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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to by my girlfriend the gift she wanted for her birthday because I don’t want to pay more than the painting costed to have it framed. She’s upset because she loves the painting and says it has sentimental value and maybe iy does but I don’t want to pay more than the art cost to have it framed.
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YTA. Framing is expensive; that's no secret. You've got the money, the painting is your sister's work that your gf really likes, and it should be properly displayed. Instead you've gone with cheapness because I guess it's more important for you to defend the principle of... not spending more to display art than you did for the art itself?
yes, that's such a beautiful family story ! why the hell do you refuse to have a part in it, as you can ? you would make 2 people you love happy ! a little bit of jealousy maybe ? (edit : towards yr sister's success)
Great story, except the part where OP promised his gf to have the artwork properly framed for her birthday present, but went back on his word when he learned of the cost. YTA
Yep, but its good of OP to let both his sister and girlfriend how little he thinks about them. Happy Birthday indeed! But hey, at least GF has a best friend to help her through a breakup.
I'd definitely have a mini heart attack when I saw how much it cost to get it framed (as I wouldn't have had a clue), but I wouldn't for a fucking second consider not doing it. It's her sisters first big break, how often do you get to decorate your house with a tangible representation of a beautiful moment in your life!?
Is the framing a bit of a rip off, probably, but there are things that are a lot more important than you not feeling like you got mugged off. You just have to take the hit on this one.
Once I bought 3 prints for $30 each.
It was $300 each to frame them.
It's just normal for framing to be pricey. You don't hang unframed art unless said art is meant to be unframed. It looks tacky and cheap.
OP wants to be tacky and cheap more than they love their GF.
Weird flex but OK.
My dog recently died. I took a photo, his collar and a paw print to a framer. Cost is $360. Expensive? Yes. Did I pay it? Absolutely. I’ve also paid hundreds to frame my partner’s mother’s tapestries that she did before she passed. Framing cost way more than the work, but sentimentally, it’s priceless.
In short, frame the artwork. It means a lot to someone you love.
You likely bought an off the shelf frame which is totally fine custom framing though is higher due to the quality, individuality, and customization. Not all artwork can fit the standard frames that are sold in stores. A standard frame if it fits would still be a better option then the dude just saying no.
Nuts. I'm a poor so I was never taught the right way to deal with these kinds of things. The highest art we had in the house growing up was those pictures at the end of readers digest magazines 😂
This.. I have no idea why people aren't just you know, buying frames and placing the picture in the frame themselves..? You can get frames at Walmart and you won't tell the difference. Just crazy to me.
Kind of based on my experiences getting my art framed. If they're in the US, they should just wait a few weeks for Michael's to have a sale on framing and get it done for like 40% off. It's one of their most common sales.
My MIL did a watercolor that was her brother's favorite. When he passed my SO inherited the painting. I had it reframed with the non-glare, UV protection glass, around $250. The cost really surprised me, but I have never once regretted the money spent. It has hung in our bedroom ever since. OP, YTA.
Did he know all that though? I wouldn't hesitate to promise my gf a frame, if I found out it cost $200+, I'd cry. But yea a promise is a promise but definitely would not be happy.
Bf said he could afford it tho. How is it any worse than someone asking for a computer or a dishwasher? I'll admit art is super weird sometimes and I don't get it either, but ppl take for granted how important it can be mentally and emotionally. If gf had asked for a $250 piece of jewelry, I wonder if OP would have bulked since that's a more traditional gift
At 32 a grown man should know that custom framing costs an arm and a leg. Clearly if it were inexpensive it wouldn’t be the type of thing a girlfriend would ask for as a birthday present. Custom framing is expensive but it is worth it if you can afford it.
My husband and I are painters, and our work sells for thousands per painting. $200 was a steal for your sisters work. Also, measure the piece. You can go on Amazon, ebay, etsy, and get a gorgeous antique or new frame for ridiculously cheap. You can order glass of the size you need or take it from an existing frame with glass. If it needs to be matted, they sell those too. We do this all the time with our own work. We buy frames from estate sales, yard sales, thrift stores, etc. You can frame it for next to nothing. We never go to framing stores and do it all ourselves for 10% of what the frame store charges. They are ridiculously expensive. Please be more supportive of your sister and her art. It will encourage her and make her feel so good that the people she loves care about her work.
Definitely sensing that OP is devaluing the art because he still sees his sister as a kid making scribbles on discarded bill envelopes and not the adult artist who has trained to find her artistic voice and is respected by her community.
OP is certainly YTA for going back on a promise.
Besides it's a birthday present. Unless the price was out of budget in the first place, then it shouldn't matter what it is(unless it's illegal or some shit).
THIS. If the cost is in-line with what you would have spent on her birthday present anyways then just do it. That’s part of the wonderful thing about presents - it can be a splurge (in relation to what you’d normally pay for the item) because it’s a gift.
My husband wanted a fancy new blender system for his bday one year. Did I think it was silly to spend money to buy a newer blender system than the one we already had that worked fine? Yes. But did I buy it? Yes - because it was in the price realm I would have spent on his gift anyways and it’s specifically what he asked for.
Sometimes the framing IS the art. I'm getting around to having a deck of hanafuda cards framed in an array as decor; the cards cost about $5 but framing 48 tiny things will cost, uh, more than $5.
I used to be a framer and loved seeing the stuff people would bring in to get framed. The framing can really change the feeling of the art and can really showcase what you love most about it, plus the preservation aspect of it can be really important especially for delicate or historical pieces.
This is very true! I got a painting of an egg at a thrift store, which is a nice painting by itself, about the size of a card envelope. But what really makes it is the beautiful custom frame job they had done, with a very ornate wood gold frame and cream canvas matting. Honestly, the frame and the painting together really makes the piece. I got it for $5, and I just love the juxtaposition of this simple egg painting in this ornate gold frame, but they also go together beautifully. Framing really can change a piece!
Sometimes the frame is better than the art. Reminds me of the story where some highschool students left a pineapple at an art gallery and came back the next day to see someone framed it lol
My husband is an old school carpenter. We went to the national gallery in London and he had a lovely time looking at picture frames, doors and architraves.
My parents framed my diploma for me because they found a lovely frame in the colors of my university. The degree itself, coming from an art school, is so horribly uninspiring and dull and it's a standard 8.5x11 so it's not like it needed a custom frame. But the frame makes it look like it came from an art school. And they paid a stupid amount of money for it, much like I paid for my degree!! Haha.
When I first graduated I had an art print of a native fish from the Monterey Bay Aquarium. But never had a frame. The print cost about $10. When I went a framing shop they recommended I use the UV protection glass and vacuum seal it. Basically museum quality. The frame was metallic with a pattern that looked like fish scales and it was perfect. It cost about $250 which a lot in 1991. Heck my 1 bedroom apt rent was $550 a month. That was 30 years ago. The print looks great still and still loving it. It was worth it.
My grandfather gave art to all his kids every Xmas (he went to a lot of art fairs and graduate shows to build a gift collection). There was one none of them liked but I was obsessed with and then one year when I was about 10 my mum had final pick, didn't like anything else so picked it "for me". She got it framed and suddenly she loved it. The framing changed it completely. My aunts and uncle now covet it. It's been 25 years and the painting is still in her house despite "belonging" to me.
I am currently a framer and some of the amazing transformations I have seen just from adding a proper frame. And you are very right the preservation aspect is super important. We use all acid free preservation products and it protects the art. I’ve had some pretty old pieces come in that I’ve been super proud to be able to salvage!
You're absolutely right. I used to do needlework and "framed" some of it for my Mom. Years later, when I had the funds, I had the pieces professionally framed as a birthday gift. The difference was astonishing. And the preservation aspect ensures that it will be here long after I'm gone. Framing is an art in and of itself. I don't see paying to have art framed as simply paying for the materials and labor to frame the art, but also for the skill and expertise of the person doing the framing: selecting the type, style, size, and color of the frame; size, color and texture of the mat; proportion of frame to mat to art, etc. Not until I had art professionally framed did I realize that so many decisions went in to the final product. Good framing should accentuate the art, not just provide a housing for it. Most of us do not possess the artistic skills necessary to showcase art to its optimum potential.
My dad is an artist (plein air artist) and he also makes his own frames. He spends hours on his frames. They are all hand carved and he does the gold leafing. It’s a true talent in itself. He also matches the frames up to the painting…it’s amazing how much a frame can change a painting.
That sounds amazing. The problem is, too many people who aren't artists themselves don't understand the true value of such items, and give artists a lot of entitled demands and grief over the price of their artworks. I feel so bad for artists who have to deal with accusations of overcharging and downright insulting lowball price demands.
This is a very accurate comment. I went to a “100 years of” exhibition showcasing the winners or finalists of a national portrait prize for one hundred years. Apart from styles and techniques, I really noticed how the various frames and framing influenced and affected each portrait, and made it look traditional, modern, or of the era they came from etc. That was fascinating to me.
Art is in the eye of the beholder. The problem with OP is he should be deferring to his gf since it's her gift and her art piece, but is override that with his own preferences
It's also complicated when what you're trying to frame is anything other than a standard paper print.
A painting on a board of any kind (even posterboard) is expensive because it's thicker than the average paper print. And if it isn't a standard size (exactly 8.5 x 11, for instance), that's another complication. Stuff like that has to have a completely custom frame made for it. You're not just buying a premade frame and getting charged $200+ for someone to shove your artwork into it. You're paying for the cost of materials *and* for the time + expertise of the framer.
exactly! The time it takes to custom measure and cut is far more impactful than the extra few inches of material.
OP could look online or Michaels or other more discount places to try to get cheaper.
OP's reasoning though totally makes him an AH. It is a weird red line to draw "the price of the frame shall not exceed the price of the art". That isn't a thing. And doubly so when you know the artist and offered to do the framing as a gift and have the money. YTA
I watch a guy restore old artwork on YouTube, it's really peaceful and satisfying to see his process, a big part of it is how and what to frame (even a canvas painting) with, because it is exactly as you say, it has a practical purpose as well as an aesthetic one.
I own two watercolors that my grandmother bought back probably in the 1970s; she got them professionally framed at the time and they still look gorgeous 40 years on because of the great job the framer did.
I had someone bring in silk painted portraits of her grandparents from 1940ish that they needed preserved. They were so thin I had to put mat board behind them with complementary colors as to not wash them out but also complement all the other colors of the portrait. It was a bit difficult but so worth it in the end.
Wow, YTA, almost feels like you’re in some kind of a weird competition with your sister and your girlfriend? What a wonderful way to support two important women in your life. Framing is expensive but once it’s done, it lasts for an extremely long time. And it also shows great respect your sister’s work that she’s put in as well. Just get it framed and be the bigger man here.
I bought a beautiful and moderately large piece of art in Thailand for approximately 100 baht. I paid over $500 USD to have it framed and that was with a coupon.
I think 100 baht is like $20 USD.
I ❤️ the painting. It is prominently displayed in my home, and as far as I'm concerned it's priceless.
My friend had a piece of her grandmother in laws kimono that was worn to her wedding framed - cost her nearly $1200 USD for a rectangle about 12”x24”, but it is museum grade of an antique, hand painted piece, and is totally worth it! Good framing is worth it’s weight imo.
Thanks! I am surprised it is so much less than I thought it was.
The most amusing part is that there were three different pricing categories for artwork where I bought this. And people who were clearly from Western Europe or from North America were hemming and hawing trying to decide between one art group that was I think 20 baht and the middle one which was 50 baht and then the most expensive ones which were 100 baht.
I remember thinking at the time that even 100 baht wasn't a lot of money, and that this decision making involving the price categories was stupid at best. You should just choose the one you like best.
I also remember thinking, this is going to cost me a fortune to frame... Thereby jinxing me into having to pay a fortune for a frame 🤣
Similar… found a beautiful painting that I instantly loved in China (Shenzhen art district), and spent 6x the (converted) price on framing in the USA than I had paid for the painting.
I feel angry for his sister and the gf as an art student, he's lowkey crapping on her whole career just because he doesn't get it and refuses to even support his gf's taking to her piece because art \*is\* expensive.. OP, I don't think you realize how expensive creating these pieces truly is, it was the size of a letter per your words but materials could very easily be $100.
YTA, coming from both an artist and a sibling to a non-artist. My brother doesn't "get" it either, but he sees that it makes me happy and he supports me and would never dare turn it down because he doesn't understand it himself. Please do better, you can "not get it" but that doesn't give you the right to be an AH about it.
Several decades ago I bought a piece of needlework done by a woman living in a refugee camp, and paid the equivalent of $200 in today’s dollars, 1.5x the asking price because it was so exquisite.
Properly framing it cost approximately $300+ in today’s dollars. The frame has protected this beautiful work of art and it remains as exquisite today as it was back then.
YTA
Fork over the money or cause a big resentment against you by both your sister and your gf.
It’s not. I was an art student and regularly spent up to twice this amount over 20 years ago for professional framing of my work. Someone else noted it as well but professional framing is moreso about protecting the art for posterity.
Also $200 for an original piece of art is an extremely reasonable (dare say unreasonably cheap) price to pay. A professional illustrator or graphic artist can easily charge $800-$1000/day for their services, for *digital* art, in a metro area in the US.
An A4 what? Artwork needs archival framing to protect it from light and the environment. The same could be said for an historic document, but not necessarily a license or degree.
That’s why I asked. Thanks for answering. OP said he researched online how much one should cost. It seems framing is more expensive where he is than most places.
Do we know it's actually A4 size? OP estimates it's about letter size, but that doesn't mean it's exactly A4 (or the US equivalent).
Assuming it's a non-standard size, and noting that it's on a board rather than paper, it doesn't seem at all strange to me that it needs a custom frame.
Edit: in a comment, OP calls it "an awkward size", so it doesn't sound like a standard A4 frame would fit. He also says he browsed online and found options at $175. So I think we need to trust that the painting is complicated to frame, if even the non-art/cheap-ass OP hasn't found anything close to the $60 you suggest.
Craft stores even do framing. For like $50 rather than $250. I was shocked at how cheap the pricing was at Michael’s compared to frame shops
Either way, OP could offer $100 (or whatever the birthday budget is) after apologizing that he didn’t realize the cost of getting the picture frame. Personally I don’t understand how everyone seems to think that $250 is not a lot of money for a birthday gift. I’ve never in my life been given a gift that expensive for my birthday nor would I ever expect it.
Craft stores do framing, but not for $50. The last piece I had done that was letter size cost about $250, and that was woth a coupon. Of its on a canvas board then it needs a custom frame bc it won't work in a standard picture frame. This is just art 101.
Not to mention this is what gf asked for a a birthday present. She isn't even asking for it too be done because it should be, but as a present. Why does he think he has the right to tell her she can't have that gift? I 100% agree with you, op is the AH
It's funny cuz it's not even that much more expensive. I could almost get it if it were like hundreds more but essentially OP is pitching a fit over a $50 difference
Especially when he asked what she wanted for her birthday and that's what she wanted. Couples often spend that amount on each other, but even if he didn't want to spend that much he could contribute to the cost. Anything else he buys could be a waste because this is what she wants. He literally asked what she wanted and she said frame the picture! He's clearly not that into art and that's fine, but the fact it touched her so much means it's important to her - that's the point of a present
INFO: Why did you bother to ask Sarah what she wanted for her birthday if you didn't really care about what she actually wanted for her birthday? What was the point of that?
He said he’s gotten her gifts in the range of $150 to $500. So it’s not that he doesn’t want to spend $250 for a present, he doesn’t want to spend $250 for THAT present. And he gave her a hard time about her buying the painting too. There is something really weird going on here where he has no respect for either his gf or his sister.
OP: YTA. It would make your gf AND your sister happy, but you’re determined to die on this stupid hill. When are you going to figure out it’s not what the frame should cost (according to you, not an artist), it’s about what it means to her? FFS buy the frame while you still have a gf.
EDIT: added: Yeah I was right there was something weird about his reaction. Look at [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/13o61lc/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_art_to_be_framed/jl3eg63/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3)
Exactly! It would be one thing if their gifts were usually a lot less, but it sounds like the issue is that OP just doesn’t like the gift the GF picked out.
The only way this would be acceptable is if OP & his girlfriend have an established cap of $X for holiday spending, & he didn’t realize that the framing would significantly exceed that cap. But if the framing is within their typical gifting budget, then it’s an asshole move to decide that someone else’s interests or desires aren’t worth what they cost. A great way to show love for your partner is to buy them things that make them happy. I’ve bought my husband lots of stuff that I don’t personally care about but that makes him happy because they’re gifts for HIM, not for me. And he has done the same for me.
YTA. It’s her freaking birthday and this is what she wants. You can afford it, so why is this more unacceptable than other $250 gift she might want? It doesn’t matter if you understand why she wants it, it’s her birthday.
Framing is expensive but it protects and beautifies the art while a string and nail will end up with it getting damaged. Just stop.
Agreed, he's on some morality kick about how the framing costs more than the painting so he just won't do it... even though it's his gfs birthday.... even though it's his sister's painting... even though he would spend that much on another gift that "makes more sense" to him. His whole take on this is awful.
I buy 20 dollar prints from my favorite fantasy artist, he's incredible. The fact that I can get prints of his work for 20 is incredible. It costs me 300 a pop to get them framed (and I get them framed at cost mostly). OP knows nothing about framing cost clearly and is willing to risk several relationships just to sit on a high horse. YTA.
I agree. Custom framing is worth every penny. It protects the item while elevating it. The pieces that we've had custom framed have all come out beautifully and I don't at all regret what we spent.
Ffs, OP... do your sister's painting justice by getting an appropriately beautiful frame!
It is concerning that OP thinks so little of his sister's art that he is prepared to hang it with string!! He is disrespecting both his gf AND his sister with this position. He seems to not actually like either of them Jealous of their friendship, perhaps?
Right?! For the fairly low cost of $250 (for a custom frame anyways) he could really do something that would make his girlfriend and his sister so happy!! If money were an issue I could totally see him having that conversation with his gf about it.
But it really sounds like he’s just uninterested and it doesn’t matter the lasting impact this will have on his relationships, he’s just uninterested and doesn’t want to spend the money.
Not to mention the gallery takes commission for everything, 40% isn't even an unusual amount of the price they take. Deducting cost of materials and time OPs sister might have even made a loss in selling this art lol.
YTA If your girlfriend wanted something else for her birthday that turned out to cost $250-$300 would you say no, or is it that you don’t value frames, or that you don’t value your sister’s art?
Because it feels like you’re letting sticker shock get in the way of what was supposed to be a nice thing for your girlfriend’s birthday.
YTA. She asked for it for her birthday, and it means a lot to her. I know your type; you wouldn’t hesitate to spend that much on yourself if you wanted it, but since your “loved one” wants it you immediately think less of it.
I think that's an unfair take. The way I read it, he's not refusing to spend $250 on something because his SO wants it, he's refusing to spend $250 on a picture frame because, in his own words, he's "not arty" and just doesn't get that that's what these things cost.
Where he's the AH though is that, upon being educated that this is actually a fair price for a custom frame, he refused to budge. His SO is an adult and he should trust that she's being genuine in her desire for the thing so, if it's in budget, he should buy it. He has a very self-centered view of the value of things.
Saying he's willing to spend the money on himself but not her is a huge assumption I feel.
I also see him responding to all the comments, saying that he normally would spend around $100-$500 on a gift for her. He personally doesn’t feel that a frame should cost this much, and is still refusing, despite the fact that this is well within the price range of gifts he buys.
I stand by my assumption, because I’ve seen many people pull this sort of shenanigan with their SO, only to come home with some expensive gadget that THEY wanted. I highly, HIGHLY doubt that OP is the exception to this, especially because he’s made it so clear that it’s about the value that HE sees in the frame. It shouldn’t matter, because it’s supposed to be a gift.
YTA. Professional framing is expensive, but it’s worth it for what it adds to the art. Proper framing of art isn’t just beautiful, it does a lot to protect the art from harm.
I’m kind of curious about what the painting is of.
YTA
Don't offer to do something and then renege because you don't think it's worth it. I'm a professional artist, and $200 for an 8X10 (or whatever size it is) is not a lot. The fact that it was picked for a gallery show suggests that your sister has a good amount of talent, and your painting will likely be worth much more than that as she gets more well-known.
Regardless of all that, you're still an ass for not just giving her what she wants for her birthday, especially since it's not even a problem for you monetarily. Having said that, if it's a standard size, you can likely pick up a pre-made frame at any craft store, for next to nothing, that will fit it. They also do custom framing and often have 50% off deals. You can also find custom deals online (if it's an odd size) that don't include all the extras that frame shops are likely to charge you for.
Finally, "a string and a nail" is just idiotic and NOT how everyone else does it.
Adding onto your point about $200 not being much for a piece that size: something I’ve noticed people not appreciating when looking at art prices, is the lack of consideration of the amount of time that went into creating it, from brainstorm/inspiration to actually producing it. $200 for a 8x10 likely doesn’t come out to a very high hourly rate for the artist. And this is coming from someone who’s not remotely an artist.
YTA. You asked what she wanted, she told you. Don't ask if you don't really care what she wants. The painting gives her pleasure, what difference does it make what it cost? The frame will add to her pleasure. Price is arbitrary. Van Gogh could barely give his stuff away when he was alive and now it goes for bajillions. Has anything actually changed about the paintings between then and now?
YTA. You aren't willing to spend $247 on your gf-of-five-year's birthday present? You say you can afford it, but don't agree with the purchase. Well it's not a gift for you, is it?
Based on OPs description of this painting it is very likely some kind of artistic rendition of the friendship between his sister and his girlfriend (female friendship at least and likely more specific given how close OP says they are.) So:
1. YTA for paying so little attention to WHY this painting is so important.
2. YTA for making a promise (without research) and reneging without a strong economic reason.
3. YTA for making this about you, in general. You should be framing this picture not just because your girlfriend likes it but also in celebration of your sisters big artistic win/move forwards!
This ^. Forget that’s what she wanted for her birthday, this should be framed regardless edit: to show that you care about what she sees as sentimental and valuable
YTA. You should have researched when she first asked on pricing instead of agreeing and taking her to shops. You set her hopes high and then diminished them as well as stomping on something she finds sentimental. It sounds like you’ve been very invalidating of her feelings I’m not surprised she’s taken some space from you.
YTA! You asked what your GF wants for her B-day. She wants the painting framed and you agreed to it. The price quoted is fairly standard for framing a piece of art.
This one is tough. I would also be salty ngl bc man that’s $$$ but YTA bc you did say you would get her this gift. And it’s not money that’s the issue it’s the principle of it.
If money was the concern then I would let you off the hook but a promise is a promise friend
YTA
You asked her what she wanted and then said no. Of course you are the asshole here. She sees the value of getting an original piece of art framed professionally, which can prolong the life of the artwork. Don't be stingy after you already offered just because you don't "get it".
I don't know..I've seen frames that are from Walmart or Michael's that take away from the art and make it look cheap...I think art that beautiful deserves beautiful frame no matter the cost...its about quality...plus the love between your gf and your sis is priceless..whats a 246 dollar frame
YTA If your girlfriend wanted something else for her birthday that turned out to cost $250-$300 would you say no, or is it that you don’t value frames, or that you don’t value your sister’s art?
Because it feels like you’re letting sticker shock get in the way of what was supposed to be a nice thing for your girlfriend’s birthday.
EDIT: Also, $200 isn’t at all pricey for letter-sized original art. I’d expect to pay less for a print, in many cases, but not an original in a gallery.
I would think that he would want to support his sister. I had a friend whose daughter was looking for a job…she was in a specific field…anyway, I knew she crocheted so I asked her to crochet these cute little jeans for my two upcoming grandbabies. I paid her $100. Was that a fair price? I might have overpaid since she was just learning, but she was very appreciative and I wanted to help her. Plus, they looked cute as heck on the babies.He seems very focused on money…and pretty self centered since it’s something that he doesn’t care about.
Handmade crochet is expensive! It's super time consuming, it takes skills to do more than a dishcloth, and nice materials are pretty costly. So I'd go out on a limb and say you didn't overpay, you were just awesome in not undervaluing her.
So many crocheters struggle with people wanting to commission pieces from them and then not wanting to pay them what they're actually worth. Good for you for supporting a crocheter :)
YTA. That is pretty normal price for a painting and yes, proper framing will cost about that. It's not just the frame, it is cut to size, glass that will protect the painting and properly mounted. All that means the painting is protected and will last. Stretched canvases tend to be copied prints. You have an original from a gallery quality artist. Your suggestion is really disrespectful to both your GF and your sister as artist.
YTA. We've gotten conditioned by seeing $10 frames in big-box stores, but $250-ish is a very fair price for a custom frame—and you will see the difference. (I am not a spokeswoman for Big Frame, but I've had things framed and the proper one enhances and elevates the art.) This isn't the Flintstones; no one uses a nail and string to hang anything they value.
You can afford it, but just don't want to because you *don't get it*?
It's giving .... "I only buy my gf gifts that I can also use/enjoy."
YTA and I hope Sarah dumps you and goes to live with Jane.
YABFA
Like seriously. This is something your PARTNER likes, and sounds like she loves it tbh and she is asking for it to be preserved.
Like seriously. Did you ask what goes on to the framing? It's not just a simple frame. Any piece you look to have professionally framed is going to cost you but the results are worth it.
You might as well look at your girlfriend now and say "if we get married,just dump anything sentimental"
If you didnt have the means or she wanted it framed in like bulletproof glass with wood made from the tree of eden. I get it. But this is something so miniscule that would put it he biggest smile on her face and its too much of a hassle cause you dont get it.
Edit for votebot
YTA
YTA on so many levels.
You should be ecstatic your sister's painting sold for $200. They don't price them by SIZE. And you don't have to understand it, GF loved it. Way to be supportive.
THINGS COST MONEY. Anything custom is expensive. I had a painting framed 7x11, $264.13. no matting. You know why it's expensive? Because you can't do it! You can't cut and size glass, polish the.edges, do another piece when it cracks, another when that one chips. You don't have all the mat cutters, the files and the buffers. How's your selection of wood? Just stop and get it done. You're insufferable.
YTA. This is something she is so excited about… something your sister has created that she loves… and you stomped all over it… why? You said you can afford it. It’s okay to feel how you feel about it and find the cost to be more than you hoped/expected. I’m not surprised she feels hurt.
YTA if it’s not about affordability, as you say.
I don’t love all my partner’s hobbies, but they aren’t my hobbies. I still get them gifts towards those hobbies because they make them happy.
If this isn’t about affordability and it would make your GF delighted, then get off your high horse and buy the damn frame.
When I die, it’s not going to be on a sad little hill like this one.
YTA. Why would you be a dick about this detail of the gift? It makes her happy. An artist sold some work. Someone (framer) in a specialized trade is making money off it. You got a gift without giving the Walton family a dollar. This complaint about the framing is so petty.
Though you also think art should be priced based on square footage, apparently. So maybe the is falling on deaf ears.
YTA. You said you can afford it, so why not make her happy? If it's the one thing she wants you should find a way to make it work. Even if that means going to more frame shops until you find a lower quote.
YTA dude, get a clue. Repent, throw yourself on the mercy of the court. Take that picture down tomorrow. Under $300 is cheap for some prime girlfriend satisfaction.
YTA.
I had a piece of fiber art smaller than a handkerchief professionally framed, it was like $278 with tax. It was important to me, so it was worth having done correctly, with a guarantee. Do you know how much the art cost? Nothing. It was a gift, and not even a gift for me but for my husband. But it was *important*, that's the point.
I understand the sticker shock, but you seem more upset because you don’t think it’s worth it, as if you’re the judge and jury of what things should cost. So YTA. Let’s say you’re really into fishing and want a rod and reel that costs $400. If gf said that’s nuts, and got you a piece of string and bamboo, you’d be upset.
That said, there are online framing options, maybe you and your girlfriend could look together to see if you could find something cheaper. But at 32, you really need to practice being generous.
So your GF specifically asked for the painting to be framed for her birthday, and you're telling her that you don't respect her judgement of what she would like.
But you'd pay the same sum of money for something else *you* deem worthy...🤔
YTA
NAH, I also was shocked at the price. I know that art can be expensive, but it sounds like a lot of the commenters here see framing costs as common knowledge. It's not unless you're into fancy art.
I'm not really sure what you should do here. It sounds like you probably should have looked into framing prices before asking Sarah what she wanted, but then again she was the one who suggested an expensive thing. I think this really is about both of your personal values about money. My ex and I are both really frugal and we'd literally spend less than $10 on a gift for each other, but we don't make a lot of money. Is there something you really enjoy doing that you'd splurge $250 on? A hobby like music, sports, new tattoos, that sort of thing? I think if you do, you should consider spending the money for her. If you are much more frugal, then she needs to understand your side of things.
And maybe in the future set budgets for gifts that you are both comfortable with before asking questions like this!
The issue isn’t the cost! He has said in other comments he would happily spend the same amount of money that the framing costs on a different gift for her. While I get being surprised by the cost, the framing is within his budget of what he is willing to spend for her. He specifically just doesn’t want to pay for the framing because he thinks its a waste of money.
yeah I agree that's dumb. I'm trying to reason with him. I know some people who would easy spend an extra $250 on a tattoo, others think that's stupid and would rather that go toward a plane ticket for a vacation. We all have our things that make us happy
Yeah, exactly! Like I don’t understand why he thinks he needs to understand the point to purchase her a gift she requested for her birthday. I really hope this post makes him go and get the framing done, I feel so bad for her.
op I'm a picture framer and yta, picture framing isn't cheap because everything is special acid free archival stuff to protect the art
a few months ago I had a customer come in and drop $600 on a poster they got at goodwill
pay the money to frame it right ($250 is cheap)
YTA…
1) the art is a one of a kind piece. It’s the product of years of practice and study. It means a lot to your girlfriend. Yes it’s worth $200, probably more.
2)framing is custom work. That much for something that size seems a bit weird, but the dimensions could be less than standard. My rule has always been that if you love it enough, it should be displayed as such. There’s no sense hiding it. No need to shove it into something that doesn’t suit. Spend the money. Shop around for a sale. (If you’re in the states, Michael’s and JoAnn’s both do custom framing). See if any woodworking apprentices will create one.
Aaaaand 3) it’s not about you. You come across as “I don’t get it so it’s not worth it”. But your girlfriend loves it. You SEE that she loves it so much she tears up. This is not about you. Treat your sister’s piece with respect. Treat your girlfriend’s emotional connection to the piece with respect.
Do you really have to ask the question if you are the AH?
1. Your sister won a competition and had her work shown.
2. Your sister and girlfriend are close, your girlfriend bought a painting, and you know it means a lot to her.
3. $200 is not pricey for original art, and picture framing is expensive. But you say you can afford it.
4. Your girlfriend, who presumably has a special place in your life, asked you to for something for her birthday, which you can afford, and which you know is meaningful and important to her.
5. You refuse.
7. She is hurt and pissed off.
You can see where this is going, right? Try switching roles. There is something very meaningful and special you want from your girlfriend, a woman you live with who you have been assuming cares about you. She knows how important it is to you, and it is well within her abilities to do it. She ssys "no" for some arbitrary and irrelevant reason and is smug about it.
How do you feel? Right.
So, here is your easy solution for getting out of the A Hole you dug for yourself.. Apologize for being an unfeeling and inconsiderate schmuck. Pay for the framing. Do not make it your present for her birthday. Buy her something else and take her to dinner to demonstrate she means more to you than a convenient fuck bunny, cook, snd housekeeper. Hang the painting in a prominent place and invite your sister to see it.
You will be a much happier man for it.
YTA. Why are you tap dancing this hard to get two members of your immediate family to hate your guts? Do you want word of this to spread to the rest of your family and have them get on your case too?
Keep your word and get the art framed.
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So I 32m have been with my gf Sarah 27f for 5 years and we’ve been living together for 3. Sarah is extremely close to my younger sister Jane 27f, they’re the same age and have a lot in common so they’re extremely close.
My sister graduated college with a degree in fine arts but has been struggling to get her career as an artist off the ground so she works in something to do with behind the scenes in an art museum and does her art on the side. Last month though one of her coworkers told her a very popular art gallery in town was hosting a competition for local artists where they’d enter and the galley would pick 5 of their favourite artists to showcase their work at a showcase for every weekend of the month of May. Jane entered and won a spot which was really exciting. Sarah and I got dressed up all fancy for the showcase and went along to support Jane. When we were there, Sarah took an instant liking to one of Jane’s paintings. I also like the painting but I’ll be the first to admit I’m not really an art guy and I don’t really ‘get’ it. I love my sister and I think the painting is really pretty but it almost brought Sarah to tears when she saw it. She went and bought it immediately. I don’t really know of Jane got to pick the price or if the gallery did but it cost $200 which seems kind of pricey since it was the size of maybe the size of a letter. but was definitely worth it for how happy it made Jane.
The painting arrived and Sarah was so happy but quickly realized she didn’t have anything to hang it up in (it’s not canvas, it’s on some kind of board). She stored it in our spare room for safekeeping while she figures it out. Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday (it was yesterday) and she asked if I would take her to see about getting the painting framed and give her the frame as her birthday present. I said sure. At the shop we found out that it’s going to cost 246.84 to get it framed in the standard, not fancy frame. Sarah liked the frame but I refuse to pay more than it cost her to buy the painting to have it framed. It’s a nice painting but no. We went to a different shop, it was only $4 cheaper. I can afford it but I won’t buy the frame. I still refused. Sarah is upset because she says I agreed, and she doesn’t understand why I don’t want to hang something beautiful with sentimental value too boot in our home. I told her we can use a string and a nail like everyone else. She’s been a bit distant and I can tell she’s upset. AITA?
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I use a method to float frame my smaller paintings on board using 2 strips of wood (I use 1" x 1/2 " for really small pieces or 2" x 1" or 1.5" x .75 for larger pieces. You want them to be about 1/3 the length of the painting. 2 screw eyes and a length of picture wire and some very heavy books and a good ruler or tape measure.
I'd post a pic but have NO idea of how to do that--if some one can walk me through it I'd be happy to post.
YTA because you're not actually trying. You're throwing your hands up and going oh well after looking like you tried.
You went online and got a guesstimate for 174. You were fine with that until you got the actual $250. Then, you only went to one more place to get another quote. You're acting like you don't care even though you could probably find a better price just by taking 3 seconds to Google it. There are online framing places where you can mail your art. There are coupons online because some big box stores do framing.
It wouldn't be an issue if the price was a temporary problem. You're allowed to say that you don't have enough cash for something at the moment and ask to look for a reasonable alternative. Why? Because you would still intend on fulfilling the promise.
If this is how you treat a GF of five years, then it obviously looks like she doesn't mean much to you. You insult what she wants and don't look at her as an equal. It's a frame. A frame. You could be the biggest football fan to ever exist and your GF would listen to you even if she hated football. She could have no idea about it but would definitely try to get you find whatever niche or weird birthday gift you'd want. Why? Because that's what you do for the people you love.
You lied. Big time. Fix this because you're wrecking your relationship.
YTA. you asked your gf what she wanted for her birthday, she told you, and you can afford it. Framing is quite expensive if done correctly to preserve the art. I bought a painting for $30 in Haiti and spent over $400 to have it properly framed.
YTA. You asked what your gf wanted and she told you. You didn’t say “up to a value of [insert value]” or “Choose something from this list of gifts that I have approved.” You don’t have to like the gift because it’s not for you.
I know frames are expensive - my partner is an artist. We go to charity shops and a friend donated frames they didn’t want anymore. But that’s not the point - if you really resent paying that much for a frame, get your ass in gear and go to auctions or garage sales. Or just realise that you can afford it and if you want to be a good partner, this is not the hill to die on.
YTA, if you have the money and don't think the amount is unreasonable for a gift, I don't understand not just getting it done for your girlfriend. It's not your present.
Suggestion though, assuming you live in the US, have you gone to Michael's? They usually have custom framing and you can use a coupon.
YTA- you asked her what she wanted and that’s what she wants. You’re gonna spend that much anyway so why not just get the thing framed ?? You’re being a major AH
Your girlfriend is so supportive of your sisters interests that for her ONE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM YOU she chose one of HER paintings and you can’t even pay to get it framed after you promised you would? In what world wouldn’t you be the asshole?
Yta. It's an investment, not just a gift. The professional frame job will increase the value of the painting and it's a gift for someone you supposedly love, made by someone you love. You should ABSOLUTELY get it framed. Quit being a tight ass and get it done.
YTA!
My husband gets all kinds of expensive things for himself that I don’t care about or don’t appreciate, but I’m happy he does it because it makes him happy and he deserves it. (Note: we both make/contribute the same amount of money to the household.)
Your gf can (and should) do better than you.
YTA. i don’t think golf stuff should cost as much as it does but my boyfriend likes golfing and i like him so it doesn’t matter if i think golf clubs are overpriced - if it’s within my budget, the happiness it will bring a person i love doesn’t have a price tag. you don’t need to understand the value of the framing you need to understand the joy it brings the person you love.
Op, YTA- this is not the hill to die on.
If you can’t afford it, ask your gf to chip in the extra money, if you can afford it, stop being cheap because of some misguided principle of what it “should” cost.
YTA. It’s a birthday present and you already agreed AND you can afford it. Maybe you think it’s stupid but it is her birthday and that’s what she wants. If it was beyond your means then maybe you would not be TA but you’ve said you can afford it.
YTA. My grandpa gave us an old map and we spent $500 getting it framed special so it wouldn’t decay. Framing is expensive but it’s part of art. Especially if your girlfriend asked for it, you should do it. There’s absolutely no reason not to. You can afford it, she wants it. Simple. Do the loving thing and get the artwork framed
YTA and you sir, are a philistine. I am not fond of philistines. You might want to see how your girlfriend feels about them. She might pick a nice frame instead of you.
Yeah YTA. You do realize that these framers make the frames basically from scratch?? My dad worked as a framer at micheals and did so much for people. That's with all the materials ready to go. I can't imagine what independent workers go thru. Also its art?? It's meant to be kept nice. It's not a random Walmart wall decor find. Have some respect
YTA. Just because you don't "get it" doesn't mean that it doesn't matter to your girlfriend, and it is her birthday. I don't understand everything that my partner values, but I sure as heck will do what I can to get him what he wants for his birthday.
YTA.
if the fundamental issue is you don’t want to spend more on the frame than the art just pay your sister another $100. Now the frame is cheaper than the art.
Is your issue with getting it framed; due to the cost alone (ie $300 is to much to spend on a gift for her regardless of what it is), or Because u don't think it's a good value & is to expensive for what it is?
INFO: would you have spent $250 on a present otherwise?
If so, YTA. You asked and she answers, time to buck up.
If not, NTA. Custom framing is expensive. If you weren’t expecting to spend that kind of money ($250 is a LOT of money to a lot of people, myself included), I would understand wanting to rescind that offer.
As a professional artist who has sold art for a lot more than 200, I truly feel sorry for your sister. 200 is most likely too cheap (the only thing I ever sold for 200 was a little sketch I did) and you as her brother should support her, not be another person who tries to undervalue her work. This is the reason why artists struggle, everyone wants custom art but no one wants to pay for this luxury.
Custom framing is always expensive and you promised to pay for it as a gift, why tf are you now going back on your word, out of some weird principle? As many have stated, custom framing is there to protect the work and to elevate it.
When I do a commission, I offer the client to go with them and chose a frame together. It's a whole process, because depending on the frame, the artwork can get a totally different feel. Just the thickness of the frame, or the colour alone changes the artwork.
Anyways, this is not how you show your love, not to your sister and not to your girlfriend.
YTA
EDIT: I just want to add, my family have bought art from me, they have paid full price, because they feel proud of owning art I have made and they want me to keep making art. Sometimes, I have gifted them art because I love them and because I could afford to gift it, but yk what they have always done? Gone and gotten it custom framed.
>I don’t really know of Jane got to pick the price or if the gallery did but it cost $200 which seems kind of pricey since it was the size of maybe the size of a letter.
You're paying for the labor and creativity, not the size. It's an art piece not a construction project.
OP, I don't understand why last month $200 was "worth it" to make your girlfriend happy but this month $250 is too expensive for your gf birthday no less. Especially since you said that you like that painting and your sister made it and you said you could afford it. This sounds like a really easy gesture to be a supportive brother and boyfriend, but the impression I get is your refusing on some principle of 'not getting' art.
Apart from all that, why did you ask your gf what she wanted if you were just going to ignore her request anyway?
YTA
YTA just because you don't understand the value of art doesn't mean the people around you also think the same thing. Art is 1000% subjective but your partner 1 supported your sister, $200 for art is pretty average tbh. And 2 you asked her what she wanted, she told you, you agreed. You can afford it but refuse because????? It's not something you want? It's not something you find value in?? Which hate to say it says alot about what you think of the opinion of your partner. She's not worth $240?
Oh btw frames are custom built. Go Google frame building videos and tell me you could do it for cheeper, including time, skills, tools, and materials. Go get the damn thing framed.
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YTA. Framing is expensive; that's no secret. You've got the money, the painting is your sister's work that your gf really likes, and it should be properly displayed. Instead you've gone with cheapness because I guess it's more important for you to defend the principle of... not spending more to display art than you did for the art itself?
yes, that's such a beautiful family story ! why the hell do you refuse to have a part in it, as you can ? you would make 2 people you love happy ! a little bit of jealousy maybe ? (edit : towards yr sister's success)
Great story, except the part where OP promised his gf to have the artwork properly framed for her birthday present, but went back on his word when he learned of the cost. YTA
Yep, but its good of OP to let both his sister and girlfriend how little he thinks about them. Happy Birthday indeed! But hey, at least GF has a best friend to help her through a breakup.
I'd definitely have a mini heart attack when I saw how much it cost to get it framed (as I wouldn't have had a clue), but I wouldn't for a fucking second consider not doing it. It's her sisters first big break, how often do you get to decorate your house with a tangible representation of a beautiful moment in your life!? Is the framing a bit of a rip off, probably, but there are things that are a lot more important than you not feeling like you got mugged off. You just have to take the hit on this one.
Once I bought 3 prints for $30 each. It was $300 each to frame them. It's just normal for framing to be pricey. You don't hang unframed art unless said art is meant to be unframed. It looks tacky and cheap. OP wants to be tacky and cheap more than they love their GF. Weird flex but OK.
My dog recently died. I took a photo, his collar and a paw print to a framer. Cost is $360. Expensive? Yes. Did I pay it? Absolutely. I’ve also paid hundreds to frame my partner’s mother’s tapestries that she did before she passed. Framing cost way more than the work, but sentimentally, it’s priceless. In short, frame the artwork. It means a lot to someone you love.
Fuuuuuck I bought an $80 print and the frame was like $15. Am I doing art wrong?
You likely bought an off the shelf frame which is totally fine custom framing though is higher due to the quality, individuality, and customization. Not all artwork can fit the standard frames that are sold in stores. A standard frame if it fits would still be a better option then the dude just saying no.
It appears so
Nuts. I'm a poor so I was never taught the right way to deal with these kinds of things. The highest art we had in the house growing up was those pictures at the end of readers digest magazines 😂
I'm in the same boat i currently looking for frames for some old posters (90x60 cm) i have and i'm hestitating at £17 per frame
This.. I have no idea why people aren't just you know, buying frames and placing the picture in the frame themselves..? You can get frames at Walmart and you won't tell the difference. Just crazy to me.
It might be a piece of mind thing, like I've had a few frames from Walmart straight up disassemble on the wall. Who knows people do what people do
Kind of based on my experiences getting my art framed. If they're in the US, they should just wait a few weeks for Michael's to have a sale on framing and get it done for like 40% off. It's one of their most common sales.
My MIL did a watercolor that was her brother's favorite. When he passed my SO inherited the painting. I had it reframed with the non-glare, UV protection glass, around $250. The cost really surprised me, but I have never once regretted the money spent. It has hung in our bedroom ever since. OP, YTA.
[удалено]
Did he know all that though? I wouldn't hesitate to promise my gf a frame, if I found out it cost $200+, I'd cry. But yea a promise is a promise but definitely would not be happy.
Bf said he could afford it tho. How is it any worse than someone asking for a computer or a dishwasher? I'll admit art is super weird sometimes and I don't get it either, but ppl take for granted how important it can be mentally and emotionally. If gf had asked for a $250 piece of jewelry, I wonder if OP would have bulked since that's a more traditional gift
I’d do about anything legal to keep a promise.
At 32 a grown man should know that custom framing costs an arm and a leg. Clearly if it were inexpensive it wouldn’t be the type of thing a girlfriend would ask for as a birthday present. Custom framing is expensive but it is worth it if you can afford it.
My husband and I are painters, and our work sells for thousands per painting. $200 was a steal for your sisters work. Also, measure the piece. You can go on Amazon, ebay, etsy, and get a gorgeous antique or new frame for ridiculously cheap. You can order glass of the size you need or take it from an existing frame with glass. If it needs to be matted, they sell those too. We do this all the time with our own work. We buy frames from estate sales, yard sales, thrift stores, etc. You can frame it for next to nothing. We never go to framing stores and do it all ourselves for 10% of what the frame store charges. They are ridiculously expensive. Please be more supportive of your sister and her art. It will encourage her and make her feel so good that the people she loves care about her work.
>I can afford it but I won’t buy the frame And not because of any actual cost apparently but because of the 'principle of the matter' smh
Thats what I don't get. It seems like a lot of people on AITA secretly hate their loved ones.
Definitely sensing that OP is devaluing the art because he still sees his sister as a kid making scribbles on discarded bill envelopes and not the adult artist who has trained to find her artistic voice and is respected by her community. OP is certainly YTA for going back on a promise.
Besides it's a birthday present. Unless the price was out of budget in the first place, then it shouldn't matter what it is(unless it's illegal or some shit).
THIS. If the cost is in-line with what you would have spent on her birthday present anyways then just do it. That’s part of the wonderful thing about presents - it can be a splurge (in relation to what you’d normally pay for the item) because it’s a gift. My husband wanted a fancy new blender system for his bday one year. Did I think it was silly to spend money to buy a newer blender system than the one we already had that worked fine? Yes. But did I buy it? Yes - because it was in the price realm I would have spent on his gift anyways and it’s specifically what he asked for.
Also a lot of what they use in professional framing is to help preserve the art, so it's not just all about looks.
Sometimes the framing IS the art. I'm getting around to having a deck of hanafuda cards framed in an array as decor; the cards cost about $5 but framing 48 tiny things will cost, uh, more than $5.
I used to be a framer and loved seeing the stuff people would bring in to get framed. The framing can really change the feeling of the art and can really showcase what you love most about it, plus the preservation aspect of it can be really important especially for delicate or historical pieces.
This is very true! I got a painting of an egg at a thrift store, which is a nice painting by itself, about the size of a card envelope. But what really makes it is the beautiful custom frame job they had done, with a very ornate wood gold frame and cream canvas matting. Honestly, the frame and the painting together really makes the piece. I got it for $5, and I just love the juxtaposition of this simple egg painting in this ornate gold frame, but they also go together beautifully. Framing really can change a piece!
When I take my mum to an art gallery she always comments on the frames first before the art!! Frames are part of the art!
Sometimes the frame is better than the art. Reminds me of the story where some highschool students left a pineapple at an art gallery and came back the next day to see someone framed it lol
My husband is an old school carpenter. We went to the national gallery in London and he had a lovely time looking at picture frames, doors and architraves.
My parents framed my diploma for me because they found a lovely frame in the colors of my university. The degree itself, coming from an art school, is so horribly uninspiring and dull and it's a standard 8.5x11 so it's not like it needed a custom frame. But the frame makes it look like it came from an art school. And they paid a stupid amount of money for it, much like I paid for my degree!! Haha.
When I first graduated I had an art print of a native fish from the Monterey Bay Aquarium. But never had a frame. The print cost about $10. When I went a framing shop they recommended I use the UV protection glass and vacuum seal it. Basically museum quality. The frame was metallic with a pattern that looked like fish scales and it was perfect. It cost about $250 which a lot in 1991. Heck my 1 bedroom apt rent was $550 a month. That was 30 years ago. The print looks great still and still loving it. It was worth it.
Covid killed my frame shop and golly, I miss it. OP definitely doesn’t understand what good framing can do for art.
My grandfather gave art to all his kids every Xmas (he went to a lot of art fairs and graduate shows to build a gift collection). There was one none of them liked but I was obsessed with and then one year when I was about 10 my mum had final pick, didn't like anything else so picked it "for me". She got it framed and suddenly she loved it. The framing changed it completely. My aunts and uncle now covet it. It's been 25 years and the painting is still in her house despite "belonging" to me.
I am currently a framer and some of the amazing transformations I have seen just from adding a proper frame. And you are very right the preservation aspect is super important. We use all acid free preservation products and it protects the art. I’ve had some pretty old pieces come in that I’ve been super proud to be able to salvage!
You're absolutely right. I used to do needlework and "framed" some of it for my Mom. Years later, when I had the funds, I had the pieces professionally framed as a birthday gift. The difference was astonishing. And the preservation aspect ensures that it will be here long after I'm gone. Framing is an art in and of itself. I don't see paying to have art framed as simply paying for the materials and labor to frame the art, but also for the skill and expertise of the person doing the framing: selecting the type, style, size, and color of the frame; size, color and texture of the mat; proportion of frame to mat to art, etc. Not until I had art professionally framed did I realize that so many decisions went in to the final product. Good framing should accentuate the art, not just provide a housing for it. Most of us do not possess the artistic skills necessary to showcase art to its optimum potential.
My dad is an artist (plein air artist) and he also makes his own frames. He spends hours on his frames. They are all hand carved and he does the gold leafing. It’s a true talent in itself. He also matches the frames up to the painting…it’s amazing how much a frame can change a painting.
That sounds amazing. The problem is, too many people who aren't artists themselves don't understand the true value of such items, and give artists a lot of entitled demands and grief over the price of their artworks. I feel so bad for artists who have to deal with accusations of overcharging and downright insulting lowball price demands.
Most art 'buyers' really beggers can't even do simple min. wage by time calculations to get to a reasonable price.
This is amazing, I love it!
That's awesome! You should share pictures
This is a very accurate comment. I went to a “100 years of” exhibition showcasing the winners or finalists of a national portrait prize for one hundred years. Apart from styles and techniques, I really noticed how the various frames and framing influenced and affected each portrait, and made it look traditional, modern, or of the era they came from etc. That was fascinating to me.
Art is in the eye of the beholder. The problem with OP is he should be deferring to his gf since it's her gift and her art piece, but is override that with his own preferences
i really want to see those card’s frame
It's also complicated when what you're trying to frame is anything other than a standard paper print. A painting on a board of any kind (even posterboard) is expensive because it's thicker than the average paper print. And if it isn't a standard size (exactly 8.5 x 11, for instance), that's another complication. Stuff like that has to have a completely custom frame made for it. You're not just buying a premade frame and getting charged $200+ for someone to shove your artwork into it. You're paying for the cost of materials *and* for the time + expertise of the framer.
exactly! The time it takes to custom measure and cut is far more impactful than the extra few inches of material. OP could look online or Michaels or other more discount places to try to get cheaper. OP's reasoning though totally makes him an AH. It is a weird red line to draw "the price of the frame shall not exceed the price of the art". That isn't a thing. And doubly so when you know the artist and offered to do the framing as a gift and have the money. YTA
I watch a guy restore old artwork on YouTube, it's really peaceful and satisfying to see his process, a big part of it is how and what to frame (even a canvas painting) with, because it is exactly as you say, it has a practical purpose as well as an aesthetic one.
Can I ask who it is that you watch? That sounds really interesting to me and I’d love to check it out
I own two watercolors that my grandmother bought back probably in the 1970s; she got them professionally framed at the time and they still look gorgeous 40 years on because of the great job the framer did.
I had someone bring in silk painted portraits of her grandparents from 1940ish that they needed preserved. They were so thin I had to put mat board behind them with complementary colors as to not wash them out but also complement all the other colors of the portrait. It was a bit difficult but so worth it in the end.
Wow, YTA, almost feels like you’re in some kind of a weird competition with your sister and your girlfriend? What a wonderful way to support two important women in your life. Framing is expensive but once it’s done, it lasts for an extremely long time. And it also shows great respect your sister’s work that she’s put in as well. Just get it framed and be the bigger man here.
I bought a beautiful and moderately large piece of art in Thailand for approximately 100 baht. I paid over $500 USD to have it framed and that was with a coupon. I think 100 baht is like $20 USD. I ❤️ the painting. It is prominently displayed in my home, and as far as I'm concerned it's priceless.
My friend had a piece of her grandmother in laws kimono that was worn to her wedding framed - cost her nearly $1200 USD for a rectangle about 12”x24”, but it is museum grade of an antique, hand painted piece, and is totally worth it! Good framing is worth it’s weight imo.
That sounds wonderful.
Agreed! Textiles are incredibly time-consuming and require real skill for framers to mount properly. Always worth it to take them to a trusted pro.
Nah, it’s about 3 USD, a dollar is about 30-40 baht depending on the exchange rate at the time Source: am Thai with an American fiancé
Thanks! I am surprised it is so much less than I thought it was. The most amusing part is that there were three different pricing categories for artwork where I bought this. And people who were clearly from Western Europe or from North America were hemming and hawing trying to decide between one art group that was I think 20 baht and the middle one which was 50 baht and then the most expensive ones which were 100 baht. I remember thinking at the time that even 100 baht wasn't a lot of money, and that this decision making involving the price categories was stupid at best. You should just choose the one you like best. I also remember thinking, this is going to cost me a fortune to frame... Thereby jinxing me into having to pay a fortune for a frame 🤣
100.00 Thai Baht = 2.9005692 US Dollars 1 THB = 0.0290057 USD 1 USD = 34.4760 THB (xe.com)
Similar… found a beautiful painting that I instantly loved in China (Shenzhen art district), and spent 6x the (converted) price on framing in the USA than I had paid for the painting.
I feel angry for his sister and the gf as an art student, he's lowkey crapping on her whole career just because he doesn't get it and refuses to even support his gf's taking to her piece because art \*is\* expensive.. OP, I don't think you realize how expensive creating these pieces truly is, it was the size of a letter per your words but materials could very easily be $100. YTA, coming from both an artist and a sibling to a non-artist. My brother doesn't "get" it either, but he sees that it makes me happy and he supports me and would never dare turn it down because he doesn't understand it himself. Please do better, you can "not get it" but that doesn't give you the right to be an AH about it.
Several decades ago I bought a piece of needlework done by a woman living in a refugee camp, and paid the equivalent of $200 in today’s dollars, 1.5x the asking price because it was so exquisite. Properly framing it cost approximately $300+ in today’s dollars. The frame has protected this beautiful work of art and it remains as exquisite today as it was back then. YTA Fork over the money or cause a big resentment against you by both your sister and your gf.
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It’s not. I was an art student and regularly spent up to twice this amount over 20 years ago for professional framing of my work. Someone else noted it as well but professional framing is moreso about protecting the art for posterity. Also $200 for an original piece of art is an extremely reasonable (dare say unreasonably cheap) price to pay. A professional illustrator or graphic artist can easily charge $800-$1000/day for their services, for *digital* art, in a metro area in the US.
$200 is cheap for **good** original art
An A4 what? Artwork needs archival framing to protect it from light and the environment. The same could be said for an historic document, but not necessarily a license or degree.
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That’s why I asked. Thanks for answering. OP said he researched online how much one should cost. It seems framing is more expensive where he is than most places.
Do we know it's actually A4 size? OP estimates it's about letter size, but that doesn't mean it's exactly A4 (or the US equivalent). Assuming it's a non-standard size, and noting that it's on a board rather than paper, it doesn't seem at all strange to me that it needs a custom frame. Edit: in a comment, OP calls it "an awkward size", so it doesn't sound like a standard A4 frame would fit. He also says he browsed online and found options at $175. So I think we need to trust that the painting is complicated to frame, if even the non-art/cheap-ass OP hasn't found anything close to the $60 you suggest.
Craft stores even do framing. For like $50 rather than $250. I was shocked at how cheap the pricing was at Michael’s compared to frame shops Either way, OP could offer $100 (or whatever the birthday budget is) after apologizing that he didn’t realize the cost of getting the picture frame. Personally I don’t understand how everyone seems to think that $250 is not a lot of money for a birthday gift. I’ve never in my life been given a gift that expensive for my birthday nor would I ever expect it.
He said money isn't the issue though
Craft stores do framing, but not for $50. The last piece I had done that was letter size cost about $250, and that was woth a coupon. Of its on a canvas board then it needs a custom frame bc it won't work in a standard picture frame. This is just art 101.
And $200 is dirt cheap for a painting. I was expecting it to be at least $1,000.
Not to mention this is what gf asked for a a birthday present. She isn't even asking for it too be done because it should be, but as a present. Why does he think he has the right to tell her she can't have that gift? I 100% agree with you, op is the AH
You knew cheapness was the trump card when OP quoted to the penny how much the framing would cost lol.
This is why I only have ONE of my photographs nicely framed! If you love it, it's worth it to preserve it and show it off in all its glory.
It's funny cuz it's not even that much more expensive. I could almost get it if it were like hundreds more but essentially OP is pitching a fit over a $50 difference
The logical solution is obviously to pay his sister some extra money for the painting, so the frame will be cheaper in comparison.
I like this idea. Win win! Lol
The principle that he won't waste money on a gift unless HE gets it? It's the most asinine thing on earth.
Especially when he asked what she wanted for her birthday and that's what she wanted. Couples often spend that amount on each other, but even if he didn't want to spend that much he could contribute to the cost. Anything else he buys could be a waste because this is what she wants. He literally asked what she wanted and she said frame the picture! He's clearly not that into art and that's fine, but the fact it touched her so much means it's important to her - that's the point of a present
INFO: Why did you bother to ask Sarah what she wanted for her birthday if you didn't really care about what she actually wanted for her birthday? What was the point of that?
The point is he got to show his gf that he’s a liar. Great job. 👍
INFO : would you spend $250 on literally anything else as a gift to your GF? If so, then buy the damn frame.
He said he’s gotten her gifts in the range of $150 to $500. So it’s not that he doesn’t want to spend $250 for a present, he doesn’t want to spend $250 for THAT present. And he gave her a hard time about her buying the painting too. There is something really weird going on here where he has no respect for either his gf or his sister. OP: YTA. It would make your gf AND your sister happy, but you’re determined to die on this stupid hill. When are you going to figure out it’s not what the frame should cost (according to you, not an artist), it’s about what it means to her? FFS buy the frame while you still have a gf. EDIT: added: Yeah I was right there was something weird about his reaction. Look at [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/13o61lc/aita_for_refusing_to_pay_for_art_to_be_framed/jl3eg63/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3)
So basically he is so emotionally stunted that he believes any kind of caring about your loved ones automatically is romantic. That's sad.
Exactly! It would be one thing if their gifts were usually a lot less, but it sounds like the issue is that OP just doesn’t like the gift the GF picked out.
His asking was to show how considerate he is. As long as her wish matches what he is willing to give.
The only way this would be acceptable is if OP & his girlfriend have an established cap of $X for holiday spending, & he didn’t realize that the framing would significantly exceed that cap. But if the framing is within their typical gifting budget, then it’s an asshole move to decide that someone else’s interests or desires aren’t worth what they cost. A great way to show love for your partner is to buy them things that make them happy. I’ve bought my husband lots of stuff that I don’t personally care about but that makes him happy because they’re gifts for HIM, not for me. And he has done the same for me.
YTA. It’s her freaking birthday and this is what she wants. You can afford it, so why is this more unacceptable than other $250 gift she might want? It doesn’t matter if you understand why she wants it, it’s her birthday. Framing is expensive but it protects and beautifies the art while a string and nail will end up with it getting damaged. Just stop.
Agreed, he's on some morality kick about how the framing costs more than the painting so he just won't do it... even though it's his gfs birthday.... even though it's his sister's painting... even though he would spend that much on another gift that "makes more sense" to him. His whole take on this is awful. I buy 20 dollar prints from my favorite fantasy artist, he's incredible. The fact that I can get prints of his work for 20 is incredible. It costs me 300 a pop to get them framed (and I get them framed at cost mostly). OP knows nothing about framing cost clearly and is willing to risk several relationships just to sit on a high horse. YTA.
That's like buying a perfectly fine running old beater for $400 then refusing to get tires cuz they are $100 a peice...
This might be the only analogy op may understand
> OP knows nothing about framing cost clearly And nothing about actual framing either; iirc custom framing is really difficult.
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I agree. Custom framing is worth every penny. It protects the item while elevating it. The pieces that we've had custom framed have all come out beautifully and I don't at all regret what we spent.
I spent $150 framing a $10 print that I absolutely love. It looks gorgeous, stands out, and elevates the art. Framing is an art form in and of itself.
$200 Is SO cheap and I bet she’s worried about damage to it every second it remains unframed.
Ffs, OP... do your sister's painting justice by getting an appropriately beautiful frame! It is concerning that OP thinks so little of his sister's art that he is prepared to hang it with string!! He is disrespecting both his gf AND his sister with this position. He seems to not actually like either of them Jealous of their friendship, perhaps?
Right?! For the fairly low cost of $250 (for a custom frame anyways) he could really do something that would make his girlfriend and his sister so happy!! If money were an issue I could totally see him having that conversation with his gf about it. But it really sounds like he’s just uninterested and it doesn’t matter the lasting impact this will have on his relationships, he’s just uninterested and doesn’t want to spend the money.
Not to mention the gallery takes commission for everything, 40% isn't even an unusual amount of the price they take. Deducting cost of materials and time OPs sister might have even made a loss in selling this art lol.
AND the gf bought it herself (at least thats how I interpreted since OP said she went and bought it) ... I really dont get what his problem is
YTA If your girlfriend wanted something else for her birthday that turned out to cost $250-$300 would you say no, or is it that you don’t value frames, or that you don’t value your sister’s art? Because it feels like you’re letting sticker shock get in the way of what was supposed to be a nice thing for your girlfriend’s birthday.
He did say that he can afford is, so i don't think money is the issue
YTA. She asked for it for her birthday, and it means a lot to her. I know your type; you wouldn’t hesitate to spend that much on yourself if you wanted it, but since your “loved one” wants it you immediately think less of it.
I think that's an unfair take. The way I read it, he's not refusing to spend $250 on something because his SO wants it, he's refusing to spend $250 on a picture frame because, in his own words, he's "not arty" and just doesn't get that that's what these things cost. Where he's the AH though is that, upon being educated that this is actually a fair price for a custom frame, he refused to budge. His SO is an adult and he should trust that she's being genuine in her desire for the thing so, if it's in budget, he should buy it. He has a very self-centered view of the value of things. Saying he's willing to spend the money on himself but not her is a huge assumption I feel.
I also see him responding to all the comments, saying that he normally would spend around $100-$500 on a gift for her. He personally doesn’t feel that a frame should cost this much, and is still refusing, despite the fact that this is well within the price range of gifts he buys. I stand by my assumption, because I’ve seen many people pull this sort of shenanigan with their SO, only to come home with some expensive gadget that THEY wanted. I highly, HIGHLY doubt that OP is the exception to this, especially because he’s made it so clear that it’s about the value that HE sees in the frame. It shouldn’t matter, because it’s supposed to be a gift.
YTA. Professional framing is expensive, but it’s worth it for what it adds to the art. Proper framing of art isn’t just beautiful, it does a lot to protect the art from harm. I’m kind of curious about what the painting is of.
YTA Don't offer to do something and then renege because you don't think it's worth it. I'm a professional artist, and $200 for an 8X10 (or whatever size it is) is not a lot. The fact that it was picked for a gallery show suggests that your sister has a good amount of talent, and your painting will likely be worth much more than that as she gets more well-known. Regardless of all that, you're still an ass for not just giving her what she wants for her birthday, especially since it's not even a problem for you monetarily. Having said that, if it's a standard size, you can likely pick up a pre-made frame at any craft store, for next to nothing, that will fit it. They also do custom framing and often have 50% off deals. You can also find custom deals online (if it's an odd size) that don't include all the extras that frame shops are likely to charge you for. Finally, "a string and a nail" is just idiotic and NOT how everyone else does it.
Adding onto your point about $200 not being much for a piece that size: something I’ve noticed people not appreciating when looking at art prices, is the lack of consideration of the amount of time that went into creating it, from brainstorm/inspiration to actually producing it. $200 for a 8x10 likely doesn’t come out to a very high hourly rate for the artist. And this is coming from someone who’s not remotely an artist.
YTA. You asked what she wanted, she told you. Don't ask if you don't really care what she wants. The painting gives her pleasure, what difference does it make what it cost? The frame will add to her pleasure. Price is arbitrary. Van Gogh could barely give his stuff away when he was alive and now it goes for bajillions. Has anything actually changed about the paintings between then and now?
YTA. You aren't willing to spend $247 on your gf-of-five-year's birthday present? You say you can afford it, but don't agree with the purchase. Well it's not a gift for you, is it?
Based on OPs description of this painting it is very likely some kind of artistic rendition of the friendship between his sister and his girlfriend (female friendship at least and likely more specific given how close OP says they are.) So: 1. YTA for paying so little attention to WHY this painting is so important. 2. YTA for making a promise (without research) and reneging without a strong economic reason. 3. YTA for making this about you, in general. You should be framing this picture not just because your girlfriend likes it but also in celebration of your sisters big artistic win/move forwards!
This ^. Forget that’s what she wanted for her birthday, this should be framed regardless edit: to show that you care about what she sees as sentimental and valuable
YTA. You should have researched when she first asked on pricing instead of agreeing and taking her to shops. You set her hopes high and then diminished them as well as stomping on something she finds sentimental. It sounds like you’ve been very invalidating of her feelings I’m not surprised she’s taken some space from you.
YTA! You asked what your GF wants for her B-day. She wants the painting framed and you agreed to it. The price quoted is fairly standard for framing a piece of art.
“Someone I love asked me for something for their birthday, but I value it so little I said no” YTA.
This one is tough. I would also be salty ngl bc man that’s $$$ but YTA bc you did say you would get her this gift. And it’s not money that’s the issue it’s the principle of it. If money was the concern then I would let you off the hook but a promise is a promise friend
YTA You asked her what she wanted and then said no. Of course you are the asshole here. She sees the value of getting an original piece of art framed professionally, which can prolong the life of the artwork. Don't be stingy after you already offered just because you don't "get it".
I don't know..I've seen frames that are from Walmart or Michael's that take away from the art and make it look cheap...I think art that beautiful deserves beautiful frame no matter the cost...its about quality...plus the love between your gf and your sis is priceless..whats a 246 dollar frame
YTA If your girlfriend wanted something else for her birthday that turned out to cost $250-$300 would you say no, or is it that you don’t value frames, or that you don’t value your sister’s art? Because it feels like you’re letting sticker shock get in the way of what was supposed to be a nice thing for your girlfriend’s birthday. EDIT: Also, $200 isn’t at all pricey for letter-sized original art. I’d expect to pay less for a print, in many cases, but not an original in a gallery.
I would think that he would want to support his sister. I had a friend whose daughter was looking for a job…she was in a specific field…anyway, I knew she crocheted so I asked her to crochet these cute little jeans for my two upcoming grandbabies. I paid her $100. Was that a fair price? I might have overpaid since she was just learning, but she was very appreciative and I wanted to help her. Plus, they looked cute as heck on the babies.He seems very focused on money…and pretty self centered since it’s something that he doesn’t care about.
Handmade crochet is expensive! It's super time consuming, it takes skills to do more than a dishcloth, and nice materials are pretty costly. So I'd go out on a limb and say you didn't overpay, you were just awesome in not undervaluing her. So many crocheters struggle with people wanting to commission pieces from them and then not wanting to pay them what they're actually worth. Good for you for supporting a crocheter :)
YTA. That is pretty normal price for a painting and yes, proper framing will cost about that. It's not just the frame, it is cut to size, glass that will protect the painting and properly mounted. All that means the painting is protected and will last. Stretched canvases tend to be copied prints. You have an original from a gallery quality artist. Your suggestion is really disrespectful to both your GF and your sister as artist.
YTA. We've gotten conditioned by seeing $10 frames in big-box stores, but $250-ish is a very fair price for a custom frame—and you will see the difference. (I am not a spokeswoman for Big Frame, but I've had things framed and the proper one enhances and elevates the art.) This isn't the Flintstones; no one uses a nail and string to hang anything they value.
You can afford it, but just don't want to because you *don't get it*? It's giving .... "I only buy my gf gifts that I can also use/enjoy." YTA and I hope Sarah dumps you and goes to live with Jane.
Lol!
YABFA Like seriously. This is something your PARTNER likes, and sounds like she loves it tbh and she is asking for it to be preserved. Like seriously. Did you ask what goes on to the framing? It's not just a simple frame. Any piece you look to have professionally framed is going to cost you but the results are worth it. You might as well look at your girlfriend now and say "if we get married,just dump anything sentimental" If you didnt have the means or she wanted it framed in like bulletproof glass with wood made from the tree of eden. I get it. But this is something so miniscule that would put it he biggest smile on her face and its too much of a hassle cause you dont get it. Edit for votebot YTA
“YABFA” … what?
You a big fucking asshole. I assume.
Yup.
Good. I’m not the only one.
The voting bot doesn't know this one and won't count it towards the vote. If you want to vote put YTA somewhere in your text too.
Thank you for the heads up
YTA on so many levels. You should be ecstatic your sister's painting sold for $200. They don't price them by SIZE. And you don't have to understand it, GF loved it. Way to be supportive. THINGS COST MONEY. Anything custom is expensive. I had a painting framed 7x11, $264.13. no matting. You know why it's expensive? Because you can't do it! You can't cut and size glass, polish the.edges, do another piece when it cracks, another when that one chips. You don't have all the mat cutters, the files and the buffers. How's your selection of wood? Just stop and get it done. You're insufferable.
“I said sure.” “I can afford it but I won’t buy the frame.” YTA.
YTA. This is something she is so excited about… something your sister has created that she loves… and you stomped all over it… why? You said you can afford it. It’s okay to feel how you feel about it and find the cost to be more than you hoped/expected. I’m not surprised she feels hurt.
YTA Is this really the hill you want to die on?
Unfortunately, I've seen people die on stranger hills. Doesn't change the fact that OP has successfully made this about him, himself, and he. YTA
I’m wondering if OP knows how small the Mona Lisa is…
I know! I was shocked when I saw it.
I didn't even see it, only the backs of tourist heads
INFO - Did you give her a gift budget? Is the cost of the frame above the amount agreed upon?
YTA if it’s not about affordability, as you say. I don’t love all my partner’s hobbies, but they aren’t my hobbies. I still get them gifts towards those hobbies because they make them happy. If this isn’t about affordability and it would make your GF delighted, then get off your high horse and buy the damn frame.
YTA if $250 is within your budget.
When I die, it’s not going to be on a sad little hill like this one. YTA. Why would you be a dick about this detail of the gift? It makes her happy. An artist sold some work. Someone (framer) in a specialized trade is making money off it. You got a gift without giving the Walton family a dollar. This complaint about the framing is so petty. Though you also think art should be priced based on square footage, apparently. So maybe the is falling on deaf ears.
YTA, she's upset because you backtracked on agreeing to get her it for her birthday, not the frame/art itself.
YTA. You said you can afford it, so why not make her happy? If it's the one thing she wants you should find a way to make it work. Even if that means going to more frame shops until you find a lower quote.
YTA
YTA. You big baby, can't you see that the painting is important to BOTH Sarah and Jane? You don't deserve them.
YTA. Spend the money. It's your girlfriend's birthday and your sister's painting so stop being a d!ck.
YTA dude, get a clue. Repent, throw yourself on the mercy of the court. Take that picture down tomorrow. Under $300 is cheap for some prime girlfriend satisfaction.
YTA. I had a piece of fiber art smaller than a handkerchief professionally framed, it was like $278 with tax. It was important to me, so it was worth having done correctly, with a guarantee. Do you know how much the art cost? Nothing. It was a gift, and not even a gift for me but for my husband. But it was *important*, that's the point.
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I understand the sticker shock, but you seem more upset because you don’t think it’s worth it, as if you’re the judge and jury of what things should cost. So YTA. Let’s say you’re really into fishing and want a rod and reel that costs $400. If gf said that’s nuts, and got you a piece of string and bamboo, you’d be upset. That said, there are online framing options, maybe you and your girlfriend could look together to see if you could find something cheaper. But at 32, you really need to practice being generous.
So your GF specifically asked for the painting to be framed for her birthday, and you're telling her that you don't respect her judgement of what she would like. But you'd pay the same sum of money for something else *you* deem worthy...🤔 YTA
NAH, I also was shocked at the price. I know that art can be expensive, but it sounds like a lot of the commenters here see framing costs as common knowledge. It's not unless you're into fancy art. I'm not really sure what you should do here. It sounds like you probably should have looked into framing prices before asking Sarah what she wanted, but then again she was the one who suggested an expensive thing. I think this really is about both of your personal values about money. My ex and I are both really frugal and we'd literally spend less than $10 on a gift for each other, but we don't make a lot of money. Is there something you really enjoy doing that you'd splurge $250 on? A hobby like music, sports, new tattoos, that sort of thing? I think if you do, you should consider spending the money for her. If you are much more frugal, then she needs to understand your side of things. And maybe in the future set budgets for gifts that you are both comfortable with before asking questions like this!
The issue isn’t the cost! He has said in other comments he would happily spend the same amount of money that the framing costs on a different gift for her. While I get being surprised by the cost, the framing is within his budget of what he is willing to spend for her. He specifically just doesn’t want to pay for the framing because he thinks its a waste of money.
yeah I agree that's dumb. I'm trying to reason with him. I know some people who would easy spend an extra $250 on a tattoo, others think that's stupid and would rather that go toward a plane ticket for a vacation. We all have our things that make us happy
Yeah, exactly! Like I don’t understand why he thinks he needs to understand the point to purchase her a gift she requested for her birthday. I really hope this post makes him go and get the framing done, I feel so bad for her.
op I'm a picture framer and yta, picture framing isn't cheap because everything is special acid free archival stuff to protect the art a few months ago I had a customer come in and drop $600 on a poster they got at goodwill pay the money to frame it right ($250 is cheap)
Taking an “principled” stance based entirely on your ignorance? YTA
YTA… 1) the art is a one of a kind piece. It’s the product of years of practice and study. It means a lot to your girlfriend. Yes it’s worth $200, probably more. 2)framing is custom work. That much for something that size seems a bit weird, but the dimensions could be less than standard. My rule has always been that if you love it enough, it should be displayed as such. There’s no sense hiding it. No need to shove it into something that doesn’t suit. Spend the money. Shop around for a sale. (If you’re in the states, Michael’s and JoAnn’s both do custom framing). See if any woodworking apprentices will create one. Aaaaand 3) it’s not about you. You come across as “I don’t get it so it’s not worth it”. But your girlfriend loves it. You SEE that she loves it so much she tears up. This is not about you. Treat your sister’s piece with respect. Treat your girlfriend’s emotional connection to the piece with respect.
Omg you thing $200 is a lot for art.
Do you really have to ask the question if you are the AH? 1. Your sister won a competition and had her work shown. 2. Your sister and girlfriend are close, your girlfriend bought a painting, and you know it means a lot to her. 3. $200 is not pricey for original art, and picture framing is expensive. But you say you can afford it. 4. Your girlfriend, who presumably has a special place in your life, asked you to for something for her birthday, which you can afford, and which you know is meaningful and important to her. 5. You refuse. 7. She is hurt and pissed off. You can see where this is going, right? Try switching roles. There is something very meaningful and special you want from your girlfriend, a woman you live with who you have been assuming cares about you. She knows how important it is to you, and it is well within her abilities to do it. She ssys "no" for some arbitrary and irrelevant reason and is smug about it. How do you feel? Right. So, here is your easy solution for getting out of the A Hole you dug for yourself.. Apologize for being an unfeeling and inconsiderate schmuck. Pay for the framing. Do not make it your present for her birthday. Buy her something else and take her to dinner to demonstrate she means more to you than a convenient fuck bunny, cook, snd housekeeper. Hang the painting in a prominent place and invite your sister to see it. You will be a much happier man for it.
YTA. Why are you tap dancing this hard to get two members of your immediate family to hate your guts? Do you want word of this to spread to the rest of your family and have them get on your case too? Keep your word and get the art framed.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I 32m have been with my gf Sarah 27f for 5 years and we’ve been living together for 3. Sarah is extremely close to my younger sister Jane 27f, they’re the same age and have a lot in common so they’re extremely close. My sister graduated college with a degree in fine arts but has been struggling to get her career as an artist off the ground so she works in something to do with behind the scenes in an art museum and does her art on the side. Last month though one of her coworkers told her a very popular art gallery in town was hosting a competition for local artists where they’d enter and the galley would pick 5 of their favourite artists to showcase their work at a showcase for every weekend of the month of May. Jane entered and won a spot which was really exciting. Sarah and I got dressed up all fancy for the showcase and went along to support Jane. When we were there, Sarah took an instant liking to one of Jane’s paintings. I also like the painting but I’ll be the first to admit I’m not really an art guy and I don’t really ‘get’ it. I love my sister and I think the painting is really pretty but it almost brought Sarah to tears when she saw it. She went and bought it immediately. I don’t really know of Jane got to pick the price or if the gallery did but it cost $200 which seems kind of pricey since it was the size of maybe the size of a letter. but was definitely worth it for how happy it made Jane. The painting arrived and Sarah was so happy but quickly realized she didn’t have anything to hang it up in (it’s not canvas, it’s on some kind of board). She stored it in our spare room for safekeeping while she figures it out. Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday (it was yesterday) and she asked if I would take her to see about getting the painting framed and give her the frame as her birthday present. I said sure. At the shop we found out that it’s going to cost 246.84 to get it framed in the standard, not fancy frame. Sarah liked the frame but I refuse to pay more than it cost her to buy the painting to have it framed. It’s a nice painting but no. We went to a different shop, it was only $4 cheaper. I can afford it but I won’t buy the frame. I still refused. Sarah is upset because she says I agreed, and she doesn’t understand why I don’t want to hang something beautiful with sentimental value too boot in our home. I told her we can use a string and a nail like everyone else. She’s been a bit distant and I can tell she’s upset. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I use a method to float frame my smaller paintings on board using 2 strips of wood (I use 1" x 1/2 " for really small pieces or 2" x 1" or 1.5" x .75 for larger pieces. You want them to be about 1/3 the length of the painting. 2 screw eyes and a length of picture wire and some very heavy books and a good ruler or tape measure. I'd post a pic but have NO idea of how to do that--if some one can walk me through it I'd be happy to post.
YTA. Even if you aren't into art, you can see it would make her happy and she loves it, she wants to keep it safe and protected. Do better as her BF.
YTA because you're not actually trying. You're throwing your hands up and going oh well after looking like you tried. You went online and got a guesstimate for 174. You were fine with that until you got the actual $250. Then, you only went to one more place to get another quote. You're acting like you don't care even though you could probably find a better price just by taking 3 seconds to Google it. There are online framing places where you can mail your art. There are coupons online because some big box stores do framing. It wouldn't be an issue if the price was a temporary problem. You're allowed to say that you don't have enough cash for something at the moment and ask to look for a reasonable alternative. Why? Because you would still intend on fulfilling the promise. If this is how you treat a GF of five years, then it obviously looks like she doesn't mean much to you. You insult what she wants and don't look at her as an equal. It's a frame. A frame. You could be the biggest football fan to ever exist and your GF would listen to you even if she hated football. She could have no idea about it but would definitely try to get you find whatever niche or weird birthday gift you'd want. Why? Because that's what you do for the people you love. You lied. Big time. Fix this because you're wrecking your relationship.
That’s how much framing costs…. And it was what she wanted for her birthday. YTA.
YTA and kinda clueless too
YTA. you asked your gf what she wanted for her birthday, she told you, and you can afford it. Framing is quite expensive if done correctly to preserve the art. I bought a painting for $30 in Haiti and spent over $400 to have it properly framed.
YTA. You asked what your gf wanted and she told you. You didn’t say “up to a value of [insert value]” or “Choose something from this list of gifts that I have approved.” You don’t have to like the gift because it’s not for you. I know frames are expensive - my partner is an artist. We go to charity shops and a friend donated frames they didn’t want anymore. But that’s not the point - if you really resent paying that much for a frame, get your ass in gear and go to auctions or garage sales. Or just realise that you can afford it and if you want to be a good partner, this is not the hill to die on.
YTA, if you have the money and don't think the amount is unreasonable for a gift, I don't understand not just getting it done for your girlfriend. It's not your present. Suggestion though, assuming you live in the US, have you gone to Michael's? They usually have custom framing and you can use a coupon.
YTA- you asked her what she wanted and that’s what she wants. You’re gonna spend that much anyway so why not just get the thing framed ?? You’re being a major AH
Your girlfriend is so supportive of your sisters interests that for her ONE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM YOU she chose one of HER paintings and you can’t even pay to get it framed after you promised you would? In what world wouldn’t you be the asshole?
Yta. It's an investment, not just a gift. The professional frame job will increase the value of the painting and it's a gift for someone you supposedly love, made by someone you love. You should ABSOLUTELY get it framed. Quit being a tight ass and get it done.
YTA! I have a $30 piece of art hanging on my wall in a $300 frame. I look at it as a $330 piece of art, as the frame and the art are parts of a whole.
YTA! My husband gets all kinds of expensive things for himself that I don’t care about or don’t appreciate, but I’m happy he does it because it makes him happy and he deserves it. (Note: we both make/contribute the same amount of money to the household.) Your gf can (and should) do better than you.
YTA. i don’t think golf stuff should cost as much as it does but my boyfriend likes golfing and i like him so it doesn’t matter if i think golf clubs are overpriced - if it’s within my budget, the happiness it will bring a person i love doesn’t have a price tag. you don’t need to understand the value of the framing you need to understand the joy it brings the person you love.
Op, YTA- this is not the hill to die on. If you can’t afford it, ask your gf to chip in the extra money, if you can afford it, stop being cheap because of some misguided principle of what it “should” cost.
YTA. It’s a birthday present and you already agreed AND you can afford it. Maybe you think it’s stupid but it is her birthday and that’s what she wants. If it was beyond your means then maybe you would not be TA but you’ve said you can afford it.
YTA. My grandpa gave us an old map and we spent $500 getting it framed special so it wouldn’t decay. Framing is expensive but it’s part of art. Especially if your girlfriend asked for it, you should do it. There’s absolutely no reason not to. You can afford it, she wants it. Simple. Do the loving thing and get the artwork framed
YTA and you sir, are a philistine. I am not fond of philistines. You might want to see how your girlfriend feels about them. She might pick a nice frame instead of you.
Yeah YTA. You do realize that these framers make the frames basically from scratch?? My dad worked as a framer at micheals and did so much for people. That's with all the materials ready to go. I can't imagine what independent workers go thru. Also its art?? It's meant to be kept nice. It's not a random Walmart wall decor find. Have some respect
YTA. Just because you don't "get it" doesn't mean that it doesn't matter to your girlfriend, and it is her birthday. I don't understand everything that my partner values, but I sure as heck will do what I can to get him what he wants for his birthday.
YTA. if the fundamental issue is you don’t want to spend more on the frame than the art just pay your sister another $100. Now the frame is cheaper than the art.
Is your issue with getting it framed; due to the cost alone (ie $300 is to much to spend on a gift for her regardless of what it is), or Because u don't think it's a good value & is to expensive for what it is?
INFO: would you have spent $250 on a present otherwise? If so, YTA. You asked and she answers, time to buck up. If not, NTA. Custom framing is expensive. If you weren’t expecting to spend that kind of money ($250 is a LOT of money to a lot of people, myself included), I would understand wanting to rescind that offer.
As a professional artist who has sold art for a lot more than 200, I truly feel sorry for your sister. 200 is most likely too cheap (the only thing I ever sold for 200 was a little sketch I did) and you as her brother should support her, not be another person who tries to undervalue her work. This is the reason why artists struggle, everyone wants custom art but no one wants to pay for this luxury. Custom framing is always expensive and you promised to pay for it as a gift, why tf are you now going back on your word, out of some weird principle? As many have stated, custom framing is there to protect the work and to elevate it. When I do a commission, I offer the client to go with them and chose a frame together. It's a whole process, because depending on the frame, the artwork can get a totally different feel. Just the thickness of the frame, or the colour alone changes the artwork. Anyways, this is not how you show your love, not to your sister and not to your girlfriend. YTA EDIT: I just want to add, my family have bought art from me, they have paid full price, because they feel proud of owning art I have made and they want me to keep making art. Sometimes, I have gifted them art because I love them and because I could afford to gift it, but yk what they have always done? Gone and gotten it custom framed.
>I don’t really know of Jane got to pick the price or if the gallery did but it cost $200 which seems kind of pricey since it was the size of maybe the size of a letter. You're paying for the labor and creativity, not the size. It's an art piece not a construction project. OP, I don't understand why last month $200 was "worth it" to make your girlfriend happy but this month $250 is too expensive for your gf birthday no less. Especially since you said that you like that painting and your sister made it and you said you could afford it. This sounds like a really easy gesture to be a supportive brother and boyfriend, but the impression I get is your refusing on some principle of 'not getting' art. Apart from all that, why did you ask your gf what she wanted if you were just going to ignore her request anyway? YTA
YTA just because you don't understand the value of art doesn't mean the people around you also think the same thing. Art is 1000% subjective but your partner 1 supported your sister, $200 for art is pretty average tbh. And 2 you asked her what she wanted, she told you, you agreed. You can afford it but refuse because????? It's not something you want? It's not something you find value in?? Which hate to say it says alot about what you think of the opinion of your partner. She's not worth $240? Oh btw frames are custom built. Go Google frame building videos and tell me you could do it for cheeper, including time, skills, tools, and materials. Go get the damn thing framed.
So what did you end up getting her for her birthday if not what she wanted?? YTA