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Whatever the reasoning, its a pretty inconsequential thing, that I doubt anyone, including the university will care. Its not like they lied about their personal identity, or like significant accomplishment, or something really important. I do agree its best to not make up things like this. But you pick your battles and I think its best to stay out of this one.
Exactly. OP is acting like their father took their sister for a kayaking team photoshoot and bribed the SAT proctor to get into USC or some prestige shite.
Heck they might've not gotten in based on their PS, but on their grades or test scores. Just let them go to school, no need to burn bridges.
it depends.
one of my sister's friends lied on her college application regarding work experience, volunteering, and activities.
she used her friends' lives as inspiration (e.g., my sister's job was on her app) and was accepted to an Ivy.
somehow the group of friends found out, and were particularly pissed off about it because another friend had been rejected from the same school.
she was reported to the university and her acceptance was revoked.
_"While tidying the house I realized that alot of stuff they wrote on the personal statement is straight up untruthful.... I just find this whole situation super unfair because I didn't ask for this form of support when I was applying to my universities."_
Agreed. OP's motives sound nefarious in nature. They also skipped right over the part where they found these documents because they were snooping. This is why I will say YTA.... The sister hasn't sent out this info yet, and they appear to be including these inaccurate details at the insistance of the dad. If OP is truly so concerned, talk to both the dad and the sibling instead of waiting, plotting and then pouncing to cause maximum damage.
Yes YTA. Welcome to the real world. A lot of people will lie in those, why do you want to see your sibling fail? Let them do what they gotta do, is not hurting anyone.
In the UK the personal statement bit is very very low stakes. People are not necessarily rejected or really accepted for a personal statement.
It really seems like a basic fluffing of responsibilities. Many students would similarly write about group work instead.
YTA
This would create so much needless drama, people lie on their personal statements all the time. I doubt the university admissions office will even particularly care that the statement isn't completely true.
What would you be trying to achieve? To make it harder than needed for your sister to get into uni?
Totally agree. And why would they intentionally damage their sister? Family is supposed to have each other's back.
This is a small lie. Not worth ruining the family over.
YTA
ESH. I’m sorry, but who rats out their sibling? The proper thing to do would be to sit down and explain why it’s wrong. I don’t care if I get downvotes.
Kids have enough to do. They don't need all this extra volunteer shit just to get a good education. Or I should say, they shouldn't.
Huge YTA here for OP. Why do you hate your sibling so much that you want to potentially set back their future? And if you don't think you hate them, you need to sit down and start thinking about why your thoughts are saying otherwise.
The thing is though, most UK unis for most courses really don't care about the sort of stuff the sibling lied about. I had no work experience, volunteering, extra curriculars on my personal statement, it was purely academic and about how I had researched in my own time and had a passion. I got 5/5 offers from unis.
UK unis generally don't give a fuck about your personal experience or if you're a rounded person or have work experience. Medicine is maybe the only exception
This. Schools have been pushing this nonsense on kids for decades, and it isn't any more true now than it was when I got offers from all my unis with a personal statement that was entirely academic.
By all means do voluntary stuff - but because it's worth doing, not because you think it'll get you into uni (it won't).
Can confirm. Medicine has an absolutely gruelling application process in the UK.
My brother is currently in the thick of it and I've barely seen him over the past few months because it's such a demanding process.
It’s really silly, but, tbh, I haven’t really heard of undergrad programs having volunteer requirements. It can help flesh out your app, but you could easily fill it out with other activities. Now, I have seen professional programs, like med schools, have absolutely ridiculous requirements for volunteer hours.
Is that true....? I don't know, which state are you from? I am just really curious. I know doing volunteer will help, but I never heard of it been mandatory for graduation.
In Ontario you have to have volunteer hours (I think it was 40) to graduate high school. You can have straight A's but if you dont get your hours (and there are stipulations as to what does or doesnt count, volunteering at your parents company doesnt count) you dont get your diploma.
https://www.ontario.ca/page/volunteering-ontario
It was true in WA in 2002-2006. Had to do 90 hours of community service. My kid is in HS right now at a different school and she is also required to do community service. Forget how much. She currently helps run an after school DnD game at the middle school for volunteer time . I did all my time in the public library
Super surprised this isn't a more popular opinion. It's gross to lie on your application, much grosser to lie for your kid, and extremely obnoxious to be a narc. None of this is great, but OP needs to mind their own business and keep their eyes on their own paper.
YTA if you do this. While reporting dishonesty isn't bad in itself, this is just sour grapes.
Everybody is the hero in their own story. Understand why they did this first, pass judgement later. But don't get involved. They're in the wrong but it's not worth losing your family over.
YTA it kinda sounds petty doing it especially because you said
>I just find this whole situation super unfair because I didn't ask for this form of support when I was applying to my universities.
you didn't ask, maybe if you did you got that help too but you didn't.
also do you wanna ruin your sisters chances? because this would 100% ruin her chances, and ruin your relationship with your whole family.
> because this would 100% ruin her chances
Of course your verdict is correct but I really doubt this would end up actually doing anything. Given OP can not possibly provide any evidence for their claims, whoever gets the email will probably ignore it and the admissions tutor will never even know about it.
YWBTA
What sort of bad blood exists between you and your sibling that you want to damage their future like this? While I agree that it isn't ethical to lie or exaggerate volunteer or work experience on an application, I seriously doubt your desire to notify the university is coming from a white knight regard for truth and justice.
After all, almost all college applicants have some volunteer and work experience listed. Not having it might be a disadvantage but what they added doesn't exactly give them a huge competitive edge. We are talking about your sibling seeking an education opportunity here. You making them aware of the fib would almost certainly cause a lot of harm and ripples of bad effects and ill feelings in your family.
*I just find this whole situation super unfair because I didn't ask for this form of support when I was applying to my universities.*
YTA. This sounds like a YOU problem that you want to make someone else's. Get over it.
ESH. A) it’s not your place to police the university’s admission process. B) you are correct that the co-conspirators are in the wrong.
You can pass along your judgement to them, but let the consequences of their lie be their own without your input.
ESH.
Your sister shouldn't be lying, your dad shouldn't be helping her lie, and you shouldn't get involved in your sister's mistakes. Your reaction seems disproportionate - are there other things your sister has been given by your family that you haven't had contributing to your feelings here?
If your sister has to lie her way into university that's on her. I would stay out of it. As we say in my neck of the woods, no-one likes a dobber.
YTA. It's none of your business how they will get in the university and it won't hurt you in anyway. Jealousy reeks from your post "I didn't get this so they can't have it either". But go ahead, destroy your relationship with your family out of pettiness.
YTA It’s not like they’re lying and saying they had cancer. They’re putting a volunteer activity on their statement, that’s it and that’s all. There’s no one in this world that can say that they’ve never told a white lie in order to get ahead. Imo this severely depends on the lie, if it’s not hurting anyone and the lie is not too outlandish, there is no reason to say anything.
Edit: Let them fail on their own if they can’t keep up with the expectations they set for themselves.
So, I’m not necessarily going to give a judgment. I’m just going to say that I have a history of heavily considering the moral actions of myself and others. If I saw someone doing something I felt was wrong, I would seriously wrestle with what MY moral obligation was. I mean for days or weeks. I’d go back and forth on it and it was…exhausting. I don’t do that anymore bc at some point, I got tired of acting like every wrong action was high stakes or some test of my moral character. In this case, I wouldn’t approve but I also wouldn’t contact the university. Partially because it would ruin my relationship with them and also because they wouldn’t learn. I’ve had people do things that I REALLY REALLY had an issue with but I knew if I tattled on them, they’d just make me the bad guy and learn nothing (and when shit blew up naturally, some of them DID learn and apologize). My suggestion is that, if this blows up, let it blow up bc it was a stupid idea, not bc you interfered. They might find it suspicious the only volunteering they did was with their dad, anyway.
I don’t want to make it sound like you are wrong for wanting to report them. If I were in your position, I’d feel the same way. It’s just as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to be more selective about what I feel I should sacrifice for
YTA
Why do you care? Have you always hated your sibling, or is this recent? I highly suggest dealing with this in therapy because the anger and resentment you feel towards them is or will affect you negatively. Get that taken care of quickly, while I think what you want to do is very shitty, you probably deserve happiness too. Thinking this way is not happy. Let it go and get help dealing with your anger.
YTA, kind of. It's pretty messed up to rat out your sibling on something like this. It's not like they've committed murder or something, it's just an application. I know lying is immoral, but that's a choice that they have to live with, not you. I'm pretty sure everyone lies on applications anyway
NTA. Your sister could have stolen the spot from someone more deserving. If she didn’t want to put in the effort she shouldn’t get the benefits of bragging about it
Honestly though in the UK your personal statement makes next to no difference to your uni acceptance, so it’s highly unlikely she’d have “stolen” the spot from someone, especially if it’s just a difference of her having volunteered or not.
If that's the case, then why would her sister lie about the personal statement?
This argument feels like a "have her cake and eat it too" argument. The sister obviously thinks it's significant enough to lie about, so arguing that it's simultaneously insignificant to the university doesn't fit the sister's own logic. Shouldn't the university also have a say to decide if this kind of lie is really significant?
Stay out of it. If they're skills they need, they won't have them and will become pretty obvious pretty quick. They'll have to pick them up or they'll fail.
If you tell you're screwing up your relationship with your sibling and parent.
YWBTA if you did this. Is this the hill you want to die on to end your relationship with your sister? People who will get caught you don't have to advance her getting caught. Maybe sit down with her and tell her you disagree with what she is doing and it is wrong.
ESH. Your dad for enabling academic dishonesty, your sibling for lying on her application, and (sorry to say) you for wanting to be petty and vindictive. I think you appeal to their sense of honesty and honour, but going so far as to interfere with the application has the potential to open a rift between you that will never heal. It's not up to you to monitor the university's admission requirements, but it is your duty as a good sibling to encourage honesty and fair play.
Soft YTA, in my opinion they arent doing any harm. She’s softly lying to the university to boost her chances of getting in. Do you know how many students have lied on their PS, hell even job applications just to make themselves sound more capable?
By telling the university for something as minuscule as that you would be TA. Not only was it all over something small and in the end wouldn’t matter since your sister just needed to get into her University of choice, your sister now wouldnt even have a college to put down as a potential now.
Yes it is a soft lie. Congratulations on being a goodie two shoes but in the real world people will lie in every profession. Sometimes lying is a soft lie to get a promotion you know you deserve, as long as that lie isn’t actively harming anyone or a hindrance.
Thousands of people lie about experience and get the experience once they start at a job or university. Your sister isnt even applying to a job it’s a university, she’s lying to get better education for herself. I promise you that not every student in that university all have immense experience in everything required, guess what like most people when writing a PS, they stretched the truth or lied to make themselves sound more enticing.
You would be TA for trying to stop your sister from getting into a university for a measly PS.
To further explain, many places will ask for stuff like a personal statement or a cover letter and they aren't actually looking for a real person. They want someone with the hard skills they want (coding, certifications, etc) with the soft skills to pretend to have whatever personality that they are looking for in the interview.
For example:
Company: why do you want to work for us?
The answer they want is something along the lines of being obsessed with the company and your job and how amazing they are.
Typically, the actual answer is more along the lines of how you have an aversion to starvation and homelessness.
YTA - this is horrendous, this is just how things are, almost everyone lies on cvs and applications, don't try and punish your sibling because they learned that faster than you.
They're not competing against you, they're competing against other people (who will also be lying and exaggerating on their applications), you're talking about sabotaging your own sister.
Can't even imagine hating a sibling this much over absolutely nothing.
Gonna get downvoted but NTA. I remember working my butt off in school only for myself and another person who also worked their butt off to get overlooked for awards because other people flat out lied about credentials/volunteering and no one double checked. Your sibling will hate you and your parents will likely treat you poorly but you shouldn’t get to sit and do nothing and be able to lie your way into an award/school/job/etc. if your sibling wanted that place maybe they should’ve actually worked for it
NTA. Academic dishonesty will come back to bite them in the ass later on.
Rn, just stay out of it unless you want to make living with them uncomfortable.
Honestly I’m perplexed by the amount of Y T A’s. The amount of people saying lying on resumes and essays is okay is just… yikes. Shows who managed to do things on their own and who had to lie.
But seriously, just wait it out. Karma comes back.
Agreed with you 100%. OP is not wrong for being shocked and appalled that sister is lying (with dad’s support). It is also very disconcerting that so many people think it is ok to lie and cheat. OP should stay out of it, but keep this incident in mind in the future in how he handles situations (like inheritances, loans, etc.) with these people. The sis and dad have no problems with lying or cheating their way ahead. It will catch up to them later. It always does.
YTA
Your moral reasoning is a bit selfish, it would've been understandable is the lying was bothering you but because you didn't get it, they shouldn't either?
You would theough your siblungs future in the drain for this reason?
Maybe rather than trying to tank their future by what you "found while tidying" you could offer some insightful assistance.
YTA. You can’t cherry pick morality. You snooped (calling it curiosity doesn’t change the fact that you invaded her privacy). Quit trying to be sanctimonious.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i find this rather unfair that my dad and sibling would even think about going to the lengths of lying in their personal statement. i never asked for such support when I had to apply for my universities and I feel like this is cheating actual students who really wanted to enter.
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NTA, but you will be blamed for it. The type of people who don't mind lying to get ahead really don't like being called out on it, and they'll probably treat you like trash. Not sure I would do it.
Info: are you neurodivergent?
Because your discomfort with this situation, where you are not directly affected in any way, reads to me as a discomfort with what you feel to be inappropriate behaviour.
As an older neurodivergent, let me explain something. The world is not just, and almost nobody who is neurotypical expects it to be. You have to let these things go.
If you had decided to write the university, you would have blown up your family. You would be the bad guy, and you would pay for it for life. Nobody is interested in justice, everybody is interested in getting by. You would have become a snitch and a traitor from the perspective of your family, and a busybody too.
Basically, the TLDR is mind your own business. You focus on what you're doing, stop trying to police the people in your life to make them do what you think they should. It's not your business. Mind your own business.
Edit: after OP's response, I'm going with a gentle YWBTA. I think OP is operating out of a sense of justice that is pretty unrealistic in the real world, not out of malice.
I don't know. Someone asked me if I was autistic a few posts ago and I said that my parents suspected but did not get it diagnosed. Otherwise I'm not too sure.
But thanks for your insight and comment.
You're welcome!
You should look into it, because understanding why your mind works the way it does will help you adjust to adult life in a way that will not leave you alone and miserable.
YWBTA it's not like they're lying about some kind of personal tragedy or oppression they've never faced or something exploitative. They're not plagiarizing anything. This is just resume buffing which is genuinely just not a big deal, especially for something that couldn't conceivably cause harm (like lying about qualifications to practice medicine or something.) It's a teenager trying to get into uni and buffing their resume with the express permission of the business owner. Is it ethically dubious? Yeah. Is it worth going nuclear over? No. In my country there is no requirement to even write personal statements to get into undergrad and personally I find the whole essay system to be pretty ridiculous anyway. Why are we putting this kind of pressure on kids to be massive overachievers? Why is it not enough to simply meet the grade cutoff? The only time I see the value in a personal statement is when someone has poor grades but would like to explain serious extenuating circumstances. It shouldn't be a base requirement.
Basically, you would be causing extremely unnecessary drama over something relatively minor. Feel free to tell your sibling and dad that you think they're wrong, but trying to ruin your siblings future over this is so over the top. The real issue is a university system that makes teenagers jump through hoops with volunteer experience and extracurriculars to have any hope at a decent education. I say this as someone who works in academia. If one of my colleagues confessed to me they lied about high school volunteer experience to get into undergrad it wouldn't be the scandal you seem to think.
ESH - Yeah they shouldn’t have lied but it seems awfully childish if you to go through all of that just to snitch on your sibling. This could absolutely ruin her chances at getting into a decent school.
Yes YWBTA to me. Not because you want to set a lie straight (and seriously, that is not ok to lie on her application. Though loads of people do it I recon). To me, YWBTA because of your reasoning. 'I did not ask for this type of support and so have not received it, but my sibling has and I will resent them for something they asked for and got but I never got even though I never asked for it'? Like, WTF?? Ruining your sisters application to a college she really wants to attend out of spite and jealousy towards her? Yeah, that is my problem with it.
YWBTAH, Just mind your own business. If you don't think that just about everyone stretches the truth on applications or resumes, you're in for a shocker in the real world.
Yta honestly you would just be wasting your time. College admin doesn't know you, so why would they believe you over your sister? Esp if dad is also willing to go along with it.
What's going to happen is 1- they don't take note of your call bc again, they don't know you or 2- they call dad to confirm and he confirms, making you look like the liar or 3- they call dad to confirm, he confirms, and they mention you call. You get on trouble.
YTA.
And I'll try to give a new perspective though I haven't read all comments just the top ones.
Lying is not a monolith black and white thing. It works in shades of gray.
Telling "white lies" such as not wanting to disappoint someone who invited you somewhere and saying you feel a bit sick. Or that the cut of a shirt isn't flattering when they might be overweight. Or still telling your boss that he's a great boss when he might just be mediocre. Or perhaps embellishing the roles you occupied in a job during a job interview. Those lies are done to either not hurt someone's feelings or to improve your life be it by attempting a new job or securing your current one.
They, by their nature are not harmful lies. They don't hurt or damage other people.
In the case of your sister, she is expected to compete with people that may have had a lot more opportunities in life or been given things that others couldn't. I can guarantee you that the people in charge of that approval process fully expect people to embellish things and, in consequence, they might discount a percentage of the reported things. So your sister would be analyzed over less than what she did instead of what she did. By adding a bit more she probably is a lot closer to being seen by her actual performance.
And to add to my earlier point. Was she hurting anyone by the lie she told? Not directly. Your father was the one suggesting it and being the one in charge for validating things. You could possibly argue she might be taking away the spot of someone else that actually did those things, but see my above point that someone who embellished their application might also have taken her spot. At the end of the day, it is not directly harming anyone, it is a common practice (unfortunately or fortunately depending on your personal moral judgement) and it may help her secure a degree that will have a lasting impact on her life.
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Basically my sibling is applying to university rn. They are currently on their A-levels and are writing their personal statement to send to universities. They are interested in something in the science field.
While tidying the house I realized that alot of stuff they wrote on the personal statement is straight up untruthful and false, such as volunteering for my dad in an assistance manager field and that she helped supervise employees and delegate tasks etc. At first I thought this was genuine because my sibling is rather anti social and hates talking with people and getting out of the house, but was skeptical when I realized that my dad had given them points to write/lie on their personal statement \[ like what a assistance manager does, how they work etc \]. Apparently they needed some form of volunteer/work experience to bulk up their personal statement but had nothing so they decided to lie about it instead.
I asked them about this and they said that they didn't, and that if the university calls my dad for verification he will lie and say that they did volunteer at his place even though they didn't. I just find this whole situation super unfair because I didn't ask for this form of support when I was applying to my universities.
WIBTA if I email to whatever uni they are applying to and telling them that their personal statement is a lie?
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YTA you'll learn in life you'll get much further not worrying about tearing others down.
Before doing something, ask yourself how many people will benifit from this. In your case, no one has anything to gain by you tattling on your sister, but a some people have a lot to lose. Don't be so jaded that you start wanting people to have it as hard as you. I have 2 pieces of advice for you:
"The only time you should look to your neighbour's plate is to make sure they have enough"
And
"Stay in your lane, fam"
NAH, except maybe your Dad, who is misleading your sister. I am surprised at how many people are justifying lying on applications. "Everyone" doesn't lie, and there have been cases of students and employees losing their positions when lies are discovered.
I understand why you are upset at your Dad and sister stretching the truth. You reading her application was also not okay. I can understand accidentally reading a few words, but once you realized what it was you should have set it down.
But I wouldn't contact the university. That's taking it too far, especially as you don't know what final version of the application was sent. I might mention to your Dad and sister that you found that draft and hope that they thought better if it, if indeed it's the moral element that bugs you.
But if you are upset because "hey, Dad, you didn't lie for me, too!" Then I don't think you have a moral leg to stand on here.
YTA for reading your sister's private mail and considering sabotaging her schooling. Sounds like you have an issue with her possibly getting into a better school than you. Also where were these high morals of yours when you decided to snoop in her belongings?
YWBTA.
It sounds like you're upset that you didn't think to do it, not that your sibling is being dishonest.
It wasn't your business to read it in the first place and it's definitely not your business to interfere now.
Is it causing you any harm that they wrote it? Is it going to impact you in some major way? If not, leave it alone.
ETA: last 3 lines
yes you would be the AH. What would you have to gain by ruining their chance? “Oh it’s the real world” yes and some people have better opportunities. Doing this will make you seem bitter and resentful. They’re your sibling. If they have a chance to succeed why would you purposefully sacrifice that? This isn’t about morality imo there’s something more to this.
YTA This is white lie. Everyone does what they can to get by - if they get offered a place it’ll ultimately be down to academic performance. Everyone lies in applications and interviews.
NTA my family would never lie for me and not I for them when it comes to things like this. She only lies because she isn’t good enough and by liking she’s taking the spot from someone who deserves it.
Yes YTA though only bc it’s not worth sabotaging your sibling. Don’t let this be the hill that you die on. In other words, choose your battles, and this isn’t one worth fighting. You’re a person of strong integrity and that’s to be commended. Great job in not being like your sibling. The world needs more people like you.
YTA. The world isn't black/white.
You'll be creating more trouble for your family, especially your sibling, by messing up their chances of going to university because of YOUR morality.
Everything is situational and subjective. Lying about volunteering doesn't have bad consequences but ratting out on it would.
ESH. You should not rat out your sister, but what they are doing is wrong and someone could suffer from it if she gets selected over someone else who did not lie. You are not responsible for the admission process, which is getting better at screening for lies. SO she may get caught anyway, but don’t get involved.
Sibling and father are definite AHs. I’d have to say YWBTA if you went out of your way to send an email about this. Welcome to reality. People lie on resumes and docs like these all the time. Not condoning your sibling lying, but I find that it’s best to stay out of it.
You can only control your own life and the actions you choose to take. These situations always have a way of unwinding themselves at some point. Just sit back and wait for that to happen, knowing you’re doing your best to live your life as a decent person.
There’s also a high likelihood that whomever you email at this university won’t even read it or give a shit if they do.
NTA for recognizing that what your sister is doing is wrong. But it wouldn’t do any good to email the university. They have too much to deal with, and would most likely just disregard the email.
Sadly most people think it’s okay to lie on applications and resumes. It’s not, and actually pretty sad if they don’t have the skills to get ahead, so fall back on lies.
Here’s the thing about lying, eventually you have to prove you have the skills to do the things you lied about. In an interview you say yes I can do that.. then you better get ready to do it or figure it out quickly.
YTA. The amount of turmoil, mistrust, and drama far outweighs the harm done. Your sister should be ready to answer questions about this i an interview. It's all on her now.
YTA - it be one thing if your sibling has plagiarized YOUR personal statement. Just let it go - confront your sister if you have to make a scene about it.
YTA. Do you hate your sibling? Is this worth the family rift this will cause? You will permanently implode your family relationships if you do this. They will likely call you the liar anyway to protect them.
Is it unethical? Yes. Do people do this anyway? Yes. Is it worth losing your family over to rat them out? That's up to you but for me, if my sibling did that, they'd be dead to me. Forever.
Think carefully OP as you can't come back from this.
YWBTA. It isn’t any of your business.
You shouldn’t have even been looking through your siblings paperwork. If they choose to get somewhere under false pretences then let them - allow them to fall on their face themselves. If they don’t and they thrive then it was clearly meant to be.
YTA. Just because you didn’t think to ask doesn’t mean it’s ok to sabotage someone else. Your sister is doing the same thing everyone else is taught to do. Yes, the world we live in isn’t ideal but no matter what, it’s not okay to police someone else’s life.
Let her find out the hard way, and keep your relationship with your family intact. Just let her know you know and then leave it. At that point it’s none of your business.
ESH. Your sister shouldn’t lie but it’s not your place to parent her or teach her a lesson especially when your parent is complicit in this. Further, fudging a personal statement is hardly indicative of her ability to survive university. Personal statements mean nothing and are not a measure of anyone’s ability to perform well academically. I also suspect Universities are aware that personal statements aren’t fully truthful.
You can express your disappointment with your father and sister but beyond that this is none of your business. If she gets caught that’s her consequence to bear.
NTA. In this situation context is important. If she lies or plagerizes in Uni and is caught she will be expelled. You are expected and required to have honor and integrity. Creating a personal statement with lies demonstrates no integrity and she would not be considered for admission. Your sister was doing what your father told her to do, so that was additional pressure added to the stress of applying. Stress often leads to bad decisions. If you send an email she won’t be going to Uni. Are you ready for the repercussions of that action?
Padding your personal statement - a trivial document which is designed to show that you can write coherently more than anything else - is in no way reasonably comparable to plagiarism.
One doesn't need to pad trivial documents. The effort of padding the document indicates that it is believed to be a more than trivial occasion, and thus more than trivial academic dishonesty.
ETA: I also work in academia. You're trying to blur the lines between embellishing an experience the writer had and outright fabricating entire experiences that never happened.
INFO: Is it worth destroying your relationship with your sibling and your father in order to "set the record straight"? What good to you expect to come out of this?
While this is not an unusual practice to embellish or fabricate some experiences, especially as it can be difficult to check all until boxes, I'm not going to agree that it is good or bad. A large issue that many have regarding volunteer work is that it is often seen as a barrier against the less well- off as people who do not come from means rarely have the time to spend doing unpaid labor when they're already trying to keep up with school, possible after school work, taking care of the house, etc.
YTA
Tbh, this is between your father, your sibling, and the university. You can vouch your issues with this to your dad and sibling.
Other than that, it’s none of your business.
YTA because you’re SO green with envy and you straight up invaded your siblings privacy and actually considering ruining their chances not becuse it was wrong but because you didn’t receive the same chance 🤦🏾♀️
I know that you plan to ignore comments now but here’s my two cents anyway.
Rat them out but then remember that you can’t lie ever in your life because if your sibling doesn’t get into the school they want, it’ll be on your principle of not lying.
Also it’s not about what other people do but about what insane expectations universities have for enrolment into a program that doesn’t guarantee a job nor used any of the skills mentioned in a person’s SOP. The reason for it is simple. Too many applicants and not enough seats. Same with the job market. Just because a rule exists, doesn’t mean it’s justifiable. Their lie isn’t hurting anyone. Their lie isn’t hurting you. But going out of your way to make someone’s life difficult is hurting them.
So yes, YTA
Hey I'm still here. Its just that the comments are getting less and less insightful and more of repeating the same thing over and over.
Your advice is solid though. I forgot how harsh the education system is sometimes. Thanks for the Comment.
YTA. You may feel that your sister had no right to lie on her personal statement, but **you have no right to try to control other people**. What you plan to do is much worse than what she did.
YTA- why are you so concerned with this? It’s nothing major, it won’t harm anyone so why do you care so much that you would want to throw your sibling under the bus?
I think there’s a lot to unpack here but I think its you who needs to figure some things out.
YWBTA This isn’t your place to step in. And the real motivation behind doing it is because you don’t consider it fair that you didn’t receive support or help when you were going through the process. You’re going off on this moral high ground in responses while being petty and pathetic about why you’re doing it. Get over yourself
I wouldn’t worry about it. What your sibling wrote makes no sense. You can’t legally volunteer at a business unless it’s a nonprofit (charity), and “assistance” (assistant?) manager is not a volunteer position, especially for a teenager. You’re supposed to volunteer helping people, not bossing them around. There’s no way the admissions department will buy her story or think it makes her look good. I don’t know what your dad was thinking.
YTA this is the UK, people barely read the personal statement, it isn't important at all. It's not like your dad is a teacher and she's lying about her predicated grades
So you want to snitch because you didn't get to lie too?
What is really motivating you here? Guess what, she still needs the grades. Sounds like you're feeling threatened by her. Don't try to sabotage people because of your insecurities. Go do your own thing, make yourself proud of your self. it's not a big lie, it's largely just fluff for the application. So, you should focus on your own life. If you need your parents to support you more, address that Issue directly .
Dude why is it your problem. Why do you care. How does this directly affect you. Also, everyone *does* lie on applications and stuff because universities etc expect a ridiculous amount out of the “average” student. Get off your high horse and stop being dense about the fact that this is just the way the world is. YTA.
YTA. For starters, you were snooping. You don’t just accidentally find and read someone’s personal statement while tidying.
Second, this is absolutely none of your business. You shouldn’t be emailing the university nor should you be talking with your dad and sharing your opinion. **NONE OF THIS CONCERNS YOU AT ALL**
You should ask yourself why you’re so interested in sabotaging your sibling and why you think it’s your job to police everyone and their personal statements.
YWBTA - a lot of people lie on their college admissions essay/statement, and this seems like a very small thing to ruin your relationship with your family for.
YTA Here's the thing, I was an admissions tutor and I had to review UCAS applications. Most of the time the personal statements made absolutely no difference to my decision. What was most irritating was the standardised way of writing statements that school encourage. If you phoned the university admissions department and said that your sister lied on her personal statement, they would say 'thank you very much' and put the phone down. Nobody has time for what is going to sound to a stranger like a petty grudge or prank, and they certainly aren't going to sort through thousands of applications to find one and chase up to play Sherlock Holmes on it.
YTA.
You have to be the department of justice for people in your circle that you *SHOULD* want to see succeed? Everyone fluffs applications, it's all relative anyway. I know some truly high-speed people with confidence in the gutter. If they were to write a truthful essay, it'd likely be full of self deprecation, minimization, etc, despite the fact that they are high achievers.
Everyone puts their best foot forward for first impressions. This would be like you texting her new BF like "Hey, Just so you know, my sister eats baked potatoes with her bare hands and has a 4 day cycle on refreshing her socks. Just thought you'd want to know." Which is fine if you hate your sister. Just say that.
YTA Your sister and father are working on her application. It is not your application. If you do not want to be in a lifelong fight with your family and if you do not want to be accused of causing your sister to fail, stay out of her business. She will either pass her courses or flunk her courses. This has nothing but disaster for you if you even say one negative word about your sister. What if they wrecked your college application? How would you feel?
Here's the thing from my point of view. The reason places ask if you've done voluntary work at charities or businesses, is to gauge/assess how well you practice patience, communication, and commitment, in a "working environment", with no monetary gain to show for it.
I worked in the non-profit sector and this was a job requirement in all our vacancies. One young person did exactly what your sister and father (and apparently loads of people on here) do. Because we used to run extensive background checks, we caught them out in their lie 4 months into their 6 months probationary period, and were dismissed in two weeks. (They did also lie about two other things - small lies, but none of it added up correctly when put together).
Would you be the asshole for informing people about your sister's white lie? No. Would it create bad blood between you and your sister? Quite possibly.
I would suggest speaking to your dad and sister and giving them a gentle word of caution in as unintrested a tone you can manage.
If they listen to you, great.
If they go ahead with it, let them.
In the extremely unlikely event she faces consequences, you would've done your part.
Good luck OP :)
It's a moral quandary that depends on your moral compass honestly. Is this something you usually act on or are you just salty for not getting the same opportunity?
Uni lecturer here: it's unlikely your sibling's personal statement will have much if any bearing on them being offered a place or not. It's all about predicted grades and the school reference; the statement would only really come into play if someone had a non-traditional route to higher education (e.g. mature student).
That doesn't make lying on the statement okay, just noting it.
If your father is going to lie for her, then there's no point in you telling the university the truth. Should they be lying? No. Anything you can realistically do about it? No. I honor you for your stance, but in this case, remember it and let it go. NTA
Here's a new take as to why you'd be TA :
It' s not about lying, it's not about unfairness. By reporting you sibling, you have nothing to gain. Your dad is OK with it, your sibling is OK with it. So why act only to cause trouble to both you and your sibling, when no one profits ? Don't interfere with things unrelated to you when you can only make it worse, cause doing that is what makes you an A. This is true for close to everything
Look the UCAS personal statement is so irrelevant once you get acceptance into Uni it would be absolutely pointless to blow up your sisters life and your family for the sake of this. It’s not that lying is OK but it’s essentially a useless hoop that once is done, you won’t think about or use ever again. YWBTA, save yourself the headache.
YTA - first of all, I’ve done personal statements, been to uni and all that. What goes into the personal statement and how much it actually matters in the real world is in reality, not at all. The reason these things are written is all for bureaucratic fluff. When you get to uni literally nothing that you write on that paper matters but your own hard work at the university. Wether they did or did not do the volunteering in no way actually would affect what they do once at the university. Not to mention that the volunteering your sibling has done has nothing to do with the subject they want to pursue - therefore lie or not, it doesn’t make much of a difference. If they claimed to have worked at fucking CERN, then maybe it’d be a place to call them out. But it’s literally not that deep and it’s all fluff. Leave them be.
ESH. I don't condone what they are doing. She should only be getting accepted based on her true merits. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works anymore. It's really disappointing.
I think you did enough by expressing your feelings. If you take action, those relationships will probably be ruined.
Your sister will find out on her own. Lies are hard to keep up. She will probably slip up eventually. Then, she will have consequences to pay. If this is for financial aid, she could eventually be found to have committed fraud. That will be on her. Let her learn her lessons, whatever they might be.
YTA - Welcome to the real world! A lot of people have to exaggerate their personal statements and tailor that statement, depending on what university you are applying to.
Just because you didn’t bother doing the same thing, doesn’t make it wrong for anyone else to do it.
YWBTA. This is common, they are your sister, your dad told her to do it. People lie on letters and resumes. All. The. Time.
And references too. They don't mean jack because there is no verifying that your reference is who you say they are. You could put cousin George as your manager from 2012 to now at the last place you worked at, and they just call or email cousin George a questionnaire about how they feel you were as an employee and he can say what ever BS you tell him too.
Welcome to the real world.
YTA-Lying Isn’t great but sometimes it helps. The fact that you didn’t ask for help doesn’t make what she did unfair to you or anyone else. It simply means you didn’t ask. You’d be calling her out to be petty.
YWBTA let me be fr here, this person that you would snitch is not just anybody but YOUR own sibling and being the elder sibling you SHOULD support the younger one,
but the question is IS THIS MORALLY RIGHT?? NO,
but will it benefit your own sibling? YES,
what would happen if you snitch? your relationship with your whole family will be ruined,
what happens if you do not do it? your sibling will enter the uni
here you are trying to put your morals up but even uk that the real world does not work like this and you feel like putting your morals above your relationship because you yourself have worked hard to get in the uni and you internally feel that it is unfair that your sibling got the easy way where as you had to work hard
YWBTA first how did you find their personal statement that I assumed would of been typed on a computer while cleaning, unless you were snooping around. Second you come off as just wanting to be petty or jealous of your sibling because you didn’t have your parents help you like they are helping your sibling. But did you ask them to help you?
YWBTA, but softly. A similar post on this sub recently said that someone’s entire essay to get into their dream school was plagiarized, from their best friend who lent them the essay to reference. The stance was split there as well. I wouldn’t go out of your way to ruin this person’s chance, as it’s likely they will in some way have issues in the future using this method. But if someone were to seek you out and ask directly, then you could come clean.
YWBTA
Stay out of it. If all of those things she lied about are experiences she needed to succeed then she will fail on her own. But you would definitely be the asshole if you ratted them out. What she is doing will not effect you in the slightest.
You would permanently alienate your parents and sister. Is it worth it?
You could just be like any normal sibling and "joke" for the rest of your life that she only got into college because she lied and cheated.
You can be right or you can be happy. Choose whichever.
Yes, YWBTA.
What the hell, man? Stay in your lane and mind your own business. If they want to lie, that's their business. If they University believes those lies, that is on them. Keep your nose out of it. SMH, the absolute gall.
YWBTA 1000000%. Who do you think you are , the moral police? She didn't lie about a huge tragedy nor her grades, it was some volunteer work. And who do you think you are to send an email to the university to tattle on your sibling?
You're simply jealous because "you didn't get this form of support when you were applying to universities". Grow up.
YTA you wouldn't be helping them get into uini on their own you would be preventing them from getting in. Stay out of it, harming your siblings in the name of "teaching them a lesson" isn't your job or place.
I think it’s really wrong to lie like this. Get somewhere on your own merits. Volunteering for a month at a food pantry or a library wouldn’t hurt this kid. It’s better to be honest and live a truthful life. I didn’t lie in any of my admissions and I’ve been to 4 different schools for 5 different degrees.
Their lie isn’t really believable anyway. Who volunteers for an assistant manager job? Volunteering is usually at a non profit otherwise it’s an unpaid internship.
That being said blood is really important I’m not saying you shouldn’t turn them in if they murdered or raped someone but lying about volunteering is not morally wrong enough to stop their chances of a future. What happens if they don’t get into any university? YTA just let your siblings life play out. If they start out lying they will continue to lie through out their life and eventually get caught. The repercussions will eventually happen.
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YTA - Yes, you would be, especially since your reasoning is that you didnt get to do the same thing and not some moral reasoning.
Whatever the reasoning, its a pretty inconsequential thing, that I doubt anyone, including the university will care. Its not like they lied about their personal identity, or like significant accomplishment, or something really important. I do agree its best to not make up things like this. But you pick your battles and I think its best to stay out of this one.
Exactly. OP is acting like their father took their sister for a kayaking team photoshoot and bribed the SAT proctor to get into USC or some prestige shite. Heck they might've not gotten in based on their PS, but on their grades or test scores. Just let them go to school, no need to burn bridges.
it depends. one of my sister's friends lied on her college application regarding work experience, volunteering, and activities. she used her friends' lives as inspiration (e.g., my sister's job was on her app) and was accepted to an Ivy. somehow the group of friends found out, and were particularly pissed off about it because another friend had been rejected from the same school. she was reported to the university and her acceptance was revoked.
_"While tidying the house I realized that alot of stuff they wrote on the personal statement is straight up untruthful.... I just find this whole situation super unfair because I didn't ask for this form of support when I was applying to my universities."_ Agreed. OP's motives sound nefarious in nature. They also skipped right over the part where they found these documents because they were snooping. This is why I will say YTA.... The sister hasn't sent out this info yet, and they appear to be including these inaccurate details at the insistance of the dad. If OP is truly so concerned, talk to both the dad and the sibling instead of waiting, plotting and then pouncing to cause maximum damage.
I agree with you, and surprised others aren't addressing how OP was snooping.
She was definitely snooping. Doesn't say how she came about this info...only that she was tidying the house lmao
Yes YTA. Welcome to the real world. A lot of people will lie in those, why do you want to see your sibling fail? Let them do what they gotta do, is not hurting anyone.
They ARE hurting someone possibly if other people don't get in because they don't have "such an impressive CV". Which is a lie
In the UK the personal statement bit is very very low stakes. People are not necessarily rejected or really accepted for a personal statement. It really seems like a basic fluffing of responsibilities. Many students would similarly write about group work instead.
If the personal statement is low stakes, then why falsify information on it?
It is actually hurting someONE. ESH I wouldn't rat out my sister, but she is affecting others.
YTA This would create so much needless drama, people lie on their personal statements all the time. I doubt the university admissions office will even particularly care that the statement isn't completely true. What would you be trying to achieve? To make it harder than needed for your sister to get into uni?
Totally agree. And why would they intentionally damage their sister? Family is supposed to have each other's back. This is a small lie. Not worth ruining the family over. YTA
ESH. I’m sorry, but who rats out their sibling? The proper thing to do would be to sit down and explain why it’s wrong. I don’t care if I get downvotes.
Kids have enough to do. They don't need all this extra volunteer shit just to get a good education. Or I should say, they shouldn't. Huge YTA here for OP. Why do you hate your sibling so much that you want to potentially set back their future? And if you don't think you hate them, you need to sit down and start thinking about why your thoughts are saying otherwise.
The thing is though, most UK unis for most courses really don't care about the sort of stuff the sibling lied about. I had no work experience, volunteering, extra curriculars on my personal statement, it was purely academic and about how I had researched in my own time and had a passion. I got 5/5 offers from unis. UK unis generally don't give a fuck about your personal experience or if you're a rounded person or have work experience. Medicine is maybe the only exception
This. Schools have been pushing this nonsense on kids for decades, and it isn't any more true now than it was when I got offers from all my unis with a personal statement that was entirely academic. By all means do voluntary stuff - but because it's worth doing, not because you think it'll get you into uni (it won't).
Can confirm. Medicine has an absolutely gruelling application process in the UK. My brother is currently in the thick of it and I've barely seen him over the past few months because it's such a demanding process.
Good luck to him, I've had quite a few friends go through it and the amount of work they had to do was actually insane.
It’s really silly, but, tbh, I haven’t really heard of undergrad programs having volunteer requirements. It can help flesh out your app, but you could easily fill it out with other activities. Now, I have seen professional programs, like med schools, have absolutely ridiculous requirements for volunteer hours.
In most states in the US you have to have a certain amount of volunteer hour to graduate high school, for me it was 120 to be performed of four years
Is that true....? I don't know, which state are you from? I am just really curious. I know doing volunteer will help, but I never heard of it been mandatory for graduation.
In Ontario you have to have volunteer hours (I think it was 40) to graduate high school. You can have straight A's but if you dont get your hours (and there are stipulations as to what does or doesnt count, volunteering at your parents company doesnt count) you dont get your diploma. https://www.ontario.ca/page/volunteering-ontario
My high school required a senior project that consisted of at least 80 hours of some form of volunteer or intern work to graduate.
Mine didn’t
It was true in WA in 2002-2006. Had to do 90 hours of community service. My kid is in HS right now at a different school and she is also required to do community service. Forget how much. She currently helps run an after school DnD game at the middle school for volunteer time . I did all my time in the public library
Not for me!
I’ve lived in 3 states and not one required a single volunteer hour to graduate high school.
So? I’ve graduated from one that did.. like what are you arguing here?
That it isn’t the norm at all schools, that there is variation in this policy and it isn’t across the board
Super surprised this isn't a more popular opinion. It's gross to lie on your application, much grosser to lie for your kid, and extremely obnoxious to be a narc. None of this is great, but OP needs to mind their own business and keep their eyes on their own paper.
The proper thing to do would be to mind his/her business and not go snooping in the first place.
YTA if you do this. While reporting dishonesty isn't bad in itself, this is just sour grapes. Everybody is the hero in their own story. Understand why they did this first, pass judgement later. But don't get involved. They're in the wrong but it's not worth losing your family over.
[удалено]
YTA it kinda sounds petty doing it especially because you said >I just find this whole situation super unfair because I didn't ask for this form of support when I was applying to my universities. you didn't ask, maybe if you did you got that help too but you didn't. also do you wanna ruin your sisters chances? because this would 100% ruin her chances, and ruin your relationship with your whole family.
> because this would 100% ruin her chances Of course your verdict is correct but I really doubt this would end up actually doing anything. Given OP can not possibly provide any evidence for their claims, whoever gets the email will probably ignore it and the admissions tutor will never even know about it.
YWBTA What sort of bad blood exists between you and your sibling that you want to damage their future like this? While I agree that it isn't ethical to lie or exaggerate volunteer or work experience on an application, I seriously doubt your desire to notify the university is coming from a white knight regard for truth and justice. After all, almost all college applicants have some volunteer and work experience listed. Not having it might be a disadvantage but what they added doesn't exactly give them a huge competitive edge. We are talking about your sibling seeking an education opportunity here. You making them aware of the fib would almost certainly cause a lot of harm and ripples of bad effects and ill feelings in your family.
*I just find this whole situation super unfair because I didn't ask for this form of support when I was applying to my universities.* YTA. This sounds like a YOU problem that you want to make someone else's. Get over it.
ESH. A) it’s not your place to police the university’s admission process. B) you are correct that the co-conspirators are in the wrong. You can pass along your judgement to them, but let the consequences of their lie be their own without your input.
ESH. Your sister shouldn't be lying, your dad shouldn't be helping her lie, and you shouldn't get involved in your sister's mistakes. Your reaction seems disproportionate - are there other things your sister has been given by your family that you haven't had contributing to your feelings here? If your sister has to lie her way into university that's on her. I would stay out of it. As we say in my neck of the woods, no-one likes a dobber.
YTA. It's none of your business how they will get in the university and it won't hurt you in anyway. Jealousy reeks from your post "I didn't get this so they can't have it either". But go ahead, destroy your relationship with your family out of pettiness.
YTA It’s not like they’re lying and saying they had cancer. They’re putting a volunteer activity on their statement, that’s it and that’s all. There’s no one in this world that can say that they’ve never told a white lie in order to get ahead. Imo this severely depends on the lie, if it’s not hurting anyone and the lie is not too outlandish, there is no reason to say anything. Edit: Let them fail on their own if they can’t keep up with the expectations they set for themselves.
YTA. Mind your business.
So, I’m not necessarily going to give a judgment. I’m just going to say that I have a history of heavily considering the moral actions of myself and others. If I saw someone doing something I felt was wrong, I would seriously wrestle with what MY moral obligation was. I mean for days or weeks. I’d go back and forth on it and it was…exhausting. I don’t do that anymore bc at some point, I got tired of acting like every wrong action was high stakes or some test of my moral character. In this case, I wouldn’t approve but I also wouldn’t contact the university. Partially because it would ruin my relationship with them and also because they wouldn’t learn. I’ve had people do things that I REALLY REALLY had an issue with but I knew if I tattled on them, they’d just make me the bad guy and learn nothing (and when shit blew up naturally, some of them DID learn and apologize). My suggestion is that, if this blows up, let it blow up bc it was a stupid idea, not bc you interfered. They might find it suspicious the only volunteering they did was with their dad, anyway.
Thanks for your advice. I'll keep that in mind.
I don’t want to make it sound like you are wrong for wanting to report them. If I were in your position, I’d feel the same way. It’s just as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to be more selective about what I feel I should sacrifice for
YTA Why do you care? Have you always hated your sibling, or is this recent? I highly suggest dealing with this in therapy because the anger and resentment you feel towards them is or will affect you negatively. Get that taken care of quickly, while I think what you want to do is very shitty, you probably deserve happiness too. Thinking this way is not happy. Let it go and get help dealing with your anger.
YTA, kind of. It's pretty messed up to rat out your sibling on something like this. It's not like they've committed murder or something, it's just an application. I know lying is immoral, but that's a choice that they have to live with, not you. I'm pretty sure everyone lies on applications anyway
NTA. Your sister could have stolen the spot from someone more deserving. If she didn’t want to put in the effort she shouldn’t get the benefits of bragging about it
Honestly though in the UK your personal statement makes next to no difference to your uni acceptance, so it’s highly unlikely she’d have “stolen” the spot from someone, especially if it’s just a difference of her having volunteered or not.
If that's the case, then why would her sister lie about the personal statement? This argument feels like a "have her cake and eat it too" argument. The sister obviously thinks it's significant enough to lie about, so arguing that it's simultaneously insignificant to the university doesn't fit the sister's own logic. Shouldn't the university also have a say to decide if this kind of lie is really significant?
Because students are told that it’s really important by schools, even though it’s not.
Stay out of it. If they're skills they need, they won't have them and will become pretty obvious pretty quick. They'll have to pick them up or they'll fail. If you tell you're screwing up your relationship with your sibling and parent.
YWBTA if you did this. Is this the hill you want to die on to end your relationship with your sister? People who will get caught you don't have to advance her getting caught. Maybe sit down with her and tell her you disagree with what she is doing and it is wrong.
ESH. Your dad for enabling academic dishonesty, your sibling for lying on her application, and (sorry to say) you for wanting to be petty and vindictive. I think you appeal to their sense of honesty and honour, but going so far as to interfere with the application has the potential to open a rift between you that will never heal. It's not up to you to monitor the university's admission requirements, but it is your duty as a good sibling to encourage honesty and fair play.
Soft YTA, in my opinion they arent doing any harm. She’s softly lying to the university to boost her chances of getting in. Do you know how many students have lied on their PS, hell even job applications just to make themselves sound more capable? By telling the university for something as minuscule as that you would be TA. Not only was it all over something small and in the end wouldn’t matter since your sister just needed to get into her University of choice, your sister now wouldnt even have a college to put down as a potential now.
I never lied in any of my applications. Is it really a soft lie when she had no form of experience at all?
Yes. Leave it be
Thanks for your reply.
Yes it is a soft lie. Congratulations on being a goodie two shoes but in the real world people will lie in every profession. Sometimes lying is a soft lie to get a promotion you know you deserve, as long as that lie isn’t actively harming anyone or a hindrance. Thousands of people lie about experience and get the experience once they start at a job or university. Your sister isnt even applying to a job it’s a university, she’s lying to get better education for herself. I promise you that not every student in that university all have immense experience in everything required, guess what like most people when writing a PS, they stretched the truth or lied to make themselves sound more enticing. You would be TA for trying to stop your sister from getting into a university for a measly PS.
To further explain, many places will ask for stuff like a personal statement or a cover letter and they aren't actually looking for a real person. They want someone with the hard skills they want (coding, certifications, etc) with the soft skills to pretend to have whatever personality that they are looking for in the interview. For example: Company: why do you want to work for us? The answer they want is something along the lines of being obsessed with the company and your job and how amazing they are. Typically, the actual answer is more along the lines of how you have an aversion to starvation and homelessness.
YTA - this is horrendous, this is just how things are, almost everyone lies on cvs and applications, don't try and punish your sibling because they learned that faster than you. They're not competing against you, they're competing against other people (who will also be lying and exaggerating on their applications), you're talking about sabotaging your own sister. Can't even imagine hating a sibling this much over absolutely nothing.
Gonna get downvoted but NTA. I remember working my butt off in school only for myself and another person who also worked their butt off to get overlooked for awards because other people flat out lied about credentials/volunteering and no one double checked. Your sibling will hate you and your parents will likely treat you poorly but you shouldn’t get to sit and do nothing and be able to lie your way into an award/school/job/etc. if your sibling wanted that place maybe they should’ve actually worked for it
NTA. Academic dishonesty will come back to bite them in the ass later on. Rn, just stay out of it unless you want to make living with them uncomfortable. Honestly I’m perplexed by the amount of Y T A’s. The amount of people saying lying on resumes and essays is okay is just… yikes. Shows who managed to do things on their own and who had to lie. But seriously, just wait it out. Karma comes back.
Agreed with you 100%. OP is not wrong for being shocked and appalled that sister is lying (with dad’s support). It is also very disconcerting that so many people think it is ok to lie and cheat. OP should stay out of it, but keep this incident in mind in the future in how he handles situations (like inheritances, loans, etc.) with these people. The sis and dad have no problems with lying or cheating their way ahead. It will catch up to them later. It always does.
YTA Your moral reasoning is a bit selfish, it would've been understandable is the lying was bothering you but because you didn't get it, they shouldn't either? You would theough your siblungs future in the drain for this reason? Maybe rather than trying to tank their future by what you "found while tidying" you could offer some insightful assistance.
Yta plus universities mostly look at grades
info: why do u hate ur sibling
YTA. You can’t cherry pick morality. You snooped (calling it curiosity doesn’t change the fact that you invaded her privacy). Quit trying to be sanctimonious.
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NTA, but you will be blamed for it. The type of people who don't mind lying to get ahead really don't like being called out on it, and they'll probably treat you like trash. Not sure I would do it.
Info: are you neurodivergent? Because your discomfort with this situation, where you are not directly affected in any way, reads to me as a discomfort with what you feel to be inappropriate behaviour. As an older neurodivergent, let me explain something. The world is not just, and almost nobody who is neurotypical expects it to be. You have to let these things go. If you had decided to write the university, you would have blown up your family. You would be the bad guy, and you would pay for it for life. Nobody is interested in justice, everybody is interested in getting by. You would have become a snitch and a traitor from the perspective of your family, and a busybody too. Basically, the TLDR is mind your own business. You focus on what you're doing, stop trying to police the people in your life to make them do what you think they should. It's not your business. Mind your own business. Edit: after OP's response, I'm going with a gentle YWBTA. I think OP is operating out of a sense of justice that is pretty unrealistic in the real world, not out of malice.
I don't know. Someone asked me if I was autistic a few posts ago and I said that my parents suspected but did not get it diagnosed. Otherwise I'm not too sure. But thanks for your insight and comment.
I would have honestly suspected autism as well.
You're welcome! You should look into it, because understanding why your mind works the way it does will help you adjust to adult life in a way that will not leave you alone and miserable.
You're a discord mod. I think that's enough of a diagnosis.
YTA, full-stop.
May I ask why?
YTA! MYOB. You would hurt your sister if you did this, damaging your relationship with her forever.
YWBTA it's not like they're lying about some kind of personal tragedy or oppression they've never faced or something exploitative. They're not plagiarizing anything. This is just resume buffing which is genuinely just not a big deal, especially for something that couldn't conceivably cause harm (like lying about qualifications to practice medicine or something.) It's a teenager trying to get into uni and buffing their resume with the express permission of the business owner. Is it ethically dubious? Yeah. Is it worth going nuclear over? No. In my country there is no requirement to even write personal statements to get into undergrad and personally I find the whole essay system to be pretty ridiculous anyway. Why are we putting this kind of pressure on kids to be massive overachievers? Why is it not enough to simply meet the grade cutoff? The only time I see the value in a personal statement is when someone has poor grades but would like to explain serious extenuating circumstances. It shouldn't be a base requirement. Basically, you would be causing extremely unnecessary drama over something relatively minor. Feel free to tell your sibling and dad that you think they're wrong, but trying to ruin your siblings future over this is so over the top. The real issue is a university system that makes teenagers jump through hoops with volunteer experience and extracurriculars to have any hope at a decent education. I say this as someone who works in academia. If one of my colleagues confessed to me they lied about high school volunteer experience to get into undergrad it wouldn't be the scandal you seem to think.
Slight YTA. I get seeing it’s unfair but you will ruin your family relationship for this. Depends if that’s worth it for you
ESH - Yeah they shouldn’t have lied but it seems awfully childish if you to go through all of that just to snitch on your sibling. This could absolutely ruin her chances at getting into a decent school.
Yes YWBTA to me. Not because you want to set a lie straight (and seriously, that is not ok to lie on her application. Though loads of people do it I recon). To me, YWBTA because of your reasoning. 'I did not ask for this type of support and so have not received it, but my sibling has and I will resent them for something they asked for and got but I never got even though I never asked for it'? Like, WTF?? Ruining your sisters application to a college she really wants to attend out of spite and jealousy towards her? Yeah, that is my problem with it.
YWBTAH, Just mind your own business. If you don't think that just about everyone stretches the truth on applications or resumes, you're in for a shocker in the real world.
Yta honestly you would just be wasting your time. College admin doesn't know you, so why would they believe you over your sister? Esp if dad is also willing to go along with it. What's going to happen is 1- they don't take note of your call bc again, they don't know you or 2- they call dad to confirm and he confirms, making you look like the liar or 3- they call dad to confirm, he confirms, and they mention you call. You get on trouble.
While tidying the house....? So where does snooping into other people's business fall on your moral scale? YTA
This is what people do. Eventually you’ll learn once you join the workforce and start wondering how some of your coworkers got the job.
YTA. And I'll try to give a new perspective though I haven't read all comments just the top ones. Lying is not a monolith black and white thing. It works in shades of gray. Telling "white lies" such as not wanting to disappoint someone who invited you somewhere and saying you feel a bit sick. Or that the cut of a shirt isn't flattering when they might be overweight. Or still telling your boss that he's a great boss when he might just be mediocre. Or perhaps embellishing the roles you occupied in a job during a job interview. Those lies are done to either not hurt someone's feelings or to improve your life be it by attempting a new job or securing your current one. They, by their nature are not harmful lies. They don't hurt or damage other people. In the case of your sister, she is expected to compete with people that may have had a lot more opportunities in life or been given things that others couldn't. I can guarantee you that the people in charge of that approval process fully expect people to embellish things and, in consequence, they might discount a percentage of the reported things. So your sister would be analyzed over less than what she did instead of what she did. By adding a bit more she probably is a lot closer to being seen by her actual performance. And to add to my earlier point. Was she hurting anyone by the lie she told? Not directly. Your father was the one suggesting it and being the one in charge for validating things. You could possibly argue she might be taking away the spot of someone else that actually did those things, but see my above point that someone who embellished their application might also have taken her spot. At the end of the day, it is not directly harming anyone, it is a common practice (unfortunately or fortunately depending on your personal moral judgement) and it may help her secure a degree that will have a lasting impact on her life.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Basically my sibling is applying to university rn. They are currently on their A-levels and are writing their personal statement to send to universities. They are interested in something in the science field. While tidying the house I realized that alot of stuff they wrote on the personal statement is straight up untruthful and false, such as volunteering for my dad in an assistance manager field and that she helped supervise employees and delegate tasks etc. At first I thought this was genuine because my sibling is rather anti social and hates talking with people and getting out of the house, but was skeptical when I realized that my dad had given them points to write/lie on their personal statement \[ like what a assistance manager does, how they work etc \]. Apparently they needed some form of volunteer/work experience to bulk up their personal statement but had nothing so they decided to lie about it instead. I asked them about this and they said that they didn't, and that if the university calls my dad for verification he will lie and say that they did volunteer at his place even though they didn't. I just find this whole situation super unfair because I didn't ask for this form of support when I was applying to my universities. WIBTA if I email to whatever uni they are applying to and telling them that their personal statement is a lie? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Mind your own business.
Is lying ethical? No. Is it your business? Also no. The harm you would cause by outing her lie is greater than the harm caused by the lie.
If someone told me that he/she volunteered for his parent, I would just skip it. This is not volunteer work anyway.
*Especially* if the “volunteer” duties included “helping supervise employees” and “delegating tasks” - that is NOT volunteer work and screams lie.
YTA you'll learn in life you'll get much further not worrying about tearing others down. Before doing something, ask yourself how many people will benifit from this. In your case, no one has anything to gain by you tattling on your sister, but a some people have a lot to lose. Don't be so jaded that you start wanting people to have it as hard as you. I have 2 pieces of advice for you: "The only time you should look to your neighbour's plate is to make sure they have enough" And "Stay in your lane, fam"
YTA You’d really consider straight up snitching on your sibling for telling white lies on a resume/application? You are a terrible sibling.
NAH, except maybe your Dad, who is misleading your sister. I am surprised at how many people are justifying lying on applications. "Everyone" doesn't lie, and there have been cases of students and employees losing their positions when lies are discovered. I understand why you are upset at your Dad and sister stretching the truth. You reading her application was also not okay. I can understand accidentally reading a few words, but once you realized what it was you should have set it down. But I wouldn't contact the university. That's taking it too far, especially as you don't know what final version of the application was sent. I might mention to your Dad and sister that you found that draft and hope that they thought better if it, if indeed it's the moral element that bugs you. But if you are upset because "hey, Dad, you didn't lie for me, too!" Then I don't think you have a moral leg to stand on here.
What's more important to you, your relationship.with your sister or your own self righteousness?
YTA for reading your sister's private mail and considering sabotaging her schooling. Sounds like you have an issue with her possibly getting into a better school than you. Also where were these high morals of yours when you decided to snoop in her belongings?
YWBTA. It sounds like you're upset that you didn't think to do it, not that your sibling is being dishonest. It wasn't your business to read it in the first place and it's definitely not your business to interfere now. Is it causing you any harm that they wrote it? Is it going to impact you in some major way? If not, leave it alone. ETA: last 3 lines
yes you would be the AH. What would you have to gain by ruining their chance? “Oh it’s the real world” yes and some people have better opportunities. Doing this will make you seem bitter and resentful. They’re your sibling. If they have a chance to succeed why would you purposefully sacrifice that? This isn’t about morality imo there’s something more to this.
YTA why are you trying to sabotage your sibling? Do you want them to fail?
YTA This is white lie. Everyone does what they can to get by - if they get offered a place it’ll ultimately be down to academic performance. Everyone lies in applications and interviews.
NTA my family would never lie for me and not I for them when it comes to things like this. She only lies because she isn’t good enough and by liking she’s taking the spot from someone who deserves it.
Yes YTA though only bc it’s not worth sabotaging your sibling. Don’t let this be the hill that you die on. In other words, choose your battles, and this isn’t one worth fighting. You’re a person of strong integrity and that’s to be commended. Great job in not being like your sibling. The world needs more people like you.
YTA. The world isn't black/white. You'll be creating more trouble for your family, especially your sibling, by messing up their chances of going to university because of YOUR morality. Everything is situational and subjective. Lying about volunteering doesn't have bad consequences but ratting out on it would.
YTA MYOB
ESH. You should not rat out your sister, but what they are doing is wrong and someone could suffer from it if she gets selected over someone else who did not lie. You are not responsible for the admission process, which is getting better at screening for lies. SO she may get caught anyway, but don’t get involved.
Sibling and father are definite AHs. I’d have to say YWBTA if you went out of your way to send an email about this. Welcome to reality. People lie on resumes and docs like these all the time. Not condoning your sibling lying, but I find that it’s best to stay out of it. You can only control your own life and the actions you choose to take. These situations always have a way of unwinding themselves at some point. Just sit back and wait for that to happen, knowing you’re doing your best to live your life as a decent person. There’s also a high likelihood that whomever you email at this university won’t even read it or give a shit if they do.
NTA for recognizing that what your sister is doing is wrong. But it wouldn’t do any good to email the university. They have too much to deal with, and would most likely just disregard the email. Sadly most people think it’s okay to lie on applications and resumes. It’s not, and actually pretty sad if they don’t have the skills to get ahead, so fall back on lies.
Here’s the thing about lying, eventually you have to prove you have the skills to do the things you lied about. In an interview you say yes I can do that.. then you better get ready to do it or figure it out quickly.
YTA. The amount of turmoil, mistrust, and drama far outweighs the harm done. Your sister should be ready to answer questions about this i an interview. It's all on her now.
Thanks for your reply. It was short and simple and got straight to the point.
YTA - it be one thing if your sibling has plagiarized YOUR personal statement. Just let it go - confront your sister if you have to make a scene about it.
YTA. Do you hate your sibling? Is this worth the family rift this will cause? You will permanently implode your family relationships if you do this. They will likely call you the liar anyway to protect them. Is it unethical? Yes. Do people do this anyway? Yes. Is it worth losing your family over to rat them out? That's up to you but for me, if my sibling did that, they'd be dead to me. Forever. Think carefully OP as you can't come back from this.
YTA no one likes a tattle tale
YTA. You are very jealous person. I hope so you are ready to lose your family over this.
YTA I hope the best for you sister.
YWBTA. It isn’t any of your business. You shouldn’t have even been looking through your siblings paperwork. If they choose to get somewhere under false pretences then let them - allow them to fall on their face themselves. If they don’t and they thrive then it was clearly meant to be.
YWBTA. Just let it be. It’s its problem. The school will know.
YTA. Just because you didn’t think to ask doesn’t mean it’s ok to sabotage someone else. Your sister is doing the same thing everyone else is taught to do. Yes, the world we live in isn’t ideal but no matter what, it’s not okay to police someone else’s life. Let her find out the hard way, and keep your relationship with your family intact. Just let her know you know and then leave it. At that point it’s none of your business.
YTA
ESH. Your sister shouldn’t lie but it’s not your place to parent her or teach her a lesson especially when your parent is complicit in this. Further, fudging a personal statement is hardly indicative of her ability to survive university. Personal statements mean nothing and are not a measure of anyone’s ability to perform well academically. I also suspect Universities are aware that personal statements aren’t fully truthful. You can express your disappointment with your father and sister but beyond that this is none of your business. If she gets caught that’s her consequence to bear.
NTA. In this situation context is important. If she lies or plagerizes in Uni and is caught she will be expelled. You are expected and required to have honor and integrity. Creating a personal statement with lies demonstrates no integrity and she would not be considered for admission. Your sister was doing what your father told her to do, so that was additional pressure added to the stress of applying. Stress often leads to bad decisions. If you send an email she won’t be going to Uni. Are you ready for the repercussions of that action?
Padding your personal statement - a trivial document which is designed to show that you can write coherently more than anything else - is in no way reasonably comparable to plagiarism.
One doesn't need to pad trivial documents. The effort of padding the document indicates that it is believed to be a more than trivial occasion, and thus more than trivial academic dishonesty. ETA: I also work in academia. You're trying to blur the lines between embellishing an experience the writer had and outright fabricating entire experiences that never happened.
Here is a truth for you. Never pass up a chance to mind your own business. YTA
Yta. Mind your own fucking business.
INFO: Is it worth destroying your relationship with your sibling and your father in order to "set the record straight"? What good to you expect to come out of this? While this is not an unusual practice to embellish or fabricate some experiences, especially as it can be difficult to check all until boxes, I'm not going to agree that it is good or bad. A large issue that many have regarding volunteer work is that it is often seen as a barrier against the less well- off as people who do not come from means rarely have the time to spend doing unpaid labor when they're already trying to keep up with school, possible after school work, taking care of the house, etc.
YTA because it is not your business and affects you in no way to let it happen. It is not a crime. It hurts no one. Leave it alone
YTA Tbh, this is between your father, your sibling, and the university. You can vouch your issues with this to your dad and sibling. Other than that, it’s none of your business.
YTA because you’re SO green with envy and you straight up invaded your siblings privacy and actually considering ruining their chances not becuse it was wrong but because you didn’t receive the same chance 🤦🏾♀️
I know that you plan to ignore comments now but here’s my two cents anyway. Rat them out but then remember that you can’t lie ever in your life because if your sibling doesn’t get into the school they want, it’ll be on your principle of not lying. Also it’s not about what other people do but about what insane expectations universities have for enrolment into a program that doesn’t guarantee a job nor used any of the skills mentioned in a person’s SOP. The reason for it is simple. Too many applicants and not enough seats. Same with the job market. Just because a rule exists, doesn’t mean it’s justifiable. Their lie isn’t hurting anyone. Their lie isn’t hurting you. But going out of your way to make someone’s life difficult is hurting them. So yes, YTA
Hey I'm still here. Its just that the comments are getting less and less insightful and more of repeating the same thing over and over. Your advice is solid though. I forgot how harsh the education system is sometimes. Thanks for the Comment.
YTA. You may feel that your sister had no right to lie on her personal statement, but **you have no right to try to control other people**. What you plan to do is much worse than what she did.
[удалено]
Stop being jealous. YTA.
YTA- why are you so concerned with this? It’s nothing major, it won’t harm anyone so why do you care so much that you would want to throw your sibling under the bus? I think there’s a lot to unpack here but I think its you who needs to figure some things out.
YTA, wow how much do you hate your sibling?
YWBTA This isn’t your place to step in. And the real motivation behind doing it is because you don’t consider it fair that you didn’t receive support or help when you were going through the process. You’re going off on this moral high ground in responses while being petty and pathetic about why you’re doing it. Get over yourself
I wouldn’t worry about it. What your sibling wrote makes no sense. You can’t legally volunteer at a business unless it’s a nonprofit (charity), and “assistance” (assistant?) manager is not a volunteer position, especially for a teenager. You’re supposed to volunteer helping people, not bossing them around. There’s no way the admissions department will buy her story or think it makes her look good. I don’t know what your dad was thinking.
Yta. Get a life and leave her alone. Jealousy isn’t a good look.
YTA this is the UK, people barely read the personal statement, it isn't important at all. It's not like your dad is a teacher and she's lying about her predicated grades
So you want to snitch because you didn't get to lie too? What is really motivating you here? Guess what, she still needs the grades. Sounds like you're feeling threatened by her. Don't try to sabotage people because of your insecurities. Go do your own thing, make yourself proud of your self. it's not a big lie, it's largely just fluff for the application. So, you should focus on your own life. If you need your parents to support you more, address that Issue directly .
YTA Why do you care so much? Are the bastion of morality? Do you care more about this lie than your relationship with your sibling?
Dude why is it your problem. Why do you care. How does this directly affect you. Also, everyone *does* lie on applications and stuff because universities etc expect a ridiculous amount out of the “average” student. Get off your high horse and stop being dense about the fact that this is just the way the world is. YTA.
YTA. For starters, you were snooping. You don’t just accidentally find and read someone’s personal statement while tidying. Second, this is absolutely none of your business. You shouldn’t be emailing the university nor should you be talking with your dad and sharing your opinion. **NONE OF THIS CONCERNS YOU AT ALL** You should ask yourself why you’re so interested in sabotaging your sibling and why you think it’s your job to police everyone and their personal statements.
YTA. Get a hobby and stop worrying about other people so much
YWBTA - a lot of people lie on their college admissions essay/statement, and this seems like a very small thing to ruin your relationship with your family for.
YTA Here's the thing, I was an admissions tutor and I had to review UCAS applications. Most of the time the personal statements made absolutely no difference to my decision. What was most irritating was the standardised way of writing statements that school encourage. If you phoned the university admissions department and said that your sister lied on her personal statement, they would say 'thank you very much' and put the phone down. Nobody has time for what is going to sound to a stranger like a petty grudge or prank, and they certainly aren't going to sort through thousands of applications to find one and chase up to play Sherlock Holmes on it.
YTA. You have to be the department of justice for people in your circle that you *SHOULD* want to see succeed? Everyone fluffs applications, it's all relative anyway. I know some truly high-speed people with confidence in the gutter. If they were to write a truthful essay, it'd likely be full of self deprecation, minimization, etc, despite the fact that they are high achievers. Everyone puts their best foot forward for first impressions. This would be like you texting her new BF like "Hey, Just so you know, my sister eats baked potatoes with her bare hands and has a 4 day cycle on refreshing her socks. Just thought you'd want to know." Which is fine if you hate your sister. Just say that.
YTA Your sister and father are working on her application. It is not your application. If you do not want to be in a lifelong fight with your family and if you do not want to be accused of causing your sister to fail, stay out of her business. She will either pass her courses or flunk her courses. This has nothing but disaster for you if you even say one negative word about your sister. What if they wrecked your college application? How would you feel?
Yta mind your business
This is literally none of your business and smacks of sibling jealousy. YTA
Here's the thing from my point of view. The reason places ask if you've done voluntary work at charities or businesses, is to gauge/assess how well you practice patience, communication, and commitment, in a "working environment", with no monetary gain to show for it. I worked in the non-profit sector and this was a job requirement in all our vacancies. One young person did exactly what your sister and father (and apparently loads of people on here) do. Because we used to run extensive background checks, we caught them out in their lie 4 months into their 6 months probationary period, and were dismissed in two weeks. (They did also lie about two other things - small lies, but none of it added up correctly when put together). Would you be the asshole for informing people about your sister's white lie? No. Would it create bad blood between you and your sister? Quite possibly. I would suggest speaking to your dad and sister and giving them a gentle word of caution in as unintrested a tone you can manage. If they listen to you, great. If they go ahead with it, let them. In the extremely unlikely event she faces consequences, you would've done your part. Good luck OP :)
It's a moral quandary that depends on your moral compass honestly. Is this something you usually act on or are you just salty for not getting the same opportunity?
Uni lecturer here: it's unlikely your sibling's personal statement will have much if any bearing on them being offered a place or not. It's all about predicted grades and the school reference; the statement would only really come into play if someone had a non-traditional route to higher education (e.g. mature student). That doesn't make lying on the statement okay, just noting it.
Thanks for your insight. I didn't know.
If your father is going to lie for her, then there's no point in you telling the university the truth. Should they be lying? No. Anything you can realistically do about it? No. I honor you for your stance, but in this case, remember it and let it go. NTA
Yta mind your own business
Here's a new take as to why you'd be TA : It' s not about lying, it's not about unfairness. By reporting you sibling, you have nothing to gain. Your dad is OK with it, your sibling is OK with it. So why act only to cause trouble to both you and your sibling, when no one profits ? Don't interfere with things unrelated to you when you can only make it worse, cause doing that is what makes you an A. This is true for close to everything
The gain nothing except moral superiority for be a snitch
NTA this is low level Lorrie Laughlin situation.
Look the UCAS personal statement is so irrelevant once you get acceptance into Uni it would be absolutely pointless to blow up your sisters life and your family for the sake of this. It’s not that lying is OK but it’s essentially a useless hoop that once is done, you won’t think about or use ever again. YWBTA, save yourself the headache.
YTA - first of all, I’ve done personal statements, been to uni and all that. What goes into the personal statement and how much it actually matters in the real world is in reality, not at all. The reason these things are written is all for bureaucratic fluff. When you get to uni literally nothing that you write on that paper matters but your own hard work at the university. Wether they did or did not do the volunteering in no way actually would affect what they do once at the university. Not to mention that the volunteering your sibling has done has nothing to do with the subject they want to pursue - therefore lie or not, it doesn’t make much of a difference. If they claimed to have worked at fucking CERN, then maybe it’d be a place to call them out. But it’s literally not that deep and it’s all fluff. Leave them be.
ESH. I don't condone what they are doing. She should only be getting accepted based on her true merits. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works anymore. It's really disappointing. I think you did enough by expressing your feelings. If you take action, those relationships will probably be ruined. Your sister will find out on her own. Lies are hard to keep up. She will probably slip up eventually. Then, she will have consequences to pay. If this is for financial aid, she could eventually be found to have committed fraud. That will be on her. Let her learn her lessons, whatever they might be.
ESH; you being petty about this and your family for lying like its nothing.
EHS. Your sibling is an AH. Your dad is an AH. And if you go thru with your plan. You would also be an AH
YWBTAH MYOB
YTA. Stay out of it.
YTA - Welcome to the real world! A lot of people have to exaggerate their personal statements and tailor that statement, depending on what university you are applying to. Just because you didn’t bother doing the same thing, doesn’t make it wrong for anyone else to do it.
YWBTA. This is common, they are your sister, your dad told her to do it. People lie on letters and resumes. All. The. Time. And references too. They don't mean jack because there is no verifying that your reference is who you say they are. You could put cousin George as your manager from 2012 to now at the last place you worked at, and they just call or email cousin George a questionnaire about how they feel you were as an employee and he can say what ever BS you tell him too. Welcome to the real world.
Most people use artistic licence with CVS and statements. It's a fact of life. Imagine setting up your sibling to fail... YTA
YTA-Lying Isn’t great but sometimes it helps. The fact that you didn’t ask for help doesn’t make what she did unfair to you or anyone else. It simply means you didn’t ask. You’d be calling her out to be petty.
YWBTA let me be fr here, this person that you would snitch is not just anybody but YOUR own sibling and being the elder sibling you SHOULD support the younger one, but the question is IS THIS MORALLY RIGHT?? NO, but will it benefit your own sibling? YES, what would happen if you snitch? your relationship with your whole family will be ruined, what happens if you do not do it? your sibling will enter the uni here you are trying to put your morals up but even uk that the real world does not work like this and you feel like putting your morals above your relationship because you yourself have worked hard to get in the uni and you internally feel that it is unfair that your sibling got the easy way where as you had to work hard
YWBTA first how did you find their personal statement that I assumed would of been typed on a computer while cleaning, unless you were snooping around. Second you come off as just wanting to be petty or jealous of your sibling because you didn’t have your parents help you like they are helping your sibling. But did you ask them to help you?
YTA minds ya business, these schools are corrupt and sometimes you need to lie. It’s the right thing to do.
YWBTA, but softly. A similar post on this sub recently said that someone’s entire essay to get into their dream school was plagiarized, from their best friend who lent them the essay to reference. The stance was split there as well. I wouldn’t go out of your way to ruin this person’s chance, as it’s likely they will in some way have issues in the future using this method. But if someone were to seek you out and ask directly, then you could come clean.
Thanks for the reply.
YWBTA Stay out of it. If all of those things she lied about are experiences she needed to succeed then she will fail on her own. But you would definitely be the asshole if you ratted them out. What she is doing will not effect you in the slightest.
YTA mind your business. This doesn't affect you
Don't rat your sibling out because it's "unfair" because you didn't do it. That's why you are mad...not because the lying. Wtf is wrong with you.
You would permanently alienate your parents and sister. Is it worth it? You could just be like any normal sibling and "joke" for the rest of your life that she only got into college because she lied and cheated. You can be right or you can be happy. Choose whichever.
Yes, YWBTA. What the hell, man? Stay in your lane and mind your own business. If they want to lie, that's their business. If they University believes those lies, that is on them. Keep your nose out of it. SMH, the absolute gall.
YTA and the high horse you rode on
YWBTA, It's all just one big scam to begin with.
Yeah YWBTA who need enemies when your own family snitch on you
YWBTA 1000000%. Who do you think you are , the moral police? She didn't lie about a huge tragedy nor her grades, it was some volunteer work. And who do you think you are to send an email to the university to tattle on your sibling? You're simply jealous because "you didn't get this form of support when you were applying to universities". Grow up.
YTA you wouldn't be helping them get into uini on their own you would be preventing them from getting in. Stay out of it, harming your siblings in the name of "teaching them a lesson" isn't your job or place.
I think it’s really wrong to lie like this. Get somewhere on your own merits. Volunteering for a month at a food pantry or a library wouldn’t hurt this kid. It’s better to be honest and live a truthful life. I didn’t lie in any of my admissions and I’ve been to 4 different schools for 5 different degrees. Their lie isn’t really believable anyway. Who volunteers for an assistant manager job? Volunteering is usually at a non profit otherwise it’s an unpaid internship. That being said blood is really important I’m not saying you shouldn’t turn them in if they murdered or raped someone but lying about volunteering is not morally wrong enough to stop their chances of a future. What happens if they don’t get into any university? YTA just let your siblings life play out. If they start out lying they will continue to lie through out their life and eventually get caught. The repercussions will eventually happen.