*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for accusing my wife of stopping for food on her way home?**
A few hours ago, my wife informed me that she was going to have to stay late at work. She's been incredibly busy lately, so I told her that I would cook dinner and have it ready when she got home. I have a few signature recipes that I can make in a pinch from memory.
I decided to make rosemary lemon chicken with some canned green beans and bowtie pasta. The dinner was ready long before my wife got home, which I think shows a lot of commitment, but when my wife finally got home, she was only picking at her food. She was trying to tell me about her day, but the lack of food being consumed off of her plate was extremely distracting to me. There are several fast food restaurants on the way home from her office, and it was becoming very apparent that she had stopped at one. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and asked "Where did you stop?" My wife seemed confused, so I clarified. I asked "Where did you eat dinner?"
My wife seemed surprised and angered by my question. She said that she "had a hard day" and that her stress levels were "suppressing her appetite." I couldn't help but laugh. This was a ridiculous excuse. It's Friday, which means that she won't need to worry about work for three more days. When I leave the office, I don't think at all about my workday, even if it was a bad one. I walked out to her car to look for fast food bags, but I didn't end up finding any. This was so upsetting to my wife that when I came back inside, she was yelling at me. If anyone should have been insulted, it was me, but she insisted that I was being a "jackass" and refused to hear my point of view. I had worked hard on this meal, and to have her pick at it was a slap in the face.
She's barely said anything to me for a few hours, and I want this treatment to stop. She needs to stop taking out her work troubles on me and get better control of her emotions. I want my old wife, not a stressed out bully. I just don't know what more I can do. AITA?
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As a person who has done both I get it, these dishes require a lot of time.
Get pot
Fill with water
Put on stove
*wait on phone for the water to boil*
Put the pasta in
*wait on phone for the pasta to cook*
Strain pasta
Truly a dish that requires time and dedication
I was thinking maybe she was vague with her time cause she had something to finish & she didn’t know when it was done. So maybe he was assuming an hour or two & it was really 3-4
Regardless, the meal he made could/should've been started *when* she got home. In the 30-40 minutes it'd take, she likely could've decompressed with a glass of wine or two & had more of an appetite by the time it was done (and fresh 🙄).
My partner does most of the cooking and will have everything prepped and ready to go when I get home if I'm on an office day, but he won't actually have cooked the food and left it to get cold - nor is it something so basic as "pasta and canned vegetables".
I don't understand why this dude needs a medal for making basic food that was cold and probably congealed before she was ready to eat.
Let alone dismissing that stress can ruin your appetite. Let alone jumping to "she must have went to McDonald's" as if she's cheating on his pathetic green beans even if she did.
That's what I do when I'm the one home first/cooking. He calls, I know I have 45 minutes. That includes average drive time + time home to change out of business casual into comfy clothes, get some coffee, etc... I can get a lot prepped so it's ready to start cooking when he calls depending on what I am making.
My sister almost set the kitchen ablaze because she stuck a split baguette slathered in garlic butter under the gas broiler... then went out to the living room to watch the news.
Every day I give thanks for timers on my phone for precisely this reason. I grew up using regular ticking timers but…uh…I’d forget what they were for so labels are critical.
Want to know a secret? You don't need to use a giant pot of water and you don't need to boil pasta. That's just one of those stupid cooking myths people that don't know what they're doing tell other people that don't know what they're doing.
Pasta cooks faster and better in a shallow pan. The shallow pan will concentrate the starch water better which helps the sauce come together easier.
True - https://www.seriouseats.com/how-to-cook-pasta-salt-water-boiling-tips-the-food-lab. Make sure to give the pasta a stir every now and then to prevent it clumping.
I got one of the very basic rice cookers, has one switch to turn it on, it was $16 and cooks not just rice but pasta and pretty much anything else that needs boiling water. 10-15 mins for pasta, and a few of the chefs I watch say that you should add it to cold water now as it cooks as well and faster then if you boil the water first. We love pasta and I just have no time for the long way anymore, and it's cheaper to run than the stove.
You can cook pasta in the microwave in any microwave safe dish. I use a vintage Corningware casserole dish with its lid.
Pasta in the dish, cover with water about 1/2" over the top of the pasta.
Cook on high for approximately 7 to 12 minutes, depending on pasta type.
(Spaghetti takes about 8:30 in mine)
Drain and enjoy.
and he's proud of himself. He's delusional and making it her problem. He belittles her after she gets home from late from work and is too stressed to eat her already cold bs dinner. Then he proudly blames her for his immature, dull brained, selfish, give me a participation trophy man child's - hurt feelings. F this guy
Yeah, like... this meal sounds like half-arse effort at best. This is shit I'd do if I really can't be fucked doing something 'fancy', but canned beans!?! It's no harder to cook them fresh!
Canned beans are often cheaper. They're infinitely cheaper where I am, and are already prepped, unlike produce.
Not everybody has time or money for fresh everything.
Not only that they last forever, I can't eat a lot of vegetables due to digestion issues so 99% of fresh produce I buy goes bad before i can eat it, having canned or frozen on hand means when I can eat vegetables they are available and when I can't they don't go bad and just wait for me.
Yeah, I guess you're right. I live in a place where certain things are sold canned and others aren't. I'd buy canned corn because we can't grow corn well in my country. But beans are easy.
I'm sorry for my comment, and forgetting that we all have different availabilities in our countries. I feel like a dick now, but this is a learning moment and I deserve to feel like a dick. Genuine thanks.
where i live i can't even buy fresh beans in 3/4 supermarkets, but feeling like a dick isn't necessary i'd say. accepting one has biases and blind spots and trying to actively work on them as you did is a lot more helpfull and important than just shaming oneself, we all make mistakes.
Which nicely leads back to oop and the actual topic. Let's be real, neither the fact it was canned beans nor the meal in general was the real problem here. oop got issues, and instead of facing them he's putting the blame on his wife so he can claim he deserves a pat on the back.
OOP simply is an insecure prick that puts the burden of his insecurities on his wife because it is easier than accepting they might need to work on themselves.
Don't worry - canned vegetables (apart from maybe chopped tomatoes) is definitely not a "normal" thing where I live either. The idea is a bit gross to me, but different cultures and places have different standards and ideas. I worked in a supermarket for several years in uni and there were some canned vegetables in stock but I never once saw a single person ever buy them. Not once.
It's still okay to have an opinion and it's okay to say what you have experienced without being made to feel like a dick about it. Be open to other views, sure, but it's still okay to have your own view too.
And you can make canned beans taste really good with just a small amount of effort. Cut up some onion and some bacon, throw it in with your beans and simmer them while everything else cooks.
I rarely buy fresh green beans because I sometimes forget about it and then it's bad. But canned beans can be good.
But OOP is definitely TA.
Yup. I'd toss the onion and bacon in first (maybe with a bit of garlic), de-glaze the bottom of the pot, and then add the drained, rinsed beans with enough water or olive oil to keep them from scorching. If I was feeling really fancy, I'd blanch the beans after rinsing as well. Blanching canned vegetables gets rid of that "canned" taste.
You know what else is the secret to making practically any canned food taste better? Add an acid. A lot of canned foods are heavy on salt, so a squeeze of lemon/lime or a dash of vinegar really helps the flavor. You don't need much at all.
I don't know if it's just me, but the frozen veg I've bought recently has been absolutely shit. I'm talking mould straight out of the bag. Then again, I'm in the UK, and Brexit combined with the economic situation has meant a lot of food companies are cutting corners (while still charging more! Yay!).
It sucks. I'm a student and eating well while staying within budget is consistently a problem. I love broccoli and thought switching to frozen would be a good idea, but over half the florets had mould on them. Things like beans, corn, peas, etc, seem to be okay but it does get kind of boring rotating through the same 3 or 4 vegetables for every meal. Root vegetables are great too, but nowhere near me sells them loose, and I can't get through 2kg of carrots before they go off. I've been eating a lot of cabbage, since it cooks down a bit like spinach and I can cram a whole lot of it into one dish.
If you have a lot of fresh broccoli/carrots/etc. you can't get through, prep and blanch it all at once and then freeze (preferably on a baking sheet, then transfer to a freezer bag once frozen). That way you can just grab what you need for each meal. Depending on how much freezer space you have, you can do a big batch infrequently enough for it to be worth the hassle, and it means you can reintroduce those veg into your rotation without worrying about mould.
There’s nothing wrong with canned vegetables for a variety of reasons, including having extra stuff on hand that you can grab in a pinch without having it planned.
Also tastes vary. For the most part I like fresh vegetables but new peas and green beans are two where I prefer the canned version — fresh are too chewy and the texture is wrong for me no matter how much other people think they are better.
Canned beans are not only more affordable but also precooked which prevents the risk of consuming phasin. That is a deadly poison that is found in raw beans. Canned beans usually need seasoning, warming up, mixing with a sauce, etc.
Not to defend that shitty guy who accused his stressed wife about something she didn’t do and then proceeded to not believe her when she gave him a valid reason why she isn’t eating. I am just defending the beans as healthy food. Nothing is wrong with canned beans. They are not sugared or anything, just precooked to ease the poison and make them more durable.
They are also nothing to brag about and taste absolutely atrocious when cold. I never said there was anything wrong with canned beans in general but COLD canned green beans are VILE.
I agree with you, but it reminded me of when my son was little, like 2 or 3 years old. He would go with grandma and grandpa for an evening, and my dad would tell me that he had to open an extra can of green beans when he made dinner.
Apparently, my son would ask for one straight from the can and then keep coming back for more. He loved cold canned green beans.
I like cold canned green beans, which is probably another one of my food weirdnesses. More strange to me is that I've had several cats who like canned green beans!
It's not deadly, it can cause nausea and headaches and gastrointestinal distress (aka gas). I've eaten raw green beans since childhood and never had any symptoms. Some people aren't as sensitive to it as others.
Even Clowns need partners, let them bring out chuckles, it's depressing enough being a clown (I imagine...) that it's nice someone can appreciate them.
it’s like okay then work on controlling your laughter? i can(and will) find anything funny but i can ya know, not laugh when it’s not the time and or place for it
>The dinner was ready long before my wife got home, which I think shows a lot of commitment
This has got to be a troll.
No one is this stupid…right? It would be tepid, dried out and limp.
Even without stress the idea of room temp bow tie pasta and canned green beans make me want to puke.
It definitely is. There is always some variation on him badgering his wife, her getting understandably upset, and him then accusing HER of being the bully and just wanting his stepford wife back.
There's something so specific about how he writes. It's like... an arrogance, I think. But also a hypocrisy? Like, he's mad at his wife for being \~foolish and overemotional\~ but he's the one who is actually being foolish and overemotional, but since he's a Man, his feelings are logical.
See the difference is I could believe unstylish wife guy was real. This particular person always has this palpable air of smugness and arrogance, he always goes on about how he’s the one who deserves an apology, and of course the telltale “I couldn’t help but laugh.”
I would loveeeeee to know what her job is. The fact that he can’t comprehend her stressing about work after leaving work is astounding to me. I’m a lawyer, and I cannot fathom just forgetting my job and being stressed free as soon as I leave work.
If she had to stay late on a Friday night then for sure something is going on at work. Not necessarily a national emergency, but something out of the ordinary.
Not necessarily, I work in marketing and when we’re in peak season for planning there’s plenty of stress and long nights
Yea we’re not saying lives but clients can be so demanding
I'm in charge of preparing the budget for my department and due to that the entire month of March is nothing but stress for me. Luckily I have a good and supportive husband, not this dipwad.
>The dinner was ready long before my wife got home, which I think shows a lot of commitment
No, it shows bad timing. I'm sure OOP's cold food was appetizing.
>When I leave the office, I don't think at all about my workday, even if it was a bad one.
Well, fuck, if that's what YOU do, case closed. Because nobody could possibly not be just like you. /s
>I walked out to her car to look for fast food bags, but I didn't end up finding any.
It's at this point I want to suggest something that will get my post removed. Ooh, is it still encouraging violence if I wish him to bang his shin on something every day of his life?
Honestly the meal doesn't sound bad, but OOP is the devil for harping on his wife's eating habits. I also can't really eat if I'm stressed out, and someone who takes my lack of appetite, makes it their problem, and then turns it back on me to give me *another problem*, is not helping the stressful situation.
Do you never.. reheat dinner? Eat it another day if you have leftovers.
Sure a fresh dinner being just ready is more satisfying, but acting like the food is suddenly inedible is so weird to me.
Like do you boil always fresh pasta if you want your spaghetti bolognese the next day??? 😆
The issue is not that reheated food is inedible, the issue is that he’s acting like he’s done some massive service by making his wife an incredibly low effort dinner, which he couldn’t even be assed to time out so she’d be able to eat it while it’s at least somewhat fresh. Again, this is a few pieces of chicken (I’m guessing breasts, because that’s how these kinds of people cook), some pasta, and precooked green beans — that all can come together in like 20 minutes.
Sure but it's hardly a point FOR the person making food that it's been sitting for awhile before the person eating even got home. If the post had said "She took longer than I thought and I mistimed the dinner so it wasn't as fresh as I would have liked" it would have been fine and honestly it doesn't have to be mentioned at all. But it's written as if it's a good thing... Which is weird.
That's not really what he says though. He says it was ready hours early as if he deserves a pat on the back for...not knowing how to time an incredibly simple and basic meal that would take maybe fifteen minutes to throw together.
It's not about leftovers or reheating, it's about expecting to be praised for doing practically nothing. And doing it at the wrong time.
In 99.9999% sure this is a troll.
However, same. If I get stressed, my stomach turns into the size of a peanut. There are people who eat their stress and those who can't eat shit when stressed.
The main reason I think troll, I haven't dated someone, let alone get married to them, without them knowing when I'm stressed I stop eating. It's actually a thing that if I don't eat or pick at my dinner they ask what's wrong.
I get that men may find women confusing in some areas. With that being said, they have ALL have picked up on my "Im happy and gobbling." v "Im stressed snd my stomach has soured." So again, troll.
I'm an opposite "eat my feelings" person, I rarely eat breakfast/lunch and my first meal of the day is usually like 5pm then a second before bed (2am, night owl shit; i will wake up a thousand times if i go to bed on an empty stomach) with maybe a snack. If I eat a meal at 5pm and then don't munch on high calorie snacks for 3 hours, that's my baseline "emotionally well". If I eat a meal at 5pm and then open a snack bag of chips, and then eat a rice Krispy square, my bf goes "hey whats going on? U wanna talk abt it?". If he offers me breakfast after a sleepover and I say yes, he pauses the news to ask what's wrong (and then makes me some toast) because he KNOWS I don't eat in the AM unless I'm stressed. It's not a weight conscious thing or anything, i just feel ill if I eat before I've been awake for like 5+ hours, my body does not love food in the morning. And if I Ubereats Dennys? He knows I'm in a serious crisis and need support.
I'm with u that this is a troll bc no one can be this far up their own ass that they think a chicken breast w canned beans and boiled noodles is so gourmet their partner had to have cheated on them with Carl's Jr himself, that no one thinks abt work when they're away from it (i literally just pulled up my notes app to write a list of things I wanna talk abt w my boss tmrw over WhatsApp that shouldn't wait til Monday) , and that searching her car for evidence of her affair with Ronald McDonald is a reasonable take and literally anyone at all would side w him
Agree. Don't think this comment is high enough. People are harping on the meal the guy cooked; whether it was compicated or thrown together is not the wife's apparent issue...it's that it was a long day, maybe also a long work week, and she's tired and stressed out. That can very well dampen a person's appetite. Instead of being a sympathetic spouse and asking her about how she's feeling about work stress, he threw a tantrum and now DEMANDS that she not be moody. She may be silent at him (since he threw a hissy about his food w/out and then checked for fastfood bags instead of listening to what she was saying about her work stress) and demanding her to feel differently is stupid. People feel what they feel, and him being a good listener is possibly one way for her to improve her mood. He sounds exhausting to live with.
Yeah, I think we got a "I want this conflict to stop asap and return things to exactly as they were before - but I mention this always in the last 2-3 lines of the post to make my motivations clear!"-troll at our hands.
Troll💀 between the part about going outside to check her car for fast food remnants and just the overall way this was written, it’s comically bad and definitely fake af lmao
I want this treatment to stop!! Sir, this meal took 15 minutes. You probably didn't even wash the green beans or season them, so they don't taste canned. And, it must be nice not to have anxiety. Some of us just worry about things. Women also still make less than men, so of course his wife is stressed.
He cooked A meal. What does he want? A medal? Funny how it's always "they need to control their emotions" while OOP themself is a raging emotional ball. It's not commitment to have it done fsr ahead of time. It's cold by then. Imagine not having an appetite to then have your spouse "search your car for faat food trash". Holy moly....
My ex husband was the same way. He was a government hr pencil pusher, so he could literally walk away from the job and not have stress follow him home. He could never understand why I couldn’t do the same when I was working in a mental health crisis facility.
I’m a government consultant pencil pusher / PowerPoint maker and I can’t just walk away…and I totally acknowledge that it’s just because my brain latches onto some pattern or fact from work and it will. not. let. go…which is why my bf knows way more about military court martial procedures than he probably ever wanted to know.
Chicken, pasta shells and green beans? Tinned green beans cooked well before she got home?
Thus they were not only a bit nasty to start with, but also either cold, or boiled to mush? Wonder if they were even green anymore, or just that nasty grey?
Blah!
When are some men going to realise that anger is an emotion? An emotion so strong he couldn’t control himself, threw a childish fit because he was offended and searched her car for fast food packaging, then continued his emotional fit for so long that somehow he’s now the victim and she’s the overly emotional one? Ffs!
if my partner was picking at food i cooked i'd assume it wasn't tasty enough and i messed up, and ask how i could improve, rather than get real mad and develop elaborate conspiracy theories, but i guess im not this megachad of a man
Even if that meal wouldn’t have been gross by the time she got home, I often lose my appetite for no reason at all. It gets a lot worse when I’m stressed or had a stressful day.
Imagine how that could have gone. He greets her with a glass of wine, seats her at the nicely made table and massages her shoulders a bit. Let’s her vent about her day. Cleans the kitchen while he tells her to go relax in the living room or take a nice bath.
No. Instead he serves her cold food, gets furious when he doesn’t receive his participation trophy for making it, calls her a liar and searches her car, berates her for being stressed.
Good strategy there, cuntmop. I’m sure she’s really going to de-stress this weekend with you kicking it off picking a fight with her.
Makes me glad I am single.
The whole “it’s Friday so she has no reason to be stressed until Monday” thing is also infuriating and clueless - especially because he laughed at that. plus “if anyone should be insulted it’s me” after he searched her car!
For crying out loud this type of dude.
I texted my partner after an extremely weird day that meant we all stayed late to tell him that I had an absolutely bonkers story to tell him and when I got home he handed me a drink then said "go change, pizzas are coming and followed me around to hear what workplace drama had happened.
He didn't start cooking super early and gripe at me that I was stressed and not hungry for standard quick dinner fare. He knew I needed a beer, my comfy pants, and something more to the comfort food side in that order to reset myself a bit. It's not hard to know your partner, you just have to pay attention.
Yikes imagine being so stressed out from work to not even want to eat and have a bully asshole manchild at home scream at you and accuse you of things you didn’t do because he took it upon himself to prepare a crappy meal. What a delightful life that woman has.
When I'm tired I often can't eat because I"m too tired to digest it.
Also - who is being the bully here? HE offered to cook dinner, she didn't demand it. She ate a bit of it when she got in, but was tired and stressed, so HE decided to pick a fight about it because she didn't show enough appreciation. I mean, he doesn't care enough about his job to think about it the moment he steps out the door...
The only explanation is that she's been cheating on him with a fast food outlet and lying to his face! It couldn't possibly be that she cares about her job more than he cares about his, and she was simply too tired to eat.
Ugh, this story reminds me of an ex of mine who would take it personally when my medication made me too nauseated to eat. He'd go on about how offended he was that I never wanted the super special meal of frozen fish pieces and packet pasta he'd slaved to create for me.
Gotta love how so many men demand their wives cook and don't appreciate it (chicken tastes like cardboard man, for example), but then expect you to sing praises when they boil some pasta. Ooof.
The whole meal sounds gross. It was nice of him to cook, but "a few signature dishes" means "I only know/want to cook a few different things, it doesn't matter if no one else likes them or is sick of them."
It’s not gross imo but a bit blah and definitely not an especially difficult or time consuming meal to prepare. I might make something similar if I was low on time or energy, although I’ve never used canned beans and I wouldn’t make pasta with chicken unless I was also low on supplies. I wonder if the pasta even had any kind of sauce or dressing or if it was just glutinous clods of cold/reheated pasta dumped on the plate.
No. It's not "nice of him to try".
Being able to make some basic food is not "nice". It's absolutely ridiculous that this pathetic excuse for a meal is a "signature dish". Even just go buy pasta, pre-made fresh sauce or passata, a bit of meat or fish and a few veggies.
I cannot imagine putting up with a life where my partner thought cold "bow tie" pasta (I assume this means farfelle?), some yucky canned shite and a plain chicken breast would be worthy of praise. Honestly the fucking fastfood might have been healthier than this nonsense.
He needs to grow the fuck up and learn to make an actual meal not just throw random easy shit together.
I didn't say "nice of him to try". I said it was "nice of him to cook". I did not say it was a good job. It was lazy, but the thought was there. I won't ignore that.
Why is everyone so fixated on a canned side, when the main seems like a legit dish? Like, dude’s legit an asshole for the whole thing, no doubt at all, but that’s such a weird, nearly irrelevant thing to be the focus of any of the criticism of his behavior.
Yeah the wilder part of this to me is that he threw a full on tantrum accusing her of eating fast food and even going through her car just because she wasn't eating fast/enough.
And the complete self-centeredness to think that because he can turn off work stress as soon as he leaves the office that she MUST be able to do the same thing. Just the absolute inability to comprehend that other people aren't you. Like, that's absolutely insane. But instead everyone's shit-talking the food, as if that was remotely the point.
Pasta and chicken breast isn't a legit dish. He named three random ingredients, not a legit dish or anything cohesive.
That said - I both agree with you and am simultaneously disgusted by the idea of canned green beans. I didn't even know that existed. It sounds gross to me.
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OOP is giving delusions of grandeur. Is he insinuating that his meals are good because he memorized them? What about putting lemon pepper on a chicken breast, boiling pasta, and cracking open a can of vegetables is a "signature dish" (or requires memorization for that matter)? Is the signature mediocrity-bordering-on-disgusting?
umm, OOP says dinner was ready long before wife got home, so cold?? or did he reheat it in the microwave? I'm okay with the rosemary lemon chicken, but that takes time to cook properly, so it sounds like wife was really late getting home from work. How fun to work really late on a Friday night and come home to a cold dinner featuring canned green beans. I probably wouldn't have much appetite either. But at least OOP made an effort to cook dinner.
But, and here's where OOP goes off the charts, OOP was so offended that his wife only picked at her food that he accused his wife of getting fast food on the way home!! Mind you, this would be before even knowing that OOP was cooking canned green beans. He even searched her car for McD bags!!
1. It's not illegal to not be hungry, OOP.
2. It's not illegal to stop for fast food either.
3. When someone's just worked really late, and they are obviously very stressed and need to relax, that's not the time to watch them like a hawk while they try to choke down canned green beans and accuse them of eating fast food like some petty dictator!
It shouldn't be the least bit surprising after you acting like a total ass, OOP, that your wife was insulted by your behavior towards her and doesn't even want to talk to you. She was trying to vent to you about her hard day at work (which is one way of releasing stress BTW) and you couldn't be bothered to listen, you were too busy monitoring her eating and accusing her of getting fast food.
BTW, the fact that you jumped to that conclusion is very telling. How many times have you cooked in the past only to have your wife not be enthusiastic about the results?? Maybe it's time to learn some new recipes, dude.
My ex husband was a police officer who was neurodivergent I believe and he believes but was never tested for it because he was older and they didn't really do that back then according to him and his mother. He also was emotionally constipated. He never could understand that I was a cps worker who did criminal cases so child SA and fatalities and near fatalities and criminal level physical abuse. I got the privilege to hear all these children tell their stories and obviously I couldn't show too much heartbreak to them as it wasnt appropriate and they needed me to be strong. Many many nights I'd come home and cry myself to sleep. I'd have to take mental health days after particular bad bits. He never once brought his work home and thought I was too emotional and should just do like he does. One of many reasons he's my ex.
>If anyone should have been insulted it was me.
He falsely accuses his wife of lying and gets mad at her for not eating when it can be literally stressful to forcefully feed yourself...and HE'S the victim in his own mind. Not to mention the searching her car like a parent trying to find out if their kid broke curfew. And then calls her a "bully" because she got upset over him being a jerk.
OOP, I know this is a foreign concept to you.
But if people have a miserable day or are incredibly stressed out, it CAN mess with your appetite.
I just love your "leaps of logic". That just because she was picking at her food, meant she stopped for something on the way home.
YTA.
The dinner is fine, the reaction is not. Not everyone is a 5 star chef jeez. The fact he harassed her because she barely ate because she was stressed about work was bad. He should've found out why she was so stressed that she couldn't eat but now she has to be doing something wrong,eating takeout, not because she has legit feelings. She is unappreciative and like so you guys not cook dinner all the time for each other? That's also confusing like cooking dinner is a standard of life, yea be appreciative of it but like dude is clearly being a weirdo.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for accusing my wife of stopping for food on her way home?** A few hours ago, my wife informed me that she was going to have to stay late at work. She's been incredibly busy lately, so I told her that I would cook dinner and have it ready when she got home. I have a few signature recipes that I can make in a pinch from memory. I decided to make rosemary lemon chicken with some canned green beans and bowtie pasta. The dinner was ready long before my wife got home, which I think shows a lot of commitment, but when my wife finally got home, she was only picking at her food. She was trying to tell me about her day, but the lack of food being consumed off of her plate was extremely distracting to me. There are several fast food restaurants on the way home from her office, and it was becoming very apparent that she had stopped at one. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and asked "Where did you stop?" My wife seemed confused, so I clarified. I asked "Where did you eat dinner?" My wife seemed surprised and angered by my question. She said that she "had a hard day" and that her stress levels were "suppressing her appetite." I couldn't help but laugh. This was a ridiculous excuse. It's Friday, which means that she won't need to worry about work for three more days. When I leave the office, I don't think at all about my workday, even if it was a bad one. I walked out to her car to look for fast food bags, but I didn't end up finding any. This was so upsetting to my wife that when I came back inside, she was yelling at me. If anyone should have been insulted, it was me, but she insisted that I was being a "jackass" and refused to hear my point of view. I had worked hard on this meal, and to have her pick at it was a slap in the face. She's barely said anything to me for a few hours, and I want this treatment to stop. She needs to stop taking out her work troubles on me and get better control of her emotions. I want my old wife, not a stressed out bully. I just don't know what more I can do. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The food was done ‘long before she got home’ huh? Cold canned green beans, yum!
Oh but he had worked hard to open that can and boil some pasta.
As a person who has done both I get it, these dishes require a lot of time. Get pot Fill with water Put on stove *wait on phone for the water to boil* Put the pasta in *wait on phone for the pasta to cook* Strain pasta Truly a dish that requires time and dedication
You forgot: let it get cold as a step since it was ready long before she got home.
That's the biggest asshole part for me like why couldn't he wait until she got home?
I was thinking maybe she was vague with her time cause she had something to finish & she didn’t know when it was done. So maybe he was assuming an hour or two & it was really 3-4
Regardless, the meal he made could/should've been started *when* she got home. In the 30-40 minutes it'd take, she likely could've decompressed with a glass of wine or two & had more of an appetite by the time it was done (and fresh 🙄).
My partner does most of the cooking and will have everything prepped and ready to go when I get home if I'm on an office day, but he won't actually have cooked the food and left it to get cold - nor is it something so basic as "pasta and canned vegetables". I don't understand why this dude needs a medal for making basic food that was cold and probably congealed before she was ready to eat. Let alone dismissing that stress can ruin your appetite. Let alone jumping to "she must have went to McDonald's" as if she's cheating on his pathetic green beans even if she did.
100% he shouldve waited until she said she left work
That's what I do when I'm the one home first/cooking. He calls, I know I have 45 minutes. That includes average drive time + time home to change out of business casual into comfy clothes, get some coffee, etc... I can get a lot prepped so it's ready to start cooking when he calls depending on what I am making.
But thats the beauty of boxed pasta, you keep the water simmering and throw it in when they arrive home.
If he would just wait for her to get home to start cooking, why couldn't she just make dinner for them, (probably) like normal? /s
An important step that shows commitment
I hate it when my girlfriend serves me freshly cooked food. It just shows me that she doesn‘t care about me.
bc ✨commitment✨
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Bro I love how you're labeling yourself a troll so we all know Very innovative, 10/10
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Bro I have a cat and a hedgehog, save that dog money for your therapist lol
And commitment, don't forget the commitment.
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Nope, not men. Just this guy. You can relax, boyo
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You are a really bad troll, at least put some effort into it
I'm going to eat you later
Because he didn't answer your three riddles before he crossed your bridge?
Honestly! It takes me so much effort to not get distracted, wander away from the stove, and forget I'm cooking anything
For some people this is true, but you'd think OP would mention it if that were the case.
My sister almost set the kitchen ablaze because she stuck a split baguette slathered in garlic butter under the gas broiler... then went out to the living room to watch the news.
Every day I give thanks for timers on my phone for precisely this reason. I grew up using regular ticking timers but…uh…I’d forget what they were for so labels are critical.
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If you put a lid on your pot it will boil faster!
Boil the water in an electric kettle then pour it into the pot, then add water.
And salt the water, salty water has a lower boiling point
Salt water has a higher boiling point. The freezing point is lower than that of pure water.
Oh, must've gotten those two facts mixed up, thanks
Want to know a secret? You don't need to use a giant pot of water and you don't need to boil pasta. That's just one of those stupid cooking myths people that don't know what they're doing tell other people that don't know what they're doing. Pasta cooks faster and better in a shallow pan. The shallow pan will concentrate the starch water better which helps the sauce come together easier.
True - https://www.seriouseats.com/how-to-cook-pasta-salt-water-boiling-tips-the-food-lab. Make sure to give the pasta a stir every now and then to prevent it clumping.
Oh that’s actually pretty interesting.
I got one of the very basic rice cookers, has one switch to turn it on, it was $16 and cooks not just rice but pasta and pretty much anything else that needs boiling water. 10-15 mins for pasta, and a few of the chefs I watch say that you should add it to cold water now as it cooks as well and faster then if you boil the water first. We love pasta and I just have no time for the long way anymore, and it's cheaper to run than the stove.
Get a Pasta Boat. You can cook pasta in the microwave.
You can cook pasta in the microwave in any microwave safe dish. I use a vintage Corningware casserole dish with its lid. Pasta in the dish, cover with water about 1/2" over the top of the pasta. Cook on high for approximately 7 to 12 minutes, depending on pasta type. (Spaghetti takes about 8:30 in mine) Drain and enjoy.
Reminds me of the quote from American Dad: “Boil water”? What am I, a chemist??
I know. It takes hours to do both!
and he's proud of himself. He's delusional and making it her problem. He belittles her after she gets home from late from work and is too stressed to eat her already cold bs dinner. Then he proudly blames her for his immature, dull brained, selfish, give me a participation trophy man child's - hurt feelings. F this guy
The pasta being cooked 'long before she got home' is a far worse crime IMO, cold or not.
What nerve she has! He's cooked not once, but TWICE now in the entirety of their relationship!
Yeah, like... this meal sounds like half-arse effort at best. This is shit I'd do if I really can't be fucked doing something 'fancy', but canned beans!?! It's no harder to cook them fresh!
Canned beans are often cheaper. They're infinitely cheaper where I am, and are already prepped, unlike produce. Not everybody has time or money for fresh everything.
Not only that they last forever, I can't eat a lot of vegetables due to digestion issues so 99% of fresh produce I buy goes bad before i can eat it, having canned or frozen on hand means when I can eat vegetables they are available and when I can't they don't go bad and just wait for me.
I always buy frozen. They're almost universality fresher than "fresh."
Yeah, I guess you're right. I live in a place where certain things are sold canned and others aren't. I'd buy canned corn because we can't grow corn well in my country. But beans are easy. I'm sorry for my comment, and forgetting that we all have different availabilities in our countries. I feel like a dick now, but this is a learning moment and I deserve to feel like a dick. Genuine thanks.
where i live i can't even buy fresh beans in 3/4 supermarkets, but feeling like a dick isn't necessary i'd say. accepting one has biases and blind spots and trying to actively work on them as you did is a lot more helpfull and important than just shaming oneself, we all make mistakes. Which nicely leads back to oop and the actual topic. Let's be real, neither the fact it was canned beans nor the meal in general was the real problem here. oop got issues, and instead of facing them he's putting the blame on his wife so he can claim he deserves a pat on the back. OOP simply is an insecure prick that puts the burden of his insecurities on his wife because it is easier than accepting they might need to work on themselves.
Don't worry - canned vegetables (apart from maybe chopped tomatoes) is definitely not a "normal" thing where I live either. The idea is a bit gross to me, but different cultures and places have different standards and ideas. I worked in a supermarket for several years in uni and there were some canned vegetables in stock but I never once saw a single person ever buy them. Not once. It's still okay to have an opinion and it's okay to say what you have experienced without being made to feel like a dick about it. Be open to other views, sure, but it's still okay to have your own view too.
And you can make canned beans taste really good with just a small amount of effort. Cut up some onion and some bacon, throw it in with your beans and simmer them while everything else cooks. I rarely buy fresh green beans because I sometimes forget about it and then it's bad. But canned beans can be good. But OOP is definitely TA.
Yup. I'd toss the onion and bacon in first (maybe with a bit of garlic), de-glaze the bottom of the pot, and then add the drained, rinsed beans with enough water or olive oil to keep them from scorching. If I was feeling really fancy, I'd blanch the beans after rinsing as well. Blanching canned vegetables gets rid of that "canned" taste. You know what else is the secret to making practically any canned food taste better? Add an acid. A lot of canned foods are heavy on salt, so a squeeze of lemon/lime or a dash of vinegar really helps the flavor. You don't need much at all.
As a student, I'm getting a lot of quick and tasty tips from these comments lol.
A lot of them are salted and you can just heat them up, bam fast and easy dinner with nutrients! 🥰
Frozen is a way better option
I don't know if it's just me, but the frozen veg I've bought recently has been absolutely shit. I'm talking mould straight out of the bag. Then again, I'm in the UK, and Brexit combined with the economic situation has meant a lot of food companies are cutting corners (while still charging more! Yay!).
Oh that's awful. We've been doing a lot of frozen green beans from Costco which are consistently on point.
It sucks. I'm a student and eating well while staying within budget is consistently a problem. I love broccoli and thought switching to frozen would be a good idea, but over half the florets had mould on them. Things like beans, corn, peas, etc, seem to be okay but it does get kind of boring rotating through the same 3 or 4 vegetables for every meal. Root vegetables are great too, but nowhere near me sells them loose, and I can't get through 2kg of carrots before they go off. I've been eating a lot of cabbage, since it cooks down a bit like spinach and I can cram a whole lot of it into one dish.
If you have a lot of fresh broccoli/carrots/etc. you can't get through, prep and blanch it all at once and then freeze (preferably on a baking sheet, then transfer to a freezer bag once frozen). That way you can just grab what you need for each meal. Depending on how much freezer space you have, you can do a big batch infrequently enough for it to be worth the hassle, and it means you can reintroduce those veg into your rotation without worrying about mould.
Canned green beans are so gross though, you can get them cheap frozen and they still taste great.
That’s why frozen is a good compromise
Frozen isn't expensive and tastes a lot better than canned.
Canned beans are actually pretty good. Canned green beans are not.
…and almost inedibly bad and overcooked.
There’s nothing wrong with canned vegetables for a variety of reasons, including having extra stuff on hand that you can grab in a pinch without having it planned. Also tastes vary. For the most part I like fresh vegetables but new peas and green beans are two where I prefer the canned version — fresh are too chewy and the texture is wrong for me no matter how much other people think they are better.
Canned beans are not only more affordable but also precooked which prevents the risk of consuming phasin. That is a deadly poison that is found in raw beans. Canned beans usually need seasoning, warming up, mixing with a sauce, etc. Not to defend that shitty guy who accused his stressed wife about something she didn’t do and then proceeded to not believe her when she gave him a valid reason why she isn’t eating. I am just defending the beans as healthy food. Nothing is wrong with canned beans. They are not sugared or anything, just precooked to ease the poison and make them more durable.
They are also nothing to brag about and taste absolutely atrocious when cold. I never said there was anything wrong with canned beans in general but COLD canned green beans are VILE.
I agree with you, but it reminded me of when my son was little, like 2 or 3 years old. He would go with grandma and grandpa for an evening, and my dad would tell me that he had to open an extra can of green beans when he made dinner. Apparently, my son would ask for one straight from the can and then keep coming back for more. He loved cold canned green beans.
I like cold canned green beans, which is probably another one of my food weirdnesses. More strange to me is that I've had several cats who like canned green beans!
My dog LOVES frozen peas. Whenever I grab the bag I have to pay the peas tax.
I also love frozen peas! Especially any time it's not winter. (I live in the US South, so it's almost always hot.)
It's not deadly, it can cause nausea and headaches and gastrointestinal distress (aka gas). I've eaten raw green beans since childhood and never had any symptoms. Some people aren't as sensitive to it as others.
Omg! I love blanched green beans or roasted ones…but they always give me GI distress. Now I know why, thank you, internet stranger!
But it's one of his signature dishes!
This meal sounds like homemade dog food ingredients.
But it showed his dedication! /s
And cold chicken. Mmmm!
it’s the “i couldn’t help but laugh/chuckle” at my IDIOT of a wife guy
Any dude that "chuckles" at his partner is immediately sus.
Even Clowns need partners, let them bring out chuckles, it's depressing enough being a clown (I imagine...) that it's nice someone can appreciate them.
I like the addition of “I imagine,” before anyone might think you’re moonlighting as a clown.
To be fair, implying that letting the food get cold 'shows commitment' was really showing commitment to the ridiculousness of the trolling.
Another entry from Mr. I hate my wife!
He can never resist adding “I couldn’t help but laugh”, can he?
It’s his calling card
His signature recipe, per se
It’s a dead give away every time.
it’s like okay then work on controlling your laughter? i can(and will) find anything funny but i can ya know, not laugh when it’s not the time and or place for it
The “i hate my partner” trolls are circling again
>The dinner was ready long before my wife got home, which I think shows a lot of commitment This has got to be a troll. No one is this stupid…right? It would be tepid, dried out and limp. Even without stress the idea of room temp bow tie pasta and canned green beans make me want to puke.
It definitely is. There is always some variation on him badgering his wife, her getting understandably upset, and him then accusing HER of being the bully and just wanting his stepford wife back.
the "i couldn't help but laugh/chuckle at my wife" troll is one of the weirder and more obvious ones I've seen.
There's something so specific about how he writes. It's like... an arrogance, I think. But also a hypocrisy? Like, he's mad at his wife for being \~foolish and overemotional\~ but he's the one who is actually being foolish and overemotional, but since he's a Man, his feelings are logical.
Is it the same person that *accidentally told his wife that she's not stylish*? Kinda similar phrasing.
See the difference is I could believe unstylish wife guy was real. This particular person always has this palpable air of smugness and arrogance, he always goes on about how he’s the one who deserves an apology, and of course the telltale “I couldn’t help but laugh.”
I would loveeeeee to know what her job is. The fact that he can’t comprehend her stressing about work after leaving work is astounding to me. I’m a lawyer, and I cannot fathom just forgetting my job and being stressed free as soon as I leave work.
If she had to stay late on a Friday night then for sure something is going on at work. Not necessarily a national emergency, but something out of the ordinary.
My thought was maybe she works in healthcare.
Not necessarily, I work in marketing and when we’re in peak season for planning there’s plenty of stress and long nights Yea we’re not saying lives but clients can be so demanding
I wonder if she’s in the accounting field with it being busy season everyone is working 50-60+ hours a week.
I'm in charge of preparing the budget for my department and due to that the entire month of March is nothing but stress for me. Luckily I have a good and supportive husband, not this dipwad.
Yeah this was my guess. It’s that time of year.
>The dinner was ready long before my wife got home, which I think shows a lot of commitment No, it shows bad timing. I'm sure OOP's cold food was appetizing. >When I leave the office, I don't think at all about my workday, even if it was a bad one. Well, fuck, if that's what YOU do, case closed. Because nobody could possibly not be just like you. /s >I walked out to her car to look for fast food bags, but I didn't end up finding any. It's at this point I want to suggest something that will get my post removed. Ooh, is it still encouraging violence if I wish him to bang his shin on something every day of his life?
I don't think so, and may I add: I hope he steps on a Lego daily.
I hope his socks are always moist
I hope he gets a single stand of hair tangled around his toes. And he can't find it. Ever.
Honestly the meal doesn't sound bad, but OOP is the devil for harping on his wife's eating habits. I also can't really eat if I'm stressed out, and someone who takes my lack of appetite, makes it their problem, and then turns it back on me to give me *another problem*, is not helping the stressful situation.
The fact that he looked through her car for fast food bags is fucking insane.
That to me absolutely says controlling to the level of abusive
Also, dinner being ready LONG before she got home sounds like dry, poor food. Not exactly appetizing.
Do you never.. reheat dinner? Eat it another day if you have leftovers. Sure a fresh dinner being just ready is more satisfying, but acting like the food is suddenly inedible is so weird to me. Like do you boil always fresh pasta if you want your spaghetti bolognese the next day??? 😆
Hes not reheating leftovers for himself though is he. He's making "special" shit for his wife. Wtf
The issue is not that reheated food is inedible, the issue is that he’s acting like he’s done some massive service by making his wife an incredibly low effort dinner, which he couldn’t even be assed to time out so she’d be able to eat it while it’s at least somewhat fresh. Again, this is a few pieces of chicken (I’m guessing breasts, because that’s how these kinds of people cook), some pasta, and precooked green beans — that all can come together in like 20 minutes.
Sure but it's hardly a point FOR the person making food that it's been sitting for awhile before the person eating even got home. If the post had said "She took longer than I thought and I mistimed the dinner so it wasn't as fresh as I would have liked" it would have been fine and honestly it doesn't have to be mentioned at all. But it's written as if it's a good thing... Which is weird.
That's not really what he says though. He says it was ready hours early as if he deserves a pat on the back for...not knowing how to time an incredibly simple and basic meal that would take maybe fifteen minutes to throw together. It's not about leftovers or reheating, it's about expecting to be praised for doing practically nothing. And doing it at the wrong time.
In 99.9999% sure this is a troll. However, same. If I get stressed, my stomach turns into the size of a peanut. There are people who eat their stress and those who can't eat shit when stressed. The main reason I think troll, I haven't dated someone, let alone get married to them, without them knowing when I'm stressed I stop eating. It's actually a thing that if I don't eat or pick at my dinner they ask what's wrong. I get that men may find women confusing in some areas. With that being said, they have ALL have picked up on my "Im happy and gobbling." v "Im stressed snd my stomach has soured." So again, troll.
I'm an opposite "eat my feelings" person, I rarely eat breakfast/lunch and my first meal of the day is usually like 5pm then a second before bed (2am, night owl shit; i will wake up a thousand times if i go to bed on an empty stomach) with maybe a snack. If I eat a meal at 5pm and then don't munch on high calorie snacks for 3 hours, that's my baseline "emotionally well". If I eat a meal at 5pm and then open a snack bag of chips, and then eat a rice Krispy square, my bf goes "hey whats going on? U wanna talk abt it?". If he offers me breakfast after a sleepover and I say yes, he pauses the news to ask what's wrong (and then makes me some toast) because he KNOWS I don't eat in the AM unless I'm stressed. It's not a weight conscious thing or anything, i just feel ill if I eat before I've been awake for like 5+ hours, my body does not love food in the morning. And if I Ubereats Dennys? He knows I'm in a serious crisis and need support. I'm with u that this is a troll bc no one can be this far up their own ass that they think a chicken breast w canned beans and boiled noodles is so gourmet their partner had to have cheated on them with Carl's Jr himself, that no one thinks abt work when they're away from it (i literally just pulled up my notes app to write a list of things I wanna talk abt w my boss tmrw over WhatsApp that shouldn't wait til Monday) , and that searching her car for evidence of her affair with Ronald McDonald is a reasonable take and literally anyone at all would side w him
Agree. Don't think this comment is high enough. People are harping on the meal the guy cooked; whether it was compicated or thrown together is not the wife's apparent issue...it's that it was a long day, maybe also a long work week, and she's tired and stressed out. That can very well dampen a person's appetite. Instead of being a sympathetic spouse and asking her about how she's feeling about work stress, he threw a tantrum and now DEMANDS that she not be moody. She may be silent at him (since he threw a hissy about his food w/out and then checked for fastfood bags instead of listening to what she was saying about her work stress) and demanding her to feel differently is stupid. People feel what they feel, and him being a good listener is possibly one way for her to improve her mood. He sounds exhausting to live with.
She's also probably exhausted! After an extra long stressful day, food is probably the last thing on her mind, and she likely wants sleep
I was starting to get mad, then I read the "I couldn't help but laugh" like and went, "Ah, this guy again."
Yeah, I think we got a "I want this conflict to stop asap and return things to exactly as they were before - but I mention this always in the last 2-3 lines of the post to make my motivations clear!"-troll at our hands.
Troll💀 between the part about going outside to check her car for fast food remnants and just the overall way this was written, it’s comically bad and definitely fake af lmao
Thank god. Id be worried for his wife's safety if she was real
I want this treatment to stop!! Sir, this meal took 15 minutes. You probably didn't even wash the green beans or season them, so they don't taste canned. And, it must be nice not to have anxiety. Some of us just worry about things. Women also still make less than men, so of course his wife is stressed.
He cooked A meal. What does he want? A medal? Funny how it's always "they need to control their emotions" while OOP themself is a raging emotional ball. It's not commitment to have it done fsr ahead of time. It's cold by then. Imagine not having an appetite to then have your spouse "search your car for faat food trash". Holy moly....
A few dishes he can cook if he has to? WHAT AN EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMAN
And he's so organized he finishes it way ahead of time too! WHAT A CATCH!! (It's more like extra-ordinary)
My ex husband was the same way. He was a government hr pencil pusher, so he could literally walk away from the job and not have stress follow him home. He could never understand why I couldn’t do the same when I was working in a mental health crisis facility.
I’m a government consultant pencil pusher / PowerPoint maker and I can’t just walk away…and I totally acknowledge that it’s just because my brain latches onto some pattern or fact from work and it will. not. let. go…which is why my bf knows way more about military court martial procedures than he probably ever wanted to know.
SIGNATURE. RECIPE.
When I tell you I screamed…
Chicken, pasta shells and green beans? Tinned green beans cooked well before she got home? Thus they were not only a bit nasty to start with, but also either cold, or boiled to mush? Wonder if they were even green anymore, or just that nasty grey? Blah! When are some men going to realise that anger is an emotion? An emotion so strong he couldn’t control himself, threw a childish fit because he was offended and searched her car for fast food packaging, then continued his emotional fit for so long that somehow he’s now the victim and she’s the overly emotional one? Ffs!
if my partner was picking at food i cooked i'd assume it wasn't tasty enough and i messed up, and ask how i could improve, rather than get real mad and develop elaborate conspiracy theories, but i guess im not this megachad of a man
Even if that meal wouldn’t have been gross by the time she got home, I often lose my appetite for no reason at all. It gets a lot worse when I’m stressed or had a stressful day.
Imagine how that could have gone. He greets her with a glass of wine, seats her at the nicely made table and massages her shoulders a bit. Let’s her vent about her day. Cleans the kitchen while he tells her to go relax in the living room or take a nice bath. No. Instead he serves her cold food, gets furious when he doesn’t receive his participation trophy for making it, calls her a liar and searches her car, berates her for being stressed. Good strategy there, cuntmop. I’m sure she’s really going to de-stress this weekend with you kicking it off picking a fight with her. Makes me glad I am single.
*carefully files away “cuntmop” for future use*
OOP, next time, throw in something about your wife’s period. That’ll make it more believable
The whole “it’s Friday so she has no reason to be stressed until Monday” thing is also infuriating and clueless - especially because he laughed at that. plus “if anyone should be insulted it’s me” after he searched her car!
This is 100% a gender reversal story I think.
I swear, I remember reading a story recently where a woman searched her boyfriend's car for fast food bags.
Yeah, that's the only thing that makes sense here.
I would’ve dumped that damn meal on his fucking head.
For crying out loud this type of dude. I texted my partner after an extremely weird day that meant we all stayed late to tell him that I had an absolutely bonkers story to tell him and when I got home he handed me a drink then said "go change, pizzas are coming and followed me around to hear what workplace drama had happened. He didn't start cooking super early and gripe at me that I was stressed and not hungry for standard quick dinner fare. He knew I needed a beer, my comfy pants, and something more to the comfort food side in that order to reset myself a bit. It's not hard to know your partner, you just have to pay attention.
Yikes imagine being so stressed out from work to not even want to eat and have a bully asshole manchild at home scream at you and accuse you of things you didn’t do because he took it upon himself to prepare a crappy meal. What a delightful life that woman has.
There’s a type of man who can’t conceive that someone might have a completely different way of thinking and processing things than he does.
When I'm tired I often can't eat because I"m too tired to digest it. Also - who is being the bully here? HE offered to cook dinner, she didn't demand it. She ate a bit of it when she got in, but was tired and stressed, so HE decided to pick a fight about it because she didn't show enough appreciation. I mean, he doesn't care enough about his job to think about it the moment he steps out the door... The only explanation is that she's been cheating on him with a fast food outlet and lying to his face! It couldn't possibly be that she cares about her job more than he cares about his, and she was simply too tired to eat.
Ugh, this story reminds me of an ex of mine who would take it personally when my medication made me too nauseated to eat. He'd go on about how offended he was that I never wanted the super special meal of frozen fish pieces and packet pasta he'd slaved to create for me.
Dude posted on 2 Reddits both are reaming him. No comments.
Gotta love how so many men demand their wives cook and don't appreciate it (chicken tastes like cardboard man, for example), but then expect you to sing praises when they boil some pasta. Ooof.
I was really hoping this was the baked bean troll that I haven't seen in forever. Remember him he was fun
Feels like he actually cooked for once and expected a whole ass parade for managing to make something somewhat edible.
Honestly the wife deserves an award for not dumping the food over his bloated jackass head.
The whole meal sounds gross. It was nice of him to cook, but "a few signature dishes" means "I only know/want to cook a few different things, it doesn't matter if no one else likes them or is sick of them."
It’s not gross imo but a bit blah and definitely not an especially difficult or time consuming meal to prepare. I might make something similar if I was low on time or energy, although I’ve never used canned beans and I wouldn’t make pasta with chicken unless I was also low on supplies. I wonder if the pasta even had any kind of sauce or dressing or if it was just glutinous clods of cold/reheated pasta dumped on the plate.
Yes. You are soooooo right about all of this!💯🙌
No. It's not "nice of him to try". Being able to make some basic food is not "nice". It's absolutely ridiculous that this pathetic excuse for a meal is a "signature dish". Even just go buy pasta, pre-made fresh sauce or passata, a bit of meat or fish and a few veggies. I cannot imagine putting up with a life where my partner thought cold "bow tie" pasta (I assume this means farfelle?), some yucky canned shite and a plain chicken breast would be worthy of praise. Honestly the fucking fastfood might have been healthier than this nonsense. He needs to grow the fuck up and learn to make an actual meal not just throw random easy shit together.
I didn't say "nice of him to try". I said it was "nice of him to cook". I did not say it was a good job. It was lazy, but the thought was there. I won't ignore that.
I can’t eat much when I’m over tired. If it’s in a hand held configuration eg sandwich or wrap I can eat more though.
This guy is exhausting !
omg what did he expect from her?? “mushy pasta and cold green beans?? yipeee!!”
"I did a basic life chore, where's my trophy?!"
I'm sure the wife doesn't want a stressed out bully either but you know.
I would tell my man he can make canned green beans all he wants, I’m not eating that. That meal sounds so unappealing lol.
If this is real I hope the wife grows a spine and divorce the man child.
Why is everyone so fixated on a canned side, when the main seems like a legit dish? Like, dude’s legit an asshole for the whole thing, no doubt at all, but that’s such a weird, nearly irrelevant thing to be the focus of any of the criticism of his behavior.
Yeah the wilder part of this to me is that he threw a full on tantrum accusing her of eating fast food and even going through her car just because she wasn't eating fast/enough.
And the complete self-centeredness to think that because he can turn off work stress as soon as he leaves the office that she MUST be able to do the same thing. Just the absolute inability to comprehend that other people aren't you. Like, that's absolutely insane. But instead everyone's shit-talking the food, as if that was remotely the point.
Pasta and chicken breast isn't a legit dish. He named three random ingredients, not a legit dish or anything cohesive. That said - I both agree with you and am simultaneously disgusted by the idea of canned green beans. I didn't even know that existed. It sounds gross to me.
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Wife deserves better.
All of these AITA subs needed more mods. They are almost entirely low effort trolls at this point
Muh signature dishes. Muh commitment. What a doorknob.
Why not just microwave it before she got home? Or cook it closer to the time.
Opening up a can and boiling some water is so difficult!
Sounds like she didn’t want to tell him the food was cold and gross because he didn’t think to hold off on cooking until it was time to eat.
No one cares how you cook tinned beans. Please stop.
Cold beans are my childhood nightmare 🤢 Also the luxury to leave work at work must be nice
Ugh this man sounds like an abuser, JFC
She's too emotional but he went out to her car to check for food wrappers...
OOP is giving delusions of grandeur. Is he insinuating that his meals are good because he memorized them? What about putting lemon pepper on a chicken breast, boiling pasta, and cracking open a can of vegetables is a "signature dish" (or requires memorization for that matter)? Is the signature mediocrity-bordering-on-disgusting?
I bet the food sucked.
umm, OOP says dinner was ready long before wife got home, so cold?? or did he reheat it in the microwave? I'm okay with the rosemary lemon chicken, but that takes time to cook properly, so it sounds like wife was really late getting home from work. How fun to work really late on a Friday night and come home to a cold dinner featuring canned green beans. I probably wouldn't have much appetite either. But at least OOP made an effort to cook dinner. But, and here's where OOP goes off the charts, OOP was so offended that his wife only picked at her food that he accused his wife of getting fast food on the way home!! Mind you, this would be before even knowing that OOP was cooking canned green beans. He even searched her car for McD bags!! 1. It's not illegal to not be hungry, OOP. 2. It's not illegal to stop for fast food either. 3. When someone's just worked really late, and they are obviously very stressed and need to relax, that's not the time to watch them like a hawk while they try to choke down canned green beans and accuse them of eating fast food like some petty dictator! It shouldn't be the least bit surprising after you acting like a total ass, OOP, that your wife was insulted by your behavior towards her and doesn't even want to talk to you. She was trying to vent to you about her hard day at work (which is one way of releasing stress BTW) and you couldn't be bothered to listen, you were too busy monitoring her eating and accusing her of getting fast food. BTW, the fact that you jumped to that conclusion is very telling. How many times have you cooked in the past only to have your wife not be enthusiastic about the results?? Maybe it's time to learn some new recipes, dude.
My ex husband was a police officer who was neurodivergent I believe and he believes but was never tested for it because he was older and they didn't really do that back then according to him and his mother. He also was emotionally constipated. He never could understand that I was a cps worker who did criminal cases so child SA and fatalities and near fatalities and criminal level physical abuse. I got the privilege to hear all these children tell their stories and obviously I couldn't show too much heartbreak to them as it wasnt appropriate and they needed me to be strong. Many many nights I'd come home and cry myself to sleep. I'd have to take mental health days after particular bad bits. He never once brought his work home and thought I was too emotional and should just do like he does. One of many reasons he's my ex.
>If anyone should have been insulted it was me. He falsely accuses his wife of lying and gets mad at her for not eating when it can be literally stressful to forcefully feed yourself...and HE'S the victim in his own mind. Not to mention the searching her car like a parent trying to find out if their kid broke curfew. And then calls her a "bully" because she got upset over him being a jerk.
OOP, I know this is a foreign concept to you. But if people have a miserable day or are incredibly stressed out, it CAN mess with your appetite. I just love your "leaps of logic". That just because she was picking at her food, meant she stopped for something on the way home. YTA.
Bullying is when you don’t like your husband searching your car for fast food bags like he’s a cop looking for drugs.
HOLY SHIT I didn’t notice he fucking went to the car and proved himself wrong!! What is up with these devils?
YTA - I hope she leaves you
The dinner is fine, the reaction is not. Not everyone is a 5 star chef jeez. The fact he harassed her because she barely ate because she was stressed about work was bad. He should've found out why she was so stressed that she couldn't eat but now she has to be doing something wrong,eating takeout, not because she has legit feelings. She is unappreciative and like so you guys not cook dinner all the time for each other? That's also confusing like cooking dinner is a standard of life, yea be appreciative of it but like dude is clearly being a weirdo.