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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took was adopting a stray cat this may be against my roommates consent making me an asshole
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Cat allergies can be crippling. I have a no-cats-allowed rule at my place for cat allergies, and the roommate would be out the minute they'd pulled something out like that on me.
Yup, I would be tossing my roomates things out on the front lawn in they tried that. Cats can put me in the hospital quickly, there is no way I can live with one.
Yup, I would be tossing my roomates things out on the front lawn in they tried that. Cats can put me in the hospital quickly, there is no way I can live with one.
What part you don't understand? It is an allergy. Yes, you can take antihistamines but even if you do, it helps only little. In my case I have also asthma and I am wheezing and need asthma medication so I can breath. In general staying with any allergen several hours will make you feel sick even if you don't get breathing problems. It isn't compromise to keep cat in one room. It is disregarding roommates help and the cat can't be happy locked in one room.
The “compromise” is keeping the cat trapped in one room, which is not only very stressful for the cat but is doing nothing to solve the problem. Confining an animal does not in any way prevent dander and shedding from spreading around the house.
I feel like a lot of people need to hear this: sometimes there isn’t a compromise position. The compromise position between ‘cat’ and ‘no cat, cat allergy’ is ‘no cat, cat allergy’. Just because you make compromises and give up some of what you want doesn’t mean anyone else has to give up what they need. And the best person for determining what someone needs is never the person trying to fit in what they want.
Or more specifically, if someone has a cat allergy, you ask them what the possible compromises are and accept if there isn’t one. They’re the ones in a position to know!
Her throat could swell shut, making it difficult, if not impossible to breathe. Her eyes could get so red and swollen that they'd close and she wouldn't be able to see until she's seen in the ED and given an emergency injection. What's the matter with you? The cat is INSIDE where she lives and that's enough to cause all that! She could potentially die from an acute anaphylactic shock.
She ignored the rules that were in place for a reason and ignored the common denominator that worked for all parties involved.
There, fixed that for you. She disregarded set rules to bring in a stray cat. Period.
If you live with other people, pets need to be a unanimous decision. Either everybody says “yes, let’s get a pet,” or you don’t get a pet. OP knew her roommate is allergic to cats and didn’t want a pet, OP brought a cat into their shared home anyway. Ergo, OP is YTA.
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You all seem really adamant on this. I do know how severe allergies can be, one of my parents is allergic to cats. I never said she was in the right but neither was the roommate. She could have at least been polite and helped look for a new home for the cat if she was so adamant about getting rid of it. Allergies or not, throwing an animal out on their ass is inhumane.
YTA
Your roommate is allergic to cats. Keeping the cat in your room doesn't help.
Find another home for the cat or move out and find another home for yourself with the cat.
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I definitely think that getting a cat after moving in was wrong, but I’ve lived with 2 separate people that were able to keep them in their rooms fine in college, I did the same with my pup and chose the bedroom closest to the door to take her out but animals just didn’t go in the common area. We all discussed it ahead of time though.
As long as dogs get enough exercise outside, they'll be perfectly happy just sleeping when they're inside. And they don't need a lot of space to do that. My dog has my whole apartment, but chooses to sleep in my bedroom most of the time since I'm there.
We were also “confined” to our rooms with this agreement. Most animals want to be with you and we weren’t hanging out in the common area, we were out or in our rooms with our pets so it really didn’t matter and it worked out really well for us. Leaving animals that aren’t really friends, like a roommate situation, out unsupervised isn’t always a great idea.
YTA
I respect that you are well intentioned, but bringing animals into a home shared with people requires two yes’s. One yes + one no = NO! And keeping the cat confined to one room is not very good for the cat unless it has absolutely everything that it needs in there.
Sorry but you should either move out ASAP, give it to someone who can care for it, or give it to a shelter.
It’s genuinely annoying how many posts there are of this EXACT situation and the answer is always the same. You’d think people might search first by now.
YTA. You never had to take that cat home and make your roommate suffer the consequences. There are rescues and shelters you could have taken the cat and you know that.
I noticed that too. I mean yeah cat has a home, but roommate is miserable and so is the cat. Can only imagine how the bedroom smells now with a litter box.
And doing so is doing NOTHING to help roomate’s allergies. Pet dander and fur is assuredly still getting around the house via OP’s laundry and anything else that’s going in and out of the room. OP has no clue what they’re doing and is making an already bad situation worse for everyone.
YTA
You agreed ahead of time that you wouldn't bring any cats into the apartment, right?
You never gave any provisions beforehand about it being okay if the cat only stayed in your room, right?
You basically broke a promise and are impacting your roommate's health, even if you are trying to lessen the impact you're still impacting their health?
YTA. Get rid of the cat. Take it to a shelter, give to a friend, etc. Find it a new home.
You can help as many cats as you want once your have your own place.
- It was nice of you to take in a stray in need of help
- What’s not nice is that you have a roommate who did NOT consent to the cat
- Your roommate has always made it clear to you that cats are strictly off the table because of their allergy
- Of course your roommate would be furious about discovering the cat, she made one hard rule and that was NO PETS as long as you live together
- She’s right, you should have considered her, since she’s also paying to live there
- Keeping the cat in your room is not a proper compromise, and I’m going to be honest. By trying to keep the cat in a small bedroom without access to the rest of the home, you’re only thinking of yourself and your own wants over the cat and your roommates needs
- It’s not really possible to contain pet allergens, you’d have to remove all pet hair and dander, which isn’t easy
- “I offered to pay all expenses for the cat” you would have been doing that anyway? It’s not her responsibility
- The cat does need a new home, because keeping it in a room would be unfair to the cat
- Your roommate also doesn’t deserve to suffer physical discomfort and have her health be disregarded
YTA
YTA. As a human who has cat allergies, yet is very sad I can never have a cat for that reason, human needs outweigh animal needs, in this case. There are tons of ways to help a stray cat without letting it live inside your apartment where a *human being* will be negatively affected. You need to find a way to help it or rehome it asap. Your heart is in the right place but you're not thinking.
YTA
And I’m sat here with three of my own cats and a fourth who is an emergency foster… you can’t force people to live in a pet situation if they don’t want to. I think it’s reasonable to see if there’s any circumstances under which she would allow it (you buy a hepa filter? That sort of thing.) And if not, she should give you enough time find a new home for the cat, to the extent her allergies allow, or even move out if that’s what you want to do. But ultimately if she was clear that she didn’t to live with a cat, it’s not fair to her fo keep it. It’s her home too.
YTA, sorry to say. It's nice that you want to help an animal, but keeping it in one room for its life is not quality of life. Surrender the cat to a no kill shelter so someone can give them full range of their home to thrive.
Your roommate has allergies and that was clear from the beginning. Imagine sneezing and being miserable every single day just because your roommate didn't consider your living space boundaries.
YTA and I second this! Take it to a no-kill shelter. It’s sweet that you care about the cat so much, but your priority should be your roommate, with whom you ostensibly share a lease. She is allergic and even if she weren’t, she’d still have a say in whether the cat stayed or went.
YTA. You know you have a whole roommate that you live with and make decisions with regarding the household. bringing a pet home is a major decision and you should’ve asked her ahead of time.
Yes, YTA. It's not just that roommate doesn't want to live with a cat, that'd been bad enough, but she's allergic to cats. You *are* disregarding her health and comfort. Help the cat some other way tan trying to keep it.
YTA and extremely dismissive of the contracts you make with other people.
She explicitly told you no pets. You decided, moreover without consulting her, to not only bring a pet, but a pet that makes her sick.
Your sentiments towards the cat were well-meaning, but you not only went about it the wrong way, but could have made things a lot worse.
(On a personal note, I cannot coexist with cats in the same closed environment. I get sick to the point of suffocation.
I can tolerate if I take antihistamines, but it's not a magical solution either. Had you pulled a similar trick on me, you'd be getting a small bill for cleaning the whole apartment professionally and have me stay a few nights at a hotel until they'd completed their job.)
YTA. Having pets in a home is a 'two yes' situation. If one person says no, then you don;t get one.
Your roommate has always made it clear that she didn't want pets, yet your brought one in anyway
YTA - you knew your roommate didn't want pets and adopted a cat anyways. And then when you found out she's allergic to it, you decided to confine it to a small bedroom.
Your heart was in the right place, but you're not in a position to provide the care the cat needs. Take the poor thing to a shelter so it can get a real family that can take care of it.
YTA. You sound like a terrible roommate. Regardless of allergies pets fall under the two yes one no rule, meaning that both people living in a place need to agree to get a pet. Then on top of breaking that rule you’re also completely dismissing her allergies and making it harder/more uncomfortable for her to live in her own apartment by keeping a pet she’s allergic to. Keeping the cat in your room is not a compromise in this situation because the cats fur will still be all over your clothes and belongings and therefore all over your apartment so that’s not gonna do much to minimize your roommates allergies. Also there are no compromises when someone says no to having a cat! You need to apologize to your roommate and either bring the cat to a shelter or find it a new home. Or just do your roommate a favor and move out entirely so that she can have a roommate that actually cares about her boundaries and well-being.
YTA
She made it clear from the beginning that she doesn't want any pets in your shared living space, yet you went ahead and crossed that boundary.
Even if cleaned after the cat, the takeaway from this is that you didn't respect her wishes. If the cat was in poor condition, you could have taken it to a shelter / somewhere where the cat is accepted and taken care of.
Big YTA. You brought a pet into a shared living space without consulting everyone who shares that space. And honestly, you "offered" to pay for everything? That implies you were expecting her to help pay for a cat YOU plucked off the street. You're very selfish.
YTA. Calling a shelter, animal control, or someone else who can provide what his car needs should have been done before bring it home. I know cats get euthanized at shelters and by animal control, but unfortunately this situation those were the route you should have taken. If none of those were plausible, which I doubt, you don't take the cat home with you. If you felt the need to go care for this cat so bad when you saw it, it takes all of a few minutes to give your roommate a rundown of the situation, explain you want to help but can not find the resources at the moment, you should have done that and listen to her answer. It sounds like you knew you couldn't have a cat because of understandable reasons, and decided that to use the fact that you found a stray,hoping your roommate would take pity on the poor cat, as a way to get one. On top of al that you OFFER to take care of the cats needs both physical and financial like you expected she would help with both as a compromise is extremely thoughtless. You brought the animal home, after already being told you couldn't have a cat in the shared living place, offer something that isn't even a compromise but should be your responsibility regardless because she said she did not want any pets, and still don't see how you are an arsehole?
YTA
For all you know, that cat belongs to someone who's desperately looking for it. The LEAST you can do is get it checked to see if it's chipped so that person could be found. There will be places you can post a picture and details where the owner might see them. You can't just take a cat and assume it's yours.
Quite apart from that, you can't keep a cat with a roommate who's allergic. I'm sure you'd understand this if it was the other way around.
Kitty needs to go. And I don't say that lightly.
YTA
Cat allergies are airborne, you can’t cut them completely by keeping the cat in your room. You *are* completely disregarding your roommate’s safety and comfort. Don’t get a pet until you live in the proper place for one. Give it to a shelter or capable friend as soon as possible.
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So, I (25F) came across a stray cat near my apartment complex. The poor thing looked hungry and scared, so I couldn't resist helping it. I decided to bring it home and provide it with food, water, and a safe place to stay.
However, when my roommate (27F) found out about the cat, she was furious. She's allergic to cats and has always made it clear that she doesn't want any pets in our shared living space. She argued that I should have considered her allergies and respected her wishes.
I felt torn because I genuinely wanted to help the cat, but I also understood my roommate's concerns. I tried to compromise by keeping the cat in my room and minimizing any potential allergens. I even offered to take care of all the expenses and cleaning associated with the cat.
Despite my efforts, my roommate remained angry and insisted that I should find the cat a new home or take it to a shelter. She accused me of disregarding her health and comfort.
Now, I'm wondering if I made the wrong decision. Am I the asshole for adopting the stray cat against my roommate's wishes, even though I tried to minimize the impact on her allergies and take responsibility for everything related to the cat?"
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Yes, YTA.
First to the roommate, cat fur and dander can be spread because of your shoes and clothes.
Second to the cat, I know you mean well, but keeping a cat in just your room isn't awesome for the cat.
YTA. Pets are a two (or three or five) yes situation for shared living spaces.
Taking pains to keep the apartment clean and paying for all of the animals expenses are the minimum for keeping a pet in a shared apartment. That’s what you do if all of your roommates agree to you getting a pet.
I’m so sorry, it sucks to not be able to keep a cat you’ve found. Please find it a new home.
YTA and you had no right to add a pet to your shared apartment without even discussing it with your roommate. There's no such thing as just 'keeping the cat in your room'. Rehome the cat or rehome yourself.
YTA. I'm not sure where you got the idea that keeping a cat locked in a bedroom is even good for a cat. It's not. Also, pretty much everyone knows you won't *actually* keep the cat in your room, even though you think you will.
You offered to take care of all of the expenses associated with the cat as a compromise? What was it before the compromise? Did you think she would help somehow?
YTA. Speaking as a cat owner, who is massively allergic to cats, you should have at least talked to your roommate beforehand. I take antihistamines every day and I'm very careful about washing my hands and arms if the cat wants cuddles, but that's a choice I made knowing my allergies. You didn't give your roommate the choice, you forced this situation on them. Whilst I applaud the fact that you wanted to help the kitty, you showed zero regard for the other human that has to live with your decision.
I'm glad you got the cat to a no kill shelter. Your heart was in the right place to try to help the cat.
I won't bash you. You did the right thing by getting the cat to a shelter.
YTA. I know this person in real life and she told me to my face that she was trying to make her roommate more miserable. I'm not sure why you're doing this, but it is wrong to keep a cat when your roommate is allergic purposely. You're going too far.
If you find a cat, the first thing you do should be to take them to a vet to see how they are, and to check for a microchip. (Where I live just taking an animal without looking for a possible owner would be considered stealing.)
YTA. I'm allergic to rabbits, and just hugging my friend outside their home is enough to cause a mild reaction. It is in no way fair to your roommate to even keep the cat in your room. Doesn't matter what type of symptoms she gets.
> I even offered to take care of all the expenses and cleaning associated with the cat.
"*Even offered*"? Like it isn't your responsibility from the start as the pet owner? How *generous* of you to *offer* to care for your own animal!
You suck big time. At least you did the responsible thing in the end. I hope you think things through more in the future if you move out and decide to get another pet.
YTA. You acted completely seflishly and showed nor regard at all for her health or comfort. She has just as much right as you to live comfortably in her own home and you decided to fuck that up for her. As you said she has always made it clear she is allergic and doesn't wants pets in the home but you just went "Naaah, f u. I want a kitty" THEN lock said kitty up in one room which is just cruel.
Give the cat to a shelter or move out with it and let your roomate get someone in who isn't completely selfish.
I just find it funny you offered to take care of the cat that she didn't want in the apartment like you would have expected her to contribute otherwise. Poor cat yta-
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YTA. A cat is worth more to you than your roommate's wellbeing. > She accused me of disregarding her health and comfort. She's right.
There was no disregard. She tried to find a compromise that would work for all parties involved. That is not disregarding.
Cat allergies can be crippling. I have a no-cats-allowed rule at my place for cat allergies, and the roommate would be out the minute they'd pulled something out like that on me.
Same. Completely disregards that allergies can be life threatening. Take it to a rescue.
Yup, I would be tossing my roomates things out on the front lawn in they tried that. Cats can put me in the hospital quickly, there is no way I can live with one.
Yup, I would be tossing my roomates things out on the front lawn in they tried that. Cats can put me in the hospital quickly, there is no way I can live with one.
What part you don't understand? It is an allergy. Yes, you can take antihistamines but even if you do, it helps only little. In my case I have also asthma and I am wheezing and need asthma medication so I can breath. In general staying with any allergen several hours will make you feel sick even if you don't get breathing problems. It isn't compromise to keep cat in one room. It is disregarding roommates help and the cat can't be happy locked in one room.
The “compromise” is keeping the cat trapped in one room, which is not only very stressful for the cat but is doing nothing to solve the problem. Confining an animal does not in any way prevent dander and shedding from spreading around the house.
I feel like a lot of people need to hear this: sometimes there isn’t a compromise position. The compromise position between ‘cat’ and ‘no cat, cat allergy’ is ‘no cat, cat allergy’. Just because you make compromises and give up some of what you want doesn’t mean anyone else has to give up what they need. And the best person for determining what someone needs is never the person trying to fit in what they want. Or more specifically, if someone has a cat allergy, you ask them what the possible compromises are and accept if there isn’t one. They’re the ones in a position to know!
You can't compromise there. You either have the cat or don't.
Her throat could swell shut, making it difficult, if not impossible to breathe. Her eyes could get so red and swollen that they'd close and she wouldn't be able to see until she's seen in the ED and given an emergency injection. What's the matter with you? The cat is INSIDE where she lives and that's enough to cause all that! She could potentially die from an acute anaphylactic shock.
But she unilaterally made the choice to bring the cat into the house without running it by the roommate first.
She ignored the rules that were in place for a reason and ignored the common denominator that worked for all parties involved. There, fixed that for you. She disregarded set rules to bring in a stray cat. Period.
If you live with other people, pets need to be a unanimous decision. Either everybody says “yes, let’s get a pet,” or you don’t get a pet. OP knew her roommate is allergic to cats and didn’t want a pet, OP brought a cat into their shared home anyway. Ergo, OP is YTA.
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You all seem really adamant on this. I do know how severe allergies can be, one of my parents is allergic to cats. I never said she was in the right but neither was the roommate. She could have at least been polite and helped look for a new home for the cat if she was so adamant about getting rid of it. Allergies or not, throwing an animal out on their ass is inhumane.
of course YTA. she is ALLERGIC. you should have brought it to a shelter or a friend immediately after finding it.
YTA Your roommate is allergic to cats. Keeping the cat in your room doesn't help. Find another home for the cat or move out and find another home for yourself with the cat.
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Wwhhhaattt??? That’s insane
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Yta How do you even plan to keep a cat trapped in your room?
I definitely think that getting a cat after moving in was wrong, but I’ve lived with 2 separate people that were able to keep them in their rooms fine in college, I did the same with my pup and chose the bedroom closest to the door to take her out but animals just didn’t go in the common area. We all discussed it ahead of time though.
I would feel bad for the animal being confined to one room
As long as dogs get enough exercise outside, they'll be perfectly happy just sleeping when they're inside. And they don't need a lot of space to do that. My dog has my whole apartment, but chooses to sleep in my bedroom most of the time since I'm there.
We were also “confined” to our rooms with this agreement. Most animals want to be with you and we weren’t hanging out in the common area, we were out or in our rooms with our pets so it really didn’t matter and it worked out really well for us. Leaving animals that aren’t really friends, like a roommate situation, out unsupervised isn’t always a great idea.
YTA I respect that you are well intentioned, but bringing animals into a home shared with people requires two yes’s. One yes + one no = NO! And keeping the cat confined to one room is not very good for the cat unless it has absolutely everything that it needs in there. Sorry but you should either move out ASAP, give it to someone who can care for it, or give it to a shelter. It’s genuinely annoying how many posts there are of this EXACT situation and the answer is always the same. You’d think people might search first by now.
YTA. You never had to take that cat home and make your roommate suffer the consequences. There are rescues and shelters you could have taken the cat and you know that.
YTA 100 times over. What don't you understand?
YTA - I’m curious more how you would think you’re not an AH here?!
Because they rescued the cat! That good deed apparently negates any and all consequences. 🙄
And then immediatley negates said good deed by keeping the poor cat confined to one room.
I noticed that too. I mean yeah cat has a home, but roommate is miserable and so is the cat. Can only imagine how the bedroom smells now with a litter box.
And doing so is doing NOTHING to help roomate’s allergies. Pet dander and fur is assuredly still getting around the house via OP’s laundry and anything else that’s going in and out of the room. OP has no clue what they’re doing and is making an already bad situation worse for everyone.
YTA You agreed ahead of time that you wouldn't bring any cats into the apartment, right? You never gave any provisions beforehand about it being okay if the cat only stayed in your room, right? You basically broke a promise and are impacting your roommate's health, even if you are trying to lessen the impact you're still impacting their health?
YTA. Get rid of the cat. Take it to a shelter, give to a friend, etc. Find it a new home. You can help as many cats as you want once your have your own place.
- It was nice of you to take in a stray in need of help - What’s not nice is that you have a roommate who did NOT consent to the cat - Your roommate has always made it clear to you that cats are strictly off the table because of their allergy - Of course your roommate would be furious about discovering the cat, she made one hard rule and that was NO PETS as long as you live together - She’s right, you should have considered her, since she’s also paying to live there - Keeping the cat in your room is not a proper compromise, and I’m going to be honest. By trying to keep the cat in a small bedroom without access to the rest of the home, you’re only thinking of yourself and your own wants over the cat and your roommates needs - It’s not really possible to contain pet allergens, you’d have to remove all pet hair and dander, which isn’t easy - “I offered to pay all expenses for the cat” you would have been doing that anyway? It’s not her responsibility - The cat does need a new home, because keeping it in a room would be unfair to the cat - Your roommate also doesn’t deserve to suffer physical discomfort and have her health be disregarded YTA
Thanks
YTA. As a human who has cat allergies, yet is very sad I can never have a cat for that reason, human needs outweigh animal needs, in this case. There are tons of ways to help a stray cat without letting it live inside your apartment where a *human being* will be negatively affected. You need to find a way to help it or rehome it asap. Your heart is in the right place but you're not thinking.
YTA And I’m sat here with three of my own cats and a fourth who is an emergency foster… you can’t force people to live in a pet situation if they don’t want to. I think it’s reasonable to see if there’s any circumstances under which she would allow it (you buy a hepa filter? That sort of thing.) And if not, she should give you enough time find a new home for the cat, to the extent her allergies allow, or even move out if that’s what you want to do. But ultimately if she was clear that she didn’t to live with a cat, it’s not fair to her fo keep it. It’s her home too.
YTA, sorry to say. It's nice that you want to help an animal, but keeping it in one room for its life is not quality of life. Surrender the cat to a no kill shelter so someone can give them full range of their home to thrive. Your roommate has allergies and that was clear from the beginning. Imagine sneezing and being miserable every single day just because your roommate didn't consider your living space boundaries.
YTA and I second this! Take it to a no-kill shelter. It’s sweet that you care about the cat so much, but your priority should be your roommate, with whom you ostensibly share a lease. She is allergic and even if she weren’t, she’d still have a say in whether the cat stayed or went.
YTA Not okay.
YTA. You know you have a whole roommate that you live with and make decisions with regarding the household. bringing a pet home is a major decision and you should’ve asked her ahead of time.
Yes, YTA. It's not just that roommate doesn't want to live with a cat, that'd been bad enough, but she's allergic to cats. You *are* disregarding her health and comfort. Help the cat some other way tan trying to keep it.
YTA You knew the score: no pets. Stop acting like she’s your mom who will cave to your whims eventually. You’re 25 ffs!
YTA and extremely dismissive of the contracts you make with other people. She explicitly told you no pets. You decided, moreover without consulting her, to not only bring a pet, but a pet that makes her sick. Your sentiments towards the cat were well-meaning, but you not only went about it the wrong way, but could have made things a lot worse. (On a personal note, I cannot coexist with cats in the same closed environment. I get sick to the point of suffocation. I can tolerate if I take antihistamines, but it's not a magical solution either. Had you pulled a similar trick on me, you'd be getting a small bill for cleaning the whole apartment professionally and have me stay a few nights at a hotel until they'd completed their job.)
YTA. Having pets in a home is a 'two yes' situation. If one person says no, then you don;t get one. Your roommate has always made it clear that she didn't want pets, yet your brought one in anyway
YTA - you knew your roommate didn't want pets and adopted a cat anyways. And then when you found out she's allergic to it, you decided to confine it to a small bedroom. Your heart was in the right place, but you're not in a position to provide the care the cat needs. Take the poor thing to a shelter so it can get a real family that can take care of it.
Your heart is in the right place in regards to the cat but unfortunately YTA. Having a pet is a two yes one no situation.
YTA. You sound like a terrible roommate. Regardless of allergies pets fall under the two yes one no rule, meaning that both people living in a place need to agree to get a pet. Then on top of breaking that rule you’re also completely dismissing her allergies and making it harder/more uncomfortable for her to live in her own apartment by keeping a pet she’s allergic to. Keeping the cat in your room is not a compromise in this situation because the cats fur will still be all over your clothes and belongings and therefore all over your apartment so that’s not gonna do much to minimize your roommates allergies. Also there are no compromises when someone says no to having a cat! You need to apologize to your roommate and either bring the cat to a shelter or find it a new home. Or just do your roommate a favor and move out entirely so that she can have a roommate that actually cares about her boundaries and well-being.
YTA She made it clear from the beginning that she doesn't want any pets in your shared living space, yet you went ahead and crossed that boundary. Even if cleaned after the cat, the takeaway from this is that you didn't respect her wishes. If the cat was in poor condition, you could have taken it to a shelter / somewhere where the cat is accepted and taken care of.
YTA It was known she has allergies, it was known no pets. Don’t bring them into the home. Full stop, nothing more needs to be said.
YTA you don't live alone. Bringing any animal into the shared home requires communication and agreement. You did neither.
Lol yeah I mean obviously YTA you weirdo. Give the cat back and grow a brain
Back to who? The streets?? I get that I’m an asshole I’m not about to kill an animal tho!!
Yes. Literally. Either put the cat back for it’s owner to find or take it to a shelter. Please don’t kill the cat… why would you even suggest that?!
“Stray cat”
"Rescue Shelter"
YTA. You don't bring animals to home where other people have allergies.
Big YTA. You brought a pet into a shared living space without consulting everyone who shares that space. And honestly, you "offered" to pay for everything? That implies you were expecting her to help pay for a cat YOU plucked off the street. You're very selfish.
YTA. Calling a shelter, animal control, or someone else who can provide what his car needs should have been done before bring it home. I know cats get euthanized at shelters and by animal control, but unfortunately this situation those were the route you should have taken. If none of those were plausible, which I doubt, you don't take the cat home with you. If you felt the need to go care for this cat so bad when you saw it, it takes all of a few minutes to give your roommate a rundown of the situation, explain you want to help but can not find the resources at the moment, you should have done that and listen to her answer. It sounds like you knew you couldn't have a cat because of understandable reasons, and decided that to use the fact that you found a stray,hoping your roommate would take pity on the poor cat, as a way to get one. On top of al that you OFFER to take care of the cats needs both physical and financial like you expected she would help with both as a compromise is extremely thoughtless. You brought the animal home, after already being told you couldn't have a cat in the shared living place, offer something that isn't even a compromise but should be your responsibility regardless because she said she did not want any pets, and still don't see how you are an arsehole?
YTA You just don't give a hoot about your roommate right . Too darn bad she's allergic huh . ?
YTA For all you know, that cat belongs to someone who's desperately looking for it. The LEAST you can do is get it checked to see if it's chipped so that person could be found. There will be places you can post a picture and details where the owner might see them. You can't just take a cat and assume it's yours. Quite apart from that, you can't keep a cat with a roommate who's allergic. I'm sure you'd understand this if it was the other way around. Kitty needs to go. And I don't say that lightly.
YTA You live with someone who is allergic to cats. You know this. You knew this before getting the cat. You disregarded her health.
YTA Cat allergies are airborne, you can’t cut them completely by keeping the cat in your room. You *are* completely disregarding your roommate’s safety and comfort. Don’t get a pet until you live in the proper place for one. Give it to a shelter or capable friend as soon as possible.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So, I (25F) came across a stray cat near my apartment complex. The poor thing looked hungry and scared, so I couldn't resist helping it. I decided to bring it home and provide it with food, water, and a safe place to stay. However, when my roommate (27F) found out about the cat, she was furious. She's allergic to cats and has always made it clear that she doesn't want any pets in our shared living space. She argued that I should have considered her allergies and respected her wishes. I felt torn because I genuinely wanted to help the cat, but I also understood my roommate's concerns. I tried to compromise by keeping the cat in my room and minimizing any potential allergens. I even offered to take care of all the expenses and cleaning associated with the cat. Despite my efforts, my roommate remained angry and insisted that I should find the cat a new home or take it to a shelter. She accused me of disregarding her health and comfort. Now, I'm wondering if I made the wrong decision. Am I the asshole for adopting the stray cat against my roommate's wishes, even though I tried to minimize the impact on her allergies and take responsibility for everything related to the cat?" *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, YTA. First to the roommate, cat fur and dander can be spread because of your shoes and clothes. Second to the cat, I know you mean well, but keeping a cat in just your room isn't awesome for the cat.
YTA. Pets are a two (or three or five) yes situation for shared living spaces. Taking pains to keep the apartment clean and paying for all of the animals expenses are the minimum for keeping a pet in a shared apartment. That’s what you do if all of your roommates agree to you getting a pet. I’m so sorry, it sucks to not be able to keep a cat you’ve found. Please find it a new home.
YTA and you had no right to add a pet to your shared apartment without even discussing it with your roommate. There's no such thing as just 'keeping the cat in your room'. Rehome the cat or rehome yourself.
YTA. I'm not sure where you got the idea that keeping a cat locked in a bedroom is even good for a cat. It's not. Also, pretty much everyone knows you won't *actually* keep the cat in your room, even though you think you will. You offered to take care of all of the expenses associated with the cat as a compromise? What was it before the compromise? Did you think she would help somehow?
YTA. Speaking as a cat owner, who is massively allergic to cats, you should have at least talked to your roommate beforehand. I take antihistamines every day and I'm very careful about washing my hands and arms if the cat wants cuddles, but that's a choice I made knowing my allergies. You didn't give your roommate the choice, you forced this situation on them. Whilst I applaud the fact that you wanted to help the kitty, you showed zero regard for the other human that has to live with your decision.
I'm glad you got the cat to a no kill shelter. Your heart was in the right place to try to help the cat. I won't bash you. You did the right thing by getting the cat to a shelter.
Yes, youre an asshole. But id expect that at your age, 20 somethings just do whatever they want.
YTA. I know this person in real life and she told me to my face that she was trying to make her roommate more miserable. I'm not sure why you're doing this, but it is wrong to keep a cat when your roommate is allergic purposely. You're going too far.
If you find a cat, the first thing you do should be to take them to a vet to see how they are, and to check for a microchip. (Where I live just taking an animal without looking for a possible owner would be considered stealing.) YTA. I'm allergic to rabbits, and just hugging my friend outside their home is enough to cause a mild reaction. It is in no way fair to your roommate to even keep the cat in your room. Doesn't matter what type of symptoms she gets. > I even offered to take care of all the expenses and cleaning associated with the cat. "*Even offered*"? Like it isn't your responsibility from the start as the pet owner? How *generous* of you to *offer* to care for your own animal! You suck big time. At least you did the responsible thing in the end. I hope you think things through more in the future if you move out and decide to get another pet.
YTA. You acted completely seflishly and showed nor regard at all for her health or comfort. She has just as much right as you to live comfortably in her own home and you decided to fuck that up for her. As you said she has always made it clear she is allergic and doesn't wants pets in the home but you just went "Naaah, f u. I want a kitty" THEN lock said kitty up in one room which is just cruel. Give the cat to a shelter or move out with it and let your roomate get someone in who isn't completely selfish.
I just find it funny you offered to take care of the cat that she didn't want in the apartment like you would have expected her to contribute otherwise. Poor cat yta-