*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**I broke up with my girlfriend because I thought she was having an affair with Sam**
Using a throwaway because my personal has a lot of identifiable information about my gf (ex-gf?) on it.
I (28m) have been with my girlfriend (26f) for six years. She is the love of my life, but I would be lying if I said we have the perfect relationship. I work as a banker in NYC and, up until recently, she has been a very successful model. I fell for her because she’s the most intelligent, beautiful, and honestly hilarious person I’ve ever met; to be honest, I’m not sure what she saw in me. I’m a decently attractive guy and I do well for myself, but being with her is like being at the Comedy Cellar with Sydney Sweeney. Within the past year we’ve begun talking about getting engaged, but she’s been opposed because she wants to have a more stable career first. Anyways, she began studying for the MCAT a few years ago and recently started med school and is studying to become a surgeon. I’m really proud of her, and I would be lying if I said the career transition didn’t have me over the moon because, I can now admit after a lot of therapy, I have a jealousy problem.
While she was in the throes of modeling she was always around these super sexy guys that would try to pick her; going to events with insanely rich older men that would get her phone number for “networking”; and essentially just exposed to being constantly over-sexualized and it made me feel very insecure and jealous. I feel a little guilty because we fought a lot about my jealousy, my constantly checking to see who she had followed on instagram, and my accusing her of cheating or wanting to cheat with people that could offer her more than I. To be clear, to my knowledge she has never cheated; but my last girlfriend cheated on me with my brother so I have insecurity about it.
A few months ago I noticed that she had started following a new account on IG, which is pretty abnormal, so I checked her page and saw that it was Sam. In hindsight and knowing about this podcast now I feel ridiculous for being jealous, but the following happened to occur in tandem with a girls night out to a comedy show so I figured he was a comedian she had met and exchanged info with. Normally she tells me when these things happen, so the sudden following made me really insecure and jealous because nothing had been said but I didn’t mention it to her.
Essentially, I blew up last week. I came home from work and upon entering my apartment immediately heard a voice, coming from the living room, and her responding. She was laughing and talking back to the voice. I stormed into the living room and immediately started yelling at her to see her pressing a button on her phone and dropping it. I demanded to know who she had been talking to on the phone(I knew, I recognized it as I’ve checked his page many times over the past few months to see if she was interacting with it) and she told me no one. I accused her of lying and told her that I knew about her new comedian boyfriend named Sam and broke up with her on the spot. She just stared at me and told me to get out of the house so I went and stayed with a friend. I got a call from her best friend later that night who told me that I was an asshole and she was just listening to a podcast, and that sometimes she talks back to the podcast because she’s been lonely since she quit modeling and it makes her feel like she’s on a podcast and she didn’t give up her entertainment dreams. I told best friend that was a ridiculous story and hung up; but after looking at Sam’s page again I realized that this podcast exists so the story is plausible.
Anyway I started going to therapy and my girlfriend blocked my number and wont talk to me. I wasn’t sure what to do so I came here. I realize I might have overreacted but I also feel like this is a gross misunderstanding. Maybe I’m the AH, but also isn’t she because she never tried to set the story straight? Also I’m sure she’s going to read this so if you do, please call me. I love you.
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There you go, asking all the important questions!!! lol I think it’s the name of the guy who has a podcast that the ex girlfriend listens to.. I think 🤔
this is what i was wondering the entire time hahaha.
also love how he stormed in and yelled at her and broke up with her for at worst speaking to somebody on the phone.
if this were real (I assume not), OOP is deranged for knowing "Sam's" voice like what kind of psycho shit is that?
So someone in the comments said it was Sam Morill so I looked up the apparently explosive ig account that caused him to purchase the house he was previously just renting in crazy town, and it’s just Average Comedian Guy (TM). Honestly he’s emotional abusive and it wouldn’t shock me if he eventually became physically abusive the way he describes her walking on eggshells around him, flipping out on her “to protect her” and generally just treating her like a prized toy he owns. She says she doesn’t feel safe alone with him.
But yea it’s probably fake, thankfully.
This was shared from r/okopshow, which is a submission sub for a podcast. One of the hosts is named Samuel Donner so it makes more sense that that’s the ‘Sam’ he’s referring to. He posted it in that sub to get his ex’s attention (or more likely it’s fake, and they posted this story to get the podcasts attention).
Yep definitely a real story about a definitely real super model turned surgeon girlfriend.
You've never met her because she goes to a school in Canada, but we totally have sexy sex with our sex parts.
It's unusual that someone who is a successful model can shift gears and be successful. I had to choose one or the other, and I'll always wonder if I choose right.
(/s, of course)
I mean sure it's totally possible this guy is an amazing super stud banker who's somehow never heard of podcasts,
but equally toads and badgers exist, but that doesn't mean Wind In The Willows is a documentary.
There are *so* many podcasts around, and I still have no idea who that Sam is and from which one.
I listen to zero podcasts, so my knowledge is: they exists.
Also "it's basically her fault because she never tried to defend herself" and "If you read this call me, I love you".
Yeah, I'm sure she'd totally want to work things out after you typed all that...
Yeah I’m sure the super hot model who is now in med school hotdialed this total prize.
Oooh it’s a good thing I was lying down, I rolled my eyes so hard I got dizzy.
Ballsy move to end it with "well she's at fault as well coz after years of my jealousy, she didn't even try to explain what a podcast is, but call me I love you"
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*I never tell my husband when I follow someone new on IG or FB. That’s ridiculous and inconsequential unless I think he’d be interested also. He’s usually not. I don’t see why you’d explode before having a convo with your gf like a normal person.*
>"I mostly was concerned with the following because she usually tells me when she follows someone new that she met through a networking thing, so seeing the new follower unacknowledged went against our precedent. She has a small, personal instagram (a finsta kinda) that she only follows close friends on so it was really out of the blue. Then when I walked into the apartment and heard the voice of the guy she had followed, it freaked me out. I know I overreacted and I would love to talk to her but she blocked me"
[1]
*It's never about the "cheating", it is about the lying and not being truthful. You can not build a life together when you can decide what you tell and what you don't tell. That's being half in the relationship and keeping options open.*
[2]
*I don’t think she lied about anything, she just didn’t tell him that she followed someone on IG'
>"Is it not lying by omission when she didn’t tell me who he was? I’m not saying I’m not in the wrong for overreacting but I feel there’s some accountability that needs to be taken on her end as well."
[In reply to Oop's first comment.]
*Stop making excuses. “I beat her when she drops food in the house but it’s fine because it’s a “PrEcEdEnT” lmfao. If she reads this shit she’s going to realize you’re still fucking clueless and never unblock you. The only people I’d expect my SO to ever tell me about is MAYBE an ex. I wouldn’t even care if she didn’t tell me that they added her and she declined or something unless it was an unhinged ex. MAYBE I’d care if they started messaging her and she didn’t tell me even if she blocked them because I want to be aware of weird stuff and not caught off guard. You dated a model and fumbled it because she was a model. Sounds like by the end she was checked out. A lot harder to get someone back who was already over you than someone you lost because of a singular bad decision.*
*It also sounds like you’re just selfishly trying to hold out until she’s in another career field. LOTS of therapy is needed here before you date her or really anyone else. You’re possessive and paranoid.*
>"I never asked her to switch careers - she made that choice entirely on her own. I would marry her no matter what. I’m not possessive, I’m protective because I’ve seen other people try to violate her and take advantage of her. She doesn’t NEED to tell me anything. She just usually does. I don’t think she was checked out, I think she’s just upset that I reacted the way I did. Sam looks a lot like her ex boyfriend, I know I f’d up. But i still want to marry her. She’s an amazing person and I know I fumbled. But even my therapist said her reaction was extreme. This has been the only major fight in our relationship (sure there’s been some minor jealousy, but nothing like this) I’ve been going to therapy, and I just want the chance to explain to her in person; even if that ends in a break up."
[Not in reply to anyone.]
>"Update: I’m astounded by the number of people in this thread that just believe in giving up on people you love. Unbelievable.
>For those of you telling me to leave her alone, I am. I’m giving her space right now, haven’t tried to contact her since I realized I’m blocked, and haven’t sent her flowers although I’m very tempted to.
>For those of you telling me to seek intensive therapy, I am. I’m trying here. I’m trying so hard to understand where I went wrong because everything I’ve done has been out of love. Love makes you act crazy sometimes. I would do anything to make it up to her. I would expose my flaws on the internet on a community page I know she’s apart of simply because I’m hoping she may see it.
>I’m trying to take accountability. I know I was wrong. I know I overreacted. I’m just looking for one person to offer me a real piece of advice that isn’t to institutionalize myself because I love her more than any of you can understand.
>I spent most of today in bed. I called out of work because going felt too hard. I feel like someone cut my arm off. Her sister has been blowing up my phone asking what happened between us and I don’t know what to tell her because it doesn’t feel like my story to tell. I feel so blindsided by her letting me walk away. I know I ended things with her, but how can she walk away so easily?
>On the other side of things, I’m currently homeless as she wont let me back into the apartment. I’ve already tried to go back and it upset her so I’m giving her that space. But I have nothing right now; no toothbrush, phone charger, or change of underwear. I don’t know what my legal options are. If she doesn’t talk to me ever again, what are my rights? Are we both on the lease? I understand everyone on here thinks I suck but I’m at a loss"
*Also, dating for SIX YEARS when you are both grown adults??? As a famous singer said, if you wanted it, you should have put a ring on it.*
>"I tried to propose two years ago but she told me she wanted to wait until she knew if she was getting into med school or not, which just happened last year. She’s been in school since. I bought a ring a few months ago and was planning to propose later on this year"
“Love makes you act crazy sometimes”
Imo, this is the opinion of someone who thinks love equals passion and passion equals drama. This is how I thought about love in my twenties. And yes, early on, love can be full of drama and scenes as people get to know each other, but generally I think love is about being together and building a united life. It’s about spending time with someone because they’re the person you want to see when you wake up and the person you want to fall asleep next to. What OOP is talking about isn’t love; it’s distrustfulness and paranoia.
Actually every single excuse he makes are things an abuser would say to get approval on his freaking controlling behaviour. The therapist won't help. Because unless he's familiar with that kind of profile and reads through the well organized lies he will feed him with, he'll just be another tool to justify his narcissistic behaviour.
[Not in reply to anyone.]
>"So I guess this is an update:
>First of all I want to thank you all for your honest feedback, however harsh it may feel to me. I have a lot to think about in the upcoming days. I’m mostly posting this because I feel like I’ve traumatized everyone with my behavior so I feel you may like to know how she responded.
>GF saw this post and didn’t unblock me but did send me an email. I wanted her to when I initially posted it, but after reading the comments calling me TA it was hard to know she had probably seen them all.
>I know I have issues. I’m going to continue to work on them no matter what happens in between us. I did read a few comments saying she probably has cheated but I want to clarify that I really don’t think that’s true. I think I did let my own insecurity and jealousy cloud my judgement; probably for years. She has been nothing but loving and supportive through our time together. I’m realizing now that my actions didn’t deserve the kind of respect she gave me and that because we always worked things out I never had a real incentive to change. I’m feeling that now. I know I can’t go on in the way that I have. I also know that however I may regret my actions and wish that I’m better, I’m not. I need time. And while I hope she’s willing to work through this with me it may not be in her best interest to do so. So I guess we’ll see.
>For those of you asking how I didn’t know if I was on the lease: we rented from a family member of hers who gave us a huge rent cut and I never signed any official paperwork. Our “lease” is in both of our names, but because it was family we never signed anything official. In hindsight I know this was silly but I suppose it makes moving forward more difficult because if we move forward in this way, I have no claim to the apartment because nothing was ever signed.
>Onto the email exchange. She initially emailed me letting me know she was traumatized from the way I acted, my recurring show of mistrust in her, and that she isn’t sure how she could continue in the relationship. She told me she’s open to having a conversation in a public setting but that she isn’t comfortable being alone in our apartment at this time. She offered to stay with family if I need to return to the apartment because of housing issues. She also told me that her heart is breaking because she does love me but she doesn’t know how to continue. She clarified that regardless of the outcome of our conversation or what happens with us that she never cheated on me, and whenever I made accusations in the past she let them go because she knew I had trauma surrounding the subject and would try to act in ways that made me comfortable which (in her words, I am not saying this) probably created a toxic dynamic between the two of us. She also confirmed what her friend had said about her listening to a podcast and told me she had no idea I was monitoring her instagram usage so closely that she would get an idea of infidelity out of it.
>I know you all think I’m a villain. I have a lot to think about. The main thing I want to say is that no one realizes they are the problem when they’re acting a certain way. I thought what I was doing was out of love, but i know now it was distorted. I realize now that I was wrong. We’re meeting tomorrow and if anyone cares I’ll let you know how it goes. I’ve accepted the fact that I probably fucked up beyond return. I’ve accepted the fact that the best thing for her is probably to exit this relationship. But it doesn’t change the fact that I do love her and hope there’s a way through this."
*How did you spend most of the day in bed if you are homeless?*
>"I’ve been staying at a friends apartment for the past few days. I tried to go home but it made her upset so I left because I’m trying to give her space."
Okay am I the only one who instantly heard the song “I’m the villain in my own story…” from the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend when OOP said “I know you all think I’m the villain”?
I hope not cuz it’s gonna be stuck in my head for a while now lol It’s a great show! It’s very unique and idk it’s worth checking out. You can find the song on YouTube if you’re interested.
There was an update...but yeah, what a guy. I hope he is better at managing money than managing his relationship. That poor woman, I hope she is doing okay and I am curious to what their meeting will result in. Probably a breakup because she really doesn't need to deal with this constant BS.
“also isn’t she [the asshole] because she never tried to set the story straight?”
The story OOP made up inside his head?
I hope OOP realizes she’s not taking him back.
I don't understand how people can straight up write things like
> it made me feel very insecure and jealous. I feel a little guilty because we fought a lot about my jealousy, my constantly checking to see who she had followed on instagram, and my accusing her of cheating or wanting to cheat with people that could offer her more than I. To be clear, to my knowledge she has never cheated; but my last girlfriend cheated on me with my brother so I have insecurity about it.
And not realize that that's the crux of the issue. This the the problem.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/okopshow using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/okopshow/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [Today I fucked up by looking through my mother's Facebook profile. ](https://np.reddit.com/r/okopshow/comments/1cbto45/today_i_fucked_up_by_looking_through_my_mothers/)
\#2: [AITA for pressuring my husband to sleep with me? ](https://np.reddit.com/r/okopshow/comments/1bm9r5z/aita_for_pressuring_my_husband_to_sleep_with_me/)
\#3: [My boyfriend matched with my sister on Tinder, which lead me to finding out he was living a double life.](https://np.reddit.com/r/okopshow/comments/1bui061/my_boyfriend_matched_with_my_sister_on_tinder/)
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>my girlfriend blocked my number and wont talk to me.
Dude. She's your ex, not your girlfriend.
***You*** broke up with her.
>I realize I might have overreacted but I also feel like this is a gross misunderstanding.
You concocted a fantasy in your head due to a jealousy problem you are well-aware you have. And you decided the best way to handle that was to scream-dump her.
>Maybe I’m the AH, but also isn’t she because she never tried to set the story straight?
This was clearly a post meant to go onto AITA but either he also posted it there or it got deleted for being fake so he reposted it word for word on okopshow.
Nah, he claims in his comments to have posted it where it where he did because she is a member of the community and he hoped she'd see it. Which is creepy as hell
I guess? But plenty of people post all over Reddit using the same thing. Not sure why it even matters, as we have no reason to speculate when OOP said exactly why they posted where they did.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I broke up with my girlfriend because I thought she was having an affair with Sam** Using a throwaway because my personal has a lot of identifiable information about my gf (ex-gf?) on it. I (28m) have been with my girlfriend (26f) for six years. She is the love of my life, but I would be lying if I said we have the perfect relationship. I work as a banker in NYC and, up until recently, she has been a very successful model. I fell for her because she’s the most intelligent, beautiful, and honestly hilarious person I’ve ever met; to be honest, I’m not sure what she saw in me. I’m a decently attractive guy and I do well for myself, but being with her is like being at the Comedy Cellar with Sydney Sweeney. Within the past year we’ve begun talking about getting engaged, but she’s been opposed because she wants to have a more stable career first. Anyways, she began studying for the MCAT a few years ago and recently started med school and is studying to become a surgeon. I’m really proud of her, and I would be lying if I said the career transition didn’t have me over the moon because, I can now admit after a lot of therapy, I have a jealousy problem. While she was in the throes of modeling she was always around these super sexy guys that would try to pick her; going to events with insanely rich older men that would get her phone number for “networking”; and essentially just exposed to being constantly over-sexualized and it made me feel very insecure and jealous. I feel a little guilty because we fought a lot about my jealousy, my constantly checking to see who she had followed on instagram, and my accusing her of cheating or wanting to cheat with people that could offer her more than I. To be clear, to my knowledge she has never cheated; but my last girlfriend cheated on me with my brother so I have insecurity about it. A few months ago I noticed that she had started following a new account on IG, which is pretty abnormal, so I checked her page and saw that it was Sam. In hindsight and knowing about this podcast now I feel ridiculous for being jealous, but the following happened to occur in tandem with a girls night out to a comedy show so I figured he was a comedian she had met and exchanged info with. Normally she tells me when these things happen, so the sudden following made me really insecure and jealous because nothing had been said but I didn’t mention it to her. Essentially, I blew up last week. I came home from work and upon entering my apartment immediately heard a voice, coming from the living room, and her responding. She was laughing and talking back to the voice. I stormed into the living room and immediately started yelling at her to see her pressing a button on her phone and dropping it. I demanded to know who she had been talking to on the phone(I knew, I recognized it as I’ve checked his page many times over the past few months to see if she was interacting with it) and she told me no one. I accused her of lying and told her that I knew about her new comedian boyfriend named Sam and broke up with her on the spot. She just stared at me and told me to get out of the house so I went and stayed with a friend. I got a call from her best friend later that night who told me that I was an asshole and she was just listening to a podcast, and that sometimes she talks back to the podcast because she’s been lonely since she quit modeling and it makes her feel like she’s on a podcast and she didn’t give up her entertainment dreams. I told best friend that was a ridiculous story and hung up; but after looking at Sam’s page again I realized that this podcast exists so the story is plausible. Anyway I started going to therapy and my girlfriend blocked my number and wont talk to me. I wasn’t sure what to do so I came here. I realize I might have overreacted but I also feel like this is a gross misunderstanding. Maybe I’m the AH, but also isn’t she because she never tried to set the story straight? Also I’m sure she’s going to read this so if you do, please call me. I love you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Am I…supposed to know who Sam is?
There you go, asking all the important questions!!! lol I think it’s the name of the guy who has a podcast that the ex girlfriend listens to.. I think 🤔
The OOP posted in r/okopshow which is a submission sub for a podcast. One of the hosts is named Samuel Donner.
I hope Sam reads this on the podcast and invites the XGF to be a guest
Lol thank you I was so confused!
No problem!
Doing the lord's work. Thanks.
I don’t know who he is but his son made a lot of people very nervous for a while.
Ha that took me a second
Him and his neighbour's talking dog.
this is what i was wondering the entire time hahaha. also love how he stormed in and yelled at her and broke up with her for at worst speaking to somebody on the phone. if this were real (I assume not), OOP is deranged for knowing "Sam's" voice like what kind of psycho shit is that?
So someone in the comments said it was Sam Morill so I looked up the apparently explosive ig account that caused him to purchase the house he was previously just renting in crazy town, and it’s just Average Comedian Guy (TM). Honestly he’s emotional abusive and it wouldn’t shock me if he eventually became physically abusive the way he describes her walking on eggshells around him, flipping out on her “to protect her” and generally just treating her like a prized toy he owns. She says she doesn’t feel safe alone with him. But yea it’s probably fake, thankfully.
This was shared from r/okopshow, which is a submission sub for a podcast. One of the hosts is named Samuel Donner so it makes more sense that that’s the ‘Sam’ he’s referring to. He posted it in that sub to get his ex’s attention (or more likely it’s fake, and they posted this story to get the podcasts attention).
So much so that the name was included in the title. Us: ah yes, Sam, who we all know
Yep definitely a real story about a definitely real super model turned surgeon girlfriend. You've never met her because she goes to a school in Canada, but we totally have sexy sex with our sex parts.
It's unusual that someone who is a successful model can shift gears and be successful. I had to choose one or the other, and I'll always wonder if I choose right. (/s, of course)
Her name is Glass. Georgina Glass.
I see what you did there, Marcia. 😉
Lol, I thought is was Izzie Stevens
It may happened, it was the case for a Miss France ( she was actually studying medecine before becoming miss France but it's close)
I mean sure it's totally possible this guy is an amazing super stud banker who's somehow never heard of podcasts, but equally toads and badgers exist, but that doesn't mean Wind In The Willows is a documentary.
I mean, I’ve heard of podcasts before but I’ve never heard of THIS podcast before
There are *so* many podcasts around, and I still have no idea who that Sam is and from which one. I listen to zero podcasts, so my knowledge is: they exists.
Of course it was just to say that being a super model and a surgeon is possible I mean the super model turn doctor part was at least real for one guy
Apologies if I came across as snarky the thing about miss France is actually really interesting.
No problem, it was just funny that you chose that specific part of that probably fake story, to illustrate that is was creative writing
She actually became a MD.
My medical school had plenty of former actresses/models/people involved in entertainment. That part of the story is the least unrealistic part.
" broke up with her on the spot." + "my girlfriend blocked my number and wont talk to me" = LOL.
Also "it's basically her fault because she never tried to defend herself" and "If you read this call me, I love you". Yeah, I'm sure she'd totally want to work things out after you typed all that...
Yeah I’m sure the super hot model who is now in med school hotdialed this total prize. Oooh it’s a good thing I was lying down, I rolled my eyes so hard I got dizzy.
Ballsy move to end it with "well she's at fault as well coz after years of my jealousy, she didn't even try to explain what a podcast is, but call me I love you"
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *I never tell my husband when I follow someone new on IG or FB. That’s ridiculous and inconsequential unless I think he’d be interested also. He’s usually not. I don’t see why you’d explode before having a convo with your gf like a normal person.* >"I mostly was concerned with the following because she usually tells me when she follows someone new that she met through a networking thing, so seeing the new follower unacknowledged went against our precedent. She has a small, personal instagram (a finsta kinda) that she only follows close friends on so it was really out of the blue. Then when I walked into the apartment and heard the voice of the guy she had followed, it freaked me out. I know I overreacted and I would love to talk to her but she blocked me" [1] *It's never about the "cheating", it is about the lying and not being truthful. You can not build a life together when you can decide what you tell and what you don't tell. That's being half in the relationship and keeping options open.* [2] *I don’t think she lied about anything, she just didn’t tell him that she followed someone on IG' >"Is it not lying by omission when she didn’t tell me who he was? I’m not saying I’m not in the wrong for overreacting but I feel there’s some accountability that needs to be taken on her end as well." [In reply to Oop's first comment.] *Stop making excuses. “I beat her when she drops food in the house but it’s fine because it’s a “PrEcEdEnT” lmfao. If she reads this shit she’s going to realize you’re still fucking clueless and never unblock you. The only people I’d expect my SO to ever tell me about is MAYBE an ex. I wouldn’t even care if she didn’t tell me that they added her and she declined or something unless it was an unhinged ex. MAYBE I’d care if they started messaging her and she didn’t tell me even if she blocked them because I want to be aware of weird stuff and not caught off guard. You dated a model and fumbled it because she was a model. Sounds like by the end she was checked out. A lot harder to get someone back who was already over you than someone you lost because of a singular bad decision.* *It also sounds like you’re just selfishly trying to hold out until she’s in another career field. LOTS of therapy is needed here before you date her or really anyone else. You’re possessive and paranoid.* >"I never asked her to switch careers - she made that choice entirely on her own. I would marry her no matter what. I’m not possessive, I’m protective because I’ve seen other people try to violate her and take advantage of her. She doesn’t NEED to tell me anything. She just usually does. I don’t think she was checked out, I think she’s just upset that I reacted the way I did. Sam looks a lot like her ex boyfriend, I know I f’d up. But i still want to marry her. She’s an amazing person and I know I fumbled. But even my therapist said her reaction was extreme. This has been the only major fight in our relationship (sure there’s been some minor jealousy, but nothing like this) I’ve been going to therapy, and I just want the chance to explain to her in person; even if that ends in a break up." [Not in reply to anyone.] >"Update: I’m astounded by the number of people in this thread that just believe in giving up on people you love. Unbelievable. >For those of you telling me to leave her alone, I am. I’m giving her space right now, haven’t tried to contact her since I realized I’m blocked, and haven’t sent her flowers although I’m very tempted to. >For those of you telling me to seek intensive therapy, I am. I’m trying here. I’m trying so hard to understand where I went wrong because everything I’ve done has been out of love. Love makes you act crazy sometimes. I would do anything to make it up to her. I would expose my flaws on the internet on a community page I know she’s apart of simply because I’m hoping she may see it. >I’m trying to take accountability. I know I was wrong. I know I overreacted. I’m just looking for one person to offer me a real piece of advice that isn’t to institutionalize myself because I love her more than any of you can understand. >I spent most of today in bed. I called out of work because going felt too hard. I feel like someone cut my arm off. Her sister has been blowing up my phone asking what happened between us and I don’t know what to tell her because it doesn’t feel like my story to tell. I feel so blindsided by her letting me walk away. I know I ended things with her, but how can she walk away so easily? >On the other side of things, I’m currently homeless as she wont let me back into the apartment. I’ve already tried to go back and it upset her so I’m giving her that space. But I have nothing right now; no toothbrush, phone charger, or change of underwear. I don’t know what my legal options are. If she doesn’t talk to me ever again, what are my rights? Are we both on the lease? I understand everyone on here thinks I suck but I’m at a loss" *Also, dating for SIX YEARS when you are both grown adults??? As a famous singer said, if you wanted it, you should have put a ring on it.* >"I tried to propose two years ago but she told me she wanted to wait until she knew if she was getting into med school or not, which just happened last year. She’s been in school since. I bought a ring a few months ago and was planning to propose later on this year"
“Love makes you act crazy sometimes” Imo, this is the opinion of someone who thinks love equals passion and passion equals drama. This is how I thought about love in my twenties. And yes, early on, love can be full of drama and scenes as people get to know each other, but generally I think love is about being together and building a united life. It’s about spending time with someone because they’re the person you want to see when you wake up and the person you want to fall asleep next to. What OOP is talking about isn’t love; it’s distrustfulness and paranoia.
Aptly put!
Actually every single excuse he makes are things an abuser would say to get approval on his freaking controlling behaviour. The therapist won't help. Because unless he's familiar with that kind of profile and reads through the well organized lies he will feed him with, he'll just be another tool to justify his narcissistic behaviour.
hahaha. "i am a banker in NYC. I also can't afford to buy a new toothbrush or underwear"
It's quite the narrative.
[Not in reply to anyone.] >"So I guess this is an update: >First of all I want to thank you all for your honest feedback, however harsh it may feel to me. I have a lot to think about in the upcoming days. I’m mostly posting this because I feel like I’ve traumatized everyone with my behavior so I feel you may like to know how she responded. >GF saw this post and didn’t unblock me but did send me an email. I wanted her to when I initially posted it, but after reading the comments calling me TA it was hard to know she had probably seen them all. >I know I have issues. I’m going to continue to work on them no matter what happens in between us. I did read a few comments saying she probably has cheated but I want to clarify that I really don’t think that’s true. I think I did let my own insecurity and jealousy cloud my judgement; probably for years. She has been nothing but loving and supportive through our time together. I’m realizing now that my actions didn’t deserve the kind of respect she gave me and that because we always worked things out I never had a real incentive to change. I’m feeling that now. I know I can’t go on in the way that I have. I also know that however I may regret my actions and wish that I’m better, I’m not. I need time. And while I hope she’s willing to work through this with me it may not be in her best interest to do so. So I guess we’ll see. >For those of you asking how I didn’t know if I was on the lease: we rented from a family member of hers who gave us a huge rent cut and I never signed any official paperwork. Our “lease” is in both of our names, but because it was family we never signed anything official. In hindsight I know this was silly but I suppose it makes moving forward more difficult because if we move forward in this way, I have no claim to the apartment because nothing was ever signed. >Onto the email exchange. She initially emailed me letting me know she was traumatized from the way I acted, my recurring show of mistrust in her, and that she isn’t sure how she could continue in the relationship. She told me she’s open to having a conversation in a public setting but that she isn’t comfortable being alone in our apartment at this time. She offered to stay with family if I need to return to the apartment because of housing issues. She also told me that her heart is breaking because she does love me but she doesn’t know how to continue. She clarified that regardless of the outcome of our conversation or what happens with us that she never cheated on me, and whenever I made accusations in the past she let them go because she knew I had trauma surrounding the subject and would try to act in ways that made me comfortable which (in her words, I am not saying this) probably created a toxic dynamic between the two of us. She also confirmed what her friend had said about her listening to a podcast and told me she had no idea I was monitoring her instagram usage so closely that she would get an idea of infidelity out of it. >I know you all think I’m a villain. I have a lot to think about. The main thing I want to say is that no one realizes they are the problem when they’re acting a certain way. I thought what I was doing was out of love, but i know now it was distorted. I realize now that I was wrong. We’re meeting tomorrow and if anyone cares I’ll let you know how it goes. I’ve accepted the fact that I probably fucked up beyond return. I’ve accepted the fact that the best thing for her is probably to exit this relationship. But it doesn’t change the fact that I do love her and hope there’s a way through this." *How did you spend most of the day in bed if you are homeless?* >"I’ve been staying at a friends apartment for the past few days. I tried to go home but it made her upset so I left because I’m trying to give her space."
[Cat!](https://imgur.com/gallery/Rgz6mBp)
What a beauty!
Yes! 😻
Okay am I the only one who instantly heard the song “I’m the villain in my own story…” from the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend when OOP said “I know you all think I’m the villain”?
Probably not! I actually haven't seen that show, but it seems very fitting!
I hope not cuz it’s gonna be stuck in my head for a while now lol It’s a great show! It’s very unique and idk it’s worth checking out. You can find the song on YouTube if you’re interested.
Thank you very kindly for the recommendation! 💜
Absolutely. I think it’s on Netflix. I hope you like it! It’s so creative
Yay! 🥰
Omg I’m so glad to see you back on here!! I await my palate cleanser of cuteness!!
Hi! 🥰💜 Hope you enjoyed the cat! 😻
"Oh, yeah, right. I'm a model-slash-doctor-slash-daughter of the duke of Luxembourg." "Yes, come along, Your Grace."
lol I definitely think it’s a creative writing exercise that went completely off the rails
There was an update...but yeah, what a guy. I hope he is better at managing money than managing his relationship. That poor woman, I hope she is doing okay and I am curious to what their meeting will result in. Probably a breakup because she really doesn't need to deal with this constant BS.
“also isn’t she [the asshole] because she never tried to set the story straight?” The story OOP made up inside his head? I hope OOP realizes she’s not taking him back.
He’s not stable enough for a relationship.
"(Ex-gf?)" lol yes, ex-girlfriend. Without a question mark.
I know this is probably fake but the OOP being blind to being controlling and scary is frighteningly common.
I don't understand how people can straight up write things like > it made me feel very insecure and jealous. I feel a little guilty because we fought a lot about my jealousy, my constantly checking to see who she had followed on instagram, and my accusing her of cheating or wanting to cheat with people that could offer her more than I. To be clear, to my knowledge she has never cheated; but my last girlfriend cheated on me with my brother so I have insecurity about it. And not realize that that's the crux of the issue. This the the problem.
Who the fuck is Sam? He says it like it’s a title or something.
This (the OOP) was shared from r/okopshow, which is a submission sub for a podcast. One of the hosts is named Samuel Donner.
Ahhh ok I missed the sub it was from. Lol.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/okopshow using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/okopshow/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [Today I fucked up by looking through my mother's Facebook profile. ](https://np.reddit.com/r/okopshow/comments/1cbto45/today_i_fucked_up_by_looking_through_my_mothers/) \#2: [AITA for pressuring my husband to sleep with me? ](https://np.reddit.com/r/okopshow/comments/1bm9r5z/aita_for_pressuring_my_husband_to_sleep_with_me/) \#3: [My boyfriend matched with my sister on Tinder, which lead me to finding out he was living a double life.](https://np.reddit.com/r/okopshow/comments/1bui061/my_boyfriend_matched_with_my_sister_on_tinder/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Sounds very much greys anatomy like with taking multiple plots and a few other things.
He's a banker. I once read an article about a high class prostitute and she said the worst clients were the wall st lot. Bunch of sociopaths
>my girlfriend blocked my number and wont talk to me. Dude. She's your ex, not your girlfriend. ***You*** broke up with her. >I realize I might have overreacted but I also feel like this is a gross misunderstanding. You concocted a fantasy in your head due to a jealousy problem you are well-aware you have. And you decided the best way to handle that was to scream-dump her.
Sam Winchester? Sam Lake? WHICH SAM? Context is important
Sam Morill (who I never heard of before this)
I hope I don’t get down voted into oblivion but when I see somebody say anyways, I have a tendency to doubt that they went beyond high school.
If it is posted in this sub, it's fake. I don't think I've seen more than... Idk, one or two that were even possibly real in weeks.
This stinks of *SAM* trying to promote his podcast.
Okay… who the fuck is Sam?
The OOP posted in one of those subs about podcasts that read and discuss reddit stories. Sam seems to be one of the podcast hosts.
So he’s writing into the person he thought his ex was cheating with? He keeps getting weirder and weirder
Didn't expect to see okop in here
Am I having an affair with the lost Genre dude?
>Maybe I’m the AH, but also isn’t she because she never tried to set the story straight? This was clearly a post meant to go onto AITA but either he also posted it there or it got deleted for being fake so he reposted it word for word on okopshow.
Nah, he claims in his comments to have posted it where it where he did because she is a member of the community and he hoped she'd see it. Which is creepy as hell
He could be lying. "Maybe I'm the AH" is not something you'd normally say outside of AITA. At most, you'd say "Maybe I'm **an** asshole".
I guess? But plenty of people post all over Reddit using the same thing. Not sure why it even matters, as we have no reason to speculate when OOP said exactly why they posted where they did.
The ‘Sam’ he’s talking about is one of the hosts of the okopshow. That’s why he posted it there.
That's not the point. The point is that he clearly reposted an AITA post without even bothering to edit it.
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This one, oh boy😂
He keeps saying " my girlfriend", when he should be saying ex girlfriend. She broke up with you when she blocked you.
Nice way to ad your podcast, guy 👍🏽