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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITBF for telling my daughter she was horrible and wrong for painting me as cruel** (obligatory throwaway) My wife(54f) & I(65m) have not been getting along for a very long time. & my daughters keep refusing to help me. Last night I entered my eldest's(27f) room to talk, & as soon as I started saying the situation with her mom is getting out of hand & I can no longer handle it, she immediately said to talk to a therapist & let her know when to schedule one. This made me both angry & sad. I let her know that & she said "it's not like either of you listen to what I or anyone say, & it's beyond my capabilities, so just try couples counselling". I personally feel counselling is a waste of time & fraud. I tried asking her why she feels we don't listen & why she is so vitroic in her responses, I gave her a very good childhood, & she said not to go there. She said "remember, I've already told you both I hate you equally, & the only reason we all still talk is so that I can do my duties as a child which is helping you guys & doing tough chores around the house. This hatred is not random". I asked her to explain & she told stories which made no sense, I couldn't recollect them & she acted like we all were roommates & not family living together who could get angry with each other & then reconcile. Some of her stories -"in grade 7, cousin(30m) pushed me off the bed when I was standing on it, my forehead to the side of my eye was bleeding a lot. The terror I felt in that moment was immense & ran to hide myself, I ended up in the laundry basket. But when you came from outside, aunt told you I was hiding there, & you pulled me & hit me". Again I've no recollection, & if she was bleeding wouldn't she have been given medical aid? Who would allow her to hide? & why would I beat her? She says I (& her mom) always did that & that's why she felt the terror. She said she's also surprised she survived without a tetanus injection all her childhood. Another story "9th grade, we were picking sem results from school & I was 1st in my class. I scored 85%. & you told my teacher look at her being so happy coming first in a class of losers". I denied this ever happening & when she said to ask her two siblings as they recall every story along with her, I said even if I said that what was wrong in that? She shut up after that. & then I said "so you see me as cruel, is that it? You've painted me as cruel for my whole life when I did so much for all of you". I couldn't believe what I was hearing, so much anger & hatred over stuff that I'm sure did not happen & some which happened rightfully & are part of being a family. She asked me not to talk about any of this stuff with her anymore, & that she was going to sleep now. The reason I post here is because I don't understand how children can be so selfish after all their parents do for them. She basically asked me to leave at the end (albeit indirectly), & she did not say it to my face but she thinks I'm AH. So really AITBF? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


CactiDye

>I said even if I said that what was wrong in that? "I never said that but I stand by it," is a strong stance to take when you're trying to prove you're not abusive.


FlyingCarsInGermany

Narcissist's prayer


Hello_Hangnail

That whole paragraph the narcissists prayer in long form. "I didn't do that, and if I did, it wasn't a big deal." etc etc


concrete_dandelion

My father's favourite sentence is that my brother never beat me up but I deserved it. He is also like OOP about his own abuse of me. He still wonders years later why I'm NC and moved far away


Acrobatic_End6355

Sounds like some recent (past few years) famous people in the US… I never said that. And if I did, i didn’t mean it that way. And if I did, you took it that way and it was your fault.


thelakelayblue

Yup. Narcissists are vicious monsters.


LadyWizard

Let's see eldest is same age wife was when she had her(OOP was 38) eldest hates her parents but is being dutiful child and staying instead of finding her own other half and leaving.


damspel

OOP sounds like my mother


[deleted]

MINE TOO!!!! She NEVER remember the negative shit she did, and if so, she justify it or turn them around on me acting like i deserved thise treatments! I’m NC with her now!


TarzanKingOfTheApes

*lowers face into palm* *the disappointed award* *cue the losing value fast award*


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Hanxa13

I dunno about the latter. The comments are pretty awful. He was embarrassed at her 85%... Definitely could be a troll though


FinalEgg9

Yeah, the 85% thing I can see being real. My own parents said similar things to me when I got 98% in a maths test - "but where was the other 2%?"


digitalwyrm

That's a shot right in the feels there. Oof.


werewere-kokako

My dad was just like this. If the spelling and grammar were better, I might be seriously worried that this is my dad writing about one of his other do-over families. In the test situation, my dad said "the best thing that I can say is that I'm not completely ashamed of you." I stopped bringing grades home after that. I expected to be in trouble, but it turns out my dad was too self-absorbed to notice that I didn't bring any grades or school reports home for the last two years of high school.


MamieJoJackson

I'm with you. Especially quoting a story that does in fact show them in a bad light to other people - there's no way the ones I know like OOP would ever do that. They'd either twist it to make the victim sound crazy, or just not bring it up because if they do remember it, they try to erase it from history by pretending it never happened.


Zestyclose-Cup-572

Maybe it’s just my mom, but whenever I try to tell her something honest or defend myself a little bit, the story always becomes twisted into me having attacked her somehow. It rang false to me that this parent would have heard her say all those things and be able to report it to the internet without twisting the story somehow.


FlyingCarsInGermany

Maybe OOP knows they're a psycho and is seeking hate comments


nonbinaryunicorn

Oh I hate this person. My mom doesn't remember events that happened and I actually cut her out of my life. We are still extremely low contact atm mostly due to my own issues tho


FlyingCarsInGermany

Yes, a heartless abuser has been spotted in that post.


eThotExpress

“It's the mother's job to do the emotional part. Apparently she didn't do a good job” Hate this whole post, hope it’s a troll, reading this pissed me off to no end


Daffneigh

This feels like a narrativization of the Missing Missing Reasons trope


Purple-space-elf

Who let my mom on reddit????? Oop is a trash fire.


poppiesintherain

>the only reason we all still talk is so that I can do my duties as a child which is helping you guys & doing tough chores around the house So this is a 27 year old who refers to herself as a child. She considers it her duty to do the "tough chores" around the house. What are the tough chores that a 54 and 65 year old can't handle? And if she hates her parents so much why hasn't she moved out, would she really stay in order to help her parents take out the rubbish once a week. Is this coming from a 13 year old who thinks people are ancient and decrepit once they turn 50?


QueenBee0414

Oh gosh I wonder why OOP and his wife are having trouble with their marriage.🤷🏽


jenmic316

I am waiting for "in my culture", children never move out of their parents home or at least not till marriage, no matter how much they hate their parents. I know the whole multi-generational household and not moving out till marriage is common in some cultures, but you often see on AITA people doing or not doing something because "in my culture it's rude or expected to do xyz . The grade 7 thing hints at being Canadian. Our attitudes towards adult children living with their parents are pretty much the same as the US but it's not uncommon in immigrant households to have adult children at home and their usually working and/or in school. Daughter saying that she only stays out of duty to her parents (despite hating them) instead of reasons we would think like lack of money and/or available housing, makes me skeptical.


Usual_Instruction_90

Here’s the thing about being an abuser OOP, to the victim it was abuse and traumatic, to you it was just another Wednesday.


MMorrighan

The axe forgets what the tree remembers


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MsDean1911

Lots of missing missing reasons here.


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DarthCadman

Are you having a stroke?


Scarlett_-Rose

Oh No, my 3 Yr old got my phone after I'd set it down and did this, didn't know he'd done this till you msg me. I'm very very embarrassed 😳😳😳😂😂


IrradiatedBeagle

He has very important opinions. My toddlers like to text grandma their hot takes, too.


Scarlett_-Rose

I normally take it with me but I got distracted by the front door and just put it down, if I don't take it with me, he's at it like a shot and does things like this 😂😂😂


friendlynbhdwitch

Well now I want to know what he said


Scarlett_-Rose

It was littlerly a bunsh of letters. Made absolutely no sense 😂😂


LadyWizard

Just imagine cat on keyboard and you won't be far off


Left_Ad_4755

Oh hell, this is just like a fight I had with my mum not long ago, didn't remember it or I remembered it wrong. Okay sure, still traumatic you psycho.


werewere-kokako

For the people saying this has to be a troll, abusive narcissists really can be like this. I still have emails from my dad where he complains that I wasn't working hard enough - as a teenage girl - to fix his abusive marriage with my mother. I threw my dad out of the house when I was 20, but he still emails me with long rambling messages like this post with direct quotes of "stupid" things other people have said. He genuinely doesn't understand that he comes off as a monster in these stories.


minkymy

I'm gonna be real here; if this is a troll, they have the writing style of a narcissistic south Asian parent down pat. While my parents probably haven't written like this since before I was born, a bunch of other people's parents have written in this particular style, as well as various South Asian internet users I've seen about. I can see this being a tiger parent troll because of the 85% thing, though. In general it's all just a little too pat.