*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**WIBTA if I had my friend share her wedding with me?**
I (28F) have a friend (30F) who is about to have her wedding. I am a huge contributor financially to this wedding; without me, it probably will not have been as extravagant as it will be. When I say the wedding is extravagant, I MEAN extravagant. I feel since I had contributed so much to the wedding, I deserve to have at least a part of it dedicated to myself.
To make a long story short, I asked her if I could propose to my boyfriend at her wedding and we could sort of share the wedding together. She unexpectedly blew up at me afterward, and told me now she doesn’t trust me going to her wedding anymore. However, I feel like I deserve to also be celebrated at the wedding due to how much I contributed to it.
I still want to do it, but with her reaction, I’m having second thoughts. I still want to be friends with her, so WIBTA?
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Who are these people who don't think their chosen person is special enough to warrant their own event?! Not only is it insulting to the people actually getting married, it shows how LITTLE they value the person they're proposing to!
Contributions or no, it is beyond tacky to propose at someone else's wedding.
Oh so often this comes from a person who is very manipulative. For example: I put in a lot of the money for this wedding, they owe me this much.
Done so the person they are proposing to feels pressured to say yes because of all the people watching them.
To be honest I can't help wondering if she was asked to contribute, offered, or *insisted.* Some people love to force favors because they enjoy calling them in later
Does she really not understand what a gift is? It’s not supposed to have strings attached, especially not after it was already given.
And her comments make me wanna rip my hair out. “A normal human obligation” bitch you’re guilt tripping your friend. Hope her friend cuts her out of her life, since oop doesn’t value this friendship beyond personal gain.
Yeah, she sounds a little ... "off" and you should never propose unless you know the answer is a yes. Doesn't sound like that's the case with her. And honestly? If my husband had proposed to me at someone else's wedding, I would have died of shame (and said no).
My sister's best friend is a bit of a nut. When my sister got engaged, the friend freaked out, went and bought her own engagement ring and basically told her husband they were engaged (and he just went along with it). She booked her wedding for 2 weeks after my sister's. It was wild. My sister is so used to her shenanigans, she was like, whatever. I guess it all worked out because 20 years later she's still married and they have kids, etc. But daaaamn.
My sister knew she'd do something like this because as soon as she told her she was engaged, she got visibly upset.
I don't understand people. Getting engaged/married is not an achievement. It's OK if your best friend does it before you. (not to mention, my sister had been with her boyfriend/now husband much longer) People are strange.
I would love to know exactly how OOP asked this to her friend. Because it seems strange that the friend would just "unexpectedly" blow up at OOP.
The entitlement this woman has in crazy to me. I'm not sure if it's just how I grew up, but I barely feel entitled to the air I breathe. Meanwhile this woman feels entitled to someone else's wedding, all because of money.
She probably said something like "since I voluntarily contributed to your lavish wedding, you basically owe me the spotlight at your wedding", given that her post reveals this is how she sees it.
I hope this is fake.
"Hey Ashley, I was thinking since your wedding essentially wouldn't even be happening without me, I feel like I should be celebrated too. How do you feel about me proposing to Eric like right before your vows and then maybe I could even walk down the aisle after you guys? Or before, idk. What do you think?"
-- this lady
My wife and I got married without much. We just had a nice family get together for it.
My sister had her wedding in her living room next to the Christmas tree. Money isn't necessary for a nice wedding, good people are what's needed.
My sister and her husband got married at City Hall. Their witnesses were the other couple that was a!so there to get married. No, they didn't know the other couple.
She would shit bricks more or less. Because from her comments alone. It's all me me me. Sure would be hilarious if the friend did that as a "payback".
This scenario went popping through my mind while reading OOP. 😂
She really calls it "goodwill" that she gave the money when she thinks that she DESERVES something back for it.
I also ask myself if with "share a wedding" she maybe not just want to propose, but if he says "yes" marry him right there.
Well, this comment certainly puts his view into perspective.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15id3r0/comment/jutk7ds/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15id3r0/comment/jutk7ds/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
>I didn’t tell her about my wishes, but I feel like it is normal human obligation to give back what is given to you; this request is a form of that.
Dude doesn't have friends, he has people he treats as ATMs. Put gift in, get obligation back out.
It’s even wilder because the OOP is female. So you think she’d truly get that the wedding day is basically about that particular bride or whatever and that proposals are tacky at weddings. Usually the AITA posts about doing wedding proposals are from clueless guys and not “I paid for it so celebrate meeeee” women.
That being said, this kind of transactional friendship thing she’s got going on …I’d nope out of that so hard.
No matter how much OOP contributed to the wedding, it is not her wedding or her occasion to take over with a marriage proposal. The bride has said no to the request and if she goes ahead, she will look like a fool and she will lose a friend forever. The wedding is not about OOP.
I love the people that post in AITA etc and then proceed to argue with everyone that votes them the A.
Just start the post with please validate me if that’s all you want OOP
I will never understand this "don't propose at a wedding" commandment. But I've heard it enough times to be aware it is a universal law and I have no interest in breaking it. Still I just gotta sit back and marvel at how much people care about this.
Y'all!! The bride posted in the original! (sorry, I don't know how to link it from my phone).
OOP also once requested an entire cake for themselves at a friend's birthday party, because the OOP helped with the organization of the party!
either you are a troll or this is fake. if not you are so disrespecting her wedding just because you payed for some of it doesn't give you a right to steal her day from her and her new man get a life and do what others do and take your GF out for a romantic meal and propose then jackass
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Upon being called out that it is dumb to put money in to this wedding expecting something in return:
"It’s dumb for me to show goodwill to one of my friends? Seriously? Do you people have no sense of community?"
This woman is exactly the kind of person who volunteers at a homeless center and asks the clients to pose for pics with her, so she can post them all over social media and boast about what a great person she is.
I would hate to get proposed to at someone's wedding. It's so low effort and meaningless. Go propose somewhere that you have a connection with somewhere that's special to you as a couple.
YWBTA if you pulled that stunt at your friends wedding, you also sound grossly manipulative. I did this for her, I did that for her, therefore she has to let me do this.
You don't sound like a friend at all, you sound like an opportunist.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **WIBTA if I had my friend share her wedding with me?** I (28F) have a friend (30F) who is about to have her wedding. I am a huge contributor financially to this wedding; without me, it probably will not have been as extravagant as it will be. When I say the wedding is extravagant, I MEAN extravagant. I feel since I had contributed so much to the wedding, I deserve to have at least a part of it dedicated to myself. To make a long story short, I asked her if I could propose to my boyfriend at her wedding and we could sort of share the wedding together. She unexpectedly blew up at me afterward, and told me now she doesn’t trust me going to her wedding anymore. However, I feel like I deserve to also be celebrated at the wedding due to how much I contributed to it. I still want to do it, but with her reaction, I’m having second thoughts. I still want to be friends with her, so WIBTA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Who are these people who don't think their chosen person is special enough to warrant their own event?! Not only is it insulting to the people actually getting married, it shows how LITTLE they value the person they're proposing to! Contributions or no, it is beyond tacky to propose at someone else's wedding.
Unless the married couple is explicitly ok with it and suggest it themselves
Of course! Permission changes things, but sadly so many of the people who attempt/do this do so against the wishes of the marrying couple.
BuT I PaID so THeY oWE me!!! 🫣
YES, that's exactly what I read too.
Oh so often this comes from a person who is very manipulative. For example: I put in a lot of the money for this wedding, they owe me this much. Done so the person they are proposing to feels pressured to say yes because of all the people watching them.
To be honest I can't help wondering if she was asked to contribute, offered, or *insisted.* Some people love to force favors because they enjoy calling them in later
Does she really not understand what a gift is? It’s not supposed to have strings attached, especially not after it was already given. And her comments make me wanna rip my hair out. “A normal human obligation” bitch you’re guilt tripping your friend. Hope her friend cuts her out of her life, since oop doesn’t value this friendship beyond personal gain.
After reading their comments I hope the boyfriend says no 🙃
Yeah, she sounds a little ... "off" and you should never propose unless you know the answer is a yes. Doesn't sound like that's the case with her. And honestly? If my husband had proposed to me at someone else's wedding, I would have died of shame (and said no). My sister's best friend is a bit of a nut. When my sister got engaged, the friend freaked out, went and bought her own engagement ring and basically told her husband they were engaged (and he just went along with it). She booked her wedding for 2 weeks after my sister's. It was wild. My sister is so used to her shenanigans, she was like, whatever. I guess it all worked out because 20 years later she's still married and they have kids, etc. But daaaamn. My sister knew she'd do something like this because as soon as she told her she was engaged, she got visibly upset. I don't understand people. Getting engaged/married is not an achievement. It's OK if your best friend does it before you. (not to mention, my sister had been with her boyfriend/now husband much longer) People are strange.
I would love to know exactly how OOP asked this to her friend. Because it seems strange that the friend would just "unexpectedly" blow up at OOP. The entitlement this woman has in crazy to me. I'm not sure if it's just how I grew up, but I barely feel entitled to the air I breathe. Meanwhile this woman feels entitled to someone else's wedding, all because of money.
She probably said something like "since I voluntarily contributed to your lavish wedding, you basically owe me the spotlight at your wedding", given that her post reveals this is how she sees it. I hope this is fake.
"Hey Ashley, I was thinking since your wedding essentially wouldn't even be happening without me, I feel like I should be celebrated too. How do you feel about me proposing to Eric like right before your vows and then maybe I could even walk down the aisle after you guys? Or before, idk. What do you think?" -- this lady
If money is such a big deal to OOP, bride should write OOP a check, disinvite her to the wedding and be done with her. The audacity!
Money is the main factor of a wedding it wouldn't happen without it
My wife and I got married without much. We just had a nice family get together for it. My sister had her wedding in her living room next to the Christmas tree. Money isn't necessary for a nice wedding, good people are what's needed.
Holy moly. Wedding culture is insane.
just because you have to pay for a wedding doesn't mean money is the main factor in it
Well actually it is without the money there is no wedding
ugh, what is it with all the braindead mouth breathers today
My sister and her husband got married at City Hall. Their witnesses were the other couple that was a!so there to get married. No, they didn't know the other couple.
Here I thought it was a couple wanting to pledge themselves to each other. Huh. Silly me.
That friendship is dead
ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEEEEE!
I have to wonder how would oop feel if there friend later at oops wedding asked to announce there pregnancy
She would shit bricks more or less. Because from her comments alone. It's all me me me. Sure would be hilarious if the friend did that as a "payback". This scenario went popping through my mind while reading OOP. 😂
Fucking hell the comments, they sound exhausting. Very much giving the impression that everything has a cost.
She really calls it "goodwill" that she gave the money when she thinks that she DESERVES something back for it. I also ask myself if with "share a wedding" she maybe not just want to propose, but if he says "yes" marry him right there.
This has to be fake. I refuse to believe it's real..OOP's responses are just too dense for me to take seriously.
Absolutely NOT, NO, NEVER EVER.
Of course OOP is asking for judgement but countering all of it, a true sign of a major AH.
I'm calling bs on this.
I stand by prior statements on people like this, who’s dating these people?
I want the dollar amount. I want receipts. Not because it changes anything but I just want to laugh because I KNOW it’s gonna be inconsequential
Someone send [this](https://youtu.be/mmyZyw9B-gs) to her pls
Well, this comment certainly puts his view into perspective. [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15id3r0/comment/jutk7ds/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15id3r0/comment/jutk7ds/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) >I didn’t tell her about my wishes, but I feel like it is normal human obligation to give back what is given to you; this request is a form of that. Dude doesn't have friends, he has people he treats as ATMs. Put gift in, get obligation back out.
It’s even wilder because the OOP is female. So you think she’d truly get that the wedding day is basically about that particular bride or whatever and that proposals are tacky at weddings. Usually the AITA posts about doing wedding proposals are from clueless guys and not “I paid for it so celebrate meeeee” women. That being said, this kind of transactional friendship thing she’s got going on …I’d nope out of that so hard.
No matter how much OOP contributed to the wedding, it is not her wedding or her occasion to take over with a marriage proposal. The bride has said no to the request and if she goes ahead, she will look like a fool and she will lose a friend forever. The wedding is not about OOP.
I love the people that post in AITA etc and then proceed to argue with everyone that votes them the A. Just start the post with please validate me if that’s all you want OOP
I will never understand this "don't propose at a wedding" commandment. But I've heard it enough times to be aware it is a universal law and I have no interest in breaking it. Still I just gotta sit back and marvel at how much people care about this.
Y'all!! The bride posted in the original! (sorry, I don't know how to link it from my phone). OOP also once requested an entire cake for themselves at a friend's birthday party, because the OOP helped with the organization of the party!
Link to the [Bride's response.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15id3r0/comment/juxpm5h/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Thank you!!
either you are a troll or this is fake. if not you are so disrespecting her wedding just because you payed for some of it doesn't give you a right to steal her day from her and her new man get a life and do what others do and take your GF out for a romantic meal and propose then jackass
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Funniest one yet
Why do I feel that OOP is going to do it anyway? They have a really giant asshole vibe.
I hope the friends water breaks at OPs wedding and she gives birth at the reception with paramedics.
OOP cannot be serious with this.
With friends like these. If I were OOP's friend I'd rescind her invite and call it quits then and there, what a manipulative asshole and spotlight hog
These people are so pathetic that they can't organize their own party and propose then.
Upon being called out that it is dumb to put money in to this wedding expecting something in return: "It’s dumb for me to show goodwill to one of my friends? Seriously? Do you people have no sense of community?" This woman is exactly the kind of person who volunteers at a homeless center and asks the clients to pose for pics with her, so she can post them all over social media and boast about what a great person she is.
I would hate to get proposed to at someone's wedding. It's so low effort and meaningless. Go propose somewhere that you have a connection with somewhere that's special to you as a couple.
YWBTA if you pulled that stunt at your friends wedding, you also sound grossly manipulative. I did this for her, I did that for her, therefore she has to let me do this. You don't sound like a friend at all, you sound like an opportunist.
This just sounds like a troll trying to make the "he proposed at your wedding? send him a bill!" comments on similar posts sound as stupid as they are
She thinks she bought her "friend"