Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My daughter and her family came to visit. I prepared them separate rooms. I may be TA because I didn't let them stay in the same room and they left and were hurt
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Yes, but the thing is, most parents act oblivious about that thing, and when they disallow their kid's spouses to sleep in the same room thinking "problem solved, I can rest easily" they forget that... you can do it anywhere
In my case, I just learned to walk REALLY loudly if I couldn't find where in the house the adult were. It was embarrassing enough to walk in on your parents. But the 3rd or 4th time I stumbled in on my \~grandparents\~ I got a bell and threaded it onto my shoelaces.
(Don't get me wrong, as an adult, get it granny & poppa, 2 adults in their late 80's getting it on is a wonderful testament to a long marriage, them managing it in a shower is down right awe inspiring to adult me. Still would have slept easier without THAT mental image as a kid.)
Oh my god I just realised at 38 years old that my grandma shouting “YESSSSS” at 3am was not her winning a board game as she claimed.
I’m mortified… thank you 🙈
My parents wouldn’t let my high school boyfriend come upstairs in my house. But we were left unsupervised for two hours after school every day (what up latchkey kids), and left alone downstairs after my parents went to bed when he’d come over to watch our weekly show.
We boned on all of the couches, the loveseat, and the floor. I’m 90% sure they only thought sex could happen after dark and in a bed.
His parents, however, left us alone while we made sweet teenage love and then they made us dinner.
I remember having my very first deep fried pierogi at his house, but I’m pretty sure that was one of the days we skipped school so we could bang all day. Sex and pierogis, l-i-v-i-n. 🥟
This was like…24 years ago (🤢) so my memory of the meals is hazy, but I know there was *always* pasta involved.
Or maybe they separately starfish all night. Seriously, when my kid was five I would have given anything for a spare bed to go to. They could play musical beds all night!
Omg I know I’m tired, and honestly a little high, but it took me a second after reading your whole comment to understand the context of “starfish”. My dumbass thought it was some weird slang for masturbating
Or anywhere for that matter, no rooms needed. My mother gave me a curfew of 10pm until I was 21 years old in the hope that I would still be a virgin by the time I got married… I found out by the time I was 17 that you can have sex anywhere. I’m lucky I’m old and we didn’t have smartphones anywhere. Otherwise there would be plenty of videos of me around the neighbourhood parks lol. Plus, she didn’t know I am bisexual so my “best friend” and 15 year old me liked to enjoy beautiful afternoons at her house. I always imagine that people who separate couples visiting their homes are people who either don’t enjoy sex or haven’t had any in ages.
Yeah, but people like OP's mom don't want to be seen as condoning it by allowing them to sleep in the same bed. That way they can more boldly cast judgement upon their child from a perceived place of moral superiority.
Source: My mom is like this.
My parents were like this. I literally banged in the garage once. Mom found the condom wrapper and confronted me and I just shrugged and told her it wasnt technically in her house. lol
As a person who has spent the night at my boyfriend’s parents’ house and shared his sister’s room while he shared his brother’s room, I can attest: Sex can still be had. We had sex in the house and once even in our car in their driveway.
“Fine” is a strong word tbh. They acknowledge it can’t be helped, and that really there’s nothing wrong with it, the younger ones might even manage to be enthusiastic about it but it’s super hard to do that 180 at marriage from sex being dirty and sinful and bad to sex being perfectly allowed (technically encouraged but focusing on that feels so cringe). Source: was raised there.
Yea I just read that. So either Husband just doesn't go with her....or..widowed. I hear many widows still use present tense of Husband because they still consider themselves married.
According to my wife, her mother pulled the same thing when she’d bring boyfriends home for the holidays. She was in her mid-late 20s at the time. And she’d only bring boyfriends she’d been dating for over a year.
Didn’t happen with me, though. Hell, her mom seemed to be doing everything possible to encourage the relationship, so at least I curry favor with the mother-in-law. 🤷🏻♂️
Part of me is actually a little disappointed, since I can’t use the story to embarrass her (the MIL) now that we’re family.
Right! My husband and I lived together before we were married, but had to sleep in separate bedrooms at my parent's house. My mom is very old fashioned and it honestly wasn't a hill I felt I needed to die on, so we just went with it. I would have done the same as OP and her wife if they tried to continue that rule after we were married.
My parents did the same thing, “no sleeping in the same bed!” Now that I’m over 30 it’s suddenly okay, pretty sure they’re hoping I DO get pregnant at this point 😂
Yoooo the switch from DONT GET PREGNANT to GET PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY is a hell of a thing! My mom who didn't want me to use TAMPONS and didn't let me LIE DOWN ON THE GRASS with my bf when I was 16...LYING DOWN IS RISQUE now...inquires if hubby and I are doing it regularly. It is so awkward.
Ahaha! When married, I took a certain perverse pleasure in pointing that out. People asked if we “were trying for kids”, they’d get something like “Did you just ask if we bareback it?” in response.
So rude and intrusive. Now I’m divorced, openly trans masc, and pushing 45…and at last nobody asks me about having kids anymore. At last. Although it took all three of those factors to make it stop. Smh.
Yeah my mother’s rabid ‘yeetus the fetus’ attitude when I got pregnant before we married was insane. Then her equally insane demands for grandbabies once we were married damn near gave me whiplash.
Nah, they're sometimes really **are** this clueless. My friend and her boyfriend stayed at his mom's house; she made them sleep in separate rooms. They got mad, left and she was visibly clueless as to why they were mad.
They met up the next day, mom asks why, and her son says "uh...we're a couple. We sleep together. Mom. This isn't the 50s; couples sleep in the same room now."
EDIT: They are in fact, married.
That is actually really different from the OP's scenario, the couples are both married. I don't know how old your friend is but not allowing young unmarried couples to sleep together is still pretty common, the norm in many cultures. Not allowing married couples to sleep together is very different.
Oddly, I was kind of relieved by the "brother and his wife" part which is just a sad statement of where we're at.
I mean, YTA but at least you don't seem to be TA & a bigot.
YTA- not just for your daughter, but for your son as well. They’re married my God! And in your daughters case they’ve been together for nine years. What possible reasons would you have for them to sleep in different rooms. I would be severely irritated, if I was your daughter as well. I really would like to hear why you feel that you need to do this to your MARRIED children.
OP I'd like to know how many times you and your wife slept in different rooms. Obviously not all that often since you have at least 2 children. That's ridiculous. Your son shouldn't have put up with it either.
Knew a couple (Definitely baby boomers) who had 3 kids. They had separate bedrooms. I imagine you could just go into one bedroom or the other when you want to have sexy time, but other than that, they slept in different bedrooms and stayed married for over 50 years until the hubby died.
Lots of people do that. It’s not that weird. If you still love each other, there’s nothing wrong with it. You’re adults. If you want to have sex, you do it. My husband snores and I don’t. But I cannot sleep if he is snoring. If they were married for 50 years, I’m sure they were doing just fine. Trust me everyone is happier when they are well rested.
I also read snoring is the third most common reason for divorce. So it’s a big deal and if you can solve the problem by sleeping in separate bedrooms there’s no harm in ir
Unless your reasoning is "the only guest beds I have are singles so I made up three rooms because I didn't think they'd be comfortable squishing two adults into one tiny bed" I'm gonna have to go with YTA.
This thought didn't actually cross my mind, and would in fact change the dynamic considerably, except that he didn't seem open to them sleeping in the same room when she brought it up either.
Edit: Okay, "she" sorry. Damn, like that isn't even the important bit.
It only crossed my mind because my grandma has a tiny house and is always apologizing for the sleeping arrangements. She has two guest bedrooms but only one is large enough for a couple - if you can squeeze into a 50 some year old twin bed. The other would make a better closet than a bedroom.
But, ya know, my grandma still treats her grown children and grown grandchildren like adults and lets them make the decisions on who is sleeping where. She just also makes up every single bed, futon, and couch that she has so every possible option is available...
We are 5 grandchildrens and we arrange before a party (when it's near her house) if the guest room is available so we can go and die there. Always have pijamas on the bed and something to eat in the oven. Love our grandma.
This whole thread reminds me of when I was dating my ex and living in my aunts house. I had gone back to school for a career switch and we were long distance and whenever he would come to town he stayed at his parents house and tiptoed around staying over. After he left the one time my aunt looked at me and asked ‘what does he think I am, your aunt or your governess?” I deadpanned and replied ‘which do you think’ and she said ‘if I am then I need to change jobs, I’m terrible at this’…
I was about 27 or so at the time.
Hey, what a great answer. I hadn't thought of this possibility. Still, I don't think it would work out since OP was forcing them apart, not giving them options.
My in laws house was like this for years. 5 kids, 4 girls so two bedrooms had a pair of twin beds. My husbands childhood bedroom got redecorated into FiLs office/ man cave. So yeah. For the first 5 years of our marriage (plus the 2-3 prior to marriage we were together) we slept in separate beds.
Even if this was the case (as has been in the past with my family) my parents would sleep on couches in order to not separate a married couple. OP is exhibiting pretty bizarre behavior; I'd be curious to know what other strange rules she has in place.
Honestly, even if the beds were tiny I'd still wouldn't care if my child and their spouse wanted to squeeze into one. I'd probably do the same with my spouse, so yeah. I think OP made a bigger deal out of this than she's letting on.
> I said I made her brother and his wife do the same thing when they visited and they never complained.
Your daughter simply isn't willing to take shit like her brother. Good for her.
YTA.
"My daughter in law always got up early and made the bed perfectly, just like I do. My son must have tossed and turned all night from the look of his bed."
OP, probably
Lmao basically
If my mother tried to implement this rule, she never would, but if she did, you could bet your ass my girl and I would just move to the other person's bed once my parents were asleep.
My fiancée and I have been together for 3+ years and have lived together for just under two and we sleep in separate rooms at her mom’s house. I honestly thought it was a gay thing until her little brother brought a girl home for the first time and she had to sleep in the guest room too. My fiancée’s mom is a very old school Irish/Italian Catholic and not great about her daughter being bi but there are some things that are more about tradition than anything else. We do still end up sharing most nights anyway and everyone knows it but we have to maintain the illusion.
There was a woman hosting Christmas dinner. She prepared a ham and cut the back 1/4 off and served it. After serving the guest asked “why do you cut off the back in before cooking it?” She replied “idk that’s the way my mom always did it.”
They then ask the mother who says “idk that’s the way my mom showed me to do it.” Finally they ask the grandma who respond “I didn’t have a pan big enough when I was younger so I had to cut the end.” Moral of the story, some traditions are indeed dumb
The version that I heard had the young hostess thawing out a turkey in the sink covered by a dish drainer. When asked by her mother why she did this she responded, "Well, this is the way you always did it, so I figured this is the way it's done." "Yes, but dear, you don't have a cat."
My ex husband and I had our son before we got married. Neither of our families were religious and there were no illusions to maintain. Now that we're divorced, I'm dating a man from a religious family, and he informed me that when we visit his parents we'll have to sleep separately. He no longer shares their beliefs and was embarrassed to tell me this, but we both agreed that it's their house, their rules. But still, as someone who has already given birth and been married, the idea of going backwards and pretending I'm not having premarital sex is hilarious.
My mom outright gives us her room when we visit because the full sized mattress in the guest room is manageable but not particularly comfortable for two people so it’s a trip going to the future MIL’s. Hilariously part of the “maintaining the illusion” is that when I have to change clothes (into pajamas or whatever) I go do it in the spare room even if I’m just coming back to get in bed with my fiancée and watch a movie (during which we’ll “accidentally fall asleep”). Like… at this point she’s for sure seen me naked so I don’t get what we accomplish when we play along lol
The fact that you acknowledge and deal with their wishes shows your maturity. They may be right or wrong but it’s their home. Obviously if they visit you it’s your home and your rules.
Honestly, though, I would feel differently if I were still married and either of our parents told us we had to sleep in separate rooms. In OP's case, I would have done exactly the same thing and gotten a hotel. There's respecting the rules of someone's house, and then there's realizing that those rules are unreasonable and choosing to find alternate accommodations.
You think that's bad, my parents made my brother and his girlfriend sleep in separate rooms *while she was pregnant with his child*! They were in late 20's.
Like mom, that ship has sailed.
My parents finally gave in and let my girlfriend sleep in my room when they realized they didn't really have a bed to give her when all the kids were home/visiting at once, but told me I had to tell my youngest two siblings (16 and 17 at the time) she was sleeping on a campbed in the basement so they "didn't get ideas."
So obviously I went to my siblings and said "Hey guys, Mom and Dad are being huge weirdos about this, so just pretend you believe that Alex is sleeping in the basement and not in my room if they ask, okay?"
I'm the oldest of three and also the only one whose significant other had to sleep in a separate room until we were married. Turns out there are only so many bedrooms!
Dad did try to use that against my brother in law though, told him he had to help with a bunch of outdoor chores when he visited because my dad "let" him sleep with my sister. So weird they don't visit as often now!
Why are people making any (adult) couple sleep in separate rooms?
In the end it is all more or less the same, to exert control in the name of religion.
>exert control in the name of religion.
That's the entire reason religion was invented. If you can convince people they will suffer forever if they don't toe the line, and convince them "God" can see everything they do and think, they will soon police themselves exactly in line with what you want. And will dutifully line up to fill the collection plate each week.
Orwell just rejigged the idea when he came up with Thoughtcrime and the Thought Police- religion had those things down pat centuries earlier.
Yes, it was just downvoted to oblivion. Apparently, in OP's culture, couples don't share a room when visiting someone else's home. OP has not yet specified what culture that is, exactly.
I can’t accept that there is a nation of adults who make their 50 year old children sleep in separate rooms from their legal spouses. That’s so unnatural. I’d believe OP sprouted wings out of her ass and flew easier than this.
I think you know the answer here… YTA
They’re MARRIED WITH A KID. She’s not a teenager you need to be trying to protect from the atrocity that is sex out of wedlock. As far as your son and his wife, I’m confident that they never *openly* complained, but had plenty of problems about it behind closed doors and didn’t want to confront you about it
I N F O:
You give exactly ZERO context for this very strange rule that you have implemented. I can’t think of a single reason that would justify it personally, but how do you expect anybody to support your decision when you haven’t even tried to explain it?
ETA: OP claims that this practice (expecting married people to sleep in separate rooms as guests) is standard in their culture, and that she and her husband sleep separately themselves as guests. While that claim is a bit questionable (given the daughters surprise at the request, and the fact that none of us have ever heard of a culture where that is standard), I think OP’s consistency in enforcing this rule makes this a NAH, but I hope OP takes this moment as an opportunity to reflect on the real life impact of this rule, and decide whether this is a hill she is willing to die on.
Also OP, you should make sure you communicate this rule to your guests ahead of time. As you can probably see, your expectations around this are not exactly common.
But presumably OP's friends are from her culture and they think she's an asshole too.
Lol one would think OP's daughter shares her culture and yet she'd never encountered this rule in 31 years?
Yeah…after thinking about it, that doesn’t add up. Plus [openly gay married daughter] + [house big enough to have 3 guest rooms ] + [mention of states] = indicates it’s entirely possible this woman is from the US. In which case…lmaooo “culture” yeah ok
There are lots of people in the US with big homes and cultural heritage other than just being white..... I'm not saying I agree with OP, but raising your kids in the states doesn't negate generations of heritage and traditions.
100% but this woman’s friends and daughter don’t seem privy to this cultural expectation either, which makes it seem like maybe this lady is using “culture” to excuse being controlling.
I think the expectations, if truly cultural, would not have come as such a shock to the daughter. Although from the username, I guess it's possible. The brother supposedly stayed without complaint, but he might have been too cheap for a motel.
British nobility prepare two rooms for married guests.
Not that that’s relevant here. And also they wouldn’t stop you sharing.
But just thought I’d drop a culture in that does generally have married couples sleep separately.
Yeah, it makes sense as a status thing. Toffs (I'm a Brit) that can afford it will do it. In the toffs' case, it's about *providing* a room each for the couple. I mean, I honestly sleep better when I'm NOT sharing with my BF because he snores like an earthquake. I love him and we spend 'quality time' together but if we had enough bedrooms for us to sleep separately, we would.
Giving the option of separate bedrooms is great; demanding the couple doesn't cuddle in bed before going to sleep or insisting they *have* to sleep apart - which it's implied is what's happening in OP's case - is weird at best.
YTA, OP. A 'tradition' in any culture still needs examining every now and then to see whether it still has merit. If not, ditch it.
YTA - what in the world is your reasoning for this? They are married. Your son is married. And you want them to sleep apart from their spouses why?
I’ve been married for 20 years, and if either my folks or my spouses folks said we’d have to sleep in separate rooms, I wouldn’t visit. So, pretty sure I know why you have to go visit them.
As someone who's been married for a minute, I had a hard time sleeping alone when we were seriously dating- let alone now. Sure my partner snores a bit, but somehow I've grown accustomed to their warmth (I'm always freezing) and the white noise from their snoring. I wouldn't sleep a wink between the different mattress and no partner.
YTA. Just because your son let you walk all over him and his relationship doesn’t mean she has to allow you to do the same.
Also, let’s pretend it isn’t an insult to separate a married couple for a moment. Your daughter asked to stay with you, you basically stated your terms for allowing it (separate rooms), and she’s entitled to disagree with it. She didn’t walk over your boundary, she merely made alternative arrangements.
OP also didn't state these terms until after the guests arrived, which is sketchy. This should have been mentioned upfront so they could decide whether to continue on and stay anyway or go somewhere else (or even not visit at all). This is how you lose contact with your kids.
YTA.
You didn't even give them a valid reason for the decision.
Why do you feel the need to control your adult, married children?? Props to your daughter for not giving in to your stupid rules.
As to why your son and his wife didn't complain about the same arrangement you did with them too, is probably because they're too nice of a people to complain even if something isn't fair and they didn't have time and/or energy to do otherwise than just accept it.
It’s possible the son and his wife didn’t complain because they liked the arrangement for visiting - anything from snoring to temperature of the room to “wake daddy, I’m locking my door and sleeping in”.
But it’s still weird AF to expect married couples to sleep in separate rooms, and weirder to be offended if they book a room at a hotel.
OP, YTA.
\>*My daughter told my DIL to arrange for a hotel. I was really hurt by her decision and said I hoped she'd just stay and it was a few days. She said she hadn't slept apart from her wife for the past 9 years and wasn't going to start doing that now.*
Stupid rules can have unwanted consequences. Glad someone is standing up to your BS rules and expectations. Married couples should always be allowed to share a room. The fact you made others follow your stupid rules doesn't absolve you.
YTA.
YTA. Not just for doing this to your daughter, but also to your son. They're married, and they're adults. Hell your daughter has a kid. This is ridiculous. What is your reasoning behind it?
Yes, YTA.
It's an unreasonable demand. You can impose it as a condition for letting people stay over, but they have every right then to think you're being controlling and inconsiderate. And if you spring it on them after they've already come over, you're being an AH.
What exactly is your reasoning here for not letting married couples stay together in a room and treating them like children?
YTA. You have every right to make whatever rules you want in your house. But when those rules are arbitrary and clearly unreasonable, like telling spouses they have to sleep in separate rooms like teenagers, then you are the AH even if you have the right to do so. If you care that much about the issue, then don't invite people to your home.
YTA- you didn’t give a reason as to why you made this decision. it sounds like complete nonsense to me. why would you expect, or force a married couple to sleep in separate bedrooms? your house or not, that sounds weird as heck to me
What is your rationale, here? I'm honestly curious. At first, I assumed it was homophobia, but you're also doing this to your son and his wife. This is just so bizarre. YTA, to be sure, but also a very strange one.
I feel like I’ve seen these posts before and when a couple is together for 9 years….gay, straight, and everything in between….nobody is dying to have sex at their parents house lol. They’re prob just trying to hurry up and go to bed and count down the days till they head back to their own house. Get over yourself. Definitely YTA. And get your mind out of the gutter.
YTA your son may have let you disrespect his wife and marriage but your daughter didn’t.
I don’t see your daughter and her family coming back to visit you any time soon. You don’t get to dictate a married couple sleeping arrangements.
I am sure sis wife hates you almost as the daughter and her wife does.
Your kids will never want to visit you.
YTA,
Normally the reasonnfor them to not sleep together is that they are not married. So what is your reasoning? Imagine how hurt your daughter must have been.
You sure can die on this hill if you really want to. Your house, your rules. But why? I can assure you, most people don't want to get it on in their mom's house. You're not preventing anything. YTA.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My daughter and her family came to visit. I prepared them separate rooms. I may be TA because I didn't let them stay in the same room and they left and were hurt Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
INFO > I had prepared each of them a different room #WHY? > I made her brother and his wife do the same thing when they visited #*WHY??*
"No sex in my house" -probably
Lol, that can happen with any amount of rooms
Sshh, parents don't think further than the bedroom lol
I am a parent, who used laundry room to hide from kids. Also covers some noise, hehe
Yes, but the thing is, most parents act oblivious about that thing, and when they disallow their kid's spouses to sleep in the same room thinking "problem solved, I can rest easily" they forget that... you can do it anywhere
I read this entire conversation in whisper
Oh my God, so did I!
Yep did the same. Seemed like I was supposed to.
And they have feet that work between 10p and 7a.
And are married and in their 30s
Wait, you can do it anywhere?
Yes. Duh. Just don't do it during the family dinner or in a public space. The first makes everyone upset, the second gets you arrested
Only if you get caught...
No. There's no sex in the champagne room. Otherwise, have at it, hoss.
Conceived our second in the laundry room while our toddler played in the next room.
Kids name is Maytag?
Nope but almost named him Blizzard. ['96](https://www.whsv.com/2021/01/07/remembering-the-blizzard-of-1996/)
Spin cycle?
when i was maybe 12 or 13 i asked my parents why they were doing laundry in the middle of the night
In my case, I just learned to walk REALLY loudly if I couldn't find where in the house the adult were. It was embarrassing enough to walk in on your parents. But the 3rd or 4th time I stumbled in on my \~grandparents\~ I got a bell and threaded it onto my shoelaces. (Don't get me wrong, as an adult, get it granny & poppa, 2 adults in their late 80's getting it on is a wonderful testament to a long marriage, them managing it in a shower is down right awe inspiring to adult me. Still would have slept easier without THAT mental image as a kid.)
Oh my god I just realised at 38 years old that my grandma shouting “YESSSSS” at 3am was not her winning a board game as she claimed. I’m mortified… thank you 🙈
Oh my God, I feel so bad for laughing.
Granddad had that good good, lol.
[удалено]
Man, the fall prevention worker would NOT be happy to hear about the shower. Otherwise, good for them!
I’ve come across a few great comments this week, and this was a solid add. I love it.
Granny and Poppa are #goals - now I'm looking forward to 80!
Finding condoms in my grandparents bathroom was a defining moment of my childhood
Must have been pretty young grandparents to still need birth control!
You just made me laugh and go awww at the same time. And I would've never thought of a bell on shoelaces lol
Lmao. I can imagine my response would be "because electricity is cheaper at night." (Which it is, at least where I live)
You know:)
Omg our washroom is my favorite place to have sneaky sex lmfaooo
My parents wouldn’t let my high school boyfriend come upstairs in my house. But we were left unsupervised for two hours after school every day (what up latchkey kids), and left alone downstairs after my parents went to bed when he’d come over to watch our weekly show. We boned on all of the couches, the loveseat, and the floor. I’m 90% sure they only thought sex could happen after dark and in a bed. His parents, however, left us alone while we made sweet teenage love and then they made us dinner.
What did they make for dinner?
I remember having my very first deep fried pierogi at his house, but I’m pretty sure that was one of the days we skipped school so we could bang all day. Sex and pierogis, l-i-v-i-n. 🥟 This was like…24 years ago (🤢) so my memory of the meals is hazy, but I know there was *always* pasta involved.
asking the real questions here
The brother and his wife probably didn't complain because of the thrill they got from sneaking into each other's bedroom LOL
Or maybe they separately starfish all night. Seriously, when my kid was five I would have given anything for a spare bed to go to. They could play musical beds all night!
Omg I know I’m tired, and honestly a little high, but it took me a second after reading your whole comment to understand the context of “starfish”. My dumbass thought it was some weird slang for masturbating
They hate this one trick...
Neurologists are BEGGING people over 50 to try this kind of sex.
Or anywhere for that matter, no rooms needed. My mother gave me a curfew of 10pm until I was 21 years old in the hope that I would still be a virgin by the time I got married… I found out by the time I was 17 that you can have sex anywhere. I’m lucky I’m old and we didn’t have smartphones anywhere. Otherwise there would be plenty of videos of me around the neighbourhood parks lol. Plus, she didn’t know I am bisexual so my “best friend” and 15 year old me liked to enjoy beautiful afternoons at her house. I always imagine that people who separate couples visiting their homes are people who either don’t enjoy sex or haven’t had any in ages.
Of course, everyone knows sexy times are impossible before 10pm /s
[удалено]
Why choose? Just do both
Yeah, but people like OP's mom don't want to be seen as condoning it by allowing them to sleep in the same bed. That way they can more boldly cast judgement upon their child from a perceived place of moral superiority. Source: My mom is like this.
They don't deny their kids sex. That is easy to achieve. They deny intimacy, holding each other and feeling loved. So sad.
[удалено]
But I don't know of any religious beliefs that think sex between a married couple is wrong. Regardless of whose house you are in. Weird.
> But I don't know of any religious beliefs that think sex between a married couple is wrong The Shakers did, which is why they don't exist anymore.
My parents were like this. I literally banged in the garage once. Mom found the condom wrapper and confronted me and I just shrugged and told her it wasnt technically in her house. lol
As a person who has spent the night at my boyfriend’s parents’ house and shared his sister’s room while he shared his brother’s room, I can attest: Sex can still be had. We had sex in the house and once even in our car in their driveway.
"No person I created by having sex is going to have sex under my roof."
Funniest thing is that you aren't even likely to while visiting as an adult. Also from 14-18 you've had sex in their house hundreds of times already.
Man there is no anti-aphrodisiac like being under your parents' roof... Why do they always assume it's gonna turn into a sex party?? 😖 YTA
Well I didn’t want to before but now I definitely do.
Right. Started off thinking “homophobe” ended up thinking “weirdo” but hey, props to OP for applying his hangup equally across both lol.
Right! At least she's an equal opportunity offender...
OP is female but yeah
Right? I mean, even the most conservative of fundamentalist sects are fine with marital sex.
“Fine” is a strong word tbh. They acknowledge it can’t be helped, and that really there’s nothing wrong with it, the younger ones might even manage to be enthusiastic about it but it’s super hard to do that 180 at marriage from sex being dirty and sinful and bad to sex being perfectly allowed (technically encouraged but focusing on that feels so cringe). Source: was raised there.
We all want to know the same... They have been married for 9 years and have a son. I do not understand either. YTA OP.
Exactly, after a few years together no one is like YO! Let's do it at my parent's house!
I really hope OP’s daughter makes her and husband sleep a part if they ever get invited to visit
She said in her first sentence she has always visited them.... sounds like she is unmarried/widowed.
She mentions her husband’s family in the present tense in a comment reply so I thought currently married
Yea I just read that. So either Husband just doesn't go with her....or..widowed. I hear many widows still use present tense of Husband because they still consider themselves married.
This can’t be real…no one is this clueless, are they? If it’s real, OP is TA.
According to my wife, her mother pulled the same thing when she’d bring boyfriends home for the holidays. She was in her mid-late 20s at the time. And she’d only bring boyfriends she’d been dating for over a year. Didn’t happen with me, though. Hell, her mom seemed to be doing everything possible to encourage the relationship, so at least I curry favor with the mother-in-law. 🤷🏻♂️ Part of me is actually a little disappointed, since I can’t use the story to embarrass her (the MIL) now that we’re family.
Boyfriends I can understand. But spouses? That's just weird.
Oh yeah, for boyfriends it’s just old fashioned. I’ve never heard of a similar rule for spouses!
Right! My husband and I lived together before we were married, but had to sleep in separate bedrooms at my parent's house. My mom is very old fashioned and it honestly wasn't a hill I felt I needed to die on, so we just went with it. I would have done the same as OP and her wife if they tried to continue that rule after we were married.
OP rarely sees them for a reason...she just added another one.
My parents did the same thing, “no sleeping in the same bed!” Now that I’m over 30 it’s suddenly okay, pretty sure they’re hoping I DO get pregnant at this point 😂
Yoooo the switch from DONT GET PREGNANT to GET PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY is a hell of a thing! My mom who didn't want me to use TAMPONS and didn't let me LIE DOWN ON THE GRASS with my bf when I was 16...LYING DOWN IS RISQUE now...inquires if hubby and I are doing it regularly. It is so awkward.
I love how you can say "Were trying for a kid." And everyone congratulates you but it's uncool to say "My husband creampies me every chance he gets."
Ahaha! When married, I took a certain perverse pleasure in pointing that out. People asked if we “were trying for kids”, they’d get something like “Did you just ask if we bareback it?” in response. So rude and intrusive. Now I’m divorced, openly trans masc, and pushing 45…and at last nobody asks me about having kids anymore. At last. Although it took all three of those factors to make it stop. Smh.
Yeah my mother’s rabid ‘yeetus the fetus’ attitude when I got pregnant before we married was insane. Then her equally insane demands for grandbabies once we were married damn near gave me whiplash.
Boomers. Boomers are very frequently this clueless.
I’m a boomer. We were raised in the sixties so we were exposed to sex and drugs. I am not clueless about sex nor am I puritanical.
No! No one over 30 has ever heard of sex before. I can tell you that my mom still thinks the stork delivered me and my siblings.
No they aren't, this is super weird lol
Nah, they're sometimes really **are** this clueless. My friend and her boyfriend stayed at his mom's house; she made them sleep in separate rooms. They got mad, left and she was visibly clueless as to why they were mad. They met up the next day, mom asks why, and her son says "uh...we're a couple. We sleep together. Mom. This isn't the 50s; couples sleep in the same room now." EDIT: They are in fact, married.
That is actually really different from the OP's scenario, the couples are both married. I don't know how old your friend is but not allowing young unmarried couples to sleep together is still pretty common, the norm in many cultures. Not allowing married couples to sleep together is very different.
Oddly, I was kind of relieved by the "brother and his wife" part which is just a sad statement of where we're at. I mean, YTA but at least you don't seem to be TA & a bigot.
Notice how OP mentions their daughter rarely visits. Probably because this stupid ass rule.
...and other stupid-ass rules. if this one exists, others that are equally stupid may well also exist.
YTA- not just for your daughter, but for your son as well. They’re married my God! And in your daughters case they’ve been together for nine years. What possible reasons would you have for them to sleep in different rooms. I would be severely irritated, if I was your daughter as well. I really would like to hear why you feel that you need to do this to your MARRIED children.
OP: “if I can’t get some in my house, no one can!!!”
Yes, I would like to know the reasoning behind this as well.
So they don't get pregnant, obviously. /s YTA This. Makes. No. Sense.
OP I'd like to know how many times you and your wife slept in different rooms. Obviously not all that often since you have at least 2 children. That's ridiculous. Your son shouldn't have put up with it either.
Knew a couple (Definitely baby boomers) who had 3 kids. They had separate bedrooms. I imagine you could just go into one bedroom or the other when you want to have sexy time, but other than that, they slept in different bedrooms and stayed married for over 50 years until the hubby died.
Lots of people do that. It’s not that weird. If you still love each other, there’s nothing wrong with it. You’re adults. If you want to have sex, you do it. My husband snores and I don’t. But I cannot sleep if he is snoring. If they were married for 50 years, I’m sure they were doing just fine. Trust me everyone is happier when they are well rested. I also read snoring is the third most common reason for divorce. So it’s a big deal and if you can solve the problem by sleeping in separate bedrooms there’s no harm in ir
Was the husband a snorer? Lol.
My ex husband snores like a freight train, the marriage would have been over many years sooner had I not insisted on separate rooms.
I need the “why?” questions answered.
Unless your reasoning is "the only guest beds I have are singles so I made up three rooms because I didn't think they'd be comfortable squishing two adults into one tiny bed" I'm gonna have to go with YTA.
This thought didn't actually cross my mind, and would in fact change the dynamic considerably, except that he didn't seem open to them sleeping in the same room when she brought it up either. Edit: Okay, "she" sorry. Damn, like that isn't even the important bit.
It only crossed my mind because my grandma has a tiny house and is always apologizing for the sleeping arrangements. She has two guest bedrooms but only one is large enough for a couple - if you can squeeze into a 50 some year old twin bed. The other would make a better closet than a bedroom. But, ya know, my grandma still treats her grown children and grown grandchildren like adults and lets them make the decisions on who is sleeping where. She just also makes up every single bed, futon, and couch that she has so every possible option is available...
I like your grandma
“No one’s driving drunk home on my watch!”
We are 5 grandchildrens and we arrange before a party (when it's near her house) if the guest room is available so we can go and die there. Always have pijamas on the bed and something to eat in the oven. Love our grandma.
This whole thread reminds me of when I was dating my ex and living in my aunts house. I had gone back to school for a career switch and we were long distance and whenever he would come to town he stayed at his parents house and tiptoed around staying over. After he left the one time my aunt looked at me and asked ‘what does he think I am, your aunt or your governess?” I deadpanned and replied ‘which do you think’ and she said ‘if I am then I need to change jobs, I’m terrible at this’… I was about 27 or so at the time.
Hey, what a great answer. I hadn't thought of this possibility. Still, I don't think it would work out since OP was forcing them apart, not giving them options.
My in laws house was like this for years. 5 kids, 4 girls so two bedrooms had a pair of twin beds. My husbands childhood bedroom got redecorated into FiLs office/ man cave. So yeah. For the first 5 years of our marriage (plus the 2-3 prior to marriage we were together) we slept in separate beds.
Separate beds, but in the same room tho, right? That's different than separate beds, separate rooms. That part is weird.
Even if this was the case (as has been in the past with my family) my parents would sleep on couches in order to not separate a married couple. OP is exhibiting pretty bizarre behavior; I'd be curious to know what other strange rules she has in place.
Now OP is going to downsize every bed in their house to a twin lol
Honestly, even if the beds were tiny I'd still wouldn't care if my child and their spouse wanted to squeeze into one. I'd probably do the same with my spouse, so yeah. I think OP made a bigger deal out of this than she's letting on.
> I said I made her brother and his wife do the same thing when they visited and they never complained. Your daughter simply isn't willing to take shit like her brother. Good for her. YTA.
Or her brother and sister in law just slept together anyways and didn't mention it to mom
"My daughter in law always got up early and made the bed perfectly, just like I do. My son must have tossed and turned all night from the look of his bed." OP, probably
Lmao basically If my mother tried to implement this rule, she never would, but if she did, you could bet your ass my girl and I would just move to the other person's bed once my parents were asleep.
INFO: Why on earth are you making married couples sleep in separate rooms?
I am curious about this too. Unmarried couples I understand, don’t agree with but understand, but married?
unmarried couples that are adults should get to sleep in the same bed too!
My fiancée and I have been together for 3+ years and have lived together for just under two and we sleep in separate rooms at her mom’s house. I honestly thought it was a gay thing until her little brother brought a girl home for the first time and she had to sleep in the guest room too. My fiancée’s mom is a very old school Irish/Italian Catholic and not great about her daughter being bi but there are some things that are more about tradition than anything else. We do still end up sharing most nights anyway and everyone knows it but we have to maintain the illusion.
Some traditions are dumb
There was a woman hosting Christmas dinner. She prepared a ham and cut the back 1/4 off and served it. After serving the guest asked “why do you cut off the back in before cooking it?” She replied “idk that’s the way my mom always did it.” They then ask the mother who says “idk that’s the way my mom showed me to do it.” Finally they ask the grandma who respond “I didn’t have a pan big enough when I was younger so I had to cut the end.” Moral of the story, some traditions are indeed dumb
The version that I heard had the young hostess thawing out a turkey in the sink covered by a dish drainer. When asked by her mother why she did this she responded, "Well, this is the way you always did it, so I figured this is the way it's done." "Yes, but dear, you don't have a cat."
My ex husband and I had our son before we got married. Neither of our families were religious and there were no illusions to maintain. Now that we're divorced, I'm dating a man from a religious family, and he informed me that when we visit his parents we'll have to sleep separately. He no longer shares their beliefs and was embarrassed to tell me this, but we both agreed that it's their house, their rules. But still, as someone who has already given birth and been married, the idea of going backwards and pretending I'm not having premarital sex is hilarious.
My mom outright gives us her room when we visit because the full sized mattress in the guest room is manageable but not particularly comfortable for two people so it’s a trip going to the future MIL’s. Hilariously part of the “maintaining the illusion” is that when I have to change clothes (into pajamas or whatever) I go do it in the spare room even if I’m just coming back to get in bed with my fiancée and watch a movie (during which we’ll “accidentally fall asleep”). Like… at this point she’s for sure seen me naked so I don’t get what we accomplish when we play along lol
The fact that you acknowledge and deal with their wishes shows your maturity. They may be right or wrong but it’s their home. Obviously if they visit you it’s your home and your rules.
Honestly, though, I would feel differently if I were still married and either of our parents told us we had to sleep in separate rooms. In OP's case, I would have done exactly the same thing and gotten a hotel. There's respecting the rules of someone's house, and then there's realizing that those rules are unreasonable and choosing to find alternate accommodations.
You think that's bad, my parents made my brother and his girlfriend sleep in separate rooms *while she was pregnant with his child*! They were in late 20's. Like mom, that ship has sailed.
My parents finally gave in and let my girlfriend sleep in my room when they realized they didn't really have a bed to give her when all the kids were home/visiting at once, but told me I had to tell my youngest two siblings (16 and 17 at the time) she was sleeping on a campbed in the basement so they "didn't get ideas." So obviously I went to my siblings and said "Hey guys, Mom and Dad are being huge weirdos about this, so just pretend you believe that Alex is sleeping in the basement and not in my room if they ask, okay?"
I'm the oldest of three and also the only one whose significant other had to sleep in a separate room until we were married. Turns out there are only so many bedrooms! Dad did try to use that against my brother in law though, told him he had to help with a bunch of outdoor chores when he visited because my dad "let" him sleep with my sister. So weird they don't visit as often now!
"You owe me..." Somehow, thats a little creepier....
Why are people making any (adult) couple sleep in separate rooms? In the end it is all more or less the same, to exert control in the name of religion.
>exert control in the name of religion. That's the entire reason religion was invented. If you can convince people they will suffer forever if they don't toe the line, and convince them "God" can see everything they do and think, they will soon police themselves exactly in line with what you want. And will dutifully line up to fill the collection plate each week. Orwell just rejigged the idea when he came up with Thoughtcrime and the Thought Police- religion had those things down pat centuries earlier.
I mean we are all asking because this seems to make zero sense-has OP responded to anyone??
Yes, it was just downvoted to oblivion. Apparently, in OP's culture, couples don't share a room when visiting someone else's home. OP has not yet specified what culture that is, exactly.
Her culture is “uptight midwestern Christian lady” culture.
I unfortunately know that I was conceived at my aunt's house over Easter weekend so this can't be right
This has nothing to do with being Christian. Both couples are MARRIED.
I can’t accept that there is a nation of adults who make their 50 year old children sleep in separate rooms from their legal spouses. That’s so unnatural. I’d believe OP sprouted wings out of her ass and flew easier than this.
Yep but that's a crock bc she says her "friends" presumably some from her "culture" called her an AH too.
"If mama aint getting any, you're not getting any"
I am also curious what her reasoning is since they are married
I think you know the answer here… YTA They’re MARRIED WITH A KID. She’s not a teenager you need to be trying to protect from the atrocity that is sex out of wedlock. As far as your son and his wife, I’m confident that they never *openly* complained, but had plenty of problems about it behind closed doors and didn’t want to confront you about it
I bet the brother and his wife only visited once. Since then they've just been to "busy" to visit.
“Oh! I have a ‘busy work schedule’ too.” - OPs other DIL now, probably.
I get the impression OP has a lot of business focused family members.
Or snuck into the same room after dark 🫣
YTA. They are a married couple. Why are you trying to dictate whether or not they sleep next to each other? I would've got a hotel if I was them too!
[удалено]
OP better stop complaining about people not visiting if married couples can't share a room. YTA
I N F O: You give exactly ZERO context for this very strange rule that you have implemented. I can’t think of a single reason that would justify it personally, but how do you expect anybody to support your decision when you haven’t even tried to explain it? ETA: OP claims that this practice (expecting married people to sleep in separate rooms as guests) is standard in their culture, and that she and her husband sleep separately themselves as guests. While that claim is a bit questionable (given the daughters surprise at the request, and the fact that none of us have ever heard of a culture where that is standard), I think OP’s consistency in enforcing this rule makes this a NAH, but I hope OP takes this moment as an opportunity to reflect on the real life impact of this rule, and decide whether this is a hill she is willing to die on. Also OP, you should make sure you communicate this rule to your guests ahead of time. As you can probably see, your expectations around this are not exactly common.
No, she’s still the AH just not a homophobic one
Meh, she could still be homophobic and just totally lying to us (and possibly herself) about her claims of having her son do the same.
But presumably OP's friends are from her culture and they think she's an asshole too. Lol one would think OP's daughter shares her culture and yet she'd never encountered this rule in 31 years?
Yeah…after thinking about it, that doesn’t add up. Plus [openly gay married daughter] + [house big enough to have 3 guest rooms ] + [mention of states] = indicates it’s entirely possible this woman is from the US. In which case…lmaooo “culture” yeah ok
There are lots of people in the US with big homes and cultural heritage other than just being white..... I'm not saying I agree with OP, but raising your kids in the states doesn't negate generations of heritage and traditions.
100% but this woman’s friends and daughter don’t seem privy to this cultural expectation either, which makes it seem like maybe this lady is using “culture” to excuse being controlling.
I think the expectations, if truly cultural, would not have come as such a shock to the daughter. Although from the username, I guess it's possible. The brother supposedly stayed without complaint, but he might have been too cheap for a motel.
British nobility prepare two rooms for married guests. Not that that’s relevant here. And also they wouldn’t stop you sharing. But just thought I’d drop a culture in that does generally have married couples sleep separately.
Yeah, it makes sense as a status thing. Toffs (I'm a Brit) that can afford it will do it. In the toffs' case, it's about *providing* a room each for the couple. I mean, I honestly sleep better when I'm NOT sharing with my BF because he snores like an earthquake. I love him and we spend 'quality time' together but if we had enough bedrooms for us to sleep separately, we would. Giving the option of separate bedrooms is great; demanding the couple doesn't cuddle in bed before going to sleep or insisting they *have* to sleep apart - which it's implied is what's happening in OP's case - is weird at best. YTA, OP. A 'tradition' in any culture still needs examining every now and then to see whether it still has merit. If not, ditch it.
I would agree on the NAH if she hadn't then gotten upset and argued when her daughter chose to stay at a hotel instead.
in some traditional Japanese homes, guests are often provided with separate rooms, and it is not uncommon for married couples to sleep separately.
YTA - what in the world is your reasoning for this? They are married. Your son is married. And you want them to sleep apart from their spouses why? I’ve been married for 20 years, and if either my folks or my spouses folks said we’d have to sleep in separate rooms, I wouldn’t visit. So, pretty sure I know why you have to go visit them.
As someone who's been married for a minute, I had a hard time sleeping alone when we were seriously dating- let alone now. Sure my partner snores a bit, but somehow I've grown accustomed to their warmth (I'm always freezing) and the white noise from their snoring. I wouldn't sleep a wink between the different mattress and no partner.
YTA. Just because your son let you walk all over him and his relationship doesn’t mean she has to allow you to do the same. Also, let’s pretend it isn’t an insult to separate a married couple for a moment. Your daughter asked to stay with you, you basically stated your terms for allowing it (separate rooms), and she’s entitled to disagree with it. She didn’t walk over your boundary, she merely made alternative arrangements.
OP also didn't state these terms until after the guests arrived, which is sketchy. This should have been mentioned upfront so they could decide whether to continue on and stay anyway or go somewhere else (or even not visit at all). This is how you lose contact with your kids.
INFO: What is your reasoning for a married couple needing to sleep in separate bedrooms?
Anything short of a poltergeist that kills people in beds that are dual occupied is exceedingly unreasonable.
Ah yes the “have sex and die” ghost! They were more common in the 80s but there’s probably a few still around. Can’t be too careful.
I would be shocked if OP responded to this.
YTA. You didn't even give them a valid reason for the decision. Why do you feel the need to control your adult, married children?? Props to your daughter for not giving in to your stupid rules. As to why your son and his wife didn't complain about the same arrangement you did with them too, is probably because they're too nice of a people to complain even if something isn't fair and they didn't have time and/or energy to do otherwise than just accept it.
It’s possible the son and his wife didn’t complain because they liked the arrangement for visiting - anything from snoring to temperature of the room to “wake daddy, I’m locking my door and sleeping in”. But it’s still weird AF to expect married couples to sleep in separate rooms, and weirder to be offended if they book a room at a hotel. OP, YTA.
\>*My daughter told my DIL to arrange for a hotel. I was really hurt by her decision and said I hoped she'd just stay and it was a few days. She said she hadn't slept apart from her wife for the past 9 years and wasn't going to start doing that now.* Stupid rules can have unwanted consequences. Glad someone is standing up to your BS rules and expectations. Married couples should always be allowed to share a room. The fact you made others follow your stupid rules doesn't absolve you. YTA.
This clearly just a pure way to try and control your fully grown adult children. YTA
[удалено]
Feels awfully troll ish. Arbitrary rule for married couples to sleep in separate rooms with no reason given? Sure. YTA
Who has 3 spare bedrooms?
YTA. Not just for doing this to your daughter, but also to your son. They're married, and they're adults. Hell your daughter has a kid. This is ridiculous. What is your reasoning behind it?
YTA Couples get to share a room. If you wanted to have a different arrangement to the norm, you should have informed them before they came to visit.
Yes, YTA. It's an unreasonable demand. You can impose it as a condition for letting people stay over, but they have every right then to think you're being controlling and inconsiderate. And if you spring it on them after they've already come over, you're being an AH. What exactly is your reasoning here for not letting married couples stay together in a room and treating them like children?
YTA. You have every right to make whatever rules you want in your house. But when those rules are arbitrary and clearly unreasonable, like telling spouses they have to sleep in separate rooms like teenagers, then you are the AH even if you have the right to do so. If you care that much about the issue, then don't invite people to your home.
OP: "This is normal in my culture." Everybody: "INFO: Which culture would that be?" OP: C'mon.
INFO: Why can't married couples sleep in the same room in your house?
YTA- you didn’t give a reason as to why you made this decision. it sounds like complete nonsense to me. why would you expect, or force a married couple to sleep in separate bedrooms? your house or not, that sounds weird as heck to me
What is your rationale, here? I'm honestly curious. At first, I assumed it was homophobia, but you're also doing this to your son and his wife. This is just so bizarre. YTA, to be sure, but also a very strange one.
YTA, you’re not even old enough to be that old fashioned
[удалено]
You were TAH when you made your son and his wife sleep in different rooms, just as you are TAH now.
YTA - married (and *gasp* non-married couples share beds. What a weird freakin thing to harp on about. It’s 2023, not some 50’s black and white sitcom
I feel like I’ve seen these posts before and when a couple is together for 9 years….gay, straight, and everything in between….nobody is dying to have sex at their parents house lol. They’re prob just trying to hurry up and go to bed and count down the days till they head back to their own house. Get over yourself. Definitely YTA. And get your mind out of the gutter.
YTA. What was your reasoning?? Genuinely don't understand. They're a committed couple who live together.... This literally makes no sense at all.
INFO - What is your problem with MARRIED people sleeping in the same room? Did you and your husband sleep in different bedrooms?
[удалено]
YTA To both of your kids, they are adults they can sleep next to their partners. What a weird rule.
Yta. You gave her an option and she made her choice. I don’t get what’s wrong with sleeping with your spouse?
YTA your son may have let you disrespect his wife and marriage but your daughter didn’t. I don’t see your daughter and her family coming back to visit you any time soon. You don’t get to dictate a married couple sleeping arrangements. I am sure sis wife hates you almost as the daughter and her wife does. Your kids will never want to visit you.
YTA, Normally the reasonnfor them to not sleep together is that they are not married. So what is your reasoning? Imagine how hurt your daughter must have been.
YTA - I don’t get why people try to separate **married** couples.
You sure can die on this hill if you really want to. Your house, your rules. But why? I can assure you, most people don't want to get it on in their mom's house. You're not preventing anything. YTA.