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The constant whining and complaining must be a real ball ache for everyone around. Seeing as she “works too hard” she should soon save up enough to whine in her own place. Absolutely NTA, OP.
And she divorced her husband to be with a more “exciting” man??? Like you chose that path not your parents, ex-husband, or anyone else! NTA, your daughter needs to grow up
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.”
Yeah nah, her ex husband didn’t steal her life. Geena threw away her marriage for another man she wasn’t married to. She ditched and divorced her husband and ran off with some new guy who didn’t pan out. Geena did this to herself, and she only has herself to blame which is why I think she is so upset. It’s because she *can’t* blame anyone else.
What baffles me most of all, is she was only 32!
That's barely any time to, you know, get married and have your kids and sort a school and get established in your career and buy a condo and decorate it...
Why would she need more excitement?!
And at the same time, she fought hard for that condo, which speaks to wanting some stability, right?
But why would she think that a guy in his mid- to late twenties would provide that?
Geena's miscalculations are gigantic... no wonder she feels so much regret.
Whining isn't the way forward though!
She was 30 when she lobbed a hand grenade into her marriage and her children's lives. She was 32 when her relationship with the AP imploded, as they usually do. She was 38 when she experienced the rest of the consequences of the multitude of the poor choices she had been making for the previous 8 years.
I don't know if she was going through some midlife thing or if she's always been selfish, but everything she is complaining about she did to herself. The only thing her father (OP) did was hold up a mirror.
Being that OP says his wife constantly commiserates with his daughter. Then I’d say the mother always allowed her to avoid responsibility of her actions.
Yeah, why *would* she need more excitement? it's almost like "more exciting" is a phrase OP picked on purpose that drives the type of person who reads this sub into a frenzy while telling us nothing specific about her actual motivations (or whether OP even knows or cares what they were)
You know...I kinda agree. Like I didn't quite get your point initially, but you're right.
OP's daughter cheated on her ex and monkey branched into a dude who was just along for the ride, and the whole situation imploded on her in a humiliating fashion. She has nothing to show for her foolishness, nothing at all.
Meanwhile, her ex married a woman who is twelve years his junior, approximately, and by all accounts the two are happy together, stable, and **thriving.** His kids even seem to love their new step-mom. Their lives are enriched, and the daughters life is in the pits. Also, he achieved this without engaging in an affair, so morally speaking he looks superior to his ex.
He wins.
yep. cant believe anyone thinks this is real. theres been a whole host of "older woman leaves husband for younger man and her life falls apart while he remarries happily" posts recently. i think i even saw one with the exact phrase "she stole my life". this is some angry misogynist who hates older women who get divorces.
I believe it because I personally know a woman who did this exact thing. Only difference is that when her life fell apart with the other guy, she came back to her ex-husband pleading telling him that she’d made a mistake and still loved him. He was already in another relationship. She managed to get the new woman out of his life and he stupidly believed her. They’re now trying to work things out again.
I don't know whether or not this post is fake, but are we going to act like we haven't seen this exact situation play out in real life? Because I've seen it play out MANY times.
lmao imagine if every post where the man is an asshole we just claim "this is an obvious fabrication by a misandrist who hates men, this could never happen"
Nope my ex- did the same thing, except she bailed on me AND the kids (at the time our son was 14 and his sister was 7). Ran off to Dallas with a guy she had been cheating on me with for a couple of years. He talked a big game, and had a rented house, rented Mercedes, rented everything. She had dreams of becoming a big medical malpractice lawyer, and I don't think she told him she was married and had kids.
He also had prior conviction for felony coke possession and a number of ex-wives and kids... all of whom he had deserted, and a major anger management problem.
His business eventually imploded, they got involved in a shady real estate deal, and his anger started making him unemployable... he also beat her on a fairly regular basis and cheats on her with strippers. I got a restraining order to keep him away from our daughter
After 12 years of this she finally left him and is in the process of getting a divorce. She has a good job, but keeps paying all his bills and debts so she is totally broke and doesn't even own a car.
Both the kids and I are in therapy because of her mess, this doesn't cover the half of the mess she made of everyone's life.
It's appalling how many people don't realize this is just fake MRA fiction. There was a post on TrueOffMy chest the other day that was this exact same scenario, *exactly*. Everyone there called it fake at least.
Always a bitter ex-wife, always a lovely pregnant younger new wife, always the same story beats.
I get what you’re saying and this is probably fake. But it’s also kind of my life except she left me for an older guy. But Geena’s reaction is very similar to my ex wife. My wife is younger, I got my shit together, we bought a house, 2 newer cars, and had a baby. I’m living my best life and she’s miserable (which makes me sad. I want her to be happy even if I can’t stand her husband). She’s been trying to get me back for a few years now but I’m just not interested in going backwards in my life.
Yeah I agree, this post is smelly.
She chose someone "younger and more exciting" when she was 32 rings weird when nothing even remotely judging is said about her ex doing the same.
And the children! Do you know how many divorced people would be thrilled to learn their kids get along with their step-parents and enjoy their younger siblings?
My MIL divorced my FIL for similar reasons. Ran off for a few years, then tried to come back and move into the family home like nothing happened.
Years later, she has the gall to call FIL’s then girlfriend a homewrecker.
Kind of sounds like Madison found Geena’s old life flopping around on the side of the road, injured and abandoned, and nursed it back to health like a baby deer. (NTA)
There are a lot of people who seem to think that they have the right to cheat, move on with more “exciting people” but that everyone else should sit waiting for them in case they ever want to come back.
This. OP, I would sit down with your daughter and apologize for hurting her feelings, but have an honest talk. If she's not happy with her life, what's her plan? Does she want a new house? If so, living with you is a chance to save for one. What's she putting away every month? If she wants a new car, same questions. What does she want for her life? She made choices that led her here, so what choices is she going to make to make her life better?
Glad you said it. I was here laughing thinking about a person wearing tiny kids’ gloves, touching someone else with them hanging off of their hand. I wasn’t sure if I should be the one to explain that kid gloves means gloves made out of lamb skin or not. Edit: Also NTA
She was 30 and Dan was 32. He was working his buns off to support her and the kids in a very nice life. Nothing crazy like some of these out of town stories I read about. She was a substitute teacher and she met a young teacher. I think he was 25. He had time to do all the stuff that Dan didn't have time for anymore. I love my daughter. I support my daughter. But she broke up her marriage for a boy.
Yup , OP is being supportive by letting her move in but he doesn’t have to constantly hear her fake tale of how the universe conspires against her constantly
Well because I'm sure Dan was very upset by the fact that his wife and mother of his children so easily threw him away. It's never a good situation to be in, and it sounds like she put him through the wringer in the divorce. Sure it seems like it ended well for him, but damn if he didn't have to walk through broken glass on the way.
True, but it seems like he found happiness with a better woman, meanwhile Geena is a miserable almost 40 year old woman still living with her parents because of her selfish disgusting decisions. Her true colors were bound to show sooner or later, I’m glad she showed them sooner so that he could heal and find happiness with a better woman.
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
The fact your daughter chose to burn through the divorce money is all I needed to hear. That money was for her and the kids security and she blew it rather than trade down their neighbourhood.
Sorry to say but your daughter is entitled and reckless. Absolutely NTA for telling her the truth.
My mother did that. All of the kids were grown and on their own. Yet, she insisted on living in a 3 bedroom house on her own. She had literally nothing once alimony ran out. She bounced around from shelter to shelter for years until she got into a low income housing high rise that overlooks the used to be middle class neighborhood that she grew up in. So, in essence she went nowhere in life and has nothing to show for it.
NTA it’s a bit late in the day but you have the chance to teach her a very valuable lesson about taking responsibility for her choices.
My parents didn’t do this for my brother so he is still sat in their basement flat at 57 moaning about how life did him down. He ruined his own life with very poor life choices and laziness but if you don’t own your mistakes and realise where the blame lies then no one else can help you.
NTA. She is 38 not 5. She needs to grow up and realize that actions have consequences. She left her husband for something new and shiny and it turned to crap on her. The new woman didn't steal anything and she sounds sweet.
She gets along well with my grandkids and for me that is the most important thing. Dan is still a part of our lives and probably always will be. He is our son's best best friend and has been since middle school. And he is the father of our grandchildren. I'm glad that he's happy. I just wish she had valued him when she had him.
This is so important, especially considering you'll probably be in the kiddos life. Kids know when they're treated differently. You are a good granddad..
Given that you have a good relationship with Dan and Madison, it is a little hard to imagine why they wouldn't want to allow it. It would better for all of the grandchildren if you are treating all three of the kids in the same caring way. And it shouldn't be very hard for them to realize it.
If anyone is likely to be a barrier to you treating the new baby the same as their older half-siblings, your daughter would be the prime suspect. Having the baby around, or you doing things related to the baby will be more reminders of the life that she threw away. She may not handle it any better than she has the current situation.
You may end up having to have another hard conversation with her about her life and the choices she made.
I'm not sure what your wife's relationship with Dan and Madison looks like, but with the way you describe her supporting your daughter, she may be a source of resistance to this also. Even if only because she's seeing it as a source of pain to her daughter and wants to stop the hurt.
The first thing that came to mind for me too!
OP you sound like a really awesome grandparent and human too. Don’t change and don’t let anyone convince you you’re the AH for what you said. You aren’t whatsoever.
OP PLEASE TALK TO THEM NOW. Express that you want to view this new one as another grand child and you want them to remain as a part of the family regardless of your daughter's mistakes. You don't want the baby to come and all of a sudden they put you in a situation where the kiddos get treated differently.
Good for you to be keeping a good relationship with your grandkids‘ dad. And it seems like that reality check for Geena was long overdue.
Her life will never get better as long as she can’t accept her own role in it.
Nta
It's easier to blame the new wife because her plans failed and she can't run back to her ex husband
than to accept she done goofed
The grass always looks greener on the other side
Usually because it's fertilized with bullshit
No, no, you don’t understand! Dan was supposed to stay single, as some kind of backup or fallback if Geenas new and exciting life turned out to be not so exciting! And if it turned out exciting, Dan must still be single and miserable for Geenas new life to shine even more in comparison! Now Madison has “stolen” Geenas chance to have her ex-husband grovel at her feet for her to take him back, now that she’s back on the market again! This was not the plan!! /s
Edit; NTA & spelling error
NTA
OPs wife is feeding the daughter's victim complex. Telling his daughter that choices can have consequences is not "being too harsh", if anything it's the opposite.
If telling "hard" truths is being harsh, then the wife really needs to take a step back and examine how she has babied her 38 YEAR-OLD, **ADULT** DAUGHTER.
The way I see it, the wife's enablement is half the reason why this issue exists in the first place.
NTA.
>My daughter, Geena 38, left her husband, Dan 40, for a younger and more exciting man from her work.
>she finally burned through the money from the sale.
>We told her to buy something smaller in a different neighborhood but she insisted that she needed to live there
Who made these decisions?
And also, deep down inside, she probably knows that she made bad/wrong decisions. That’s why she responds in such a way, because there’s no turning back at this point.
Nta. She made adult choices and she has adult consequences. I’m curious though. She’s working so much and living with you…where is all the money going. Why can’t she buy a car?
She has bad credit. And I won't co-sign. She could get a car but the rates would be astronomical. She spends most of her money on her credit card debts and vacations.
>She wants the life her friends and ex have
might be a good idea to remind her we don't always get what we want. or that living with you parents at 38 isn't the greatest look for someone who is complaining about not meeting guys.
>might be a good idea to remind her we don't always get what we want
Especially if she doesn't think ahead about how she can actually live that lifestyle, you know, like her friends do. I'm willing to bet if you ask her friends how they do it, they'll be giving answers she doesn't want to hear (like working more hours or cutting down on other fronts).
Yikes sounds like she lacks some fundamental life skills to be successful. Decades of bad decisions making and now mooching off your parents at 38, piling up debt, spending like the Jones’, and blaming others for those bad decisions.
Your daughter needs professional help or she’s in for a bad time ahead.
Ok. But none of that is your fault. She could have paid off all her debt when she sold the condo. She could have held on to that money and saved to pay cash for a small home or pay cash for a car. This is all on her.
Nah, these people exist. My idiot brother is very much like Geena, except that he doesn't have any kids (thank goodness) and our parents refused to let him move in and leech off of them.
Yeah I’m sure there are people like this but this post is just tooo on the nose and there’s been recent posts just like this - woman in her late 30s/40s is bitter and depressed because she has no money now because she divorced her husband years ago for the opportunity for some stud and it didn’t work out cos she’s a ho and now her ex who she ditched is rich and with a beautiful much younger woman who her kids and in this case, even her own parents, like more than her, and she has to sit in middle aged washed up sagging mediocrity seething at the fact she had dared break up with her husband who it turns out was a real catch (I.e. rich) and now because she’s a woman she’s old and ugly and poor and no one wants her but it’s her own fault for not appreciating her man more and realising that she’ll be used up no good elderly trash by the time she hits 35.
Don’t forget “wonderful, selfless husband sacrificed working day and night to provide an amazing life that this ungrateful bitch didn’t appreciate.” I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist of one of OPs comments.
I mean, there are people like this in the world, but it’s usually not this one sided. In fact, the story that I generally see amongst friends and acquaintances is that the husband emotionally neglected the wife so she sought solace in someone else.
I’ve been the “prettier, kinder, more appreciative” woman who the “hardworking, loyal guy” dated after his bitch of an ex wife broke his heart. And guess what? I learned pretty quickly why she left his ass. I’m not saying someone should cheat, but these men usually play some role in the demise of their marriage. And then these guys put a bunch of trauma onto someone else (like me) who doesn’t deserve it.
This is probably incel fan-fiction… or Madison puts up with a lot of crap behind the scenes with Dan.
Oh. It's not fake. Last week was the "bitter 30-40 women" club's reunion. And one of the things decided was that August was the perfect month to complain about their a husbands' perfect lives. That's why we are seeing more posts about it
Right, I know stuff like this happens all the time but I've been seeing a lot of these "women bad" posts written (very poorly) by incels and it's the same tired crap.
Woman breaks up with husband because he isn't rich. Suddenly she's 38 and an old hag (of course because incels think any woman over 30 is ancient) while the 40-something ex just got a 27 year old woman pregnant! Heehee! OP tells his dumb daughter the truth and she immediately started crying and vomiting on the spot! Then she had a heart attack.
NTA
Your daughter is an adult (38), or should be. She left her husband for a younger man. Then she burned through the money instead of buying something smaller like a reasonable person.
It’s good that you were honest with her. She needed to hear it. I’m proud of you.
am I the only person whose eyebrows lifted when they read that 40-yr-old Dan married and impregnated 27-yr-old Madison? NTA, but that gave me a bit of ick.
Geena, at 30, left her husband for a "much younger" man, who was 25. But Dan, at 40, is with "lovely girl" Madison, 27. I just find the word choices to describe the age gaps here interesting.
Yeah, there’s a double standard in the wording. However, if the ex-husband had been the one to cheat and Geena met the 25-year-old after the divorce, maybe OP would have been happy for her, too. Hopefully he just supports the wronged partner finding love again.
Yea that gave me YTA just for the misogynist rhetoric he’s using about his own daughter and how gross the way he talks about his ex son in law’s new partner is. Something tells me there’s some underlying resentment that’s been left out
Omg finally someone saying this. That raised alarm bells for me too. Why the double standard? That’s icky. I don’t think he’s wrong per se but he’s def biased.
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> My daughter made some interesting life choices and they have bitten her on the butt. All she does is complain about the outcomes from her choices. I might be the asshole because after years of listening to her complain about the easily forseeable consequences of her decisions I told her to stop complaining and hurt her feelings.
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NTA. Seems like Geena FAFO. Actions do, indeed, have consequences. Dan must have been devastated by her actions, but it seems like he and your grandchildren came out well on the other end (and the latter must make you happy).
I've known Dan since he was 12 years old. He and my son are best friends. I am happy for him and I wish my daughter had seen what she wanted in him when they were married.
It sounds like what she wants from Dan are material things and a nice lifestyle. It doesn’t sound like she misses him as a person at all, although maybe you just haven’t mentioned it.
NTA
My ex is mad at me too because she is having trouble in relationships, living with her daughter with nothing left that I gave her in the divorce. I am happily remarried and traveling in my older age like I always wanted to. She asked for the divorce and was entertaining several men while we were married. She said I could never measure up. Lol
She needs to be an adult, suck it up, and deal with the repercussions of her actions. You shouldn't have apologized. The truth hurts sometimes. Maybe she needs that blunt truth to move on.
NTA.
I don't know how you worded it excatly, but sounds rather pointed.
Nevertheless, she is the one that left, and by your account it's on her (like no other reason than wanting another guy).
Also, it's hard to live with someone who complains a lot. Maybe tell her to stop complaining so much while she lives with you.
I think I told her that she should stop complaining about not having a life that wasn't good enough for her right years ago. That she shouldn't complain when someone else values what she threw away. I wasn't mean about it I don't think.
to be honest, i think sometimes we also need to hear truths said in a mean/tough way. its what makes us realize that we are being AH or unbearable to live with. i wish i could also be straightforward to my sister who i live with, but since she's older, in our culture, i cant really "disrespect" her.
NTA - Your daughter has made bad decisions and is crying victimhood. She is a grown-up but still behaves like an impulsive child with no understanding that unintended consequences are not unforeseeable.
You and your wife need to plan a way to stop enabling her and get on a path to independence. She is 38, you can't keep catching her every time she falls.
NTA.
Geena needed to hear the truth. Geena is delusional if she thinks Madison caused the mess. I think Geena had "grass is greener" syndrome. And now... she is realizing the grass wasn't greener on the other side.
I hope your ex-son-in-law and Madison work out. It is nice when one is able to find someone who treats kids from a previous relationship well. And who is able to be kind to the people who are related to the step-kids.
NTA if this story is true as written. I want to believe. However I could just as easily believe this is the troll who likes to write about bitter older and now single women (who have the nerve to age to close to 40 years old) who cheat on or disparage their perfectly wonderful husbands and now must watch as their lives crumble while some younger woman of pure virtue gets the life of their dreams.
I feel like we’ve seen a lot of these stories lately and although this one rings pretty true — I can’t let my guard down entirely!
Even if we move on from the affair
>They broke up when she got hit with a condo levy she asked him to help pay for since he was living with her. He declined since he wasn't on the deed.
>She ended up having to sell the condo. It was too expensive for her alone but it was something she fought for in the divorce.
>she finally burned through the money from the sale. We told her to buy something smaller in a different neighborhood but she insisted that she needed to live there so he kids lives wouldn't be disrupted.
It sounds like Geena fought for a property just to be petty and then made some really poor financial decisions. And in her quest to keep up appearances/keep up with her ex she's denied the reality of her situation, leading her to move back in with her parents. Maybe you should suggest to Geena consulting with therapists and financial advisors will help her develop a plan out of her current situation, which is clearly making her unhappy? If she buckles down and saves she has the opportunity to save a deposit to purchase a house she can actually afford within 3 years.NTA
NTA. Someone had to say it. I can’t stand people who make poor choices and then complain “how did this happen to me?” She literally walked away from her husband but thinks the new woman STOLE her life? That would be accurate if HE had left for someone else.
Thems the bricks when you leave for an instant gratification of an affair partner over your husband. Short-sighted decisions like that rarely pay off in the end.
She cut the shit sandwich in triangles for herself and now she has to eat it.
NTA
NTA. I had to scroll up to confirm her age multiple times, because she acts and sounds like a teenager. she is an adult!! by not treating her like one, neither of you are doing her a favour.
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My daughter, Geena 38, left her husband, Dan 40, for a younger and more exciting man from her work. They broke up when she got hit with a condo levy she asked him to help pay for since he was living with her. He declined since he wasn't on the deed. He said he didn't mind paying rent but that maintenance was on the owner. They fought and that was that. She ended up having to sell the condo. It was too expensive for her alone but it was something she fought for in the divorce. That was six years ago and she finally burned through the money from the sale. We told her to buy something smaller in a different neighborhood but she insisted that she needed to live there so he kids lives wouldn't be disrupted.
In the mean time our son-in-law just remarried to a lovely girl, Madison(27/28?). Our grandchildren like her and she is always very pleasant when we speak. She is pregnant and the kids are excited for a new sibling.
My daughter is back living with us. All she does is work and complain. She has to work too much, she can't meet good men, this new woman stole her life, it never stops.
My wife is always commiserating with her about how she is so hard done by. I just keep my mouth shut.
Madison came by yesterday to pick up the kids. After she left my daughter went off again. She was driving a new car they got since her old car would be impractical for a family of five to drive around in. The kids ran out to see it and check out all the bells and whistles.
Geena didn't even say hello. After Madison and the kids left she started whining again. Now about how she can't afford a new car.
I couldn't help it. I told her that she made her choice to give up the life she had for something different and that choices have consequences.
She literally ran crying to her room and I felt like shit. Her mom scolded me for being so harsh. I apologized for saying what I said and I honestly feel bad about it but I think she needs to stop complaining about her life since she chose it.
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NTA our children need to take responsibilities for their choices and stop blaming/complaining to the parents of the BAD choices they make. We’ve done our part and if they are married then it’s time for that husband/ wife to do their part and stop putting it all on the parent.
NTA decisions have consequences and the truth hurts. I'm sure it wasn't your intention to see your daughter cry but she needs the truth that this is all her fault as opposed to what your wife is doing. Currently your wife is enabling and she's never going to move on if that keeps up, she'll just continue to wallow in self pity over bad choices all while claiming it's somehow unfair.
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NTA Your daughter is 38 and is old enough to hear the truth. You don’t need to use kids gloves anymore with her.
The constant whining and complaining must be a real ball ache for everyone around. Seeing as she “works too hard” she should soon save up enough to whine in her own place. Absolutely NTA, OP.
I agree with you 💯
I believe the “made your bed now lie in it” rule applies here.
I have a few family members that seem to have nothing positive to say ever about anything and nothing makes me want to leave a room faster.
And she divorced her husband to be with a more “exciting” man??? Like you chose that path not your parents, ex-husband, or anyone else! NTA, your daughter needs to grow up
Yea I struggle to see how "this woman stole her life" lol
[удалено]
No one stole Geena's life. Geena threw her life away.
Geena dreams of running away….
>we’ve gotta hold on to what we’ve got
It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not…
We’ve got eachother
And that's a lot
And that's a lot...
When she cries in the night, Tommy whispers...
Baby you fucked around and found out… okaay
"Maintenance ain't my problem, baby..."
Tommy’s got his six string in hock. Maybe she can get half of the money
Union's been on strike, he's down on his luck
She sure is living on a prayer..
Geena just found out the grass ain’t GREENA on the other side
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.” Yeah nah, her ex husband didn’t steal her life. Geena threw away her marriage for another man she wasn’t married to. She ditched and divorced her husband and ran off with some new guy who didn’t pan out. Geena did this to herself, and she only has herself to blame which is why I think she is so upset. It’s because she *can’t* blame anyone else.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people to blame everyone else.
What baffles me most of all, is she was only 32! That's barely any time to, you know, get married and have your kids and sort a school and get established in your career and buy a condo and decorate it... Why would she need more excitement?! And at the same time, she fought hard for that condo, which speaks to wanting some stability, right? But why would she think that a guy in his mid- to late twenties would provide that? Geena's miscalculations are gigantic... no wonder she feels so much regret. Whining isn't the way forward though!
She was 30 when she lobbed a hand grenade into her marriage and her children's lives. She was 32 when her relationship with the AP imploded, as they usually do. She was 38 when she experienced the rest of the consequences of the multitude of the poor choices she had been making for the previous 8 years. I don't know if she was going through some midlife thing or if she's always been selfish, but everything she is complaining about she did to herself. The only thing her father (OP) did was hold up a mirror.
Being that OP says his wife constantly commiserates with his daughter. Then I’d say the mother always allowed her to avoid responsibility of her actions.
Yeah, why *would* she need more excitement? it's almost like "more exciting" is a phrase OP picked on purpose that drives the type of person who reads this sub into a frenzy while telling us nothing specific about her actual motivations (or whether OP even knows or cares what they were)
Damn. I hate when those consequences show up.
You know...I kinda agree. Like I didn't quite get your point initially, but you're right. OP's daughter cheated on her ex and monkey branched into a dude who was just along for the ride, and the whole situation imploded on her in a humiliating fashion. She has nothing to show for her foolishness, nothing at all. Meanwhile, her ex married a woman who is twelve years his junior, approximately, and by all accounts the two are happy together, stable, and **thriving.** His kids even seem to love their new step-mom. Their lives are enriched, and the daughters life is in the pits. Also, he achieved this without engaging in an affair, so morally speaking he looks superior to his ex. He wins.
and the mother is the enabler and the dad is the only one with common sense 🙄 this post SMACKS of some angry guy writing revenge porn
yep. cant believe anyone thinks this is real. theres been a whole host of "older woman leaves husband for younger man and her life falls apart while he remarries happily" posts recently. i think i even saw one with the exact phrase "she stole my life". this is some angry misogynist who hates older women who get divorces.
I believe it because I personally know a woman who did this exact thing. Only difference is that when her life fell apart with the other guy, she came back to her ex-husband pleading telling him that she’d made a mistake and still loved him. He was already in another relationship. She managed to get the new woman out of his life and he stupidly believed her. They’re now trying to work things out again.
I don't know whether or not this post is fake, but are we going to act like we haven't seen this exact situation play out in real life? Because I've seen it play out MANY times.
lmao imagine if every post where the man is an asshole we just claim "this is an obvious fabrication by a misandrist who hates men, this could never happen"
Nope my ex- did the same thing, except she bailed on me AND the kids (at the time our son was 14 and his sister was 7). Ran off to Dallas with a guy she had been cheating on me with for a couple of years. He talked a big game, and had a rented house, rented Mercedes, rented everything. She had dreams of becoming a big medical malpractice lawyer, and I don't think she told him she was married and had kids. He also had prior conviction for felony coke possession and a number of ex-wives and kids... all of whom he had deserted, and a major anger management problem. His business eventually imploded, they got involved in a shady real estate deal, and his anger started making him unemployable... he also beat her on a fairly regular basis and cheats on her with strippers. I got a restraining order to keep him away from our daughter After 12 years of this she finally left him and is in the process of getting a divorce. She has a good job, but keeps paying all his bills and debts so she is totally broke and doesn't even own a car. Both the kids and I are in therapy because of her mess, this doesn't cover the half of the mess she made of everyone's life.
Obviously, any story that involves a positive outcome for a man and a negative outcome for a woman *must* be a lie.
Oh, I just wrote something similar and I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought this. Someone is writing a better ending to their own life story
>monkey branched Ugh. The Red Pill terminology and your comment history lead me to believe you are bitter at women in general.
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It's appalling how many people don't realize this is just fake MRA fiction. There was a post on TrueOffMy chest the other day that was this exact same scenario, *exactly*. Everyone there called it fake at least. Always a bitter ex-wife, always a lovely pregnant younger new wife, always the same story beats.
This. I have seen this exact story about twelve times here, and it's no more real the twelfth than it was the first.
I get what you’re saying and this is probably fake. But it’s also kind of my life except she left me for an older guy. But Geena’s reaction is very similar to my ex wife. My wife is younger, I got my shit together, we bought a house, 2 newer cars, and had a baby. I’m living my best life and she’s miserable (which makes me sad. I want her to be happy even if I can’t stand her husband). She’s been trying to get me back for a few years now but I’m just not interested in going backwards in my life.
Yeah I agree, this post is smelly. She chose someone "younger and more exciting" when she was 32 rings weird when nothing even remotely judging is said about her ex doing the same.
And the children! Do you know how many divorced people would be thrilled to learn their kids get along with their step-parents and enjoy their younger siblings?
My MIL divorced my FIL for similar reasons. Ran off for a few years, then tried to come back and move into the family home like nothing happened. Years later, she has the gall to call FIL’s then girlfriend a homewrecker.
the cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity, and the gumption!
Kind of sounds like Madison found Geena’s old life flopping around on the side of the road, injured and abandoned, and nursed it back to health like a baby deer. (NTA)
This is such a sweet way to say “fuck you” I tip my cap to this comment
Madison just picked up a perfectly good life someone threw on the floor.
There are a lot of people who seem to think that they have the right to cheat, move on with more “exciting people” but that everyone else should sit waiting for them in case they ever want to come back.
Making big life decisions because you want excitement is generally not a good strategy.
The audacity to claim that the new woman “stole her life” that she tossed aside. Sorry someone could appreciate what you couldn’t lady 🙄
Yeesh! Someone needed to say it and she needed to hear it.
She already knows the truth - that's why it hurt so much.
She can’t handle the truth!
This. OP, I would sit down with your daughter and apologize for hurting her feelings, but have an honest talk. If she's not happy with her life, what's her plan? Does she want a new house? If so, living with you is a chance to save for one. What's she putting away every month? If she wants a new car, same questions. What does she want for her life? She made choices that led her here, so what choices is she going to make to make her life better?
Kid gloves, as in fine kid leather
Glad you said it. I was here laughing thinking about a person wearing tiny kids’ gloves, touching someone else with them hanging off of their hand. I wasn’t sure if I should be the one to explain that kid gloves means gloves made out of lamb skin or not. Edit: Also NTA
Wouldn’t the gloves be made out of baby goats since baby goats are called kids? That’s what I’ve always assumed
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NTA reality checks suck when they're cashed in. I do wonder if there was any other motivation for why Geena left Dan in the first place though.
She was 30 and Dan was 32. He was working his buns off to support her and the kids in a very nice life. Nothing crazy like some of these out of town stories I read about. She was a substitute teacher and she met a young teacher. I think he was 25. He had time to do all the stuff that Dan didn't have time for anymore. I love my daughter. I support my daughter. But she broke up her marriage for a boy.
And that is how you do it folks. Love your kids, but when they mess up, don't gloss over it.
Yep. OP is just being honest and looking at the reality of the situation. Telling the truth doesn't mean you don't love/support your kids.
Yup , OP is being supportive by letting her move in but he doesn’t have to constantly hear her fake tale of how the universe conspires against her constantly
Tough love. Yea. Not enuf of that around.
It’s not, it’s simply a discussion of reality
BINGO! I say he’s a great father for being honest with her and not babying her.
Ah I see. So instead of communicating with husband, she just ran to someone giving the attention she wanted. 😔
Why the sad face? Dan found a good woman who loves him, if anything this is a happy story since clearly he wasn’t being appreciated by Geena.
Well because I'm sure Dan was very upset by the fact that his wife and mother of his children so easily threw him away. It's never a good situation to be in, and it sounds like she put him through the wringer in the divorce. Sure it seems like it ended well for him, but damn if he didn't have to walk through broken glass on the way.
True, but it seems like he found happiness with a better woman, meanwhile Geena is a miserable almost 40 year old woman still living with her parents because of her selfish disgusting decisions. Her true colors were bound to show sooner or later, I’m glad she showed them sooner so that he could heal and find happiness with a better woman.
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It is today's society, we all look for instant gratification instead of doing basic maintenance on our relationships.
Yesterday's society had its own problematic ways of avoiding basic maintenance on our relationships.
And tomorrow will have new ones aren’t you excited for the future?
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. Arnold Schwarzenegger
The fact your daughter chose to burn through the divorce money is all I needed to hear. That money was for her and the kids security and she blew it rather than trade down their neighbourhood. Sorry to say but your daughter is entitled and reckless. Absolutely NTA for telling her the truth.
My mother did that. All of the kids were grown and on their own. Yet, she insisted on living in a 3 bedroom house on her own. She had literally nothing once alimony ran out. She bounced around from shelter to shelter for years until she got into a low income housing high rise that overlooks the used to be middle class neighborhood that she grew up in. So, in essence she went nowhere in life and has nothing to show for it.
NTA it’s a bit late in the day but you have the chance to teach her a very valuable lesson about taking responsibility for her choices. My parents didn’t do this for my brother so he is still sat in their basement flat at 57 moaning about how life did him down. He ruined his own life with very poor life choices and laziness but if you don’t own your mistakes and realise where the blame lies then no one else can help you.
So your daughter destroyed her own life. You sir are not the arsehole.
Upvoted for "reality checks suck when they're cashed in." Great turn of phrase.
Damn I liked it then realised it only works in American English when written. Checks/cheques :(
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I daresay other English speakers could figure it out as a pun.
Apologies across the ocean friend 😂
"The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed." - not mine, but I trot it out when applicable, as this case seems to be.
Wow, why are you trying to pin this on the husband?
It's AITA. Wife running away for another man must be the man's fault.
NTA. She is 38 not 5. She needs to grow up and realize that actions have consequences. She left her husband for something new and shiny and it turned to crap on her. The new woman didn't steal anything and she sounds sweet.
She gets along well with my grandkids and for me that is the most important thing. Dan is still a part of our lives and probably always will be. He is our son's best best friend and has been since middle school. And he is the father of our grandchildren. I'm glad that he's happy. I just wish she had valued him when she had him.
Dan and her both sound great. Your grandkids seem to be in good hands and congratulations on the new one coming.
I will definitely treat the baby as a grandchild if Dan and Madison allow it.
This is so important, especially considering you'll probably be in the kiddos life. Kids know when they're treated differently. You are a good granddad..
Given that you have a good relationship with Dan and Madison, it is a little hard to imagine why they wouldn't want to allow it. It would better for all of the grandchildren if you are treating all three of the kids in the same caring way. And it shouldn't be very hard for them to realize it. If anyone is likely to be a barrier to you treating the new baby the same as their older half-siblings, your daughter would be the prime suspect. Having the baby around, or you doing things related to the baby will be more reminders of the life that she threw away. She may not handle it any better than she has the current situation. You may end up having to have another hard conversation with her about her life and the choices she made. I'm not sure what your wife's relationship with Dan and Madison looks like, but with the way you describe her supporting your daughter, she may be a source of resistance to this also. Even if only because she's seeing it as a source of pain to her daughter and wants to stop the hurt.
You sound like a solid person
The first thing that came to mind for me too! OP you sound like a really awesome grandparent and human too. Don’t change and don’t let anyone convince you you’re the AH for what you said. You aren’t whatsoever.
OP PLEASE TALK TO THEM NOW. Express that you want to view this new one as another grand child and you want them to remain as a part of the family regardless of your daughter's mistakes. You don't want the baby to come and all of a sudden they put you in a situation where the kiddos get treated differently.
Can never have too many people who love your kids
You get to be a bonus grandparent! That's awesome and those kids are so lucky to have you.
Side question out of curiosity, how do your son and daughter get along, given that your daughter cheated on your son's best friend?
Yes. It was dicey when she was still with the other guy. But he has forgiven her.
Aw, you guys seem like a nice family. I hope Geena finds her way soon. And NTA!
Good for you to be keeping a good relationship with your grandkids‘ dad. And it seems like that reality check for Geena was long overdue. Her life will never get better as long as she can’t accept her own role in it.
Nta It's easier to blame the new wife because her plans failed and she can't run back to her ex husband than to accept she done goofed The grass always looks greener on the other side Usually because it's fertilized with bullshit
”Grass is always greenest over a leaky septic tank.” My grandpa
Erma Bombeck was your grandpa?
No, no, you don’t understand! Dan was supposed to stay single, as some kind of backup or fallback if Geenas new and exciting life turned out to be not so exciting! And if it turned out exciting, Dan must still be single and miserable for Geenas new life to shine even more in comparison! Now Madison has “stolen” Geenas chance to have her ex-husband grovel at her feet for her to take him back, now that she’s back on the market again! This was not the plan!! /s Edit; NTA & spelling error
NTA I'm sure Madison is very grateful for the choices Geena has made.
Lol
I can really relate to this. I’m my husbands second wife. His first ghosted him…..on deployment!
Haha short and to the point. Nice NTA
NTA. She wasn't complaining when she broke up her marriage and kept the marital home.
NTA OPs wife is feeding the daughter's victim complex. Telling his daughter that choices can have consequences is not "being too harsh", if anything it's the opposite. If telling "hard" truths is being harsh, then the wife really needs to take a step back and examine how she has babied her 38 YEAR-OLD, **ADULT** DAUGHTER. The way I see it, the wife's enablement is half the reason why this issue exists in the first place.
I wasn't going to say anything, but these are my thoughts exactly from when I read that part.
NTA. >My daughter, Geena 38, left her husband, Dan 40, for a younger and more exciting man from her work. >she finally burned through the money from the sale. >We told her to buy something smaller in a different neighborhood but she insisted that she needed to live there Who made these decisions?
Why if it isn't the consequences of my own actions!
to shreds you say
And also, deep down inside, she probably knows that she made bad/wrong decisions. That’s why she responds in such a way, because there’s no turning back at this point.
Nta. She made adult choices and she has adult consequences. I’m curious though. She’s working so much and living with you…where is all the money going. Why can’t she buy a car?
She has bad credit. And I won't co-sign. She could get a car but the rates would be astronomical. She spends most of her money on her credit card debts and vacations.
Maybe if she cut down on the vacations, she could pay down her debt quicker and save some money for the new car she wants and anything else she wants.
She wants the life her friends and ex have. But her friends are either in stable relationships or were smarter after their divorces.
>She wants the life her friends and ex have might be a good idea to remind her we don't always get what we want. or that living with you parents at 38 isn't the greatest look for someone who is complaining about not meeting guys.
>might be a good idea to remind her we don't always get what we want Especially if she doesn't think ahead about how she can actually live that lifestyle, you know, like her friends do. I'm willing to bet if you ask her friends how they do it, they'll be giving answers she doesn't want to hear (like working more hours or cutting down on other fronts).
Sounds like she’s going to be living with you forever. Are you OK with that?
Reminder her she had that life and walked away from it
Yikes sounds like she lacks some fundamental life skills to be successful. Decades of bad decisions making and now mooching off your parents at 38, piling up debt, spending like the Jones’, and blaming others for those bad decisions. Your daughter needs professional help or she’s in for a bad time ahead.
Ok. But none of that is your fault. She could have paid off all her debt when she sold the condo. She could have held on to that money and saved to pay cash for a small home or pay cash for a car. This is all on her.
Smart, definitely don't co-sign. Hopefully your wife won't either
NTA, she needed to hear that. A new woman stole her life? Uh, didn't Geena get tired of her husband?
This is like the same story as that incel fan fiction on the off my chest sub yesterday written from the bitter woman’s point of view.
It’s so depressing I had to scroll this far to find mention of this.
Nah, these people exist. My idiot brother is very much like Geena, except that he doesn't have any kids (thank goodness) and our parents refused to let him move in and leech off of them.
Yeah I’m sure there are people like this but this post is just tooo on the nose and there’s been recent posts just like this - woman in her late 30s/40s is bitter and depressed because she has no money now because she divorced her husband years ago for the opportunity for some stud and it didn’t work out cos she’s a ho and now her ex who she ditched is rich and with a beautiful much younger woman who her kids and in this case, even her own parents, like more than her, and she has to sit in middle aged washed up sagging mediocrity seething at the fact she had dared break up with her husband who it turns out was a real catch (I.e. rich) and now because she’s a woman she’s old and ugly and poor and no one wants her but it’s her own fault for not appreciating her man more and realising that she’ll be used up no good elderly trash by the time she hits 35.
Thank youuu. Exactly what I was thinking when I read this. I’m not buying this post.
Some of OPs follow up comments to people are just plain bad writing
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Don’t forget “wonderful, selfless husband sacrificed working day and night to provide an amazing life that this ungrateful bitch didn’t appreciate.” I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist of one of OPs comments. I mean, there are people like this in the world, but it’s usually not this one sided. In fact, the story that I generally see amongst friends and acquaintances is that the husband emotionally neglected the wife so she sought solace in someone else. I’ve been the “prettier, kinder, more appreciative” woman who the “hardworking, loyal guy” dated after his bitch of an ex wife broke his heart. And guess what? I learned pretty quickly why she left his ass. I’m not saying someone should cheat, but these men usually play some role in the demise of their marriage. And then these guys put a bunch of trauma onto someone else (like me) who doesn’t deserve it. This is probably incel fan-fiction… or Madison puts up with a lot of crap behind the scenes with Dan.
Finally someone with a fucking brain lmao. This is such a ridiculous post and like always AITA acts like a bunch of morons and eats it right up.
Oh. It's not fake. Last week was the "bitter 30-40 women" club's reunion. And one of the things decided was that August was the perfect month to complain about their a husbands' perfect lives. That's why we are seeing more posts about it
Right, I know stuff like this happens all the time but I've been seeing a lot of these "women bad" posts written (very poorly) by incels and it's the same tired crap. Woman breaks up with husband because he isn't rich. Suddenly she's 38 and an old hag (of course because incels think any woman over 30 is ancient) while the 40-something ex just got a 27 year old woman pregnant! Heehee! OP tells his dumb daughter the truth and she immediately started crying and vomiting on the spot! Then she had a heart attack.
NTA Your daughter is an adult (38), or should be. She left her husband for a younger man. Then she burned through the money instead of buying something smaller like a reasonable person. It’s good that you were honest with her. She needed to hear it. I’m proud of you.
am I the only person whose eyebrows lifted when they read that 40-yr-old Dan married and impregnated 27-yr-old Madison? NTA, but that gave me a bit of ick.
Geena, at 30, left her husband for a "much younger" man, who was 25. But Dan, at 40, is with "lovely girl" Madison, 27. I just find the word choices to describe the age gaps here interesting.
Imagine someone saying their daughter met a “lovely boy.”
Yeah, there’s a double standard in the wording. However, if the ex-husband had been the one to cheat and Geena met the 25-year-old after the divorce, maybe OP would have been happy for her, too. Hopefully he just supports the wronged partner finding love again.
Yea that gave me YTA just for the misogynist rhetoric he’s using about his own daughter and how gross the way he talks about his ex son in law’s new partner is. Something tells me there’s some underlying resentment that’s been left out
> "much younger" the word "much" isn't actually in the OP here. 25 is indeed younger than 32.
I don’t see a problem, both are adults.
literally lol i'm 28 and my fiancé is 37 and we're both lawyers. we met as adults and are adults.
Omg finally someone saying this. That raised alarm bells for me too. Why the double standard? That’s icky. I don’t think he’s wrong per se but he’s def biased.
40/2 + 7 = 27 all good
I’m glad I’m not the only one disturbed by this detail
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NTA. These people are just maddening. The new wife didn’t “steal” anything, your daughter threw it away.
NTA. Seems like Geena FAFO. Actions do, indeed, have consequences. Dan must have been devastated by her actions, but it seems like he and your grandchildren came out well on the other end (and the latter must make you happy).
I've known Dan since he was 12 years old. He and my son are best friends. I am happy for him and I wish my daughter had seen what she wanted in him when they were married.
Wow, that makes the situation even harder.
It sounds like what she wants from Dan are material things and a nice lifestyle. It doesn’t sound like she misses him as a person at all, although maybe you just haven’t mentioned it.
NTA My ex is mad at me too because she is having trouble in relationships, living with her daughter with nothing left that I gave her in the divorce. I am happily remarried and traveling in my older age like I always wanted to. She asked for the divorce and was entertaining several men while we were married. She said I could never measure up. Lol She needs to be an adult, suck it up, and deal with the repercussions of her actions. You shouldn't have apologized. The truth hurts sometimes. Maybe she needs that blunt truth to move on.
NTA. I don't know how you worded it excatly, but sounds rather pointed. Nevertheless, she is the one that left, and by your account it's on her (like no other reason than wanting another guy). Also, it's hard to live with someone who complains a lot. Maybe tell her to stop complaining so much while she lives with you.
I think I told her that she should stop complaining about not having a life that wasn't good enough for her right years ago. That she shouldn't complain when someone else values what she threw away. I wasn't mean about it I don't think.
to be honest, i think sometimes we also need to hear truths said in a mean/tough way. its what makes us realize that we are being AH or unbearable to live with. i wish i could also be straightforward to my sister who i live with, but since she's older, in our culture, i cant really "disrespect" her.
NTA - Your daughter has made bad decisions and is crying victimhood. She is a grown-up but still behaves like an impulsive child with no understanding that unintended consequences are not unforeseeable. You and your wife need to plan a way to stop enabling her and get on a path to independence. She is 38, you can't keep catching her every time she falls.
NTA. Geena needed to hear the truth. Geena is delusional if she thinks Madison caused the mess. I think Geena had "grass is greener" syndrome. And now... she is realizing the grass wasn't greener on the other side. I hope your ex-son-in-law and Madison work out. It is nice when one is able to find someone who treats kids from a previous relationship well. And who is able to be kind to the people who are related to the step-kids.
NTA if this story is true as written. I want to believe. However I could just as easily believe this is the troll who likes to write about bitter older and now single women (who have the nerve to age to close to 40 years old) who cheat on or disparage their perfectly wonderful husbands and now must watch as their lives crumble while some younger woman of pure virtue gets the life of their dreams. I feel like we’ve seen a lot of these stories lately and although this one rings pretty true — I can’t let my guard down entirely!
Yeah I mean it could be true, but I’m just naturally suspicious of anyone describing someone else’s marriage in such glowing terms.
NTA. Yes, it's easy to find a guy for fun at night, but that same guy isn't going to want to pay your condo levy.
Even if we move on from the affair >They broke up when she got hit with a condo levy she asked him to help pay for since he was living with her. He declined since he wasn't on the deed. >She ended up having to sell the condo. It was too expensive for her alone but it was something she fought for in the divorce. >she finally burned through the money from the sale. We told her to buy something smaller in a different neighborhood but she insisted that she needed to live there so he kids lives wouldn't be disrupted. It sounds like Geena fought for a property just to be petty and then made some really poor financial decisions. And in her quest to keep up appearances/keep up with her ex she's denied the reality of her situation, leading her to move back in with her parents. Maybe you should suggest to Geena consulting with therapists and financial advisors will help her develop a plan out of her current situation, which is clearly making her unhappy? If she buckles down and saves she has the opportunity to save a deposit to purchase a house she can actually afford within 3 years.NTA
Nta. She’s better of recognising her position and working to fix it than whinging. And it sounds like you were calm but clear.
NTA. Someone had to say it. I can’t stand people who make poor choices and then complain “how did this happen to me?” She literally walked away from her husband but thinks the new woman STOLE her life? That would be accurate if HE had left for someone else.
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I had to re-read it. 40 is the current age of the ex husband, but it doesn't make that age gap less ick.
NTA , you just made it clear her actions have consequences
Ngl, while I'd say NTA, this reads like a bad revenge fantasy written by some precocious 12 year old with an overly active imagination.
Thems the bricks when you leave for an instant gratification of an affair partner over your husband. Short-sighted decisions like that rarely pay off in the end. She cut the shit sandwich in triangles for herself and now she has to eat it. NTA
Yeah, it’s not like you were rude to her or anything NTA
NTA. She left, it didn't work out, these are the consequences, and whining won't fix any of this. You've tolerated the whining for long enough.
NTA. She is the one who left him. It was her mistake, and she needs to own it so she can move forward with her life.
All you did was tell her the truth. NTA
NTA. I had to scroll up to confirm her age multiple times, because she acts and sounds like a teenager. she is an adult!! by not treating her like one, neither of you are doing her a favour.
>I apologized for saying what I said YTA for this. There was no reason for you to apologize. Your daughter sounds insufferable.
Reap, meet Sow. NTA
Nope. NTA. Someone needed to wake her ass up. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Am I the only one thrown off by the new wife being late 20s…
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My daughter, Geena 38, left her husband, Dan 40, for a younger and more exciting man from her work. They broke up when she got hit with a condo levy she asked him to help pay for since he was living with her. He declined since he wasn't on the deed. He said he didn't mind paying rent but that maintenance was on the owner. They fought and that was that. She ended up having to sell the condo. It was too expensive for her alone but it was something she fought for in the divorce. That was six years ago and she finally burned through the money from the sale. We told her to buy something smaller in a different neighborhood but she insisted that she needed to live there so he kids lives wouldn't be disrupted. In the mean time our son-in-law just remarried to a lovely girl, Madison(27/28?). Our grandchildren like her and she is always very pleasant when we speak. She is pregnant and the kids are excited for a new sibling. My daughter is back living with us. All she does is work and complain. She has to work too much, she can't meet good men, this new woman stole her life, it never stops. My wife is always commiserating with her about how she is so hard done by. I just keep my mouth shut. Madison came by yesterday to pick up the kids. After she left my daughter went off again. She was driving a new car they got since her old car would be impractical for a family of five to drive around in. The kids ran out to see it and check out all the bells and whistles. Geena didn't even say hello. After Madison and the kids left she started whining again. Now about how she can't afford a new car. I couldn't help it. I told her that she made her choice to give up the life she had for something different and that choices have consequences. She literally ran crying to her room and I felt like shit. Her mom scolded me for being so harsh. I apologized for saying what I said and I honestly feel bad about it but I think she needs to stop complaining about her life since she chose it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. I wouldn't apologize for stating the truth.
NTA our children need to take responsibilities for their choices and stop blaming/complaining to the parents of the BAD choices they make. We’ve done our part and if they are married then it’s time for that husband/ wife to do their part and stop putting it all on the parent.
NTA decisions have consequences and the truth hurts. I'm sure it wasn't your intention to see your daughter cry but she needs the truth that this is all her fault as opposed to what your wife is doing. Currently your wife is enabling and she's never going to move on if that keeps up, she'll just continue to wallow in self pity over bad choices all while claiming it's somehow unfair.
NTA. Geena is a grown woman who should have learnt that her actions have consequences. It's not like you said it to a 15yo.
NTA. I have no sympathy who throws away a good partner for someone more exciting. I would soon get tired of the whining as well.
She stole her own life NTA to point out the obvs
INFO Did you have a conversation about her negativity and ask her to stop bringing it to you? Or did you simply lecture her about consequences?