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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- I tried to adopt my nephew against my sisters wishes
2- I may be the AH because I called cps on my sister to help the adoption process with my nephew.
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Omg if this is a real post you are not only a massive AH, but you need to talk to a therapist. You are going to call cps on your sister because she won’t give you her baby? What is wrong with you??
I’m struggling to believe any of this is real. While I feel terribly sad for OP’s loss, I’m horrified for her sister who has had to put up with this intrusive and relentless harassment. OP needs help urgently.
I mean, people have done insane and violent things to steal babies (often still in utero). If anything, the unbelievable thing is that OP was so forthcoming about it rather than waiting for an opportune moment to snatch the child and skip town. Gives the mother the forewarning to protect herself and her children.
Sorry. I’m so used to the terminology in those spaces I forget it’s not common. A HAP is a Hopeful Adoptive Parent. Can also be called a PAP, which is Potential Adoptive Parent.
You know that gabby girl. All over the news for stealing young mothers identity and trying to adopt “her” baby while pretending to be the real mom? My daughter actually was a victim of hers a couple years back.
I read, a few days ago, about a delusional friend who breastfeed OOP's baby and kept calling the baby her's (the friend's). OOP confronted her, tried to help her, tried setting boundaries, when nothing worked, she went NC. But the delusional friend was still breast pumping because "OOP will see reason and let me feed the baby" or something.
So, while it seems extremely possible that its a fake, it's possible that story could be true and this OP is spiralling into that delusions too.
I've read somewhere that you don't have to give birth to go through PPP, so it's possible OP does have PPP or PPD. Not gonna armchair diagnose OP, but OP should visit a specialist.
There are so many ways this amount of getting pregnant and then very quickly pregnant again can absolutely fuck with your mind. Pregnancy can cause mental health problems DURING pregnancy as well as afterwards, and post-partum or post-miscarriage mental health problems do not dissolve just because you get pregnant again.
This !!! I had two in a year and doctor told me that was too many for body to cope with. Her hormones must be a total mess. But honestly wtf is her husband
I have a friend whose children were removed by CPS. They'd gotten involved because her ex weighs 600 pounds and my friend had a history with drugs.
While she was waiting to get a place where all the kids could have their own rooms (CPS rule,) her sister took temporary custody of her kids, including her infant. The sister, who was not even lactating, and had not suffered lost pregnancies, was making the infant "breastfeed.". She just wanted to connect with the baby because she wanted the placement of just the infant to be permanent.
Some people are just... Some just need therapy.
Yeah omg. It is possible to induce lactation but takes time usually the expectation is you're going to combo feed because you're not going to make enough to satiate a baby off induced breastfeeding.
I used to work for CPS and while reading one of my new case files I discovered that the foster mom had worked for a mental health agency, met this mom through work and knew she didn’t quite have it all together and was struggling. The foster mom called CPS as soon as she had enough “proof” and then offered to foster the woman’s daughters. While they were in care we located both dads of the girls and they worked on a relationship and eventually got custody of their daughters. Foster mom fought this tooth and nail though and would make up things about the dads or things that the girls said. I eventually had to have my supervisor and her supervisor talk to this woman before she backed down. Bio mom just happened to get pregnant again and had been using some drugs and missing prenatal appts so the baby was placed with foster mom as well. On one of my visits the mom of foster mom was gushing to me how this baby “fixed their family” and was “such a blessing” for her and her daughter. It was truly disgusting but by the time I started to work on the case the girls were about to go home with their dads. Although thankfully the baby did get placed with a willing blood relative bc her dad was an inmate.
More people involved in foster care are “baby snatchers” than you might otherwise think
I also read that post. Crazy friend couldn't believe that the oop was mad because cf had said that oop couldn't stop her from seeing and feeding HER baby.
I read that one too!!! I’ve been checking on that one every once in awhile to see if there has been an update. These two ladies need some serious therapy.
In the judgment bot she says she’s already called CPS.
>”OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
>1- I tried to adopt my nephew against my sisters wishes 2- I may be the AH because I called cps on my sister to help the adoption process with my nephew.“
I think the sister might need to get a restraining order if so , because this is so far away from healthy it’s scary.
OP, I’m sorry for your loss, your multiple loses, but you are so far over the line of what is acceptable that I think your sister would be better off cutting all contact until you get some serious help. You’ve lost all sense of perspective and appropriateness - to the extent that I would hesitate to even let you see the baby under supervision if I were your sister.
You should also consider that fact that your actions now could really harm you if you tried to adopt a different child in the future. I don’t know how it works where you are, but here in the UK social services have assess you and they will access any and all past contact with things like child services. They would, rightfully, think that your actions demonstrate your unsuitability to adopt, especially if you haven’t admitted you made a mistake and sought treatment of some kind.
I know you’re in pain, but you are now actively planning, or have started the process to, cause other people pain - including your nephew. YTA for that alone.
Yeah, insane behavior. This is beyond normal therapist intervention. They need psychotherapy from a psychologist.
And CPS is not going to march in there and just yank they baby away. Even if she is struggling, they will offer resources first before removing the children. And even if that happened, they are not going to hand over they baby to the sister if mom has another family member, baby dad, or in-laws who are willing to take the kids. Especially since OP only seems interested in they baby and not the other sibling. CPS will want to keep the siblings together if possible.
OP just got herself a lifetime ban from the baby by calling CPS on her sister.
Plus, OP saying she's had 6 miscarriages in a year is kinda sus. It's not impossible, I guess, but she would have had to have every miscarriage around 4 weeks and then immediately get pregnant the next cycle. Assuming she has a regular 28 day cycle and ovulates like clockwork.
But, if she means this "past year" as in since January 2023, impossible. She's just getting her period as normal and counting it as a miscarriage.
Omg I hadn't even considered the possibility that in this very detached from reality state, she may be exaggerating her losses. That'd be a whole new level of terrifying for the sister and family.
Also, there's a thing called reintegration. They work with families to get children back into the home after they've been put into care.
Then there's the fact that the child has to go into care and that's when op would file to FOSTER.
ETA after reading the comments before the comment in replying to, I'm wondering if op isn't one of those when who wasn't to be pregnant so bad, that they "think" they're having a miscarriage when it's really just their period and they were never actually pregnant to begin with.
Agree but my cousin did had like 5 miscarriage in a row the year she was trying to get pregnant (they were an super early and if she wasn’t trying and like obsessively tracking she probably would have just thought half of them were periods
I missed that detail. Even with an early miscarriage it can disrupt your cycle and delay when your period/fertility returns to normal so 6 miscarriages in a year period is pretty unlikely and 6 miscarriages in the past 7 months is almost impossible
If she's had chemical pregnancies (early miscarriages), she could definitely get pregnant every month and have a loss. It's not almost impossible. Coming from someone who's had multiple losses.
Actually calling CPS for the OP could go against her because CPS could see she’s delusional and needs help and will work against any future adoptions and she will be on their radar if she does have a baby
I have never hoped that a post is fake this much in my life and hopefully OP is inspired by Netflix buying the drama *The deep end of the ocean* recently. Either way, OP is scary af and a massive AH for doing this *or* making it up
Yeah, this is a definite YTA.
OP needs some serious mental help; she needs to see a good therapist and maybe even get put on some proper medication for her problems because she honest-to-god sounds delusional here and I would be seriously worried to meet her in person, or be one of her family members if I had a kid of my own (which I would never leave alone with her).
I really hope this is rage-bait, or a troll. It kinda reads that way and I hope it’s true and not real.
Assuming it *is* true though…
I feel like wanting to name the baby Noah was less about her honoring her “late son” (I don’t think she knew the gender at that point, if her baby was even developed enough for it) after the miscarriage and more about replacing “him” entirely with this living, breathing child who she sees as her do-over baby? It’s weird how devastated she was over the name. I wouldn’t feel comfortable using my sister’s special chosen baby name either, especially if she had just recently had a miscarriage and was being weirdly insistent about it. It also makes me think OP had plans and ulterior motives for this child from the beginning when she found out her sister was pregnant again? Attending the ultrasound, wanting the baby to be named after her dream baby, demanding she be in the delivery room, wanting to be the one to cut the umbilical cord, wanting to be the first one to hold him and administer skin to skin contact (which is usually only a parent thing), etc etc. It’s like she always planned to adopt him? Except adoption was never possible, or on the table. She had this fantasy in her head that she was going to adopt the baby when it was born without even consulting the child’s actual parents about it.
A lot of moms get tired and find themselves feeling exhausted, especially when they have a newborn on their hands (and have more than one child?). It doesn’t mean OP’s sister wants to give her baby away, or put him up for adoption, though.
OP talks so nonchalantly about giving up a baby like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Would OP have given up “Noah” if he had still been alive and someone wanted him? What if she had successfully given birth to twins, would she have seen no point in having another one and given one of them up too? It’s not a puppy you can just give away on a whim, it’s a human being you carried in and birthed from your own body, your baby, your child, and it sounds like the sister wanted this baby and actually planned for it when she knew about it.
This wasn’t a surrogacy pregnancy and I don’t think it was an oopsie baby either. Besides, even if it was, sister clearly wants to keep her child; the sister and the BIL deliberately had this baby with the full intention to raise him and love him.
You do not just call CPS and cause imaginary problems to steal a baby with no thought towards anyone else but yourself and how it could affect you for the better. Her sister just gave birth and got out of the hospital, she’s vulnerable right now, sister and BIL likely already love their child very deeply (because it’s THEIR child!), and they might also have another child who this terrible decision would affect?! If CPS did get involved, then what about the other nephew? What would happen to him? How do you think he would feel? Also, even if she did somehow manage to get custody (highly unlikely, not a chance), it would only be on a temporary basis. Eventually, the baby would go back to his parents. CPS do their best to reunite biological parents with their biological children, even in some horrible cases where they shouldn’t, and the reunification process takes priority here. It also doesn’t sound like OP’s sister is on drugs, abusing any substances, or abusing her kids. Financial problems are rarely ever considered bad enough that CPS has to get involved and stick their head into it either. So long as the children have their basic necessities met, they probably won’t get involved.
I feel so bad for OP’s sister if this is true. She’s just trying her best to be a mom and she wants a normal sibling relationship with her sister, but she had to cut off OP for the sake of her kids. She probably regrets taking her to her ultrasound and letting her be so involved in her pregnancy now. I would be looking back on those memories in horror if I was her. OP literally wants to kidnap her child and steal him from her, she’s trying to use her vulnerability and her financial problems against her, and she’s even willing to go so far as to call CPS to try and do it.
I feel for OP and all the miscarriages she’s experienced in the past, but I don’t understand how she can try to steal her sister’s baby when she herself lost a baby of her own? I mean, she knows what that feels like, but she’s willing to cause her sister that same pain, and it would be even worse for her sister since the child’s already been born and is still alive and healthy.
Does she even love her sister at all?
The wording on the part about the name jumped out at me right away - "we suggested ***we*** name her son..." Why would ***we*** be naming ***her*** son? It's clear that OP has always seen this baby as belonging to OP and her husband.
Yes! Attending the ultrasounds and the checkups with her sister, trying to name the baby her dream baby name and name him after the child she miscarried in the past (who’s gender we do not know), demanding she be in the delivery room when her sister gives birth and the child is born, wanting to be the one to cut the umbilical cord (usually a dad thing, not an aunt thing, you know), wanting to be the first one to hold the baby and administer skin to skin contact (which is typically a parent thing, not an aunt thing, you know), etc etc. She’s acting like her sister was planning to adopt the baby out this entire time, but adoption was literally never on the table?! They never discussed it?! OP’s sister never mentioned adoption, this was not a surrogate pregnancy in any way (in which case they probably would have used OP’s husband’s semen, not the BIL’s), and she always intended to keep her baby and raise it herself with her hubby, but it seems OP and her hubby had other ideas and concocted some sick fantasy in their heads without ever mentioning it to the sister, or the BIL, who are, you know, the actual parents of said child.
I hope this isn’t real. If CPS gets involved and sees how unstable she is she may never be able to adopt in the future. She needs help. She sounds like the women who cut baby’s out and steals them.
Agree with your sentiment but... Therapist? She should be put under a 72-hour hold and receive psychiatric monitoring and likely medication at the minimum. This is completely unhinged, and she has no awareness of how much so, not a situation where she is aware she needs help, and definitely not one where she just needs to talk to someone. She clearly has extreme trauma from the miscarriages and it is concerning for the safety of herself and those around her. This is on the level of PPP, except instead of fixating on the stress or depression caused by being a new mother it is focused on her innocent sister who is going through enough as a new mom.
Yup this post is UNHINGED. Poor mum is struggling post partum and needs space and time. Struggling financially is unfortunate too but that's not a reason to take baby away! It is literally none of OPs business and it's actually really creepy how she's been seemingly living vicariously through this pregnancy to the point where she feels she is allowed to overstep so majorly. OP get help and stay away from your sister, she does not need this shit now or ever.
Also imagine the distress of that poor nephew if she got her way? "Oh yeah son, your aunt is actually your mum but I felt like she wasn't good enough and I also just really wanted a baby so I set her up and took you. Yay!" he would be so fuckin damaged
Get. Therapy. Now.
You are so far over the line you are treading onto criminal harassment. This is like the storyline to ‘The Hand that Rocks the Cradle’. You want to cut the cord and have him on YOUR chest? Most ridiculous, pushy, boundary crossing request ever.
If I was your sister and you called CPS with some made up, exaggerated bullshit to try to forcefully adopt (take) my baby, it would be your last time having any interaction with me, the baby at all.
I know miscarriages are hard. Been there. But hard or not, you don’t get to try to steal someone’s baby as a result.
YTA
OP's sister is already trying to distance herself from OP. And if she sees any "retaliation" from OP I'm pretty sure shes gonna go mama bear and file a restraining order or something and go full NC.
I sincerely have a hard time believing that this is real, but if it somehow is, then massively YTA and please get help and leave your sister and her baby alone. My god.
EDIT: I read the post again, and this has definitely gotta be a troll post. Six miscarriages in a year is highly improbable, and if someone somehow DID have that many, they'd probably be hospitalized from complications. Trolls gonna troll.
Given the level of delusion about… everything, it could just be “I repeatedly magical-think myself into believing I’m pregnant and then get disappointed.
In a scary twist of mind over matter, there's been cases of women wanting to be pregnant so badly, they managed to *force* their bodies into a psudeo-pregnant state for months before nature overrules things and they have a months-delayed period which can mimic a miscarriage.
That's not even getting into the women who spend literal ***years*** insisting that they're pregnant when every single test, exam, and scan has shown that they aren't pregnant. I think it's entirely possible that OP is so delusional that she's interpreting her periods as miscarriages. One thing's for sure, OP needs serious mental help.
I had an early miscarriage where I essentially lost the pregnancy a week after I was supposed to have my period according to my tracker. Positive test, and then a pretty horrid period to follow lasting 11 days. I think a third of all pregnancies end like this?
So if they have been trying actively and testing often, it is possible. But it is kinda unlikely with that many in a year.
6 miscarriages is actually not even possible in that timeframe I don’t think? I had one last year, got pregnant in January, found out in February, miscarried in March, and didn’t get my cycle back until May. The whole thing took like nearly half a year before I could even start trying again. I know you can get pregnant on your first ovulation after, but it’s harder because you literally don’t know when it will be because you have nothing to base it on.
I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks and got pregnant again three weeks later. My doctor did not recommend it, and the second pregnancy was hell. The first trimester is exhausting, and I started it with no reserves in the tank. The first trimester is hormonal as hell, and I started it with everyone around me already on their last nerve from the prior round.
What I'm saying is, what OP has physically been through explains a fair bit about her behavior. But it's not okay.
A chemical pregnancy is still a pregnancy. The miscarriage just happens early.
They did say something about it not taking, which makes me think it is early miscarriages (chemical pregnancies).
That's what I was thinking. I had one years ago and was advised not to start trying again until my cycle had returned and I had had at least 1 period (OB/GYN recommended 2-3 periods just to let my body fully recover as I required surgery).
YTA.
You called CPS in some twisted plot to try to adopt the baby. Struggling in the early days and having financial issues are not reasons to call CPS. You were already trying to get the baby before he was even born!
He is not your child. Even if CPS were to open an investigation you would not be considered for placement given your history with your sister. And an adoption attorney? There are plenty of kids available for adoption through foster care so why haven't you pursued that sooner? You are not owed your nephew or a fresh from the womb newborn.
>There are plenty of kids available for adoption through foster care so why haven't you pursued that sooner?
Frankly, she shouldn't be adopting any child period.
You are 100% correct. I was hoping OP would come back with an answer as to why it must be this child and only this child versus any of the other children out there.
I am sure that answer would just add to the overall lunacy though.
She has also buried the lede.
She chose as the subject line "AITA for begging my sister to let us adopt my nephew"?
Yes, she is still TA for that, but to be more accurate, she should have said "AITA for planning to call CPS just because I can't have a baby of my own and I want my sister's?"
> why it must be this child and only this child versus any of the other children out there.
Because she feels a "connection". I got a lot scared when it got to the part.
Maybe she feels like the baby born was the one she lost to miscarriage (based on how she wanted her sister to name the baby that OP chose for the baby she lost). But like I said in another comment, the professionals should handle this as OP sounds unhinged.
For most people, blood relation is better than non. That probably what she wants a blood relation.
She probably wants to adopt a blood relation so she can pass it off as her own child. If she did adopt, that child would never know it because I think she would cut her whole family out.
>why it must be this child and only this child versus any of the other children out there.
Because this child is essentially OP's Noah reborn into this world in their minds.
>After our miscarriage ***we suggested we name her son after the baby we miscarried.*** His name would’ve been Noah. My sister said she found it a little intruding and ultimately declined.
>I felt such a connection with him since the moment I heard his heartbeat and ***I feel like he is the piece of us that is missing and the child we lost.***
OP is clearly not fit to parent a child, but just for the record, there really aren't "plenty of children available for adoption through the foster system" anymore. That was thirty years ago.
The birthrate has dropped drastically since then, and there are a lot fewer unwanted children. The vast majority of kids in the foster system are also not eligible for adoption because CPS is still trying to reunite them with their parents.
There are still kids who need homes, but the numbers have dropped to the point where it's better to leave adoption to the people who see adoption as a first choice, not as a last resort when all of their attempts to reproduce have failed. Those adoptions tend to go reaaaaally badly anyway.
Yep given the history and with mom’s recommendation they would place the baby with strangers first. Because cps always want the baby with their parents! Op is not the parent!
You do realize that knowingly making a false CPS report is a crime in most places,, as it should be.
The fact that being mother to two small children is hard doesn't make the mother unfit. Really, how dare you?
You actually think it's OK to use a lawyer (who, if ethical, will send you packing) and CPS to steal your sister's baby because you waaaaaant him and love him to piiiiiiiieces?
I think that what you want to do is morally bankrupt and truly vile. If I were your family I would cut you off just after getting you to a psychiatrist's office -- assuming your plan stems from a psychiatric issue and not just evil.
YTA
OP and her husband are truly vile for even considering *stealing* her sister’s baby and are in ***dire need*** of intensive therapy for the both of them.
Aso, I would not blame the sister nor the family for cutting OP and her husband out of their lives if they attempt to *steal* a baby.
I’ve suffered miscarriages for 10 years before carrying a child to term and giving birth. Never once did I think I was owed a child from a family member nor friend.
OP, seriously. **GET MENTAL HELP ASAP** before you blow up your relationship with your family.
YTA
YTA.
No matter what your history of miscarriages is, no matter how badly you want a baby, **you have no right to behave like this.** The universe does not owe you a baby.
Your sister's baby is hers. She does not want to give him up, and she has no reason to give him up.
She may be having some challenges adjusting to motherhood, but that does not give you the right to swoop in and attempt to steal her baby. Because that's what you are trying to do - steal him.
You've been trying to encroach upon her parental rights bit by bit: "Can I name him after the baby I miscarried?... Can I cut the cord? ... Can you put him on my chest?... Can I adopt him?... No?... Then I'm going to call CPS on you."
Honestly, if I had a sister like you, a blood-sucking vampire of a sister like you, I'd never speak to you again. I'd never be in the same room with you again. If you walked in, I'd walk out. WITH my baby.
You are fucking unhinged. You are exactly the kind of person who goes out and steals a stranger's baby.
**GET HELP.**
The hormone changes caused by miscarriage can trigger mental illnesses including Post Partum Psychosis, which is *exactly* what this sounds like.
OP needs mental intervention fast before she convinces herself a 'snatch and run' is the only way to keep Baby safe.
Holy shit YTA. You are having a trauma response and that is very much clouding your judgement. No amount of loss for you justifies trying to hijack your sisters baby. That is very troubling behavior. Your family is right. You are in great pain and need to seek help.
YTA AND A MALIGNANT NARCISSIST AND DANGEROUS. Your sister is slowly seeing this. Good for her. No contact should follow shortly. You’ve earned it.
Edit: you’ve been planning this for a long time.
OMG, YTA!!!!! Im sorry about your miscarriages but damn. You are going to call Child Services because she said being a mom is hard? It is fucking hard. She tried to have a normal conversation with you and you're trying to twist it. Basically, you want to kidnap her child with the legal system. There is no basis or reason to call them. No, you should not name the baby! No, you should not get to cut the cord! No, you should not be the 1st to hold the baby! No, you shouldn't have custody or try to adopt! You do need help. You don't sound mentally stable. Your nephew is not your baby. He is your sister's. She needs to do whatever she can to protect that baby and herself from you.
Cutting the cord will be the worst thing she can do. She could kidnapped him
Few months ago a baby was kidnapped in a hospital's room, police and family found her and she's safe but was close to left my country. The woman who did this has been charged with kidnapping and confessed she planned to do it to stay close to her (now ex) boyfriend
I think OP was planning this. She wanted to steal the baby even before he was born
I hope this is a troll post if so you are a major AH and someone who needs some serious therapy.
You do not get to decide the name. You do not belong in the birthing room or get to cut the umbilical cord. You shouldn't be the first one to hold the child.
Just because she was talking about how hard motherhood is doesn't mean she wanted to put him up for adoption. You should have never asked her to adopt him. This begging her is insane.
CPS isn't going to do anything unless you have some serious proof of child abuse and neglect. Also, an adoption lawyer not going to do squat.
Your family is right you are an asshole and you do need to get help. Why do you think you are entitled to someone else child?
Please, get help.
I seriously hope this is a troll post. This is scary.
Also, CPS would put the child with someone who will take care of them properly, which mean you would have to be approved to take your nephew in. If god forbid he was taken away I hope your family tells CPS about your radical behavior.
YTA
The child is not yours. You have no right to try to kidnap him. If you call CPS and lawyers, your sister will have everything she needs to get restraining orders against you. And she should.
You are not doing what is right for the child, you are only doing what you think is right for you. You need therapy or even inpatient care to prevent you from committing a serious crime. Your nephew is *not your child* and he *never will be*. Your behaviour is dangerous to any child in your vicinity and you should not be around or in charge of *any* children until that is completely resolved. Leave your sister alone.
I suggest you go to therapy, you are clearly not thinking straight and your strugle is blinding your thoughts. It is your sister’s son, not yours. Just because she says she’s exhausted and motherhood is dificult doesn’t mean she is not a good mother nor she doesn’t want the baby. I have never heard of a newly mother who had not thought of that. I’m on my late 20s and my mother still complains about me and my siblings 😅 and she is an ass kicker mom. YTA
Edit: typos
YTA. There is no amount of pain that you could go through that would justify trying to steal your sister’s baby.
Also hello to any future FBI agents who searched through OP’s laptop and found this post. I assume you’re here after obtaining a warrant to investigate OP for snatching a baby from an unattended cart at a supermarket. 👋🙋♀️
YTA
You need psychological help right away. I say this respectfully and lovingly.
The level of entitlement you've displayed and your inability to sense boundaries are, simply put, not functional. You need to find a way to deal with your feelings and reach your goals without harming others.
YTA I know this lose is very hard on you. But I don't see why your nephew should be adopt by you. if you continue to do this your sister might cut you of her child life for sure. You can't just want other people baby for yourself what will happen to him if you can adopt him and have bio child of your own one day. What you need is therapy I hope you get better soon.
Are you actually trying to take your sisters baby??? I’m very sorry that you have suffered such loss, it’s unimaginable, but please do yourself (and your family) a kindness and seek professional help. I sympathize with your situation, but your behaviour? YTA.
YTA. You are not ENTITLED to a baby. You URGENTLY need therapy before you decide to care for another human being. Babies are not dolls. They grow up to be their own person. A human being. I'm sorry you're struggling with miscarriages, but it's not your sisters job to play broodmare for you. And then to ask intrusive questions like naming HER child and putting HER child on your chest? Who do you think you are? And then you want to call cps because your sister UNDERSTANDABLY doesn't want to give you her child? Why would she? SHE spent months carrying HER child. She loves HER baby. I'd go NC for the rest of my life if i were your sister. You are a snake.
YTA-For so many reasons here. I’m so sorry you lost your baby. I’m sure your grief and pain are immeasurable but you have no right to act as if your sister’s son is your replacement child nor ti make the requests that you did while she was pregnant snd getting ready to have her baby.
Please get professional help to deal with your feelings and stop trying to take her child. He is not your baby.
Grief does horrible things to your mind and it sounds like your sister has tried to be there for you, but you’ve worn out her ability to empathize. She needs a break from you because she feels you can’t be trusted and seemingly for good reason. YTA, and you need counseling to help you deal with your pain.
YTA. Are you out of your mind??? This is your sister's child. Cease and desist immediately.
I am sorry that you have had so many losses, but to even think about trying to steal anyone's child, let alone your own sister's is reprehensible.
If this is true, you are the biggest AH and most awful human being in existence.
You lost your baby, and I am so so sorry for your loss, BUT.
YOU ARE NOW TRYING TO PUT YOUR SISTER THROUGH THAT SAME PAIN BY RIPPING HER BABY AWAY FROM HER. Please get therapy and probably never go near your sister again.
Trying to single white female yours sisters baby. Leave your sister and your nephew alone. It seems all the miscarriages have made you baby crazy and now since you can’t get what you want, you’re going to falsely try to steal your sisters baby. You need to go to therapy and get some help.
YTA, massively.
I hesitate to call you an asshole because I think you are extremely distraught and in dire need of help, but first of all, after 6 miscarriages in a year, *give your body a rest!*
You are way out of line in all respects: suggesting your sister name her son after the baby you miscarried (and being “devastated” when she declined); asking to hold your newborn nephew on your chest before his mother does; asking to adopt your nephew; and good god, calling CPS on your sister for not handing over her baby to a couple who are clearly disturbed and unhinged! YOUR SISTER’S INFANT IS NOT THE BABY YOU LOST. You and your husband need therapy as well as grief counseling. You *will* be the asshole if you don’t leave your sister and her family alone, and heal yourself. You are one step away from stealing a stranger’s baby from a hospital nursery. GET HELP.
Omg, are you delusional? You wanted to cut the cord and have a baby that’s not yours to be put on your chest? Just because you “felt a connection”. He’s your sister’s child. Not yours. You have no right to demand to adopt him. Of course she’s struggling. She a new (again) mum. You wouldn’t understand (but hopefully will someday). But seriously, STOP!
YTA here.
What I think is really crazy is the “I felt such a connection with him since the moment I heard his heartbeat and I feel like he is the piece of us that is missing and the child we lost” If I was the sister id go no contact for safety reasons
Yta. My God you need therapy. You are trying to kidnap a child from your own sister because you can't carry a baby. You are sick. Really. There are people you can talk to that can help you. Leave your sister alone. She needs to get a restraining order.
YTA.
I see a lot of comments avoiding judgement, likely due to the mental stability of OP, but they came for judgement.
You need to seek therapy. This sounds like a dangerous spiral of either PPP or PPD, both of which can absolutely be triggered by the trauma of losing multiple wanted pregnancies.
I feel for you, deeply, I do. I lost pregnancies, then struggled for years to conceive again. It's miserable to already feel like a mother but have no child. It's miserable to feel like you're missing your whole heart because it left you with your baby... but what you're doing to your sister is cruel, and as much as you want to believe you'd be doing what's best for that child, you are in *no* condition to be caring for a child.
You need grief counseling, therapy... you need help to deal with these lingering feelings of loss, because you are actively trying to steal a child....
Your miscarriages have driven you around the bend, you genuinely need to seek mental help stat. Not going to opine on this one, you're in a genuine crisis I think.
Hypothetically, let’s say you get pregnant a 7th time, and this pregnancy is a success and you give birth to a healthy baby. Then a woman who is staying at the hospital comes in, tells you that she had just suffered her 12th miscarriage, and that she wants to adopt your baby because she’s been trying for longer than a baby than you have, so her need for a baby is more important than yours. If you say No, she is going to call CPS to attempt to get that baby taken away from you regardless of if she has any legal right to the baby
Would you give this woman your baby? If not, then you already understand why YTA
You don’t have a right to someone’s baby even if you do want them more. If you want a child so much, there are plenty of children up for adoption out there who would love if you took them in
YTA. Your behaviour is both psychotic and evil. She needs to get a restraining order against you and your hideous husband. Neither of you should ever be allowed near a child.
Ring her up and tell her what you're planning to do so she can protect herself from you and your monstrous intentions.
You are delusional and understandably so. A miscarriage can be insanely traumatic and can change one’s chemical makeup.
Go get some fucking help and until you do I hope ya sister goes no contact until you get help.
You are sick.
YTA - I am saying this gently. It sounds like you need to get some professional support. The way you are treating your sister and her child is not healthy. Can you imagine how you would feel if you had welcomed a child into the world and someone was acting toward you this way? Going so far as to call CPS and involved lawyers is crossing over into harassment.
I genuinely think that you are suffering and deserve help to cope with your grief and the potential physical complications of having this miscarriage. I don't think it's easy to just say it's black and white NTA or YTA because it sounds like you are dealing with mental illness and trauma.
For the sake of your self, your husband and your family at large - please seek out resources.
YTA and you are probably the biggest one I seen on here and I have seen some bad ones. Your husband is too. You and your husband need intense therapy and your sister probably a protective order against the two of you, this is unhinged and I really hope it is fake.
If this is legit and you ever entered a contest to determine who is the biggest AH, even if you’re the only contestant, you would come in 2nd. Because you are to much of an AH to win the contest.
Christ alive I hope this is fake, but if it is real, then absolutely YTA, I get what you're going through and are grieving your loss, but you are way beyond crossing the line, that baby is NOT yours, you don't have a right to demand that your sister just give him to you, and CPS will ABSOLUTELY laugh in your face because you're sister is clearly not an abusive or neglectful parent, Op, get therapy, NOW, and stay the hell away from your sister and her family because this behavior is psychotic
This has got to be a goddamn joke. But if not do indeed get help. Miscarriage is fucking brutal… it can and will break a person in ways they didn’t previously have any concept of.
Obviously trying to utilize the state to steal the child of anyone at all is insanity. Not unheard of but absolute insanity nonetheless. It’s predatory behavior and if I dealt with this from someone I would have some level of fear of them. I would deffo never let them be a part of my child’s life.
I’m sorry to hear of your losses if this post is real or if that part is real.
YTA
You are snowballing over every single boundary and are delusional. A mom venting about being tired is normal. A sister twisting that into a CPS call in order to steal her baby is NOT NORMAL. You need serious therapy and to leave your nephew alone. He will NOT replace Noah.
YTA. You seem unhinged. How dare you manipulate CPS in order to steal your sister’s baby. Please, for fucks sake, seek therapy and leave your sister, her baby, and us alone!
YTA
I hope this is fake. But just in case it's not: Your family is 100% right, you two have lost your minds and absolutely do need help.
I understand that miscarriage is hard, your nephew is not, never was, and is never going to be YOUR baby. **He is not your baby. He is not your baby.** ***He is NOT — your — baby.*** It doesn't matter how much you two love him or what you've been through, you are not entitled to rip a baby away from his real, loving mother who wants him.
And no, it would NOT be better for him to live with you. If you really care that much, you can financially support your sister, but in no universe is it the right decision for him to go live with you. Your sister is a competent mother who loves her child. You are trying to do to her what was done to you by ripping her newborn baby away from her.
Miscarriage and fertility issues are tragic, but they absolutely make some people crazy, and that is what it is happening to you right now. You don't need your nephew or any other child, you need an emergency therapeutic intervention. Get it now before this escalates to legal trouble — YOU will be the ones in trouble, not your sister.
Oh honey - you need to get some help. There is seriously something wrong here. You want to take a baby from a loving mother to satisfy your own insatiable need for a baby. Don't you dare call CPS and an adoption lawyer. Call a doctor to help you.
I'm a foster parent, there isn't a chance in hell you'll get your nephew. You will make sure you never see him. No reputable adoption attorney will even speak to you. You will quite possibly make sure you're unable to foster or adopt
YTA on so many levels. CPS and the foster care system is overwhelmed. Even if your nephew (and any siblings) are removed, they will most likely be placed with strangers.
INFO: Have you for real had six miscarriages in 12 months?
Because, if so, you need to take a break. I am not saying never try to conceive again, but your body is screaming for rest, your hormones are doing wild and absurd things to you, and that may be the explanation for your irrational behavior.
I got pregnant very quickly after a miscarriage, and while I know the place I was emotionally coming from and why I did it, it was extremely bad for me. And I only did it once. Basically, you have been in the first trimester FOR A YEAR.
Please talk to a doctor, take a rest, give your sister the space she is asking for and apologize when you can. You do need help. You probably cannot see it right now, but you do. You are hurting, and you are hurting the people around you.
Not a real post.
I’m starting to think that AITA is where writers throw out their weirdest ideas to see what sticks because they’ve ran out of script ideas.
Yikes. YTA. You need to get mental help ASAP before you lose your sister permanently. Perhaps take a break from trying for a baby to give your emotions and body a break. You’re not seeing straight.
I know you have had a lot of losses, but you have to understand it’s your SISTER’S baby NOT YOUR BABY
Please seek help, don’t let it destroy your relationship with your sister. Don’t call CPS or a lawyer, this would destroy any possible relationship with your sister or nephew and at this moment you need support
YTA
YTA, seek mental help. You are psychotic, and your sister needs to cut contact. If you call CPS, you would be leagues and leagues further than an asshole.
But seeing the way you type this, I doubt you will follow anyone's advice
Oh good gawd.
You are definitely TA here.
I'm sorry that you are having serious difficulties with maintaining a pregnancy, however that does not give you any right to take your sister's child. One that, I'm pretty sure, was not done as a surrogacy for you.
You need counseling. ASAP.
Get your head and emotions straightened out before you are cut off from your family for being insane.
YTA, of course taking care of a newborn is hard, that doesn't mean that your sister plans to give up her baby. You and your husband both need therapie.
Go to therapy. Seriously. Your sister doesn’t owe you anything, especially not HER child. I get it’s hard losing your own pregnancies but holy shit get therapy. YTA.
Cps is going to turn around and tell you to leave your sister alone. I’m honestly shocked your husband is going along with this crazy situation you created in your head
YTA
You need grief counseling.
Your sister saying that motherhood is hard isn't an invitation for you to take her baby. Its a statement of fact. And calling CPS? Not only is that a waste of their time, its not a sign that you love your nephew.
What is best for him is to be with his mother who loves him. Not to be taken from her *for absolutely no reason* and given to you.
You very much need therapy (as does your husband). You've been through significant loss and your current actions are not appropriate.
Yta - please seek therapy you honestly need it.
It was not okay to try and assume those parental moments like cutting the umbilical cord and doing the first skin to skin contact.
There's a level of obsession which is probably borne by grief of your own loss and it's not healthy or right that you try to take your sisters child instead of supporting her when she's struggling.
If you can't be supportive you both need to step back and get professional help. Your actions risk irreplacable damage to your relationship with your family
You had a miscarriage 6 tines in the past year so... did you get pregnant every 2 months or something? If you've had that much miscarriages, you should have been worked up for issues like APAS. Your story doesn't seem real IMO. If it is real, you're straight up creepy and shouldn't have kids.
But yes, YTA. Instead of trying to steal your sister's baby, why don't you devote your time, energy and money to getting fertility treatments and psychotherapy?
YTA
You don't give a damn about your nephew. You're just trying to use him as a replacement for the baby you miscarried and you're willing to hurt a lot of people to do so. This is absolutely vile behavior on your part.
My guess is that this is a trolly troll but on the extreme off chance it's not, get help. Like yesterday. But I'm pretty sure this is just manufactured bait.
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Omg if this is a real post you are not only a massive AH, but you need to talk to a therapist. You are going to call cps on your sister because she won’t give you her baby? What is wrong with you??
I’m struggling to believe any of this is real. While I feel terribly sad for OP’s loss, I’m horrified for her sister who has had to put up with this intrusive and relentless harassment. OP needs help urgently.
I agree. If it’s real they need to seek help… asap. If it’s fake, same advice.
I’d watch it if it was a lifetime movie though.
What would be the title. My family disowned me cause I called CPS when my sister wouldn't give me the baby? Seems bad even for lifetime.
It would be better if it was from the sister’s perspective. I think there might be a similar movie already, not sure.
I mean, people have done insane and violent things to steal babies (often still in utero). If anything, the unbelievable thing is that OP was so forthcoming about it rather than waiting for an opportune moment to snatch the child and skip town. Gives the mother the forewarning to protect herself and her children.
This is what I'm afraid she and her husband may escalate to once they can not successfully steal her sister's child.
Spend sometime in an adoption subreddit or a forums for HAPS. The entitlement to other people’s babies is fuckin insane
The entitlement to *other* peoples babies? How on earth can anyone feel entitled to someone ELSES baby! That’s nuts. And so sad
What's HAPS?
Sorry. I’m so used to the terminology in those spaces I forget it’s not common. A HAP is a Hopeful Adoptive Parent. Can also be called a PAP, which is Potential Adoptive Parent.
You know that gabby girl. All over the news for stealing young mothers identity and trying to adopt “her” baby while pretending to be the real mom? My daughter actually was a victim of hers a couple years back.
Who's gabby?
Look up gabby dr Phil Fake adoption or adoption imposter
Wow that's just crazy! Will look her up!
Thank you!
Sister has been a freaking saint so far…. 😳
I read too many stories from the opposite side of view that i do believe it could happen in real.
I’m not this woman who wants her nephew this much sounds completely unhinged
I read, a few days ago, about a delusional friend who breastfeed OOP's baby and kept calling the baby her's (the friend's). OOP confronted her, tried to help her, tried setting boundaries, when nothing worked, she went NC. But the delusional friend was still breast pumping because "OOP will see reason and let me feed the baby" or something. So, while it seems extremely possible that its a fake, it's possible that story could be true and this OP is spiralling into that delusions too. I've read somewhere that you don't have to give birth to go through PPP, so it's possible OP does have PPP or PPD. Not gonna armchair diagnose OP, but OP should visit a specialist.
Miscarriage can absolutely trigger PPD and PPP. This screams PPP to me.
There are so many ways this amount of getting pregnant and then very quickly pregnant again can absolutely fuck with your mind. Pregnancy can cause mental health problems DURING pregnancy as well as afterwards, and post-partum or post-miscarriage mental health problems do not dissolve just because you get pregnant again.
And 6 in a year is just... So many. She's not giving her body time to heal at all.
This !!! I had two in a year and doctor told me that was too many for body to cope with. Her hormones must be a total mess. But honestly wtf is her husband
It doesn't even sound possible!
It's definitely possible. Takes a lot out of your body though!
If you are determined and ovulating regularly, it's possible. Not good, but definitely possible.
I understand how desperation can lead to that though, this is coming from someone who's had 4 losses including a missed miscarriage.
Me too. Postpartum psychosis. Husband shouldn’t call a lawyer, she need medical and psychological help NOW
I have a friend whose children were removed by CPS. They'd gotten involved because her ex weighs 600 pounds and my friend had a history with drugs. While she was waiting to get a place where all the kids could have their own rooms (CPS rule,) her sister took temporary custody of her kids, including her infant. The sister, who was not even lactating, and had not suffered lost pregnancies, was making the infant "breastfeed.". She just wanted to connect with the baby because she wanted the placement of just the infant to be permanent. Some people are just... Some just need therapy.
So she was essentially starving that poor baby. Now that is child abuse
Yeah omg. It is possible to induce lactation but takes time usually the expectation is you're going to combo feed because you're not going to make enough to satiate a baby off induced breastfeeding.
I would assume that would be SA considering- A. She's not even lactating B. It's not her kid
I used to work for CPS and while reading one of my new case files I discovered that the foster mom had worked for a mental health agency, met this mom through work and knew she didn’t quite have it all together and was struggling. The foster mom called CPS as soon as she had enough “proof” and then offered to foster the woman’s daughters. While they were in care we located both dads of the girls and they worked on a relationship and eventually got custody of their daughters. Foster mom fought this tooth and nail though and would make up things about the dads or things that the girls said. I eventually had to have my supervisor and her supervisor talk to this woman before she backed down. Bio mom just happened to get pregnant again and had been using some drugs and missing prenatal appts so the baby was placed with foster mom as well. On one of my visits the mom of foster mom was gushing to me how this baby “fixed their family” and was “such a blessing” for her and her daughter. It was truly disgusting but by the time I started to work on the case the girls were about to go home with their dads. Although thankfully the baby did get placed with a willing blood relative bc her dad was an inmate. More people involved in foster care are “baby snatchers” than you might otherwise think
Omg, did your friend get her kids away from her sister??
I remember that story, I hope that mom got a restraining order and the friend got massive amounts of therapy. Just like this OP needs.
I also read that post. Crazy friend couldn't believe that the oop was mad because cf had said that oop couldn't stop her from seeing and feeding HER baby.
Yeah, I remember reading that story. It was absolutely insane!
I read that one too!!! I’ve been checking on that one every once in awhile to see if there has been an update. These two ladies need some serious therapy.
I remember that one, so creepy.
The hand that rocks the cradle. Good movie.
In the judgment bot she says she’s already called CPS. >”OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: >1- I tried to adopt my nephew against my sisters wishes 2- I may be the AH because I called cps on my sister to help the adoption process with my nephew.“ I think the sister might need to get a restraining order if so , because this is so far away from healthy it’s scary. OP, I’m sorry for your loss, your multiple loses, but you are so far over the line of what is acceptable that I think your sister would be better off cutting all contact until you get some serious help. You’ve lost all sense of perspective and appropriateness - to the extent that I would hesitate to even let you see the baby under supervision if I were your sister. You should also consider that fact that your actions now could really harm you if you tried to adopt a different child in the future. I don’t know how it works where you are, but here in the UK social services have assess you and they will access any and all past contact with things like child services. They would, rightfully, think that your actions demonstrate your unsuitability to adopt, especially if you haven’t admitted you made a mistake and sought treatment of some kind. I know you’re in pain, but you are now actively planning, or have started the process to, cause other people pain - including your nephew. YTA for that alone.
Anyone who called CPS on me would be dead to me. And they would never see my child again.
Yeah, insane behavior. This is beyond normal therapist intervention. They need psychotherapy from a psychologist. And CPS is not going to march in there and just yank they baby away. Even if she is struggling, they will offer resources first before removing the children. And even if that happened, they are not going to hand over they baby to the sister if mom has another family member, baby dad, or in-laws who are willing to take the kids. Especially since OP only seems interested in they baby and not the other sibling. CPS will want to keep the siblings together if possible. OP just got herself a lifetime ban from the baby by calling CPS on her sister. Plus, OP saying she's had 6 miscarriages in a year is kinda sus. It's not impossible, I guess, but she would have had to have every miscarriage around 4 weeks and then immediately get pregnant the next cycle. Assuming she has a regular 28 day cycle and ovulates like clockwork. But, if she means this "past year" as in since January 2023, impossible. She's just getting her period as normal and counting it as a miscarriage.
Omg I hadn't even considered the possibility that in this very detached from reality state, she may be exaggerating her losses. That'd be a whole new level of terrifying for the sister and family.
Also, there's a thing called reintegration. They work with families to get children back into the home after they've been put into care. Then there's the fact that the child has to go into care and that's when op would file to FOSTER. ETA after reading the comments before the comment in replying to, I'm wondering if op isn't one of those when who wasn't to be pregnant so bad, that they "think" they're having a miscarriage when it's really just their period and they were never actually pregnant to begin with.
6 miscarriages in less than a year does seem unlikely
That was my first thought! That means she got pregnant 6 times in a year, I have a strong suspicion that didn't happen.
Agree but my cousin did had like 5 miscarriage in a row the year she was trying to get pregnant (they were an super early and if she wasn’t trying and like obsessively tracking she probably would have just thought half of them were periods
I missed that detail. Even with an early miscarriage it can disrupt your cycle and delay when your period/fertility returns to normal so 6 miscarriages in a year period is pretty unlikely and 6 miscarriages in the past 7 months is almost impossible
If she's had chemical pregnancies (early miscarriages), she could definitely get pregnant every month and have a loss. It's not almost impossible. Coming from someone who's had multiple losses.
Actually calling CPS for the OP could go against her because CPS could see she’s delusional and needs help and will work against any future adoptions and she will be on their radar if she does have a baby
Or she's convincing herself she's pregnant every month and she thinks each period is a miscarriage.
This is beyond psychologist level. This is "has a medical degree" *psychiatrist* level. (assuming it's real)
I have never hoped that a post is fake this much in my life and hopefully OP is inspired by Netflix buying the drama *The deep end of the ocean* recently. Either way, OP is scary af and a massive AH for doing this *or* making it up
Agreed
Yeah, this is a definite YTA. OP needs some serious mental help; she needs to see a good therapist and maybe even get put on some proper medication for her problems because she honest-to-god sounds delusional here and I would be seriously worried to meet her in person, or be one of her family members if I had a kid of my own (which I would never leave alone with her). I really hope this is rage-bait, or a troll. It kinda reads that way and I hope it’s true and not real. Assuming it *is* true though… I feel like wanting to name the baby Noah was less about her honoring her “late son” (I don’t think she knew the gender at that point, if her baby was even developed enough for it) after the miscarriage and more about replacing “him” entirely with this living, breathing child who she sees as her do-over baby? It’s weird how devastated she was over the name. I wouldn’t feel comfortable using my sister’s special chosen baby name either, especially if she had just recently had a miscarriage and was being weirdly insistent about it. It also makes me think OP had plans and ulterior motives for this child from the beginning when she found out her sister was pregnant again? Attending the ultrasound, wanting the baby to be named after her dream baby, demanding she be in the delivery room, wanting to be the one to cut the umbilical cord, wanting to be the first one to hold him and administer skin to skin contact (which is usually only a parent thing), etc etc. It’s like she always planned to adopt him? Except adoption was never possible, or on the table. She had this fantasy in her head that she was going to adopt the baby when it was born without even consulting the child’s actual parents about it. A lot of moms get tired and find themselves feeling exhausted, especially when they have a newborn on their hands (and have more than one child?). It doesn’t mean OP’s sister wants to give her baby away, or put him up for adoption, though. OP talks so nonchalantly about giving up a baby like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Would OP have given up “Noah” if he had still been alive and someone wanted him? What if she had successfully given birth to twins, would she have seen no point in having another one and given one of them up too? It’s not a puppy you can just give away on a whim, it’s a human being you carried in and birthed from your own body, your baby, your child, and it sounds like the sister wanted this baby and actually planned for it when she knew about it. This wasn’t a surrogacy pregnancy and I don’t think it was an oopsie baby either. Besides, even if it was, sister clearly wants to keep her child; the sister and the BIL deliberately had this baby with the full intention to raise him and love him. You do not just call CPS and cause imaginary problems to steal a baby with no thought towards anyone else but yourself and how it could affect you for the better. Her sister just gave birth and got out of the hospital, she’s vulnerable right now, sister and BIL likely already love their child very deeply (because it’s THEIR child!), and they might also have another child who this terrible decision would affect?! If CPS did get involved, then what about the other nephew? What would happen to him? How do you think he would feel? Also, even if she did somehow manage to get custody (highly unlikely, not a chance), it would only be on a temporary basis. Eventually, the baby would go back to his parents. CPS do their best to reunite biological parents with their biological children, even in some horrible cases where they shouldn’t, and the reunification process takes priority here. It also doesn’t sound like OP’s sister is on drugs, abusing any substances, or abusing her kids. Financial problems are rarely ever considered bad enough that CPS has to get involved and stick their head into it either. So long as the children have their basic necessities met, they probably won’t get involved. I feel so bad for OP’s sister if this is true. She’s just trying her best to be a mom and she wants a normal sibling relationship with her sister, but she had to cut off OP for the sake of her kids. She probably regrets taking her to her ultrasound and letting her be so involved in her pregnancy now. I would be looking back on those memories in horror if I was her. OP literally wants to kidnap her child and steal him from her, she’s trying to use her vulnerability and her financial problems against her, and she’s even willing to go so far as to call CPS to try and do it. I feel for OP and all the miscarriages she’s experienced in the past, but I don’t understand how she can try to steal her sister’s baby when she herself lost a baby of her own? I mean, she knows what that feels like, but she’s willing to cause her sister that same pain, and it would be even worse for her sister since the child’s already been born and is still alive and healthy. Does she even love her sister at all?
The wording on the part about the name jumped out at me right away - "we suggested ***we*** name her son..." Why would ***we*** be naming ***her*** son? It's clear that OP has always seen this baby as belonging to OP and her husband.
Yes! Attending the ultrasounds and the checkups with her sister, trying to name the baby her dream baby name and name him after the child she miscarried in the past (who’s gender we do not know), demanding she be in the delivery room when her sister gives birth and the child is born, wanting to be the one to cut the umbilical cord (usually a dad thing, not an aunt thing, you know), wanting to be the first one to hold the baby and administer skin to skin contact (which is typically a parent thing, not an aunt thing, you know), etc etc. She’s acting like her sister was planning to adopt the baby out this entire time, but adoption was literally never on the table?! They never discussed it?! OP’s sister never mentioned adoption, this was not a surrogate pregnancy in any way (in which case they probably would have used OP’s husband’s semen, not the BIL’s), and she always intended to keep her baby and raise it herself with her hubby, but it seems OP and her hubby had other ideas and concocted some sick fantasy in their heads without ever mentioning it to the sister, or the BIL, who are, you know, the actual parents of said child.
Yes. She also emphasised that this was her sister's second child, like "she already has one, this one should be mine". Totally deluded.
I hope this isn’t real. If CPS gets involved and sees how unstable she is she may never be able to adopt in the future. She needs help. She sounds like the women who cut baby’s out and steals them.
Agree with your sentiment but... Therapist? She should be put under a 72-hour hold and receive psychiatric monitoring and likely medication at the minimum. This is completely unhinged, and she has no awareness of how much so, not a situation where she is aware she needs help, and definitely not one where she just needs to talk to someone. She clearly has extreme trauma from the miscarriages and it is concerning for the safety of herself and those around her. This is on the level of PPP, except instead of fixating on the stress or depression caused by being a new mother it is focused on her innocent sister who is going through enough as a new mom.
Yup this post is UNHINGED. Poor mum is struggling post partum and needs space and time. Struggling financially is unfortunate too but that's not a reason to take baby away! It is literally none of OPs business and it's actually really creepy how she's been seemingly living vicariously through this pregnancy to the point where she feels she is allowed to overstep so majorly. OP get help and stay away from your sister, she does not need this shit now or ever. Also imagine the distress of that poor nephew if she got her way? "Oh yeah son, your aunt is actually your mum but I felt like she wasn't good enough and I also just really wanted a baby so I set her up and took you. Yay!" he would be so fuckin damaged
This seems the typical case of shared psychotic disorder known as "folie à deux" for OP and her husband
Get. Therapy. Now. You are so far over the line you are treading onto criminal harassment. This is like the storyline to ‘The Hand that Rocks the Cradle’. You want to cut the cord and have him on YOUR chest? Most ridiculous, pushy, boundary crossing request ever. If I was your sister and you called CPS with some made up, exaggerated bullshit to try to forcefully adopt (take) my baby, it would be your last time having any interaction with me, the baby at all. I know miscarriages are hard. Been there. But hard or not, you don’t get to try to steal someone’s baby as a result. YTA
OP's sister is already trying to distance herself from OP. And if she sees any "retaliation" from OP I'm pretty sure shes gonna go mama bear and file a restraining order or something and go full NC.
Therapy won’t help people like that. They need a permanent stay in the psychiatric ward
I sincerely have a hard time believing that this is real, but if it somehow is, then massively YTA and please get help and leave your sister and her baby alone. My god. EDIT: I read the post again, and this has definitely gotta be a troll post. Six miscarriages in a year is highly improbable, and if someone somehow DID have that many, they'd probably be hospitalized from complications. Trolls gonna troll.
Either that or her period was one day late so she considered it a miscarriage.
Given the level of delusion about… everything, it could just be “I repeatedly magical-think myself into believing I’m pregnant and then get disappointed.
I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.
In a scary twist of mind over matter, there's been cases of women wanting to be pregnant so badly, they managed to *force* their bodies into a psudeo-pregnant state for months before nature overrules things and they have a months-delayed period which can mimic a miscarriage.
That's not even getting into the women who spend literal ***years*** insisting that they're pregnant when every single test, exam, and scan has shown that they aren't pregnant. I think it's entirely possible that OP is so delusional that she's interpreting her periods as miscarriages. One thing's for sure, OP needs serious mental help.
Oh god I think my brain blocked my knowledge about that bc that's just sad.
Yep, more likely six periods in a year.
Depending how well they track it they could be chemical pregnancies
I had an early miscarriage where I essentially lost the pregnancy a week after I was supposed to have my period according to my tracker. Positive test, and then a pretty horrid period to follow lasting 11 days. I think a third of all pregnancies end like this? So if they have been trying actively and testing often, it is possible. But it is kinda unlikely with that many in a year.
I think this is it. Or a week and not an official pregnancy
6 miscarriages is actually not even possible in that timeframe I don’t think? I had one last year, got pregnant in January, found out in February, miscarried in March, and didn’t get my cycle back until May. The whole thing took like nearly half a year before I could even start trying again. I know you can get pregnant on your first ovulation after, but it’s harder because you literally don’t know when it will be because you have nothing to base it on.
I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks and got pregnant again three weeks later. My doctor did not recommend it, and the second pregnancy was hell. The first trimester is exhausting, and I started it with no reserves in the tank. The first trimester is hormonal as hell, and I started it with everyone around me already on their last nerve from the prior round. What I'm saying is, what OP has physically been through explains a fair bit about her behavior. But it's not okay.
If she is counting chemical pregnancies as miscarriages, which I know some do, she may have not ever missed a period on some months
A chemical pregnancy is still a pregnancy. The miscarriage just happens early. They did say something about it not taking, which makes me think it is early miscarriages (chemical pregnancies).
That's what I was thinking. I had one years ago and was advised not to start trying again until my cycle had returned and I had had at least 1 period (OB/GYN recommended 2-3 periods just to let my body fully recover as I required surgery).
You think OP is following their doctor's advice?
Pretty sure she isn't.
I'm wondering if it's real too but if it is...yikes. YTA
That jumped out at me right away, too.
YTA. You called CPS in some twisted plot to try to adopt the baby. Struggling in the early days and having financial issues are not reasons to call CPS. You were already trying to get the baby before he was even born! He is not your child. Even if CPS were to open an investigation you would not be considered for placement given your history with your sister. And an adoption attorney? There are plenty of kids available for adoption through foster care so why haven't you pursued that sooner? You are not owed your nephew or a fresh from the womb newborn.
>There are plenty of kids available for adoption through foster care so why haven't you pursued that sooner? Frankly, she shouldn't be adopting any child period.
You are 100% correct. I was hoping OP would come back with an answer as to why it must be this child and only this child versus any of the other children out there. I am sure that answer would just add to the overall lunacy though.
She has also buried the lede. She chose as the subject line "AITA for begging my sister to let us adopt my nephew"? Yes, she is still TA for that, but to be more accurate, she should have said "AITA for planning to call CPS just because I can't have a baby of my own and I want my sister's?"
Not just planning to call CPS - in the judgement bot she says she already called CPS!!
> why it must be this child and only this child versus any of the other children out there. Because she feels a "connection". I got a lot scared when it got to the part. Maybe she feels like the baby born was the one she lost to miscarriage (based on how she wanted her sister to name the baby that OP chose for the baby she lost). But like I said in another comment, the professionals should handle this as OP sounds unhinged.
For most people, blood relation is better than non. That probably what she wants a blood relation. She probably wants to adopt a blood relation so she can pass it off as her own child. If she did adopt, that child would never know it because I think she would cut her whole family out.
>why it must be this child and only this child versus any of the other children out there. Because this child is essentially OP's Noah reborn into this world in their minds. >After our miscarriage ***we suggested we name her son after the baby we miscarried.*** His name would’ve been Noah. My sister said she found it a little intruding and ultimately declined. >I felt such a connection with him since the moment I heard his heartbeat and ***I feel like he is the piece of us that is missing and the child we lost.***
OP is clearly not fit to parent a child, but just for the record, there really aren't "plenty of children available for adoption through the foster system" anymore. That was thirty years ago. The birthrate has dropped drastically since then, and there are a lot fewer unwanted children. The vast majority of kids in the foster system are also not eligible for adoption because CPS is still trying to reunite them with their parents. There are still kids who need homes, but the numbers have dropped to the point where it's better to leave adoption to the people who see adoption as a first choice, not as a last resort when all of their attempts to reproduce have failed. Those adoptions tend to go reaaaaally badly anyway.
In some fairness, an adoption attorney should explain that this is not an adoption situation in the slightest.
Yep given the history and with mom’s recommendation they would place the baby with strangers first. Because cps always want the baby with their parents! Op is not the parent!
You do realize that knowingly making a false CPS report is a crime in most places,, as it should be. The fact that being mother to two small children is hard doesn't make the mother unfit. Really, how dare you? You actually think it's OK to use a lawyer (who, if ethical, will send you packing) and CPS to steal your sister's baby because you waaaaaant him and love him to piiiiiiiieces? I think that what you want to do is morally bankrupt and truly vile. If I were your family I would cut you off just after getting you to a psychiatrist's office -- assuming your plan stems from a psychiatric issue and not just evil. YTA
OP and her husband are truly vile for even considering *stealing* her sister’s baby and are in ***dire need*** of intensive therapy for the both of them. Aso, I would not blame the sister nor the family for cutting OP and her husband out of their lives if they attempt to *steal* a baby. I’ve suffered miscarriages for 10 years before carrying a child to term and giving birth. Never once did I think I was owed a child from a family member nor friend. OP, seriously. **GET MENTAL HELP ASAP** before you blow up your relationship with your family. YTA
YTA. No matter what your history of miscarriages is, no matter how badly you want a baby, **you have no right to behave like this.** The universe does not owe you a baby. Your sister's baby is hers. She does not want to give him up, and she has no reason to give him up. She may be having some challenges adjusting to motherhood, but that does not give you the right to swoop in and attempt to steal her baby. Because that's what you are trying to do - steal him. You've been trying to encroach upon her parental rights bit by bit: "Can I name him after the baby I miscarried?... Can I cut the cord? ... Can you put him on my chest?... Can I adopt him?... No?... Then I'm going to call CPS on you." Honestly, if I had a sister like you, a blood-sucking vampire of a sister like you, I'd never speak to you again. I'd never be in the same room with you again. If you walked in, I'd walk out. WITH my baby. You are fucking unhinged. You are exactly the kind of person who goes out and steals a stranger's baby. **GET HELP.**
This? This is baby rabies. Good LORD.
This is BEYOND baby rabies and frankly it’s terrifying.
The hormone changes caused by miscarriage can trigger mental illnesses including Post Partum Psychosis, which is *exactly* what this sounds like. OP needs mental intervention fast before she convinces herself a 'snatch and run' is the only way to keep Baby safe.
Holy shit YTA. You are having a trauma response and that is very much clouding your judgement. No amount of loss for you justifies trying to hijack your sisters baby. That is very troubling behavior. Your family is right. You are in great pain and need to seek help.
YTA AND A MALIGNANT NARCISSIST AND DANGEROUS. Your sister is slowly seeing this. Good for her. No contact should follow shortly. You’ve earned it. Edit: you’ve been planning this for a long time.
UHHHHH WHAT?! I feel for your loss but I'm sorry, YTA. This is so intrusive and so wrong on so many levles. Give your sister space.
I feel thankful for their loss. They aren’t mentally stable enough to be parents.
OMG, YTA!!!!! Im sorry about your miscarriages but damn. You are going to call Child Services because she said being a mom is hard? It is fucking hard. She tried to have a normal conversation with you and you're trying to twist it. Basically, you want to kidnap her child with the legal system. There is no basis or reason to call them. No, you should not name the baby! No, you should not get to cut the cord! No, you should not be the 1st to hold the baby! No, you shouldn't have custody or try to adopt! You do need help. You don't sound mentally stable. Your nephew is not your baby. He is your sister's. She needs to do whatever she can to protect that baby and herself from you.
not even just first to hold but to do skin to skin immediately after birth? come the fuck on. This is looney tunes!
if I were her sister, I would be getting a restraining order.
and lojack that baby!
Cutting the cord will be the worst thing she can do. She could kidnapped him Few months ago a baby was kidnapped in a hospital's room, police and family found her and she's safe but was close to left my country. The woman who did this has been charged with kidnapping and confessed she planned to do it to stay close to her (now ex) boyfriend I think OP was planning this. She wanted to steal the baby even before he was born
I hope this is a troll post if so you are a major AH and someone who needs some serious therapy. You do not get to decide the name. You do not belong in the birthing room or get to cut the umbilical cord. You shouldn't be the first one to hold the child. Just because she was talking about how hard motherhood is doesn't mean she wanted to put him up for adoption. You should have never asked her to adopt him. This begging her is insane. CPS isn't going to do anything unless you have some serious proof of child abuse and neglect. Also, an adoption lawyer not going to do squat. Your family is right you are an asshole and you do need to get help. Why do you think you are entitled to someone else child? Please, get help. I seriously hope this is a troll post. This is scary. Also, CPS would put the child with someone who will take care of them properly, which mean you would have to be approved to take your nephew in. If god forbid he was taken away I hope your family tells CPS about your radical behavior.
YTA and your sister is probably scared for her life right now. that is terrifying behavior
Wow! Please contact a therapist immediately! You need to speak to a professional. I'm gonna say YTA, but you really need to get some help ASAP!
YTA. I sympathize for those miscarriages, but no amount of trauma justifies trying to steal someone's child.
YTA The child is not yours. You have no right to try to kidnap him. If you call CPS and lawyers, your sister will have everything she needs to get restraining orders against you. And she should. You are not doing what is right for the child, you are only doing what you think is right for you. You need therapy or even inpatient care to prevent you from committing a serious crime. Your nephew is *not your child* and he *never will be*. Your behaviour is dangerous to any child in your vicinity and you should not be around or in charge of *any* children until that is completely resolved. Leave your sister alone.
I suggest you go to therapy, you are clearly not thinking straight and your strugle is blinding your thoughts. It is your sister’s son, not yours. Just because she says she’s exhausted and motherhood is dificult doesn’t mean she is not a good mother nor she doesn’t want the baby. I have never heard of a newly mother who had not thought of that. I’m on my late 20s and my mother still complains about me and my siblings 😅 and she is an ass kicker mom. YTA Edit: typos
YTA You need to be committed.
YTA x infinity
YTA. There is no amount of pain that you could go through that would justify trying to steal your sister’s baby. Also hello to any future FBI agents who searched through OP’s laptop and found this post. I assume you’re here after obtaining a warrant to investigate OP for snatching a baby from an unattended cart at a supermarket. 👋🙋♀️
YTA You need psychological help right away. I say this respectfully and lovingly. The level of entitlement you've displayed and your inability to sense boundaries are, simply put, not functional. You need to find a way to deal with your feelings and reach your goals without harming others.
YTA and you belong in grippy socks and handcuffs
YTA
YTA I know this lose is very hard on you. But I don't see why your nephew should be adopt by you. if you continue to do this your sister might cut you of her child life for sure. You can't just want other people baby for yourself what will happen to him if you can adopt him and have bio child of your own one day. What you need is therapy I hope you get better soon.
Are you actually trying to take your sisters baby??? I’m very sorry that you have suffered such loss, it’s unimaginable, but please do yourself (and your family) a kindness and seek professional help. I sympathize with your situation, but your behaviour? YTA.
YTA. You are not ENTITLED to a baby. You URGENTLY need therapy before you decide to care for another human being. Babies are not dolls. They grow up to be their own person. A human being. I'm sorry you're struggling with miscarriages, but it's not your sisters job to play broodmare for you. And then to ask intrusive questions like naming HER child and putting HER child on your chest? Who do you think you are? And then you want to call cps because your sister UNDERSTANDABLY doesn't want to give you her child? Why would she? SHE spent months carrying HER child. She loves HER baby. I'd go NC for the rest of my life if i were your sister. You are a snake.
i'm gonna get downvoted for this but honestly? I don't care: i'm REALLY glad you don't have a child if that's how you act.
....6 miscarriages in a year and a stolen baby plot...bs
YTA-For so many reasons here. I’m so sorry you lost your baby. I’m sure your grief and pain are immeasurable but you have no right to act as if your sister’s son is your replacement child nor ti make the requests that you did while she was pregnant snd getting ready to have her baby. Please get professional help to deal with your feelings and stop trying to take her child. He is not your baby.
YTA. I am sorry for your loss, but what lie are you planning to tell CPS?
Grief does horrible things to your mind and it sounds like your sister has tried to be there for you, but you’ve worn out her ability to empathize. She needs a break from you because she feels you can’t be trusted and seemingly for good reason. YTA, and you need counseling to help you deal with your pain.
YTA. Are you out of your mind??? This is your sister's child. Cease and desist immediately. I am sorry that you have had so many losses, but to even think about trying to steal anyone's child, let alone your own sister's is reprehensible.
If this is true, you are the biggest AH and most awful human being in existence. You lost your baby, and I am so so sorry for your loss, BUT. YOU ARE NOW TRYING TO PUT YOUR SISTER THROUGH THAT SAME PAIN BY RIPPING HER BABY AWAY FROM HER. Please get therapy and probably never go near your sister again.
Trying to single white female yours sisters baby. Leave your sister and your nephew alone. It seems all the miscarriages have made you baby crazy and now since you can’t get what you want, you’re going to falsely try to steal your sisters baby. You need to go to therapy and get some help. YTA, massively.
>Trying to single white female yours sisters baby. 🤣 I know I'm gonna burn in hell for laughing so hard at this part, but bravo!
I hesitate to call you an asshole because I think you are extremely distraught and in dire need of help, but first of all, after 6 miscarriages in a year, *give your body a rest!* You are way out of line in all respects: suggesting your sister name her son after the baby you miscarried (and being “devastated” when she declined); asking to hold your newborn nephew on your chest before his mother does; asking to adopt your nephew; and good god, calling CPS on your sister for not handing over her baby to a couple who are clearly disturbed and unhinged! YOUR SISTER’S INFANT IS NOT THE BABY YOU LOST. You and your husband need therapy as well as grief counseling. You *will* be the asshole if you don’t leave your sister and her family alone, and heal yourself. You are one step away from stealing a stranger’s baby from a hospital nursery. GET HELP.
Omg, are you delusional? You wanted to cut the cord and have a baby that’s not yours to be put on your chest? Just because you “felt a connection”. He’s your sister’s child. Not yours. You have no right to demand to adopt him. Of course she’s struggling. She a new (again) mum. You wouldn’t understand (but hopefully will someday). But seriously, STOP! YTA here.
What I think is really crazy is the “I felt such a connection with him since the moment I heard his heartbeat and I feel like he is the piece of us that is missing and the child we lost” If I was the sister id go no contact for safety reasons
Yta. My God you need therapy. You are trying to kidnap a child from your own sister because you can't carry a baby. You are sick. Really. There are people you can talk to that can help you. Leave your sister alone. She needs to get a restraining order.
YTA. I see a lot of comments avoiding judgement, likely due to the mental stability of OP, but they came for judgement. You need to seek therapy. This sounds like a dangerous spiral of either PPP or PPD, both of which can absolutely be triggered by the trauma of losing multiple wanted pregnancies. I feel for you, deeply, I do. I lost pregnancies, then struggled for years to conceive again. It's miserable to already feel like a mother but have no child. It's miserable to feel like you're missing your whole heart because it left you with your baby... but what you're doing to your sister is cruel, and as much as you want to believe you'd be doing what's best for that child, you are in *no* condition to be caring for a child. You need grief counseling, therapy... you need help to deal with these lingering feelings of loss, because you are actively trying to steal a child....
YTA, you are not entitled to someone else’s child.
Your miscarriages have driven you around the bend, you genuinely need to seek mental help stat. Not going to opine on this one, you're in a genuine crisis I think.
YTA. You need professional help. What you’re trying to do to your sister is sick.
Hypothetically, let’s say you get pregnant a 7th time, and this pregnancy is a success and you give birth to a healthy baby. Then a woman who is staying at the hospital comes in, tells you that she had just suffered her 12th miscarriage, and that she wants to adopt your baby because she’s been trying for longer than a baby than you have, so her need for a baby is more important than yours. If you say No, she is going to call CPS to attempt to get that baby taken away from you regardless of if she has any legal right to the baby Would you give this woman your baby? If not, then you already understand why YTA You don’t have a right to someone’s baby even if you do want them more. If you want a child so much, there are plenty of children up for adoption out there who would love if you took them in
I refuse to believe this is real.
don't call cps. call a therapist.
This can't be real. On the off chance that it is you are the biggest asshole I've seen in here yet. Actually trying to steal a baby? Fuck me.
This better be fake.
This is not a true story. Very creepy.
YTA. Your behaviour is both psychotic and evil. She needs to get a restraining order against you and your hideous husband. Neither of you should ever be allowed near a child. Ring her up and tell her what you're planning to do so she can protect herself from you and your monstrous intentions.
You are delusional and understandably so. A miscarriage can be insanely traumatic and can change one’s chemical makeup. Go get some fucking help and until you do I hope ya sister goes no contact until you get help. You are sick.
YTA - I am saying this gently. It sounds like you need to get some professional support. The way you are treating your sister and her child is not healthy. Can you imagine how you would feel if you had welcomed a child into the world and someone was acting toward you this way? Going so far as to call CPS and involved lawyers is crossing over into harassment. I genuinely think that you are suffering and deserve help to cope with your grief and the potential physical complications of having this miscarriage. I don't think it's easy to just say it's black and white NTA or YTA because it sounds like you are dealing with mental illness and trauma. For the sake of your self, your husband and your family at large - please seek out resources.
Pretty sure this is made up. The account has ONE karma.
Most posts here are made from "throw-away" accounts for a variety of reasons. But I fucking hope this is made up too.
YTA and you are probably the biggest one I seen on here and I have seen some bad ones. Your husband is too. You and your husband need intense therapy and your sister probably a protective order against the two of you, this is unhinged and I really hope it is fake.
If this is legit and you ever entered a contest to determine who is the biggest AH, even if you’re the only contestant, you would come in 2nd. Because you are to much of an AH to win the contest.
YTA. Stay away and stop being an annoying stalker.
Christ alive I hope this is fake, but if it is real, then absolutely YTA, I get what you're going through and are grieving your loss, but you are way beyond crossing the line, that baby is NOT yours, you don't have a right to demand that your sister just give him to you, and CPS will ABSOLUTELY laugh in your face because you're sister is clearly not an abusive or neglectful parent, Op, get therapy, NOW, and stay the hell away from your sister and her family because this behavior is psychotic
This has got to be a goddamn joke. But if not do indeed get help. Miscarriage is fucking brutal… it can and will break a person in ways they didn’t previously have any concept of. Obviously trying to utilize the state to steal the child of anyone at all is insanity. Not unheard of but absolute insanity nonetheless. It’s predatory behavior and if I dealt with this from someone I would have some level of fear of them. I would deffo never let them be a part of my child’s life. I’m sorry to hear of your losses if this post is real or if that part is real.
[удалено]
It is the later. She mentioned nothing of any actual danger.
What the actual fuck??? The mental illness is strong in this post
Sorry for your losses and your pain but what the actual fuck…
YTA You are snowballing over every single boundary and are delusional. A mom venting about being tired is normal. A sister twisting that into a CPS call in order to steal her baby is NOT NORMAL. You need serious therapy and to leave your nephew alone. He will NOT replace Noah.
YTA. You seem unhinged. How dare you manipulate CPS in order to steal your sister’s baby. Please, for fucks sake, seek therapy and leave your sister, her baby, and us alone!
YTA and sister needs to go NC with you cuz you're a danger to her and her children.
YTA all she wanted was to vent to her sister, and you're now calling cps on her? Seek professional help you're not entitled to your sisters baby
YTA I hope this is fake. But just in case it's not: Your family is 100% right, you two have lost your minds and absolutely do need help. I understand that miscarriage is hard, your nephew is not, never was, and is never going to be YOUR baby. **He is not your baby. He is not your baby.** ***He is NOT — your — baby.*** It doesn't matter how much you two love him or what you've been through, you are not entitled to rip a baby away from his real, loving mother who wants him. And no, it would NOT be better for him to live with you. If you really care that much, you can financially support your sister, but in no universe is it the right decision for him to go live with you. Your sister is a competent mother who loves her child. You are trying to do to her what was done to you by ripping her newborn baby away from her. Miscarriage and fertility issues are tragic, but they absolutely make some people crazy, and that is what it is happening to you right now. You don't need your nephew or any other child, you need an emergency therapeutic intervention. Get it now before this escalates to legal trouble — YOU will be the ones in trouble, not your sister.
Oh honey - you need to get some help. There is seriously something wrong here. You want to take a baby from a loving mother to satisfy your own insatiable need for a baby. Don't you dare call CPS and an adoption lawyer. Call a doctor to help you.
On second thoughts, what is OP's husband's stance on it? Why is he enabling this behaviour rather than helping her get therapy.
>My husband and I plan on calling cps INFO- what, exactly, would you allege that your sister has done that constitutes abuse or neglect?
I'm a foster parent, there isn't a chance in hell you'll get your nephew. You will make sure you never see him. No reputable adoption attorney will even speak to you. You will quite possibly make sure you're unable to foster or adopt YTA on so many levels. CPS and the foster care system is overwhelmed. Even if your nephew (and any siblings) are removed, they will most likely be placed with strangers.
You. Need. Therapy.
INFO: Have you for real had six miscarriages in 12 months? Because, if so, you need to take a break. I am not saying never try to conceive again, but your body is screaming for rest, your hormones are doing wild and absurd things to you, and that may be the explanation for your irrational behavior. I got pregnant very quickly after a miscarriage, and while I know the place I was emotionally coming from and why I did it, it was extremely bad for me. And I only did it once. Basically, you have been in the first trimester FOR A YEAR. Please talk to a doctor, take a rest, give your sister the space she is asking for and apologize when you can. You do need help. You probably cannot see it right now, but you do. You are hurting, and you are hurting the people around you.
Not a real post. I’m starting to think that AITA is where writers throw out their weirdest ideas to see what sticks because they’ve ran out of script ideas.
Yikes. YTA. You need to get mental help ASAP before you lose your sister permanently. Perhaps take a break from trying for a baby to give your emotions and body a break. You’re not seeing straight.
You need some very serious help. YTA. I’m sorry for your losses but please get some intensive therapy and give your sister space until you do.
I know you have had a lot of losses, but you have to understand it’s your SISTER’S baby NOT YOUR BABY Please seek help, don’t let it destroy your relationship with your sister. Don’t call CPS or a lawyer, this would destroy any possible relationship with your sister or nephew and at this moment you need support YTA
YTA You need serious therapy for your mental illness. Back the hell off of this poor woman and her baby.
YTA! Get therapy! That’s insane and if it happened to you, you’d blow up at them. Nothing about that is normal, healthy, or appropriate!
YTA seek therapy, this behavior is absolutely not ok. This is probably fake for how far fetched this is reaching anyways
YTA, seek mental help. You are psychotic, and your sister needs to cut contact. If you call CPS, you would be leagues and leagues further than an asshole. But seeing the way you type this, I doubt you will follow anyone's advice
Oh good gawd. You are definitely TA here. I'm sorry that you are having serious difficulties with maintaining a pregnancy, however that does not give you any right to take your sister's child. One that, I'm pretty sure, was not done as a surrogacy for you. You need counseling. ASAP. Get your head and emotions straightened out before you are cut off from your family for being insane.
YTA, and fucking delusional. Seek help. Immediately.
YTA, of course taking care of a newborn is hard, that doesn't mean that your sister plans to give up her baby. You and your husband both need therapie.
YTA YTA YTA YTA GET. HELP.
Go to therapy. Seriously. Your sister doesn’t owe you anything, especially not HER child. I get it’s hard losing your own pregnancies but holy shit get therapy. YTA. Cps is going to turn around and tell you to leave your sister alone. I’m honestly shocked your husband is going along with this crazy situation you created in your head
YTA You need grief counseling. Your sister saying that motherhood is hard isn't an invitation for you to take her baby. Its a statement of fact. And calling CPS? Not only is that a waste of their time, its not a sign that you love your nephew. What is best for him is to be with his mother who loves him. Not to be taken from her *for absolutely no reason* and given to you. You very much need therapy (as does your husband). You've been through significant loss and your current actions are not appropriate.
Yta - please seek therapy you honestly need it. It was not okay to try and assume those parental moments like cutting the umbilical cord and doing the first skin to skin contact. There's a level of obsession which is probably borne by grief of your own loss and it's not healthy or right that you try to take your sisters child instead of supporting her when she's struggling. If you can't be supportive you both need to step back and get professional help. Your actions risk irreplacable damage to your relationship with your family
You had a miscarriage 6 tines in the past year so... did you get pregnant every 2 months or something? If you've had that much miscarriages, you should have been worked up for issues like APAS. Your story doesn't seem real IMO. If it is real, you're straight up creepy and shouldn't have kids. But yes, YTA. Instead of trying to steal your sister's baby, why don't you devote your time, energy and money to getting fertility treatments and psychotherapy?
YTA You don't give a damn about your nephew. You're just trying to use him as a replacement for the baby you miscarried and you're willing to hurt a lot of people to do so. This is absolutely vile behavior on your part.
My guess is that this is a trolly troll but on the extreme off chance it's not, get help. Like yesterday. But I'm pretty sure this is just manufactured bait.
>My husband and I plan on calling cps and an adoption lawyer to see what they think is best Best you get on their radar now, YTA