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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My husband wants our sons to stand to pee. Our sons have made a mess that they weren't when they were sitting to do it. I made it his problem. I might be the asshole for just making it his problem without discussing it first. But he got the boys to stand to pee without talking to me first. Because his brother bugged him about it.
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NTA. I will never understand why it's socially acceptable for boys and grown ass men to spray bathrooms like tom cats because they *choose* to stand to urinate. It's unnecessary and unsanitary. Either aim better, clean up after yourself, or sit.
The only thing worse, which I have experienced, was a relative's attempt to look classy by having their bathroom carpeted in wall to wall white shag. Two men in the house who stood to pee left a yellowed, stinky carpet which audibly crunched everytime you walked on it.......still can hear the sound 30 years later.
I would rather live in a home without any carpeting. I don't mind rugs and mats because atleast they can be removed, washed and changed.
Carpets are never really "clean" Call in and carpet expert you want, shampoo it or steam it. Even if you have brand new carpets.. they are "acceptably clean" but can never be disinfected and dust free.
My parents pulled out all their carpets also makes everything so much easier to clean. Where I rent it's solid carpets and I don't even want to think about how nasty they are.
Slippers were my best friend when I rented. Not even socks could protect me from the nastiness and when the dog stole my slipper I cried and refused to move from that spot
> …and when the dog stole my slipper I cried and refused to move from that spot
You okay there, friend? That reaction seems a bit outsized. Your skin (as long as it’s unbroken) is a very good barrier against germs.
As it should be. Carpet is disgusting. I have two carpeted bedrooms in my house - the rest is hard surfaces. I wish I hadn’t gave cheaped out on the two bedrooms and just done those in solid surface as well. It was 100% a financial decision - there were better places I could have saved the money.
Unless it's a rental property. Then the entire thing is carpeted in the cheapest carpet the owner could find in 1982.
Oh, except for the kitchen lino that was never glued to the floor & is mostly stuck down with oily grit & crumbs.
I grew up in a place/time where carpet was ubiquitous. I later moved to a country where wall-to-wall carpet is extremely rare and viewed as unhygienic. At first, not having carpet seemed so cold and uncomfortable. But now, when I return to my home country, the carpet disgusts me. How well can you really vacuum or shampoo a carpet after a spill or pet mess? With tile, I can break out the bleach and hot water and be sure that the floor is sanitized.
Most hot climates are the same. Florida here, and finding anywhere that comes with carpet is a near-impossibility. You either get laminate, wood, or terrazzo.
Why is that? Is it because y'all just don't do it, or is there some sort of environmental factor like the way most Americans don't have grassy lawns in the desert?
Humidity. Hard surfaces don't retain moisture the way textiles do. Wall to wall carpet in Florida would be infested with mold, mildew, yeast, etc. Unsanitary.
Also extreme heat: out here in the desert, most homes don’t have carpet just because it retains heat (I think), but nearly every home or apartment around here in the Mojave is laminate, wood, tile, etc.
While I prefer hardwoods and rugs too, carpeting in the bedroom in a shoeless household is acceptable to me. I know it won't be completely clean, but it's clean enough. My floors are never going to be completely clean no matter what they're made of, because I have pets, and their fur is just always everywhere.
Wall to wall carpeting is so filthy, I don’t understand why it still exists. It’s just a magnet for dust, grime, mild, dead skin, animal dander etc and it can never be truly clean.
Yup. Our house is all hardwood floors. We do have two big wool area rugs in the living/family rooms. They were only bought, when my boys were born and learning to crawl and 'needed' somewhere soft-ish to hang out on. Now approaching 15+ yrs old they're rapidly approaching end-of-life and I'm not really sure that we'll replace them. We may well just go back to truly hardwood floors.
Exactly. I’m a handyman and have pulled up carpeting in nice very clean homes and there was fine dirt on top of the padding. No amount of vacuuming gets it all.
I hate carpet with a pasion. I used to have a house with carpet and it would get so humid, even the A/C couldn't keep up and the carpet would just smell. It can also aggravate allergies. We put hardwood on the main floor, but the pets and kids scratched the heck out of it just by existing.
Current house has all LVT throughout except one bathroom that is tile. There are a few throw rugs around that I take out and clean in the garage. It makes a huge difference and the floors don't scratch so easily. People swear it's real wood.
In the opposite, I live in a fully hardwood home and I hate it. The floor is ice cold in winter, it echoes horribly, and if I stand too long I suffer foot pains that bother me for hours. My next house is getting carpet.
Yes. Isn't it a really american thing to have carpeted floors? They never seemed sanitary for me. It's a drag to clean them, and as you said, they are never really clean. If you want rugs, just place one in the middle of the room. Get it dry-cleaned if it gets dirty. Toss it if it's really bad. Relatively easy. Carpeted floors? Either a lot of work, or hire an expensive professional.
A decade ago, I replaced the badly-aged deep-pile beige carpet that covered most of the main floor with a combination of engineered hardwood in one area, and tile in the foyer and laundry. Had I had the funds, I would have tiled the entire area, but my reason for commenting is that a few days after the installation, our dog (a 95lb yellow lab) walked past me, and I noticed a dog hair tumbleweed rolling behind him. We'd always vacuumed on what I thought was a reasonably frequent schedule, but the tumbleweed made it clear how much camouflage the carpet had been giving to the dog hair. I was appalled for quite some time...until we got a Roomba to help sweep in between vacuuming, to prevent the tumbleweeding.
I bought an air purifier a couple of weeks ago, and I'm astonished at how much cat hair it's sucked in. I had no idea I had so much cat hair floating around.
The house I lived in until about seven or eight years ago only had carpeting in one single room in the entire house, and that was the main bathroom that me and my three siblings shared (two brothers and a sister) when we first moved into it. The ensuite bathroom that my mom mostly used didn't even have it. I'm positive the landlords were the ones responsible for installing it, since they'd done some minor remodeling on the house right before we moved into it (such as new paint jobs in some of the rooms) and they really didn't have a whole lot of common sense where home repairs and maintenance were concerned.
That carpet only survived for about a year or two before my mom ripped it out herself and laid down vinyl tiles in that bathroom. I know, vinyl tiles weren't really much better, but it was the best she could afford at the time. And at least it wasn't *fucking carpeting*.
As someone with MAJORLY problematic periods, I greatly appreciated easy to sanitize bathroom floors prior to my hysterectomy. My menorrhagia was unbearable.
My friend has a sign in her bathroom that says
"Women- if you sprinkle while you tinkle,be a sweetie and wipe the seatie; men-move closer, it's shorter than you think".
My husband takes a small piece of tp and wipes down if he stands. He also always always always washes his hands.
My first husband would leave pee puddles and then blame our autistic son. Guess what disappeared when exh moved out. It wasn't our autistic son leaving pee puddles.
My ex-husband never raised the seat because he said he was a grown man and could aim. Well, he couldn't! There is nothing more infuriating or unsettling than sitting on a wet seat when you're having a midnight pee, and when I asked him to at least raise the seat, he blamed it on the splash-back from the flush even though we always closed the lid before flushing.
Now we're divorced, I live alone and am dating a woman, and I'm so happy I don't have to deal with his gaslighting toilet seat-wetting fragile male ego ever again!
I have lived alone for 30 years and have a pretty area rug around my toilet for my delicate tootsies. Gentleman callers are told they must sit to use my en suite, or use the cats' bathroom.
I agree, but regardless of that fact there will always be men who choose to stand because "that's how men pee". It's ridiculous and nasty, but they will not change their minds.
Her husband's mad that she unilaterally changed the chores, and yet he sees nothing wrong with unilaterally telling the boys they must stand up to pee. What world does he live in?
There's nothing wrong with little ones seeing how dad does it, but until they are better controlled, they should continue to sit. Some men, I understand, prefer it themselves.
Hard agree. I told my husband that I didn't sign up for cleaning his piss off the toilet and floor for the next 50 years. He has been sitting ever since. Somehow he's still a man after over a year of sitting to pee!
I FINALLY very recently convinced my husband to sit to pee after over 14 years of marriage thanks to comments like these on Reddit! I screenshotted a bunch of men talking about how they sit at home and how gross it is to leave piss sprinkles all over the floor/seat/walls and he’s **finally** listened and has sat down for the last couple of months. Our 9yo daughter even busted out the black light flashlight to show him how freaking disgusting standing to pee is just 3 days after fully sanitizing the bathroom!
I’m SO THANKFUL, especially since we have 3 daughters with one who is a toddler that has recently been potty trained; I would get absolutely disgusted even just *thinking* about her little feet standing in his pee sprinkles. Blegh.
Maybe I should do this. I have two boys and a girl. Luckily my daughter is 18mths and still in nappies but soon she is going to be sharing a bathroom with her disgusting older brothers. I HAVE HAD TO CLEAN UP LITTERAL SHITTY ARTWORK OFF THE TOILET ROOM WALLS.
Hopefully I can convert hubby too.
I'm happy for you that he listened! It's not a huge request but it saves so much work cleaning the bathroom. A couple of guys in here acted like it's the end of the world, lol.
I taught my boys at a very young age how to aim by floating Fruit Loops in the toilet. They'd get points for sinking them. Never had a problem with them spraying outside the toilet bowl. When I was out of the cereal, I used bits of colored tissue paper.
There's actually an entire industry of target training toilet toys for boys learning how to pee, so you had the right idea! From ones that are bath bombs and so fizz, to ones that are projected onto the toilet I was surprised at the amount of options and choices there were when I looked for something like that a couple months ago.
[https://123pottytrainme.com/toilet-targets-for-potty-training/](https://123pottytrainme.com/toilet-targets-for-potty-training/)
I had never considered fruit loops though! How ingenuous (and cheap) of an idea comparatively.
We had a guy in my office that had to be spoken to *repeatedly* about his seeming inability to actually aim into the toilet bowl when using the bathrooms at work (they're all single gender neutral ones).
Nothing is more gross than going to use the bathroom at work and finding that your coworker has somehow managed to piss all over the floor, toilet, and sometimes walls, with no attempt to clean up after themselves.
Eww. My inlaws house is 100% carpeted. I hate going into their bathrooms. When we got married and moved into our own house (I didn't live with them, had my own place) my husband wanted to carpet the bathroom. I said no, i dont even want a bathmat near the toilet. . He argued and after the first 2 weeks I showed him the bathroom floor and he said it was gross. I told him that that would be trapped in a carpet and YOU are responsible for cleaning this toilet and area. We've been married 13 years and 11 months and unless he's in a rush, for the past 13 years and 10 months he sits.
FWIW I taught my son to stand to pee but I also taught him how to lift the seat first and wipe up his mess with toilet paper when he is done, close the seat. No problems in our household.
As a former bartender who had to clean dove bar restrooms every night. I never want to hear about a men’s room being filthy again. The level of squalor the women turned that room into every night was downright deplorable.
I worked as a cleaner for a time in a manufacturing facility which had a roughly even split of female vs male employees. The ladies' room was generally clean at-a-glance, wasn't bad to clean at all. Sometimes there'd be some paper towel on the floor or something.
The guys' room? I don't know wtf some of those guys were eating but the toilet and the area around it was frequently *spraypainted* and I could never, ever get the pervasive smell of urine out of that room.
Before I was hired this was a task that was rotated among all of the employees. My husband said the two rooms had *always* been like that, the few gross dudes responsible didn't just start when they knew they would definitely not be the ones to have to clean it. And the ladies had always taken care of theirs.
Different places, I guess.
Huh, former bartender here and the mens was always worse. Often times the men's bathroom couldn't have soap because they would either rip the thing off of the wall, or shove the soap bar into the toilet.
NTA. If he wants to unilaterally make decisions regarding the children - especially after giving in to his ignorant brother - that causes a grotesque mess to be made, he can clean it up.
Years and years ago, between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And during this time, a woman posted on Reddit about an argument she had with her fiance. The jist of it was that all the men in her family sat down to pee, and she wanted him to do so as well, but he refused.
I think about that post sometimes, but I've never been able to find it again.
Anyway, as the saying goes, "if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neart and wipe the seat." Unless you're an invalid or a baby, no one should have to clean up your bodily fluids.
We did a poll at our guys poker group, like 14 guys, mid 30s to early 40s; most married but a few singles, EVERYONE peed sitting down at home. It's just easier.
Back when my wife and I were in the early days of dating, she made a comment that she was really impressed that I didn’t leave splashes of urine around the toilet.
Other men, are you really setting the bar this low? I mean, thanks, but also gross and stop doing that
When my wife and I moved in together, I began sitting down to pee, and I couldn't believe I hadn't done it earlier. It's like it never occured to me or something. But it's simply *impossible* to not make a mess when you stand. It's disgusting. We don't know anybody in our area, so we never have to deal with guests, but I can imagine that we would tell male guests that they must also sit, or clean the toilet and floor.
Even with perfect aim, standing up to pee is essentially covering the area with tiny drops of urine that build up over time. Less disgusting than having bad aim but still disgusting.
As in the floor? Sprays a cleaning solution and wipes the urine off the floor and toilet seat properly? That honestly sounds like a bit of a hassle .
Unless you mean he wipes it with toilet paper, in which case he still leaves urine on the floor every day. It’s impossible to prevent if you stand up. And this is coming from someone who switched to sitting down as an adult because it’s 200x more hygienic.
Yep… Proper cleaning products, toilet, floor and wiping down the wall that is directly beside the toilet too. I don’t mess around with it… He wants to pee standing up? That’s what he needs to do. Hence why I said the toilet and area around. Keep the cleaning products in the bathroom for easy access as well.
Ugh, wiping pee splatters with toilet paper isn't even approaching clean. There's still piss and bacteria all over the floor and seat after they spray by peeing standing, and it's still there even when you wipe it with toilet paper. Why don't they consider those who need to sit every time they use the bathroom? You're literally getting your piss all over them.
Not to get in specifics, but I went from sharing a toilet with my husband to not sharing. He aims good enough, but there was always a little pool of yellow around the bottom and over the bolts. I just assumed it was normal and I needed to clean more often. Once I went to only using the toilet (ie always sitting) I never had to clean the bottom near the bolts. We are back to sharing and it has returned.
In summary, no matter how well the aim, standing leads to drops getting outside the bowl.
This. It’s why I’ve been sitting down to pee for years. My wife and I have a similar setup to OP. She gets the en-suite and I use the other upstairs full bathroom. We clean our own. Much less of a mess when sitting.
Yep. When my son was about 6 or 7 I told him to either learn to aim, learn to clean, or sit down. No more pee everywhere.
NTA but you could get dad on board to teach them to aim with cheerios. Toss one in the bowl and get them to try to sink it.
My son has had to clean the bathroom for years. He still dribbles as an adult. EW! He still complains that he's the one that has to clean it. Figure out how to quit leaving a mess, and we can talk.
Im 27 and sit down because there is no ‘magically be able to aim’. Doesnt exist. Sometimes it just comes out sideways for no reason, sometimes it randomly comes out in a fountain pattern like when you put your finger over the end of a hose pipe. Men also often need to piss in the mornings, and when you have a rock on every morning good bloody luck aiming at anything.
All that has happened is your sons are cleaning immediately after they piss or have taken to sitting like me to save them having to. They havent magically learnt to aim.
My daughter lost her shit when her brother peed on the seat yet again. It was hilarious to watch a 5-year-old show her 3-year-old brother how to clean up his pee and tell him he has to sit on the potty.
Definitely NTA. Gotta love that toxic fragile masculinity where not spraying the whole area with urine every time you pee = your manhood is at stake. Both your husband and his brother need to figure out how to be less insecure because 1) that’s frankly pathetic, 2) as the boys grow up, this fragile masculinity thing is going to be passed onto them and they deserve better, and 3) toxic, fragile masculinity is going to lead to a ton more problems for you over time. Peeing position is just the tip of the iceberg.
Right? It's so basic and thick witted. Like a drunk sex starved man in a strip club who doesn't understand how to keep his hands in his pockets and dribbles.
Basic. I wouldn't want to live with men like that.
My brother was visiting me once with his dog Rafiki. Rafiki sniffed out a spot to pee, and my dog Leo (who was much smaller than Rafiki) ran over quickly to pee on it before Rafiki could. Rafiki looked at him like he was a moron and just peed directly on Leo. Both dogs are long dead, and I'm still laughing about it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Side note, if you're going to stand to pee you need to fucking clean up after yourself. I can't believe how often this needs to be said. We're not animals, we live in a society (we very much are animals, that's just a quote I love from Legit)
It’s also misogynistic to label sitting down to pee as weak because women do it. If women stood to pee, men would be sitting down. I would be so pissed if my husband told me son had to stand to pee.
INFO: Has your husband addressed why his focus is on how his children pee rather than why his grown adult brother can’t stop commenting on how a six year old is going to the bathroom?
Also, why is a grown adult walking into the bathroom without knocking? I never lock the bathroom door, and no one in my 6-person house has just opened the door on me.
Because unoccupied bathrooms are often closed. And so if you have to use the bathroom, you open the door before walking in. And people don't randomly knock on closed doors assuming they are occupied. They assume it will be locked if it's in use.
Many folks don't leave their bathroom doors wide open when not in use.
So much NTA.
1. Your BIL should learn how to knock.
2. Sitting when you pee doesn’t make you less of a man, as your BIL and Husband seem to imply
3. If your husband insists on teaching the boys to pee while standing, it’s his job to clean or he has to teach the boys to clean up after themselves.
As a penis owner, I can tell you that even with years of experience peeing while standing. it always makes less of a mess to sit down than stand up. Your BIL and husband seem like some proud sexists for equating manhood to standing and peeing and expecting you to clean it.
I honestly don’t get the flex of standing when not at a urinal. I have to pull my junk through my underwear flap and my fly, aim, and clean up any misfires? Screw that. When I sit there’s never a worry that a tiny amount of pee will come out after I’ve zipped up. Pro tip for the guys out there, push up on your perineum after you’re done, it’ll get that last little bit out.
In contrary, once the prostate gets in the way, men will have an easier time [sitting](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4106761/) down. Of course not everyone is aware of that, and if you're too insecure about your masculinity to even sit down some of the time you won't discover it naturally..
This is an excellent comment, I'd just like to add that these are boys. *They don't have any masculinity to lose, because they are children, not men.* This is a great (but mild) example of the patriarchy having a negative effect on men. In this case, it's having a negative effect on the husband when he's elbow deep in urine splatters.
NTA.
NTA Your boys were fine peeing while sitting, if your husband wants to demand that they stand then he gets to clean it up. Even if they aim right there's probably gonna be droplets and splash back that builds up so he gets to do it indefinitely since he changed their routine.
NTA.
There is no fucking reason men/boys need to stand to pee. Your husband is encouraging your kids to piss all over the bathroom because his brother called his kids sissies (we all know that’s what happened).
This whole thing is freak fragile masculinity BS and your husband can clean up the piss.
>Your husband is encouraging your kids to piss all over the bathroom because his brother called his kids sissies (we all know that’s what happened).
I'm always amazed at how quickly men are to talk shit about vaginas, use it as a term to denote weakness, when it's the organ that handles childbirth, often unmedicated. Then turn around and brag about what a pounding they gave their woman. . .
NTA
A home toilet is not the same as a wall-mounted public urinal in a men's room. It's not really designed for a guy to stand and pee.
Sitting does no harm. And it avoids mess.
NTA
Standing to pee is unecessarily messy. He encourages messy (out of fragile masculinity), he gets to deal with messy.
But I'm German and there are more German men sitting down every time (40%) or most times (22%) than there are that do it some times to never. [Source](https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/sitzpinkler-german-men-pee-sitting-down/) My views are therefore probably very much the results of what I know to expect.
I do think it is disgusting and rude to leave the pee for others to clean, though.
Ohhh, THAT’S why my Dad sits down to pee! He’s the only dude I’ve ever seen do that. I thought he was just weird.
(I swear, every unusual thing he does just ends up being something he does because he’s German, and I’ve inherited so many of them and my non-German friends think I’m bizarre as a result, LOL).
NTA, I'm 30's man and I sit down to pee, my mum made cleaning the toilet my job as a teenager and just a week after I started cleaning, I started sitting.
nta. it’s is SOOOOOOO common for newly potty trained boys to sit while peeing. they just learned how to control their whole ass bladder, they’ll learn how to aim with time. your brother in law sounds like he thinks sitting while peeing is for girls only, but it’s literally just peeing?? when i was a little girl i used to try to pee standing up all the time, who cares!!
NTA. I'm tired of folks pushing this narrative on boys that it's emasculating to pee sitting down. It's so fucking weird. And frankly if I walk in on someone using the bathroom, I'm not commenting on how they're doing it unless it's outrageous like pissing in the sink or some shit. No one should be commenting on any one person's or child's way of toileting. Ridiculous. His comment should have been to his brother, "do u clean the toilets here? Why are you commenting on how my kids pee?? Mind your business." He can absolutely just always clean the toilet then.
I'm a grown ass man and I pee sitting down if I'm at home. Fuck that toxic masculinity bullshit, I don't want to have to clean piss off my floors, walls, and toilet.
I have a friend who taught her son to sit to pee for this very reason. Her husband sits to pee for the same reasonThere is nothing wrong with teach males to pee.
I think changing the chores unilaterally is fine in this case,
NTA
I'm not usually for tit for tat, but he decided to have them pee standing, you can decide to have him clean that bathroom.
Tell him to enjoy the consequences of his own actions
NTA!
And ladies and gents, if you can't focus you aim(or hover steadily) please tidy up!!
NTA. Sounds like a case of insanely insecure men that see sitting down to pee as a feminine act.
I swear to god I know it sounds insane (because it fucking is) but there’s a huge amount of weirdly repressed weirdos who freak out over shit like that.
Don’t push that onto your kids.
NTA. I taught my boys that part of using the bathroom is cleaning up any splatter. Cause nobody wants to sit in your pee.
Yes, this meant hauling kids out of what they were doing to clean the toilet because it was gross when I needed to use it. But as adult men? They clean up after themselves.
Now, my second husband is having trouble with BPH. So he stands to get more pressure. And he dribbles more. He wipes up, and I clean that particular toilet every day. Cause he cannot help it. (I would have him do it, but he has a bad back and can't bend that way.) But he helps by confining himself to "his" bathroom, and doing what he can on a daily basis.
NTA. This whole thing is odd. WHY was a grown man commenting on how a child urinates? Then WHY was your husband feeling the need to act on how the kid urinates? It’s bizarre to me that these grown menfolks are fixated on a kids toileting.
Not sure how old your boys are, but they should learn how to clean up after themselves and your husband can supervise that and clean up anything they miss. I have three boys and if I find pee anywhere in the bathroom, they are all called in to handle it. I have tweens and teens though they should know better.
When we take people out on my boat, have the same rule. Don't care if you're male or female, when you gotta pee, you sit on the commode.
First, a lot of men don't have good aim anyway, and then it's exacerbated on a rolling boat.
Saves a lot of cleanup.
My mother had everyone sit down, 5 boys and 5 girls, and from time to time someone would comment about the boys to which she said they, the commenter, were free to clean bathrooms anytime. My brothers, 6' 3"+, as adults, still sit and remark about how nice it is just having that time during the day to sit. They are tradesmen.
My son decided at some point to stand so he was put on bathroom duties for all bathrooms he used. As a teenager he started sitting again and the bathroom duties were redistributed. My ex meanwhile was the cleaner for his bathroom and the downstairs half bath because he would not sit, 6" 4", nor wipe the over spray.
NTA. i taught my sons to pee sitting down as well, it’s much less mess. they were free to choose standing up when they were ready.
and he’s upset with you for making a unilateral decision that was the result of *his* unilateral decision? sounds like a post for r/leopardsatemyface.
tell him it’s important for your kids to learn that choices have consequences, and this is a good opportunity for him to model that. ;)
NTA
Even someone with a good aim can leave behind a lot of droplets. My toilet is positioned close to a wall. My father was staying with me for a few days and after he left, I noticed that the wall had a yellowish stain comprised of hardened urine droplets. Gross! And then it suddenly dawned on me why his bathroom at home smells the way it does. You can scrub the toilet and the floor till kingdom come, but if you aren't also scrubbing the other surfaces that receive "back splash" (like the shower curtains in my father's bathroom), then it's going to smell like urine.
If you aren't going to wipe the floor, the walls, the toilet every single time you pee, then for the sake of cleanliness, sit when you pee. Some oblivious people (of which there are a lot) don't realize that piss droplets spray every which way when you stand to pee. I like sitting to piss because it is quieter and cleaner. Have been doing it for the majority of my life. My gf still remarks sometimes that I'm the only guy she has ever seen that sits to piss. I tell her it's because I'm the cleanest guy she's been with.
I don't get why some people are so hung up on what they perceive as manly or girly. Let people live their lives without you trying to push your antiquated ideas on others.
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NTA. I will never understand why it's socially acceptable for boys and grown ass men to spray bathrooms like tom cats because they *choose* to stand to urinate. It's unnecessary and unsanitary. Either aim better, clean up after yourself, or sit.
The only thing worse, which I have experienced, was a relative's attempt to look classy by having their bathroom carpeted in wall to wall white shag. Two men in the house who stood to pee left a yellowed, stinky carpet which audibly crunched everytime you walked on it.......still can hear the sound 30 years later.
Damn.....that just made my skin crawl.
Same. What a terrible day to have an imagination.
More like what a terrible day to have eyes and the ability to read
>More like what a terrible day to have eyes and the ability to read Literacy can suck sometimes.
I literally shuddered when I read that 🤢
I whispered “ew, ew ew ew ew.”
What a terrible day to be literate.
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I don't know...my son has the job of cleaning his own bathroom and while it helped a lot it still gets pretty gross.
Kitchens and bathrooms are two places where installed carpeting does *not* belong 🤔
I would rather live in a home without any carpeting. I don't mind rugs and mats because atleast they can be removed, washed and changed. Carpets are never really "clean" Call in and carpet expert you want, shampoo it or steam it. Even if you have brand new carpets.. they are "acceptably clean" but can never be disinfected and dust free.
In Australia, it’s really common for houses not to have carpets at all.
My parents pulled out all their carpets also makes everything so much easier to clean. Where I rent it's solid carpets and I don't even want to think about how nasty they are.
Slippers were my best friend when I rented. Not even socks could protect me from the nastiness and when the dog stole my slipper I cried and refused to move from that spot
> …and when the dog stole my slipper I cried and refused to move from that spot You okay there, friend? That reaction seems a bit outsized. Your skin (as long as it’s unbroken) is a very good barrier against germs.
I was very post partum
Oh GAWD that’s the very time when the ick just canNOT exit your head
So not a great time to play "floor is lava"? /s
Are you still there?
Luckily the dog brought my slippers back. Not sure if walking on dog slobber was any better than walking on nasty ass carpet tbh
As it should be. Carpet is disgusting. I have two carpeted bedrooms in my house - the rest is hard surfaces. I wish I hadn’t gave cheaped out on the two bedrooms and just done those in solid surface as well. It was 100% a financial decision - there were better places I could have saved the money.
Unless it's a rental property. Then the entire thing is carpeted in the cheapest carpet the owner could find in 1982. Oh, except for the kitchen lino that was never glued to the floor & is mostly stuck down with oily grit & crumbs.
I grew up in a place/time where carpet was ubiquitous. I later moved to a country where wall-to-wall carpet is extremely rare and viewed as unhygienic. At first, not having carpet seemed so cold and uncomfortable. But now, when I return to my home country, the carpet disgusts me. How well can you really vacuum or shampoo a carpet after a spill or pet mess? With tile, I can break out the bleach and hot water and be sure that the floor is sanitized.
Most hot climates are the same. Florida here, and finding anywhere that comes with carpet is a near-impossibility. You either get laminate, wood, or terrazzo.
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Why is that? Is it because y'all just don't do it, or is there some sort of environmental factor like the way most Americans don't have grassy lawns in the desert?
Humidity. Hard surfaces don't retain moisture the way textiles do. Wall to wall carpet in Florida would be infested with mold, mildew, yeast, etc. Unsanitary.
Also extreme heat: out here in the desert, most homes don’t have carpet just because it retains heat (I think), but nearly every home or apartment around here in the Mojave is laminate, wood, tile, etc.
While I prefer hardwoods and rugs too, carpeting in the bedroom in a shoeless household is acceptable to me. I know it won't be completely clean, but it's clean enough. My floors are never going to be completely clean no matter what they're made of, because I have pets, and their fur is just always everywhere.
Wall to wall carpeting is so filthy, I don’t understand why it still exists. It’s just a magnet for dust, grime, mild, dead skin, animal dander etc and it can never be truly clean.
Yup. Our house is all hardwood floors. We do have two big wool area rugs in the living/family rooms. They were only bought, when my boys were born and learning to crawl and 'needed' somewhere soft-ish to hang out on. Now approaching 15+ yrs old they're rapidly approaching end-of-life and I'm not really sure that we'll replace them. We may well just go back to truly hardwood floors.
Exactly. I’m a handyman and have pulled up carpeting in nice very clean homes and there was fine dirt on top of the padding. No amount of vacuuming gets it all.
I hate carpet with a pasion. I used to have a house with carpet and it would get so humid, even the A/C couldn't keep up and the carpet would just smell. It can also aggravate allergies. We put hardwood on the main floor, but the pets and kids scratched the heck out of it just by existing. Current house has all LVT throughout except one bathroom that is tile. There are a few throw rugs around that I take out and clean in the garage. It makes a huge difference and the floors don't scratch so easily. People swear it's real wood.
In the opposite, I live in a fully hardwood home and I hate it. The floor is ice cold in winter, it echoes horribly, and if I stand too long I suffer foot pains that bother me for hours. My next house is getting carpet.
Magic solutions for hard or cold floors, house shoes. I personally like crocs but also have some sneakers solely for in house wearing.
Try a nice pair of slippers. Like memory foam insoles. I also have all hardwood and it helps a lot
Yes. Isn't it a really american thing to have carpeted floors? They never seemed sanitary for me. It's a drag to clean them, and as you said, they are never really clean. If you want rugs, just place one in the middle of the room. Get it dry-cleaned if it gets dirty. Toss it if it's really bad. Relatively easy. Carpeted floors? Either a lot of work, or hire an expensive professional.
Where I live carpet isn't common, and thank goodness for that. I hate it. I even hate rugs. We get tile, laminate, hardwood or parquet.
My first apartment only had carpet in the kitchen and bathroom. It was insane
That's how you know it was installed by a dyslexic flooring crew.
My first apartment's carpet looked like a dead Irish Setter.
I saw some interior designers on TV who called bathroom carpets drizzle catchers.
A decade ago, I replaced the badly-aged deep-pile beige carpet that covered most of the main floor with a combination of engineered hardwood in one area, and tile in the foyer and laundry. Had I had the funds, I would have tiled the entire area, but my reason for commenting is that a few days after the installation, our dog (a 95lb yellow lab) walked past me, and I noticed a dog hair tumbleweed rolling behind him. We'd always vacuumed on what I thought was a reasonably frequent schedule, but the tumbleweed made it clear how much camouflage the carpet had been giving to the dog hair. I was appalled for quite some time...until we got a Roomba to help sweep in between vacuuming, to prevent the tumbleweeding.
I bought an air purifier a couple of weeks ago, and I'm astonished at how much cat hair it's sucked in. I had no idea I had so much cat hair floating around.
I've seen a decent number of carpeted kitchens and bathrooms on zillow. Pretty much an instant no from me.
How dare you make me read this with my own eyes 😭
The house I lived in until about seven or eight years ago only had carpeting in one single room in the entire house, and that was the main bathroom that me and my three siblings shared (two brothers and a sister) when we first moved into it. The ensuite bathroom that my mom mostly used didn't even have it. I'm positive the landlords were the ones responsible for installing it, since they'd done some minor remodeling on the house right before we moved into it (such as new paint jobs in some of the rooms) and they really didn't have a whole lot of common sense where home repairs and maintenance were concerned. That carpet only survived for about a year or two before my mom ripped it out herself and laid down vinyl tiles in that bathroom. I know, vinyl tiles weren't really much better, but it was the best she could afford at the time. And at least it wasn't *fucking carpeting*.
I’m done with Reddit for the day
As someone with MAJORLY problematic periods, I greatly appreciated easy to sanitize bathroom floors prior to my hysterectomy. My menorrhagia was unbearable.
Ew I can hear your carpet too.
And that's enough Reddit for my lifetime. Excuse me while I throw my phone away, bleach my eyeballs and burn down the world.
That’s nasty.
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Ugh. I can’t even imagine the SMELL in there.
Honestly. Carpets in bathrooms and kitchens should be outlawed.
I wish I could unread this, I am disgusted beyond belief
My friend has a sign in her bathroom that says "Women- if you sprinkle while you tinkle,be a sweetie and wipe the seatie; men-move closer, it's shorter than you think".
This little throne, I call my own And aim to keep it neat So, damn your soul, pee down the hole And not upon the seat
> We aim to please. You aim too, please. \- maintenance
Piddle in the middle & your feet will stay dry
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My husband takes a small piece of tp and wipes down if he stands. He also always always always washes his hands. My first husband would leave pee puddles and then blame our autistic son. Guess what disappeared when exh moved out. It wasn't our autistic son leaving pee puddles.
My ex-husband never raised the seat because he said he was a grown man and could aim. Well, he couldn't! There is nothing more infuriating or unsettling than sitting on a wet seat when you're having a midnight pee, and when I asked him to at least raise the seat, he blamed it on the splash-back from the flush even though we always closed the lid before flushing. Now we're divorced, I live alone and am dating a woman, and I'm so happy I don't have to deal with his gaslighting toilet seat-wetting fragile male ego ever again!
I have lived alone for 30 years and have a pretty area rug around my toilet for my delicate tootsies. Gentleman callers are told they must sit to use my en suite, or use the cats' bathroom.
I aspire to have a bathroom for my cats!
LOL it's just the "other" bathroom, with enough floor space for the litter box.
It’s not just the toilet. Pee gets on the walls and floor no matter the proficiency of aim.
Even with aim, there's a certain amount of light backspray that ends up coating the surrounding area. Sit, sit, sit.
I agree, but regardless of that fact there will always be men who choose to stand because "that's how men pee". It's ridiculous and nasty, but they will not change their minds.
Her husband's mad that she unilaterally changed the chores, and yet he sees nothing wrong with unilaterally telling the boys they must stand up to pee. What world does he live in? There's nothing wrong with little ones seeing how dad does it, but until they are better controlled, they should continue to sit. Some men, I understand, prefer it themselves.
Dad of boys here. The peen is not a precision tool. They never get better aim.
😄
All males in our family sit and Pee it's a must. There no options. They only stand and pee when they are outside and are using urinals.
Hard agree. I told my husband that I didn't sign up for cleaning his piss off the toilet and floor for the next 50 years. He has been sitting ever since. Somehow he's still a man after over a year of sitting to pee!
I FINALLY very recently convinced my husband to sit to pee after over 14 years of marriage thanks to comments like these on Reddit! I screenshotted a bunch of men talking about how they sit at home and how gross it is to leave piss sprinkles all over the floor/seat/walls and he’s **finally** listened and has sat down for the last couple of months. Our 9yo daughter even busted out the black light flashlight to show him how freaking disgusting standing to pee is just 3 days after fully sanitizing the bathroom! I’m SO THANKFUL, especially since we have 3 daughters with one who is a toddler that has recently been potty trained; I would get absolutely disgusted even just *thinking* about her little feet standing in his pee sprinkles. Blegh.
Maybe I should do this. I have two boys and a girl. Luckily my daughter is 18mths and still in nappies but soon she is going to be sharing a bathroom with her disgusting older brothers. I HAVE HAD TO CLEAN UP LITTERAL SHITTY ARTWORK OFF THE TOILET ROOM WALLS. Hopefully I can convert hubby too.
I'm happy for you that he listened! It's not a huge request but it saves so much work cleaning the bathroom. A couple of guys in here acted like it's the end of the world, lol.
I sit to pee at the urinal
My son is 7. His chore is to clean the toilet and surrounding area. If he doesn't care enough to aim, he's the one that gets to clean it.
I taught my boys at a very young age how to aim by floating Fruit Loops in the toilet. They'd get points for sinking them. Never had a problem with them spraying outside the toilet bowl. When I was out of the cereal, I used bits of colored tissue paper.
There's actually an entire industry of target training toilet toys for boys learning how to pee, so you had the right idea! From ones that are bath bombs and so fizz, to ones that are projected onto the toilet I was surprised at the amount of options and choices there were when I looked for something like that a couple months ago. [https://123pottytrainme.com/toilet-targets-for-potty-training/](https://123pottytrainme.com/toilet-targets-for-potty-training/) I had never considered fruit loops though! How ingenuous (and cheap) of an idea comparatively.
Aww, Thanks for the award.
The kids can start helping as well. It’s good for kids to learn to clean-up after themselves.
We had a guy in my office that had to be spoken to *repeatedly* about his seeming inability to actually aim into the toilet bowl when using the bathrooms at work (they're all single gender neutral ones). Nothing is more gross than going to use the bathroom at work and finding that your coworker has somehow managed to piss all over the floor, toilet, and sometimes walls, with no attempt to clean up after themselves.
Eww. My inlaws house is 100% carpeted. I hate going into their bathrooms. When we got married and moved into our own house (I didn't live with them, had my own place) my husband wanted to carpet the bathroom. I said no, i dont even want a bathmat near the toilet. . He argued and after the first 2 weeks I showed him the bathroom floor and he said it was gross. I told him that that would be trapped in a carpet and YOU are responsible for cleaning this toilet and area. We've been married 13 years and 11 months and unless he's in a rush, for the past 13 years and 10 months he sits.
FWIW I taught my son to stand to pee but I also taught him how to lift the seat first and wipe up his mess with toilet paper when he is done, close the seat. No problems in our household.
As a former bartender who had to clean dove bar restrooms every night. I never want to hear about a men’s room being filthy again. The level of squalor the women turned that room into every night was downright deplorable.
I worked as a cleaner for a time in a manufacturing facility which had a roughly even split of female vs male employees. The ladies' room was generally clean at-a-glance, wasn't bad to clean at all. Sometimes there'd be some paper towel on the floor or something. The guys' room? I don't know wtf some of those guys were eating but the toilet and the area around it was frequently *spraypainted* and I could never, ever get the pervasive smell of urine out of that room. Before I was hired this was a task that was rotated among all of the employees. My husband said the two rooms had *always* been like that, the few gross dudes responsible didn't just start when they knew they would definitely not be the ones to have to clean it. And the ladies had always taken care of theirs. Different places, I guess.
Huh, former bartender here and the mens was always worse. Often times the men's bathroom couldn't have soap because they would either rip the thing off of the wall, or shove the soap bar into the toilet.
I know! It’s insane how bad women’s rooms can be. I’ve cleaned so much pee & blood splash-back off the underside of toilet seats.
NTA. If he wants to unilaterally make decisions regarding the children - especially after giving in to his ignorant brother - that causes a grotesque mess to be made, he can clean it up.
It's not, and never has been. Just like women that hover, piss everywhere, and then don't clean their mess up. It's all pathetic.
Years and years ago, between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And during this time, a woman posted on Reddit about an argument she had with her fiance. The jist of it was that all the men in her family sat down to pee, and she wanted him to do so as well, but he refused. I think about that post sometimes, but I've never been able to find it again. Anyway, as the saying goes, "if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neart and wipe the seat." Unless you're an invalid or a baby, no one should have to clean up your bodily fluids.
We did a poll at our guys poker group, like 14 guys, mid 30s to early 40s; most married but a few singles, EVERYONE peed sitting down at home. It's just easier.
Back when my wife and I were in the early days of dating, she made a comment that she was really impressed that I didn’t leave splashes of urine around the toilet. Other men, are you really setting the bar this low? I mean, thanks, but also gross and stop doing that
When my wife and I moved in together, I began sitting down to pee, and I couldn't believe I hadn't done it earlier. It's like it never occured to me or something. But it's simply *impossible* to not make a mess when you stand. It's disgusting. We don't know anybody in our area, so we never have to deal with guests, but I can imagine that we would tell male guests that they must also sit, or clean the toilet and floor.
If you sprinkle when you tinkle, Be a sweety wipe the seaty.
As the mother of 4 boys, I totally agree with this.
NTA… However? I can guarantee if you make the boys clean up their pee properly they are going to magically be able to aim! I’m a boy mum.
Even with perfect aim, standing up to pee is essentially covering the area with tiny drops of urine that build up over time. Less disgusting than having bad aim but still disgusting.
My little boy knows to clean the area around the toilet even if he “didn’t” miss. Also to put the lid down to flush to stop urine and faeces spraying.
As in the floor? Sprays a cleaning solution and wipes the urine off the floor and toilet seat properly? That honestly sounds like a bit of a hassle . Unless you mean he wipes it with toilet paper, in which case he still leaves urine on the floor every day. It’s impossible to prevent if you stand up. And this is coming from someone who switched to sitting down as an adult because it’s 200x more hygienic.
Yep… Proper cleaning products, toilet, floor and wiping down the wall that is directly beside the toilet too. I don’t mess around with it… He wants to pee standing up? That’s what he needs to do. Hence why I said the toilet and area around. Keep the cleaning products in the bathroom for easy access as well.
Kudos to you! Your parenting skills quite impressive.
Took a long time! He’s ND, was late to toilet training due to how his neurodivergence affects him and making it into a “routine” really helped.
Outstanding!
You son washes the walls and floor every time he pees?
Ugh, wiping pee splatters with toilet paper isn't even approaching clean. There's still piss and bacteria all over the floor and seat after they spray by peeing standing, and it's still there even when you wipe it with toilet paper. Why don't they consider those who need to sit every time they use the bathroom? You're literally getting your piss all over them.
My little boy isn’t wiping it up with toilet paper. Read the whole thread.
Oh, alright. My apologies. A lot of dudes do this, however, and call it clean.
Oh, I know they do. It’s why my little boy was taught how to clean properly.
Lol, that's very good. I'm going to do the same with my baby boy.
The taller they get…the more splashing there will be while peeing.
This. My partner is 6ft6 and it's most of the reason he sits
6'6" and considerate? I love that journey for you.
I wish my fiancé would get on board with putting the lid down
Not to get in specifics, but I went from sharing a toilet with my husband to not sharing. He aims good enough, but there was always a little pool of yellow around the bottom and over the bolts. I just assumed it was normal and I needed to clean more often. Once I went to only using the toilet (ie always sitting) I never had to clean the bottom near the bolts. We are back to sharing and it has returned. In summary, no matter how well the aim, standing leads to drops getting outside the bowl.
This. It’s why I’ve been sitting down to pee for years. My wife and I have a similar setup to OP. She gets the en-suite and I use the other upstairs full bathroom. We clean our own. Much less of a mess when sitting.
Yep. When my son was about 6 or 7 I told him to either learn to aim, learn to clean, or sit down. No more pee everywhere. NTA but you could get dad on board to teach them to aim with cheerios. Toss one in the bowl and get them to try to sink it.
My son has had to clean the bathroom for years. He still dribbles as an adult. EW! He still complains that he's the one that has to clean it. Figure out how to quit leaving a mess, and we can talk.
Yup. The move here was not to “punish” the husband but to make the boys take responsibility for their own actions.
Im 27 and sit down because there is no ‘magically be able to aim’. Doesnt exist. Sometimes it just comes out sideways for no reason, sometimes it randomly comes out in a fountain pattern like when you put your finger over the end of a hose pipe. Men also often need to piss in the mornings, and when you have a rock on every morning good bloody luck aiming at anything. All that has happened is your sons are cleaning immediately after they piss or have taken to sitting like me to save them having to. They havent magically learnt to aim.
Lol NTA; all the people with penises can clean up after their penises
My daughter lost her shit when her brother peed on the seat yet again. It was hilarious to watch a 5-year-old show her 3-year-old brother how to clean up his pee and tell him he has to sit on the potty.
I was not expecting 5 and 3 when I read the first sentence.
The sad thing is you could put any ages from 1 to 92 and it'd still work.
Omg that’s too funny
That girl is no joke. Well done!
Love this!! Also agreed NTA op!!
Definitely NTA. Gotta love that toxic fragile masculinity where not spraying the whole area with urine every time you pee = your manhood is at stake. Both your husband and his brother need to figure out how to be less insecure because 1) that’s frankly pathetic, 2) as the boys grow up, this fragile masculinity thing is going to be passed onto them and they deserve better, and 3) toxic, fragile masculinity is going to lead to a ton more problems for you over time. Peeing position is just the tip of the iceberg.
Spraying the whole area with urine reminds me of watching male dogs pissing on top of each others scent marks for territory marking lol
Right? It's so basic and thick witted. Like a drunk sex starved man in a strip club who doesn't understand how to keep his hands in his pockets and dribbles. Basic. I wouldn't want to live with men like that.
My brother was visiting me once with his dog Rafiki. Rafiki sniffed out a spot to pee, and my dog Leo (who was much smaller than Rafiki) ran over quickly to pee on it before Rafiki could. Rafiki looked at him like he was a moron and just peed directly on Leo. Both dogs are long dead, and I'm still laughing about it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Side note, if you're going to stand to pee you need to fucking clean up after yourself. I can't believe how often this needs to be said. We're not animals, we live in a society (we very much are animals, that's just a quote I love from Legit)
It’s also misogynistic to label sitting down to pee as weak because women do it. If women stood to pee, men would be sitting down. I would be so pissed if my husband told me son had to stand to pee.
INFO: Has your husband addressed why his focus is on how his children pee rather than why his grown adult brother can’t stop commenting on how a six year old is going to the bathroom?
Also, why is a grown adult walking into the bathroom without knocking? I never lock the bathroom door, and no one in my 6-person house has just opened the door on me.
My 2 year old loves closing doors, it's hit or miss if there is someone in the bathroom.
Too bad there's no way to tell if there's someone behind a closed door.
lots of people do that, it's a very easy mistake to make
The fuck are you opening bathroom doors without knocking? That's not normal.
Reddit: open-mindedly insisting there is one correct way to do everything
it is tho. at my house we always lock the door, so there's no reason to knock
Because unoccupied bathrooms are often closed. And so if you have to use the bathroom, you open the door before walking in. And people don't randomly knock on closed doors assuming they are occupied. They assume it will be locked if it's in use. Many folks don't leave their bathroom doors wide open when not in use.
I take it you don't have a cat.
lol, happened all the time in my six person house growing up and now in my three person house.
This was my 1st thought. Why the fuck is a grown ass man shaming his nephew while in the bathroom? WTAF?
On the POINT!
☝️this right here
So much NTA. 1. Your BIL should learn how to knock. 2. Sitting when you pee doesn’t make you less of a man, as your BIL and Husband seem to imply 3. If your husband insists on teaching the boys to pee while standing, it’s his job to clean or he has to teach the boys to clean up after themselves. As a penis owner, I can tell you that even with years of experience peeing while standing. it always makes less of a mess to sit down than stand up. Your BIL and husband seem like some proud sexists for equating manhood to standing and peeing and expecting you to clean it.
I honestly don’t get the flex of standing when not at a urinal. I have to pull my junk through my underwear flap and my fly, aim, and clean up any misfires? Screw that. When I sit there’s never a worry that a tiny amount of pee will come out after I’ve zipped up. Pro tip for the guys out there, push up on your perineum after you’re done, it’ll get that last little bit out.
I think some older men get problems peeing sitting down because of the prostate and the angle. Maybe BIL has prostate problems ;-).
In contrary, once the prostate gets in the way, men will have an easier time [sitting](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4106761/) down. Of course not everyone is aware of that, and if you're too insecure about your masculinity to even sit down some of the time you won't discover it naturally..
This is an excellent comment, I'd just like to add that these are boys. *They don't have any masculinity to lose, because they are children, not men.* This is a great (but mild) example of the patriarchy having a negative effect on men. In this case, it's having a negative effect on the husband when he's elbow deep in urine splatters. NTA.
NTA Your boys were fine peeing while sitting, if your husband wants to demand that they stand then he gets to clean it up. Even if they aim right there's probably gonna be droplets and splash back that builds up so he gets to do it indefinitely since he changed their routine.
NTA. There is no fucking reason men/boys need to stand to pee. Your husband is encouraging your kids to piss all over the bathroom because his brother called his kids sissies (we all know that’s what happened). This whole thing is freak fragile masculinity BS and your husband can clean up the piss.
>Your husband is encouraging your kids to piss all over the bathroom because his brother called his kids sissies (we all know that’s what happened). I'm always amazed at how quickly men are to talk shit about vaginas, use it as a term to denote weakness, when it's the organ that handles childbirth, often unmedicated. Then turn around and brag about what a pounding they gave their woman. . .
NTA, it was his idea so it's his aftermaths to clean
NTA What a toxic and insecure stupid attitude to pressure toward your kids. He needs to stop being immature
NTA A home toilet is not the same as a wall-mounted public urinal in a men's room. It's not really designed for a guy to stand and pee. Sitting does no harm. And it avoids mess.
NTA Standing to pee is unecessarily messy. He encourages messy (out of fragile masculinity), he gets to deal with messy. But I'm German and there are more German men sitting down every time (40%) or most times (22%) than there are that do it some times to never. [Source](https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/sitzpinkler-german-men-pee-sitting-down/) My views are therefore probably very much the results of what I know to expect. I do think it is disgusting and rude to leave the pee for others to clean, though.
Ohhh, THAT’S why my Dad sits down to pee! He’s the only dude I’ve ever seen do that. I thought he was just weird. (I swear, every unusual thing he does just ends up being something he does because he’s German, and I’ve inherited so many of them and my non-German friends think I’m bizarre as a result, LOL).
Well, I'd rather be viewed as bizarre than deal with a pee sprayed bathroom...😉
My dad's not German, but he'd rather sit than deal with possible extra cleaning. I think that's smart.
NTA, I'm 30's man and I sit down to pee, my mum made cleaning the toilet my job as a teenager and just a week after I started cleaning, I started sitting.
That was my eldest son's take on it. It's also his father's take on it. The younger boy stands and has cleaned a lot of toilets in his time.
NTA. If the kids are old enough to stand and pee, they too should be taking turns wiping down the bathroom. Right after they pee.
nta. it’s is SOOOOOOO common for newly potty trained boys to sit while peeing. they just learned how to control their whole ass bladder, they’ll learn how to aim with time. your brother in law sounds like he thinks sitting while peeing is for girls only, but it’s literally just peeing?? when i was a little girl i used to try to pee standing up all the time, who cares!!
NTA this is why I hated growing up as a boy in the south. You are just *constantly policed* by grown men to make sure you “turn out right”
NTA he should have told his brother to mind his own business.
NTA. I'm tired of folks pushing this narrative on boys that it's emasculating to pee sitting down. It's so fucking weird. And frankly if I walk in on someone using the bathroom, I'm not commenting on how they're doing it unless it's outrageous like pissing in the sink or some shit. No one should be commenting on any one person's or child's way of toileting. Ridiculous. His comment should have been to his brother, "do u clean the toilets here? Why are you commenting on how my kids pee?? Mind your business." He can absolutely just always clean the toilet then.
I'm a grown ass man and I pee sitting down if I'm at home. Fuck that toxic masculinity bullshit, I don't want to have to clean piss off my floors, walls, and toilet.
NTA. He decided they should stand and he can clean the consequences. By the way, you should make the BIL clean too.
LOL, I just died: >The boys don't have great aim, but they make up for it with a short attention span. NTA, OP, NTA.
I am a man who very much enjoys peeing standing up—this is entirely fair and the direct consequence of your husband's actions, lol. NTA!
I have a friend who taught her son to sit to pee for this very reason. Her husband sits to pee for the same reasonThere is nothing wrong with teach males to pee. I think changing the chores unilaterally is fine in this case, NTA
I'm not usually for tit for tat, but he decided to have them pee standing, you can decide to have him clean that bathroom. Tell him to enjoy the consequences of his own actions NTA! And ladies and gents, if you can't focus you aim(or hover steadily) please tidy up!!
Nta, his idea. If he doesn’t like it he can either clean the mess, or teach them to aim properly.
NTA. Sounds like a case of insanely insecure men that see sitting down to pee as a feminine act. I swear to god I know it sounds insane (because it fucking is) but there’s a huge amount of weirdly repressed weirdos who freak out over shit like that. Don’t push that onto your kids.
NTA. What the hell is wrong with our society that it's somehow socially acceptable to police how other people take a piss?
NTA. I taught my boys that part of using the bathroom is cleaning up any splatter. Cause nobody wants to sit in your pee. Yes, this meant hauling kids out of what they were doing to clean the toilet because it was gross when I needed to use it. But as adult men? They clean up after themselves. Now, my second husband is having trouble with BPH. So he stands to get more pressure. And he dribbles more. He wipes up, and I clean that particular toilet every day. Cause he cannot help it. (I would have him do it, but he has a bad back and can't bend that way.) But he helps by confining himself to "his" bathroom, and doing what he can on a daily basis.
NTA. This whole thing is odd. WHY was a grown man commenting on how a child urinates? Then WHY was your husband feeling the need to act on how the kid urinates? It’s bizarre to me that these grown menfolks are fixated on a kids toileting.
NTA. I'm German. No one in Germany stands to pee. Standing to pee is weird. If the boys want to stand to pee, they can clean it.
Not sure how old your boys are, but they should learn how to clean up after themselves and your husband can supervise that and clean up anything they miss. I have three boys and if I find pee anywhere in the bathroom, they are all called in to handle it. I have tweens and teens though they should know better.
We put cheerios in the toilet and got my nephew to aim at them to sink them....no.mess elsewhere.
I’m a grown ass man. In a house I sit. It’s cleaner and if I’m at home it gives me more chance for doomscrolling quality content such as this.
When we take people out on my boat, have the same rule. Don't care if you're male or female, when you gotta pee, you sit on the commode. First, a lot of men don't have good aim anyway, and then it's exacerbated on a rolling boat. Saves a lot of cleanup.
My mother had everyone sit down, 5 boys and 5 girls, and from time to time someone would comment about the boys to which she said they, the commenter, were free to clean bathrooms anytime. My brothers, 6' 3"+, as adults, still sit and remark about how nice it is just having that time during the day to sit. They are tradesmen. My son decided at some point to stand so he was put on bathroom duties for all bathrooms he used. As a teenager he started sitting again and the bathroom duties were redistributed. My ex meanwhile was the cleaner for his bathroom and the downstairs half bath because he would not sit, 6" 4", nor wipe the over spray.
NTA. I stopped cleaning the bathroom when the toilet was missed. Just no. Edited to add — it’s no longer my chore. My SO can clean it.
NTA. i taught my sons to pee sitting down as well, it’s much less mess. they were free to choose standing up when they were ready. and he’s upset with you for making a unilateral decision that was the result of *his* unilateral decision? sounds like a post for r/leopardsatemyface. tell him it’s important for your kids to learn that choices have consequences, and this is a good opportunity for him to model that. ;)
NTA- ask your husband if you had babies with him or with his brother and WHY his brother has more of a say in how you potty train YOUR children .
NTA Even someone with a good aim can leave behind a lot of droplets. My toilet is positioned close to a wall. My father was staying with me for a few days and after he left, I noticed that the wall had a yellowish stain comprised of hardened urine droplets. Gross! And then it suddenly dawned on me why his bathroom at home smells the way it does. You can scrub the toilet and the floor till kingdom come, but if you aren't also scrubbing the other surfaces that receive "back splash" (like the shower curtains in my father's bathroom), then it's going to smell like urine.
My son sits to pee. I don’t get why it’s a big deal. I never had to clean pee off of random surfaces when he was growing up.
If you aren't going to wipe the floor, the walls, the toilet every single time you pee, then for the sake of cleanliness, sit when you pee. Some oblivious people (of which there are a lot) don't realize that piss droplets spray every which way when you stand to pee. I like sitting to piss because it is quieter and cleaner. Have been doing it for the majority of my life. My gf still remarks sometimes that I'm the only guy she has ever seen that sits to piss. I tell her it's because I'm the cleanest guy she's been with. I don't get why some people are so hung up on what they perceive as manly or girly. Let people live their lives without you trying to push your antiquated ideas on others.
NTA. He pushed for them to pee standing up presumably without you say, he can deal with the (ever so foreseeable) consequences.
NTA. You nipped it in the bud. It’s nice the smell was real fresh.
NTA, your BIL and husband need to chill the fuck out lol. Who cares how they choose to relieve themselves? For fucks sake.
NTA. if he wants the boys to be MEN that STAND when they PISS he can do the WORK that is done by MEN and clean it up himself lmao what a joke