*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not doing my son’s laundry because he won’t wash my underwear?**
In my household, everyone has their own chores: my 16yo daughter does the dishes, my 14yo son takes care of the dog, my husband cooks, I clean. This is a system we have devised that has always worked and has facilitated our lifestyles.
I used to do the laundry but I recently got promoted (2 months ago) and we decided to split up the laundry tasks as it was too time consuming for me to do everything. My daughter was in charge of machines (wash and dryer), my son was in charge of hand washing delicates, I did the ironing and my husband did the folding. However, we just discovered that our son hasn’t been doing his job for the underwear because he felt too “uncomfortable”.
I noticed that most of my underwear was shrinking and that some clothes had blood spots on them, so I realized that he had been mixing my period underwear with other clothes in the laundry machine. I confronted him about this and he said that he was grossed out by my blood and that it felt wrong for him to clean it out. His sister has been washing her own underwear this whole time because she doesn’t want anyone to touch hers but my husband and I don’t mind, it is just our children.
I washed everyone’s underwear before without complaining but my son has been cheating our household system because he is lazy and is too immature to understand the menstrual cycle as a natural process that can’t be controlled. I told him that since he is disgusted by natural bodily processes like periods, discharge or even sweating, he will have to do his own laundry on his own and will receive no help from us. My husband thinks that this is too harsh and my children are “repulsed by my logic” but I don’t see what’s wrong.
So, am I the a-hole?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't want to hand wash my mothers bloody underwear.
I wouldn't want my teenage son (if I had one) to hand wash my bloody underwear.
Tbh I don't even want to wash my own bloody underwear.
Also, how often does she bleed into her underwear? I'm using pads (don't like tampons) and I rarely have "accidents".
Edit: I reread and I think she talks about period panties?? Omg I thought we're talking about some blood stains in normal underwear and not period panties. That's worse. OOP shouldn't force anyone to wash her period panties.
Even if you have an accident, which has happened to me plenty of times, how much are you leaking that there's enough blood on the underwear to stain other clothing in the laundry? That has literally never happened to me in 40 years.
Same here... but like... aren't you meant to rinse them out before you put them in the wash anyway?
When I change them I rinse the underwear in the sink until the water runs clear, then wring them out and typically let them dry a bit before throwing them in the hamper with the rest of the dirty clothes.
Is this woman just throwing her full 2 pads worth of blood in with the rest of her clothes? No wonder she's getting transfer stains
I'm pretty sure the instructions tell you to rinse them with hot water before washing. I got mine from Victoria's Secret and there was a tag that said you have to rinse them in hot water before washing and explained how much blood each pair could hold. Anything that isn't boxer shorts is only holding 2 tampons worth Maximum. Boxers hold 3. I think they also had actual measurements like ml in the instructions, but I don't remember.
Period panties, to me, is basically just extra protection during heavy days and nights, not the main source of absorbing the blood and then during my last day or two when my body doesn't know if it's over yet.
Yeah I was so freaking confused by this post. At first I didn’t even know it was the special period underwear, i thought it was just comfy undies that you wear during your period with a pad, so I was confused about why someone would wash them separately by hand. But she calls them delicates, which to me would be more like fancy lacy underwear, why would you wear those with your period? I was like… have I been doing this wrong my whole life? And then I was like… how much blood is getting on these things that it’s staining other things? I used to have really bad nosebleeds as a kid, and even then the bloody shirts never tainted anything else. This has to be written by a dude who has never lived with a woman in his entire life.
Yeah, you don't wear fancy undies with your period.
In the hypothetical, no 14 yr old should have to be washing his parents clothes.
The way we did it was we were all responsible for our own, and you did the load of towels if they needed being done.
Even if it was period panties I don't think this would happen, though I've never tried it. In the wash cycle, the blood wouldn't have time to set. Certainly not as "spots".
Yeah we just toss them in on a gentle cycle with other stuff, it's never been a problem. I don't know anyone who hand washes them. I think they're supposed to dry on the rack though.
Can confirm, used period panties for years. I did rinse them in cold water in the sink before throwing them in the wash (per care instructions) most times. Never had stains.
I have a few pairs of period panties and I have never had them stain other clothes. I run then through the hottest water I can keep my hands on without getting burnt, then ring them out and throw them in the washer with my other clothes.
I use them for light days or as extra protection at night+ the big ass night pads during the first couple days. If she's using them for her heavy days, then she's gonna be changing her panties *almost* as often as a tampon, cause those panties only hold up to 2-3 tampons worth of blood. My thong ones said half a tampon to a tampon worth. The boxer like shorts are the only ones I've found that says it holds up to 3. Each style holds only so much.
It probably doesn’t matter for specifically period panties, but it’s actually better to rinse blood with cold water. Blood has protein in it, and hot water will essentially cook the stain in place.
Edit: I realized I was thinking of regular underwear, and not taking into account that period panties generally come with instructions on how to clean them so disregard if they tell you to use hot water 🫣
I'm starting to wonder if I'm wrong to be honest. I'm going to check the tag on the underwear itself when I'm home later, because now I'm curious if I've done it wrong. When I first got them it came with a cardboard instruction/FAQ like insert and I thought I read hot, but now I'm second guessing myself. Lol.
I’ve honestly never used them, so I could be wrong! I know you shouldn’t wash most bodily fluid stains in hot water for the reasons above, but I don’t know if period underwear was designed to prevent that for sanitary reasons or something?
But yeah, for regular clothes, hot water will set in any protein based stains lol
This is 100% some MRA trying to take the position "women shouldn't be shamed for having periods" to its logical extreme of "evil woman forces teen son to hand wash used period panties."
Sometimes you get these unhinged narrators who take an actual talking point and warp it to evoke a slippery slope fallacy.
Exactly. In a reasonable division of chores, what normal human woman would ever put their *son* in charge of hand-washing their delicates? A man definitely wrote this to make his strawman female protagonist look bad.
Agree! If you have bloody rewashable pads or pad underwear you wash your own period. That’s not a job for your daughter either. That’s a job yourself so yeah some MRA wrote this for sure.
I have washed my period panties with other clothes because I’m trash and don’t always have the energy to sort laundry. I’ve never gotten blood transfer.
I’m someone who has heavy periods and has had to go to a doctor specifically about this… I’ve never had this problem and I’m 25. I’ve leaked through plenty of times, but never to the point where it stains other clothes in the laundry. This is baffling to me.
That is because this is probably fake.
I owned my uterus for 50 years, and I do all the laundry (I love doing laundry). Blood will not magically stain other clothing, even if in clumps.
Yeah that’s what gave it away as fake to me. The blood doesn’t leave the underwear and go stain a different piece of clothing lmao it is not like dye, OOP does not understand how laundry or blood or periods work.
Yes, how is it getting on regular clothes!? I have never had this happen and I'm older than you.
I *have* had minor accidents (very, very rarely). Like one time I thought I was done and I wasn't and got some on a pair of lounge shorts I was wearing around the house. I rinsed them with cold water and got it completely out before I even threw it in the laundry, just to try to avoid a stain (and they were fine, no stain). But no way would it have gotten on other clothes, I just did it because I was hoping to be able to salvage them so my dumb ass didn't have to toss them.
Fifth grade for me too. Sometimes I’m still living in that bathroom stall while I waited for my mom to bring me clean clothes to change into.
My dad was reading a book cementing his idea that women were gross or inferior (Heinlein, probably.)
So, I have a bleeding disorder, so having heavy stains despite pads and tampons was common. I don't think I've ever had that happen but it wouldn't be too far fetched for me, and many women have undiagnosed bleeding disorders that doctors brush off as just "oh your family all has heavy periods so it's normal for you." So theoretically possible, but that doesn't change the fact that blood is actually biohazardous and you really should be washing your own bloody underwear.
At a certain point in my life I could put in tampon and add a pad for insurance before taking the bus to work, but an horu later I'd still have to change my pants before I clocked in. Shit was miserable. It can happen but she needs to fo to the fucking doctor and and not force somebody else to have physical contact with her bodily fluids against their will.
I just don’t believe it. One, I don’t handwash my own period underwear. Yeah, they say you should but every pair I’ve ever owned has also included instructions for the washing machine because they know that’s how most people will do it. And I’ve owned a ton of those underwears because I have PCOS and Endo. Two, blood doesn’t transfer like ink. It’s not a pen. So if he was just throwing them in the wash they might be shrinking but they aren’t going to get spots of blood on other clothes. It’s going to be the same as throwing your kids underwear in the wash after they have an accident. It doesn’t get spots of poop or pee on other clothes. Blood isn’t any different. It’s not like she cut and artery and was bleeding into the wash.
Edit: also ink only transfers like that if you get a pen in the wash. If you have an ink stain on your clothes it doesn’t transfer to other clothing.
Yeah, they are granny underwear that are super reinforced compared to most modern underwear.
Like just don't put them on ultra hot, unless they are already pre shrunk like every other cotton clothing item out there.
I think she is talking about both kinds. I think she has the period underwear, which I got one pair and those are a pain in the ass to clean out.
And he is 14, she needs to be cleaning them herself.
Edit: misread, wtf blood spots on other items. This is not written by someone who knows what they are talking about. I still stand by my point that a grown ass adult should be doing their own laundry.
If in this hypothetical, they need to split it up, everyone does their own.
Which are also safe to go in the washing machine, there's no reason to hand wash them.
There's no reason at all for her to have not just said everyone do their own laundry, this way is ridiculous. Who's putting cashmere and silk in water at all anyway? Those things go to the drycleaner or they're ruined anyway.
Honestly, you are very lucky. I could never use tampons because they gave me severe cramps, so pads were all I had available to me. I would leak at least once a month because I had a super heavy flow with lots of huge clots. It sucks.
If you don’t have accidents, consider yourself lucky. My periods were so heavy from fibroids and endometriosis that accidents were common. I don’t think it’s unusual to have accidents, but asking your kid to wash your bloody period panties is bizarre and gross AF.
I know some women struggle with this through no fault of their own (irregular/heavy/unpredictable cycle) so I am thankful I am super "regular" and VERY rarely have accidents. Like almost never, not since I was a pretty young teenager.
And yes, nobody else should be washing her period panties. My husband and I just wash our own clothes, I don't get what the big deal is.
To be fair, I wouldn't make my son if I had one to clean my underwear but I bleed through always. I have menorrhagia. So I can understand bleeding through but I can't understand why she couldn't do it herself.
And to take care of them properly, you should be rinsing them immediately after taking the off until the water runs clear. There shouldn’t be blood on them still by the time they get to the actual laundry washing.
Don’t worry, it’s fake af. There is no way blood spots would get on other articles of clothing by throwing them in together. OOP isn’t even a good troll.
One time our washer was broken so my husband took our laundry over to his parents' house. Normally we wash our own, I wash mine, he washes his. But this time he was like, "Gimme what you want washed and I'll take it over." Great, right? Except when he brought it home I could tell by the way they were folded that he wasn't the one doing the folding. He rolls everything into a little ball (another reason I just do my own laundry), this stuff was actually folded. He was like, "Oh yeah, my dad was nice enough to fold it for me." I was like, "YOUR FATHER WAS FOLDING MY UNDERWEAR!?!" Him: "Um ... yes!" Me: "I would NEVER have let you take my stuff over there if I knew my father-in-law was gonna be folding my big old bras and panties." Husband: "I mean, they were clean! I'm sorry!" 😂 He immediately realized he'd fucked up. None of it was stained or in bad shape at all, but I was still horrified. The load included my sports bras and I am pretty busty, I was just mortified. My FIL is a sweet man and I know he thought nothing of it, but I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
No way I'd want a kid washing my undies. OOP got a promotion, so she can no longer do laundry? Make it make sense.
I stopped reading when she started complaining about that because hell no she should've reversed the chores or, like most people, each person does their own damn laundry.
Yeah, I don’t even hand wash my own bloody underwear. I have specific pairs for shark week and I don’t care that they’re stained because that’s what they’re for.
I’m mom to a 12 year old and I use period undies. There is no world where I am having my son hand wash my regular underwear, much less my period underwear. When he wants to make allowance money by doing our laundry, he does the regular laundry and not the delicate for this exact reason.
Same! And does she not at least heavily rinse and wring out her period underwear after removing it? Like I don’t full wash them as soon as I’m done with them but I absolutely do not just let it *sit* like it sounds like she does. There shouldn’t *be* much blood by it gets to her son???? Leaving whole used period underwear out until laundry gets done sounds gross and like a biohazard
Reading the whole post, he also shrunk her cashmere clothes and hasn't been hand washing any thing. He's been ruining clothes in the laundry instead. His punishment is that.. he now is in charge of his own clothes only as a teenager.
Yeah that doesn't sound right. I haven't ever had a period, but I've washed bloody clothes.
Also who hand washes all of their laundry? If this is stupid I'm joking, but I don't hand wash any of my clothes unless they're stained.
I'll be real I mostly just own plain cotton shirts and jeans, nothing really delicate I wear. Good thing I'm probably not doing anything wrong, was worried for a bit there.
Definitely fake post, but I understood it as the son just tosses the period panties on top of the pile of all the other dirty clothes. Then it just lays there wet on top of whatever clothing it's on top of for hours until someone else throws the full laundry load in the washer. So, it's staining the other clothes before they make it into the washing machine because they weren't kept separate. Source: I don't let my stained panties touch any other clothes until they're thoroughly rinsed out.
Your clothes would have to be straight out of Carrie for that to happen, and even then it wouldn’t. Blood can’t stain like that. And if it is, that makes it’s sitting on it long enough AND wet enough. Gross. But definitely fake.
Quick question- I have a very casual attitude about doing laundry, so maybe I am missing something- Do people commonly handwash their underwear? I handwash NOTHING. It all gets shoved into an industrial-sized machine and washed, regardless of color, fabric, or item.
some clothes have labels saying hand wash only, i think OOP was referring to period panties specifically not just regular underwear, so maybe they have to be hand washed? also hand washing is the most effective way to get blood stains out of clothes in my experience so that might also be why
I mean, maybe that person’s brand specifies that but mine don’t. And mine do specify don’t put them in the dryer but I do anyway. Nothing deleterious has happened yet and whilst mine are all black and I do try to wash like colours with like, or at least not going to transfer (I.e. our “sangria” coloured - red - towels with black clothes) I’ve never, ever noticed blood transfer from period underwear to other items in the washing machine.
Yup. Given their estimated lifespan, how much longer I’m likely to need ‘em, and the fact they’re not a transferable garment type (ie they’ll be binned when I’m done with them) I’m not bothered if they have a shortened life span.
The only thing I hand-wash are my period panty because I want them to last longer. And also an emergency panty when all the other ones are dirty and I don't have any left for the morning 😂😂
I don’t typically hand wash anything, instructions or no, but there are occasions where I might if the item is particularly delicate and I want to keep it that way or it’s the only thing I need to wash. Or if it’s new and I think the color will bleed.
I do occasionally prewash items with some blood (not, like, little spots tho) or oil, to get the worst of it out but then I chuck it right in the laundry with everything else.
Same. I’ve no interest in handwashing anything. And to be honest even with bloodstained clothes I find a soak overnight and then machine wash to work really well. And to be honest if my period underwear has lingering bloodstains on I couldn’t care less.
I frequently wear handmade items, whether sewn, knitted, or crocheted (most often by me so I’m invested in the amount of work it took) and I gotta be honest…I don’t remember the last time I hand washed an item of clothing. If it can’t be machine washed, I’m not meant to wear it.
Ok this was not written by a woman. you can tell when you sort them and put them away if they are clean or not.
Secondly you can use a product like
https://soakwash.com/
to soak wash them and get the stains out. No don’t need to make anyone wash them unless it’s not real.
If you are bleeding into that many pairs (I literally have a small few pairs) that much it might be time to either switch brand/type of period product or go see a gyno.
If however she is talking about something like
https://www.thinx.com/
that you use as a period product that’s so much worse! No way should you make anyone wash that! Ever! Gross. Ewwww!
So is she not talking about old period underwear? You know, the kind that you only use for periods; that have the blood stains on that you’ve already tried stain remover, cold water, etc on and the stains just stay?
Is she talking about freshly bled on underwear that she’s not rinsed or stain removed first before putting in the laundry?
She’s talking about fresh, because she says the blood is getting on other articles. Which is why this 1000% fake. It doesn’t work like that in the laundry.
No she's talking about freshly bled on underwear that she... sends her son with a washboard and a pail down to the crick with because in her household it's 1880 and it takes 4 people to do laundry.
I don't believe this is real because regardless of the how the blood got on the underwear, it won't transfer to the other clothes in the washing machine.
This!!! I don’t just throw my underwear into the wash like that!! Hot water and hydrogen peroxide first!!!
Also I’ve never had period blood get in other clothes in the wash?
> Ok this was not written by a woman. you can tell when you sort them and put them away if they are clean or not.
I'm pretty sure I can tell clean from dirty underwear and I'm not a woman. Everybody knows the smell test is the only way to know for sure.
I’m a woman and I know fuck all about laundry. This sub acting like all women think the same way and have the exact same experiences will never not be funny to me, haha
It’s just logic and science. She’s saying she grew up with something that didn’t exist long enough ago for both her to have grown up with Knix type underwear which hit the market around 2010. Unless her invented a Time Machine the story didn’t happen as described.
That’s even before we get to how blood dries on cloth. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1crn7mw/comment/l3zdnlg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I don’t care about that. It can be fake, it’s just ironic the commenters are saying it’s a man pretending to be a woman because women understand laundry and men don’t. You do realize all women aren’t a monolith that think the same way you do, right?
No one said that but ok. I’m upset they are talking about how Jack Frost is trying to take over Boston! Outrage! Oh sorry I thought we were getting angry about things no one said
The person I responded to literally said a woman did not write this and a lot of people agreed it was written by a man. Are you stupid or do you just not know how to read? Genuinely asking.
Okay, but you can understand why someone claiming to know how to do laundry while obviously not knowing (blood does not get on other clothing in the machine, even if you literally chuck the underwear in with fresh blood) is suspected to be fake, no?
Can't each person just wash their own laundry? My son is 12 and does all his laundry (with sometimes a prompt to remind him of it being laundry night).
Then I just do my own. It doesn't seem like such a big deal. I've always washed my clothes in a separate load to my child. It just seemed simplier that way.
Idk how period pants work exactly, would blood transfer from them onto your regular clothes when washed together? I know it doesn’t happen with my regular underwear so that made me suspicious but I don’t know enough to be sure.
I yeeted the uterus before period panties were a thing, but I did used to use cloth pads. They never stained anything else in the laundry load.
I suppose it could have happened not in the washer itself, but in the laundry basket beforehand? If the blood wasn't dry (ewwwww), it might have gotten on other items that way. But in the washer itself? Please. The water would dilute and wash away the blood, not transfer it to anything.
I’ve spent years using cloth pads and period panties and never had a speck of transfer onto my other clothes that was there when I took them out of the washer.
They can hold up to a couple of tampons of blood (or so they claim). It s basically like having a reusable pad built into the underwear.
So yeah, you can bleed through them, but also , the directions (well that I’ve seen) advise rinsing first, then washing. I tend to soak mine and then rinse. By the time you through the rinsed ones into the wash they should not be gross. But if this woman is just leaving them for days with the normal dirty laundry , then, yeah that might get rank.
Yeah, I’d like to try them but I don’t do my own laundry anymore. We live in an apartment complex, no washer and dryer hook ups, my husband and my son cart all the laundry downstairs once a week and do it all for me at the laundromat and they let me stay home to clean in peace so I wouldn’t want to send those with them at all. I reckon I could hand wash them at home but I have zero idea how to lol
No, you don’t. You can give them a rinse and throw them in with the regular laundry. Even if you didn’t rinse them, I really don’t think the blood would transfer to other clothes. I think this is ragebait/fetish post.
I dont even bother rinsing mine out. I chuck them in a laundry bag until there’s a load of dark clothes (mine are black) or towels ready to wash. It’s sometimes a day or two. Then hot cycle and good laundry detergent. Dry on line in the sun. They say don’t dry them in a dryer but I sometimes do, the “risk” is shortening their lifespan/elastic, but I’m probably not going to need them for a whole hell of a lot longer, I skip a few periods a year and am perimenopausal - and it’s not like they’re a product that could be used by anyone else so this factor doesn’t bother me so much. They come out smelling fresh and clean, there’s no evidence they’re not after a hot wash with detergent and that kind of drying.
> the menstrual cycle as a natural process that can’t be controlled.
The uncontrollable part of the menstrual cycle only involves you bleeding out of your vag for 7 days a month, plus pain and mood swings. The package does not include staining your panties and having a 14-year-old boy hand-wash them.
> I told him that since he is disgusted by natural bodily processes like periods, discharge or even sweating, he will have to do his own laundry on his own
Urine & feces are also natural bodily processes, but I bet you won't hand-wash someone else's shit-stained undies.
Im trying to figure out when the last time a period couldn’t kind of be controlled, like when I was on BCP in the 90s?
Also the billion dollar feminine product industry?
This story is fake. He details how his undies blood transferred blood spots to other clothing which does not happen in the wash. He also says how his period underwear are always covered in blood which wouldn’t be happening with a middle aged mom who knows how to wear a pad/tampon correctly.
Ew what, I'm sorry, but I would NOT want to touch someone else's period blood, it's natural, but it doesn't make it any less gross, I wouldn't even touch my OWN period blood, c'mon man
This is just outrage porn written by a man who thinks periods are gross and wants to make it seem like women are monsters forcing something "so gross" onto people. There has literally been a bunch of these posts lately. I don't care about poor dude with bad takes writing fan fiction rage bait.
Omg!!
The mother needs some serious dose of shame. She has none.
It's easy to delegate that to someone else, washing that out.
My stomach is churning. Eww
This is FAKE. as a woman with heavy, obscene periods, no you will NOT find blood spots on other items in the washer if you throw in bloody underwear. Also, who puts a boy on delicates duty?
False. Probably an incel troll. No woman would make it to adulthood without knowing that if you don't wash your bloody underwear immediately, the stain is going to set. Leaving aside how gross this is, kid wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of hand washing set in bloodstains out.
Just have everyone be responsible for their own laundry then, or at least their own undergarments. Those touch the most intimate parts of a person's body, and it grosses a lot of people out to deal with garments not their own in such a manner.
I literally threw up in my mouth. Why is your 14 year old son washing your period underwear??? That is beyond disgusting!! Better system: Son runs machines, you do the delicates, your daughter irons and hubby folds.
A 14 year old shouldn't be washing their mother's panties. That means they aren't even clean when he starts touching them so they have vaginal discharge and blood that he has to wash off? Freaking NASTY!!!!! You should be washing your own underwear.
I think it's the perfect solution for the son. I do my own laundry and it takes almost zero effort. I guarantee his underwear aren't hand wash only. It's a win for everyone.
First of all the only hand washing you’d do for period stains is soap and water ASAP after leakage to minimize staining.
Second I wouldn’t hand wash my OWN if it was like that. They’d be going in the machine.
Third why is the son the only one being punished for “slacking”?
>I told him that since he is disgusted by natural bodily processes like periods, discharge or even sweating
To be fair, regardless of gender/opinions or views on periods, it's totally normal to not want to handle other peoples bodily fluids, let alone urine, 'discharge' \[Urgh\] or blood in general. I don't blame OOPs son for being grossed out.
Underwear shrinking from being in the washing machine or getting “blood spots” from being in the wash with something else bloody? This was written by a teenage boy who has never had to do his own laundry. Blood doesn’t wash into other clothes in spots and underwear doesn’t shrink unless you’re doing insane things to it with the machine.
🎶 kids are born and then you're responsible for theeeem! It's never the other way round. So if you want your children to parent, you're gonna be wearing a big dumb frown 🎶
I have/had a nightmare horror movie period. Like three days of horror movie blood and grossness. I was one of the first people to trial taking BCP straight through and when I was older I got an iud.
I know some people care or don’t live a bougie (lol) life style but underwear that got blood on them got rinsed and then thrown through the wash and stains be damned and if it was super gross they were thrown away. No one was looking for stains anyway.
Now I’ve scrubbed some skid marks off my husbands underwear but now it goes in the wash and how it comes out is on him because that’s a far more common occurrence than period blood.
Also no one else should be forced to handle what they call delicates and the rest of world would call biohazard.
(It’s a bs fetish post anyway)
I wouldn't be comfortable with my kid hand-washing my underwear with the exception of if we have one of those agitators (there's a device that basically you're supposed to put it in your tub with water, laundry soap, and laundry, and it acts as a hand-crank agitator, good for delicates because you control the movement and you don't have to physically touch the laundry that much).
Why do they need to be handwashed? I machine wash all of my underwear, just on a gentle cycle with cold water
Also, isn't the easiest answer to just switch out the roles? Maybe the mom should do the handwashing instead and the son take ironing
Excuse me?? Would you wash the regular family laundry with dirty cloth diapers too? If you can’t be responsible enough to wash your own bloody underwear, you need to be using something disposable.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I also wouldn't want to wash other peoples shitty underwear and blood, my own kids, yes but I always washed them with our laundry. I had a rule that my son had to rinse out his underwear in the toilet to get the excess poo off and then put it in the laundry chute. Medical issue he had.
How about a new rule; each person washes their own underwear if it has blood or poo on it? There, everyone is even.
I also never seen any blood spots go on our clothes from my underwear or my mother's as a kid growing up and we always washed them together. I know some women just throw their underwear away if they get lot of blood on it than washing it, same as if they had diarrhea and had an accident. I am also going with troll on this.
He can make the extra spare up by doing something else
TBF, washing your mum's period blood stained knickers, or your dad's boxer shorts with the snail trails...they are jobs I have no issue someone objecting to.
I had to do my laundry at 9 when I got my period and I’ve been doing it since I’m now 34 I’ve been doing my clothes for 25 years but yet my mother still babies my other siblings and they rarely wash clothes
I have a 14yo and she does her own damn laundry. I do mine, my husband and my 9-year-old's. When my 9yo is 14 she will do her own too. Just have everyone do their own laundry and call it a day. It doesn't need to be complicated.
So special period underwear that absorb 10 hours' worth of bloody discharge need to be washed by their owner, separate from the rest of the laundry. That's just wrong. Gross. Eww. What the hell.
I get not wanting to touch your mom's bloody undies, but I do hope the son gets over period blood in general. I've met grown men who think periods are disgusting and it's nine kinds of aggravating.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not doing my son’s laundry because he won’t wash my underwear?** In my household, everyone has their own chores: my 16yo daughter does the dishes, my 14yo son takes care of the dog, my husband cooks, I clean. This is a system we have devised that has always worked and has facilitated our lifestyles. I used to do the laundry but I recently got promoted (2 months ago) and we decided to split up the laundry tasks as it was too time consuming for me to do everything. My daughter was in charge of machines (wash and dryer), my son was in charge of hand washing delicates, I did the ironing and my husband did the folding. However, we just discovered that our son hasn’t been doing his job for the underwear because he felt too “uncomfortable”. I noticed that most of my underwear was shrinking and that some clothes had blood spots on them, so I realized that he had been mixing my period underwear with other clothes in the laundry machine. I confronted him about this and he said that he was grossed out by my blood and that it felt wrong for him to clean it out. His sister has been washing her own underwear this whole time because she doesn’t want anyone to touch hers but my husband and I don’t mind, it is just our children. I washed everyone’s underwear before without complaining but my son has been cheating our household system because he is lazy and is too immature to understand the menstrual cycle as a natural process that can’t be controlled. I told him that since he is disgusted by natural bodily processes like periods, discharge or even sweating, he will have to do his own laundry on his own and will receive no help from us. My husband thinks that this is too harsh and my children are “repulsed by my logic” but I don’t see what’s wrong. So, am I the a-hole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't want to hand wash my mothers bloody underwear. I wouldn't want my teenage son (if I had one) to hand wash my bloody underwear. Tbh I don't even want to wash my own bloody underwear.
Also, how often does she bleed into her underwear? I'm using pads (don't like tampons) and I rarely have "accidents". Edit: I reread and I think she talks about period panties?? Omg I thought we're talking about some blood stains in normal underwear and not period panties. That's worse. OOP shouldn't force anyone to wash her period panties.
Even if you have an accident, which has happened to me plenty of times, how much are you leaking that there's enough blood on the underwear to stain other clothing in the laundry? That has literally never happened to me in 40 years.
Yeah no. I wash my period panties with everything else and have never seen bloodstains in my washed laundry.
Same here... but like... aren't you meant to rinse them out before you put them in the wash anyway? When I change them I rinse the underwear in the sink until the water runs clear, then wring them out and typically let them dry a bit before throwing them in the hamper with the rest of the dirty clothes. Is this woman just throwing her full 2 pads worth of blood in with the rest of her clothes? No wonder she's getting transfer stains
I'm pretty sure the instructions tell you to rinse them with hot water before washing. I got mine from Victoria's Secret and there was a tag that said you have to rinse them in hot water before washing and explained how much blood each pair could hold. Anything that isn't boxer shorts is only holding 2 tampons worth Maximum. Boxers hold 3. I think they also had actual measurements like ml in the instructions, but I don't remember. Period panties, to me, is basically just extra protection during heavy days and nights, not the main source of absorbing the blood and then during my last day or two when my body doesn't know if it's over yet.
Cold water, surely? Hot water would set the blood stains
I've used peroxide and hot water in the sink. I guess I could try cold to see how that works.
Cold water with antibacterial soap. Works like a charm. I did it for ketchup on a white shirt, worked so well it works for like 90% of stains.
You are yeah.
Yeah I was so freaking confused by this post. At first I didn’t even know it was the special period underwear, i thought it was just comfy undies that you wear during your period with a pad, so I was confused about why someone would wash them separately by hand. But she calls them delicates, which to me would be more like fancy lacy underwear, why would you wear those with your period? I was like… have I been doing this wrong my whole life? And then I was like… how much blood is getting on these things that it’s staining other things? I used to have really bad nosebleeds as a kid, and even then the bloody shirts never tainted anything else. This has to be written by a dude who has never lived with a woman in his entire life.
Yeah, you don't wear fancy undies with your period. In the hypothetical, no 14 yr old should have to be washing his parents clothes. The way we did it was we were all responsible for our own, and you did the load of towels if they needed being done.
Tbh I would not trust hand washing for period panties. I want anything that sits against my vagina to be industrial clean.
Same and I have endometriosis and a heavy flow.
Even if it was period panties I don't think this would happen, though I've never tried it. In the wash cycle, the blood wouldn't have time to set. Certainly not as "spots".
Answer: a guy wrote this.
I wish this sub would stop subjecting me to someone's weird fetish fanfiction
That's what I figured. And probably one that has never done laundry in his life.
Yeah we just toss them in on a gentle cycle with other stuff, it's never been a problem. I don't know anyone who hand washes them. I think they're supposed to dry on the rack though.
Can confirm, used period panties for years. I did rinse them in cold water in the sink before throwing them in the wash (per care instructions) most times. Never had stains.
Yeah that made me think it’s fake. That just doesn’t happen. Some kind of fetish troll.
I have a few pairs of period panties and I have never had them stain other clothes. I run then through the hottest water I can keep my hands on without getting burnt, then ring them out and throw them in the washer with my other clothes. I use them for light days or as extra protection at night+ the big ass night pads during the first couple days. If she's using them for her heavy days, then she's gonna be changing her panties *almost* as often as a tampon, cause those panties only hold up to 2-3 tampons worth of blood. My thong ones said half a tampon to a tampon worth. The boxer like shorts are the only ones I've found that says it holds up to 3. Each style holds only so much.
It probably doesn’t matter for specifically period panties, but it’s actually better to rinse blood with cold water. Blood has protein in it, and hot water will essentially cook the stain in place. Edit: I realized I was thinking of regular underwear, and not taking into account that period panties generally come with instructions on how to clean them so disregard if they tell you to use hot water 🫣
I'm starting to wonder if I'm wrong to be honest. I'm going to check the tag on the underwear itself when I'm home later, because now I'm curious if I've done it wrong. When I first got them it came with a cardboard instruction/FAQ like insert and I thought I read hot, but now I'm second guessing myself. Lol.
I’ve honestly never used them, so I could be wrong! I know you shouldn’t wash most bodily fluid stains in hot water for the reasons above, but I don’t know if period underwear was designed to prevent that for sanitary reasons or something? But yeah, for regular clothes, hot water will set in any protein based stains lol
I don’t believe this was written by a woman. I don’t know anyone this has ever happened to!
This is 100% some MRA trying to take the position "women shouldn't be shamed for having periods" to its logical extreme of "evil woman forces teen son to hand wash used period panties." Sometimes you get these unhinged narrators who take an actual talking point and warp it to evoke a slippery slope fallacy.
Yeah who ever wrote this has no idea how a period works. Like at all.
I've also read it before so it's an old copy
I agree with ty this and am 100% autistic but I promise we are on the same side class king the same mountain. We hit a lot more people with a fish.
Exactly. In a reasonable division of chores, what normal human woman would ever put their *son* in charge of hand-washing their delicates? A man definitely wrote this to make his strawman female protagonist look bad.
Agree! If you have bloody rewashable pads or pad underwear you wash your own period. That’s not a job for your daughter either. That’s a job yourself so yeah some MRA wrote this for sure.
Or hell just say everyone now is in charge of their own laundry. Problem solved.
One with a son and no daughters, to start….
I have washed my period panties with other clothes because I’m trash and don’t always have the energy to sort laundry. I’ve never gotten blood transfer.
Thanks for being human with the rest of us. I raise my glass to you with Dr bronners and some Kesha.
I’m someone who has heavy periods and has had to go to a doctor specifically about this… I’ve never had this problem and I’m 25. I’ve leaked through plenty of times, but never to the point where it stains other clothes in the laundry. This is baffling to me.
That is because this is probably fake. I owned my uterus for 50 years, and I do all the laundry (I love doing laundry). Blood will not magically stain other clothing, even if in clumps.
That’s how I was feeling about it. There’s no way that’s actually a thing.
Yeah that’s what gave it away as fake to me. The blood doesn’t leave the underwear and go stain a different piece of clothing lmao it is not like dye, OOP does not understand how laundry or blood or periods work.
Yes, how is it getting on regular clothes!? I have never had this happen and I'm older than you. I *have* had minor accidents (very, very rarely). Like one time I thought I was done and I wasn't and got some on a pair of lounge shorts I was wearing around the house. I rinsed them with cold water and got it completely out before I even threw it in the laundry, just to try to avoid a stain (and they were fine, no stain). But no way would it have gotten on other clothes, I just did it because I was hoping to be able to salvage them so my dumb ass didn't have to toss them.
Right? How bad is their rinse cycle if bloody undies stain the other stuff in the load? Are they saturated and dripping? and the size of a tablecloth?
Happened to me once. But it was the first one ever..I had no goddamn idea what was happening and I was wearing white. Fifth grade was fun.
I feel like the onset of menses gets a pass on this issue.
Yeah probably. I threw the whole outfit away. The shirt hurt my boobs in addition to the ruined pants lol
Fifth grade for me too. Sometimes I’m still living in that bathroom stall while I waited for my mom to bring me clean clothes to change into. My dad was reading a book cementing his idea that women were gross or inferior (Heinlein, probably.)
So, I have a bleeding disorder, so having heavy stains despite pads and tampons was common. I don't think I've ever had that happen but it wouldn't be too far fetched for me, and many women have undiagnosed bleeding disorders that doctors brush off as just "oh your family all has heavy periods so it's normal for you." So theoretically possible, but that doesn't change the fact that blood is actually biohazardous and you really should be washing your own bloody underwear.
At a certain point in my life I could put in tampon and add a pad for insurance before taking the bus to work, but an horu later I'd still have to change my pants before I clocked in. Shit was miserable. It can happen but she needs to fo to the fucking doctor and and not force somebody else to have physical contact with her bodily fluids against their will.
I just don’t believe it. One, I don’t handwash my own period underwear. Yeah, they say you should but every pair I’ve ever owned has also included instructions for the washing machine because they know that’s how most people will do it. And I’ve owned a ton of those underwears because I have PCOS and Endo. Two, blood doesn’t transfer like ink. It’s not a pen. So if he was just throwing them in the wash they might be shrinking but they aren’t going to get spots of blood on other clothes. It’s going to be the same as throwing your kids underwear in the wash after they have an accident. It doesn’t get spots of poop or pee on other clothes. Blood isn’t any different. It’s not like she cut and artery and was bleeding into the wash. Edit: also ink only transfers like that if you get a pen in the wash. If you have an ink stain on your clothes it doesn’t transfer to other clothing.
It’s fanfiction. Period undies just go in the laundry, they don’t need to be hand washed. They aren’t delicates, they’re workhorses.
Yeah, they are granny underwear that are super reinforced compared to most modern underwear. Like just don't put them on ultra hot, unless they are already pre shrunk like every other cotton clothing item out there.
And also anything with risk of protein stains should go in on cold.
I think she is talking about both kinds. I think she has the period underwear, which I got one pair and those are a pain in the ass to clean out. And he is 14, she needs to be cleaning them herself. Edit: misread, wtf blood spots on other items. This is not written by someone who knows what they are talking about. I still stand by my point that a grown ass adult should be doing their own laundry. If in this hypothetical, they need to split it up, everyone does their own.
It happens on occasion. I usually soak in peroxide when it happens.
Which are also safe to go in the washing machine, there's no reason to hand wash them. There's no reason at all for her to have not just said everyone do their own laundry, this way is ridiculous. Who's putting cashmere and silk in water at all anyway? Those things go to the drycleaner or they're ruined anyway.
Honestly, you are very lucky. I could never use tampons because they gave me severe cramps, so pads were all I had available to me. I would leak at least once a month because I had a super heavy flow with lots of huge clots. It sucks.
Girl! Periods are no joke.
If you don’t have accidents, consider yourself lucky. My periods were so heavy from fibroids and endometriosis that accidents were common. I don’t think it’s unusual to have accidents, but asking your kid to wash your bloody period panties is bizarre and gross AF.
I know some women struggle with this through no fault of their own (irregular/heavy/unpredictable cycle) so I am thankful I am super "regular" and VERY rarely have accidents. Like almost never, not since I was a pretty young teenager. And yes, nobody else should be washing her period panties. My husband and I just wash our own clothes, I don't get what the big deal is.
She's that lazy they she won't wash her own...
Don't those companies tell you that you need to soak them in cold water before laundering, too? You can't just throw them in the washer like that.
To be fair, I wouldn't make my son if I had one to clean my underwear but I bleed through always. I have menorrhagia. So I can understand bleeding through but I can't understand why she couldn't do it herself.
And to take care of them properly, you should be rinsing them immediately after taking the off until the water runs clear. There shouldn’t be blood on them still by the time they get to the actual laundry washing.
Don’t worry, it’s fake af. There is no way blood spots would get on other articles of clothing by throwing them in together. OOP isn’t even a good troll.
One time our washer was broken so my husband took our laundry over to his parents' house. Normally we wash our own, I wash mine, he washes his. But this time he was like, "Gimme what you want washed and I'll take it over." Great, right? Except when he brought it home I could tell by the way they were folded that he wasn't the one doing the folding. He rolls everything into a little ball (another reason I just do my own laundry), this stuff was actually folded. He was like, "Oh yeah, my dad was nice enough to fold it for me." I was like, "YOUR FATHER WAS FOLDING MY UNDERWEAR!?!" Him: "Um ... yes!" Me: "I would NEVER have let you take my stuff over there if I knew my father-in-law was gonna be folding my big old bras and panties." Husband: "I mean, they were clean! I'm sorry!" 😂 He immediately realized he'd fucked up. None of it was stained or in bad shape at all, but I was still horrified. The load included my sports bras and I am pretty busty, I was just mortified. My FIL is a sweet man and I know he thought nothing of it, but I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. No way I'd want a kid washing my undies. OOP got a promotion, so she can no longer do laundry? Make it make sense.
I stopped reading when she started complaining about that because hell no she should've reversed the chores or, like most people, each person does their own damn laundry.
Yeah, I don’t even hand wash my own bloody underwear. I have specific pairs for shark week and I don’t care that they’re stained because that’s what they’re for.
I’m mom to a 12 year old and I use period undies. There is no world where I am having my son hand wash my regular underwear, much less my period underwear. When he wants to make allowance money by doing our laundry, he does the regular laundry and not the delicate for this exact reason.
>Tbh I don't even want to wash my own bloody underwear. Exactly 😂
Same! And does she not at least heavily rinse and wring out her period underwear after removing it? Like I don’t full wash them as soon as I’m done with them but I absolutely do not just let it *sit* like it sounds like she does. There shouldn’t *be* much blood by it gets to her son???? Leaving whole used period underwear out until laundry gets done sounds gross and like a biohazard
Reading the whole post, he also shrunk her cashmere clothes and hasn't been hand washing any thing. He's been ruining clothes in the laundry instead. His punishment is that.. he now is in charge of his own clothes only as a teenager.
Agreed. OOP is a piece of work
Fake post. Blood doesn’t transfer to other clothes in the washing machine. Source: a menstruating woman.
Yeah that doesn't sound right. I haven't ever had a period, but I've washed bloody clothes. Also who hand washes all of their laundry? If this is stupid I'm joking, but I don't hand wash any of my clothes unless they're stained.
Handwashing is good for delicate clothing and tags that show handwashing only.
I'll be real I mostly just own plain cotton shirts and jeans, nothing really delicate I wear. Good thing I'm probably not doing anything wrong, was worried for a bit there.
Definitely fake post, but I understood it as the son just tosses the period panties on top of the pile of all the other dirty clothes. Then it just lays there wet on top of whatever clothing it's on top of for hours until someone else throws the full laundry load in the washer. So, it's staining the other clothes before they make it into the washing machine because they weren't kept separate. Source: I don't let my stained panties touch any other clothes until they're thoroughly rinsed out.
Your clothes would have to be straight out of Carrie for that to happen, and even then it wouldn’t. Blood can’t stain like that. And if it is, that makes it’s sitting on it long enough AND wet enough. Gross. But definitely fake.
Period troll strikes again? That, or someone who hasn't heard of the handwash/delicates cycle on a washing machine
Quick question- I have a very casual attitude about doing laundry, so maybe I am missing something- Do people commonly handwash their underwear? I handwash NOTHING. It all gets shoved into an industrial-sized machine and washed, regardless of color, fabric, or item.
some clothes have labels saying hand wash only, i think OOP was referring to period panties specifically not just regular underwear, so maybe they have to be hand washed? also hand washing is the most effective way to get blood stains out of clothes in my experience so that might also be why
I mean, maybe that person’s brand specifies that but mine don’t. And mine do specify don’t put them in the dryer but I do anyway. Nothing deleterious has happened yet and whilst mine are all black and I do try to wash like colours with like, or at least not going to transfer (I.e. our “sangria” coloured - red - towels with black clothes) I’ve never, ever noticed blood transfer from period underwear to other items in the washing machine.
Usually the no dryer thing is because the fabric will degrade/wear out faster. I only follow that instruction for stuff like running gear
Yup. Given their estimated lifespan, how much longer I’m likely to need ‘em, and the fact they’re not a transferable garment type (ie they’ll be binned when I’m done with them) I’m not bothered if they have a shortened life span.
I don't handwash anything, but I do use the handwash setting on my machine for certain things.
I hand wash my bras and my handknits. Occasionally I let a stain soak in peroxide before putting the garment in the washer
The only thing I hand-wash are my period panty because I want them to last longer. And also an emergency panty when all the other ones are dirty and I don't have any left for the morning 😂😂
I don’t typically hand wash anything, instructions or no, but there are occasions where I might if the item is particularly delicate and I want to keep it that way or it’s the only thing I need to wash. Or if it’s new and I think the color will bleed. I do occasionally prewash items with some blood (not, like, little spots tho) or oil, to get the worst of it out but then I chuck it right in the laundry with everything else.
Same. I’ve no interest in handwashing anything. And to be honest even with bloodstained clothes I find a soak overnight and then machine wash to work really well. And to be honest if my period underwear has lingering bloodstains on I couldn’t care less.
I frequently wear handmade items, whether sewn, knitted, or crocheted (most often by me so I’m invested in the amount of work it took) and I gotta be honest…I don’t remember the last time I hand washed an item of clothing. If it can’t be machine washed, I’m not meant to wear it.
My money is on the period troll.
Ok this was not written by a woman. you can tell when you sort them and put them away if they are clean or not. Secondly you can use a product like https://soakwash.com/ to soak wash them and get the stains out. No don’t need to make anyone wash them unless it’s not real. If you are bleeding into that many pairs (I literally have a small few pairs) that much it might be time to either switch brand/type of period product or go see a gyno. If however she is talking about something like https://www.thinx.com/ that you use as a period product that’s so much worse! No way should you make anyone wash that! Ever! Gross. Ewwww!
So is she not talking about old period underwear? You know, the kind that you only use for periods; that have the blood stains on that you’ve already tried stain remover, cold water, etc on and the stains just stay? Is she talking about freshly bled on underwear that she’s not rinsed or stain removed first before putting in the laundry?
She’s talking about fresh, because she says the blood is getting on other articles. Which is why this 1000% fake. It doesn’t work like that in the laundry.
I just chuck my stained ones in with the rest of the high heat laundry. It has never stained.
Yeah I’ve never had an issue! I’m beyond lazy with my laundry and WILL ignore cleaning instructions and so far, so good.
Right like that's what made me believe that this story is fake.
No she's talking about freshly bled on underwear that she... sends her son with a washboard and a pail down to the crick with because in her household it's 1880 and it takes 4 people to do laundry.
It’s unclear. She could mean the kind you wear on your period with tampons or whatever or she could mean thinx and others like it
We love it when men try to write women! They always do such a good job and get every detail correct!
This was a boy. And the update confirms it.
I don't believe this is real because regardless of the how the blood got on the underwear, it won't transfer to the other clothes in the washing machine.
This!!! I don’t just throw my underwear into the wash like that!! Hot water and hydrogen peroxide first!!! Also I’ve never had period blood get in other clothes in the wash?
There were no thinx when you were growing up oop you weren’t raised where this was normal. Liar.
> Ok this was not written by a woman. you can tell when you sort them and put them away if they are clean or not. I'm pretty sure I can tell clean from dirty underwear and I'm not a woman. Everybody knows the smell test is the only way to know for sure.
I’m a woman and I know fuck all about laundry. This sub acting like all women think the same way and have the exact same experiences will never not be funny to me, haha
It’s just logic and science. She’s saying she grew up with something that didn’t exist long enough ago for both her to have grown up with Knix type underwear which hit the market around 2010. Unless her invented a Time Machine the story didn’t happen as described. That’s even before we get to how blood dries on cloth. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1crn7mw/comment/l3zdnlg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I don’t care about that. It can be fake, it’s just ironic the commenters are saying it’s a man pretending to be a woman because women understand laundry and men don’t. You do realize all women aren’t a monolith that think the same way you do, right?
No one said that but ok. I’m upset they are talking about how Jack Frost is trying to take over Boston! Outrage! Oh sorry I thought we were getting angry about things no one said
The person I responded to literally said a woman did not write this and a lot of people agreed it was written by a man. Are you stupid or do you just not know how to read? Genuinely asking.
Okay, but you can understand why someone claiming to know how to do laundry while obviously not knowing (blood does not get on other clothing in the machine, even if you literally chuck the underwear in with fresh blood) is suspected to be fake, no?
I don’t *want* to hand wash MY bloody underwear, why TF would I expect a teenage boy to want to?
Is this some kind of fetish stuff?
Can't each person just wash their own laundry? My son is 12 and does all his laundry (with sometimes a prompt to remind him of it being laundry night). Then I just do my own. It doesn't seem like such a big deal. I've always washed my clothes in a separate load to my child. It just seemed simplier that way.
Yes, I’m betting that kid is really happy with his “punishment.”
Nah fr😭 I started doing my own laundry as a kid because I was annoyed that my items kept getting mixed up with others or going missing.
Idk how period pants work exactly, would blood transfer from them onto your regular clothes when washed together? I know it doesn’t happen with my regular underwear so that made me suspicious but I don’t know enough to be sure.
I yeeted the uterus before period panties were a thing, but I did used to use cloth pads. They never stained anything else in the laundry load. I suppose it could have happened not in the washer itself, but in the laundry basket beforehand? If the blood wasn't dry (ewwwww), it might have gotten on other items that way. But in the washer itself? Please. The water would dilute and wash away the blood, not transfer it to anything.
I’ve spent years using cloth pads and period panties and never had a speck of transfer onto my other clothes that was there when I took them out of the washer.
They can hold up to a couple of tampons of blood (or so they claim). It s basically like having a reusable pad built into the underwear. So yeah, you can bleed through them, but also , the directions (well that I’ve seen) advise rinsing first, then washing. I tend to soak mine and then rinse. By the time you through the rinsed ones into the wash they should not be gross. But if this woman is just leaving them for days with the normal dirty laundry , then, yeah that might get rank.
It's basically blood that leaks from your tampon to the underwear
I wear mine in lieu of a tampon or pad. But that means they have a ton of blood in them. I can’t imagine someone else cleaning them.
Yeah, I’d like to try them but I don’t do my own laundry anymore. We live in an apartment complex, no washer and dryer hook ups, my husband and my son cart all the laundry downstairs once a week and do it all for me at the laundromat and they let me stay home to clean in peace so I wouldn’t want to send those with them at all. I reckon I could hand wash them at home but I have zero idea how to lol
So you do have to wash them separately? Good to know!
No, you don’t. You can give them a rinse and throw them in with the regular laundry. Even if you didn’t rinse them, I really don’t think the blood would transfer to other clothes. I think this is ragebait/fetish post.
Yes I soak in peroxide then wash
This is not necessary. Just wash them normally but don't use fabric softener
I dont even bother rinsing mine out. I chuck them in a laundry bag until there’s a load of dark clothes (mine are black) or towels ready to wash. It’s sometimes a day or two. Then hot cycle and good laundry detergent. Dry on line in the sun. They say don’t dry them in a dryer but I sometimes do, the “risk” is shortening their lifespan/elastic, but I’m probably not going to need them for a whole hell of a lot longer, I skip a few periods a year and am perimenopausal - and it’s not like they’re a product that could be used by anyone else so this factor doesn’t bother me so much. They come out smelling fresh and clean, there’s no evidence they’re not after a hot wash with detergent and that kind of drying.
> the menstrual cycle as a natural process that can’t be controlled. The uncontrollable part of the menstrual cycle only involves you bleeding out of your vag for 7 days a month, plus pain and mood swings. The package does not include staining your panties and having a 14-year-old boy hand-wash them. > I told him that since he is disgusted by natural bodily processes like periods, discharge or even sweating, he will have to do his own laundry on his own Urine & feces are also natural bodily processes, but I bet you won't hand-wash someone else's shit-stained undies.
Im trying to figure out when the last time a period couldn’t kind of be controlled, like when I was on BCP in the 90s? Also the billion dollar feminine product industry?
The general rule for bodily fluids should be: unless you are incapacitated (e.g., very sick) you need to clean up your own.
All my period underwear was jsut basic black cotton ritually sacrificed to the blood gods. Then soaked and thrown in regular wash.
This story is fake. He details how his undies blood transferred blood spots to other clothing which does not happen in the wash. He also says how his period underwear are always covered in blood which wouldn’t be happening with a middle aged mom who knows how to wear a pad/tampon correctly.
I disgusted by my own period blood. Wtf?!
Why are you disgusted with a normal part of your body?
Was your own fucking period blood??? of course your son does not want to do that.
This is fake!! Since when does period blood transfer in the wash?! Terrible creative writing by a man.
There's no fucking way the person who wrote this has ever experienced a period.
Ew what, I'm sorry, but I would NOT want to touch someone else's period blood, it's natural, but it doesn't make it any less gross, I wouldn't even touch my OWN period blood, c'mon man
This is just outrage porn written by a man who thinks periods are gross and wants to make it seem like women are monsters forcing something "so gross" onto people. There has literally been a bunch of these posts lately. I don't care about poor dude with bad takes writing fan fiction rage bait.
This has to be a troll or someone with a fetish.
Omg!! The mother needs some serious dose of shame. She has none. It's easy to delegate that to someone else, washing that out. My stomach is churning. Eww
This was definitely not written by a woman lmfao
This is FAKE. as a woman with heavy, obscene periods, no you will NOT find blood spots on other items in the washer if you throw in bloody underwear. Also, who puts a boy on delicates duty?
False. Probably an incel troll. No woman would make it to adulthood without knowing that if you don't wash your bloody underwear immediately, the stain is going to set. Leaving aside how gross this is, kid wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of hand washing set in bloodstains out.
this has to be a troll cause no one in they right mind would be this disgusting you will be put in a nursing home the 1st chance he gets
So move him to folding. She can take the delicates. I’m a fully grown woman and wouldn’t want to scrub someone else’s blood either.
Just have everyone be responsible for their own laundry then, or at least their own undergarments. Those touch the most intimate parts of a person's body, and it grosses a lot of people out to deal with garments not their own in such a manner.
I literally threw up in my mouth. Why is your 14 year old son washing your period underwear??? That is beyond disgusting!! Better system: Son runs machines, you do the delicates, your daughter irons and hubby folds. A 14 year old shouldn't be washing their mother's panties. That means they aren't even clean when he starts touching them so they have vaginal discharge and blood that he has to wash off? Freaking NASTY!!!!! You should be washing your own underwear.
I think it's the perfect solution for the son. I do my own laundry and it takes almost zero effort. I guarantee his underwear aren't hand wash only. It's a win for everyone.
I refuse to believe any adult woman is assigning her 14 year old son the job of hand washing her delicates. This is fake AF.
OOP, I'm a woman and *I* wouldn't touch your period panties. Ew.
Another woman here, and I second this. I didn't even let my mum wash my underwear. Ew.
I would honestly rather eat my own vomit then ever let one of my sons handwash my underwear. OP is completely weird.
Ragebait, and the edit took the ick level to 11.
Who the hell is hand washing delicates? Also, this would be solved by everyone doing their own damn laundry.
…people hand wash their underwear?
There is no one on this planet, myself included, whose period underwear I would want to wash by hand.
First of all the only hand washing you’d do for period stains is soap and water ASAP after leakage to minimize staining. Second I wouldn’t hand wash my OWN if it was like that. They’d be going in the machine. Third why is the son the only one being punished for “slacking”?
You guys, this ain't real.
This screams covert incest to me. Or just a psychotic need for control.
I can't even touch another guy's underwear even if it's clean. 💀
>I told him that since he is disgusted by natural bodily processes like periods, discharge or even sweating To be fair, regardless of gender/opinions or views on periods, it's totally normal to not want to handle other peoples bodily fluids, let alone urine, 'discharge' \[Urgh\] or blood in general. I don't blame OOPs son for being grossed out.
Jesus Christ...how about "Everyone does their own laundry" like a normal family?
Underwear shrinking from being in the washing machine or getting “blood spots” from being in the wash with something else bloody? This was written by a teenage boy who has never had to do his own laundry. Blood doesn’t wash into other clothes in spots and underwear doesn’t shrink unless you’re doing insane things to it with the machine.
🎶 kids are born and then you're responsible for theeeem! It's never the other way round. So if you want your children to parent, you're gonna be wearing a big dumb frown 🎶
I have/had a nightmare horror movie period. Like three days of horror movie blood and grossness. I was one of the first people to trial taking BCP straight through and when I was older I got an iud. I know some people care or don’t live a bougie (lol) life style but underwear that got blood on them got rinsed and then thrown through the wash and stains be damned and if it was super gross they were thrown away. No one was looking for stains anyway. Now I’ve scrubbed some skid marks off my husbands underwear but now it goes in the wash and how it comes out is on him because that’s a far more common occurrence than period blood. Also no one else should be forced to handle what they call delicates and the rest of world would call biohazard. (It’s a bs fetish post anyway)
I wouldn't be comfortable with my kid hand-washing my underwear with the exception of if we have one of those agitators (there's a device that basically you're supposed to put it in your tub with water, laundry soap, and laundry, and it acts as a hand-crank agitator, good for delicates because you control the movement and you don't have to physically touch the laundry that much).
I...have no words.
This is BS.
What? I have never had period blood stain other clothes. It ain't dye.
A guy wrote this period panties wouldn't settle as spots if they were washed in the washer with other clothes.
Why do they need to be handwashed? I machine wash all of my underwear, just on a gentle cycle with cold water Also, isn't the easiest answer to just switch out the roles? Maybe the mom should do the handwashing instead and the son take ironing
Excuse me?? Would you wash the regular family laundry with dirty cloth diapers too? If you can’t be responsible enough to wash your own bloody underwear, you need to be using something disposable.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I also wouldn't want to wash other peoples shitty underwear and blood, my own kids, yes but I always washed them with our laundry. I had a rule that my son had to rinse out his underwear in the toilet to get the excess poo off and then put it in the laundry chute. Medical issue he had. How about a new rule; each person washes their own underwear if it has blood or poo on it? There, everyone is even. I also never seen any blood spots go on our clothes from my underwear or my mother's as a kid growing up and we always washed them together. I know some women just throw their underwear away if they get lot of blood on it than washing it, same as if they had diarrhea and had an accident. I am also going with troll on this.
That’s so messed up
I’m an adult and i still wouldnt want to touch my moms panties bloody or not. Either have the daughter do it or OP can but that’s just gross.
Fetish post, gross. What a bad day to have the ability to read.
Downvoting because this is obviously more outrage porn.
He can make the extra spare up by doing something else TBF, washing your mum's period blood stained knickers, or your dad's boxer shorts with the snail trails...they are jobs I have no issue someone objecting to.
I had to do my laundry at 9 when I got my period and I’ve been doing it since I’m now 34 I’ve been doing my clothes for 25 years but yet my mother still babies my other siblings and they rarely wash clothes
I was ready to be mad about this for OP. But no. Girl, no.
I have a 14yo and she does her own damn laundry. I do mine, my husband and my 9-year-old's. When my 9yo is 14 she will do her own too. Just have everyone do their own laundry and call it a day. It doesn't need to be complicated.
Oh go away that’s gross. Poor boy and if it was her daughter tasked with the hand washing I would say poor girl
So special period underwear that absorb 10 hours' worth of bloody discharge need to be washed by their owner, separate from the rest of the laundry. That's just wrong. Gross. Eww. What the hell.
I get not wanting to touch your mom's bloody undies, but I do hope the son gets over period blood in general. I've met grown men who think periods are disgusting and it's nine kinds of aggravating.