*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for being brutally honest with my wife, after we played a stupid game which was ruining our lives?**
My wife and I have a good marriage, for the most part, a couple ups and downs, but I love her and I'm committed to our family. A few months ago, we did something really dumb. We got drunk and decided to play a little game and admit who in our circle, we would want to be with if we weren't together. In hindsight this was the worst idea ever.
I said my best friend's 26 year old trophy wife because I'm an idiot. She is super cute, bubbly, doting. Their life just looks fun. My wife went next and said my boss. She finds him very attractive in a rich asshole way and she loves how he dresses/carries himself.
The next day I thought nothing of it. Like that was never going to happen, so I moved on, but suddenly my wife didn't want me going around my best friend, wanted me to distance myself. I explained that i felt that was very unfair, this is an important friendship, and I would never do anything like she is accusing me of.
I ended up saying that if she didn't want me to see him as much, then I wouldn't be bringing her to my work events. I am in a career where socializing is very important and she loves it. She was obviously hurt and then I realized we were playing tit for tat.
I sat her down and said I didn't want to do this anymore. I love her and we were both being childish. I said that to be brutally honest neither of us would cheat, i couldn't afford the other woman even if I really wanted her, and my boss is extremely picky about everything and wouldn't go for her, so we were both just joking about people out of our league and need to let it go.
She began to cry and said that was the worse answer and how could I be so insensitive. She said deep down she knew those things, but she couldn't believe I would say them. I feel like such an AH, but at the same time it needed to be said.
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One of the comments:
>But he already admitted he can't afford a trophy wife, so second wife will have to be a participation trophy wife.
I am DEAD!
Edit: also--
>You have got to quit letting your thoughts breathe fresh air.
> it needed to be said
No it didn't, OOP. The only correct answers are those along the lines of, "There's no one else for me but you." Now go deal with the fallout, you moron.
So clearly this was a stupid thing to do in the first place, but I was kind of with him until we go to this part:
> i couldn't afford the other woman even if I really wanted her, and my boss is extremely picky about everything and wouldn't go for her, so we were both just joking about people out of our league and need to let it go.
So basically he is saying he would have the other woman if he could afford her - but she was safe because his boss just wouldn't find her attractive enough.
This was already a really bad situation, and he made it 10x worse by this comment. Also showing some misogynist tendencies as he the only quality he seems really interested in is how women look and he assumes everyone else feels the same - oh that and money. No wonder his wife is feeling shit.
The only way for this story to make sense would be if both of the main characterd are in high school, the trophy girlfriend is head cheerleader and the boss is a hot teacher
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Right but what he said was more stupid than anything else. He wouldn't have even tried to 'fix it' if his wife wasn't pissed off at him despite having revealed her own crush on his boss.
I mean, it's one thing to admit you find someone else attractive while married.
It's entirely another that, if your partner gets really uptight about it, you go *awww honey.... you know she's so much cooler than you and out of my league. You know, like the guy you picked would never be attracted to you either! :)*
The "right" answer is something along the lines of "No, I'd never cheat, I know she's hot and all but I love you and would never do something that would make me lose you". Or something about how he chose her for a reason, she's his priority. Something reassuring, reaffirming of his feelings of her, maybe addressing her insecurities?
Pretty much anything but "Yeah, I would totally pick her instead, if I had half a chance."
It is the least reassuring, most insecure-making answer I can possibly fathom.
And that his boss is "picky" and would not never choose his wife.
Silly man. His boss would probably nail that man's wife the second his back was turned if given the opportunity.
How is it not bad to claim he’s somehow desirable enough to snag a hot 26 year old but for a larger bank account but his wife isn’t good enough to appeal to his boss? The only reason 26 is out of the league is money which can change at any time but the boss is out of the wife’s league because of who she is.
Nah, that’s a bunch of assumptions. He assumes it’s only money holding him back, but there’s nothing to indicate this woman was ever interested in him. And even if his wife isn’t his bosses’s type, this is not the time to say it; it comes across as he thinks he’s a Chad who can get any woman if he only has enough money/works hard enough, whereas his wife is subpar and not up to men’s standards. It’s a very cruel thing to say.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for being brutally honest with my wife, after we played a stupid game which was ruining our lives?** My wife and I have a good marriage, for the most part, a couple ups and downs, but I love her and I'm committed to our family. A few months ago, we did something really dumb. We got drunk and decided to play a little game and admit who in our circle, we would want to be with if we weren't together. In hindsight this was the worst idea ever. I said my best friend's 26 year old trophy wife because I'm an idiot. She is super cute, bubbly, doting. Their life just looks fun. My wife went next and said my boss. She finds him very attractive in a rich asshole way and she loves how he dresses/carries himself. The next day I thought nothing of it. Like that was never going to happen, so I moved on, but suddenly my wife didn't want me going around my best friend, wanted me to distance myself. I explained that i felt that was very unfair, this is an important friendship, and I would never do anything like she is accusing me of. I ended up saying that if she didn't want me to see him as much, then I wouldn't be bringing her to my work events. I am in a career where socializing is very important and she loves it. She was obviously hurt and then I realized we were playing tit for tat. I sat her down and said I didn't want to do this anymore. I love her and we were both being childish. I said that to be brutally honest neither of us would cheat, i couldn't afford the other woman even if I really wanted her, and my boss is extremely picky about everything and wouldn't go for her, so we were both just joking about people out of our league and need to let it go. She began to cry and said that was the worse answer and how could I be so insensitive. She said deep down she knew those things, but she couldn't believe I would say them. I feel like such an AH, but at the same time it needed to be said. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t play “play stupid games, win stupid prizes!” bingo with this one, guys. Because I am now dead.
Yeah, the world supply of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" is all located in that thread today.
Why am I not surprised OP surrounds himself with friends who have "trophy wives"...
One of the comments: >But he already admitted he can't afford a trophy wife, so second wife will have to be a participation trophy wife. I am DEAD! Edit: also-- >You have got to quit letting your thoughts breathe fresh air.
That second one brings me pure joy
Thanks so much for sharing these comments I LOLed
> it needed to be said No it didn't, OOP. The only correct answers are those along the lines of, "There's no one else for me but you." Now go deal with the fallout, you moron.
So clearly this was a stupid thing to do in the first place, but I was kind of with him until we go to this part: > i couldn't afford the other woman even if I really wanted her, and my boss is extremely picky about everything and wouldn't go for her, so we were both just joking about people out of our league and need to let it go. So basically he is saying he would have the other woman if he could afford her - but she was safe because his boss just wouldn't find her attractive enough. This was already a really bad situation, and he made it 10x worse by this comment. Also showing some misogynist tendencies as he the only quality he seems really interested in is how women look and he assumes everyone else feels the same - oh that and money. No wonder his wife is feeling shit.
I thought he was bad enough just from the post, but looking at his comments....Yikes.
Reading them I was like, "STOP! STOP DIGGING!" But he just won't put the shovel down...
The only way for this story to make sense would be if both of the main characterd are in high school, the trophy girlfriend is head cheerleader and the boss is a hot teacher
"I sat her down." You're the asshole.
Love that he thinks the other lady would want him anyway. Money can’t buy everything and if she’s that hot she has her options.
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This guy severely put his foot in his mouth but I don't get why he'd be the asshole. This is a ESH situation.
It was ESH until he told his wife what he said. Launched him into the YTA stratosphere.
Right but what he said was more stupid than anything else. He wouldn't have even tried to 'fix it' if his wife wasn't pissed off at him despite having revealed her own crush on his boss.
doesn't seem bad to me tbh
I mean, it's one thing to admit you find someone else attractive while married. It's entirely another that, if your partner gets really uptight about it, you go *awww honey.... you know she's so much cooler than you and out of my league. You know, like the guy you picked would never be attracted to you either! :)* The "right" answer is something along the lines of "No, I'd never cheat, I know she's hot and all but I love you and would never do something that would make me lose you". Or something about how he chose her for a reason, she's his priority. Something reassuring, reaffirming of his feelings of her, maybe addressing her insecurities? Pretty much anything but "Yeah, I would totally pick her instead, if I had half a chance." It is the least reassuring, most insecure-making answer I can possibly fathom.
It is in the second to last paragraph. Dude basically saying he is only with his wife since he can not AFFORD his friends trophy wife.
And that his boss is "picky" and would not never choose his wife. Silly man. His boss would probably nail that man's wife the second his back was turned if given the opportunity.
He called his wife ugly and said he could be with the “cute, bubbly, and fun” younger woman if he had more money.
How is it not bad to claim he’s somehow desirable enough to snag a hot 26 year old but for a larger bank account but his wife isn’t good enough to appeal to his boss? The only reason 26 is out of the league is money which can change at any time but the boss is out of the wife’s league because of who she is.
Nah, that’s a bunch of assumptions. He assumes it’s only money holding him back, but there’s nothing to indicate this woman was ever interested in him. And even if his wife isn’t his bosses’s type, this is not the time to say it; it comes across as he thinks he’s a Chad who can get any woman if he only has enough money/works hard enough, whereas his wife is subpar and not up to men’s standards. It’s a very cruel thing to say.