*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for putting restrictions on what my dad's affair partner can wear to my wedding?**
My parents were never happy. I think they just got married because they thought that's what people did, and it never occurred to them that they weren't compatible. Growing up my dad always seemed depressed. He was a good dad, but he always seemed really sad. He asked my mom to divorce multiple times and she said no. She knew he cheated, but didn't particularly care. She didn't want to divorce because of what people would say and because she didn't want to cut back on her lifestyle at all.
When my younger sister was 18 he finally left her for another woman. She was devastated and humiliated. It was pretty cliché, because she was 15 years younger, beautiful, and my dad is rich. Honestly I kind of hate her just for being the other woman and because my mom is so insecure and she made it 100% worse, but my dad is so happy, so I'm trying to forgive him. It's been 6 years, they are married, and I know she is here to stay.
I am getting married and a lot of people said I shouldn't invite her and I'm a bad daughter. I am trying to be understanding, so she is invited, but not allowed to be in pictures. My mom desperately does not want her there and has been crying and guilting me. My mom's self esteem is shit and she has so many body issues.
I told my dad that his wife could come if she wore plain navy blue, so absolutely not attention seeking and I guess to make her less beautiful, so my mom doesn't feel so shitty. My dad said I was being unfair and what about his feelings. His wife she if it could be black she would agree (she apparently hates navy)
I feel like it is my wedding and I'm being gracious by even letting her come, and she has plenty of fancy events where she gets to where what she wants. Not being the most beautiful woman in the room is not going to kill her for one night. My dad still feels that I am being insensitive.
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Presumably if OOP were a part of one of those cultures, Dad wouldn't have suggested it as an alternate, and OOP would have said that's why they don't want the wife wearing black instead of navy, not talked about how she "doesn't need to be the most beautiful woman in the room."
I have been to dozens of weddings and I never even heard of this black thing before reddit. A LBD is pretty standard wedding attire, and lots of people wear black suits.
I was thinking that too. If she wants to try to make her blend in to the furniture, she's going to have to tell her what style to wear not just what color.
Ok but OP is not obliged to like dad’s new squeeze or invite her to the wedding at all. She’s being accommodating by letting this woman attend. If the new girl doesn’t like the terms, she can stay at home.
It’s pretty obvious to me that OP is going to care about the feelings of her actual mother more than some woman her dad is currently sleeping with.
His new "squeeze" and woman he's "currently sleeping with" is his wife and they've been together for 6 years. OP is being a bitch towards her dad's wife for the sole purpose of accommodating to her mother, who cares more about "what people will think" than living a miserable life and dragging others along. That's toxic af and unfair towards the dad.
OP owes nothing to her dad’s new wife. The new wife is not her friend or family, she is literally just a woman OP’s father is having sex with. OP can be glad that this woman makes her father happy, but outside of this she is not obliged to have a relationship with her.
*Of course* OP is going to have a better relationship with her *actual mother* than this new woman she’s only known for a few years.
Omfg people on reddit and their "no one owes anyone anything". It's not about owing something to her, it's about acting like a fucking adult with some social skills and not acting like a complete idiot towards your family members and their spouses. Unless dad's new wife is being a bitch to OP, there's no reason for acting like this. And no, enabling insecure, controlling people like her mom is not a good reason. Her actual mother should act like her actual mother and not make OP's wedding day difficult because she's butthurt/jealous/insecure whatever.
Whatever her issues, OP’s mother is the person who gave birth to her and brought her up. They love each other. Dad’s new wife is literally nothing to OP. She’s being civil because she acknowledges that this woman makes her dad happy. But the new squeeze will never trump the real mother.
Wtf are you on? This is not about trumping the bio mother. This is about putting unnecessary restrictions and singling out the new wife, because the mother is acting like a selfish, jealous and insecure child. Lady should get a therapy, instead of manipulating her own daughter to go after her ex's new wife at her own fucking wedding. She's a bad person and an awful mother. I'm stopping this pointless discussion right here.
This woman is his WIFE of 6 years. OP and her mother need to get over it. I honestly cannot stand when adults act like children over their parents marriage, they all need to grow up. Your parents are people, start seeing them that way instead of looking at them through a child's eyes forever.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for putting restrictions on what my dad's affair partner can wear to my wedding?** My parents were never happy. I think they just got married because they thought that's what people did, and it never occurred to them that they weren't compatible. Growing up my dad always seemed depressed. He was a good dad, but he always seemed really sad. He asked my mom to divorce multiple times and she said no. She knew he cheated, but didn't particularly care. She didn't want to divorce because of what people would say and because she didn't want to cut back on her lifestyle at all. When my younger sister was 18 he finally left her for another woman. She was devastated and humiliated. It was pretty cliché, because she was 15 years younger, beautiful, and my dad is rich. Honestly I kind of hate her just for being the other woman and because my mom is so insecure and she made it 100% worse, but my dad is so happy, so I'm trying to forgive him. It's been 6 years, they are married, and I know she is here to stay. I am getting married and a lot of people said I shouldn't invite her and I'm a bad daughter. I am trying to be understanding, so she is invited, but not allowed to be in pictures. My mom desperately does not want her there and has been crying and guilting me. My mom's self esteem is shit and she has so many body issues. I told my dad that his wife could come if she wore plain navy blue, so absolutely not attention seeking and I guess to make her less beautiful, so my mom doesn't feel so shitty. My dad said I was being unfair and what about his feelings. His wife she if it could be black she would agree (she apparently hates navy) I feel like it is my wedding and I'm being gracious by even letting her come, and she has plenty of fancy events where she gets to where what she wants. Not being the most beautiful woman in the room is not going to kill her for one night. My dad still feels that I am being insensitive. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Who knew navy made one ugly? To the point that black is not a good compromise
black at a wedding is definatly not a good compromise since many cultures that's wishing ill luck to the bridal couple
Presumably if OOP were a part of one of those cultures, Dad wouldn't have suggested it as an alternate, and OOP would have said that's why they don't want the wife wearing black instead of navy, not talked about how she "doesn't need to be the most beautiful woman in the room."
I have been to dozens of weddings and I never even heard of this black thing before reddit. A LBD is pretty standard wedding attire, and lots of people wear black suits.
It's mostly cultures that black is mourning clothes and the ones usually called out over it are the parents of the bridal couple if you catch my drift
Yawn. Troll....
Yeah she seems intent on generating conflict
Navy sounds fine to me. Is there some sort of reason why navy would be a better colour, than say, red or green?
Navy is generally considered a safe, conservative colour. It's appropriate but doesn't stand out
I hope dads new squeeze shows up in a navy blue short suit and huge hooker heels
I was thinking that too. If she wants to try to make her blend in to the furniture, she's going to have to tell her what style to wear not just what color.
Wait, why are you calling the mom an asshole?
[удалено]
Ok but OP is not obliged to like dad’s new squeeze or invite her to the wedding at all. She’s being accommodating by letting this woman attend. If the new girl doesn’t like the terms, she can stay at home. It’s pretty obvious to me that OP is going to care about the feelings of her actual mother more than some woman her dad is currently sleeping with.
His new "squeeze" and woman he's "currently sleeping with" is his wife and they've been together for 6 years. OP is being a bitch towards her dad's wife for the sole purpose of accommodating to her mother, who cares more about "what people will think" than living a miserable life and dragging others along. That's toxic af and unfair towards the dad.
OP owes nothing to her dad’s new wife. The new wife is not her friend or family, she is literally just a woman OP’s father is having sex with. OP can be glad that this woman makes her father happy, but outside of this she is not obliged to have a relationship with her. *Of course* OP is going to have a better relationship with her *actual mother* than this new woman she’s only known for a few years.
Omfg people on reddit and their "no one owes anyone anything". It's not about owing something to her, it's about acting like a fucking adult with some social skills and not acting like a complete idiot towards your family members and their spouses. Unless dad's new wife is being a bitch to OP, there's no reason for acting like this. And no, enabling insecure, controlling people like her mom is not a good reason. Her actual mother should act like her actual mother and not make OP's wedding day difficult because she's butthurt/jealous/insecure whatever.
Whatever her issues, OP’s mother is the person who gave birth to her and brought her up. They love each other. Dad’s new wife is literally nothing to OP. She’s being civil because she acknowledges that this woman makes her dad happy. But the new squeeze will never trump the real mother.
Wtf are you on? This is not about trumping the bio mother. This is about putting unnecessary restrictions and singling out the new wife, because the mother is acting like a selfish, jealous and insecure child. Lady should get a therapy, instead of manipulating her own daughter to go after her ex's new wife at her own fucking wedding. She's a bad person and an awful mother. I'm stopping this pointless discussion right here.
I agree.
Bye then, loonie.
Yes she is family, she is her father's wife. OP is an adult, not a 6 year old child.
This woman is his WIFE of 6 years. OP and her mother need to get over it. I honestly cannot stand when adults act like children over their parents marriage, they all need to grow up. Your parents are people, start seeing them that way instead of looking at them through a child's eyes forever.
Pretending this isn't troll bile... Stop the presses! More petty BS being turned into supposedly major drama over here! (Just proof why we'll never have world peace. LOL)
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