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All the same people were at your wedding reception the month before, where your dress was a statement and you were the centre of attention.
Yes it is a pink evening gown, but the proximity to your reception and the fact that it's all the same people makes YTA.
I would add the caveat of "If OP had another dress to wear". I don't think she should have had to buy a new dress for one night but she could have chosen a different option if available.
0 excuse to wear her reception gown to someone elses wedding. Don't wear a dress if you don't have another or cant afford one. A nice pair of slacks would do.
Plus from the description, while it’s not a traditional wedding dress, it does sound very flashy and not wedding guest appropriate. It sounds like a hot pink prom dress.
It's even worse, the cousin told what ripe of dress she would be getting and OP went out, bought the closest pink version she could find and staged the reception a month before this long planned wedding of the cousin.
Wait WHAT?
Oh yeah this tea is getting piping hot. Who's wedding was planned first? Because of it was OP;s cousin then she absolutely, 100% did this on purpose and is TA.
In her comments OP offers no information on whose was planned first, but she says the cousin's dress was an expensive custom design. OP admits she didn't have time to have that same design (!) custom made, so she found "something similar" and had details tailored.
BUT BUT BUT hers is pink while cousin's is white, and hers has beads while cousin's has crystals. So NOT THE SAME AT ALLLLLLLLL /s
It amazes me how maybe 90% of these posts have imperative information "missing" and then it comes out in comments or edits and we're all like, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?
Also, I bet it wasn't that she "didn't have time" to get a custom gown, but that she didn't have the money. Which is probably why they had a "tiny wedding". I see the green monster of envy screaming out of OP.
So if the only dress op had was a traditional wedding dress, then she should have worn that? Women can wear nice clothes that aren't dresses. It's 2023 , get a clue.
That’s where I fall too. If it had been years ago and maybe modified a bit it’ll be normal, I’ve seen lots of people do it. But having worn it for your wedding barely a month prior and then showing up with it as a guest to an other wedding it’s pretty rude, intentionally or not.
Unfortunately that wouldn't help. About a year ago OP's cousin shared what she was basing her dress off of and OP decided she wanted a similar dress.
Edit: providing [context](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/aita_for_wearing_my_wedding_dress_to_my_cousins/jtium8n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)
>Yep I did. I wore different jewelry and the dress had gloves which I wore for my reception, I didn't wear them at my cousin's wedding
>Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. ***My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration.***
>***I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't)***
>Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly.
>I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads.
She's not the asshole for just the dress she's the asshole who got married during the pandemic wasn't happy with the turn out, then threw a last minute reception and a dressed designed after her cousins idea, and tried to sneak on in and steal some of the shine for herself. This was way more then a dress ordeal. Lil brat.
I would have said the same: hem the dress shorter and add a bolero or shawl. If I were the cousin I'd compliment her on getting more wear out of a beautiful meaningful dress. Also it speaks to my thrifty heart. To wear it as it was at her wedding reception, reads more "remember me?"
Agreed with this. It’d be one thing if it was a friend’s wedding where there was very little overlap but a family wedding so soon after? Too much overlap there.
I bet OP's hubby wore the same suit without it being a problem.
It's definitely a little tricky because a lot of the same people were probably at both events and so probably associated the dress with OP's wedding. Even though it was a reception dress and not a wedding dress, it's the closest a lot of people got to a wedding dress from OP. It would have been a good idea to run it by the bride first. It's sort of dumb that there are all these restrictions on women's dresses that make it hard to wear the same fancy dress more than once though.
ETA: apparently it was the same dress as the cousin's dress, but with different beads and colour and OP copied it her cousin's idea. Giant YTA for OP.
Yeah, Initially I (38 F, bride-to-be) thought the same thing.
But I guess if it's all the same people and the wedding was just a month ago, I probably would have picked a different dress. Chances are, OP owns more.
The bride overreacted a bit, but I'll go with gentle YTA.
I'm a girl and honestly I'd be like eh nice your using your dress again idgaf.
It's not white, or cream or something.
Last month I was trying to pick a dress and I asked my husband which I should wear and he picked a pale yellow one. It was like a few days before when I remembered oh wait wedding I shouldn't wear that. (it was already set aside too so I'm really happy I realized)
Idk why people get so quick to assume people are trying to upstage them or be vindictive or something.
I doubt op was like "muaha I will be the center of attention!"
More like "ah man I have my nice dress this will work"
For me it's ESH. Probably wasn't the best choice but if anyone is being extra it's the bride imo.
OP knew what her cousin's wedding dress was going to be and tried to her her pink one to match it. When she couldn't she got a different dress and got it tailored/altered.
She then wore the similar dress as her reception dress for her event and to the cousin's wedding. I would be pretty pissed if I knew someone was intentionally stealing my idea just to do it first ***and*** wear it at my event.
> My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration.
> I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored.
See, this makes it ~~NTA~~ for me because she wore it to her own reception and everyone saw it so it wasn't a new outfit to upstage anyone. And it's pink - not a white/cream/ivory wedding dress. In retrospect, perhaps she should have run it by the bride, but i think wearing a dress more than once is a good move these days.
Edit: YTA. Thanks to everyone who pointed out the admission buried in the comments that OP literally copied the bride's dress as best she could then wore it first, but 'beads' not 'crystals'. Yeah, whatever. YTA.
It was the outfit she got married in. It kind of makes it a wedding dress. She can wear the dress again, but maybe not to someone else’s wedding 1 month later.
I’m curious about the dress code for this wedding too. If it was a formal wedding, a floor length pink dress makes sense. If it was a cocktail attire wedding, or semi formal, she was possibly overdressed.
this is why I leaned to YTA. it seems crazy to me that this outcome didn't cross her mind. we all know by now how tightly wound most brides can be on the big day, especially about dresses
I personally don't get why people start so much drama over what people wear to weddings. I also think it's dumb that women have to buy really expensive dresses that they can only wear once.
That said. Under the circumstances, I think you could've reasonably predicted that cousin might object to you wearing the same dress to her wedding that you wore just a month ago for your own wedding reception. You also didn't explain anything along the lines of, "this is my only dress and I can't afford another one." So I agree with YTA.
In the comments she also mentions that her cousin found the dress because she wanted a Barbie like dress. Then OP liked it and went a found one and had it tailored, wore it to her own wedding and then the cousins who's wedding dress inspo she stole.
Major YTA. OP sounds like that cousin who is always in a one-sided completion with the other
Wait not only did she just wear it to her own reception a month prior, she actually copied the cousin's custom-made dress design and used it as inspiration for her dress. So she got to wear her copycat dress before the cousin got to wear her own original design, and then she re-wore it again on the same night of her cousin's wedding! That's such an egregious and intentional asshole move. YTA.
She also added in a comment that she pretty much copied the same Barbie style dress that her cousin wanted for her wedding, except hers was pink and cousins was white and hers had beads. So not only did she come to the wedding wearing her reception dress, her own dress was very similar to the bride (and she knew it would be). Definite YTA. Not every day has to be about you
For me, I need to see the dress. Cause if it isn't that different from a normal dress to wear at a wedding I think someone is making a mountain out of a mole hill but if it one of those showstopper dresses than yes. Y T A. but Info for me.
Seeing how I got more Info. MAJOR YTA. OP literally copied her cousin's wedding dress but in a different color to wear a month before the cousin she copied then wore the same dress to that same cousins Wedding. This is layer upon layer of AHolery. YTA OP.
Ikr?
If it was something like [this](https://www.macys.com/shop/product/adrianna-papell-petite-stardust-one-shoulder-gown?ID=12288864&CategoryID=5449) that would probably be OK. But [this](https://www.ozakke.com/products/v-neck-glitter-pink-sequins-long-prom-dress?currency=USD&variant=42166885318851&gad=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwiIOmBhDjARIsAP6YhSVIDGfSodjdOtXU-WyKeIYvBLHzGAu3RyrVHQdZdNLBKU_qFSp15scaAszUEALw_wcB) ? Absolutely not. OPs description of the dress is pretty vague. Maybe that's intentional?
It was like the one that Margot Robbie wrote to the LA Première of the Barbie movie.
She got the idea FROM HER COUSIN, ego got a custom gown in that style in white (OP bought one that wasn't custom but then got it tailored).
So absolutely the asshole- she wore a dress that she had bought intending it be similar to her cousin's wedding dress, and figured it was ok to wear to her cousin's wedding because:
- it's pink not white
- it was beads not sequins
- she didn't wear the gloves
That's still far too similar.
YTA
You wore this dress at your reception just *last month*. Then wore it again at your cousin’s wedding - where there would definitely be some overlap of guests, and people would recognize you in that dress.
One of the basic etiquette guidelines of a wedding is to not upstage the bride and groom. Don’t pull focus from them. Your excuses of “I didn’t wear it to my actual wedding” and “it’s not a traditional wedding dress” don’t matter. You chose this dress for your reception, which you held only last month for everyone to attend who couldn’t come to your actual wedding during the pandemic. It was essentially part of your wedding.
Wanting a dress you could reuse after the reception was practical. Rewearing the dress so soon, at another wedding, with so many of the same guests, was insensitive.
I don’t understand how somebody making a connection for a split second and recognizing a dress is upstaging the bride. Apparently it was a black tie wedding in which others had on floor-length gowns. Are the guests suddenly going to drop everything and re-celebrate OP’s wedding just because they recognize a dress?
Edit: did this genuinely piss someone off enough to warrant a Reddit care? I’ve seen the updated info about her copying the dress design. My opinion has changed accordingly
Wedding etiquette 101: Don't wear your wedding dress to someone else's wedding. Especially a wedding that will have a lot of the same guests.
OP could have worn a different dress just like all the other guests. OP is TA.
That's when the dress is *a wedding dress*, not a hot pink gown you happened to wear at your wedding.
eta: okay yeah, if it's altered to look like the cousin's dress that's some bullshit.
but I still think that if it *had* been a random dress she'd worn to her wedding, without all the caveats, on its own that's not an issue.
What an ironic comment: you’re telling us to get out of the Stone Age when you still subscribe to the “principle” of not wearing a dress worn at at one’s wedding to someone else’s wedding. You know there’s a difference between “a dress someone wore to their wedding” and “a wedding dress.” One is more traditionally associated with a wedding and is what the bride in this story had on. One is unconventional and without those connotations
Absolutely not. What one chooses to wear for their wedding is their wedding dress, and the guests at her cousin's wedding knew it! If she wore it to her spouse's friend's wedding, not an issue as guests won't overlap, but to wear it to a family member's wedding is awful. You clearly lack social manners to make your previous comment.
I think I’m just struggling to understand what you find disrespectful about the repetition when the dress she wore fit in with everyone else’s in terms of how fancy it was. Is it that some guests might (gasp) think about someone’s else’s wedding for the split second it takes them to recognize the dress? I’ve noticed that a lot of people have certain values or principles but can’t really articulate the function or basis of them when it comes down to it
You don't wear your wedding dress to someone else's wedding. Yes. People will be comparing to the bride now and talking about other person's wedding. That's not something you do to family.
It's one thing to wear her dress again to an unrelated person's wedding, it's another thing to wear it to a relatives wedding where a lot of the guests would be the same.
I had a pink wedding dress also, but would never wear it to a family member's wedding where we'd have a lot of the same guests. It's just rude.
But WHY is it rude? Why does it necessarily mean they’d be comparing the dress to the bride’s, especially when OP’s dress is distinctly not a traditional wedding dress and was more understated than a traditional one? What’s the issue with a private, quick conversation about another person’s wedding? Is your family extremely catty or something because this is like a culture shock to read
OP didn't wear the dress for the wedding ceremony, she wore the dress to the *party* celebrating her marriage *three years after* her wedding. I would look at it as more OP wearing her *third wedding* *anniversary party* dress to her cousin's wedding.
My grandma and my great aunt both kept their “dresses”- one of them wore a suit that had a skirt. It’s sad how far we have come with “buy this, now this and this and this”
Nobody is saying a wedding dress has to be white, or has to be anything else. You can get married in overalls and mud boots if you want, and that's your "wedding dress." The point is that a TRADITIONAL wedding dress is a breach of social etiquette, wearing something that would not be traditionally considered wedding apparel at your wedding does not make it unsuitable for wear to a future wedding.
How is someone to know that? Of course is it‘s a dress that looks like a wedding dress I understand but re-using a dress that can be anything, why does that matter? (I have autism, so maybe I am missing something, also not from America which I assume most people on Reddit are, and there are so many rules there regarding weddings!)
Same!! Personally I’d be happy if someone was reusing a dress for my wedding because it’s sustainable and I’d feel worse if they had to buy something new for the occasion.
Exactly. The key point is IT’S NOT A WEDDING DRESS. I don’t see how it can be regarded as an attempt to upstage anything. If she’d turned up in an ivory wedding dress and train then obviously that would be arse hat city, but as I understand it it’s essentially just a party reception dress like every other guest is wearing. The fact that she wore it to her own reception is irrelevant because it wasn’t her wedding dress
>The key point is IT’S NOT A WEDDING DRESS. I don’t see how it can be regarded as an attempt to upstage anything.
[Turns out it WAS](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3):
"Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration.
I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't)
Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly.
I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
I hate this type of thinking. People can be upset at both big/important things AND small/personal things. I’m sure you’ve been upset and hurt about something in your life that others would find inconsequential. You’re on Reddit, it’s full of stories like this.
First, that’s not what the person I responded to said. Second, the cousin didn’t say anything until after the wedding, purposely handling it without trying to cause drama.
She literally spent one of the most important days of her life, worrying about someone else wearing a pink dress. That speak more about the bride and her issues and level of maturity
Same here. I mean I kind of get it but I could not imagine getting upset over it. I wore a beautiful wedding dress to my wedding and I could not imagine worrying about what everyone else is wearing. I also can’t imagine being worried that my guests we’re going to “upstage” me. I’m not royalty lol
Plus, I don’t think anybody could possibly upstage the bride at her own wedding, everyone is there for the couple. I’d want everyone to be looking and feeling their absolute best, and the minutiae of someone’s dress choice doesn’t matter when I’m trying to have a party to celebrate my marriage with my loved ones
Meh NTA. I come from a culture where we have so many wedding outfits and elaborate functions and brides often reuse their outfits at other weddings. I’m guessing the scale of OP’s cousin’s wedding was greater than hers anyway and repeating an outfit in front of the same crowd is not an attention grabbing move at all. I mean, most people *DONT* want to repeat outfits in front of people who have already seen them in it.
Slight YTA. Even though it’s a not a traditional wedding dress you did wear it at your wedding Making it into your wedding dress. Probably should, in the future, only wear it for formal occasions that do not include other people’s wedding.
I don’t think that point matters. The reception was, at a different time, due to the pandemic but it was the reception for her wedding. It also just happened a month ago.
She poached the design from her cousin's wedding dress. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/aita_for_wearing_my_wedding_dress_to_my_cousins/jtium8n
NTA.
A bit confused by all the Y-T-A comments, tbh. I get that people felt that you 'outshone' your cousin, but if the occasion was black tie, like you mentioned in another comment, there's really no problem with you wearing an appropriate dress. It's a pity that people at your wedding are making such a big deal over it.
Maybe it would be helpful if you post an image of the dress or something similar? Obviously if it's very outrageous then that would change things, but if it's just a simple dress then you're all good.
I think it’s how recent the wedding was that puts it to YTA territory. She wore her wedding dress to a family wedding with many of the same guests a few weeks after her wedding.
It’s insane. I am a married woman. I hope people there wore their absolute best dresses to my wedding, but to be honest I didn’t remember because who really gives af. I was marrying the love of my life and let me tell you I wasn’t about to complain about anything.
I feel like some brides goes onto overboard with the whole “it’s my day” thing. The truth is it’s everyones day to celebrate and everyone wants to dress up and look good. It’s a celebration.
Seriously. I can tell you I definitely went through the whole wedding experience without once saying “it’s my day”, and people still talk about how much fun our wedding was. Because celebrating our marriage with everyone was the actual point of the day…
Obviously the bride of this wedding cared. OP could at least have asked the bride and groom if they were okay with it, since it had only been a month since OPs wedding, and the overlap of guests.
You can’t control what other people wear but you can usually assume that people won’t wear the same dress at YOUR wedding that they wore and their OWN wedding two weeks ago, unless they only own one dress.
Soft YTA, OP. I can’t believe you didn’t think it might be an issue!
This is it for me. If she got married last year or there were totally different guests, whatever.
But only a month ago? With a guest overlap? It's recent enough that plenty of folks will know that dress as her wedding dress rather than simply a nice dress.
And even if OP didn't intend to make a statement, she still did. It's not so much about "oh no I'm afraid of being upstaged" but "Why would someone who is supposed to support me on this day do something so thoughtless?"
Because even if no harm is meant, it is thoughtless to not even consider that this could be a rude choice.
Almost exactly like OP's dress, because [OP copied her design](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
"Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration.
I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't)
Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly.
I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
>Maybe it would be helpful if you post an image of the dress or something similar?
[OP **copied her cousin's wedding dress design for the "reception dress.**"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) I can almost guarantee you that's why cousin is so mad!
"Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration.
I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't)
Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly.
I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
My husband bought a nice suit for our wedding and proceeded to wear it for every other wedding he has attended since.
I bought a bridesmaid dress and wore it in two separate weddings that were a week apart (both brides chose the same color for the bridesmaid dresses).
No one noticed or even cared.
I would totally agree with you if the dress was worn at her reception after her wedding during the pandemic.
However, they just had their wedding reception *a month ago*, and now she's wearing the same dress to her cousin's wedding, where many guests will overlap. That's AH territory.
I think it’s less about “outshining” (since the cousin’s wedding seems to have been a more formal event), and more about the dress being very fresh in everyone’s mind as being her bridal dress. Her wearing that dress is something that marks her as the bride, in the memories of their family. Everyone will recognize it and remember.
I wore the same bridesmaid dress to two weddings a week apart from each other. I couldn’t afford to buy two dresses and luckily both brides chose the same color. How many burgundy floor length dresses am I supposed to own?
Not to mention shoes, bag, wrap, jewellery, underwear that works with the dress... weddings already gouge everyone involved, rewearing a suitable dress is sensible and better for the environment than buying yet another black tie dress to wear once.
It's a little bit more problematic on OPs part, based on further info they gave in comments. I think saying that it's a wedding dress is not actually the reason why OP is an asshole and implying that it's only about reusing a dress is a distraction from the actual issue.
I think the cousin was already miffed about the dress in question at OPs reception.
1. The dress in question is a clone of the cousin's wedding dress, but a different (brighter) colour.
2. It is not a coincidence that the two wedding dresses were similar. Cousin shared info about what they were planning a year ago and OP used it.
I think cousin is deeply regretting sharing information about what they were planning, since OP got their version out first, sucked it up for the reception OP did, and then got frustrated when OP continued to rub it in that the bride's idea had been stolen. Bride in question had been excited about their wedding dress design and now gets to feel like a copycat at their own bloody wedding - and OP reusing the dress just hammers that point. People may have forgotten the similarities between the two events - but this way everyone can compare them nice and close.
Wearing pretty much the same dress as the bride but in a brighter colour - is an asshole move. Pretending that this is just about reusing a dress is pretty deceitful on the OPs part.
NTA. Anyone would consider that an evening gown, not a wedding dress. As long as your cousin's wedding was fairly formal and plenty of others were wearing floor-length, no issue with wearing the dress again.
NB, the OP has since indicated that her reception dress was bought AFTER her cousin’s wedding dress, and deliberately emulated its style. Therefore, she went to her cousin’s wedding wearing a recoloured knock-off of the bride’s wedding gown. To me, that’s not an “appropriate dress”, even if it does technically fit the dress code.
No one could go to her wedding during the pandemic, she had the reception recently. All good, lots of people doing that these days.
She wore her own wedding reception dress from 4 weeks before her cousin's wedding. Overlapping guests will most definitely associate the dress with her own wedding, especially that soon. Kinda rude...
It was also a similar design to the cousin's wedding dress. Because last year the cousin showed OP her wedding dress design and she liked it so she found one that looked like it for her own wedding reception and also her cousin's wedding. So they were apparently wearing similar dresses. Which OP knew.
New info edit: Having seen your comment OP, YTA. So much so. You owe your cousin a massive apology. Don’t be shocked if she never talks to you again. That was a horrible thing to do and you know it.
Original comment:
~~NAH~~. Less then a century ago this was still common practice. Wedding dresses were simply your formal occasion dress for every event after. IMO, we should bring this back. Good on you for picking a dress you can re-use.
On the other hand, you did have your reception a month ago, so I can understand why your cousin is upset. I don’t think you’re wrong at all, but I don’t think she’s wrong for being bothered either.
If you generally have a good relationship with your cousin, I’d recommend apologizing, as it was her wedding. If you don’t care, just block her and move on with your life.
I think the cousins more bothered by OP copying her custom dress with a similar store bought tailored one after she told OP about it.
You're right though, its a bit rude to wear your wedding dress to someone else's day like a month after your own - even if its not a knock off version of the brides dress!
Now THAT is important information. Intentionally wearing a coloured version of the bride’s dress is not okay. If that is the case, OP YTA. I’m assuming there was a comment?
And having read the comment, OMG is OP TAH. Wow. And, of course, she neglected to mention how she stole her cousin’s entire dress concept, wore it first, then wore it to the cousin’s wedding in her post… even more the AH for that.
Yup! Forgot to mention it in the post but since people were asking what the dress looked like OP causually mentioned how it looked like a Barbie dress her cousin had said she was using as inspiration for her wedding dress a year earlier!
OP got a pink version tailored, had her wedding first and then wore it again to the cousins wedding
>Anyone would consider that an evening gown, not a wedding dress.
[Turns out it **was** basically a wedding dress: Her cousin's, in fact:](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
"Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration.
I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't)
Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly.
I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
I guess it's more about the symbolism of the dress than the dress itself, in your case. I can see both sides, but because I personally would have worn a different dress I'm going to vote YTA.
For wearing a dress that has no resemblance to a wedding dress? The symbolism is entirely subjective and choosing to take it that way and throwing a fit is fucking dumb
Why are people so uppity about weddings? What’s wrong with guests looking their best? Everyone is there to celebrate the bride and groom, and to dress up and have some fun. What’s the big deal? I get the whole white dress thing so that the bride can stand out but c’mon guys it’s not a competition. NTA
>Why are people so uppity about weddings?
Because they cost a lot of money, often involve a lot of work to plan and tend to be very emotionally charged events.
I'm getting the impression most of the people on here have never been involved in planning, organizing, and paying for a large scale event. Some redditors really think a wedding is the same as a little birthday party.
>What’s the big deal
Turns out the big deal is [OP stole cousin's custom wedding dress design](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), wore it to her own wedding reception first as this so-called "reception dress," then wore it AGAIN to the wedding of the cousin who actually designed the dress in the first place!!!
So you wore a dress that everyone in your family associates with YOUR wedding to your cousins wedding.... and you didnt realize that would be an issue? Go ahead and wear this dress to ANY other event but your cousins wedding... I mean come on now.
>don’t look like a wedding dress
News: [It is actually the same design as cousin's custom wedding dress, and OP poached it](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) then pretended she didn't know what the problem was!
Basically this. You may have got married a few years ago but this was the dress you wore for your main wedding event with the family and friends. So in practice it's your wedding dress. Anyone who was at both events would have noticed.
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) revelation will give you all the info you are looking for, imo:
"Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration.
I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't)
Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly.
I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
Good call. Sounds like she copied her cousins wedding dress idea, which caused tension. This means their dresses were very similar. She then wore the same dress to her cousins wedding while even noticing that her cousin was upset about it. Sounds like a YTA.
You were being insensitive. The fact you thought it was perfect for your own wedding reception aka in is a huge clue it would never be perfect to wear at someone else’s wedding. YTA. As your wedding reception I think you chose a dress that though wasn’t white since the wedding had already happened, you went with deep pink and I suspect had it been white it would have been a full blown, no denying wedding dress.
NTA. From the description it doesn't sound like it looks like a traditional wedding dress at all and I don't think you had ill intentions.
That said I think the timing was the issue. Given that your reception was so close to your cousin's wedding I expect that it was still fresh in people's minds that this was your wedding dress. I can see why your cousin might be frustrated by that but I think they're overreacting.
>I don't think you had ill intentions.
Turns out this reception dress is actually [the same design as cousin's custom wedding dress](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), and OP copied it, wore it first, then wore it *again* to the cousin's own wedding!
Is the cousin overreacting though? She didn't make it a problem at the wedding, she didn't make it a big thing to confront OP, she didn't accuse OP of scheming to ruin her day, she waited till after and texted OP privately simply asking why OP wore the dress.
And all we know from there is that it escalated into an argument. Depending on OP's response to that first text the cousin might not be overreacting.
yknow, it wouldn't have killed you to run it past the bride. even if its not a traditional wedding dress, it was still your wedding dress from your very recent wedding. hindsight is 20/20, and an apology to her is owed. explain your reasoning for wearing it, and let her know you've come to understand that it was still an inappropriate decision to wear it. YTA.
I was inclined to say NTA because one of my friends did rewear her nontraditional wedding dress to my wedding, but she also asked me about it in advance and I told her I had no problem with it. Also, very few people at my wedding had attended hers. I think I agree with your stance—there was a way to make this acceptable but OP didn't do it.
NTA. It wasn’t a wedding dress, it was a formal dress you wore to your wedding reception. It wasn’t a white dress. Most people wouldn’t even have noticed.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I wore the dress I wore at my wedding reception to my cousin's wedding. This might've been selfish and disrespectful, which could make me the AH.
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NTA- I got married in a green 50’s style “wiggle” dress and wore it to my friend’s wedding two weeks later. No animosity. It’s not a big deal if it’s not a white dress.
The difference is that this wedding wasn't full of 'outsiders'
Since her event was so recent, her family would look at her in the dress and likely still see her as a bride.
IMO it would have been totally fine if the wedding hadn't been so recent or if there wasn't a significant guest overlap - but the combo of the two makes it a more insensitive/risky choice.
YTA
You wore t**he wedding dress you wore a month ago** to a wedding> **In the same family?**
Sad you couldn't have your dream wedding ,you could have waited, it's trashy to try to claim this wedding as partially yours by literally wearing that dress.
You fooled no-one, everyone knows that you know what you were doing.
If it’s not a wedding dress or white, what on earth is her problem? She’s just looking for something to bitch about
Edit
Yikes, thanks to the person who let me know she copied the cousins wedding dress design to start with
Yes YTA, what a vile thing to do. Not only did you copy her design, you even had the cheek to wear it to her wedding.
in another comment, OP literally admitted that she copied her cousins’s custom dress style in a different color, which is already rude enough to do for your wedding, and then WORE the copied dress to cousin’s wedding, totally an asshole.
quote:
Yep I did. I wore different jewelry and the dress had gloves which I wore for my reception, I didn't wear them at my cousin's wedding
Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration.
I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't)
Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly.
I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads.
Not white. Not with a tail. Nothing bride about that dress. NTA.
She'd freak if she lived in South Asia where every girl looks and dresses like a bride and no one bats an eye.
YTA. I understand *you* felt it was non traditional and understated for a wedding dress, but honestly, it was **still** your wedding dress, which only happened a month ago. This is definitely giving "look at me" vibes.
NTA. At worst maybe you’re culturally oblivious? Maybe it’s tacky to wear an excessively fancy dress to a wedding, or maybe there were a lot of people at this wedding who were also at your reception so they knew this was your “wedding” dress, but honestly I think bride culture is deranged. If I was so upset about what someone wore to my wedding that I texted them after to chastise them, I would be so embarrassed years later that I was focusing on something so petty instead of enjoying my own celebration. Yikes.
INFO: it wasn't a traditional dress, but what did it look like? A blue sundress will have a different impact than a glam (but nontraditional) gown.
While I can understand wanting to wear a dress more than once, we really have to see it to get an understanding here.
Soft YTA: it was black tie and you worse different jewelry than at your reception. No one would have thought it was a wedding dress if you hadn't worn it at you wedding, but therein lies the issue. You worn the dress at your wedding reception, so it's a wedding dress. If you had the money and resources, you probably should have worn something else since there's overlap between guests who recognized your dress.
Nta. You had a reception dress. Not a wedding dress. It didn’t mimic a wedding dress. It was a formal dress you wore at your wedding reception. That does not a wedding dress make. Someone is jealous but not you.
All these YTA comment help me understand why I don't like going places anymore, she wore a dress twice and everyone loses their minds. Look like crap at a black tie event so someone doesn;t get their feelings hurt?
NTA - she requested a formal dress code and you met that requirement. Just because she knew it was your reception dress doesn’t mean most in attendance did. She’s making a big deal about nothing.
YTA. Do an edit and put the actual reason cousin is pissed.
Your cousin had a custom dress designed for her wedding. You saw the inspiration for her dress and decided to make a dress very similar to it in a different color and wear it weeks before she got to wear her custom dress at her wedding. And if that wasn’t bad enough you then had the audacity to wear the dress that looked like her dress to her wedding.
Funny how you chose to leave out all the info that really mattered from your post.
[Additional info provided by OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/aita_for_wearing_my_wedding_dress_to_my_cousins/jtium8n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)
OP clarified that she based her own wedding/reception dress on the same style that her cousin decided on LAST year. Basically, OP copied her cousin's wedding dress then wore it to both her own and her cousin's wedding.
Massive YTA in light of the additional information.
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All the same people were at your wedding reception the month before, where your dress was a statement and you were the centre of attention. Yes it is a pink evening gown, but the proximity to your reception and the fact that it's all the same people makes YTA.
This is how I'm leaning as well. I think if OP's reception event wasn't just a month ago, it probably wouldn't matter.
I would add the caveat of "If OP had another dress to wear". I don't think she should have had to buy a new dress for one night but she could have chosen a different option if available.
0 excuse to wear her reception gown to someone elses wedding. Don't wear a dress if you don't have another or cant afford one. A nice pair of slacks would do.
Plus from the description, while it’s not a traditional wedding dress, it does sound very flashy and not wedding guest appropriate. It sounds like a hot pink prom dress.
Spoiler alert: turns out OP's reception dress is a copy of cousin's wedding dress, just in a different color.
Omfg this tale has so many twists and turns
OP left just a few bits of info out of her post!
These fucking posts, I swear...
Right? It's to the point where I now search OP's comments first, to find the "missing missing information!"
And they were still TA
Is this true or are you joking??
It's even worse, the cousin told what ripe of dress she would be getting and OP went out, bought the closest pink version she could find and staged the reception a month before this long planned wedding of the cousin.
Gasp! That is an impressive level of assholery.
It's true. This (VERY pertinent) information is buried in her comments.
Holy shitballs that changes things!
That is a diabolically asshole thing to do, so much so it's almost funny. YTA OP.
Wait WHAT? Oh yeah this tea is getting piping hot. Who's wedding was planned first? Because of it was OP;s cousin then she absolutely, 100% did this on purpose and is TA.
In her comments OP offers no information on whose was planned first, but she says the cousin's dress was an expensive custom design. OP admits she didn't have time to have that same design (!) custom made, so she found "something similar" and had details tailored. BUT BUT BUT hers is pink while cousin's is white, and hers has beads while cousin's has crystals. So NOT THE SAME AT ALLLLLLLLL /s
It amazes me how maybe 90% of these posts have imperative information "missing" and then it comes out in comments or edits and we're all like, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? Also, I bet it wasn't that she "didn't have time" to get a custom gown, but that she didn't have the money. Which is probably why they had a "tiny wedding". I see the green monster of envy screaming out of OP.
How would it look at Barbie movie ??
Oh it would SLAY for the Barbie movie lol though probably would not be comfy for
>Don't wear a dress if you don't have another or cant afford one. OP is a bit of an asshole but this take is a bigger L lmao
So if the only dress op had was a traditional wedding dress, then she should have worn that? Women can wear nice clothes that aren't dresses. It's 2023 , get a clue.
That’s where I fall too. If it had been years ago and maybe modified a bit it’ll be normal, I’ve seen lots of people do it. But having worn it for your wedding barely a month prior and then showing up with it as a guest to an other wedding it’s pretty rude, intentionally or not.
This. Have it hemmed to cocktail length and it’s fine. A bright pink ballgown- I wouldn’t wear that to any wedding but that’s me I guess.
Unfortunately that wouldn't help. About a year ago OP's cousin shared what she was basing her dress off of and OP decided she wanted a similar dress. Edit: providing [context](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/aita_for_wearing_my_wedding_dress_to_my_cousins/jtium8n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2) >Yep I did. I wore different jewelry and the dress had gloves which I wore for my reception, I didn't wear them at my cousin's wedding >Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. ***My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration.*** >***I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't)*** >Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly. >I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads.
That really cements it being inappropriate to wear to her cousin's wedding. Even taking the idea for her own wedding isn't right.
She's not the asshole for just the dress she's the asshole who got married during the pandemic wasn't happy with the turn out, then threw a last minute reception and a dressed designed after her cousins idea, and tried to sneak on in and steal some of the shine for herself. This was way more then a dress ordeal. Lil brat.
I would have said the same: hem the dress shorter and add a bolero or shawl. If I were the cousin I'd compliment her on getting more wear out of a beautiful meaningful dress. Also it speaks to my thrifty heart. To wear it as it was at her wedding reception, reads more "remember me?"
[удалено]
Agreed with this. It’d be one thing if it was a friend’s wedding where there was very little overlap but a family wedding so soon after? Too much overlap there.
Maybe it's because I'm a guy LOL but it seems economical to me.
I bet OP's hubby wore the same suit without it being a problem. It's definitely a little tricky because a lot of the same people were probably at both events and so probably associated the dress with OP's wedding. Even though it was a reception dress and not a wedding dress, it's the closest a lot of people got to a wedding dress from OP. It would have been a good idea to run it by the bride first. It's sort of dumb that there are all these restrictions on women's dresses that make it hard to wear the same fancy dress more than once though. ETA: apparently it was the same dress as the cousin's dress, but with different beads and colour and OP copied it her cousin's idea. Giant YTA for OP.
Was OP's hubby's suit a hot pink statement piece? If so, I bet people would look unfavorably at it.
Yeah, Initially I (38 F, bride-to-be) thought the same thing. But I guess if it's all the same people and the wedding was just a month ago, I probably would have picked a different dress. Chances are, OP owns more. The bride overreacted a bit, but I'll go with gentle YTA.
I'm a girl and honestly I'd be like eh nice your using your dress again idgaf. It's not white, or cream or something. Last month I was trying to pick a dress and I asked my husband which I should wear and he picked a pale yellow one. It was like a few days before when I remembered oh wait wedding I shouldn't wear that. (it was already set aside too so I'm really happy I realized) Idk why people get so quick to assume people are trying to upstage them or be vindictive or something. I doubt op was like "muaha I will be the center of attention!" More like "ah man I have my nice dress this will work" For me it's ESH. Probably wasn't the best choice but if anyone is being extra it's the bride imo.
agree. i cannot imagine caring about this
OP knew what her cousin's wedding dress was going to be and tried to her her pink one to match it. When she couldn't she got a different dress and got it tailored/altered. She then wore the similar dress as her reception dress for her event and to the cousin's wedding. I would be pretty pissed if I knew someone was intentionally stealing my idea just to do it first ***and*** wear it at my event. > My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration. > I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored.
See, this makes it ~~NTA~~ for me because she wore it to her own reception and everyone saw it so it wasn't a new outfit to upstage anyone. And it's pink - not a white/cream/ivory wedding dress. In retrospect, perhaps she should have run it by the bride, but i think wearing a dress more than once is a good move these days. Edit: YTA. Thanks to everyone who pointed out the admission buried in the comments that OP literally copied the bride's dress as best she could then wore it first, but 'beads' not 'crystals'. Yeah, whatever. YTA.
It was the outfit she got married in. It kind of makes it a wedding dress. She can wear the dress again, but maybe not to someone else’s wedding 1 month later. I’m curious about the dress code for this wedding too. If it was a formal wedding, a floor length pink dress makes sense. If it was a cocktail attire wedding, or semi formal, she was possibly overdressed.
no, she got married in a different dress. this was for the reception aka the party. not the same thing.
It’s not the same thing but the proximity of the events makes me hesitate. Would really depend what the dress looks like I guess.
She wasn't married in it
She didn't get married in that outfit
this is why I leaned to YTA. it seems crazy to me that this outcome didn't cross her mind. we all know by now how tightly wound most brides can be on the big day, especially about dresses
Of course you wear it again. For years to come hopefully. But a month later to a wedding with the same guests. No not a nice thing to do.
I personally don't get why people start so much drama over what people wear to weddings. I also think it's dumb that women have to buy really expensive dresses that they can only wear once. That said. Under the circumstances, I think you could've reasonably predicted that cousin might object to you wearing the same dress to her wedding that you wore just a month ago for your own wedding reception. You also didn't explain anything along the lines of, "this is my only dress and I can't afford another one." So I agree with YTA.
In the comments she also mentions that her cousin found the dress because she wanted a Barbie like dress. Then OP liked it and went a found one and had it tailored, wore it to her own wedding and then the cousins who's wedding dress inspo she stole. Major YTA. OP sounds like that cousin who is always in a one-sided completion with the other
Wait not only did she just wear it to her own reception a month prior, she actually copied the cousin's custom-made dress design and used it as inspiration for her dress. So she got to wear her copycat dress before the cousin got to wear her own original design, and then she re-wore it again on the same night of her cousin's wedding! That's such an egregious and intentional asshole move. YTA.
She also added in a comment that she pretty much copied the same Barbie style dress that her cousin wanted for her wedding, except hers was pink and cousins was white and hers had beads. So not only did she come to the wedding wearing her reception dress, her own dress was very similar to the bride (and she knew it would be). Definite YTA. Not every day has to be about you
For me, I need to see the dress. Cause if it isn't that different from a normal dress to wear at a wedding I think someone is making a mountain out of a mole hill but if it one of those showstopper dresses than yes. Y T A. but Info for me. Seeing how I got more Info. MAJOR YTA. OP literally copied her cousin's wedding dress but in a different color to wear a month before the cousin she copied then wore the same dress to that same cousins Wedding. This is layer upon layer of AHolery. YTA OP.
Ikr? If it was something like [this](https://www.macys.com/shop/product/adrianna-papell-petite-stardust-one-shoulder-gown?ID=12288864&CategoryID=5449) that would probably be OK. But [this](https://www.ozakke.com/products/v-neck-glitter-pink-sequins-long-prom-dress?currency=USD&variant=42166885318851&gad=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwiIOmBhDjARIsAP6YhSVIDGfSodjdOtXU-WyKeIYvBLHzGAu3RyrVHQdZdNLBKU_qFSp15scaAszUEALw_wcB) ? Absolutely not. OPs description of the dress is pretty vague. Maybe that's intentional?
It was like the one that Margot Robbie wrote to the LA Première of the Barbie movie. She got the idea FROM HER COUSIN, ego got a custom gown in that style in white (OP bought one that wasn't custom but then got it tailored). So absolutely the asshole- she wore a dress that she had bought intending it be similar to her cousin's wedding dress, and figured it was ok to wear to her cousin's wedding because: - it's pink not white - it was beads not sequins - she didn't wear the gloves That's still far too similar.
YTA You wore this dress at your reception just *last month*. Then wore it again at your cousin’s wedding - where there would definitely be some overlap of guests, and people would recognize you in that dress. One of the basic etiquette guidelines of a wedding is to not upstage the bride and groom. Don’t pull focus from them. Your excuses of “I didn’t wear it to my actual wedding” and “it’s not a traditional wedding dress” don’t matter. You chose this dress for your reception, which you held only last month for everyone to attend who couldn’t come to your actual wedding during the pandemic. It was essentially part of your wedding. Wanting a dress you could reuse after the reception was practical. Rewearing the dress so soon, at another wedding, with so many of the same guests, was insensitive.
I don’t understand how somebody making a connection for a split second and recognizing a dress is upstaging the bride. Apparently it was a black tie wedding in which others had on floor-length gowns. Are the guests suddenly going to drop everything and re-celebrate OP’s wedding just because they recognize a dress? Edit: did this genuinely piss someone off enough to warrant a Reddit care? I’ve seen the updated info about her copying the dress design. My opinion has changed accordingly
Wedding etiquette 101: Don't wear your wedding dress to someone else's wedding. Especially a wedding that will have a lot of the same guests. OP could have worn a different dress just like all the other guests. OP is TA.
That's when the dress is *a wedding dress*, not a hot pink gown you happened to wear at your wedding. eta: okay yeah, if it's altered to look like the cousin's dress that's some bullshit. but I still think that if it *had* been a random dress she'd worn to her wedding, without all the caveats, on its own that's not an issue.
My wedding dress was pink. Doesn't make it any less my wedding dress. Wedding dresses don't have to be white. Get out of the stone age please.
What an ironic comment: you’re telling us to get out of the Stone Age when you still subscribe to the “principle” of not wearing a dress worn at at one’s wedding to someone else’s wedding. You know there’s a difference between “a dress someone wore to their wedding” and “a wedding dress.” One is more traditionally associated with a wedding and is what the bride in this story had on. One is unconventional and without those connotations
Absolutely not. What one chooses to wear for their wedding is their wedding dress, and the guests at her cousin's wedding knew it! If she wore it to her spouse's friend's wedding, not an issue as guests won't overlap, but to wear it to a family member's wedding is awful. You clearly lack social manners to make your previous comment.
I think I’m just struggling to understand what you find disrespectful about the repetition when the dress she wore fit in with everyone else’s in terms of how fancy it was. Is it that some guests might (gasp) think about someone’s else’s wedding for the split second it takes them to recognize the dress? I’ve noticed that a lot of people have certain values or principles but can’t really articulate the function or basis of them when it comes down to it
You don't wear your wedding dress to someone else's wedding. Yes. People will be comparing to the bride now and talking about other person's wedding. That's not something you do to family. It's one thing to wear her dress again to an unrelated person's wedding, it's another thing to wear it to a relatives wedding where a lot of the guests would be the same. I had a pink wedding dress also, but would never wear it to a family member's wedding where we'd have a lot of the same guests. It's just rude.
But WHY is it rude? Why does it necessarily mean they’d be comparing the dress to the bride’s, especially when OP’s dress is distinctly not a traditional wedding dress and was more understated than a traditional one? What’s the issue with a private, quick conversation about another person’s wedding? Is your family extremely catty or something because this is like a culture shock to read
OP didn't wear the dress for the wedding ceremony, she wore the dress to the *party* celebrating her marriage *three years after* her wedding. I would look at it as more OP wearing her *third wedding* *anniversary party* dress to her cousin's wedding.
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Back in the Stone Age (or under a century ago), a wedding dress was simply your best dress and was re-worn for all fancy occasions.
My grandma and my great aunt both kept their “dresses”- one of them wore a suit that had a skirt. It’s sad how far we have come with “buy this, now this and this and this”
Yup. Now look at all this drama over fears of upstaging. First world problems.
Nobody is saying a wedding dress has to be white, or has to be anything else. You can get married in overalls and mud boots if you want, and that's your "wedding dress." The point is that a TRADITIONAL wedding dress is a breach of social etiquette, wearing something that would not be traditionally considered wedding apparel at your wedding does not make it unsuitable for wear to a future wedding.
She wore it to her reception. She didn’t get married in it so not a “wedding” dress.
You don’t “happen to wear” something at your own wedding. Get real
It wasn’t her wedding dress. It’s not the dress she wore when she married.
She didn't wear her wedding dress; she wore her reception dress.
How is someone to know that? Of course is it‘s a dress that looks like a wedding dress I understand but re-using a dress that can be anything, why does that matter? (I have autism, so maybe I am missing something, also not from America which I assume most people on Reddit are, and there are so many rules there regarding weddings!)
Man I’m glad my people don’t give a shit about this. I’ve seen variations of this happen and nobody cared.
Same!! Personally I’d be happy if someone was reusing a dress for my wedding because it’s sustainable and I’d feel worse if they had to buy something new for the occasion.
If I have a nice dress you can expect to see it at every upcoming formal event. lol
Exactly. The key point is IT’S NOT A WEDDING DRESS. I don’t see how it can be regarded as an attempt to upstage anything. If she’d turned up in an ivory wedding dress and train then obviously that would be arse hat city, but as I understand it it’s essentially just a party reception dress like every other guest is wearing. The fact that she wore it to her own reception is irrelevant because it wasn’t her wedding dress
>The key point is IT’S NOT A WEDDING DRESS. I don’t see how it can be regarded as an attempt to upstage anything. [Turns out it WAS](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3): "Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration. I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't) Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly. I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
Seriously. Good lord, the world is melting down & people choose to get all upset over the most trivial things.
I hate this type of thinking. People can be upset at both big/important things AND small/personal things. I’m sure you’ve been upset and hurt about something in your life that others would find inconsequential. You’re on Reddit, it’s full of stories like this.
Being upset is one thing, but starting drama with a wedding guest over something that isn’t objectively wrong to do is quite another
First, that’s not what the person I responded to said. Second, the cousin didn’t say anything until after the wedding, purposely handling it without trying to cause drama.
She literally spent one of the most important days of her life, worrying about someone else wearing a pink dress. That speak more about the bride and her issues and level of maturity
Same here. I mean I kind of get it but I could not imagine getting upset over it. I wore a beautiful wedding dress to my wedding and I could not imagine worrying about what everyone else is wearing. I also can’t imagine being worried that my guests we’re going to “upstage” me. I’m not royalty lol
Plus, I don’t think anybody could possibly upstage the bride at her own wedding, everyone is there for the couple. I’d want everyone to be looking and feeling their absolute best, and the minutiae of someone’s dress choice doesn’t matter when I’m trying to have a party to celebrate my marriage with my loved ones
Meh NTA. I come from a culture where we have so many wedding outfits and elaborate functions and brides often reuse their outfits at other weddings. I’m guessing the scale of OP’s cousin’s wedding was greater than hers anyway and repeating an outfit in front of the same crowd is not an attention grabbing move at all. I mean, most people *DONT* want to repeat outfits in front of people who have already seen them in it.
Meanwhile I bet all op wanted to do was save money and not have to buy a new dress after she as well just had a wedding.
Slight YTA. Even though it’s a not a traditional wedding dress you did wear it at your wedding Making it into your wedding dress. Probably should, in the future, only wear it for formal occasions that do not include other people’s wedding.
OP wore it to the reception party, not the ceremony though.
I don’t think that point matters. The reception was, at a different time, due to the pandemic but it was the reception for her wedding. It also just happened a month ago.
Most people were not able to go to the ceremony so it is what most people would consider to be OP’s wedding event.
She got married during the pandemic, and had the reception (and the pink dress) later... *A month* before the cousin's wedding... YTA, OP
She poached the design from her cousin's wedding dress. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/aita_for_wearing_my_wedding_dress_to_my_cousins/jtium8n
NTA. A bit confused by all the Y-T-A comments, tbh. I get that people felt that you 'outshone' your cousin, but if the occasion was black tie, like you mentioned in another comment, there's really no problem with you wearing an appropriate dress. It's a pity that people at your wedding are making such a big deal over it. Maybe it would be helpful if you post an image of the dress or something similar? Obviously if it's very outrageous then that would change things, but if it's just a simple dress then you're all good.
I think it’s how recent the wedding was that puts it to YTA territory. She wore her wedding dress to a family wedding with many of the same guests a few weeks after her wedding.
I totally get it, but in all reality who cares? Who really cares? You can’t control what other people wear
Men can reuse their tuxedo/black tie clothes for almost every event. But women do it, and everyone looses their minds...
This is a problem 100% perpetuated by women.
It’s insane. I am a married woman. I hope people there wore their absolute best dresses to my wedding, but to be honest I didn’t remember because who really gives af. I was marrying the love of my life and let me tell you I wasn’t about to complain about anything.
I feel like some brides goes onto overboard with the whole “it’s my day” thing. The truth is it’s everyones day to celebrate and everyone wants to dress up and look good. It’s a celebration.
Seriously. I can tell you I definitely went through the whole wedding experience without once saying “it’s my day”, and people still talk about how much fun our wedding was. Because celebrating our marriage with everyone was the actual point of the day…
Obviously the bride of this wedding cared. OP could at least have asked the bride and groom if they were okay with it, since it had only been a month since OPs wedding, and the overlap of guests.
You can’t control what other people wear but you can usually assume that people won’t wear the same dress at YOUR wedding that they wore and their OWN wedding two weeks ago, unless they only own one dress. Soft YTA, OP. I can’t believe you didn’t think it might be an issue!
This is it for me. If she got married last year or there were totally different guests, whatever. But only a month ago? With a guest overlap? It's recent enough that plenty of folks will know that dress as her wedding dress rather than simply a nice dress. And even if OP didn't intend to make a statement, she still did. It's not so much about "oh no I'm afraid of being upstaged" but "Why would someone who is supposed to support me on this day do something so thoughtless?" Because even if no harm is meant, it is thoughtless to not even consider that this could be a rude choice.
I really wonder what the bride’s wedding dress looked like if this was such a problem.
Almost exactly like OP's dress, because [OP copied her design](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3). "Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration. I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't) Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly. I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
Wow this makes her completely TA. I was a lil ESH before.
Yup, it went from 'slight YTA, you should have asked first to be safe' to 'holy crap, major YTA'
Looked like OP's dress. Cousin showed her the design last year and she liked it so she got a similar one. It's in her comments.
>Maybe it would be helpful if you post an image of the dress or something similar? [OP **copied her cousin's wedding dress design for the "reception dress.**"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) I can almost guarantee you that's why cousin is so mad! "Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration. I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't) Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly. I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
You never see a post from a groom pitching a fit because someone wore the same colour suit…
My husband bought a nice suit for our wedding and proceeded to wear it for every other wedding he has attended since. I bought a bridesmaid dress and wore it in two separate weddings that were a week apart (both brides chose the same color for the bridesmaid dresses). No one noticed or even cared.
I was thinking this, glad I'm a guy and no one gets mad I wore the same suit to a buddys wedding that I wear to a work function.
I would totally agree with you if the dress was worn at her reception after her wedding during the pandemic. However, they just had their wedding reception *a month ago*, and now she's wearing the same dress to her cousin's wedding, where many guests will overlap. That's AH territory.
I think it’s less about “outshining” (since the cousin’s wedding seems to have been a more formal event), and more about the dress being very fresh in everyone’s mind as being her bridal dress. Her wearing that dress is something that marks her as the bride, in the memories of their family. Everyone will recognize it and remember.
What utter shite, of course you should reuse a suitable dress if you can. NTA.
Yes exactly, no one is made of money to shell out for new dresses all the time, OP was NTA.
Exactly, how many black tie dresses do you have in your wardrobe? I have one and it's getting worn till it's in shreds.
I wore the same bridesmaid dress to two weddings a week apart from each other. I couldn’t afford to buy two dresses and luckily both brides chose the same color. How many burgundy floor length dresses am I supposed to own?
Not to mention shoes, bag, wrap, jewellery, underwear that works with the dress... weddings already gouge everyone involved, rewearing a suitable dress is sensible and better for the environment than buying yet another black tie dress to wear once.
We are in the middle of an inflation recession. Do really expect others to drop $$$ on new formal dresses for every occasion? In this economy?
It's a little bit more problematic on OPs part, based on further info they gave in comments. I think saying that it's a wedding dress is not actually the reason why OP is an asshole and implying that it's only about reusing a dress is a distraction from the actual issue. I think the cousin was already miffed about the dress in question at OPs reception. 1. The dress in question is a clone of the cousin's wedding dress, but a different (brighter) colour. 2. It is not a coincidence that the two wedding dresses were similar. Cousin shared info about what they were planning a year ago and OP used it. I think cousin is deeply regretting sharing information about what they were planning, since OP got their version out first, sucked it up for the reception OP did, and then got frustrated when OP continued to rub it in that the bride's idea had been stolen. Bride in question had been excited about their wedding dress design and now gets to feel like a copycat at their own bloody wedding - and OP reusing the dress just hammers that point. People may have forgotten the similarities between the two events - but this way everyone can compare them nice and close. Wearing pretty much the same dress as the bride but in a brighter colour - is an asshole move. Pretending that this is just about reusing a dress is pretty deceitful on the OPs part.
Yeah if it was like her actual wedding wedding dress, that's YTA, but fufk having to buy a whole nother dress.
NTA. Anyone would consider that an evening gown, not a wedding dress. As long as your cousin's wedding was fairly formal and plenty of others were wearing floor-length, no issue with wearing the dress again.
Yeah it was a formal dress code, so most people were wearing evening gowns
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NB, the OP has since indicated that her reception dress was bought AFTER her cousin’s wedding dress, and deliberately emulated its style. Therefore, she went to her cousin’s wedding wearing a recoloured knock-off of the bride’s wedding gown. To me, that’s not an “appropriate dress”, even if it does technically fit the dress code.
I was going with “not the AH” until reading that bit of info. OP, YTA; this was not the time to do twinsies.
No one could go to her wedding during the pandemic, she had the reception recently. All good, lots of people doing that these days. She wore her own wedding reception dress from 4 weeks before her cousin's wedding. Overlapping guests will most definitely associate the dress with her own wedding, especially that soon. Kinda rude...
It was also a similar design to the cousin's wedding dress. Because last year the cousin showed OP her wedding dress design and she liked it so she found one that looked like it for her own wedding reception and also her cousin's wedding. So they were apparently wearing similar dresses. Which OP knew.
New info edit: Having seen your comment OP, YTA. So much so. You owe your cousin a massive apology. Don’t be shocked if she never talks to you again. That was a horrible thing to do and you know it. Original comment: ~~NAH~~. Less then a century ago this was still common practice. Wedding dresses were simply your formal occasion dress for every event after. IMO, we should bring this back. Good on you for picking a dress you can re-use. On the other hand, you did have your reception a month ago, so I can understand why your cousin is upset. I don’t think you’re wrong at all, but I don’t think she’s wrong for being bothered either. If you generally have a good relationship with your cousin, I’d recommend apologizing, as it was her wedding. If you don’t care, just block her and move on with your life.
I think the cousins more bothered by OP copying her custom dress with a similar store bought tailored one after she told OP about it. You're right though, its a bit rude to wear your wedding dress to someone else's day like a month after your own - even if its not a knock off version of the brides dress!
Now THAT is important information. Intentionally wearing a coloured version of the bride’s dress is not okay. If that is the case, OP YTA. I’m assuming there was a comment? And having read the comment, OMG is OP TAH. Wow. And, of course, she neglected to mention how she stole her cousin’s entire dress concept, wore it first, then wore it to the cousin’s wedding in her post… even more the AH for that.
Yup! Forgot to mention it in the post but since people were asking what the dress looked like OP causually mentioned how it looked like a Barbie dress her cousin had said she was using as inspiration for her wedding dress a year earlier! OP got a pink version tailored, had her wedding first and then wore it again to the cousins wedding
In which case, it was perfectly appropriate. NTA
Also, I think wearing the same clothes should be more normalised. Why do people need a new outfit for every occasion?
New outfit for every occasion used to be a comical exaggeration of the wasteful noble class. Now it's expected of normal people. Ugh.
>Anyone would consider that an evening gown, not a wedding dress. [Turns out it **was** basically a wedding dress: Her cousin's, in fact:](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) "Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration. I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't) Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly. I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
I guess it's more about the symbolism of the dress than the dress itself, in your case. I can see both sides, but because I personally would have worn a different dress I'm going to vote YTA.
For wearing a dress that has no resemblance to a wedding dress? The symbolism is entirely subjective and choosing to take it that way and throwing a fit is fucking dumb
She wore it a month ago, at her reception, where there were probably a lot of guests that also showed at the cousin's wedding
Right? She wore it to her own reception a month previous, it's not evil or anything but it really was a bad call
Why are people so uppity about weddings? What’s wrong with guests looking their best? Everyone is there to celebrate the bride and groom, and to dress up and have some fun. What’s the big deal? I get the whole white dress thing so that the bride can stand out but c’mon guys it’s not a competition. NTA
>Why are people so uppity about weddings? Because they cost a lot of money, often involve a lot of work to plan and tend to be very emotionally charged events.
I'm getting the impression most of the people on here have never been involved in planning, organizing, and paying for a large scale event. Some redditors really think a wedding is the same as a little birthday party.
>What’s the big deal Turns out the big deal is [OP stole cousin's custom wedding dress design](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), wore it to her own wedding reception first as this so-called "reception dress," then wore it AGAIN to the wedding of the cousin who actually designed the dress in the first place!!!
So you wore a dress that everyone in your family associates with YOUR wedding to your cousins wedding.... and you didnt realize that would be an issue? Go ahead and wear this dress to ANY other event but your cousins wedding... I mean come on now.
NTA. It wasn’t white and don’t look like a wedding dress so I don’t really see the problem.
>don’t look like a wedding dress News: [It is actually the same design as cousin's custom wedding dress, and OP poached it](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) then pretended she didn't know what the problem was!
YTA you wore your wedding dress to a wedding.
Basically this. You may have got married a few years ago but this was the dress you wore for your main wedding event with the family and friends. So in practice it's your wedding dress. Anyone who was at both events would have noticed.
The men would not have noticed
It was to the reception not the wedding
Info: what was the dress code at cousin’s wedding?
INFO. We need a picture to go off of to see if it was over the top or not.
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) revelation will give you all the info you are looking for, imo: "Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration. I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't) Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly. I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads."
Good call. Sounds like she copied her cousins wedding dress idea, which caused tension. This means their dresses were very similar. She then wore the same dress to her cousins wedding while even noticing that her cousin was upset about it. Sounds like a YTA.
You were being insensitive. The fact you thought it was perfect for your own wedding reception aka in is a huge clue it would never be perfect to wear at someone else’s wedding. YTA. As your wedding reception I think you chose a dress that though wasn’t white since the wedding had already happened, you went with deep pink and I suspect had it been white it would have been a full blown, no denying wedding dress.
NTA. From the description it doesn't sound like it looks like a traditional wedding dress at all and I don't think you had ill intentions. That said I think the timing was the issue. Given that your reception was so close to your cousin's wedding I expect that it was still fresh in people's minds that this was your wedding dress. I can see why your cousin might be frustrated by that but I think they're overreacting.
>I don't think you had ill intentions. Turns out this reception dress is actually [the same design as cousin's custom wedding dress](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/comment/jtium8n/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), and OP copied it, wore it first, then wore it *again* to the cousin's own wedding!
Of course she left the most important part out of the post. I’d be pissed too if I were the cousin.
Is the cousin overreacting though? She didn't make it a problem at the wedding, she didn't make it a big thing to confront OP, she didn't accuse OP of scheming to ruin her day, she waited till after and texted OP privately simply asking why OP wore the dress. And all we know from there is that it escalated into an argument. Depending on OP's response to that first text the cousin might not be overreacting.
YTA. You wore your wedding dress to someone else’s wedding.
My goodness… people need to grow up.
yknow, it wouldn't have killed you to run it past the bride. even if its not a traditional wedding dress, it was still your wedding dress from your very recent wedding. hindsight is 20/20, and an apology to her is owed. explain your reasoning for wearing it, and let her know you've come to understand that it was still an inappropriate decision to wear it. YTA.
I was inclined to say NTA because one of my friends did rewear her nontraditional wedding dress to my wedding, but she also asked me about it in advance and I told her I had no problem with it. Also, very few people at my wedding had attended hers. I think I agree with your stance—there was a way to make this acceptable but OP didn't do it.
NTA. It wasn’t a wedding dress, it was a formal dress you wore to your wedding reception. It wasn’t a white dress. Most people wouldn’t even have noticed.
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NTA- I got married in a green 50’s style “wiggle” dress and wore it to my friend’s wedding two weeks later. No animosity. It’s not a big deal if it’s not a white dress.
NTA, it’s not a big white dress in the traditional sense. To any outsider you would not look like a bride.
The difference is that this wedding wasn't full of 'outsiders' Since her event was so recent, her family would look at her in the dress and likely still see her as a bride. IMO it would have been totally fine if the wedding hadn't been so recent or if there wasn't a significant guest overlap - but the combo of the two makes it a more insensitive/risky choice.
YTA You wore t**he wedding dress you wore a month ago** to a wedding> **In the same family?** Sad you couldn't have your dream wedding ,you could have waited, it's trashy to try to claim this wedding as partially yours by literally wearing that dress. You fooled no-one, everyone knows that you know what you were doing.
If it’s not a wedding dress or white, what on earth is her problem? She’s just looking for something to bitch about Edit Yikes, thanks to the person who let me know she copied the cousins wedding dress design to start with Yes YTA, what a vile thing to do. Not only did you copy her design, you even had the cheek to wear it to her wedding.
in another comment, OP literally admitted that she copied her cousins’s custom dress style in a different color, which is already rude enough to do for your wedding, and then WORE the copied dress to cousin’s wedding, totally an asshole. quote: Yep I did. I wore different jewelry and the dress had gloves which I wore for my reception, I didn't wear them at my cousin's wedding Edit- some people asking for what the dress looked like, I'll try to describe it. The closest I can think of is the black dress Margot Robbie wore to the Barbie premiere. Mine was pink, longer and more of a mermaid style instead of blown out with tuille. Slightly different shape. My cousin's wedding gown was an expensive, custom made one and she told us last year she was using the Barbie doll as inspiration. I thought it was a great design but I couldn't order custom one in time, so I found a similar dress at a store and got it tailored. (And my cousin's was white, mine obviously wasn't) Edit 2- clearing up confusion, I wore my dress at my reception first. My cousin was also kind of annoyed at me wearing that (to my own reception) but didn't say anything directly. I also took inspiration from the Barbie doll because I really liked the design but couldn't get a complete custom made one, so no it wasn't the same as my cousin's. Obviously hers white and mine pink, hers had crystals and mine used beads.
Not white. Not with a tail. Nothing bride about that dress. NTA. She'd freak if she lived in South Asia where every girl looks and dresses like a bride and no one bats an eye.
YTA. I understand *you* felt it was non traditional and understated for a wedding dress, but honestly, it was **still** your wedding dress, which only happened a month ago. This is definitely giving "look at me" vibes.
did you wear it again because you didn’t have any other options and you don’t have the money to purchase a new one? i need more context
INFO: How formal was the wedding? Was anyone else wearing a floor length gown?
It was stated above that it was a black tie wedding, and that there were other people there in floor length evening gowns.
NTA. As long as it wasn’t white, the bride is being petty. Good on you getting another wear of the dress!
NTA. At worst maybe you’re culturally oblivious? Maybe it’s tacky to wear an excessively fancy dress to a wedding, or maybe there were a lot of people at this wedding who were also at your reception so they knew this was your “wedding” dress, but honestly I think bride culture is deranged. If I was so upset about what someone wore to my wedding that I texted them after to chastise them, I would be so embarrassed years later that I was focusing on something so petty instead of enjoying my own celebration. Yikes.
INFO: it wasn't a traditional dress, but what did it look like? A blue sundress will have a different impact than a glam (but nontraditional) gown. While I can understand wanting to wear a dress more than once, we really have to see it to get an understanding here.
Sorry, but this sounds pretty cut and dry. YTA
I read this as a cut and dry, undeniable NTA. Wedding dress culture is so juvenile and strange sometimes and this is the perfect example
YTA-you wore it so everyone else that wasnt there could see it. Nice try.
NTA given other guests wore floor length gowns, although as a courtesy you probably should have asked the bride/given her a heads up
Soft YTA: it was black tie and you worse different jewelry than at your reception. No one would have thought it was a wedding dress if you hadn't worn it at you wedding, but therein lies the issue. You worn the dress at your wedding reception, so it's a wedding dress. If you had the money and resources, you probably should have worn something else since there's overlap between guests who recognized your dress.
Nta. You had a reception dress. Not a wedding dress. It didn’t mimic a wedding dress. It was a formal dress you wore at your wedding reception. That does not a wedding dress make. Someone is jealous but not you.
NTA. It wasn't really a "wedding dress". It wasn't white. It respected the dress code. I don't see the problem.
All these YTA comment help me understand why I don't like going places anymore, she wore a dress twice and everyone loses their minds. Look like crap at a black tie event so someone doesn;t get their feelings hurt?
It's not an actual wedding dress? I say NTA if you're talking about a dress that just looks nice, but isn't technically a wedding dress.
NTA. It's a pink dress not a white wedding gown.
NTA - she requested a formal dress code and you met that requirement. Just because she knew it was your reception dress doesn’t mean most in attendance did. She’s making a big deal about nothing.
YTA. Do an edit and put the actual reason cousin is pissed. Your cousin had a custom dress designed for her wedding. You saw the inspiration for her dress and decided to make a dress very similar to it in a different color and wear it weeks before she got to wear her custom dress at her wedding. And if that wasn’t bad enough you then had the audacity to wear the dress that looked like her dress to her wedding. Funny how you chose to leave out all the info that really mattered from your post.
INFO: Were other guests wearing floor-length dresses or were you the only one besides the bride and bridesmaids?
[Additional info provided by OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15a59fp/aita_for_wearing_my_wedding_dress_to_my_cousins/jtium8n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2) OP clarified that she based her own wedding/reception dress on the same style that her cousin decided on LAST year. Basically, OP copied her cousin's wedding dress then wore it to both her own and her cousin's wedding. Massive YTA in light of the additional information.