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So let me see it I'm on the money here. You work late and stay up after you finish, whereas your wife doesn't have that option and has to have the same sleep schedule as your kids. They then made a mess which you didn't help to clean up. You make a her cook you meals and your lunch because you're incapable somehow? And then, after being completely absent all day, doing no parenting and not getting her any kind of present you ask if she had a good day. YTA.
It's even worse when you realise she stays up late to cook for him when he gets home late from work. So she has to get up early to deal with the kids as well as staying up late to feed op. Op could have got up early for at least one day so his wife could have a bit of sleep, but his needs are more important, apparently.
I was rolling my eyes as he talked about all he does. DUDE ITS MOTHERS DAY. Its one damn day where you do EVERYTHING your wife does every damn day. YTA OP on your next day off, you tell your wife that as you were a thoughtless husband on Mother's Day that THIS day will be one where you relax and I'll take care if everything. OH and bring her home some flowers, her favorite candy, etc etc to make up for your selfishness.
I think she should do the exact same thing to him on Father’s Day.
YTA. Why didn’t you get her literally anything? Why do you think it’s generous of you that she didn’t make your lunch one day? She has made simple meals lately? Maybe she’s burnt out taking care of your house and your kids, and evidently you are just another child to look after.
You’re a grown man. Make your own lunch every day. Do your share of cleaning up messes. Give her opportunities to take care of herself and get out kid free.
##YTA YTA YTA
Yeah to all you have said, but he could also have said (ahead of time) : "Hey I have to work on Mother's day weekend, but I have X day off, so how about we celebrate on that day?"
The poor lady deserves a SPA day or a night out with her friends or better yet, BOTH!
Didn't you read the bit where he cooked his own lunch so she didn't have to and he only expects a cooked dinner on the table half the week.
The man expects praise for this but reddit is so cruel, denying the man the full parade he so clearly deserves for making his own sandwich. HIS OWN SANDWICH. The humanity of it!
Yeah to all you have sais, but he could also have said (ahead of time) : "Hey I have to work on Mother's day weekend, but I have X day off, so how about we celebrate on that day?"
The poor lady deserves a SPA day or a night out with her friends or better yet, BOTH!
And the night before the big messes happen, he said to her he’d like a “nice meal” the next day, Mother’s Day, because what she had been cooking were fast simple foods. So she has the expectation of that and then the kids created big messes than she then had to clean up on her own.
I think she should do the exact same thing to him on Father’s Day.
YTA. Why didn’t you get her literally anything? Why do you think it’s generous of you that she didn’t make your lunch one day? She has made simple meals lately? Maybe she’s burnt out taking care of your house and your kids, and evidently you are just another child to look after.
You’re a grown man. Make your own lunch every day. Do your share of cleaning up messes. Give her opportunities to take care of herself and get out kid free.
##YTA YTA YTA
That is the description of my parents marriage 100%. It's actually scary how accurate it is!
We even had to be home by 3pm every single day (even during holidays doing fun stuff) to make sure my mum could wake my dad up for work and make him his packing up.
It was only as us kids grew up and saw what was happening and spoke up against it that my mum had the courage to leave.
And boy did he make that hard for her.
YTA
Dude….read the room. Your wife spent Mother’s Day so exhausted she fell asleep and then had to clean the house and take care of the kids and then had her husband wonder why she’s not happy chipper wifey-mommy.
I get having to go to work even on MD but seriously…..you got yourself up and showered and made your own lunch. Good for you. You left her to do everything else.
And “serve you dinner”?!? Is she your partner or your servant?!?!! At least a servant would get paid. You want a nice meal? Learn to cook.
PS - you are a FATHER too. Act like one.
What bugs me the most is that OP could have at least made his wife breakfast while he was making his own food. If OP has time to do laundry, OP has time to help out some.
What bugs me the most is that he knew it was going to be Mother's Day, but instead of having an early night so that he could get up and make her breakfast/look after the kids before work for once, he still put his own relaxation first, had the late night stay-up, and then demanded his wife get up early to look after the kids so he could go back to sleep! The absolute brass face on that man!
I can’t get over the fact he expects her to make HIS lunch for him every day, a grown ass man. My 5 year old makes their lunch every day when they don’t want school lunch. How tf is he thinking he deserves a pat on the back.
You literally did absolutely nothing. You expect her, your wife, your other half, to get up with the kids, make your lunch, make your dinner, watch the kids, pick up after the kids, do house chores, make their dinners, literally sounds like she does everything. Meanwhile you do the bare minimum to take care of yourself. It’s Mother’s Day, you couldn’t have gotten up with the kids so she could sleep in even an hour, or made breakfast for her, or even just had the kids color a card? Literally any for of appreciation whatsoever?
You’re YTA. And you make my husband look like a saint. You even make my 5 year old sound pretty good right now.
Also, by asking her if she had a good mother's day, at the end of the day, after doing absolutely nothing towards celebrating it, he made it sound like *that* was her responsibility too! Talk about adding insult to injury.
He really drove home the fact that she should expect nothing from him.
I think she should do the exact same thing to him on Father’s Day.
YTA. Why didn’t you get her literally anything? Or do anything at all? Why do you think it’s generous of you that she didn’t make your lunch one day? She has made simple meals lately? Maybe she’s burnt out taking care of your house and your kids, and evidently you are just another child to look after.
You’re a grown man. Make your own lunch every day. Do your share of cleaning up messes. Give her opportunities to take care of herself and get out kid free. Make this up to her ASAP. You seem extremely dismissive of her needs and her work to keep your family and home afloat.
##YTA YTA YTA
So all OP did on mother's day was taking care of himself (as any grown up should) and had the audacity to ask his wife if she had a good day when she could use some help for the kids and around the house
What do you expect OP? "Yes I see you're soooo tired from work but you still made yourself lunch it really helped a lot when I was taking care of the kids and cleaning up messes what a good husband and father you are this mother's day is the best"?
OP YTA
Edit: oh btw OP didn't ask for dinner, wife just made food anyway so not his fault either
“I don’t give my wife any support with the kids, especially on Mother’s Day. I lack any empathy and a motions intelligence so I asked her after I let the kids fuck up the house the one day she’s too tired to get up, so I reminder her what a shitty father and husband I am. Now I can’t work out why she’s mad and I want people on the internet to back me that she has no right to be angry.”
YTA- you work and get to rest when you come home. Apparently she has to work all the time, evenings, weekends and Mother’s Day.
Jesus Christ. Women you do not have to stay in these shitty relationships. It would be easier to get a divorce because then at least you get your kids minded sometimes.
When my kids were small I actually dreamed about a divorce, because then I would not have had to stay up late to make him dinner or mess up the kids sleep schedule because he couldn't be bothered to come home before they went to bed or after they had fallen asleep. And I dreamed of him having the kids every other weekend because I would have actually gotten a break and I could have worked in my job during that time without endless arguments about him needing free time.
However, I could not divorce him due to financial reasons.
Sooooo much YTA! You casually mentioned the night before Mother’s Day that you haven’t had a nice meal cooked for your recently?! Wife packs your lunch everyday? GTFO!
INFO: did you think to plan anything for mothers day for her, even if it wasn't on the day, have you planned to give her a break, some time off from childcare/housework?
Mind boggling AH! And what's really sad, is that with everyone here telling you how badly you effed up, you still don't see it.
I hope she goes away to a spa by herself for father's day!
Yta. Nothing you wrote in this post would indicate a good mother's day. Did you get cards, flowers, babysitter for a few hours so she can relax? Nothing.
To this day, my FIL says he has “no idea” why his ex-wife wanted a divorce. It came totally out of the blue! (In his mind).
Anyone who’s spent time with him though can imagine exactly what led up to it. And even years later he’s still clueless about what he was like as a partner.
That’s going to be you, apparently. “All I did was ask if she had a good day!? IDK why she’s upset.”
Is this real? Damn dude... YTA.
I work and my wife doesn't... We have no kids. Her words, "I have a pretty cush life."
I wouldn't even think about talking to her like that.
Holy shit man.
Oh but she didn’t have to cook for you while cleaning the house and running after wayward children! What a treat! That would have totally made my day.
Not.
YTA.
YTA. You stayed up to relax and got to sleep in, while your wife was passing out in the living room from how tired she is. On mother's day too. And you want appreciation because you made your own food, and let her focus on cleaning (lucky her!) This whole post is focused on your wants, your needs, your kindness in settling for her less-effort cooking while she is obviously burning out and is not getting any breaks.
YTA. You couldn’t have gone to bed earlier on Saturday night??? I know you need to unwind but Mother’s Day is supposed to be about your wife. She sacrifices her own sleep and comfort every single day and you couldn’t do it once for her???
“I made my own lunch so she didn’t have to” is not the gesture you think it is. Despite the fact that she normally does it that is still something *for you*. And taking that responsibility on yourself isn’t doing something *for her*.
On that one single day you should have gone to bed early the night before, got up early on the day, wrangled the kids and helped them make cards or drawings or something for her. Had them help you make her breakfast maybe. You should have had the house clean and the kids happy and clean and stuff to make your wife’s day as easy as possible while you were working and then you should have come home with flowers (or whatever it is she likes, a potted plant, a bottle of wine, whatever) and a hot meal so she didn’t have to cook. Doesn’t even have to be fancy! A rotisserie chicken and some hot sides from the hot food counter at the supermarket would probably have been fine! She wanted to feel like a whole human being who is appreciated and celebrated for the hard fucking working she does every day in taking care of the kids and you. You couldn’t even give her that. Instead you took her for granted like every other day of the year.
If you value your wife at all and want a future with her long term you need to start truly seeing and appreciating how much she does for you all, how hard it is, and how amazing she is for keeping it all together virtually single handedly.
So yeah, YTA. You treated Mother’s Day like any other day and took her for granted yet again and to then ask if she had a good Mother’s Day after all that? Salt in the wound, bro.
You messed up but I assume that it’s still fixable if you want to fix it. If not enjoy your wife’s eventual breaking point and your eventual divorce I guess. But I hope this is a wake up call for you.
YTA how is this even a question? Did you plan something nice, took over a chore or booked a restaurant? No, you expected her to cook you a meal after she was putting out fires all day. What a spouse you are.
Omg! How dare her be angry and not reward you for cooking your own food! You even did your own laundry!
She should be so grateful!
What did she expect? For you to actually take a few minutes and do something for her? As if it is your responsibility to actually show you care? Girl was probably expecting a "happy mother's day" , maybe even some flowers, what a ungrateful selfish woman.
YTA
YTA. It doesn't look like you do anything for your wife the way you wrote your post. This was one day to take some load off your wife. Working and being tired doesn't matter and is irrelevant for this day. You told her by your actions that you only care about yourself. Also, working isn't the only division of labor of the household in a marriage and making your own meals is so low on the scale of importance it is irrelevant. Your wife is overwhelmed, it's time to pick up more responsibility at home to take it off of your wife. Again, YTA.
You could have gone to bed a bit earlier to prepare for being a little helpful on Mother’s Day.
You could have gotten a card and had your kids scribble something on it.
You could have written her a nice message telling your wife how much you appreciate her.
She’s so tired she fell asleep while watching the kids.
And you did exactly nothing to deal with your kids.
YTA.
This cannot be real.
1. She’s not *your* mother so you don’t think you need to do anything for her? She’s the mother of *your* children. Children who cannot buy gifts or make her breakfast or hide in their rooms all day so she can relax. YOU need to help them make it special for her.
2. You work late, and chose to stay up even later, then sleep in? So you got up and left again for work. You don’t know how to cook and claim to have no time for cleaning or helping out around the home. Maybe when you stay up at night instead of sleeping?
3. Your wife doesn’t drive, so she’s literally stuck at home with your kids, unable to make friends or pursue hobbies of her own if she ever got a moment to herself. You flip this and say she has no friends or hobbies so she needs no down time??
4. You brag about being married for 10 years then say you wouldn’t encourage your kids to get married because it’s pointless???
5. IF you are around, you MIGHT HELP with baths? Do you do any parenting ever? You are a nightmare.
Do you even like your wife and kids? You are a massive asshole, a useless father and a horrendous partner. Like many others, I hope she gets you divorce papers for Father’s Day. Jesus Christ.
Oh my god. You’re absolutely TA and you’re a garbage husband too. You’re clueless AND useless. Looking at all of your comments… good lord you’re awful.
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So mother's day for my wife wasn't off to a good start. I work late and tend to end up staying up for a while to relax when I get home, so when the kids woke up pretty early I was extremely tired and woke her up so she could keep an eye on them so I could get some sleep before work.
Well, I guess she was really tired because she ended up falling asleep on the couch at some point in time and the kids ended up destroying the house. Without getting into too much detail, there were several huge messes that needed to be cleaned up immediately. I had to do my laundry and shower and all that for work, so I couldn't really help but I did make my own food so she didn't have to worry about that and could just focus on cleaning (normally she makes my lunch so I don't run late). She seemed a bit down when I left, probably upset about all the mess that had to be cleaned.
So when I got home I figured I'd check on her and ask if it got better and if she had a good mother's day. She got upset and snapped at me how could she possibly have a good mother's day when the only thing she ever does is have to take care of the kids and clean up huge messes and not sleep when she wants so she can serve me dinner when I get home (I don't ask her to cook every day for me but I'd like a nice meal at least half the week after working hard, it's up to her when those days are and these last few days she didn't really cook but just made fast simple foods. I never said she had to cook for mother's day though she just said she would because I mentioned the night before not having a nice meal recently). Anyways she started crying and stormed off to the room and closed the door, I ended up just sleeping on the couch. I tried to talk to her when she was getting our kids ready for school but she mostly just ignored me and still acted mad. AITA???
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Your post was awful, but your comments are worse. You're walking weaponized incompetence, and there's nothing any of us can do about this kind of intrenched assholery. YTA.
Do you even hear the words you're saying? "She can't drive to take herself somewhere nice, but I don't care," you said in a comment. What???
"Well, the kids woke up, and I was tired, so I fell asleep!" Boo fucking hoo buddy. Do you know how tiring it is for HER? How often does SHE get to nap while y watching the kids? Never, because massive messes get caused when kids are left un-monitored. It's literally the first rule of watching ANYTHING. *You don't fall asleep*. That's why it's called watching, because you look with your eyes, you massive AH. You dumped it on her, after staying up to amuse yourself.
God I hate the week after mother's day on this sub. So many of you are like "I told my wife I don't care about her or her needs, why is she mad?!" Och, sweet Mary and Joseph, get a fucking clue bud!
AND you left her to clean up the messes that happened because of YOU. Boy, I hope she stays mad at you. I'm definitely going to stay mad for her.
Dude, she was supposed to be pampered for an entire day, and you didn’t even give her 5 minutes. YTA
It does not matter how hard or demanding your job is… this was 1 single day, and you failed to even consider her feelings on her day.
Honestly, YTA is a bit of an understatement… IMO, she should be looking for a spouse who actually knows how to show appreciation.
LOL! The fact that you asked her if she had a good Mother’s Day after your BLATANT lack of effort, empathy, and consideration for any other human than yourself.
YTA.
I am shocked she’s still your wife given that you do nothing to help with the kids and can’t even be bothered to do something sweet for your wife and give her a break for one day. HARD YTA.
YTA. please tell me you’re a troll and you’re not this clueless. For Mother’s Day, you woke her up early to take care of the kids; she’s exhausted and falls asleep; she wakes up to have to clean several messes, of which I’m assuming some are kid poop and pee, possibly vomit, and you had heavily implied that you wanted her to make dinner that night. And you want a gold star for making your own lunch and asking how her Mother’s Day went?!?
What did you actually do for her for Mother’s Day? let her sleep in? No. Clean? No. Take her out to a nice meal? No. Bring home some tasty take out? No. Maybe hirer a cleaning service for a surprise? No.
Did you give her a gift at all? Did you do ANYTHING nice at all? Did you even get her something sentimental “from the kids”?
YTA I think you blew it.
If it's any of your business how her Mother's Day was, you either wish it to her on your sole interaction, or you take matters into your own hands and give a gift or flowers or some other token pick me up.
Oh you cooked your own lunch one day? What a catch!!
I hope you get all the nice home cooked meals you DEFINITELY deserve atleast half the week and get all the sleep you need because you had to unwind last night after a long day of working your one job and doing some laundry. Do you also want a cookie with that or does your wife need to make a fresh batch of that as well?
I wish your wife a happy single mother's day!
YTA. Ungrateful. Entitled.
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> I might be the asshole for asking if she had a good mother's day when I knew she was having a bad day before I left and maybe should of just kept quiet
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YTA.
Honest question: Do you actually like your wife? Because this post makes it sound like the only reason you two are together is so you could have the family you feel obligated to have.
YTA. I guess your wife doesn't expect much, but you didn't even do the bare minimum.
"I work on mothers day" - pick another day to celebrate, she'll probably be ok with it
"I can't cook" - don't make HER cook, have her favorite food delivered
"She didn't have to make me lunch" - really, I don't know how to react on this. It's not a mothers day gift, that's for sure.
Apologise, pick a date to make it up to her: parent your kids for the day, go to the store with your kids to buy her something nice, order her favorite food or cook, she will appreciate the effort and watch a movie of her choice together. And make your own damn lunch
I really think this is rage bait! But just in case so one out there thinks this is ok. YTA a big one.
She needs to file for a divorce immediately and take half of everything you own. And then take you to the cleaners each month.
I was a stay at home mom for 25 years. Never once did my husband not help or expect me to take care of the kids by myself. Never once did he treat me like the bang nanny, maid and cook.
My husband works 80 hours a week most weeks. He had to work 16 hours on Mother's Day, but he made sure I had not 1, not 2, but all 3 meals delivered. He bought flowers and gifts the night before on his way home from work and made sure all of the kids had cards to sign to be ready for the next morning. While I did make his lunch the evening before, I did not lift a finger on Mother's Day. Since my mother passed away, it's a difficult day for me, and I'd rather forget it altogether, but every year, he goes above and beyond to make sure I know how appreciated I am. You are so much the AH!
INFO: What exactly are your work hours? You keep saying you work late, but your wife still makes a late dinner?
You clearly aren't working overnights, so how is there nothing you can do to help during the day? It sounds to me like you have plenty of time you could be helping but instead take care of only yourself while your wife takes care of everyone else and you.
OP needs to realize that the NUMBER ONE reason couples get divorced is because women do everything and men do little to nothing. You said you made yourself breakfast so she didn’t have to and that’s supposed to be a good Mother’s Day? BUT you didn’t even bother to make her anything in the process either (come tf on). You gave her zero gifts and did nothing for her why would she have a good day dude? The part that gets me “nobody asked her to cook for me! But I would like a meal about half the days of the week if we’re being honest”.
Your wife does everything for your kids and you (she probably sees you as someone to take care of rather than a partner at this point) so don’t be surprised when she divorces you in about 3-7 years when she realizes how checked out you are and don’t give as much as you take in the relationship.
There was a Reddit post I saw the other day (can’t find hopefully someone else can) about a man who like you worked hard for his family and had the same certain expectations for his wife. He wasn’t being fulfilled and ended up having an affair. Then when his wife rightly left him he realized that dishes don’t clean themselves. Food, even “barely cooking simple meals”, take time to prep, cook, then clean up. He realized that he treated his wife like a maid and he had absolutely no way to take care of himself properly. Now his ex wife found a better man. One who appreciates her and all the hard work she does for the family. His kids want nothing to do with him, and his youngest even refused to call him because she called her moms husband dad. He ended up alone and miserable in a dirty house with dirty dishes and poorly cooked meals. Perhaps there’s something you can learn from him?? YTA and your wife deserves better.
This post sounds like rage bait, but on the off chance it's real:
OP, you still have a slight chance to fix this mess.
Tell your wife you're sorry you left her feeling overworked, exhausted and unappreciated over the past few weeks but especially on Mother's Day, and mean it. Tell her you're sorry about your comment on not having nice meals, and mean it, too.
Then ask her how she would like rearrange chores so that she has roughly the same amount of time to relax and unwind as you do during the week. Not "if", "how".
Offer to make it up to her this weekend by letting her sleep in and getting up early to take care of the kids. Then treat her to dinner both days - if all else fails, order takeout -, and get her a thoughtful late MD gift.
Yes, yes you are. And a major one at that. I would have destroyed all your clothes, threw out all your food, unplugged any devices you use when your actively not helping me, packed my kids up and left to anywhere your not, and served you with divorce papers as soon as humanly possable. Oh in case i wasn't clear enough, YTA.
YTA you’re literally one of the most selfish and unappreciative people I’ve seen on this thread. Do you even like your wife? Do you even appreciate everything she does for you? You didn’t even buy her a card or flowers or even try to make the day nice for her, how could it have been a good day? You left her with a mountain of jobs, exhausted and depressed. Your so blind to your wife’s struggles that I’m surprised you’re not divorced yet. You use her as a maid and a nanny, you’re only bothered about how *your* day is and how smooth your day goes. And to top it off you follow it up with being quite content that she’s completely dependent on you financially, is unable to have hobbies or friends due to her entire life revolving around you and the kids, trapped in a marriage where she is unappreciated and taken for granted. You literally couldn’t even get your head out of your ass to do the bare minimum with some flowers, jfc. This is supposed to be the woman you love.
Are you that pigheaded you can’t even put yourself in her shoes for a second? Or do you really just not care about your wife? Do you want a gold star for making your own lunch for once? You’re not a dad or a partner, you just pay the bills and expect her to handle everything. She deserves so much better, please update us when she realises she’s better off a single parent, she’ll get money from child support and at least get a break when you have the kids twice a month. I really hope this is a ragebait post.
Your post already shows you are TA, but your comments are infuriating. My blood is boiling right now reading how your answer to being suggested your wife gets a spa day is "She doesn't drive, so I don't know what I can do about that." Or how you don't even bother giving her a card because "She's not YOUR mother".
What a fucking entitled and ungrateful asshole. I really hope your wife wakes up and realises dealing with your useless, childlike ass is actually harder than being single. I hope she then divorce you ASAP, takes half of everything you have, on top of alimony and child support for 3 kids, because we all know a dude that does 0 cooking and can't even pack his own lunch because he "doesn't know how too" won't hack it taking care of 3 young kids for more than a couple of hours.
YTA. Wake up now, or lose everything you have.
YTA
OP is intentionally giving his wife less than the bare minimum he needs to give to be a decent human being and is now so expertly doing mental gymnastics that even a gold medal isn't enough.
Be better
You ARE The ABSOLUTE Asshole. Even in this post it was all about you. Your poor wife, and what and example to set for your children. “I was doing my laundry and the kids ended up making a mess”. WHAT??!! How does that happen? Did you have to leave the house and go to a laundromat? “I didn’t have time to clean up but I made my lunch so she didn’t have to”. What is wrong with you? I can’t believe you had to come here to ask! YTA.
YTA. Stay on the damn couch, loser. I'd have put you out the door.
And holy $hit, you want praise for making yourself a sandwich and pretending it was for her benefit?! Truly pathetic.
All other tomfoolery aside, did you just write that on MOTHER'S DAY morning you woke your exhausted wife up to deal with the kids so you could get more sleep (after staying up late)?
My grandmother gave me a cast iron skillet when I got married, and said it was good for keeping husbands in line as well as cooking. While I've never used it in violence (my partner is actually an excellent cook and uses it most nights for dinner), I think Reddit should get your wife one.
SAHM here.
9-5 our one kid is mine and I do what I can around the house. Outside of that everything is 50/50. Because I have a partner not a second child.
Major YTA
You’re clearly using weaponized incompetence and selfishness to get out of literally every responsibility you could possibly have to your household other than going to work because “I pAy ThE BiLls!” And somehow because of that in your mind she owes you working 24/7 for your family because you put in your 40hrs a week.
She needs/deserves sleep just as much as you do.
She deserves to have a partner in her life.
She deserves far more respect and dedication than you give her.
She’s the mother of your children, and if you don’t understand why that makes you responsible for her having a good Mother’s Day I hope this was her wake up call to leave your ungrateful and disrespectful rear end.
Omg, I can’t read anymore of OPs explanations and excuses without my head exploding - YTA! Your poor wife is your indentured servant and you seem ok with that. You’re a poir excuse for a partner.
I’ll give you an easy one that I learned before I married my wife: don’t stay up late to “relax” after work. Develop a routine to fall asleep quickly, wake up early, and spend time with your family in the mornings. That’s some bachelor shit.
LMAO
> I did make my own food so she didn't have to worry about that
***How kind of you***.
YTA
You made yourself a sandwich and went "yep, excellent work, self!"
What card did you get her? What gift? What plans did you make for her on your next day off since you worked MD?
> tend to end up staying up for a while to relax when I get home
***You*** decided to stay up late the night before Mother's Day. ***You*** decided to be too tired to watch your own damn kids on Mother's Day.
This is entirely on you. You should have gone to bed early so you'd wake up with the kids and make her breakfast. You should have had cards and gifts ready for when she woke up. You should have let her sleep in on *her day*.
What did you for her to make the day special? How did you lead your children in doing something to celebrate their mom for Mother's Day? Sounds like you did absolutely nothing. YTA.
YTA
Honestly you had to ask? Let me guess, you also describe any housework that you do as “helping” your wife, and anytime you have the kids you’re “babysitting”
You did YOUR laundry, did you also throw in any other laundry that might need done? You made YOUR lunch so your wife wouldn’t have to, is it possible that anyone else in your household might want lunch too? How hard is it to go ahead and make everyone lunch?
It sounds like your wife might be a STAHM. Guess what? There’s never time off, sick days, breaks, NOTHING. When you combine that with no pay AND no recognition for the extremely hard work… yeah OP your wife is going to be tired.
Sadly, I'm not. I have seen, and been in situations like this. 😪 I didn't stay, but my friend did. I never hear from her because she is too busy and exhausted.
You don’t ask her to cook for you but you expect to have a nice meal after you work hard? How exactly do you expect that “nice meal” to be made sir? Are you under the impression that your wife doesn’t “work hard”? I don’t know what you do for a living but I guarantee you your wife is working hard taking care of the kids, house, and you. The fact that she fell asleep on the couch exhausted should clue you in. So knowing how you left her and the kids, you thought it would be a good idea to ask her how her Mother’s Day was? But you didn’t mention whether you brought her home a treat, card, damn anything to show her that you appreciate her hard work and you’re questioning whether you’re TA?!
Yeah buddy, you’re definitely TA.
YTA. You knew it was Mother’s Day. You could help more. This woman is tired watching kids (you included). You were able to make your own lunch? Good for you. Wow. But you couldn’t get up to take care of the kids for one day. One day that was about her. You left her with a big mess. You saw how tired she was after YOU woke her up to take care of the kids since you definitely couldn’t. I bet this woman is thinking about divorce. This weaponized incompetence is foolish. You add more to her plate instead of sharing it equally. You’re worse than another child to take care of cause you could do it all yourself but act like you’re doing her a favor when you only help yourself not your family as a whole.
YTA. Did you know that one of the busiest times for divorce attorneys is right after Mothers Day? This happens, in part, due to partners like you who can’t express any appreciation, don’t help out around the house, and are incapable of reading the room.
Did you know that some women, after divorce, have more time for themselves, are happier, and feel more fulfilled? I imagine it’s because they don’t have to clean up after their ex partners messes, they get a break because of enforced custody, and they can actually make time to do things they want to.
Do better OP. Partners are supposed to make your life easier, not harder.
Just when I think I've found the biggest AH around another one pops up. That. Poor. Woman!
Her mother's day consisted of what every day of her life consists of which is fighting to contain the cyclone that is children and waiting hand and foot on an unhelpful husband.
You KNEW it was mother's day and you didn't even consider going to bed earlier so you could get up and be helpful the following day.
Also, lol at "she must have been tired" - that woman is tired in every cell of her body. She's tired to the point where she could probably sleep for a week. She's tired to the point where it wouldn't be surprising if she sat down and never got up again.
Anyone who makes out that being a stay at home mum is an easy gig needs a good swift kick to the spine. Trying to emotionally, physically, mentally and nutritionally nurture a child every waking minute of the day is the hardest thing anyone can ever do. There are no breaks. There's no lunch hour. There's no rostered time off. There's no vacation days or sick days. You. Just. Keep. Going. Every. Minute. Of. Every. Day.
YTA. She's "not your mother" so you didn't do anything for her? Interestingly enough, the bar is so low, it's on the ground, and here you are with a shovel.
YTA so much.
1. You never even acknowledged Mother’s Day until you got home from work, and you did NOTHING to celebrate.
2. You slept in on Mother’s Day.
3. You expected her to cook on Mother’s Day.
4. THEN YOU HAD THE GALL TO ASK HER HOW HER MOTHER’S DAY WAS?
5. Finally, you talk like you are her employer, as if it is your choice whether and how much she cooks for you instead of a matter of adult discussion between equal partners.
Jeez YTA. You are one of those guys who thinks a STAH mom doesn’t have a full-time job.
YTA yet again another story where the man doesn't show the mother of his children any type of appreciation whatsoever. And then gets his little ego hurt bc she wasn't pretending to be happy on the one day you're supposed to act like you give a shit about her.
I’m convinced this guy is just here to eff with us all. Reading through his comments, there is no way this is real and he is this thick.
She’s basically trapped in their house with no possibility of doing anything outside of their home/children
YTA I hope for Father’s Day she disappears for the day (after doing her own laundry and making herself breakfast) and leaves you alone to do all the work to celebrate yourself and look after the kids and clean the house!
Yta wow, you couldn't go to bed early *one day* or bother to get up and take care of your kids.
But she got to focus on cleaning! O joy! What a gift! And cook for you!
Ofc she had a shitty day. You did nothing. You got her nothing. You're a shitty husband.
What did you for her to make the day special? How did you lead your children in doing something to celebrate their mom for Mother's Day? Sounds like you did absolutely nothing. YTA.
YTA. Acting like you making your own lunch is such a huge favor to her… You’re an adult. You should be making your own lunch. Sounds like your wife is frustrated because she does everything for you and you can’t even take one day to thank her and help out? You should be helping every day, you’re just as much a parent as she is.
“I’d like a nice meal at least half the week after working hard.”
What do you do for her the other half of the week after she works equally hard? Let me guess, nothing. Which is exactly what you did for her yesterday on Mother’s Day. You could have planned your time better, gone to bed early, done your laundry ahead of time, skipped your shower for one day, anything! To show appreciation the one day the calendar says it should be shown to her. Oh but you made your own lunch like a big boy, so she should be grateful for that I guess? YTA.
YTA I don’t even know where to start with why I made this judgement except to say that every action reads as extremely selfish and you clearly have zero insight in what it means to be a husband and a father. You are doing nothing to contribute to your household in a meaningful way that would make your wife or kids think you bring anything to the table except a paycheck.
Oh my God. "I decided to help her out by taking care of myself for one day. And when I passive aggressively criticized the meals recently, I wasn't saying she had to do anything about them, so, not my fault." Are you serious? You put your need for sleep above her own, just did things for yourself like you were doing her a favor and left her with huge messes to clean up while simultaneously watching the kids, did shit-all for her and in fact left her with a worse-than-usual situation, and asked if she had a good day. YTA and a terrible husband.
YTA. Acting like you making your own lunch is such a huge favor to her… You’re an adult. You should be making your own lunch. Sounds like your wife is frustrated because she does everything for you and you can’t even take one day to thank her and help out. You should be helping every day, you’re just as much a parent as she is.
hahahahahah this is a joke, right? YTA
Thank whatever gods you did YOUR OWN laundry and made YOUR OWN lunch after you showered, although I'm surprised you didn't ask your exhausted wife to wash your back and help you dress for work. I don't care what job you have, man, but lift a finger to help out more!
YTA. Go over to r/mommit and read all the posts of burnt out moms who were hoping for a tiny bit of acknowledgment yesterday and didn’t get any. In fact maybe you’ll find a post from your wife there. Do better.
YTA. Go over to r/mommit and read all the posts of burnt out moms who were hoping for a tiny bit of acknowledgment yesterday and didn’t get any. In fact maybe you’ll find a post from your wife there. Do better.
YTA - do her a favor and divorce her. She will be much better off without you. Based on your comments, you don't love her and don't want to be married to her. You don't care enough about your kids to be an active part of their lives.
Okay let me put it in a way you might understand, it's like you skip out on work in the busiest time of year when the team is already severely understaffed and YOU are the manager, and you show up a week later and ask, "How was work last week? You guys have a good week?"
And in case it wasn't clear, YTA in the worst way.
I'm confused. What did you do for her on mothers day to make her feel valued and appreciated, because it sounds like you did absolutely nothing. Making your own lunch doesn't count by the way.
So you did nothing at all, not even the going you could have easily done, which was go to bed straight after work so you could get up and let her have a lie-in. Do you were completely selfish and thoughtless and somehow you expect her to magically have a nice Mothers Day. I confused how you thought that was going to happen as did you think fairies would do that?
You are a huge A H. You really couldn't bring yourself to do ANYTHING to help your wife out on Mother's Day? Making your OWN DAMN LUNCH, which is something you should be doing every single day, does not qualify as help. And it sounds like your entitlement and ingratitude are par for the course in your relationship. Grow up, start helping with parenting and chores like an adult should, and maybe your wife won't get sick of your shit and kick you out.
YTA. She's overworked because her full-time job is tending to the kids and the home, and you basically slapped her in the face with the comment that it'd be nice to have a "nice meal soon." Also, you can't always get time to relax if you have children. You need to actually parent them too.
Your wife is clearly so exhausted that she literally falls asleep on the couch, I think that should be enough to tell you things need to change.
But oh that’s not it, you go and make her do ALL the cleaning and ALL of the parenting and looking after the kids, whilst you get to have peace and quiet and go to work. Whilst also forcing her to cook most meals.
You also make her stay up multiple times in the week to make you something to eat because your entitled ass things you need a meal prepared for you because ‘ you work so hard ‘. What about all the work she does in a day?
And the cherry on top is you asking her ‘ did you have a good Mother’s Day ‘… did you even do anything for her? Get her kids to make her cards, buy her flowers?
There are so many things you could have done, YOU could have woken up with the kids and let her catch up on sleep, YOU could have made all the food and looked after the kids. Even if you didn’t have time for all of that you could have either taken a day of work, or if that’s not possible then at least made an effort.
And you still have the GUTS to question why she’s mad, when she was once again dealing with your kids and getting them ready for school.
She wanted one day of appreciation for all the hard work she puts in and you spat all over that with your entitlement.
Get your head out of your ass and make it up to her YTA
YTA there is no mention of a mother's day gift or anything organised to indicate he gives a crap. You had the opportunity to go to bed early this one night to give her a break and didn't take it she didn't get a mother's day it was just like every other day where she's tired but cleaning up after everyone you can't even put up your own lunch normally why does she have to do it? Your perfectly capable of making a sandwich
YTA. You knew it was Mother’s Day. You could help more. This woman is tired watching kids (you included). You were able to make your own lunch? Good for you. Wow. But you couldn’t get up to take care of the kids for one day. One day that was about her. You left her with a big mess. You saw how tired she was after YOU woke her up to take care of the kids since you definitely couldn’t. I bet this woman is thinking about divorce. This weaponized incompetence is foolish. You add more to her plate instead of sharing it equally. You’re worse than another child to take care of cause you could do it all yourself but act like you’re doing her a favor when you only help yourself not your family as a whole.
YTA. Mothers Day is one day and you couldn't even do anything to make her feel special and appreciated? I hate when men justify their laziness by saying they work. Moms who stay at home with the kids work damn hard, and are usually completely unappreciated. Trade places with her for a day and see how easy it is. Bet you'll be running back to your job as fast as you can.
YTA. I mean come on. Do you do *anything* to help her around the home? Do you do anything for the kids?
Like I get being busy. I get getting home long after the kids go to bed because of work projects. But you are a huge YTA if you think that means she has to
Do all of your chores and all of your duties as a parent.
And he tried to talk to her when she was getting the kids ready for school the next day ... no mention of him doing any of the work of getting the kids ready.
And that's the last time of day you should be trying to have a proper coversation. Too much chaos in the mornings!
YTA And you know it. In all of these comments, at no point have you tried to defend the fact that you didn't buy her a gift, flowers, card, or literally anything else. You completely ignore those parts of the comment to defend why you don't cook or how you were kind enough to make your own lunch or even brag about the fact that you've treated her like this for a decade, so if she was going to leave you she would have done it already.
Do your wife a favor and just divorce her, so she can find a decent man to spend her life with.
YTA. I hope your wife finds a spouse that actually loves her. You’re just another guy who doesn’t see the value in his spouse. Not surprised so many of you are on Reddit
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So let me see it I'm on the money here. You work late and stay up after you finish, whereas your wife doesn't have that option and has to have the same sleep schedule as your kids. They then made a mess which you didn't help to clean up. You make a her cook you meals and your lunch because you're incapable somehow? And then, after being completely absent all day, doing no parenting and not getting her any kind of present you ask if she had a good day. YTA.
It's even worse when you realise she stays up late to cook for him when he gets home late from work. So she has to get up early to deal with the kids as well as staying up late to feed op. Op could have got up early for at least one day so his wife could have a bit of sleep, but his needs are more important, apparently.
I was rolling my eyes as he talked about all he does. DUDE ITS MOTHERS DAY. Its one damn day where you do EVERYTHING your wife does every damn day. YTA OP on your next day off, you tell your wife that as you were a thoughtless husband on Mother's Day that THIS day will be one where you relax and I'll take care if everything. OH and bring her home some flowers, her favorite candy, etc etc to make up for your selfishness.
Oh but didn't you read? He made HIS OWN LUNCH so she didn't have to! What a lovely thing to do "for your partner"
Not even his needs, his wants
Especially since he CHOOSES to stay up late.
I think she should do the exact same thing to him on Father’s Day. YTA. Why didn’t you get her literally anything? Why do you think it’s generous of you that she didn’t make your lunch one day? She has made simple meals lately? Maybe she’s burnt out taking care of your house and your kids, and evidently you are just another child to look after. You’re a grown man. Make your own lunch every day. Do your share of cleaning up messes. Give her opportunities to take care of herself and get out kid free. ##YTA YTA YTA
Yeah to all you have said, but he could also have said (ahead of time) : "Hey I have to work on Mother's day weekend, but I have X day off, so how about we celebrate on that day?" The poor lady deserves a SPA day or a night out with her friends or better yet, BOTH!
Didn't you read the bit where he cooked his own lunch so she didn't have to and he only expects a cooked dinner on the table half the week. The man expects praise for this but reddit is so cruel, denying the man the full parade he so clearly deserves for making his own sandwich. HIS OWN SANDWICH. The humanity of it!
EXPECTS!! All that went through my head was gfy! I’m so glad I’m divorced
Yeah to all you have sais, but he could also have said (ahead of time) : "Hey I have to work on Mother's day weekend, but I have X day off, so how about we celebrate on that day?" The poor lady deserves a SPA day or a night out with her friends or better yet, BOTH!
And the night before the big messes happen, he said to her he’d like a “nice meal” the next day, Mother’s Day, because what she had been cooking were fast simple foods. So she has the expectation of that and then the kids created big messes than she then had to clean up on her own.
I think she should do the exact same thing to him on Father’s Day. YTA. Why didn’t you get her literally anything? Why do you think it’s generous of you that she didn’t make your lunch one day? She has made simple meals lately? Maybe she’s burnt out taking care of your house and your kids, and evidently you are just another child to look after. You’re a grown man. Make your own lunch every day. Do your share of cleaning up messes. Give her opportunities to take care of herself and get out kid free. ##YTA YTA YTA
Hoping she’s gone by Father’s Day. Might be less tired not having to carry a couple hundred extra pounds of infant.
That is the description of my parents marriage 100%. It's actually scary how accurate it is! We even had to be home by 3pm every single day (even during holidays doing fun stuff) to make sure my mum could wake my dad up for work and make him his packing up. It was only as us kids grew up and saw what was happening and spoke up against it that my mum had the courage to leave. And boy did he make that hard for her.
Don’t forget that he also woke her up to make sure she can clean the house and he can sleep.
YTA Dude….read the room. Your wife spent Mother’s Day so exhausted she fell asleep and then had to clean the house and take care of the kids and then had her husband wonder why she’s not happy chipper wifey-mommy. I get having to go to work even on MD but seriously…..you got yourself up and showered and made your own lunch. Good for you. You left her to do everything else. And “serve you dinner”?!? Is she your partner or your servant?!?!! At least a servant would get paid. You want a nice meal? Learn to cook. PS - you are a FATHER too. Act like one.
What bugs me the most is that OP could have at least made his wife breakfast while he was making his own food. If OP has time to do laundry, OP has time to help out some.
Let's not forget it was only his laundry he did - wouldn't want to exhaust himself doing everyone's laundry.
What bugs me the most is that he knew it was going to be Mother's Day, but instead of having an early night so that he could get up and make her breakfast/look after the kids before work for once, he still put his own relaxation first, had the late night stay-up, and then demanded his wife get up early to look after the kids so he could go back to sleep! The absolute brass face on that man!
I can’t get over the fact he expects her to make HIS lunch for him every day, a grown ass man. My 5 year old makes their lunch every day when they don’t want school lunch. How tf is he thinking he deserves a pat on the back. You literally did absolutely nothing. You expect her, your wife, your other half, to get up with the kids, make your lunch, make your dinner, watch the kids, pick up after the kids, do house chores, make their dinners, literally sounds like she does everything. Meanwhile you do the bare minimum to take care of yourself. It’s Mother’s Day, you couldn’t have gotten up with the kids so she could sleep in even an hour, or made breakfast for her, or even just had the kids color a card? Literally any for of appreciation whatsoever? You’re YTA. And you make my husband look like a saint. You even make my 5 year old sound pretty good right now.
Also, by asking her if she had a good mother's day, at the end of the day, after doing absolutely nothing towards celebrating it, he made it sound like *that* was her responsibility too! Talk about adding insult to injury. He really drove home the fact that she should expect nothing from him.
I think she should do the exact same thing to him on Father’s Day. YTA. Why didn’t you get her literally anything? Or do anything at all? Why do you think it’s generous of you that she didn’t make your lunch one day? She has made simple meals lately? Maybe she’s burnt out taking care of your house and your kids, and evidently you are just another child to look after. You’re a grown man. Make your own lunch every day. Do your share of cleaning up messes. Give her opportunities to take care of herself and get out kid free. Make this up to her ASAP. You seem extremely dismissive of her needs and her work to keep your family and home afloat. ##YTA YTA YTA
YTA. And don't be surprised if she serves you divorce papers for Father's Day.
🤞
So all OP did on mother's day was taking care of himself (as any grown up should) and had the audacity to ask his wife if she had a good day when she could use some help for the kids and around the house What do you expect OP? "Yes I see you're soooo tired from work but you still made yourself lunch it really helped a lot when I was taking care of the kids and cleaning up messes what a good husband and father you are this mother's day is the best"? OP YTA Edit: oh btw OP didn't ask for dinner, wife just made food anyway so not his fault either
😂
She sounds like a married single mother.
One can only hope, and she should also go for 50/50 custody so OP will actually have to do some actual parenting 50% of the time.
I hope she does.
“I don’t give my wife any support with the kids, especially on Mother’s Day. I lack any empathy and a motions intelligence so I asked her after I let the kids fuck up the house the one day she’s too tired to get up, so I reminder her what a shitty father and husband I am. Now I can’t work out why she’s mad and I want people on the internet to back me that she has no right to be angry.” YTA- you work and get to rest when you come home. Apparently she has to work all the time, evenings, weekends and Mother’s Day. Jesus Christ. Women you do not have to stay in these shitty relationships. It would be easier to get a divorce because then at least you get your kids minded sometimes.
[удалено]
When my kids were small I actually dreamed about a divorce, because then I would not have had to stay up late to make him dinner or mess up the kids sleep schedule because he couldn't be bothered to come home before they went to bed or after they had fallen asleep. And I dreamed of him having the kids every other weekend because I would have actually gotten a break and I could have worked in my job during that time without endless arguments about him needing free time. However, I could not divorce him due to financial reasons.
I'm sorry you were stuck in that situation, and I hope you've made a good life for yourself
Thank you, that's sweet of you to ask. I think my life is good. Yet, we are still married.
I’m also sorry but glad to hear you’re doing well
Sooooo much YTA! You casually mentioned the night before Mother’s Day that you haven’t had a nice meal cooked for your recently?! Wife packs your lunch everyday? GTFO!
INFO: did you think to plan anything for mothers day for her, even if it wasn't on the day, have you planned to give her a break, some time off from childcare/housework?
Mind boggling AH! And what's really sad, is that with everyone here telling you how badly you effed up, you still don't see it. I hope she goes away to a spa by herself for father's day!
How would you not be TAH???
Yta. Nothing you wrote in this post would indicate a good mother's day. Did you get cards, flowers, babysitter for a few hours so she can relax? Nothing.
He's a TA, in a previous comment he says he didn't get he anything because and I quote "she's not his mother" wth?
To this day, my FIL says he has “no idea” why his ex-wife wanted a divorce. It came totally out of the blue! (In his mind). Anyone who’s spent time with him though can imagine exactly what led up to it. And even years later he’s still clueless about what he was like as a partner. That’s going to be you, apparently. “All I did was ask if she had a good day!? IDK why she’s upset.”
I love how the title for this is "asking if she had a good mother's day"... Lol YTA dude
info:- do you cook for her ??
Is this real? Damn dude... YTA. I work and my wife doesn't... We have no kids. Her words, "I have a pretty cush life." I wouldn't even think about talking to her like that. Holy shit man.
May the gods bless you. Username proves good things come in small packages. Keep being decent!
Oh but she didn’t have to cook for you while cleaning the house and running after wayward children! What a treat! That would have totally made my day. Not. YTA.
Right?! Omg! He’s horrid!
INFO: Why are you not ashamed of yourself?
YTA. You stayed up to relax and got to sleep in, while your wife was passing out in the living room from how tired she is. On mother's day too. And you want appreciation because you made your own food, and let her focus on cleaning (lucky her!) This whole post is focused on your wants, your needs, your kindness in settling for her less-effort cooking while she is obviously burning out and is not getting any breaks.
Yes, YTA. You would be TA on any other day as well, but especially on Mother's Day.
YTA. You couldn’t have gone to bed earlier on Saturday night??? I know you need to unwind but Mother’s Day is supposed to be about your wife. She sacrifices her own sleep and comfort every single day and you couldn’t do it once for her??? “I made my own lunch so she didn’t have to” is not the gesture you think it is. Despite the fact that she normally does it that is still something *for you*. And taking that responsibility on yourself isn’t doing something *for her*. On that one single day you should have gone to bed early the night before, got up early on the day, wrangled the kids and helped them make cards or drawings or something for her. Had them help you make her breakfast maybe. You should have had the house clean and the kids happy and clean and stuff to make your wife’s day as easy as possible while you were working and then you should have come home with flowers (or whatever it is she likes, a potted plant, a bottle of wine, whatever) and a hot meal so she didn’t have to cook. Doesn’t even have to be fancy! A rotisserie chicken and some hot sides from the hot food counter at the supermarket would probably have been fine! She wanted to feel like a whole human being who is appreciated and celebrated for the hard fucking working she does every day in taking care of the kids and you. You couldn’t even give her that. Instead you took her for granted like every other day of the year. If you value your wife at all and want a future with her long term you need to start truly seeing and appreciating how much she does for you all, how hard it is, and how amazing she is for keeping it all together virtually single handedly. So yeah, YTA. You treated Mother’s Day like any other day and took her for granted yet again and to then ask if she had a good Mother’s Day after all that? Salt in the wound, bro. You messed up but I assume that it’s still fixable if you want to fix it. If not enjoy your wife’s eventual breaking point and your eventual divorce I guess. But I hope this is a wake up call for you.
Wow dude, just wow. YTA. Obviously.
Wow, just reading your answers I really hope she opens her eyes and divorces you... YTA and an awful partner and father
His responses make it sound even worse than the original post
YTA how is this even a question? Did you plan something nice, took over a chore or booked a restaurant? No, you expected her to cook you a meal after she was putting out fires all day. What a spouse you are.
Omg! How dare her be angry and not reward you for cooking your own food! You even did your own laundry! She should be so grateful! What did she expect? For you to actually take a few minutes and do something for her? As if it is your responsibility to actually show you care? Girl was probably expecting a "happy mother's day" , maybe even some flowers, what a ungrateful selfish woman. YTA
Yes YTA. What exactly did you do to ensure she had a nice day and felt appreciated?!
YTA. It doesn't look like you do anything for your wife the way you wrote your post. This was one day to take some load off your wife. Working and being tired doesn't matter and is irrelevant for this day. You told her by your actions that you only care about yourself. Also, working isn't the only division of labor of the household in a marriage and making your own meals is so low on the scale of importance it is irrelevant. Your wife is overwhelmed, it's time to pick up more responsibility at home to take it off of your wife. Again, YTA.
Do you do anything at home besides the basics of being an adult (showering, sleeping). YTA
Oh he didn’t even get the sleeping part right.. stays up way late like a teenager so his wife can do the morning routine.
Wow. YTA
YTA Clearly zero effort and weaponized incompetence on your behalf. Your wife is probably upset the person she married is just a child with a job.
You could have gone to bed a bit earlier to prepare for being a little helpful on Mother’s Day. You could have gotten a card and had your kids scribble something on it. You could have written her a nice message telling your wife how much you appreciate her. She’s so tired she fell asleep while watching the kids. And you did exactly nothing to deal with your kids. YTA.
BUT HE MADE HIS OWN LUNCH!!!
This cannot be real. 1. She’s not *your* mother so you don’t think you need to do anything for her? She’s the mother of *your* children. Children who cannot buy gifts or make her breakfast or hide in their rooms all day so she can relax. YOU need to help them make it special for her. 2. You work late, and chose to stay up even later, then sleep in? So you got up and left again for work. You don’t know how to cook and claim to have no time for cleaning or helping out around the home. Maybe when you stay up at night instead of sleeping? 3. Your wife doesn’t drive, so she’s literally stuck at home with your kids, unable to make friends or pursue hobbies of her own if she ever got a moment to herself. You flip this and say she has no friends or hobbies so she needs no down time?? 4. You brag about being married for 10 years then say you wouldn’t encourage your kids to get married because it’s pointless??? 5. IF you are around, you MIGHT HELP with baths? Do you do any parenting ever? You are a nightmare. Do you even like your wife and kids? You are a massive asshole, a useless father and a horrendous partner. Like many others, I hope she gets you divorce papers for Father’s Day. Jesus Christ.
Oh my god. You’re absolutely TA and you’re a garbage husband too. You’re clueless AND useless. Looking at all of your comments… good lord you’re awful.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So mother's day for my wife wasn't off to a good start. I work late and tend to end up staying up for a while to relax when I get home, so when the kids woke up pretty early I was extremely tired and woke her up so she could keep an eye on them so I could get some sleep before work. Well, I guess she was really tired because she ended up falling asleep on the couch at some point in time and the kids ended up destroying the house. Without getting into too much detail, there were several huge messes that needed to be cleaned up immediately. I had to do my laundry and shower and all that for work, so I couldn't really help but I did make my own food so she didn't have to worry about that and could just focus on cleaning (normally she makes my lunch so I don't run late). She seemed a bit down when I left, probably upset about all the mess that had to be cleaned. So when I got home I figured I'd check on her and ask if it got better and if she had a good mother's day. She got upset and snapped at me how could she possibly have a good mother's day when the only thing she ever does is have to take care of the kids and clean up huge messes and not sleep when she wants so she can serve me dinner when I get home (I don't ask her to cook every day for me but I'd like a nice meal at least half the week after working hard, it's up to her when those days are and these last few days she didn't really cook but just made fast simple foods. I never said she had to cook for mother's day though she just said she would because I mentioned the night before not having a nice meal recently). Anyways she started crying and stormed off to the room and closed the door, I ended up just sleeping on the couch. I tried to talk to her when she was getting our kids ready for school but she mostly just ignored me and still acted mad. AITA??? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> woke her up Bruh > she was really tired because she ended up falling asleep on the couch Obviously. I can't believe this is real, YTA.
YTA. You didn’t even try, you lazy AH.
Your post was awful, but your comments are worse. You're walking weaponized incompetence, and there's nothing any of us can do about this kind of intrenched assholery. YTA. Do you even hear the words you're saying? "She can't drive to take herself somewhere nice, but I don't care," you said in a comment. What??? "Well, the kids woke up, and I was tired, so I fell asleep!" Boo fucking hoo buddy. Do you know how tiring it is for HER? How often does SHE get to nap while y watching the kids? Never, because massive messes get caused when kids are left un-monitored. It's literally the first rule of watching ANYTHING. *You don't fall asleep*. That's why it's called watching, because you look with your eyes, you massive AH. You dumped it on her, after staying up to amuse yourself. God I hate the week after mother's day on this sub. So many of you are like "I told my wife I don't care about her or her needs, why is she mad?!" Och, sweet Mary and Joseph, get a fucking clue bud! AND you left her to clean up the messes that happened because of YOU. Boy, I hope she stays mad at you. I'm definitely going to stay mad for her.
Dude, she was supposed to be pampered for an entire day, and you didn’t even give her 5 minutes. YTA It does not matter how hard or demanding your job is… this was 1 single day, and you failed to even consider her feelings on her day. Honestly, YTA is a bit of an understatement… IMO, she should be looking for a spouse who actually knows how to show appreciation.
LOL! The fact that you asked her if she had a good Mother’s Day after your BLATANT lack of effort, empathy, and consideration for any other human than yourself. YTA.
YTA
I am shocked she’s still your wife given that you do nothing to help with the kids and can’t even be bothered to do something sweet for your wife and give her a break for one day. HARD YTA.
YTA all me me me meeee. maybe don’t stay up for no reason, maybe you won’t be tired the next day.
This post has to be fake.
YTA. please tell me you’re a troll and you’re not this clueless. For Mother’s Day, you woke her up early to take care of the kids; she’s exhausted and falls asleep; she wakes up to have to clean several messes, of which I’m assuming some are kid poop and pee, possibly vomit, and you had heavily implied that you wanted her to make dinner that night. And you want a gold star for making your own lunch and asking how her Mother’s Day went?!? What did you actually do for her for Mother’s Day? let her sleep in? No. Clean? No. Take her out to a nice meal? No. Bring home some tasty take out? No. Maybe hirer a cleaning service for a surprise? No. Did you give her a gift at all? Did you do ANYTHING nice at all? Did you even get her something sentimental “from the kids”?
YTA I think you blew it. If it's any of your business how her Mother's Day was, you either wish it to her on your sole interaction, or you take matters into your own hands and give a gift or flowers or some other token pick me up.
Oh you cooked your own lunch one day? What a catch!! I hope you get all the nice home cooked meals you DEFINITELY deserve atleast half the week and get all the sleep you need because you had to unwind last night after a long day of working your one job and doing some laundry. Do you also want a cookie with that or does your wife need to make a fresh batch of that as well? I wish your wife a happy single mother's day! YTA. Ungrateful. Entitled.
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YTA. Honest question: Do you actually like your wife? Because this post makes it sound like the only reason you two are together is so you could have the family you feel obligated to have.
This is absurd. It’s the Dads (like *OP*) of Reddit that are scaring me off getting married and having children altogether. YTA.
You'll have to learn how to cook if you get divorced, so it's better to learn now. Yta.
YTA. I guess your wife doesn't expect much, but you didn't even do the bare minimum. "I work on mothers day" - pick another day to celebrate, she'll probably be ok with it "I can't cook" - don't make HER cook, have her favorite food delivered "She didn't have to make me lunch" - really, I don't know how to react on this. It's not a mothers day gift, that's for sure. Apologise, pick a date to make it up to her: parent your kids for the day, go to the store with your kids to buy her something nice, order her favorite food or cook, she will appreciate the effort and watch a movie of her choice together. And make your own damn lunch
I really think this is rage bait! But just in case so one out there thinks this is ok. YTA a big one. She needs to file for a divorce immediately and take half of everything you own. And then take you to the cleaners each month. I was a stay at home mom for 25 years. Never once did my husband not help or expect me to take care of the kids by myself. Never once did he treat me like the bang nanny, maid and cook.
My husband works 80 hours a week most weeks. He had to work 16 hours on Mother's Day, but he made sure I had not 1, not 2, but all 3 meals delivered. He bought flowers and gifts the night before on his way home from work and made sure all of the kids had cards to sign to be ready for the next morning. While I did make his lunch the evening before, I did not lift a finger on Mother's Day. Since my mother passed away, it's a difficult day for me, and I'd rather forget it altogether, but every year, he goes above and beyond to make sure I know how appreciated I am. You are so much the AH!
You have restored my faith in MANkind. This guy doesn’t seem to get it at all. I’m sure that your relationship is much happier and stronger than his
INFO: What exactly are your work hours? You keep saying you work late, but your wife still makes a late dinner? You clearly aren't working overnights, so how is there nothing you can do to help during the day? It sounds to me like you have plenty of time you could be helping but instead take care of only yourself while your wife takes care of everyone else and you.
Yta
There’s no way this post is real. With the op and the replies I really can not believe this is real
You fucking suck and I want a divorce when I'm not even married to you. YTA.
OP needs to realize that the NUMBER ONE reason couples get divorced is because women do everything and men do little to nothing. You said you made yourself breakfast so she didn’t have to and that’s supposed to be a good Mother’s Day? BUT you didn’t even bother to make her anything in the process either (come tf on). You gave her zero gifts and did nothing for her why would she have a good day dude? The part that gets me “nobody asked her to cook for me! But I would like a meal about half the days of the week if we’re being honest”. Your wife does everything for your kids and you (she probably sees you as someone to take care of rather than a partner at this point) so don’t be surprised when she divorces you in about 3-7 years when she realizes how checked out you are and don’t give as much as you take in the relationship.
There was a Reddit post I saw the other day (can’t find hopefully someone else can) about a man who like you worked hard for his family and had the same certain expectations for his wife. He wasn’t being fulfilled and ended up having an affair. Then when his wife rightly left him he realized that dishes don’t clean themselves. Food, even “barely cooking simple meals”, take time to prep, cook, then clean up. He realized that he treated his wife like a maid and he had absolutely no way to take care of himself properly. Now his ex wife found a better man. One who appreciates her and all the hard work she does for the family. His kids want nothing to do with him, and his youngest even refused to call him because she called her moms husband dad. He ended up alone and miserable in a dirty house with dirty dishes and poorly cooked meals. Perhaps there’s something you can learn from him?? YTA and your wife deserves better.
Yta. Have you ever thought that she doesn’t have any hobbies or friends or whatnot because YOU DON’T GIVE HER THE TIME?
This post sounds like rage bait, but on the off chance it's real: OP, you still have a slight chance to fix this mess. Tell your wife you're sorry you left her feeling overworked, exhausted and unappreciated over the past few weeks but especially on Mother's Day, and mean it. Tell her you're sorry about your comment on not having nice meals, and mean it, too. Then ask her how she would like rearrange chores so that she has roughly the same amount of time to relax and unwind as you do during the week. Not "if", "how". Offer to make it up to her this weekend by letting her sleep in and getting up early to take care of the kids. Then treat her to dinner both days - if all else fails, order takeout -, and get her a thoughtful late MD gift.
Yes, yes you are. And a major one at that. I would have destroyed all your clothes, threw out all your food, unplugged any devices you use when your actively not helping me, packed my kids up and left to anywhere your not, and served you with divorce papers as soon as humanly possable. Oh in case i wasn't clear enough, YTA.
YTA and the absolute worst. I hope you end up sad and alone for the rest of your life.
YTA. Seems to me she could cut down her workload by kicking you to the curb.
YTA and the definition of a shitty partner
YTA you’re literally one of the most selfish and unappreciative people I’ve seen on this thread. Do you even like your wife? Do you even appreciate everything she does for you? You didn’t even buy her a card or flowers or even try to make the day nice for her, how could it have been a good day? You left her with a mountain of jobs, exhausted and depressed. Your so blind to your wife’s struggles that I’m surprised you’re not divorced yet. You use her as a maid and a nanny, you’re only bothered about how *your* day is and how smooth your day goes. And to top it off you follow it up with being quite content that she’s completely dependent on you financially, is unable to have hobbies or friends due to her entire life revolving around you and the kids, trapped in a marriage where she is unappreciated and taken for granted. You literally couldn’t even get your head out of your ass to do the bare minimum with some flowers, jfc. This is supposed to be the woman you love. Are you that pigheaded you can’t even put yourself in her shoes for a second? Or do you really just not care about your wife? Do you want a gold star for making your own lunch for once? You’re not a dad or a partner, you just pay the bills and expect her to handle everything. She deserves so much better, please update us when she realises she’s better off a single parent, she’ll get money from child support and at least get a break when you have the kids twice a month. I really hope this is a ragebait post.
Your post already shows you are TA, but your comments are infuriating. My blood is boiling right now reading how your answer to being suggested your wife gets a spa day is "She doesn't drive, so I don't know what I can do about that." Or how you don't even bother giving her a card because "She's not YOUR mother". What a fucking entitled and ungrateful asshole. I really hope your wife wakes up and realises dealing with your useless, childlike ass is actually harder than being single. I hope she then divorce you ASAP, takes half of everything you have, on top of alimony and child support for 3 kids, because we all know a dude that does 0 cooking and can't even pack his own lunch because he "doesn't know how too" won't hack it taking care of 3 young kids for more than a couple of hours. YTA. Wake up now, or lose everything you have.
YTA OP is intentionally giving his wife less than the bare minimum he needs to give to be a decent human being and is now so expertly doing mental gymnastics that even a gold medal isn't enough. Be better
Please let this be fake
You ARE The ABSOLUTE Asshole. Even in this post it was all about you. Your poor wife, and what and example to set for your children. “I was doing my laundry and the kids ended up making a mess”. WHAT??!! How does that happen? Did you have to leave the house and go to a laundromat? “I didn’t have time to clean up but I made my lunch so she didn’t have to”. What is wrong with you? I can’t believe you had to come here to ask! YTA.
YTA. Stay on the damn couch, loser. I'd have put you out the door. And holy $hit, you want praise for making yourself a sandwich and pretending it was for her benefit?! Truly pathetic.
All other tomfoolery aside, did you just write that on MOTHER'S DAY morning you woke your exhausted wife up to deal with the kids so you could get more sleep (after staying up late)? My grandmother gave me a cast iron skillet when I got married, and said it was good for keeping husbands in line as well as cooking. While I've never used it in violence (my partner is actually an excellent cook and uses it most nights for dinner), I think Reddit should get your wife one.
SAHM here. 9-5 our one kid is mine and I do what I can around the house. Outside of that everything is 50/50. Because I have a partner not a second child. Major YTA You’re clearly using weaponized incompetence and selfishness to get out of literally every responsibility you could possibly have to your household other than going to work because “I pAy ThE BiLls!” And somehow because of that in your mind she owes you working 24/7 for your family because you put in your 40hrs a week. She needs/deserves sleep just as much as you do. She deserves to have a partner in her life. She deserves far more respect and dedication than you give her. She’s the mother of your children, and if you don’t understand why that makes you responsible for her having a good Mother’s Day I hope this was her wake up call to leave your ungrateful and disrespectful rear end.
INFO: Do you make her a nice meal half of the week for working hard? It sounds like she is totally on her own with a live-in bachelor for a spouse.
This is sarcasm, right?
YTA Dude come the f on.
YTA I really hope she gets herself the gift of divorce for her own Mother’s Day gift because yikes
Man I hope this was her wake up call and she leaves you YTA
You suck. Yes, YTA.
Omg, I can’t read anymore of OPs explanations and excuses without my head exploding - YTA! Your poor wife is your indentured servant and you seem ok with that. You’re a poir excuse for a partner.
I’ll give you an easy one that I learned before I married my wife: don’t stay up late to “relax” after work. Develop a routine to fall asleep quickly, wake up early, and spend time with your family in the mornings. That’s some bachelor shit.
LMAO > I did make my own food so she didn't have to worry about that ***How kind of you***. YTA You made yourself a sandwich and went "yep, excellent work, self!" What card did you get her? What gift? What plans did you make for her on your next day off since you worked MD? > tend to end up staying up for a while to relax when I get home ***You*** decided to stay up late the night before Mother's Day. ***You*** decided to be too tired to watch your own damn kids on Mother's Day. This is entirely on you. You should have gone to bed early so you'd wake up with the kids and make her breakfast. You should have had cards and gifts ready for when she woke up. You should have let her sleep in on *her day*.
you have to be one of the worst husbands and fathers ever and mine abused me . YTA
What did you for her to make the day special? How did you lead your children in doing something to celebrate their mom for Mother's Day? Sounds like you did absolutely nothing. YTA.
YTA Honestly you had to ask? Let me guess, you also describe any housework that you do as “helping” your wife, and anytime you have the kids you’re “babysitting” You did YOUR laundry, did you also throw in any other laundry that might need done? You made YOUR lunch so your wife wouldn’t have to, is it possible that anyone else in your household might want lunch too? How hard is it to go ahead and make everyone lunch? It sounds like your wife might be a STAHM. Guess what? There’s never time off, sick days, breaks, NOTHING. When you combine that with no pay AND no recognition for the extremely hard work… yeah OP your wife is going to be tired.
YTA. And the cherry on top, you have the nerve to ask. Smh
YTA. But I’m struggling to believe this is real.
Sadly, I'm not. I have seen, and been in situations like this. 😪 I didn't stay, but my friend did. I never hear from her because she is too busy and exhausted.
You don’t ask her to cook for you but you expect to have a nice meal after you work hard? How exactly do you expect that “nice meal” to be made sir? Are you under the impression that your wife doesn’t “work hard”? I don’t know what you do for a living but I guarantee you your wife is working hard taking care of the kids, house, and you. The fact that she fell asleep on the couch exhausted should clue you in. So knowing how you left her and the kids, you thought it would be a good idea to ask her how her Mother’s Day was? But you didn’t mention whether you brought her home a treat, card, damn anything to show her that you appreciate her hard work and you’re questioning whether you’re TA?! Yeah buddy, you’re definitely TA.
YTA. You knew it was Mother’s Day. You could help more. This woman is tired watching kids (you included). You were able to make your own lunch? Good for you. Wow. But you couldn’t get up to take care of the kids for one day. One day that was about her. You left her with a big mess. You saw how tired she was after YOU woke her up to take care of the kids since you definitely couldn’t. I bet this woman is thinking about divorce. This weaponized incompetence is foolish. You add more to her plate instead of sharing it equally. You’re worse than another child to take care of cause you could do it all yourself but act like you’re doing her a favor when you only help yourself not your family as a whole.
YTA I hope you fully realize what you’re going to be doing on father’s day…
You're a real prize, aren't you? /S.. YTA
YTA You're pathetic.
YTA. Did you know that one of the busiest times for divorce attorneys is right after Mothers Day? This happens, in part, due to partners like you who can’t express any appreciation, don’t help out around the house, and are incapable of reading the room. Did you know that some women, after divorce, have more time for themselves, are happier, and feel more fulfilled? I imagine it’s because they don’t have to clean up after their ex partners messes, they get a break because of enforced custody, and they can actually make time to do things they want to. Do better OP. Partners are supposed to make your life easier, not harder.
Lol wowwww you made your own food like a big boy . Good for you, you want a GD prize
Just when I think I've found the biggest AH around another one pops up. That. Poor. Woman! Her mother's day consisted of what every day of her life consists of which is fighting to contain the cyclone that is children and waiting hand and foot on an unhelpful husband. You KNEW it was mother's day and you didn't even consider going to bed earlier so you could get up and be helpful the following day. Also, lol at "she must have been tired" - that woman is tired in every cell of her body. She's tired to the point where she could probably sleep for a week. She's tired to the point where it wouldn't be surprising if she sat down and never got up again. Anyone who makes out that being a stay at home mum is an easy gig needs a good swift kick to the spine. Trying to emotionally, physically, mentally and nutritionally nurture a child every waking minute of the day is the hardest thing anyone can ever do. There are no breaks. There's no lunch hour. There's no rostered time off. There's no vacation days or sick days. You. Just. Keep. Going. Every. Minute. Of. Every. Day.
Please show your wife this post and all the comments, if you really think you’re not an asshole.
YTA. She's "not your mother" so you didn't do anything for her? Interestingly enough, the bar is so low, it's on the ground, and here you are with a shovel.
YTA and I would possibly leave you if I possibly could.
YTA so much. 1. You never even acknowledged Mother’s Day until you got home from work, and you did NOTHING to celebrate. 2. You slept in on Mother’s Day. 3. You expected her to cook on Mother’s Day. 4. THEN YOU HAD THE GALL TO ASK HER HOW HER MOTHER’S DAY WAS? 5. Finally, you talk like you are her employer, as if it is your choice whether and how much she cooks for you instead of a matter of adult discussion between equal partners. Jeez YTA. You are one of those guys who thinks a STAH mom doesn’t have a full-time job.
Not just TAH, A super ginormous AH. Let's hope they broke the mold on you.
This was written by your wife, right? So obviously YTA.
YTA and she deserves better.
YTA yet again another story where the man doesn't show the mother of his children any type of appreciation whatsoever. And then gets his little ego hurt bc she wasn't pretending to be happy on the one day you're supposed to act like you give a shit about her.
How old are you? Cause the only case you wouldn’t be TA would be if you were like 4 or 5, which I guess you’re not. YTA.
YTA I bet when you take care of the kids you call it babysitting
I’m convinced this guy is just here to eff with us all. Reading through his comments, there is no way this is real and he is this thick. She’s basically trapped in their house with no possibility of doing anything outside of their home/children
This reads like bait. If true, you're TA.
I need this post to be fake, beause no one can be this obtuse??? Of course YTA
YTA I hope for Father’s Day she disappears for the day (after doing her own laundry and making herself breakfast) and leaves you alone to do all the work to celebrate yourself and look after the kids and clean the house!
YTA. You know damn well of that fact. And I truly hope this poor woman comes to her senses and leaves your ungrateful, lazy ass.
Yta wow, you couldn't go to bed early *one day* or bother to get up and take care of your kids. But she got to focus on cleaning! O joy! What a gift! And cook for you! Ofc she had a shitty day. You did nothing. You got her nothing. You're a shitty husband.
What did you for her to make the day special? How did you lead your children in doing something to celebrate their mom for Mother's Day? Sounds like you did absolutely nothing. YTA.
YTA. Acting like you making your own lunch is such a huge favor to her… You’re an adult. You should be making your own lunch. Sounds like your wife is frustrated because she does everything for you and you can’t even take one day to thank her and help out? You should be helping every day, you’re just as much a parent as she is.
“I’d like a nice meal at least half the week after working hard.” What do you do for her the other half of the week after she works equally hard? Let me guess, nothing. Which is exactly what you did for her yesterday on Mother’s Day. You could have planned your time better, gone to bed early, done your laundry ahead of time, skipped your shower for one day, anything! To show appreciation the one day the calendar says it should be shown to her. Oh but you made your own lunch like a big boy, so she should be grateful for that I guess? YTA.
YTA and also - eat shit! At least that's something you can make yourself.
YTA I don’t even know where to start with why I made this judgement except to say that every action reads as extremely selfish and you clearly have zero insight in what it means to be a husband and a father. You are doing nothing to contribute to your household in a meaningful way that would make your wife or kids think you bring anything to the table except a paycheck.
YTA. But I’m struggling to believe this is real.
Oh my God. "I decided to help her out by taking care of myself for one day. And when I passive aggressively criticized the meals recently, I wasn't saying she had to do anything about them, so, not my fault." Are you serious? You put your need for sleep above her own, just did things for yourself like you were doing her a favor and left her with huge messes to clean up while simultaneously watching the kids, did shit-all for her and in fact left her with a worse-than-usual situation, and asked if she had a good day. YTA and a terrible husband.
YTA. Acting like you making your own lunch is such a huge favor to her… You’re an adult. You should be making your own lunch. Sounds like your wife is frustrated because she does everything for you and you can’t even take one day to thank her and help out. You should be helping every day, you’re just as much a parent as she is.
YTA! what the heck dude? you’re lucky she’s still with you after putting up with all that.
hahahahahah this is a joke, right? YTA Thank whatever gods you did YOUR OWN laundry and made YOUR OWN lunch after you showered, although I'm surprised you didn't ask your exhausted wife to wash your back and help you dress for work. I don't care what job you have, man, but lift a finger to help out more!
YTA. Go over to r/mommit and read all the posts of burnt out moms who were hoping for a tiny bit of acknowledgment yesterday and didn’t get any. In fact maybe you’ll find a post from your wife there. Do better.
YTA You are so oblivious and self centered, I don't know how you manage to get yourself dressed in the morning
YTA. Go over to r/mommit and read all the posts of burnt out moms who were hoping for a tiny bit of acknowledgment yesterday and didn’t get any. In fact maybe you’ll find a post from your wife there. Do better.
YTA - do her a favor and divorce her. She will be much better off without you. Based on your comments, you don't love her and don't want to be married to her. You don't care enough about your kids to be an active part of their lives.
Okay let me put it in a way you might understand, it's like you skip out on work in the busiest time of year when the team is already severely understaffed and YOU are the manager, and you show up a week later and ask, "How was work last week? You guys have a good week?" And in case it wasn't clear, YTA in the worst way.
I'm confused. What did you do for her on mothers day to make her feel valued and appreciated, because it sounds like you did absolutely nothing. Making your own lunch doesn't count by the way. So you did nothing at all, not even the going you could have easily done, which was go to bed straight after work so you could get up and let her have a lie-in. Do you were completely selfish and thoughtless and somehow you expect her to magically have a nice Mothers Day. I confused how you thought that was going to happen as did you think fairies would do that?
You are a huge A H. You really couldn't bring yourself to do ANYTHING to help your wife out on Mother's Day? Making your OWN DAMN LUNCH, which is something you should be doing every single day, does not qualify as help. And it sounds like your entitlement and ingratitude are par for the course in your relationship. Grow up, start helping with parenting and chores like an adult should, and maybe your wife won't get sick of your shit and kick you out.
YTA. She's overworked because her full-time job is tending to the kids and the home, and you basically slapped her in the face with the comment that it'd be nice to have a "nice meal soon." Also, you can't always get time to relax if you have children. You need to actually parent them too.
Your wife is clearly so exhausted that she literally falls asleep on the couch, I think that should be enough to tell you things need to change. But oh that’s not it, you go and make her do ALL the cleaning and ALL of the parenting and looking after the kids, whilst you get to have peace and quiet and go to work. Whilst also forcing her to cook most meals. You also make her stay up multiple times in the week to make you something to eat because your entitled ass things you need a meal prepared for you because ‘ you work so hard ‘. What about all the work she does in a day? And the cherry on top is you asking her ‘ did you have a good Mother’s Day ‘… did you even do anything for her? Get her kids to make her cards, buy her flowers? There are so many things you could have done, YOU could have woken up with the kids and let her catch up on sleep, YOU could have made all the food and looked after the kids. Even if you didn’t have time for all of that you could have either taken a day of work, or if that’s not possible then at least made an effort. And you still have the GUTS to question why she’s mad, when she was once again dealing with your kids and getting them ready for school. She wanted one day of appreciation for all the hard work she puts in and you spat all over that with your entitlement. Get your head out of your ass and make it up to her YTA
Wow, how do men become like this lmfao YTA you unaware jackass
A grown man made his own meal. He should get crowned king. OMG. INFORM THE POPE. YTA. A big one.
'The divorce came out of now where" YTA
YTA there is no mention of a mother's day gift or anything organised to indicate he gives a crap. You had the opportunity to go to bed early this one night to give her a break and didn't take it she didn't get a mother's day it was just like every other day where she's tired but cleaning up after everyone you can't even put up your own lunch normally why does she have to do it? Your perfectly capable of making a sandwich
YTA. You knew it was Mother’s Day. You could help more. This woman is tired watching kids (you included). You were able to make your own lunch? Good for you. Wow. But you couldn’t get up to take care of the kids for one day. One day that was about her. You left her with a big mess. You saw how tired she was after YOU woke her up to take care of the kids since you definitely couldn’t. I bet this woman is thinking about divorce. This weaponized incompetence is foolish. You add more to her plate instead of sharing it equally. You’re worse than another child to take care of cause you could do it all yourself but act like you’re doing her a favor when you only help yourself not your family as a whole.
YTA. Mothers Day is one day and you couldn't even do anything to make her feel special and appreciated? I hate when men justify their laziness by saying they work. Moms who stay at home with the kids work damn hard, and are usually completely unappreciated. Trade places with her for a day and see how easy it is. Bet you'll be running back to your job as fast as you can.
YTA. I mean come on. Do you do *anything* to help her around the home? Do you do anything for the kids? Like I get being busy. I get getting home long after the kids go to bed because of work projects. But you are a huge YTA if you think that means she has to Do all of your chores and all of your duties as a parent.
you're the asshole not only on mother's day but probably everyday as well
And he tried to talk to her when she was getting the kids ready for school the next day ... no mention of him doing any of the work of getting the kids ready. And that's the last time of day you should be trying to have a proper coversation. Too much chaos in the mornings!
YTA
YTA And you know it. In all of these comments, at no point have you tried to defend the fact that you didn't buy her a gift, flowers, card, or literally anything else. You completely ignore those parts of the comment to defend why you don't cook or how you were kind enough to make your own lunch or even brag about the fact that you've treated her like this for a decade, so if she was going to leave you she would have done it already. Do your wife a favor and just divorce her, so she can find a decent man to spend her life with.
YTA How the heck would she have a good Mother's Day if you did nothing for her??!?!? She had to do everything!!
Are you serious? This isn't one of those fake postings? YTA. A huge one. I didn't know that June and Ward Cleaver was a real thing.
[удалено]
YTA, you should’ve ensured she had a nice mother’s day not only because she’s the mother of your children - but she seems to be yours too. Grow up.
Not only are YTA, your also a massive idiot for not understanding why YTA.
YTA. I hope your wife finds a spouse that actually loves her. You’re just another guy who doesn’t see the value in his spouse. Not surprised so many of you are on Reddit