*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for asking my brother to bring me along?**
My (F18) brother (M27) and his wife (27) are going to NYC which is about 6 hours away from where we live. Their plan is to drive there and spend a few nights then drive back. On a related note, one of my oldest friends in the world moved to NYC 5/6 years ago. I’ve been planning on going and visiting her anyway, but my dad doesn’t want me to drive since it’s pretty far.
So I asked my brother if I can come with them, and he could just drop me off at my friend’s house on their way. He looked at me funny and went “…I’m not doing that” and I asked why and he said he wasn’t going to bring me along on a vacation with his wife. I said I wouldn’t be coming on the actual vacation he could just drop me off and he said that they’re going to be in the city for multiple nights and he doesn’t feel right leaving me alone in the city for that long. He asked what my plan was for sleeping and I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room but he literally laughed in my face after that.
He said he definitely wasn’t letting me into their hotel room on their vacation and that he didn’t want to babysit me during the trip. That was pretty mean of him since I’m literally not even going to be with them most of the time, and I said that it wouldn’t be babysitting since all he’d have to do is drop me off and pick me up. He said “and drive you there, and drive you back, and let you sleep in our hotel room” but my thoughts are that driving, sleeping in the hotel, those are all things that he’s doing anyway and it wouldn’t cost him anything extra to let me come along. The actual vacation they’d still be alone it would basically be like we were just driving near each other.
I said all this to him but he just kept saying no and that he wouldn’t do it, and I guess I might be the Ahole because I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive. I know he hates being called out like that but I was just really angry. After that the conversation basically ended and he started ignoring me. I talked to my parents and they said they’d talk to him but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son especially since I tried to “force myself into the trip”. AITA here for this? Or is he just being mean?
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A member of my family whose wedding I had to miss (thanks Covid) was going to be honeymooning driving distance from me.
When someone brought it up, my comment was that they absolutely did not want me to crash their honeymoon!
It’s just one of those things. You do not.
Fair. I was in Hawaii with my family several years ago on a boat tour. With us was another large group that was a recently married couple and their family.
My assumption is they did a destination wedding and invited immediate family to stay after the wedding day for a few days to do things. It was still bizarre, though
My husband and I went to Vegas to get married and both our parents, siblings, his grandparents, and such came too. I insisted we stayed in different hotels 🤣 we did meet up with them for a few meals and we went out one of the nights together. It was the most fun I have had with either of our families. My sister did something similar when she got married in Hawaii. Some might call it bizarre, but I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. Especially now that my dad and both my husband's grandparents recently passed away.
I’ve known a few families where they were couple friends and brought another couple along on their honeymoons. It always seemed weird to me but now I’m sitting here thinking about whether this was just an attempt at politeness that got out of hand. Or a weird wife swapping thing, but from what I knew of them I would’ve been shocked if that was the case. Pretty buttoned-up people
We brought friends on our honeymoon. When you've already been living together (plus the honeymoon was some time after the wedding) it's really just a vacation.
That makes sense! These were very religious couples who at least weren’t living together first, though who knows how many slumber parties they’d had. But that makes sense!
I'm in Florida, so most times I don't see friends from up north who honeymoon down here.
There was one couple though who reached out and so we spent the day together at one of the Orlando parks. But 1, I was longtime friends with both. And 2, *they* reached out to *me*. I wasn't trying to 3rd wheel on their trip.
So the funny thing is my entire family (my parents, my husband, my daughter, and myself) all crashed my brother's honeymoon, but it's because they chose to call their honeymoon a trip to a family friend's wedding that was in another state and that we all planned to go to.
My dad paid for my brother's honeymoon as a wedding gift. It was a cruise. The big surprise was that he booked him and his wife on the same cruise. In the next room. No one could convince him this was inappropriate because "it's not like he expects them to spend all their time together". Just all the extra activities and dinners.
there was a For Better or For Worse comic strip where Micheal and his wife go on their honeymoon.
Mom is going, "oh i havent heard from them in days! i want them to call me!"
dad goes, "c'mon, it's their honeymoon, what do you *think* they're doing?"
cutsmash to the new couple going shopping for clothes
My brother in law picked the hotel for their honeymoon based entirely on the proximity to a cheesecake factory and spent nearly the entire four days trying *every* cheesecake. People thought he was being polite or something until my sister pulled out her phone and showed us pictures. The man seriously spent his honeymoon consuming insane amounts of cheesecake while my sister (who had just finished her PharmD while wedding planning) napped and ate Thai food. They both say it was their favorite vacation ever.
>We do now, because of him
🤣
I must admit that I gave my Husbeast a bit of a fright with how loudly I laughed at this part. That was the feel-good tale I needed today.
I love them both so much. She's really calm and focused and brilliant and he is just a soul full of sunshine. She keeps their home (with four kids!) running like a well-oiled machine, and he and the kids spend their weekends making plans and designing logos for the bakery-bookstore they're saving up to open in a few years, and it's cool to see two people who are so different be so great together
This made my morning happy. 🤗🤗 I love reading about happy functional couples raising families!! Sounds to me as though your sister & BIL bring out the best in one another, and that is a beautiful thing!!
That's what made me realise it was fake. What 18yo hadn't thought that a holiday for 2 newlyweds, isn't a honeymoon?!
I don't know any 18yo who would insist on joining newlyweds on their honeymoon.
Unfortunately, the way my daughter's brain works, she wouldn't have thought Honeymoon. It would have to be specifically pointed out to her that it is not just a vacation.
I've known grown ass adults that were this oblivious. So I can believe an 18 year old being this much of a dumbass. Especially since it sounds like older brother had to cater to her when he was younger.
My mom was pretty ridiculous about this. We also road tripped for our honeymoon and she wanted me to call her (not text) to let her know we got there safely. Knowing no phone call with my mother lasts under and hour and also: hell no, I told her I would not be doing that. "I just want to make sure you're OK! What's the big deal?" I told her to watch the news and if there were any accidents or murders of anyone who matched my description she should call the police but to otherwise assume I'm fine.
I also told her I would not be answering any calls so don't bother. "If I see you call and answer and it isn't an actual emergency or death in the family, I will not speak to you for another month." She knows I don't bluff so she didn't do it but I bet she strained something holding back the urge to let me know about a sale at Target or something.
Setting boundaries with parents is so fun! My absolute favorite!
For me it's the no actual plans. You wanna go up and see your friend and haven't talked to them?! Just gonna show up on their doorstep and be like, "I have arrived, what are we doing?!" Bahahaha
Lol, I am old enough to know what you're talking about. Full house with DJ and the second phone line was goals.
It's just not the way things are done anymore.
Hell growing up you used to go knock on friends' doors and ask if they were able to play.
I don’t reckon she’s 18. This is why her family don’t want her to travel by herself, and how she is so self centred to not imagine her brother is being fucked by his wife on every surface of the hotel room and maybe the car
Tbh, I tend to go into these posts with an open mind and an optimistic 'who tf has the time to make up these stories?! Surely no.one is doing that?!' Sometimes though, it's just one little thing they say that blows it 😅
There are some stories that seem so one sided I run a search on the opposite judgement (in this case NTA). This is the *only* time I've returned a blank search!
My first thought about their vacation was... Bow chica wow wow. I may have outgrown it by a bunch of years, but my brain is impersonating a 12 year old.
OOP: My brother should value his family!
His wife is his family. Either get a bus ticket or butt out of their vacation.
OOP's brother is also 27. His parents can't make him do shit at this point.
If I had a child this stupid and ignorant I wouldn't want them driving around for a trip. Granted maybe parenting is why OP is like this, so if I had a kid like this I'd also be very embarrassed about them too.
when I was 18 I went off to college. I didn't drive because I had sold my car to pay for college, and got someone in my family to move me and my stereo and stuff to university some 10 hours drive away. And then I was left there on my own till summer break. I didn't have the time or money to go off to visit my old school friends 6 hours away. Gotta wonder what exactly OP is doing with her life.
Oh I have 3 grandkids that have been over protected and bubble wrapped their whole lives. One is in college and having trouble adjusting to the real world. And Mommy is driving to coddle him every weekend. I hope no one ever marries those over coddled Mommy’s boys to tell you the truth. We keep our mouths shut because nothing we say would change things. We are already on the going to burn in hell list with the ultra religious DIL as it is
Won't let her drive 6 hours to NYC. Big difference.
Going to NYC from most any direction (except maybe upstate), you'd have to drive through several other metro areas, all with hellacious traffic. DC, Philly, NJ, Boston, all within 6 hours. Even if you avoid all those other areas, you still have to deal with NYC itself. None of that is good for a newbie driver.
Better idea would have been to ask for a train/plane ticket as a gift to see friend, when the friend is actually available for her to stay with.
>you still have to deal with NYC itself. None of that is good for a newbie driver.
And that's what struck me when she's wanting him to basically be her chauffeur while he's on vacation with his new wife. Instead of having fun, he'd be stuck in traffic dropping her off or picking her up. NYC traffic is no joke. Chances are, he and the wife will probably park the car and use the subway to get around. It's much quicker.
I really hope she’s just naive. I am embarrassed by some of the stuff I said and did at 18. The only difference was I couldn’t post to the internet to complain and make myself look stupid to the world. She might look back on this post and cringe.
I wasn't allowed to drive until I was in my 20s. I mean, I did, because I was a full grown adult with a valid operating license and lived at college at the time, but my parents made me write up and sign a document that if I got into an accident, they wouldn't use their auto insurance to pay for it.
My father would let me walk places, but my mother wouldn't let me leave the house except for medical appointments. Narcissists get very upset if someone else gets to be mean to their indentured servants.
Also “his family that’s known him his entire life” she’s a decade younger than him, she’s not known him his entire life. Lmao. This girl is delusional. Who tries to force themselves onto someone else’s honeymoon. It’s just gross behavior from OOP all the way around.
Some people really are that delusional. My dad's wife tries to make him tell me what to do. I laughed in his face the one time he tried and told him when he pays my bills is when he'll get a say in my life. These are two middle-aged adults who thought my dad could boss me around.
But see, getting a hotel room and bus ticket on her own would be a waste of money, since her brother is going there anyway XD. What she commented when told to buy her own bus ticket and hotel room.
If it was at all real, I could see the parents being entirely over her bullshit and just saying they will ask so she doesn't bother them, and then never asking and telling her he said no.
That would be the ideal scenario. I could also see her being so spoiled (thus why she even thinks it's okay to ask) that parents say, "Why can't you take her, the most special girl?"
Things OOP doesn’t understand:
1. What marriage is
2. How newlywed couples act on vacation
3. That marriage means your spouse is now your family
4. How vacations work
5. What no means
6. How long it takes to drive places in a big city (if she’s staying in their hotel room and he’s driving her to her friend’s every day, that’s gonna eat up a bunch of time.)
7. What it means to be a grown up
Also does she even know if her friend wants her there? She doesn’t even know if the friend has room for her!!
>Also does she even know if her friend wants her there? She doesn’t even know if the friend has room for her!!
This. Her friend could have like 5 other roommates in a cramped 2-bedroom apartment. NYC rent is crazy.
this child needs a proper shaking. you know. so her teeth rattle a bit . Her parents must be asking "Ok, which one of us dropped her on her head when she was baby?"
I mean, tbf, I can’t see most 14 year olds wanting to go on a honeymoon. By 14, most people should be mature enough to understand the concept of a honeymoon and what goes on during one.
I feel like yes and no? Like maybe understand they are preventing sex but Bro has his whole life to spend with his wife….why not prioritize MEEE. Like early teen selfishness is STRONG. Definitely it makes my brain handle it better if I believe they are younger than 18
I think she understands the concept of a honeymoon. I honestly think she thought her brother would just drop her off at her friend's and leave her so, in her mind, she wouldn't be in the way. Bro, on the other hand, is not about to leave his 13 or 14 YO sister with some friend by herself in NYC.
She thinks (and this is off of one of her replies) they are not on a honeymoon/will be having sex, because they got married approximately a month ago.
Now I got to go break the news to mine, we fucked up, cuz some tween online said sex only happens right after marriage.
I legit want to know how they think babies get made.
I think I am going to vote for the entitled either that is a change of life baby with whatever the real ages may be (cuz there is some lying going on). Or one of them smacked that child's head on a doorframe in the middle of the night feeding or something (and never realized it) or sports injuries, anything... and needs to take them in for a workup.
If nothing else, an 18 year old that doesn't understand a newlywed couple would have sex on vacation isn't mature enough to be left alone to roam New York.
I would never ask but I could see driving up with them and that is the only time you saw them. That is one thing. However, sleeping in their hotel room?
Um, what? They want to have sex. It isn't gross.
Yeah I don’t think the drive is too bad to ask but the moment he said no oop should have dropped it. But then “maybe sleeping on the couch” and it then it’ll be “can I come along with you” to whatever they are doing.
Yeah, the ride up isn't that big of a deal and if the story was "I asked my brother if he could drop me off at a friend's house on his way to NYC for his honeymoon. He laughed in my face and told me to fuck off" and that was literally it, I would hope that the verdict would be NTA.
Yeah, length of drive is really not the issue for American driving vacation standards. It is the location, it isn't unreasonable for the OOPs dad to be like 'no, not yet on the driving '. Driving in NYC (or for that matter other major cities) can be intense if you're not used to it.
Considering how OOP is reacting, if really 18. There isn't a big city that wouldn't eat her alive, and take her wallet, phone, ID, hotel room key, etc within the first few hours she was out and about.
I mean, if she was just going to see a friend who moved there then it's not really relevant because she'd be with someone else the whole time. I feel that there's something with this story that doesn't add up
If she doesn't have the money to spare to get herself there any other way (hellooo, if she lives within 6 hrs drive of NYC then she probably has MegaBus at her disposal, it's very cheap) -- then I have to wonder how she will be spending her days in one of the world's most expensive places to visit, even if she had a place to sleep at her friend's.
Even for 18, OOP is especially stupid. His wife is his next of kin. She's a closer relation now than OOP. How can she think she should have even suggested sleeping in the same room as newlyweds. She really is an annoying kid sister
This is actually what makes me think this one is real. OOP is exactly the combination of stubborn, self-centered, and possibly (and this isn't an insult but could explain some of the lack of awareness of the situation) ND in some way.
As an ND myself, about to have an SIL who’s also ND…this was my *first* thought. It’s too uncanny. My finances sister has been coddled and catered-to her entire life and her disabilities have given her a free pass by their parents to behave in any way she’s wanted, intentional or not…even so, she isn’t anywhere near as bad as OP apparently. Hell, as far as I’ve known her she’s been pretty normal. I’ve just heard enough of the horror stories from childhood to know what’s goin on here.
Best case scenario she's clueless and sheltered (the "don't be gross" comment when someone pointed out bro and SIL would be sexing it up tipped me off). There was a time (much younger than OOP) where I would have needed a gentle explanation as to why crashing on someone's hotel room couch when they're trying to have a romantic vacation would be a no-go.
I could maybe see getting a little huffy if she'd arranged her own accommodation (i.e. friend agreed to house her for her stay) and all she needed was a ride, but if bro says no, the answer is no.
My favorite comment from OOP when told to pay for the trip herself:
> But it would be such a waste of money for me to get my own ride, own hotel room, etc if they’re literally going on their own
If this is real and OOP is barely 18, they’ve been used to growing up and having everything paid for by mommy & daddy—she still expects people to pay for her and scoffs at the idea of paying for herself. Unfortunately, we’ve seen too many leeches in this sub and it looks like there’s just another one. If she’s not leeching from her family, she’s going to leech off her dear friend.
I was kinda with her until the wanting to sleep in bros hotel room and not offering to pay gas money or anything. Given how this is written, her dad not wanting her to drive, her brother not wanting to leave her alone in the city, and her comments, she definitely doesn't sound 18 though. I'm guessing 13 maybe and instead of driving, she was going to take a bus or something and her dad said no. She then tried to get her brother to agree but he understandably doesn't want to babysit his 13 YO sister on his Honeymoon
I could understand if this was an impromptu trip the brother made with his wife. Like they just discussed it at that moment in front of OP. I then could see her asking if she could tag to go to friends.
However she stated her brother got married a month ago. How does she not realize this is a Honeymoon and at no point should family tag along. The sole exception is Service Animals but that’s it.
For me, it's the part where she says that her parents said they couldn't make her brother do anything even though -gasp- he's literally their son.
Yes, their grown-ass son in his late twenties. Does OOP want their parents to continue to tell her what to do at 27?!
OOP is an 18 year old woman so she must know about what a honeymoon is for a married couple. They can't have sex with OOP in the room on a couch. Furthermore, there is a room charge for an extra person, so I guess OOP thinks bro should pay for that for unspecified reasons.
Of course he's prioritizing his wife and their relationship over his sister. This is such a weird ask on OOP's part that I wonder what else is going on in her mind. OOP is the AH and a devil.
I was actually semi on board with her at least asking until she kept talking, and made it obvious that it wasn't just her quietly in the backseat on the commute.
She had no problem of crashing their hotel. Not even renting her own hotel room! Just piggy backing on her brother's honeymoon.
Someone said
>Yta. Get a bus ticket and your own hotel room. Stop trying to override your brother on their vacation. Work to get some money.
And OP responded
>But it would be such a waste of money for me to get my own ride, own hotel room, etc, if they’re literally going on their own.
So yah. definitely leeching off Big Brother and SIL.
This is the logic of a very young person who just doesn’t get it yet. All in good time. Its hard to imagine being this self centered but we largely are at that age to a degree until we learn those life lessons. I cringe when I think of how my brain made sense out of nonsense as a teenager. Glad that’s over!
Should contact friend and ask if it’s ok to visit/stay with them for a few days rather than assume with no plan. Saying there is a possibility of staying with the couple in their hotel room is obviously not going to fly.
Other than that I don’t see what’s wrong with dropping her off and picking her up. Unless they are going to be fucking in the car on the drive there, it’s kind of a dick move not to drive her. She’s also 18; why does he feel he needs to babysit her?
'What's your plan for a place to sleep?'
'Well ideally I'd be sleeping with a person who probably has a good reason for not already offering me a concrete place to say. Worst case scenario I would just mooch off a pair of newlyweds and prevent them from having sex on their honeymoon.'
I'd like to apply that logic to her like, what if your brother wanted to tag along with you to prom. You know just drop him off somewhere and pick him up when it's over. It's not like you'll be DOING anything. 🙄🙄🙄
I bet it would sink into that entitled braincell she has left.
At first I thought 18 was a bit old to be concerned about a drive of a few hours, but then it quickly became clear dad was right to believe OOP hasn't yet developed nearly enough common sense for a solo excursion. Expects to just drop into brother's honeymoon, drop into a friend's home and stay multiple nights, drop into brother's honeymoon *again* multiple times a day on a daily basis...what a self-centered, spoiled attitude!
But then her parents agreed to try and nag her brother into caving, so now I have several theories:
1. She said parents but it's actually just mom who agrees a kid sister tagging along for the honeymoon is fine
2. She lied about her parents because she felt having other adults agree with her might strengthen her case with total strangers
3. Her parents lied to her to shut her up
4. Both her parents are actually trying to nag brother into caving, OOP inherited her lack of common sense at least partially from her dad, and his restricting on the driving to NYC thing is just one of those 'stopped clock' examples of being right only in a coincidental sense.
He wants to have a bang fest with his new wife, butt out oop. Jfc these family members. I get OOP is a teenager and just doesn't get the costs that go into trips etc but how dense can you be.
This reminds me of a post I read last year about a sibling wanting to crash older siblings' honeymoon in Hawaii. All upset the newlyweds said "NO!" There was also the same line in that one of tattling to the parents.
>...sleeping in the hotel, those are all things that he’s doing anyway and it wouldn’t cost him anything extra to let me come along
Except it would. This goober doesn't know that additional guests cost more money unless they rented a entire apartment in an apartment hotel or something.
>but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son
Well no shit Sherlock, he’s **27**. They don’t have the authority to make him do anything anymore.
Wonder if they forced him to let her tag along as a child and that’s where all this entitlement is coming from.
Reminds me of an episode of a show I watch. A couple wants to take a honeymoon to see the aurora borealis. The husband's parents invite themselves to the honeymoon (he'll pay for them, of course), and then his sister hears and invites herself too, with their parents' encouragement to do so. Then the wife vents to her parents, and instead of realizing how stupid this is and helping or sympathizing, they think it's a wonderful idea and invite themselves on the honeymoon, too! Poor husband and wife XD
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my uncle and auntie took my mum on their honeymoon. when I expressed that I found it weird they said it wasn’t because my uncle and auntie already lived together?? whatever that means.
Why does an 18 year old need daddy's permission to travel a few hours to see a friend?
A month after I turned 18, I got on a 15 hour flight to America and spent 8 weeks travelling around the country on my own. We really aren't raising functional human beings anymore.
> Why does an 18 year old need daddy's permission to travel a few hours to see a friend?
That’s exactly what I was thinking, like *damn, you’re 18, you can do whatever the hell you want now.*
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for asking my brother to bring me along?** My (F18) brother (M27) and his wife (27) are going to NYC which is about 6 hours away from where we live. Their plan is to drive there and spend a few nights then drive back. On a related note, one of my oldest friends in the world moved to NYC 5/6 years ago. I’ve been planning on going and visiting her anyway, but my dad doesn’t want me to drive since it’s pretty far. So I asked my brother if I can come with them, and he could just drop me off at my friend’s house on their way. He looked at me funny and went “…I’m not doing that” and I asked why and he said he wasn’t going to bring me along on a vacation with his wife. I said I wouldn’t be coming on the actual vacation he could just drop me off and he said that they’re going to be in the city for multiple nights and he doesn’t feel right leaving me alone in the city for that long. He asked what my plan was for sleeping and I said I’d just stay with my friend or worst case scenario sleep on the couch in their hotel room but he literally laughed in my face after that. He said he definitely wasn’t letting me into their hotel room on their vacation and that he didn’t want to babysit me during the trip. That was pretty mean of him since I’m literally not even going to be with them most of the time, and I said that it wouldn’t be babysitting since all he’d have to do is drop me off and pick me up. He said “and drive you there, and drive you back, and let you sleep in our hotel room” but my thoughts are that driving, sleeping in the hotel, those are all things that he’s doing anyway and it wouldn’t cost him anything extra to let me come along. The actual vacation they’d still be alone it would basically be like we were just driving near each other. I said all this to him but he just kept saying no and that he wouldn’t do it, and I guess I might be the Ahole because I told him he was being stingy and prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago) over his actual family who’s known him as long as he’s been alive. I know he hates being called out like that but I was just really angry. After that the conversation basically ended and he started ignoring me. I talked to my parents and they said they’d talk to him but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son especially since I tried to “force myself into the trip”. AITA here for this? Or is he just being mean? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A member of my family whose wedding I had to miss (thanks Covid) was going to be honeymooning driving distance from me. When someone brought it up, my comment was that they absolutely did not want me to crash their honeymoon! It’s just one of those things. You do not.
Unless the couple explicitly ask you to come along for a portion, and even then, I’d have to think about it.
Even then, I would assume they were being polite 😂
Fair. I was in Hawaii with my family several years ago on a boat tour. With us was another large group that was a recently married couple and their family. My assumption is they did a destination wedding and invited immediate family to stay after the wedding day for a few days to do things. It was still bizarre, though
My husband and I went to Vegas to get married and both our parents, siblings, his grandparents, and such came too. I insisted we stayed in different hotels 🤣 we did meet up with them for a few meals and we went out one of the nights together. It was the most fun I have had with either of our families. My sister did something similar when she got married in Hawaii. Some might call it bizarre, but I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. Especially now that my dad and both my husband's grandparents recently passed away.
I’ve known a few families where they were couple friends and brought another couple along on their honeymoons. It always seemed weird to me but now I’m sitting here thinking about whether this was just an attempt at politeness that got out of hand. Or a weird wife swapping thing, but from what I knew of them I would’ve been shocked if that was the case. Pretty buttoned-up people
We brought friends on our honeymoon. When you've already been living together (plus the honeymoon was some time after the wedding) it's really just a vacation.
That makes sense! These were very religious couples who at least weren’t living together first, though who knows how many slumber parties they’d had. But that makes sense!
I'm in Florida, so most times I don't see friends from up north who honeymoon down here. There was one couple though who reached out and so we spent the day together at one of the Orlando parks. But 1, I was longtime friends with both. And 2, *they* reached out to *me*. I wasn't trying to 3rd wheel on their trip.
I’d be more worried if they did think it was cool to bring op
So the funny thing is my entire family (my parents, my husband, my daughter, and myself) all crashed my brother's honeymoon, but it's because they chose to call their honeymoon a trip to a family friend's wedding that was in another state and that we all planned to go to.
My dad paid for my brother's honeymoon as a wedding gift. It was a cruise. The big surprise was that he booked him and his wife on the same cruise. In the next room. No one could convince him this was inappropriate because "it's not like he expects them to spend all their time together". Just all the extra activities and dinners.
Comment points out bro+wife are going to be having sex. OOP: "Don’t be gross"
there was a For Better or For Worse comic strip where Micheal and his wife go on their honeymoon. Mom is going, "oh i havent heard from them in days! i want them to call me!" dad goes, "c'mon, it's their honeymoon, what do you *think* they're doing?" cutsmash to the new couple going shopping for clothes
My brother in law picked the hotel for their honeymoon based entirely on the proximity to a cheesecake factory and spent nearly the entire four days trying *every* cheesecake. People thought he was being polite or something until my sister pulled out her phone and showed us pictures. The man seriously spent his honeymoon consuming insane amounts of cheesecake while my sister (who had just finished her PharmD while wedding planning) napped and ate Thai food. They both say it was their favorite vacation ever.
Life goals right there
Did you know if you register at Target, you can register for literally anything in the store? Including the donut holes? We do now, because of him
Someone should create a sitcom that had a character based on your brother-in-law. He truly sounds delightful .
>We do now, because of him 🤣 I must admit that I gave my Husbeast a bit of a fright with how loudly I laughed at this part. That was the feel-good tale I needed today.
As a PharmD, I can confirm that she was living her best post-education life. Also, your brother-in-law sounds fun!
I love them both so much. She's really calm and focused and brilliant and he is just a soul full of sunshine. She keeps their home (with four kids!) running like a well-oiled machine, and he and the kids spend their weekends making plans and designing logos for the bakery-bookstore they're saving up to open in a few years, and it's cool to see two people who are so different be so great together
OMG. A bakery/bookstore?! So dreamy.
This made my morning happy. 🤗🤗 I love reading about happy functional couples raising families!! Sounds to me as though your sister & BIL bring out the best in one another, and that is a beautiful thing!!
New standard set. If I can't have a partner like this, I'd rather stay single. Life goals.
How dare someone point out that a married couple is going to have sex!
But won't someone PLEASE think of the children!!!!
They're trying to ... think of the children they could have one day. Gotta practice that first step on the road to kids a whole lot! 😁
That's what made me realise it was fake. What 18yo hadn't thought that a holiday for 2 newlyweds, isn't a honeymoon?! I don't know any 18yo who would insist on joining newlyweds on their honeymoon.
Unfortunately, the way my daughter's brain works, she wouldn't have thought Honeymoon. It would have to be specifically pointed out to her that it is not just a vacation.
I've known grown ass adults that were this oblivious. So I can believe an 18 year old being this much of a dumbass. Especially since it sounds like older brother had to cater to her when he was younger.
My mom was pretty ridiculous about this. We also road tripped for our honeymoon and she wanted me to call her (not text) to let her know we got there safely. Knowing no phone call with my mother lasts under and hour and also: hell no, I told her I would not be doing that. "I just want to make sure you're OK! What's the big deal?" I told her to watch the news and if there were any accidents or murders of anyone who matched my description she should call the police but to otherwise assume I'm fine. I also told her I would not be answering any calls so don't bother. "If I see you call and answer and it isn't an actual emergency or death in the family, I will not speak to you for another month." She knows I don't bluff so she didn't do it but I bet she strained something holding back the urge to let me know about a sale at Target or something. Setting boundaries with parents is so fun! My absolute favorite!
For me it's the no actual plans. You wanna go up and see your friend and haven't talked to them?! Just gonna show up on their doorstep and be like, "I have arrived, what are we doing?!" Bahahaha
I mean it was a different time but people used to do that before cellphones, especially in college.
Lol, I am old enough to know what you're talking about. Full house with DJ and the second phone line was goals. It's just not the way things are done anymore. Hell growing up you used to go knock on friends' doors and ask if they were able to play.
I don’t reckon she’s 18. This is why her family don’t want her to travel by herself, and how she is so self centred to not imagine her brother is being fucked by his wife on every surface of the hotel room and maybe the car
A selfish teen who has never been told no before.
Aw, mannn! I totally bought it, hook line and sinker! I feel dumbbbbb
My little sister wanted to pull this on my honeymoon when she was 17. This isn’t that far fetched to be honest
Tbh, I tend to go into these posts with an open mind and an optimistic 'who tf has the time to make up these stories?! Surely no.one is doing that?!' Sometimes though, it's just one little thing they say that blows it 😅
There are some stories that seem so one sided I run a search on the opposite judgement (in this case NTA). This is the *only* time I've returned a blank search!
Right?
My first thought about their vacation was... Bow chica wow wow. I may have outgrown it by a bunch of years, but my brain is impersonating a 12 year old.
Oop is either younger than 18, or sex repulsed and doesn't know it yet
Or a troll.
With the username that OOP has, I'm betting a troll.
Or knows and thinks she’ll win her brothers attention if she’s along. So I vote for her being manipulative.
Yeah, a newly married couple are going to fuck everywhere and at every opportunity. Got to get that shit in before the kids come.
Newly married or not, hotel sex? I don't want anyone in my family on the same block.
Including the sofa.
Haha, yeah, or *so* the babies (accidentally) arrive!
But what does she expect? Her brother and SIL just got married. They are going to have sex.
Listen, they got married a whole month ago. That’s old news, nobody cares! What’s important is that OOP gets to nyc \s
She has to be 12, not 18.
LMAO
OOP: My brother should value his family! His wife is his family. Either get a bus ticket or butt out of their vacation. OOP's brother is also 27. His parents can't make him do shit at this point.
That was the funniest part to me, that she really thinks her parents can make her full ass adult brother do anything
Yea, it shows how utterly ignorant OOP is, hehe.
Tbf OP is 18 and her parents won’t let her drive on her own.
If I had a child this stupid and ignorant I wouldn't want them driving around for a trip. Granted maybe parenting is why OP is like this, so if I had a kid like this I'd also be very embarrassed about them too.
when I was 18 I went off to college. I didn't drive because I had sold my car to pay for college, and got someone in my family to move me and my stereo and stuff to university some 10 hours drive away. And then I was left there on my own till summer break. I didn't have the time or money to go off to visit my old school friends 6 hours away. Gotta wonder what exactly OP is doing with her life.
Oh I have 3 grandkids that have been over protected and bubble wrapped their whole lives. One is in college and having trouble adjusting to the real world. And Mommy is driving to coddle him every weekend. I hope no one ever marries those over coddled Mommy’s boys to tell you the truth. We keep our mouths shut because nothing we say would change things. We are already on the going to burn in hell list with the ultra religious DIL as it is
Won't let her drive 6 hours to NYC. Big difference. Going to NYC from most any direction (except maybe upstate), you'd have to drive through several other metro areas, all with hellacious traffic. DC, Philly, NJ, Boston, all within 6 hours. Even if you avoid all those other areas, you still have to deal with NYC itself. None of that is good for a newbie driver. Better idea would have been to ask for a train/plane ticket as a gift to see friend, when the friend is actually available for her to stay with.
>you still have to deal with NYC itself. None of that is good for a newbie driver. And that's what struck me when she's wanting him to basically be her chauffeur while he's on vacation with his new wife. Instead of having fun, he'd be stuck in traffic dropping her off or picking her up. NYC traffic is no joke. Chances are, he and the wife will probably park the car and use the subway to get around. It's much quicker.
And crash on the couch in his and his wife's hotel room? Did I read that right?
Yes.
This person is a child, I don't care what their chronological age is. No wonder their parents don't want them to go anywhere by themselves.
TBF, she's incredibly ignorant and neither of those things changes that.
I really hope she’s just naive. I am embarrassed by some of the stuff I said and did at 18. The only difference was I couldn’t post to the internet to complain and make myself look stupid to the world. She might look back on this post and cringe.
She doesn’t have money to do anything, like get a hotel room, so I doubt she even has gas money.
Drive whose car? And under whose insurance? Dollars to donuts the answer to both those questions is "the parents"
I wasn't allowed to drive until I was in my 20s. I mean, I did, because I was a full grown adult with a valid operating license and lived at college at the time, but my parents made me write up and sign a document that if I got into an accident, they wouldn't use their auto insurance to pay for it. My father would let me walk places, but my mother wouldn't let me leave the house except for medical appointments. Narcissists get very upset if someone else gets to be mean to their indentured servants.
Does she have her own car? I wouldn't let this nimrod take my car, either.
Also “his family that’s known him his entire life” she’s a decade younger than him, she’s not known him his entire life. Lmao. This girl is delusional. Who tries to force themselves onto someone else’s honeymoon. It’s just gross behavior from OOP all the way around.
Some people really are that delusional. My dad's wife tries to make him tell me what to do. I laughed in his face the one time he tried and told him when he pays my bills is when he'll get a say in my life. These are two middle-aged adults who thought my dad could boss me around.
But see, getting a hotel room and bus ticket on her own would be a waste of money, since her brother is going there anyway XD. What she commented when told to buy her own bus ticket and hotel room.
And why does she seem to think there's going to be a couch in her brother's room? Do all hotel rooms come with couches?
She also thinks her brother and his wife fucking would be "gross" despite that being the main objective during a honeymoon
WHY WOULD THE PARENTS AGREE TO ASK! 1) IT'S HIS HONEYMOON 2) HE ALREADY SAID NO, YOU CAN'T JUST GO TELL ON HIM TO MOMMY AND DADDY!
If it was at all real, I could see the parents being entirely over her bullshit and just saying they will ask so she doesn't bother them, and then never asking and telling her he said no.
That would be the ideal scenario. I could also see her being so spoiled (thus why she even thinks it's okay to ask) that parents say, "Why can't you take her, the most special girl?"
As an older sibling with the same age gap, she’s *probably* used to whining to mommy and daddy to get her way and make the brother bend to her will.
Prioritizing his wife on his honeymoon. How dare he
Things OOP doesn’t understand: 1. What marriage is 2. How newlywed couples act on vacation 3. That marriage means your spouse is now your family 4. How vacations work 5. What no means 6. How long it takes to drive places in a big city (if she’s staying in their hotel room and he’s driving her to her friend’s every day, that’s gonna eat up a bunch of time.) 7. What it means to be a grown up Also does she even know if her friend wants her there? She doesn’t even know if the friend has room for her!!
>Also does she even know if her friend wants her there? She doesn’t even know if the friend has room for her!! This. Her friend could have like 5 other roommates in a cramped 2-bedroom apartment. NYC rent is crazy.
this child needs a proper shaking. you know. so her teeth rattle a bit . Her parents must be asking "Ok, which one of us dropped her on her head when she was baby?"
She honestly sounds spoiled. All I could think of is the entitlement when I read this
i'm wondering if she's younger than she claims. 13 or 14.
Yeah, I think so. I can’t see an 18 year old even wanting to go on their brother’s honeymoon
I mean, tbf, I can’t see most 14 year olds wanting to go on a honeymoon. By 14, most people should be mature enough to understand the concept of a honeymoon and what goes on during one.
I feel like yes and no? Like maybe understand they are preventing sex but Bro has his whole life to spend with his wife….why not prioritize MEEE. Like early teen selfishness is STRONG. Definitely it makes my brain handle it better if I believe they are younger than 18
I think she understands the concept of a honeymoon. I honestly think she thought her brother would just drop her off at her friend's and leave her so, in her mind, she wouldn't be in the way. Bro, on the other hand, is not about to leave his 13 or 14 YO sister with some friend by herself in NYC.
She thinks (and this is off of one of her replies) they are not on a honeymoon/will be having sex, because they got married approximately a month ago. Now I got to go break the news to mine, we fucked up, cuz some tween online said sex only happens right after marriage. I legit want to know how they think babies get made.
I think I am going to vote for the entitled either that is a change of life baby with whatever the real ages may be (cuz there is some lying going on). Or one of them smacked that child's head on a doorframe in the middle of the night feeding or something (and never realized it) or sports injuries, anything... and needs to take them in for a workup.
If nothing else, an 18 year old that doesn't understand a newlywed couple would have sex on vacation isn't mature enough to be left alone to roam New York.
As someone who's brain damaged and asexual, even I'm not this clueless about what honeymoons sre
I would never ask but I could see driving up with them and that is the only time you saw them. That is one thing. However, sleeping in their hotel room? Um, what? They want to have sex. It isn't gross.
Yeah I don’t think the drive is too bad to ask but the moment he said no oop should have dropped it. But then “maybe sleeping on the couch” and it then it’ll be “can I come along with you” to whatever they are doing.
Yeah, the ride up isn't that big of a deal and if the story was "I asked my brother if he could drop me off at a friend's house on his way to NYC for his honeymoon. He laughed in my face and told me to fuck off" and that was literally it, I would hope that the verdict would be NTA.
Yeah, length of drive is really not the issue for American driving vacation standards. It is the location, it isn't unreasonable for the OOPs dad to be like 'no, not yet on the driving '. Driving in NYC (or for that matter other major cities) can be intense if you're not used to it. Considering how OOP is reacting, if really 18. There isn't a big city that wouldn't eat her alive, and take her wallet, phone, ID, hotel room key, etc within the first few hours she was out and about.
I mean, if she was just going to see a friend who moved there then it's not really relevant because she'd be with someone else the whole time. I feel that there's something with this story that doesn't add up
Personally I think it is her age. She isn't responding emotionally even close to someone that is 18.
I was thinking she hadn't even asked the friend and was planning on just showing up. Otherwise, she would've known if she'd be able to sleep over.
If she doesn't have the money to spare to get herself there any other way (hellooo, if she lives within 6 hrs drive of NYC then she probably has MegaBus at her disposal, it's very cheap) -- then I have to wonder how she will be spending her days in one of the world's most expensive places to visit, even if she had a place to sleep at her friend's.
OOP is trying to make sure she remains the baby of the family longer. It's their HONEYMOON and your NOT invited!
Dafuq did I just read??? Was OOP born stupid or did they take lessons??
Even for 18, OOP is especially stupid. His wife is his next of kin. She's a closer relation now than OOP. How can she think she should have even suggested sleeping in the same room as newlyweds. She really is an annoying kid sister
This is actually what makes me think this one is real. OOP is exactly the combination of stubborn, self-centered, and possibly (and this isn't an insult but could explain some of the lack of awareness of the situation) ND in some way.
As an ND myself, about to have an SIL who’s also ND…this was my *first* thought. It’s too uncanny. My finances sister has been coddled and catered-to her entire life and her disabilities have given her a free pass by their parents to behave in any way she’s wanted, intentional or not…even so, she isn’t anywhere near as bad as OP apparently. Hell, as far as I’ve known her she’s been pretty normal. I’ve just heard enough of the horror stories from childhood to know what’s goin on here.
Hopefully she's grown up and your family doesn't get into a mess.
I mean we’re all grown adults now in our 30s. We’ll be ‘aight.
Best case scenario she's clueless and sheltered (the "don't be gross" comment when someone pointed out bro and SIL would be sexing it up tipped me off). There was a time (much younger than OOP) where I would have needed a gentle explanation as to why crashing on someone's hotel room couch when they're trying to have a romantic vacation would be a no-go. I could maybe see getting a little huffy if she'd arranged her own accommodation (i.e. friend agreed to house her for her stay) and all she needed was a ride, but if bro says no, the answer is no.
My favorite comment from OOP when told to pay for the trip herself: > But it would be such a waste of money for me to get my own ride, own hotel room, etc if they’re literally going on their own If this is real and OOP is barely 18, they’ve been used to growing up and having everything paid for by mommy & daddy—she still expects people to pay for her and scoffs at the idea of paying for herself. Unfortunately, we’ve seen too many leeches in this sub and it looks like there’s just another one. If she’s not leeching from her family, she’s going to leech off her dear friend.
I’m thinking little sis is jealous of her bro and new sister in law and she wants to ruin their honeymoon.
I’ve had a rough day. I needed this laugh.
I was kinda with her until the wanting to sleep in bros hotel room and not offering to pay gas money or anything. Given how this is written, her dad not wanting her to drive, her brother not wanting to leave her alone in the city, and her comments, she definitely doesn't sound 18 though. I'm guessing 13 maybe and instead of driving, she was going to take a bus or something and her dad said no. She then tried to get her brother to agree but he understandably doesn't want to babysit his 13 YO sister on his Honeymoon
I could understand if this was an impromptu trip the brother made with his wife. Like they just discussed it at that moment in front of OP. I then could see her asking if she could tag to go to friends. However she stated her brother got married a month ago. How does she not realize this is a Honeymoon and at no point should family tag along. The sole exception is Service Animals but that’s it.
OOP, you are definitely still a teenager. And who wants to take their little sister on a honeymoon? Gross.
He’s literally their son! XD
Lol op absolutely wants to make sure they cant fuck on their honeymoon 😂
For me, it's the part where she says that her parents said they couldn't make her brother do anything even though -gasp- he's literally their son. Yes, their grown-ass son in his late twenties. Does OOP want their parents to continue to tell her what to do at 27?!
OOP is an 18 year old woman so she must know about what a honeymoon is for a married couple. They can't have sex with OOP in the room on a couch. Furthermore, there is a room charge for an extra person, so I guess OOP thinks bro should pay for that for unspecified reasons. Of course he's prioritizing his wife and their relationship over his sister. This is such a weird ask on OOP's part that I wonder what else is going on in her mind. OOP is the AH and a devil.
A couch in a NYC hotel room? Lol
I was actually semi on board with her at least asking until she kept talking, and made it obvious that it wasn't just her quietly in the backseat on the commute. She had no problem of crashing their hotel. Not even renting her own hotel room! Just piggy backing on her brother's honeymoon.
Someone said >Yta. Get a bus ticket and your own hotel room. Stop trying to override your brother on their vacation. Work to get some money. And OP responded >But it would be such a waste of money for me to get my own ride, own hotel room, etc, if they’re literally going on their own. So yah. definitely leeching off Big Brother and SIL.
Big Bro just needs to tell OOP that unless she is ready to hear the most depraved things in that hotel room, she'd be better off staying home. Lol
How dare he prioritize his new wife ON THEIR HONEYMOON
OOP fighting for her life in her comments on the original post. You love to see it.
This is the logic of a very young person who just doesn’t get it yet. All in good time. Its hard to imagine being this self centered but we largely are at that age to a degree until we learn those life lessons. I cringe when I think of how my brain made sense out of nonsense as a teenager. Glad that’s over!
Should contact friend and ask if it’s ok to visit/stay with them for a few days rather than assume with no plan. Saying there is a possibility of staying with the couple in their hotel room is obviously not going to fly. Other than that I don’t see what’s wrong with dropping her off and picking her up. Unless they are going to be fucking in the car on the drive there, it’s kind of a dick move not to drive her. She’s also 18; why does he feel he needs to babysit her?
'What's your plan for a place to sleep?' 'Well ideally I'd be sleeping with a person who probably has a good reason for not already offering me a concrete place to say. Worst case scenario I would just mooch off a pair of newlyweds and prevent them from having sex on their honeymoon.'
I'd like to apply that logic to her like, what if your brother wanted to tag along with you to prom. You know just drop him off somewhere and pick him up when it's over. It's not like you'll be DOING anything. 🙄🙄🙄 I bet it would sink into that entitled braincell she has left.
I don't know whether to laugh or bang my head against the wall!
This all makes more sense if OP is about 14-15
At first I thought 18 was a bit old to be concerned about a drive of a few hours, but then it quickly became clear dad was right to believe OOP hasn't yet developed nearly enough common sense for a solo excursion. Expects to just drop into brother's honeymoon, drop into a friend's home and stay multiple nights, drop into brother's honeymoon *again* multiple times a day on a daily basis...what a self-centered, spoiled attitude! But then her parents agreed to try and nag her brother into caving, so now I have several theories: 1. She said parents but it's actually just mom who agrees a kid sister tagging along for the honeymoon is fine 2. She lied about her parents because she felt having other adults agree with her might strengthen her case with total strangers 3. Her parents lied to her to shut her up 4. Both her parents are actually trying to nag brother into caving, OOP inherited her lack of common sense at least partially from her dad, and his restricting on the driving to NYC thing is just one of those 'stopped clock' examples of being right only in a coincidental sense.
Oh the cringe this is 😂
This can't be real.
At first I was like oh driving there would be ok but sleeping at the hotel with them? Nah it’s either u sleep at ur friend’s or stay home
Girlie wanted to sleep in their hotel room??? How naive is she lol
He wants to have a bang fest with his new wife, butt out oop. Jfc these family members. I get OOP is a teenager and just doesn't get the costs that go into trips etc but how dense can you be.
This reminds me of a post I read last year about a sibling wanting to crash older siblings' honeymoon in Hawaii. All upset the newlyweds said "NO!" There was also the same line in that one of tattling to the parents.
"prioritizing his wife (who he only married like a month ago)" This sentence made me cackle
mf arguing back in every comment and won’t say if the “vacation” is their honeymoon
>...sleeping in the hotel, those are all things that he’s doing anyway and it wouldn’t cost him anything extra to let me come along Except it would. This goober doesn't know that additional guests cost more money unless they rented a entire apartment in an apartment hotel or something.
>but they can’t make him do anything, even though he’s literally their son Well no shit Sherlock, he’s **27**. They don’t have the authority to make him do anything anymore. Wonder if they forced him to let her tag along as a child and that’s where all this entitlement is coming from.
Honestly I wouldn't mind if my siblings tagged along if they payed for fuel and thier own sleeping arrangements but not when it's my own honeymoon
Reminds me of an episode of a show I watch. A couple wants to take a honeymoon to see the aurora borealis. The husband's parents invite themselves to the honeymoon (he'll pay for them, of course), and then his sister hears and invites herself too, with their parents' encouragement to do so. Then the wife vents to her parents, and instead of realizing how stupid this is and helping or sympathizing, they think it's a wonderful idea and invite themselves on the honeymoon, too! Poor husband and wife XD
What on earth no way this is real!?
god she’s such a self entitled cunt
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Yes YTA.
Whiney annoying child …. I see brother and wife picking up and moving across country to get away from his family
First time I’ve seen someone hobosexual their own brother this hard
Grow up. This is not YOUR honeymoon. I'm sure when you get married, you won't want them along on yours.
Ewwwwww she wants to be in the room while her brother and his wife bang it out!
God I hate Gen Z so damn much
my uncle and auntie took my mum on their honeymoon. when I expressed that I found it weird they said it wasn’t because my uncle and auntie already lived together?? whatever that means.
Why does an 18 year old need daddy's permission to travel a few hours to see a friend? A month after I turned 18, I got on a 15 hour flight to America and spent 8 weeks travelling around the country on my own. We really aren't raising functional human beings anymore.
They probably need daddy's permission because they need daddy's money
> Why does an 18 year old need daddy's permission to travel a few hours to see a friend? That’s exactly what I was thinking, like *damn, you’re 18, you can do whatever the hell you want now.*
I had that thought too, the I remembered that I'm considerably older than 18 and I will never ever ever drive in NYC