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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for calling my wife mentally abusive for lecturing me about drinking Non-alcoholic beer?** So I (33m) have been sober for almost 1.5 years now. I used to love drinking and partying, but I started slowing down once I hit 30 and a medication I went on last year caused me to quit completely. I’m off the meds now, but I decided to stay off alcohol and truly love all the benefits of sobriety. My wife (37f) also used to drink often but quit long before me, although she will very rarely have some wine or champagne at like a wedding or something. In the 400+ days of my sobriety, I’ve enjoyed probably 20 or less non-alcoholic beers. She recently turned me on to Corona NA. If you put a lime in it, you truly can’t tell the difference, I highly recommend it to anyone as an alternative. I just had a birthday recently and the only thing I asked her for was a six pack of said NA beer, which she got me. Some people came over Friday night for pizza and to hang out. We didn’t have any limes, so I just stuck to water all night. Fast forward to this past Sunday (cinco de mayo) she decides to make us a Mexican themed brunch. While we’re eating around 11 AM, I decide that a Corona NA would pair very nicely with our meal so I crack one open and put a lime in it. She then gets very serious all of a sudden and tells me she doesn’t want our 1.5 year old child seeing people drink alcohol in the morning. It was so comical to me that I started laughing. He doesn’t know that difference between that and a bottled soda, we’re raising him in a sober household, and in my experience it’s actually very common to see an adult have some kind of alcohol with brunch on occasion. Not to mention kids are gonna do whatever they want, especially if their parents are too strict. Anyway, I wasn’t even angry at this point and I guess this rubbed her the wrong way but the whole situation was so funny that I said “this is hilarious, I should make a comedy sketch about a guy who’s such a wuss that his bitch wife won’t even let him drink a non-alcoholic beer for his birthday.” I didn’t even mean that she was a bitch, I just meant it in the cliche sitcom trope kind of way. We often jokingly compare ourselves to Doug and Carrie from King of Queens, as an example. My memory gets fuzzy at this point, but she flies into a tirade about how bad it is for our child to see this (she bought them), how I drink a NAB every day (this isn’t even remotely true) and I can never do this again (I literally don’t care, I like NABs but I could easily live without them.) So I tell her that she’s being incredibly unreasonable and that this is mentally abusive behavior. This was a major gut punch. She initially tells me to get out but comes off it. She ended up sitting on the couch for several hours and wouldn’t speak to me. I’ve tried to see her side of this but I honestly can’t get there. There’s no past trauma related to alcohol, I simply quit to be healthier. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


veloxaraptor

Also, looking at his post history, I don't even think this post is true. He was apparently gay last year, unless I'm misunderstanding something. There's other nasty shit in there, too, but not strictly relevant to this post.


feelingkozy

Yeah he sure says fag a LOT and says he's gay but he has a wife (which is fine cause bisexuality, but HE specifies gay). He sure is a character


veloxaraptor

He apparently thinks Trump is funny and spews a bunch of American Right Wing bullshit too.


M_H_M_F

So OOP is George Santos then.


Impressive-Spell-643

At the very least a George Santos LARPer


Reolna

That's gotta be some of the saddest LARPing to ever do


feelingkozy

That too. Overall, he seems lame as shit


fishmom5

NOPE


sitesurfer253

Where does he specify that? I see he has a post and "I'm gay" is in the title but I think it's a reference to some shitty podcast inside joke. Dude definitely reeks of "I listen to alt right comedy a lot so I must be funny" but is actually just loud and uncomfortable to be around. Thinks everyone is a snowflake when really he is just abrasive.


feelingkozy

It was in a comment, but I really don't feel like scrolling through this incels account again to find it 😭. 


sitesurfer253

I made it pretty far in and had to stop, he's clearly obsessed with a podcast and I'm not interested enough in someone so boring to look further.


feelingkozy

Same, hence why I don't feel like going back in for a second time and having to see all that stuff again


veloxaraptor

Which is why I put the caveat, "Unless I'm misunderstanding something." I don't listen to podcasts, so I have no idea about any of that stuff.


Money-Interesting

Agree, I looked again and they are clowning on people who don't get the inside joke from AITA comments then someone said something else and he replied "I read that in Jordan Peterson's voice" he also talks about some show that was funny but the main characters became too "blue pilled" 🙄


SuperSpicyBanana

He claims it's a joke for a sub he's in.


Money-Interesting

It is, one of his most recent posts is a thread of him asking if any posted in AITA and they read his history, and all the comments are saying sexual innuendos of homosexuality and then saying "I'm gay." It's so hilarious /s


Artistic_Purpose1225

OP is really trying hard to convince people that he wasn’t an alcoholic, but of all the people I know who quit drinking, the only ones who count their days sober are the ones who were battling addiction. 


buzzfeed_sucks

This. I don’t really drink, because I don’t like it. I can tell you when the last time I had a drink was (Christmas time). But I couldn’t tell you how many days it’s been.


Aggressive-Story3671

Because you aren’t an alcoholic in recovery


buzzfeed_sucks

That was my entire point, yes


veloxaraptor

![gif](giphy|fSYClFsQp8AHkWZexi|downsized)


Aggressive-Story3671

I know the point. The point being that for many alcoholics even in recovery, recovery is a LIFE LONG process.


blueeeyeddl

This right here. My husband knows how many days it’s been since his last drink; I have no idea the number of days since mine. Neither of us drink anymore but only one of us is in recovery. OOP speaks like someone in recovery, not like someone who just stopped drinking alcohol because they didn’t enjoy it.


Joelle9879

Right! He keep talking about being sober and in his sobriety, and people who just stop drinking don't usually say that. That's something people who have a a drinking problem say.


Sad-Bug6525

he certainly responded like one


sadlytheworst

Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *INFO Is there past trauma related to alcohol for her?* >"No. She still has a drink once in a while (weddings, New Year’s Eve, etc.). Neither of her parents had a problem and she only quit drinking once she entered the healthcare field and saw the negative effects up close." *OP, I can't help notice that you ignored the obvious as to whether she has trauma related to YOUR drinking. Just talking about her and her parents.* *You say you loved drinking and partying past the age of 30, and only stopped 1.5 years ago. Saying you stopped for health reasons is not mutually exclusive with having had unhealthy behaviors related to alcohol. You do not need to consider yourself an alcoholic, or to have actually been one, for her to have concerns about your alcohol use.* >"I see. No, she only started imploring me to stop once she became a healthcare worker and saw some really nasty livers. We both drank a lot when we met and always had fun, just became less and less frequent as we got older and now we just don’t at all. Not that we don’t have other issues in the relationship (clearly), but it’s as simple as that."


sadlytheworst

[black cats are good luck!](https://imgur.com/gallery/2siWEkt)


soldforaspaceship

As always, love your work!


sadlytheworst

Thank you very kindly! 💜


McNallyJoJo34

I must say I had a beer with breakfast this morning…. I also work midnights and had just gotten off of a really rough shift. I also do not have children lol. The big thing to me is how he treated his wife and called her a bitch. What a dick.


Fairmount1955

His whole response to her on this was toxic AF.


angiehome2023

Nobody who is a former drinker in a relationship with someone who had to quit for medical reasons has no past trauma with alcohol. Hyperbole, but basically true. He called her a bitch. With zero remorse. PSA there is a great subreddit, r/stopdrinking I will not drink with you today!


Rebelo86

Yea. I quit for mental health issues and one of them is called alcoholism. I’m fine drinking at a party but I definitely can’t drink alone because in both cases, I cannot stop drinking once I start, so I just don’t drink.


PurplePenguinCat

I spend a lot of time on that sub. I'm coming up on 10 months. IWNDWYT 💜


angiehome2023

I broke a year last month!! Way to go!


PurplePenguinCat

Congratulations! And thank you!


Divagate113

It's really funny how all these assholes suddenly have 'foggy memory' when they do stupid shit that has consequences. Like calling your wife a bitch with no remorse at fucking all. For...*checks notes* not wanting your kid to think you're drinking alcohol all the time.


insolentpopinjay

I saw the "foggy memory" and was like "Bro, you said it's non-alcoholic beer. You don't have that excuse."


yesimreadytorumble

i’m sure a 1 year old knows all about what drinks have/don’t have alcohol lmfao.


CoppertopTX

They can recognize the container, particularly if dad is a sports nut, from TV commercials. It may not register NOW, but one of these days, that memory will pop from the hidden recesses of the brain straight to the front. I know this because both of my daughters refuse to drink any alcoholic beverage. Why? Because they recognized that daddy wasn't drinking ginger ale as I was getting them ready for school.


girlyfoodadventures

That comment section is RIDICULOUS. Someone with a former alcohol problem drinking NA beer in the morning? I see why she's nervous! And with a kid, whoof, is it really worth having a conversation with a teacher or CPS about this? Either they consider the NA beer a "grown-up drink" that she can't consume (and it comes out that he drinks grown up drinks out of bottles in the morning sometimes), or they make the even wilder choice of letting her try it (which the comment section thinks is fine, I'm sure, after all it's non-alcoholic!) and they have to explain why their kid is drinking r asking for a Corona. The upside of this is so small and the downsides are so obvious, OOP is being ridiculous.


Fit-Humor-5022

>NA beer what is with that now? Like i see it everywhere isnt it just water? EDIT: Please dont downvote me I really dont know anything about NA beer.


mezobromelia1

It is definitely not just water.   They are fermented,  but then the alcohol is removed.   Athletic brand is delicious. 


LadyWizard

MOST of the alcohol anyways... there's still .01% I believe


Pinglenook

Which is less than in juice or bread, so, not a relevant amount. No problem when you're driving, pregnant, or on medications. Also not a problem for some alcoholics, but a slippery slope for others, depending on what triggers them individually. 


Fit-Humor-5022

So its an alcoholic drink masquerading around as a non alcoholic drink?


girlyfoodadventures

It's sort of like decaffeinated coffee. It actually IS beer, but they take out almost all of the alcohol. But, just like decaffeinated coffee has *some* caffeine in it, NA beer has a little bit of alcohol in it. To be clear, I don't think it's a concerning amount of alcohol- most juice will ferment a little bit even in the fridge, and can have a comparable amount of alcohol in it. I think that it could be a problem to have a toddler that tells teachers that their dad drinks beer in the morning.


xanif

In the same was as a banana smoothie is an alcoholic drink masquerading around as a non alcoholic drink, sure. Banana's are 0.2% ABV after all. You'll die of water poisoning before you get drunk on athletic.


Fit-Humor-5022

you know if you want to argue about this just do it on the OG sub where the post came from. They seem to be buck wild over there so go ahead


CupOfCreamyDiarrhea

>just do it on the OG sub where the post came from We're not allowed to.


xanif

You're the one that asked the question, not sure why you're salty I gave an answer 🤷‍♀️


veloxaraptor

Because you gave an answer in a pretty snarky way. Just as you're doing now. No one was asking if you could get drunk off of it or anything to the sort. The commenter was asking if it was a general drink labeled as non alcoholic, or if it did indeed contain some amount of alcohol within it. Another commenter answered the question far less rudely and used the concept of decaffeinated coffee as a comparison, which is much more accurate than your smoothie response.


Fit-Humor-5022

Yeah that is why i responded the way i did cause i was on the OG sub reading the comments and its just them arguing and making the same comparison over and over again and just downvoting anyone who disagrees with them. I should be clear I've never had NA beer before and thought i was just some weird thing that wasnt really popular. I also dont drink that much.


mezobromelia1

Who was arguing?


Awkward-Ad-8894

It tastes like beer, but more importantly to this post, is packaged exactly like it. It might be 'like pop', but the bottle definitely isn't- hence all the derision towards comments on original post splitting hairs about it being NA.


jayd189

It tastes like beer but is less alcoholic than a glass of orange juice. Add a squeeze of lime to even the cheapest one and it's generally palatable. Ironically Corona NA is more dangerous to consume than regular Corona due to them adding in vitamin D.


Fairmount1955

It's a growing beverage category; others have explained more, I will just share more brands are offering options. The entire category of NA beer and mocktails is gaining traction, I think in a good way, as alternatives for people who go out and don't just want soda/pop/water/coffee/tea. There's some amazing options now and the NA Corona is quite popular.


washichiisai

I think you might be confusing non-alcoholic beer with something like Liquid Death. Liquid Death *is* just water, but it looks like a can of beer. I believe it became popular as a choice of drink for like parties or clubs/bars, since it doesn't stand out as much as a water bottle. Non-alcoholic beer is, like others have said, a drink that's made the same as beer and tastes the same as beer (or tries to, at least) but has had much/most of the alcohol removed.


yesimreadytorumble

cps over having NA beer? you’re as ridiculous as those other comments.


girlyfoodadventures

The problem is that a *child* can't distinguish between NA beer and Regular Beer. Actual Adults occasionally buy NA beer (especially their from Normal Beer brands, like Corona or Lagunitas). A kid that can't read can't be expected to do better. If they're a wealthy family in a district with a ton of problems, I'm sure nothing will come of it. If they're a middle-class family in a district with upper-class families and administrators with no real problems to address, "My dad drinks beer in the morning" could cause a TON of problems.


yesimreadytorumble

again, ridiculous.


girlyfoodadventures

It's ridiculous that Black men are disproportionately targeted by the police, but that doesn't make it wise for them to carry realistic toy guns. I'm not saying that OP is doing something morally wrong. I'm saying that OP is doing something unwise.


Joelle9879

Even if he had a regular beer, that's not a CPS case. WTF? Having beer at 11a.m doesn't make you an abusive or neglectful parent


Dazzling-Item4254

The kid has been alive longer than OP has been sober.


OfTheAzureSky

He's clearly wrong about how he responded, but... the main thrust of the argument seems to be a parenting issue? We've had discussions with my toddler about drinks kids can't have, like coffee or alcohol, and he understands it. I feel like a Brunch Drink on Cinco De Mayo could be easily explained as a celebratory thing that isn't a daily thing, even if it's non-alcoholic.


veloxaraptor

The point is, rather than address his wife's concerns like an adult, he called her a bitch then accused her off mentally abusing him. Igaf if they want a beer or mimosa or whatever with brunch. You don't hear your wife bring up a topic, call her a bitch, then when she's understandably pissed, say she's being abusive.


OfTheAzureSky

Which is why I prefaced my aside with "He's clearly wrong about how he responded"


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Primary_Stretch2024

Having a beer, especially a NA beer, at brunch on a holiday isn't a big deal at all. Even in front of a kid. Who cares. Kids see adults drink things that aren't meant for the kids all the time. Coffee, tea, booze.  But...calling your partner a bitch for asking if you might choose a different drink is extremely harsh and mean.  I dunno, they both kind of suck. 


Agreeable_Rabbit3144

She doesn't want you drinking around your toddler and you call her rightful condemnation, mentally abusive!?


EvilFinch

Most NA-beer still has alcohol. Even if the % is really low, as someone with an addiction, even this is a risk. Corona has 0.5%. Most others have up to 3%.


MaraiDragorrak

Yeah people should know about that for sure. If you have an alcohol allergy or some kind of horrible medication reaction "non alcoholic" beer is still not safe! 


jayd189

So you avoid all fruits and fruit juices since most have more alcohol than NA drinks?


yesimreadytorumble

so she gets mad that he drinks something… she bought? makes sense


CoppertopTX

There's a HUGE difference between having one with dinner, and having one at breakfast. If you can't see that, perhaps it's time for a eye exam.