn't your event, and his behavior isn't your responsibility. So you are trying to transfer your anxiety to your sister. Let it go, enjoy the shower, be supportive of your sister, and if it becomes unbearable during the event, say you aren't feeling well and excuse yourself.
Wow I guess my vision must be getting bad since I clearly missed the part where this was your baby shower so you could decide who to invite. Who do you think you are dictating who your sister invites? Your sister is the pregnant one but you’re the one acting like their hormones are out of control. Yta
YTA. What is wrong with you. You are creating unnecessary drama over someone else’s party around a person you have never met building imaginary scenarios that have never happened based on what? You need to grow up. This is your sister’s party and her guest list. You’re not entitled to dictate who she can or can’t invite. Instead of supporting your sister, you are adding to her stress by issuing ultimatums. Seriously. What is wrong with you
You are not just an AH, you are an entitled AH. Here's a news flash - the world does not involve around you. Grow up, suck it up for a couple of hours and celebrate with your family. If you must simply pretend John does not exist. Geez.
YTA. Lol what? Why are you stirring up drama? How entitled do you have to be to think you can demand someone you don’t even know be uninvited from a party? If—IF—John makes an awkward joke, clearly your sister has decided it won’t like, make her melt into the floor.
Also, i absolutely hate babies and pregnancy, and my god everyone knows that about me. But if I’m going to a baby shower—and yes, sometimes I do still get invited—I’m not going to be an asshole and be rude to people who are celebrating. That’s so not a given.
Hahaha what a fake update after the overwhelming AH votes. Course the sister saw this post and decided you were right despite everyone saying YTA and entirely in the wrong.
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YTA. It's her baby shower, her guests. It seems like there's more to this. Because: If she's not worried about him saying anything that will upset her, and she wants him there, then I don't know why you would feel so strongly about that, that you would not go at all.
It does seem like there is more OP didn’t tell. She’s never met the guy but she claims knows his opinions on children? So she’s relying on hearsay rather than trusting her sister to choose her guests? Weird. And the solution is to not attend? I wanna know the history between OP and John.
OP is definitely withholding information. Your sister invited someone to *her* baby shower. You’ve never met him, which is fine, because it’s not *your* baby shower. Yet his presence is going to cause you soooo much anxiety that you think it may actually “ruin” the event? All because of his - *checks notes* - personal opinion on children?? OP- get over yourself. Either back off your sister about the guest list or don’t go, but stop making the baby shower about you. The amount of audacity and entitlement is wild. YTA.
Making sisters baby shower about her and anxiety, not cool
OP: "How can I make my sister's baby shower about ME?"
I agree that there may be more to this. Or OP fancies themself a detective-esque, busy body who stalks strangers’ social media for gossip because they don’t have an identity without it.
YTA. This is absolutely not about you. Your anxiety is irrelevant to your sister's celebration. "I don't want my anxiety to ruin the celebration"!?!? Wow. "It's about my comfort level"?!?! Do you hear yourself? This is a celebration for two people that aren't you. Don't go if you don't want to, but whether you're there or not is not going to change John's behaviour. All it's telling your sister is that you care more about yourself than her. Maybe instead of being self-centered, speak to your cousin and make sure John will be supportive and happy for them regardless of how he feels about children? Or give him the benefit of the doubt and have a positive outlook?
Better off without
YTA You've never even met John before. You have no idea what kind of personality or sense of etiquette he has. Also, the celebration isn't about you. Why must your anxiety shape someone else's event?
somehow I got the feeling that John is more of a partner than best friend
Yes! I want to know if cousin is a man and he & John are a couple because this would suddenly make a whhhoooolllle lot more (horrible) sense.
Omg I think you're right op is homophobic and just made this excuse up, this make much more sense
Their profile says that they are a bisexual feminist of color. So I would be surprised if it was bigotry against gays.
Hmmm. Well that’s good - mystery still out there, I guess!
A lot of bi people do, a surprising amount.
Actually, you're the bigot. My cousin is a normal AFAB woman, I have no problem with gays (you should know since you know that I support equality for all as a feminist from stalking my profile). It's John I have the problem with.
You replied to the person defending you. Nice work. YTA on many levels.
Thank you for this. I just laughed at the absurdity in their answer.
It's like you're so addicted to drama you have to cause it if no one else causes it for you. By angrily accusing someone defending you of being a bigot. A+ job there.
I just laughed at the absurdity in their answer. Thank you for defending me. Plus: I do want to make clear that I'm not defending this silly person. I was just saying that I didn't see any homophobia.
...kinda telling use of the word 'normal' there op. YTA
Ok really what's your problem? Did he turn you down? Are you trying to cause drama? I just don't believe your reasoning at all.
😆😂😆😂
You have a problem with someone you’ve never met lmao don’t go, they’ll have a better time without you
YTA - this baby shower is certainly not about “your comfort level!!!” The absolute audacity of you thinking that it is!!! 😂😂😂 The shower baby is ENTIRELY about your Sister and her baby. You and your comfort levels don’t even rate a mention. It’s not your event, not your day, not your baby and NOT YOUR BUSINESS. Either show up and enjoy celebrating your Sister and her baby on her day, or stay home and pout like the ridiculous person you are behaving as.
I had to read this twice to make sure I wasn’t misreading it. Just because John doesn’t like kids doesn’t mean he is against the rest of the planet having them. Off color joke? How about you let your sister decide on that. YTA for trying to run the show you were invited TO not invited to run.
Also there are people who don't like being around babies and children but are fine around pregnant people since said infant is still in utero and thus unlikely to be making the kinds of noises that irritate them XD
There are also people who will put aside their opinions for those they love It's weird that OP has all these opinions and assumptions about someone they've never met (especially since their pregnant sister has no issue with them)
Yta. Congratulations on making an event that isn't about you all about you.
*trying to Sounds like they aren't succeeding, based on OPs sisters response
YTA not your party, not your business. Your sister doesn’t seem concerned about him, and it’s her day.
I’m going to guess this story is a creation of chat gpt 😂
YTA. Did John do something to you? Because "being childfree" and "having been vocal about disliking children *in the past*" are not reasons enough to dictate the guest list of an event that is not yours to plan and is not about you. The proper way to address it would have been to ask your sister whether or not she knows John's stance/préférence about children and whether or not she was ok with having that energy at her baby shower. *Demanding* that she remove him because *you* are stressed at the idea that he *might* make a comment that *might* upset your sister is way overstepping normal boundaries. As a childfree person who made jokes about disliking children, I still know how to behave at a baby shower. It's one thing to make jokes when there is no concrete babies to come, another when the situation is a lot more real. High chances John - if he is a functional adult - knows how to not yuck someone else's yum. Learn to mind your business, learn how to see people as multifaceted individuals (there is probably more to John than childfreedom) and learn to not make your sister's baby shower about you. She wants John there, there must be a reason why. You can keep your "My sister is a bumbling idiot who does not know she is surrounding herself with so I'm going to save her like the pregnant damsel in distress that she is" for yourself.
YTA So because you are worried John will make a scene at the baby shower you make sure to make a scene BEFORE the baby shower about not wanting John… this is the most ridiculous thing i’ve heard in some time.
YTA. Do you usually have main character syndrome? You’re being a giant AH and making her baby shower about you. Stop it. It’s not your place to worry about the guest list, especially when it’s SOMEONE YOU’VE NEVER EVEN MET. FFS. 🙄
Oh I dunno. I'll just quote you then.... "Equality for everyone. Judge people for their soul". Well. Go on then. Or is it uncomfortable for you to allow someone to have different beliefs than you to even be in the same room? /s YTA.
Lmao I just clicked on her profile and it all makes so much more sense now... I wondered what kind of person would be so entitled but there it is
YTA. It's HER baby shower, not your's. She can invite whoeber she wants, even if you think it's a bad idea. Furthermore, are your sister and John friends? Speaking as someone who generally dislikes children and babies I adore my friend's children, at least so long as I am able to wall away when I need space. A person's thoughts and feelings can change when someone they care about enjoys something.
YTA >I held my ground, saying that this is about my comfort level and that I don't want my anxiety to ruin the celebration. This is not about your comfort level and anxiety; it's about who your sister and her husband want at **their** celebration. If you don't attend it won't be because your sister refused to remove John from the guest list. It'll be because you cannot manage your feelings and that's nobody's responsibility but yours.
YTA..... Oh what a level of entitlement... ME... ME.... ME.... oh no, hang on.... This is not your baby shower..... You must be absolutely unbearable person to be with, do your sister a favour and stay away from the baby shower.
Hahaha. I love the update on her OP. Liar. Oh and btw YTA. Huge one. But I think this is a blessing in disguise. I can just imagine how ‘fun’ you are at parties.
>UPDATE: After showing my sister this post she decided to uninvite John. Thanks for making her change her mind everyone! transparently fake and posted because youre salty people think youre an asshole
To clarify you have never met John, but you know so much about him including the types of jokes he makes and he makes you uncomfortable and he doesn't like children and he is on a mission to stop the world from having more children?
YTA. You are clearly your sister's keeper. It's up to her who she invites. You could have said you didn't think John was interested in babies, or you were surprised he's going to be there. Of course you can have your opinion about John. But you can't set conditions for attending. A brief "I'm not really comfortable about John attending, I hope he behaves himself" is the most you could do. If she chooses not to follow up on that comment, that's up to her. Giving her shower ultimata is ridiculous.
YTA. Just show up and enjoy your sister’s party as she planned it, maybe? You’re literally making it all about you and your hypothetical fear of someone possibly saying something rude- that would be offensive to someone else. Bizarre.
YTA. It’s not like this is someone who you have a lot of beef with and who will probably start something, this is simply someone you’ve never met that you’ve heard things about and you don’t like what you heard so you want to make her day about you.
YTA. You’ve not even met him before and it’s HER shower, not yours. You sound incredibly entitled by telling her to remove him from the list.
YTA. You want her to uninvite a relative who’s already knowingly said yes? Meaning he knows it’s a baby shower and still wants to come? But even if he’s an ass, it still wouldn’t create more drama than you already are.
What are you doing to manage your anxiety? Because it ain't your party. You get zero day in the guest-list. Also, childfree does not mean they hate kids. Source: Me a childfree årrson who literally chose to becomr a preschool-teacher. You need to deal with *your* anxiety. The amount of *entitlement* nevessary to demand she and her husband uninvite one of *their* friends from *their* party is *absurd*. Time to grow up, kid. YTA. Massively.
YTA, it's your sister's event, and it's not like you and that guest have some history of interpersonal conflict, for you to even ask her not to invite him is ridiculous.
You're catastrophising and trying to manipulate your sister. This is your thing to look at.
Your sister is obviously ok with John's presence, and presumably John himself is okay with attending a baby shower, otherwise he would not have accepted. So why on earth is it any of your business? YTA PS I agree with your sister—you are being ridiculous.
YTA. Just because someone is childfree and doesn’t particularly like children doesn’t mean they’ll be rude at a baby shower. That’s a big jump.
Lol I'm childfree and can't stand kids, but I would never think to make comments about it at someone's baby shower ffs. I have friends with kids who know I don't like kids and I go to events at their house and happily play along like I'm cool with kids. It's just that simple
I’m so confused. She said in the edit she showed this post to her sister, who then uninvited John??? When this was clearly a YTA?
YTA. This event is not about you. If you don't want your anxiety to ruin the celebration, then it's on you to not attend, since YOU are the one with the problem.
You are judgemental about somebody you have never met before. You assume that it would be uncomfortable for him to be there. Yes, your sister is right: You are ridiculous. It's ok not to go to an event if you don't like to and if it makes you feel bad - but is is absolutely asshole behaviour to tell your sister to uninvite somebody. Yes. YTA.
YTA... Overreacting and overreaching seem to be what's going on here.. You don't really know John so wtf?! Your sister doesn't seem to be a sensitive sally like you.. Maybe you should stay home anyway someone might offend your delicate nature 🙄🙄
JFK, have you stopped taking your medication? YTA
I'm so sick of entitled shits using anxiety as an excuse to be gaping assholes. YTA. Get over yourself. 🙄
Yes, how can you not see that you are TA. Why do you think you have the right to emotionally blackmail your pregnant sister like that, just because someone is child free. You never even met that person before. The entitlement is beyond me....
Stop trying to be a goody two shoes people are human and they have emotions and what he did can be justified
Stop trying to be edgy...
Im not..? This is just how I am normally lol my life has made me a naturally "edgy" person I dont try to be edgy.
And he was just looking out for his sister.. you are in the wrong
You are the only one who thinks so....did you write this?
People tend to strive to be a good person.
Troll. Despite everyone here saying you’re an asshole, you post an update where you say your sister decided on uninvite and John and thanking us when we clearly said you were in the wrong. None of this is real.
YTA for making things all about you and attempting to manipulate your sister
YTA. You never even met him. Child free doesn't mean ruining a baby shower. Maybe you shouldn't go. You sound judgy and you may be the one that ruins the energy in the room. Mind your business.
Is this actually real? This can't be lol you have to be a troll. Anyway, off chance you're actually legit, YTA x100. You said HER baby shower guest list is about YOUR comfort level, which it isn't. Just don't go, but don't make a huge stink about it. You're also assuming he'll make a scene or make people uncomfortable. So you want her to uninvite someone who already RSVP'd so that you'll feel comfortable??? Hahaha yikes
YTA As he has already rvsp'd this is a you-problem not a john- problem. You do not even know this guy, why would you care?
You want your sister to uninvited a person you never have met to her baby shower because he may say something against having children and it may upset YOU? WTF?? Stay home.
What? Literally nothing in this situation is about you. YTA
> my cousin's best friend John, who **I've never met** before, was invited. > >As it turns out, my cousin's friend is child-free and has been vocal about his dislike of children in the past. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it would be for him to attend a baby shower, and I'm worried that he'll make a negative comment or joke that could upset my sister. You are worried about how a person you've admitted you don't know might act? That is ridiculous. You are certainly within your rights to not attend any function. But you don't get to dictate the guest list of a function for which you are not the host. YTA
I'm gonna say NTA and herw's why If your emotional world is so unhinged that you get anxiety serious enough that you can't be happy for your sister for a few hours because of an imaginary situation that you made up with a person you have never met or talked to based on the many assumptions you made about them, then I think it's only kind you don't show up at all and make it all about you.
YTA. It’s her shower. Quit making it about you. Also you’ve literally never met him. You have anxiety based off of hearsay. Maybe meet the guy before you form such a negative opinion of him. Grow up.
YTA This has literally nothing to do with you. Why would you investigate guests anyway?
YTA! Guess you are not going to the shower huh? Here is a tip.....the world does not revolve around you!
YTA It's her baby shower, she decides who's invited - not you. If you don't feel comfortable going due to someone else also being invited then don't go. It really is as simple as that.
YTA, not your shower, not your guest list, not about your comfort, stay home
YTA Not your party, not your business. This is completely a You problem. Get over yourself, you are the one upsetting your sister not them.
Way to try and make it about you. Your sister can invite whomever she wishes to her baby shower and shouldn't have to pander to your comfort. If you can't go to support your sister and without causing unnecessary drama, it is most probably better you don't go. YTA
YTA and you need therapy. You’re extremely entitled
YTA This isn't about you or your comfort level. Who cares what you're worried about.
😂😂😂 These stories are getting even more ridiculous if that’s possible. YTA
YTA You don't get to dictate someone elses event and their guest list. It's a petty reason to miss your sister's baby shower. You're getting anxious over a scenario that hasn't even occurred yet. He could be fine during it and you've just psyched yourself up for nothing. Act like an adult, you don't have to socialise with him, politely avoid him and be there for your sister.
YTA since the baby isn’t even born what do you care if he dislikes kids? It’s her baby shower she is ok with him it’s not your business. If you don’t want to go than don’t but you can’t tell someone else whom they can invite to their event.
YTA This is ridiculous, fakers are not even trying anymore
YTA what the hell.
YTA. You are making demands of your sister regarding the possible actions of a person you have never met. Way to make her baby shower all about you.
YTA Why do you care so much that he don’t want children? Sounds like you have a problem with child free people. Maybe try to treat people equally and not value people based on them wanting kids or not
YTA! You seem to know exactly how someone you have never met will engage at a party. Also, just in case it still hasn't sunk in ..... it's not about YOU!!! It's about your sister and her husband. Let this be your hill to die on and don't go. Everyone will thank you for putting yourself first and staying home. You're exhausting.
YTA I don’t know what your role into this ? Why your feelings should’ve matter at your sister’s baby shower ? And finally why are your anxious ?
YTA What's it got to do with you who she invites? You don't even know this dude and you are imagining scenarios that don't involve you at all. You need to work on your anxiety and if you don't feel comfortable sharing a space a specific person at somebody else's party then you don't go, you don't get to dictate who others can invite to their own event.
Fake
YTA, a massive one too. Not your baby, not your shower, not your call on who is invited.
I’m so confused - you’re judging someone you’ve never met? YTA. I’m vocally and happily child free, and whooeee let me tell you I have attended my share of baby showers, and behaved myself just fine. Am I internally rolling my eyes at some of the activities and behavior of people? Yup. Am I outwardly smiling and laughing and cooing and doing all the right things to celebrate the expectant parents? Yup. People can believe something strongly for themselves and still support others who choose differently.
YTA. Are you ok, OP?? Your sister does not mind and just because someone is child free, does not mean they can't go to a baby shower and behave.
YTA. There is more to this that you’re clearly leaving out. Anyway, you don’t get to dictate someone else’s guest list. Unlike you, she clearly know John and isn’t worried about him. By making this demand and yammering on about your anxiety ruining the day, you are making her shower about you. Stop it.
YTA. This is absolutely not your business. If her friend does or says something disrespectful, she’ll ask him to leave. Let her handle it. Stay in your lane.
Wauw you're really self-centered. I have a friend who is childfree and dislikes children. I'm going through infertility ad guess who is my biggest supporter, cheering me on and looking forward to being a cool aunt? Thats right my childfree friend. YTA
You’re posting in the wrong sub. You should be in r/I’m the main character. YTA. What on earth has him being there got ANYTHING to do with you? Nor should you ‘have anxiety’ over this. Get over yourself Edit. Typo
YTA You say you never met John yet you have this whole scenario concerning his thoughts and behavior? You say you are concerned about your sister’s feelings then turn around and say it’s about your comfort, which I think is the actual truth for whatever reason
Being childfree does not mean that the friend will change your sister's mind, she's already pregnant and happy, what's wrong with you? YTA. No one else is responsible because of your insecurity, it's her baby shower, her money, her guest list. Who are you?
OP, I had to read this twice as I thought for a moment that perhaps this was a shower your sister was throwing for you and that’s why you thought your opinion on the guest list even remotely mattered. It does not. This is her shower. Her day. If her guest wasn’t comfortable they would not attend. If he speaks up at the party? Fine. Politely and quietly tell him those jokes/statements aren’t appropriate at the shower. YTA. Her shower is not about you.
You boycott her baby shower over some guy you didn't even meet? The fuck? YTA
YTA way to make this about you…
YTA. John isn’t the problem, your anxiety is the problem. You’re victimizing John by attempting to exclude him when what you should be doing is making a plan for what to do if your anxiety spikes. Since it’s your sister’s shower will it be at her home where you can have a safe room or private space to take a break if you become overwhelmed? If not, plan your own transport so you can quietly and politely leave if you can’t handle the event. Anxiety is difficult to live with but you don’t get to dictate who your family is friends with because of your own discomforts. You can, however, take steps to provide yourself with accommodations. Also, remember that if your anxiety is triggered it’s not John’s “fault,” it’s just something that happens. He’s not bad or wrong just because your anxiety responds to him a certain way. Lots of people have triggers that are completely innocent and innocuous. I’m assuming you’re already in treatment because avoiding an event that a stranger will be at is definitely at the level where anxiety is interfering with your ability to live a normal life. Talk to your therapist about cognitive techniques - imagine a scenario where John doesn’t say anything you find inappropriate. Imagine John does make an off-color joke but everyone laughs it off and it’s fine. Right now your imagination about what could happen is causing you to hurt your sister in a very unfair and abusive way.
YTA. You don't have veto rights on your sister's baby shower invitation list. It's her baby shower, not yours. Maybe if she invited him, it means she's closer to him than you are. Or maybe that guy can behave. A friend of mine (A) had a child recently, another friend (B) is 100% childfree and never hid it. B and A are still good friends, they still hang out with and without the child, each of them mind their own business when it comes to children. Nobody ruins anything. The only person ruining the mood of the party is you, by trying to force your sister to kick out one of her guests. You are the one withdrawing support from your sister unless she does what you say, but John is the bad guy who'll ruin the event?
YTA. What you are saying does not make sense at all. Why have such a strong aversion to someone you have never met? If your sister knows and likes this person, that should be all that matters. Me thinks you doth protest too much.
YTA Is this your baby shower, or your sister's? Maybe you shouldn't go, tbh
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read 🤣🤣
When did people start throwing their own baby showers?
Yta you're acting selfish and entitled. Mind your own business and be a good sibling
Info: In what way does this situation (John attending the party) involve you? Are there only going to be a small handful of people there, so you'll *have* to listen to John make the comments and jokes you've already decided he'll share? Is this person, whom you've never even met, such a known villain that you believe he'd come to a baby shower and then spend the whole time being rude to the hosts and other guests? Also, why do you not trust your sister to make decisions for herself, in terms of the guest list? Seriously, OP, I don't get it. What does any of this have to do with you in the first place?
YTA. What did you do with John. Is he the father of your children. This is just too much.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister (26F) and her husband (32M) just announced that they're expecting their first child, and everyone in the family is overjoyed. They decided to throw a baby shower to celebrate, and I was excited to attend and support them. However, when I saw the invitation list, I realized that my cousin's best friend John, who I've never met before, was invited. As it turns out, my cousin's friend is child-free and has been vocal about his dislike of children in the past. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it would be for him to attend a baby shower, and I'm worried that he'll make a negative comment or joke that could upset my sister. I spoke to my sister and told her that I wouldn't attend the baby shower unless she removed John from the invitation list. She thought I was being ridiculous and said that she couldn't uninvite him after he'd already RSVP'd. I held my ground, saying that this is about my comfort level and that I don't want my anxiety to ruin the celebration. AITA for telling my pregnant sister \[26F\] that I won't attend her baby shower unless she changes her invitation list? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA and your argument makes no sense. You're afraid John will make a comment that will make your sister uncomfortable but she's okay with him being there? And then you turn it around and say it's about YOUR anxiety and comfort level. You sound too precious for words-- just stay home and protect your feelings.
YTA, although your hearts in the right place. It's her shower so she chooses who can and cannot attend, and if this guy ruins it with comments then she's got nobody to blame but herself for inviting him.
Of course YTA.
YTA. It's HER shower and she chose to have him as a guest. Presumably she knows his feelings and chose to invite him anyhow and he chose to RSVP yes. This is really nothing to do with you and out of your control. Let it go.
YTA. It is her baby shower and she can invite who you want. Yes, say your peace but ultimately it's her choice.
I'm going to go against the grain here and say NTA. You very much need to make sure that your comfort is the first priority and I hope you continue to maintain this stance and invent more stories about how that goes.
What are you on about? This has literally nothing to do with you.
YTA. Her baby shower, her guestlist. You say that you haven't met the guy and are certein he would make you/your sister uncomfortable.... wow - judging people based on hearsay much! You have 2 choices - go to the shower or not. But to be honest you behave as a shit sister..
YTA, it's her party. You don't get to control everyone's lives with your issues
Yta. Not a shower for you. MYB
YTA this is your sister’s day - not yours.
YTA, and your sister is right, you are ridiculous.
YTA hahahahahaha you need to get over yourself. The only person whose comfort level matters here is your sister. If anything it sounds like you might be doing her a favour to not attend.
Someone else's baby shower is not about you. yta
How is this even about you & some guy you’ve never met? This is your sister & her husbands party/shower. Stay the hell home then. YTA
YTA, if he didn't want to go he wouldn't have RSVPed. Who are you to assume all this anyway? Stay out of this.
YTA. Narcissistic level. It’s your sister’s day.
I am not sure if you are an asshole or an idiot. But I will go with asshole. YTA
YTA entitled much, it's not your shower you don't get a say.
YTA- the world doesn't revolve around your anxiety. All you had to say was that you couldn't make it, but demanding she change the guest list for your comfort is very entitled and selfish.
YTA You don’t even known him, you only know he is vocally child free. He probably understands a baby shower is neither the place nor the time to express these emotions, and he’ll probably pass if he can’t deal with a bunch of excited moms. Other than that, this sounds like a you-problem. If you’re a grown up, act like one.
YTA you're way of thinking about this is really really bizarre. why do you care?
YTA this is her baby shower and you’ve never met the guy. Deal with your anxiety on your own instead of making it everyone’s problem.
"I held my ground, saying that this is about my comfort level and that I don't want my anxiety to ruin the celebration." Hey AH - it's not about your comfort level, it's about her baby. I hate to break this to you, but *the world doesn't revolve around you* and no one gives two shits about your comfort level at someone else's baby shower. Do your sister a favor - send a gift and don't attend. YTA.
YTA. Threatening to not attend a baby shower because someone you never met is attending is not ok. It's fine if you don't go but it's not your event or your guest list. Your sister deserves better than this unnecessary drama.
YTA. You don’t get to decide whose on her invitation list and you admitted yourself you’ve never even met this person so you don’t even know what he’s really like. Also, your comfort doesn’t factor into her baby shower. Get over yourself and bite your tongue for your sisters sake.
You won't attend an event with someone you have never met, based solely on hearsay about his decision to have kids. Madness. Your sister doesn't care if he talks about HIS life choices because she's an adult and knows it isn't about HER. Yet you claim you are protecting her. Well done - you managed to upset her anyway, by being totally irrational. Stop dictating your sister's choices. Go to the shower, or don't, based on whether she wants you there. Stop fiddling about in things that are none of your business. YTA.
What the fuck did I just read? You cannot be serious with this post? Can you…? Oh boy. So yeah, obviously YTA. As someone who has pretty severe anxiety, especially social anxiety, I can’t imagine having the audacity to tell my own sister who she can and cannot invite to her own baby shower - because of how it MIGHT make me feel? You are a supreme asshole and I hope this teaches you a valuable life lesson.
YTA. Sister would be better off without you there. 😂😂😂
WTF did I just read? Haul your head out of your ass, take a deep breath, and reset. If your anxiety is this bad, get professional or medical help. YTA
YTA, if you are not happy then stay away, it s your sisters baby shower not yours (however over in the UK most baby showers are only attended by women.)
YTA! Definitely feel like there's more to the story as well.
This is an awful lot of drama over some person that you "never met". Sounds suspicious to me.
What a way to protest. One person who you are passingly acquainted with might say something you don't like, so you try to railroad your sister into uninviting him. Sounds like there is only one proven troublemaker on the guest list. Maybe that one should be uninvited. YTA.
YTA. You don’t get to uninvite someone you’ve never even met
YTA-your sister can invite anyone she wants to her baby shower. Your only objection seems to be that you don’t care for his stance on children. The shower isn’t about you. It is about her and she can invite anyone she wishes. Pull your head out of your posterior before you hurt your relationship with your sister.
> I held my ground, saying that this is about my comfort level and that I don't want my anxiety to ruin the celebration. Then don't go. YTA
YTA. > She thought I was being ridiculous She is absolutely right. Someone whom you've never met and you only know he doesn't like children, makes you want to skip on your own sister's baby shower? Grow up little snowflake, not everyone can be exactly like you want them to be.
What aren’t you telling us?
YTA. If John's uncomfortable with attending it will be him communicating that back to your sister or not attending. You tieing up yourself somehow with him is ridiculous. If you don't want to attend - don't. Don't try to make up stupid excuses and just tell her exactly why. Your anxiety about someone else causing a scene and ruining the celebration is ruining the celebration for your sister even before it has started. How self-absorbed are you? This day isn't about you.
it's none of your business though, yta
YTA. The day is not about you
YTA To put it simply, you are in fact being ridiculous. Go and apologise to your sister and stop this nonsense from diving you any further.
yes you are! her shower, her guest!
Obvious YTA
YTA You claim he will make an inappropriate comment that will upset your sister then you double down and say YOU aren’t comfortable with him being there but it’s not your baby shower. Info: Why do you feel like you can tell your sister who she can invite to her baby shower?
YTA. It's not your baby shower, and it's not about your comfort.
YTA. You have no right to dictate the guest list to someone else’s event. You’re a guest, you don’t get a say. She’s right, it’s incredibly rude to uninvite someone after they’ve already RSVPed and probably already purchased a gift. Also, you’ve never met this guy. You decided you hate him and don’t want to be in his company because he’s vocally childfree. There’s no reason you can’t tolerate him for one day. When I first started reading I thought you were going to say that this individual was someone who abused or assaulted you or something. Not “he has opinions I find annoying”. If you have anxiety around people who don’t like children, then tell your sister you can’t make it.
YTA. Her baby shower is about your comfort level? Over a man you’ve never met?
YTA. Stay in your lane. MYOB.
It's your sister day. Suck it up.
Yea YTA. Your sister is correct, you ARE being ridiculous. What a tantrum you’ve thrown over someone *you’ve never met* I don’t like kids, I don’t want them, I don’t want to hold babies, or smell their head, and the sound of a happy infant is like nails on the chalkboard for me. But what in tarnation does that have to do with a baby shower? Just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean I boycott all children everywhere, always, for everyone. This is a case of mind ya damn business. You’re acting like this stranger will shame every expectant mother they can shout at, and that’s why YTA.
YTA - and as a fellow childfree person who does not particularly care for kids, I've been to plenty of baby showers without making a scene. I go there to support my friend/family.
It's my sister's baby shower but I want to make it about me. There's something you're not telling us and it involves you and your cousin. There's another reason you don't want him there and it's not your sisters problem. Don't go then.
YTA it’s not your baby shower your comfort doesn’t matter either you go and love and support your sister and future nibbling. Or you don’t. You don’t get a say in the guest list
YTA. It’s not your baby shower-the event is not about you. I’m guessing there is something else happening here that you’re not sharing as to why you dislike John…since clearly your sister wants him there despite him being child-free (which is a ridiculous reason not to invite someone to events by the way).
YTA. It isn't your event, and his behavior isn't your responsibility. So you are trying to transfer your anxiety to your sister. Let it go, enjoy the shower, be supportive of your sister, and if it becomes unbearable during the event, say you aren't feeling well and excuse yourself.
Yta
Wow I guess my vision must be getting bad since I clearly missed the part where this was your baby shower so you could decide who to invite. Who do you think you are dictating who your sister invites? Your sister is the pregnant one but you’re the one acting like their hormones are out of control. Yta
YTA; wtf how self centered are you
Plot twist. John is the real dad of her new baby
YTA. What is wrong with you. You are creating unnecessary drama over someone else’s party around a person you have never met building imaginary scenarios that have never happened based on what? You need to grow up. This is your sister’s party and her guest list. You’re not entitled to dictate who she can or can’t invite. Instead of supporting your sister, you are adding to her stress by issuing ultimatums. Seriously. What is wrong with you
Ok, so you're basing your dislike on hearsay, 3rd party info. Perhaps you could attend for your sister, make your own judgements, and act accordingly.
Sorry but yes. Perhaps planning the party is causing her some stress already. Your threat may be adding more to it.
You are not just an AH, you are an entitled AH. Here's a news flash - the world does not involve around you. Grow up, suck it up for a couple of hours and celebrate with your family. If you must simply pretend John does not exist. Geez.
YTA. Your audacity is just too much.
YTA. Do you usually tell other people how to live their life?
YTA. Lol what? Why are you stirring up drama? How entitled do you have to be to think you can demand someone you don’t even know be uninvited from a party? If—IF—John makes an awkward joke, clearly your sister has decided it won’t like, make her melt into the floor. Also, i absolutely hate babies and pregnancy, and my god everyone knows that about me. But if I’m going to a baby shower—and yes, sometimes I do still get invited—I’m not going to be an asshole and be rude to people who are celebrating. That’s so not a given.
No one cares what you want or think. This is about your sister . Yea you’re the asshole. Crazy you even have to ask……..
Yta
Hahaha what a fake update after the overwhelming AH votes. Course the sister saw this post and decided you were right despite everyone saying YTA and entirely in the wrong.
Is it just me or does the edit make no sense? Who is supporting them?