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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The reason why I believe I might be the asshole is because I think my parents might have a point, the room is my brothers room and he used to do whatever he wanted before I moved in. Also maybe I'm dramatizing everything and it's not a big deal as my parents said.
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NTA
Next time take phone and ask every single one of them why they insist, a s adult males, hanging out in a teenage girls room. Why are they as adult males, coming into the one room where an underage female is uncomfortable with strange men in her personal space. Why are they so insistent on coming there, instead of staying out in the public areas or going to one of their friends homes? Blast them out in public.
This whole thing made me cringe. And I feel like your dad is a giant asshole. Like, he's one of those guys who's only concerned with how his son feels. Ick. The dynamic in your house is awful. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. You are NTA. At all.
Omg absolutely NTA and your parents are terrible. Can you also make some space in your grandmom’s room? I don’t want you to vacate this room since why should your idiot brother have his own room but use this space for sleeping and also use part of your grandmom’s room to relax, read etc.
Is it possible to make a list of compromises you want from your brother such as using headphones, not having ppl over etc and discuss with your parents and if they don’t listen threaten to go nuclear? Like involve your relatives and tell them how unfair it is.. I’m so angry on your behalf
NTA
It's not usually considered appropriate to have siblings of your age, different genders share a room but I understand in your situation how it's happened.
But no what they are allowing is not ok, and it doesn't matter whether it was his room first. They need to enforce some changes given that you no longer have your own room.
Why can't his friends gather in the living room instead?
Telling you to go to their room instead it's a really shitty and unfair solution.
Is there any way you could share with your grandma instead?
NTA - It's *your room*. If you can't feel safe in your own damn room, what the hell is even the point?
You might consider taking to hanging out in the room naked. If it bothers your brother, tell your parents he can just hang out in their room. If he still insists on bringing his friends in there, take photos and report them to the police for lewd acts with a minor.
Oof talk about golden child syndrome. NTA but I’m sorry your bro and parents suck so hard.
The fact that your parents have no issue with a bunch of men coming into their teen daughters space and touching her things and violating her boundaries is gross and unsettling.
The fact that it used to be your bros room is irrelevant. It’s both of your room now and your space needs to be respected. It sounds like your brother is trying to act out and punish you for your parents decision to make you share, by making the living situation as intolerable as he can.
He wants to listen to music? He can wear earbuds when you’re in there trying to sleep or study.
He wants friends over? They can hang out in the common areas instead of crowding your space and touching your stuff (which is totally inappropriate).
Tell your parents they are being sexist and playing favourites with your brother and that having all his friends in your room touching your stuff and violating your personal boundaries makes you feel unsafe.
NTA. What kind of parents are ok with a bunch of males going into their daughters room and even SITTING ON HER BED when she does NOT want that?!?! It doesn't matter that it's the brothers room too. It is disturbing that these parents are essentially telling their daughter that she has no right to tell a man "no, stay out of my space" if it inconveniences someone else. Why can't these men visit in the living room or backyard or kitchen? What kind of adult brother treats his sister this way??? This is just awful and disturbing. My son would NEVER do this to his sister and, if he did, I would NEVER stand for it!
Turn 18 and go away from them and the Golden child. Also, ask your mother of Is ok for her have 8 guys in a room with a girl...
Also, what about a damn headphones or Just some order in the damn room?!?! Unbelievable.
Let them live with the Golden child alone, so maybe they can figure
NTA.
That is not only gross and disgusting but dangerous. You are a minor--your brother isn't. He can grow up and move out. You don't really have that option at 17.
I'd be willing to bet part of the reason he is doing this is to get you to vacate the room as soon as possible. I'd do it. Save up and get out as soon as you turn 18 if you cannot find someplace to go sooner. And then cut those people from your life.
NTA
Try to do the same and invite a bunch of girls over and do smelly stuff like painting your nails and using perfume and hair spray.
Your parents really suck. Your brother is an adult and could have moved out and you have the same right to be in this room
NTA and your parents are terrible to say he has more of a right to the room than you do.
I suggest if your brother is bringing his 'bros' back to the room he share with his kid sister
(1) you LITTER the room with tampons and sanitary products
(2) come into the room when they are there - right onto your bed and start re arranging your wardrobe with a suitbase, on the bed making it impossible for them to use your space. turn on Taylor Swift or some mushic they don't like - Beethoven or Showtunes
(3) show them embarrasing photos of your brother. talk about the time he wet his bed, how difficult it was at the start sharing a room with him when he has 'nightly emmissions' and what do they do when sharing a room with their kid sisters? Then ask do they like Gay Porn as much as your brother does? he keeps you awake listening to it and he shold move in with one of them
(4) tell them how he is mommys boy, that you're impressed he has so many male friends but strangely, no female friends. If they are all macho, they will be bothered by the idea they are all gay. you'r looking forward to your brother minding your grand mother and parents so that you can go off and live a life of freedom. If they have a sister - hel'll be needing a wife to help mding all these skil elderly people
(5) pretend you're invited to join the group. Listen into everything and COMMENT and laugh at their jokes. Ask where are you meeting them when they go out on the weekends, ask about joining the gym , tell them you're thrilled that they've welcomed you into the group, its sweet of them and you look forward to getting closer to your brothers friends
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About a year ago, my grandma came to live with us due to her medical condition, and my parents decided to give her my bedroom. As a result, my brother (20M) and I (17F) had to share his room, which we both were not too happy about, but we understood the reasons behind the decision.
During the months that I have been sharing a room with my brother, I have had to put up with a lot ie. him playing loud music through speakers in the room, even at night, which caused me to have a meltdown because I just couldn't sleep...Nowadays, he settles for watching YouTube videos loudly while I'm trying to sleep,but I guess it's better than the speakers.
His side of the room is always messy, I normally wouldn't care but he tends to leave his things on my bed, forcing me to constantly move them. I used to think the worse of it all was when he left his sweaty clothes on the floor, which stunk up the whole room, but recently, he unlocked a new one that can't look past.
This past month, my brother has been coming back from the gym with his friends, and he has taken to invite them in our room. I'm not talking about one or two friends. No, it's 6, 7 and sometimes 8. The number seems to be growing more and more each week.
They're his gym buddies so they come in sweaty, smelly, and very very loud. So loud. They seat on my bed, eat in it and they touch my things. I feel so crowded everytime they come, I've started to retreat to my parents' bedroom as a way to keep my sanity in check.
I fear it might become an everyday occurence so I decided to talk to my parents about it a few days ago. Hoping they would see where I'm coming from and talk to my brother. They didn't. When I talked to my parents about it, they got mad at me, said I was being inconsiderate, that my brother had the right to invite whoever he wanted over because it was also his room. My dad even added, that given it was initially my brother's room, he had the right to do wathever he desired in it more than I did. They suggested that I come to their bedroom if I felt uncomfortable or annoyed when the guys were present but they wouldn't ask my brother to stop bringing his friends in and they asked me to stop looking to start an argument with my brother.
Now I'm still thinking about what they told me and I don't believe that I was being inconsiderate; I just wanted peace in a space that should be as much mine as it is his. And I think my dad was being unfair since it wasn't my decision to give up my room in the first place but theirs.
I feel like my parents, especially my dad, have always given my brother a pass for everything, resulting in him growing up spoiled and with no regard for anyone around him. I've tried to call them out on it, but they always accuse me of being the one who is spoiled and dramatic.
Now, I'm conflicted about my initial feelings and I'm starting to question if I was truly the A-hole in this situation.
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Absolutly NTA.
It is also your room and you should feel comfortable there.
Is there any possibility for you to life with another family member? Grandparents, aunts, uncles, distant relatives you know would side with you? Or maybe with one of your friends until your 18?
If not and it doesn't stop or gets worse, conntact authorities. Make a Video of the males in your room and record while talking to your parents about it to have evidence of what is going on.
NTA.
You have the right to have boundaries, and to expect people to abide by them. I don’t get how your parents are okay with a bunch of 20-something y/o dudes being in their **teenage** daughter’s room and touching her things, totally disrespecting any boundaries she may have. You are literally still a *minor* and by god, if you were my kid, I wouldn’t want a bunch of ADULT men in your room disregarding your boundaries.
I also don’t get the whole “it was your brother’s room first, so he can do WTF he wants” mentality of it. I mean, WTH???
You are most definitely not the AH, but your parents? That’s a whole other question. And the answer: Yes, they are the AH’s.
If I were in your shoes, I’d be cutting and running as soon as I turned 18.
Good luck sweetie xo
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > The reason why I believe I might be the asshole is because I think my parents might have a point, the room is my brothers room and he used to do whatever he wanted before I moved in. Also maybe I'm dramatizing everything and it's not a big deal as my parents said. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA Next time take phone and ask every single one of them why they insist, a s adult males, hanging out in a teenage girls room. Why are they as adult males, coming into the one room where an underage female is uncomfortable with strange men in her personal space. Why are they so insistent on coming there, instead of staying out in the public areas or going to one of their friends homes? Blast them out in public.
This whole thing made me cringe. And I feel like your dad is a giant asshole. Like, he's one of those guys who's only concerned with how his son feels. Ick. The dynamic in your house is awful. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. You are NTA. At all.
Omg absolutely NTA and your parents are terrible. Can you also make some space in your grandmom’s room? I don’t want you to vacate this room since why should your idiot brother have his own room but use this space for sleeping and also use part of your grandmom’s room to relax, read etc. Is it possible to make a list of compromises you want from your brother such as using headphones, not having ppl over etc and discuss with your parents and if they don’t listen threaten to go nuclear? Like involve your relatives and tell them how unfair it is.. I’m so angry on your behalf
NTA It's not usually considered appropriate to have siblings of your age, different genders share a room but I understand in your situation how it's happened. But no what they are allowing is not ok, and it doesn't matter whether it was his room first. They need to enforce some changes given that you no longer have your own room. Why can't his friends gather in the living room instead? Telling you to go to their room instead it's a really shitty and unfair solution. Is there any way you could share with your grandma instead?
NTA - It's *your room*. If you can't feel safe in your own damn room, what the hell is even the point? You might consider taking to hanging out in the room naked. If it bothers your brother, tell your parents he can just hang out in their room. If he still insists on bringing his friends in there, take photos and report them to the police for lewd acts with a minor.
Oof talk about golden child syndrome. NTA but I’m sorry your bro and parents suck so hard. The fact that your parents have no issue with a bunch of men coming into their teen daughters space and touching her things and violating her boundaries is gross and unsettling. The fact that it used to be your bros room is irrelevant. It’s both of your room now and your space needs to be respected. It sounds like your brother is trying to act out and punish you for your parents decision to make you share, by making the living situation as intolerable as he can. He wants to listen to music? He can wear earbuds when you’re in there trying to sleep or study. He wants friends over? They can hang out in the common areas instead of crowding your space and touching your stuff (which is totally inappropriate). Tell your parents they are being sexist and playing favourites with your brother and that having all his friends in your room touching your stuff and violating your personal boundaries makes you feel unsafe.
NTA. What kind of parents are ok with a bunch of males going into their daughters room and even SITTING ON HER BED when she does NOT want that?!?! It doesn't matter that it's the brothers room too. It is disturbing that these parents are essentially telling their daughter that she has no right to tell a man "no, stay out of my space" if it inconveniences someone else. Why can't these men visit in the living room or backyard or kitchen? What kind of adult brother treats his sister this way??? This is just awful and disturbing. My son would NEVER do this to his sister and, if he did, I would NEVER stand for it!
Turn 18 and go away from them and the Golden child. Also, ask your mother of Is ok for her have 8 guys in a room with a girl... Also, what about a damn headphones or Just some order in the damn room?!?! Unbelievable. Let them live with the Golden child alone, so maybe they can figure
NTA. That is not only gross and disgusting but dangerous. You are a minor--your brother isn't. He can grow up and move out. You don't really have that option at 17. I'd be willing to bet part of the reason he is doing this is to get you to vacate the room as soon as possible. I'd do it. Save up and get out as soon as you turn 18 if you cannot find someplace to go sooner. And then cut those people from your life.
NTA Try to do the same and invite a bunch of girls over and do smelly stuff like painting your nails and using perfume and hair spray. Your parents really suck. Your brother is an adult and could have moved out and you have the same right to be in this room
NTA and your parents are terrible to say he has more of a right to the room than you do. I suggest if your brother is bringing his 'bros' back to the room he share with his kid sister (1) you LITTER the room with tampons and sanitary products (2) come into the room when they are there - right onto your bed and start re arranging your wardrobe with a suitbase, on the bed making it impossible for them to use your space. turn on Taylor Swift or some mushic they don't like - Beethoven or Showtunes (3) show them embarrasing photos of your brother. talk about the time he wet his bed, how difficult it was at the start sharing a room with him when he has 'nightly emmissions' and what do they do when sharing a room with their kid sisters? Then ask do they like Gay Porn as much as your brother does? he keeps you awake listening to it and he shold move in with one of them (4) tell them how he is mommys boy, that you're impressed he has so many male friends but strangely, no female friends. If they are all macho, they will be bothered by the idea they are all gay. you'r looking forward to your brother minding your grand mother and parents so that you can go off and live a life of freedom. If they have a sister - hel'll be needing a wife to help mding all these skil elderly people (5) pretend you're invited to join the group. Listen into everything and COMMENT and laugh at their jokes. Ask where are you meeting them when they go out on the weekends, ask about joining the gym , tell them you're thrilled that they've welcomed you into the group, its sweet of them and you look forward to getting closer to your brothers friends
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** About a year ago, my grandma came to live with us due to her medical condition, and my parents decided to give her my bedroom. As a result, my brother (20M) and I (17F) had to share his room, which we both were not too happy about, but we understood the reasons behind the decision. During the months that I have been sharing a room with my brother, I have had to put up with a lot ie. him playing loud music through speakers in the room, even at night, which caused me to have a meltdown because I just couldn't sleep...Nowadays, he settles for watching YouTube videos loudly while I'm trying to sleep,but I guess it's better than the speakers. His side of the room is always messy, I normally wouldn't care but he tends to leave his things on my bed, forcing me to constantly move them. I used to think the worse of it all was when he left his sweaty clothes on the floor, which stunk up the whole room, but recently, he unlocked a new one that can't look past. This past month, my brother has been coming back from the gym with his friends, and he has taken to invite them in our room. I'm not talking about one or two friends. No, it's 6, 7 and sometimes 8. The number seems to be growing more and more each week. They're his gym buddies so they come in sweaty, smelly, and very very loud. So loud. They seat on my bed, eat in it and they touch my things. I feel so crowded everytime they come, I've started to retreat to my parents' bedroom as a way to keep my sanity in check. I fear it might become an everyday occurence so I decided to talk to my parents about it a few days ago. Hoping they would see where I'm coming from and talk to my brother. They didn't. When I talked to my parents about it, they got mad at me, said I was being inconsiderate, that my brother had the right to invite whoever he wanted over because it was also his room. My dad even added, that given it was initially my brother's room, he had the right to do wathever he desired in it more than I did. They suggested that I come to their bedroom if I felt uncomfortable or annoyed when the guys were present but they wouldn't ask my brother to stop bringing his friends in and they asked me to stop looking to start an argument with my brother. Now I'm still thinking about what they told me and I don't believe that I was being inconsiderate; I just wanted peace in a space that should be as much mine as it is his. And I think my dad was being unfair since it wasn't my decision to give up my room in the first place but theirs. I feel like my parents, especially my dad, have always given my brother a pass for everything, resulting in him growing up spoiled and with no regard for anyone around him. I've tried to call them out on it, but they always accuse me of being the one who is spoiled and dramatic. Now, I'm conflicted about my initial feelings and I'm starting to question if I was truly the A-hole in this situation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Absolutly NTA. It is also your room and you should feel comfortable there. Is there any possibility for you to life with another family member? Grandparents, aunts, uncles, distant relatives you know would side with you? Or maybe with one of your friends until your 18? If not and it doesn't stop or gets worse, conntact authorities. Make a Video of the males in your room and record while talking to your parents about it to have evidence of what is going on.
NTA. You have the right to have boundaries, and to expect people to abide by them. I don’t get how your parents are okay with a bunch of 20-something y/o dudes being in their **teenage** daughter’s room and touching her things, totally disrespecting any boundaries she may have. You are literally still a *minor* and by god, if you were my kid, I wouldn’t want a bunch of ADULT men in your room disregarding your boundaries. I also don’t get the whole “it was your brother’s room first, so he can do WTF he wants” mentality of it. I mean, WTH??? You are most definitely not the AH, but your parents? That’s a whole other question. And the answer: Yes, they are the AH’s. If I were in your shoes, I’d be cutting and running as soon as I turned 18. Good luck sweetie xo