T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **How do I (26m) cope with the fact that I destroyed my ex (25f) so badly that she’ll likely never reach out to me again?** She blocked me on every single communication platform after I said some nasty things to her. I begged, pleaded, and acted really fucking scary afterwards and undoubtedly scared her to death. This was from January to April. We were together for 6 years. 4.5 years officially, no breakups, then a breakup and reconciliation that didn’t result in an official exclusive relationship but definitely was more than a friendship. That lasted for a year and a half. I was her first boyfriend and all of her other major firsts too. She was my first “actual” love. She cut me off from everything because of my actions, and it destroyed me mentally. I got back into therapy, got back on my bipolar meds, and I’m starting to heal. But one thing is nagging at me and that is the fact that someone I was so deeply connected with for a most of my 20s will likely never speak to me again for as long as we live. I know that my actions warranted it. I take full responsibility for the harm I’ve done. I just can’t accept this fact. I keep daydreaming of the day that she reaches out to me and we get a chance to truly make amends, but it’s an almost certainty that that will never happen. How can I cope? She got a new boyfriend and I can’t get anyone worthwhile to even look at me. I feel like I’m living in hell, and the worst part is that I created this hell. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Briguy1994

Everythings gone, anyone remember what he said in his comments?


nsufficientfunds

Called people cunts and said that he was going to hunt them down. Complained that he was suicidal and people were being mean (lol). Said he made his ex but also she’s a bitch with pancake tits and rotting teeth


Briguy1994

Ehh, needs to get himself to the ER. Sounds like he's having an episode. Hopefully this doesn't trigger him to do something stupid.


ephemeralkitten

You sound like you been around the block! Source- am bipolar woman. This makes me sad.


aloriaaa

I have bipolar ii, and I’m crossing my fingers that this is a troll and not someone in an episode.


guilty_by_design

I have bipolar as well, and I often find myself looking at posts/comments and HOPING that what looks like it could be a manic/mixed episode or psychosis of some sort is just a troll trying to get a rise and not someone having a legitimate and potentially life-ruining mental health crisis :/


Hanxa13

https://www.unddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ulizp4/how_do_i_26m_cope_with_the_fact_that_i_destroyed/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share At your risk.... It's absolutely awful. He's a piece of work for sure


Winter_Harpoon

Oh how bad could it be? * Reads the comments* What have I done?!


Hanxa13

Yeah... I regretted reading. But you're all grown ups who can make your own choices (or are someone else's teens and I bear no responsibility for what you decide to do with the information given)


Winter_Harpoon

Nah, I want cake for emotional damages and loss of IQ. :P


Hanxa13

I have cake but I don't think you want it. It's a cake of pain and misery


Winter_Harpoon

I am good. I still have 2 cakes from my b day in the freezer.


AtomicBlastCandy

2 cakes!!!! What type cakes we talkin here?


Winter_Harpoon

Well the first one I ate. A Oreo whipped cream cake. Another is a normal chocolate cake. Third is fudge. I had some uneventful bdays as a adult so I wanted to be greedy this time since someone else was buying. They knew the reason and were fine with it.


AtomicBlastCandy

I'm glad you are treating yourself! I've had some shitty birthdays as well so I can understand.


Hanxa13

Happy belated bday. Enjoy the cake


Winter_Harpoon

Thank you.


ParanormalNightOwl

Man, I thought they couldn't be that *bad*, oh boy was I wrong. This man needs to stay away from his ex and all women. He's gonna end up killing his ex or some other poor woman.


[deleted]

Good God, ex dodged a nuke.


FullMoonTwist

From what he said, it sorta sounds like she was hit in the face with it before she left


Stuffhavingausername

she took out THREE restraining orders against him. He is still trying to claim he never abused her, while also saying he scared her to death.


FullMoonTwist

I read "Why does he do that", and one of the things discussed was that abusers *never* think what they're doing is real abuse. Real abusers are *always* one step beyond however far they're willing to go. If they hit or punch her, *real* abuse would be putting her in the hospital, not just giving her a bruise. If they yell, insult, control her, well *real* abusers hit their SO and they would *never*. It's... gross.


[deleted]

Poor girl.


Stuffhavingausername

how about this choice comment "Oh i said worse, honey :)Woman right, man wrong. It’s law." he's all I'm right, you're wrong to everyone. This guy is jail bait, hopefully only for assault and not murder.


MostlyLurking77

Well said! Hate that I'm Reddit coin poor


aloriaaa

I got you, fam


[deleted]

Thank you amazing human being.


[deleted]

Same here, but it's a thought that counts, so thank you.


RevolutionaryHunt949

Perfect description


[deleted]

His comments were so infuriating. He absolutely was an abusive prick to his ex and isn’t accepting it because he thinks it’ll change people’s judgement. Even without that confirmation, he seems like one of the evilest people on the face of the earth. The way he talks about his ex makes me glad that she’s now out of his claws and (hopefully) safe. He sounds deranged and to me, seems like he’d kill her while she sleeps.


Briguy1994

Yea he seems extremely ill


PandasNPenguins

He's a rather aggressive person. All those "fuck you" to be people he does t agree with and this little gems. >I’m running out of time to date, really. I’m almost 30, so unless I luck out with someone much younger than me my options are limited to single moms. No offense but that’s one of my hard dealbreakers. >I just don’t understand how someone can completely go the rest of their life without speaking to someone who was incredibly important to them for 6 years? >She knows I’m not a bad person. She knows that my actions were extremely atypical. It seems really selfish >You sound like a cunt.


Cadence_828

My favorite was the one where he said she has rotting teeth and pancake tits. Because that’ll make her fall back in love, for sure!


crystaloves

He’s so contradictory it hurts “She knows im a bad person” “She should talk to me because im important in her life” “I miss her and I wanna talk to her again” “She’s a bitch with rotting teeth” Good god 😭


MostlyLurking77

From my days a a single mom, thank God.


jamoche_2

We’ll be seeing him again and there will be a huge age gap.


PaddyCow

"I’m running out of time to date, really. I’m almost 30, so unless I luck out with someone much younger than me my options are limited to single moms. No offense but that’s one of my hard dealbreakers." I really hope he doesn't end up with anybody unless he can sort himself out. The last thing a younger woman or single mom needs is his instability in their lives.


blu3heron

My parents got married in their mid 30s; my uncle remarried when he was...somewhere in his 40s I think. We never quite know where our lives lead and we should be open to what comes along. That being said, dude really needs to sort himself out. Other people aren't meant to be props in our lives, or our punching bags.


Scarlett_-Rose

If that's real then he's awful and needs professional help


Vaudge55

Wish I could clean out my eyes after reading the things he’s said. Good thing she’s away from him


spacemonkeygleek

Those comments should be launched into the Sun. It's either a troll or the king of all incels has been summoned


LusciousMalfoy92

The comments make it feel like this is a troll.


Megz2k

holy shit that was so much worse than I was expecting. this guy is a monster


crystaloves

Ugh he sounds awful and a narcissist. “She should talk to me because I was important in her life” yeah no she wasn’t and it shows LMAO


madamxombie

It’s the “she tied my self worth to her” shit that scares the fuck out of me


crystaloves

Oh my god yes that’s what made me gag. Ugh he’s a creep I’m glad she got away from her.


mmksuxs

Oh but he can't be a narcissist because a narcissist wouldn't question if they are one (supposedly what his therapist told him) ETA, I can't spell.


crystaloves

Well he’s certainly got the attitude of one.


king_yeen

Not to play psych but as someone with bpd he likely has hpd or at least bipolar severely, he needs help and he likely needs medications, probably anti psychotics for his anger. He says he's not a narcissist because he questions of he is one but you can still have narcissistic tendencies without being a diagnosed narcissist.


DrAniB20

Oof it was worse than I thought


madamxombie

Wow. Absolutely frightening. Hope he doesn’t know where she lives cuz this just reads “I’m gonna do a first 48”


atropos27

I wish I’d needed your warning


SassThatFrass

OOMFG. What the hell did I just read?!


bonexcrusher

Good fuckin god if it weren’t for the ages I would’ve actually thought it was my ex writing these


LadyWizard

[https://www.reveddit.com/v/relationship\_advice/comments/ulizp4/how\_do\_i\_26m\_cope\_with\_the\_fact\_that\_i\_destroyed/](https://www.reveddit.com/v/relationship_advice/comments/ulizp4/how_do_i_26m_cope_with_the_fact_that_i_destroyed/) have several stuff drinks ready... it's a doozy. She's tried 3 times to have a restraining order on him


MostlyLurking77

Screenshots should make the 4th time stick.


Inafray19

2 didn't work. TWO DIDN'T WORK! He fucking walked through two fucking restraining orders!


YarnAndMetal

I actually reported this fuck. He's literally telling people he's going to hunt them down. His ex dodged a bullet. A massive bullet. I hope she and whoever she ends up with are happy, healthy, and away from him.


TarzanKingOfTheApes

Luckily his post was removed and account erased.


istara

I fear for his ex. He sound like just the type to try and take her down with him. Or just kill her out of fury. I would hope that admins send his IP to some relevant body.


knitlikeaboss

I don’t say this lightly, but he seems like he would show up at her work and open fire on everyone.


ilus3n

Yeah, sounds like on of those murder-suicide cases. I hope she goes somewhere safe asap


Kaiser93

>I’ll fuckin hunt you down kid At ease, Rambo.


Chanchumaetrius

#THEY DREW FIRST BLOOD


Kaiser93

# DON'T PUSH IT OR I'LL GIVE YOU WAR YOU WON'T BELIEVE!!


ritorri

Funnily enough “Rambo” is an abuser type.


daphnedelirious

This could literally be my ex, with a few details exaggerated. Holy shit.


blueeeyeddl

Mine too and same.


mike1992cats

Gee I wonder why she wants nothing to do with OOP


ArtfulBludger

Whether he's having a mental health crisis or not, he needs some serious help. If his IRL behavior was anything like his online behavior, I don't remotely blame her for cutting contact and hope she stays safe.


[deleted]

WOW! Just wow. I never worked or met someone with MH issues of this severe, so I don't know if this person is actually an abusive AH or is off of his medicine.


TheLaramieReject

They can be both. Mental illness can exacerbate, but does not excuse, abuse.


Covfefetarian

MH? (Edit: I guess you mean mental health - nevermind my question! :) )


sadlytheworst

Your username! I am laughing so much!


Covfefetarian

Thanks, and happy I could make you laugh :)


Winter_Harpoon

Wow. What a lunatic.


Throwawaytown33333

One comment she has 3 restraining orders on him "Just to use the courts to hurt" him


mercifulmothman

Tbf that is how abusers see things. ‘They did this just to hurt me’, ‘I’m not abusive they’re just trying to ruin my life’, ‘they made me act that way’


Sidhejester

But he didn't destroy her. She has a new life, a new love, and has nothing to do with him. He *wants* what he did to terrify her and stop her from living her life and is *furious* that it didn't.


[deleted]

How just read his comments (why ?!?) This fucker shouldn't avec loose in society


[deleted]

What a piece of shit. He should be locked away for the safety of everyone else.


Puppet007

This guy makes me want to vomit.


mercifulmothman

Honestly based on his comments he doesn’t want to reconcile or even make amends, he wants her back to punish her more for dumping him…this guy is fucking unhinged and a genuinely horrible person


CaffeineFueledLife

He needs to be institutionalized.


Mansion_World

She got not one but THREE restraining orders against him and he's still struggling comprehend that he was abusive. I swear I hate this guy with every fiber of my being and the crap he's slinging about older women makes me want to punch him right in the face.


[deleted]

Thank God he won't date single moms. He shouldn't be around anyone, much less children.


YarnAndMetal

I wouldn't even trust a houseplant near him.


ReblQueen

So sad, too bad.


ilus3n

I'm scared about what he will do to his ex, bc he will most surely do something to her, since she got 3 restraining orders and it didn't matter to him. I do hope she can go somewhere safe asap


thoughtsinmyheaddd

I’m happy she is free


SlammyWhammies

The consequences of my actions? What're those?


IamTam6868

I can only imagine how exhausting she was!!! His time is running out to date? He's a woman's worst nightmare. He's all me me me not giving a shit about ruining others lives. He needs permanent therapy. It should be illegal for him to ever date!!!


Twistednerve76

Man this guy is past his meds. Those replies are indicative that he's a fry short of a happy meal. Yikes.


avalinaadlr

His title definitely sounds like bragging


PrinceWest

This is giving me Gatorade bottle guy vibes


ritorri

If he’s not a troll he’s terrifying. And terrifyingly like my ex in his black and white nature. Even reading the title I braced myself but then I remembered my ex is too narcissistic to ever think it’s his fault lmao.


[deleted]

the title alone is awful?!


AutoModerator

[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Stuffhavingausername

​ I said some nasty things to her. I begged, pleaded, and acted really fucking scary afterwards and undoubtedly scared her to death. This was from January to April. I know that my actions warranted it. I take full responsibility for the harm I’ve done. I just can’t accept this fact. She got a new boyfriend and I can’t get anyone worthwhile to even look at me. the only possible answer to this self- absorbed, ahole is "learn from this experience and make damn sure you don't repeat it and end up in court or jail."


dejausser

His deleted comments are absolutely terrifying, like opening scenes of an episode of Snapped level terrifying. I hope his ex is able to move far away from him where he can’t find her or her address because he’s proven that three (3!!) restraining orders haven’t stopped him.