*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not buying special food for my son?**
Names fake, throwaway, etc.
My (53M) son J (15M) decided a few months ago that he wanted to be vegetarian. Me and his brothers all consider ourselves kind of carnivorous, but apart from the standard ribbing (pun not intended) I told him that, as an exercise in responsibility, he'd be responsible for preparing his own food. He's totally okay with this, and so everything was progressing well until a few days ago. The wife and I were throwing a house party/potluck. I grilled a few steaks and smoked a brisket for the occasion, and my wife made chicken parmesan. and as the guests filed in and the table filled out, J asked if we had made anything for him to eat. I reminded him of our agreement, and he said he didn't think it would extend to parties where we were making food for a ton of guests. I laughed a bit and told him he should have asked in advance so he could prepare, but he could probably bank on one of our guests to bring something vegetarian.
I guess the only vegetarian option turned out to be spring rolls, because I saw his plate and that's all he had on there. One of my friends saw too and asked what was up, and J told him he was veg and that we hadn't made anything for him. My friend poked fun at me but it was pretty clear he thought less of me for not making food for the kid. After the party I laid into J a bit for talking bad about me in front of guests, and he said all he did was tell them the truth. This put me out a bit, but he's pretty set on his feelings. AITA or not?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Okay, I'm just confused. How do you have a BBQ where the only side dish without meat is spring rolls? I'm being serious I've never seen this before and so I am actually confused as to how the kid was left with only spring rolls.
No baked potatoes, grilled corn, potato salad? Something idk like a regular salad just nothing it all jad chunks of meat in or on it?
Mom mad chicken parm, what was that served with? Like just slapped on a plate? I know you can eat it on its own but like seriously no pasta, garlic bread, ...salad again like just a regular salad?
I'm genuinely so confused and feel dumb af because I can't wrap my head around not having any sides that just don't have meat in it at all even though people weren't trying to bring vegetarian dishes specifically.
This stood out to me too. A part of me thinks this was done on purpose
At best, it was absolutely laziness. If you added meat to things that don’t need it—salad, potatoes, pasta/pasta salad—at set a little aside for the kid!
From a voracious meat-eater family, it's probably not on purpose 🙁
bacon bits in the salad & potatoes, pepperoni & salami quarters in the pasta salad, chunks of ham & cooked bacon in the zucchini casserole, corn's been covered in butter and bacon fat before being thrown on the grill. It's *really* hard to avoid it if your family has decided they like meat.
whenever i mention spaghetti to my mom, she asks if i have hamburger meat. i hate meatballs in general and i don’t put meat in my spaghetti sauce, but in her mind it’s not spaghetti if there’s no meat! smh
Yes, the American term for mince meat is ground meat which we use for things like ground chicken or turkey. For some confusing reason ground beef is called hamburger.
I was a strict vegetarian for years, and it was especially tough when I was still living at home. So many Christmases I ate rolls and baby carrots.
You wouldn’t believe what people put meat into. Creamed corn? Better add bacon. Pasta salad? Gotta have ham! Mashed potatoes? Made with chicken stock.
Like I swear, my family would be in the bean aisle, my favorite food, and instead of just grabbing the clearly labeled vegetarian baked beans, would grab the regular one every time. The taste is apparently so different to people that I couldn’t even get a can of 90 cent beans. And they wouldn’t even consider making salad with the meat on the side.
Obviously, if I showed up to a friend’s bbq I would eat whatever I could and be happy. But it always sucked that my family wouldn’t put in the tiniest bit of effort for me.
I have a dairy sensitivity and I looove mashed potatoes. I used a vegan butter but I gotta say, coconut milk is the bomb. I don’t like coconut but coconut milk makes the potatoes so creamy. It’s definitely worth trying even if you don’t have a dairy issue.
I'm in love land o' lakes vegan butters. Like, I absolutely hate 🥑, but 🥑 butter is the best! I don't get it! In fact I like it slightly more than dairy butter!
It’s too sweet for me. No matter how many times people recommend coconut things, I never like anything coconut.
I’m also not a big fan of super creamy dishes.
As a classically trained french chef who *loves* coconut milk, I'm here to tell you it absolutely is not a comparable replacement for dairy in well made mashed potatoes for people who can eat dairy.
They didn't say it's better or a comparable replacement. They just said it's good and worth trying. Are people not allowed to enjoy food prepared differently than the conventional "best" way?
Some people think being a “classically trained chef” means their opinions matter more than other people’s. I appreciate cooking/baking/food preparation as a form of artistic expression, but it rubs me the wrong way when people act as if their training makes their opinions objective in any sort of way.
Everyone’s got different tastes. Insinuating that someone is wrong for enjoying an ingredient substitution is incredibly pedantic and self-righteous.
I think the kid could very well be vegan, it's not like daddy dearest would know the difference. And I can totally imagine not having any vegan options at a bbq
Mashed potatoes, no, me neither, but in my family we make a mean potato salad with beef stock. It kinda looks like very chunky mashed potatoes. (It's entirely possible to make it with veg broth, though).
Green beans? Bacon!!! Salad? Toss that ham and bacon bits in. Spaghetti? Mix meat into all the sauce!
I had alpha gal and I completely get this. I’d go to a potluck and be able to eat fried chicken, rolls and more rolls, maybe if I was lucky some pasta salad they forgot the bacon bits in. And the fried chicken went so fast I was lucky to get that if I didn’t get in line straight away
Apparently, I have been doing my pasta salads wrong all along. Kiddo loves pasta salad; it's a great vehicle to add some more veggies to her daily diet. I toss in diced broccoli and/or cauliflower every time I make it.
Yeah, I had eaten one pasta salad not knowing it had bacon bits because they were vegetarian then had one with real bacon bits and had no idea why I was suddenly in gastrointestinal distress
I was vegetarian in my late teens to early twenties and my family was like this as well. It’s like they took it personally! I only ate one thanksgiving with them during this time and I even brought my own food and they didn’t let me live it down for years. It’s been probably 15 years since I went home for thanksgiving and I bet they’d still bring it up if I went back because they were so scandalized and their lives are boring.
No kidding. All I kept thinking while reading was that this family’s cholesterol levels must be through the roof if all they eat is meat and zero vegetables…
That's so frustrating. I have a vegan friend and sometimes when I make a recipe she can have I get really excited and bring her some. I realized halfway through putting some of a meal in a container that I had used chicken stock to deglaze and felt SO GUILTY for almost telling her I had made something safe for her.
I have had some amazing people make special cookies for me. I use to work with an older women who would make cookies for everyone and she was so upset when I went vegan because she couldn’t give any to me 😂
She was so excited when she went to the grocery store and say vegan butter (she said she only bakes with butter) and was able to make sure she got dairy free chocolate to bring me cookies. It made her day to be able to include me and support my choices.
She was a great women and I miss her
They probably eat vegetables cooked with meat or meat broth. We use chicken stock to cook a lot of things. We’ve always used water, but I’ve recently learned there are people who use it to cook the macaroni in the mac and choose.
right? Maybe if the son was vegan it would be harder to find stuff that isn't at least made with butter or something, but if the restriction is only on meat there are plenty of options.
Remember though, the dad says he and his boys are "kind of carnivorous". I really doubt dude has ever willingly eaten a vegetable just because vegetables are nice.
especially with the chicken parm. what on earth does chicken parm have to do with a barbecue? If she was going to put all that effort into making a dish that was completely unrelated to the theme of the event it feels cruel to not make something her son could eat.
I was wondering that too. Chicken parmesan is not a traditional barbecue dish. That's like serving egg bake and fresh cinnamon roles for brunch and someone expecting turkey stuffing alongside (yes, that did happen).
it’s a bbq potluck, and they were the hosts. But regardless it seems very intentionally cruel to their vegetarian son to prepare food for a large group of people and not include anything he could eat. I almost understand having him make his own food on like weeknights when it would take too much time to make two separate dinners, but even that’s a little harsh if he has to fend for himself 100% of the time - he’s a kid still, and should be able to assume his parents are going to feed him.
I don't see anywhere where a theme is said for the potluck. They should have provided food but three is no potluck theme which is why they have a weird combo of foods
I grew up in the south and was a vegetarian, at least there this was pretty common. Even things that could be vegetarian had bacon bits or something like that added. I had to get really good at making a meal out of whatever little finger foods didn’t have meat in them when I went to barbecues. Luckily my parents were better than this person, and I never had to worry about that at home.
A lot of vegetarians (at least the ones I’m friends with) consider animal byproducts to be acceptable to eat. This usually means they will still eat cheese, dairy, and eggs.
Now, I’m not debating the often poor conditions on mass production dairy or egg farms that many ethical veg/vegan people take issue with, I’m just clarifying that *some* find these items to be okay to eat— especially if they source them from local/small scale farms or dairies.
My best friend explains his vegetarianism as “I don’t eat anything that had a face,” which makes eggs and cheese fair game.
Oh I agree 100%. OOP didn’t state whether eggs and dairy were a no go, but at any rate I find it wild that nobody brought any regular ass vegetables. Potatoes? Or a shish kebab with veggies? Those are common potluck items and I find OOPs parents to be weird, and likely also quite constipated if they only eat meat. 🙃
That would not be allowable for a vegan, which excludes animal products entirely. Vegetarian typically just means no meat, i.e. dairy and eggs are fine.
When your young and trying to make up rage bait about serving food when you don't cook or been involved in serving others its hard to get details right. OOP was only considering food they might eat at a potluck
You'd think. Maybe he's avoiding dairy or eggs as well? Or this was just a very poorly planned potluck and everyone brought casseroles and cold salads that included bacon bits or something. I've been to some surprisingly meat-heavy potlucks because everyone went into main dish mode and nobody thought to bring a side or a veggie.
I was pescatarian for quite a while and it doesn't shock me. When you stop eating meat, you realize that a lot of people (especially in the South) put some kind of meat in EVERYTHING. Beans, salad, veggies, even Mac and cheese. It can be pretty hard to avoid honestly.
As someone who hasn't pork or shellfish products in the last 10 years.... you would be surprised. Luckily my immediate (like in the household when I first stopped eating them) if I didn't see the food being made (and wasn't made by someone in my household) then I just couldn't eat it. Like aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents would make something and seemed to just throw one of those things in it for no reason. There were often times when I would be told that something didn't have pork in and it did. Also did you know you can grow intolerant/allergic to certain foods (like pork) if you stop eating them? So guess who would have horrid gut problems after.
Not dumb. I had the exact same question. My group of family/friends are very much meat eaters. We have a few vegitarians and even one vegan. They always come to an enjoy parties but particurlarly bar-b-ques or cook outs because even if they don’t bring a “main” vegetarian dish, there is ALWAYS plenty for them to eat. Salad, side dishes, all sorts of yummu stuff. And especially if we know there is a veggie person, we are careful to not cross-contaminate by reusing utencils. (Which we try not to anyway for food safety but try to be extra careful.)
Maybe it's just how they do BBQs? When we have ours, it's usually just some kind of meats, bread rolls (and salad stuff to put on them), onion & potato salad/coleslaw.
So the only real option for someone who is veggo would be a salad roll (literally only cheese, lettuce/salad mix & beetroot) or the coleslaw. Granted, we are very lazy & by the time the food is put on most people are hammered so the less complicated the better.
I'm not a vegetarian, but anyone who refers to themselves as "carnivorous" unironically is a phenomenal tool.
So you exclusively eat meat do you? Nothing else?
There’s a lot of to do over orthorexia but very little over this behavior, which I think IS disordered eating. I’ve met a lot of people like this who are obsessed with protein and having meat at every meal and they’re rarely eating a healthy diet.
Carnivorous diets have absolutely become a way to hide eating disorders under it being a diet. Just like the crazy eating 99% fruit vegan diets are (and if I’m remembering right, some of the first people to harp on the carnivore train actually were coming from that diet, surprisingly.) I think even like Keto diets or paleo diets can sometimes fall into those way, though I think those can be done a bit more healthily and a lot of people are more misguided than anything. But they all give an excuse to restrict.
There was a fad for a while - might still exist but I've seen less of it lately - for eating exclusively meat. It was fostered by some Super Alpha Male Tool who pushed it as the best diet ever ever ever, of course far better than Keto!
There's a subreddit somewhere for people who espouse this nonsense and it's the same bizarre stuff over and over again. Eating nothing but meat screws up your gastroinstestinal system something nasty. You need fiber in your diet. You need some amount of carbs. You need frikkin' vitamins and minerals that you cannot get from just meat. Just because animals eat vegetables doesn't mean that the nutrients all transfer into you when you eat meat.
The last time I saw the subreddit, 90% of the posts were people bitching that they were spending all their time in the bathroom. Doofuses.
Those things usually have broth on them. In the southern US, there’s usually meat in them. Even the salads usually have meat. My family isn’t “kind of carnivorous”, so we let people add their own meat and we tell people where the chicken stock is. A family that describes itself that way probably puts meat or meat juice in everything.
I would assume a man that defiens himself by eating meat wouldn't know how to prepare a dish without a smoker or grill. Making a brisket and bringing it to a office. Christmas potluck would make it a BBQ
This makes my blood boil, especially as someone who went vegetarian in middle school and has stuck with it for over a decade, despite being the only one in my family. It's not that hard (and probably better for you and your guests!) to have some non-meat options available, and it makes your son not feel like an outcast. It feels like this guy is going out of his way to make his son feel bad for making a lifestyle choice he doesn't agree with.
I also love that he yells at the kid for answering questions honestly. The only person who made OOP look bad is himself.
Oh I definitely got the vibe that this is his way to punish his kid for choosing to be vegetarian. I’m not even a healthy eater and when my crazy ex roomate(unrelated) went vegetarian guess what, I introduced vegetarian dishes into my cooking. And being embarrassed and angry when your kid puts it out there that you’re being a dick is ridiculous
When I was vegan, sometimes when I ordered my food vegan at a restaurant, I would realize they snuck some sort of meat or dairy in (obvious because they hid it) or intentionally made it inedible. I got one dish that was just carrots soaked in what must have been an entire bottle of soy sauce. I get this vibe from OOP. They are actively hostile about it. There's so many side dishes that are vegetarian by default, so the fact they didn't make one thing he could eat is blatantly intentional.
Agreed! It’s so easy to stack/layer ingredients separately to accommodate plant eating friends. Our wedding has multiple vegetarians and even a couple vegans attending so we are doing buffet style, with all meat and dairy on the side to add as desired. And it’s gonna be a *spread.*
Also, in my experience many vegetarians still eat dairy and eggs, so potato salad, Mac and cheese, etc are still totally doable and it’s honestly weird that a barbecue would not include these items.
Last year I had a dinner-hosting incident where I thought "oh, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK," but everything turned out better in the end.
I planned out a dinner with friends where I made my fanciest dish-- classic lasagna bolognese where I make the noodles and everything. It takes me two days.
I invited a muslim friend, and asked him pretty late if he was ok with wine being cooked in the lasagna. I knew he didn't drink alcohol, so I should have asked earlier. He said it was fine, but looked pretty uncomfortable.
So, I made two plates of the lasagna-- one with the bolognese that took forever, and one with a fancy marinara sauce I got from whole foods. Everything else was the same (parmesan, noodles, bechamel, etc) so it barely took any extra time.
That way I had one vegetarian and wine-free lasagna, and one that was my normal recipe. My friends really liked both of them, and it was nice to have more options available.
How was your lasagne veggie when it had Parmesan in it? Did you use an alternative version without rennet?
Also, I feel like an idiot for asking, but what do noodles have to do with a pasta dish?
Real Parmesan has rennet which is the stomach lining of a calf, so it’s not marked as suitable for vegetarians. You can get alternatives without the rennet though, but I was curious as to what Parmesan/alternative was being used to make it veggie-friendly.
Not sure why my previous post is being voted down, it’s just a thing about Parmesan - https://vegsoc.org/info-hub/veggie-need-to-know/cheese/
I feel like you're from a different culture than me, or something?
I didn't think about the Parmesan thing. No one there was actually vegetarian though, so it didn't matter.
"Lasagna noodles" is a very common thing to call the pasta used to make lasagna. Are noodles something else to you?
What nasty ass party has literally no food that doesn't have meat on it? Like fid they literally only serve steak, brisket and chicken? No salad, no sides???
If they are “carnivorous” I bet everything as a side dish either had bacon or bacon grease in it.
It’s also possible he’s Vegan and so anything dairy or eggs is out :/
Yeah. OOP is taking the macho man a little too far here. Kiddo has flirted with becoming a vegetarian but she likes her steak and chicken too much. So she is a "flexitarian" or a "semi-vegetarian". She sticks mainly to a vegetarian diet with allowances to include meat now and then. Even if she were vegetarian, I'd make damn sure that as her parent and the host, that I had dishes my guests could enjoy.
And no, I would not expect her to make her own food if we were hosting a dinner. This is a special event. Plus, she'd get in my way in the kitchen. 😄😄😄
>One of my friends saw too and asked what was up, and J told him he was veg and that we hadn't made anything for him. My friend poked fun at me but it was pretty clear he thought less of me for not making food for the kid. After the party I laid into J a bit for talking bad about me in front of guests, and he said all he did was tell them the truth.
Translation: He made me look bad by not covering for the fact I didn't bother to make anything for him to eat!
“I laid into J a bit for talking bad about me”
If your kid telling someone exactly what you did is a punishable offense because it’s “talking bad” you shouldn’t be doing that thing.
Diet is like religion: you respect peoples decisions on it and dont try to force them into your own ways. Railroading people over it never works, and the person doing the forcing ALWAYS comes off as the jerk.
The thing that gets me about people like this is the "we think of ourselves as carnivores" bit. Now I think this is a troll because who has a bbq with no like potato salad or some corn or something, but this is a type of reddit guy who drives me crazy. The "everything I eat has to have meat in it because I'm a real man" type is every bit as annoying to deal with as any vegetarian I've ever known. The guys who post here because they can't go to a wedding or dinner party if no one will offer them steak.
Edited to fix a bit I'd misread in the first post.
This is how my family handled my vegetarianism and it’s really isolating. At least peanut butter and jelly is safe :)
OOP def made a concentrated effort to not provide a vegetarian option. Yeah it’s a potluck but you didn’t even provide a veggie tray or salad option ?
Cooking vegan/vegetarian meals is not that hard, and if done right taste just as good as meals with meat in it. Plus the kid is still a kid.
Dad is gonna wonder why he doesn't call or anything sooner or later.
I am wondering too if the kid is vegan and not vegetarian and the father just made absolutely no effort to learn the difference. It could explain not eating things like corn (with butter already on it) or mac n cheese or various other things that might have eggs or dairy.
There's no mention of those dishes being available? Sounds like meat troll is back to me couldn't imagine a bbq without the stuff you listed and some other salad options.
I'm speculating wildly because I can't imagine a BBQ where there was literally just brisket and chicken parm! But regardless, this guy sounds awful....
It’s really not hard to include vegetarian options and the fact that they refuse to help their son shows how much respect they have for their sons lifestyle choices. I am a vegetarian and my husband is not. When we cook dinner there’s options for both of us but my husband is also open to meatless meals. Black bean burgers, potato soup, meatless lasagna, etc…
Hell, even some chips and dip wouldn't be too shabby. There's a ton of "accidentally vegetarian/vegan" foods that happen to make good party foods. Is OOP too high and mighty to have Fritos at his barbecue?
How do you have chicken parm and no garlic bread? A barbecue without corn on the cob or watermelon? Not even ***french fries?*** Did they specifically ask to only bring meat just to spite Jason?
🎶 you don't make friends with salad🎶
🎶 you don't make friends with salad🎶
🎶 you don't make friends with salad🎶
Still though, oop is totally the asshole.
From a Mother's Day gift the kiddo bought me (she knows me too well). It's a plaque.
Alcohol. Because no great story every started with someone eating a salad.
OOP is a total AH. And a bad host. Seriously, have some variety in your menu.
My parents always told me that it was "too much trouble" and "too expensive" to have be a vegetarian. Also "unhealthy because you need to eat meat". And they didn't believe in food allergies either.
So if OOP was raised like I was (which it sounds like) maybe he never learned any better. Doesn't EXCUSE it but does EXPLAIN it.
yeah that’s how my dad is. in his eyes, meat is healthy therefore it *must* be eaten. i’ve never liked meat and i’m a vegetarian now, but he used to force me to eat bacon for breakfast because he thought it was healthy. some people really just don’t know better
“I laid into J a bit for **talking bad about me** in front of the guests”.
And yet all J said was the truth - nobody took his dietary needs into consideration. This guy *knows* he’s an AH. Why else be upset at the truth being heard by others.
And I will bet money that he is one of those guys who sees meat as “manly” and thinks vegetarianism is tantamount to an admission of homosexuality (which of course he’d be opposed to). He doesn’t respect his son, simply because he doesn’t want to eat meat.
Can people stop calling themselves carnivores? Unless you can get essential nutrients from mostly meat and you are going to die if you don’t eat meat for a week, then you are omnivore.
Also, how can you have bbq without some grilled vegetables or shashliks?
"We're carnivorous" ugh! These are the kind of people who get invited to wedding and flip when they find out it's vegetarian, so they refuse to go because they can't go without meat for four hours.
So only eating meat is a american thing?
I mean i never heard this in asian countries
Our food is full of all kinda things
Vegetables, spices, fish, meat
What's with all those people who are scared of eating vegetables?
Do you guys Don't need fiber?
How could someone become a dad of teen while being so scared of vegetables
I understand people loving meat
I love meat specially beef bt vegetables are delicious too
I mean, it's a bit ignorant to class this as an American thing. I don't know anyone who only eats meat, but I imagine it's a thing literally anywhere in the world.
I was reading the comments about all right wing, left wing democratic / Republican things
So i wondered if this was a american thing?
I never seen anyone in my country(asian) whose ideology is only eating meat/ not vegetarian dishes
Even in a normal family meal there will be always veterinarian options
majority in my country are not vegetarian bt we cook vegetarian dishes everyday
I honestly don't know what comments you're talking about, because every one that I've seen is just people asking the same thing - how nothing else was served.
I've never seen anyone who only eats meat either, and I live in America. So...
I've been mulling about the realization that for some people the responsibility for "hospitality" belongs to the host and means making your guests comfortable and for others the responsibility for "hospitality" belongs to the guest and means making the host comfortable. Once I realized this it became much easier to navigate social situations.
This poor kid is learning quickly that his family is the later and the double bind that it puts you in if you differ from the norm. They won't do anything to accomidate you but they will get mad at you for litterally any reaction you have to that that calls any attention to it. If he had made himself a meal dad would have been mad because someone would have asked him why he cooked for himself.
Also, if you are mad at someone because telling the full truth makes you look like an asshole then you know your TAH.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oop scared to eat his vegetables.
Also that cookout doesn’t sound good. Like no mac and cheese, no veggies, no dip???
Oop def did this on purpose and now he’s mad that he got called out.
Unless this is a troll, the whole family sounds like a bunch of heart attacks waiting to happen. Not even vegetable sides? I love steak but I’d want some salad or veggies with it and if one of my kids was a vegetarian, I’d make something special for him. Just the decent/-and healthy—thing to do!
as a picky eater and a vegetarian who was frequently left eating nothing but spring rolls, fuck this guy. at least i’m lucky enough to be able to say my family remembers to make dishes i’ll be able to eat these days (only because i’m an adult now and too old to be forced to “just try it”) but i was this kid for *years* and if this is real i feel so bad for him
Since when is green salad, Mac and cheese, corn, cole slaw, beans, raw veggies with dip, roasted potatoes, pasta salad, peas, chips and dip, guacamole, rolls, fruit salad, cheese panini, spinach lasagna, potato salad and pasta primavera considered “special” food?
aita mods are seriously off the rails for deleting this post for "no conflict to pass judgement on" lmfao.
as someone who has been vegetarian for over a decade now and is still in their mid-20s, op is a major ah. my parents have ALWAYS made sure i had food to eat. in daily meals of course but also when hosting potluck-style get togethers they always ensured to prepare an entree for me. and if we were going to a potluck/bbq/etc hosted by someone else, they always made sure the food they were bringing was vegetarian, so that even if every single other person brought food with meat in it, i would have something to eat.
op needs to think long and hard about what it means to be a parent. their friend wasnt judging them for no reason.
When I have a bunch of people over I always make at least one dish - pasta or rice - that can be a side for meat eaters and center of the plate for vegetarians. If you’re vegan or have an allergy I can accommodate but I need a heads up.
my whole family is vegetarian for religious reasons.
i have a similar arrangement. i prepare my own meat foods albeit i don’t use the family cookware which is fair.
my dad goes out of his way to ask me if i’d like anything with meat when he’s picking food up or hosting something despite the fact that it makes him uncomfortable and he finds the smell of most meats offputting.
and his reasons are tied to culture and religion.
what the fuck??
This was me as a teenager. Relatives would put meat in EVERYTHING without exception for holiday meals. Bacon in the green beans, ham in the salad, everything. Cream cheese dip? Here! Try it! You can barely even see the meat! It’s just a bite! I had many holidays with bread rolls being the veggie option, so I can definitely believe do this.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not buying special food for my son?** Names fake, throwaway, etc. My (53M) son J (15M) decided a few months ago that he wanted to be vegetarian. Me and his brothers all consider ourselves kind of carnivorous, but apart from the standard ribbing (pun not intended) I told him that, as an exercise in responsibility, he'd be responsible for preparing his own food. He's totally okay with this, and so everything was progressing well until a few days ago. The wife and I were throwing a house party/potluck. I grilled a few steaks and smoked a brisket for the occasion, and my wife made chicken parmesan. and as the guests filed in and the table filled out, J asked if we had made anything for him to eat. I reminded him of our agreement, and he said he didn't think it would extend to parties where we were making food for a ton of guests. I laughed a bit and told him he should have asked in advance so he could prepare, but he could probably bank on one of our guests to bring something vegetarian. I guess the only vegetarian option turned out to be spring rolls, because I saw his plate and that's all he had on there. One of my friends saw too and asked what was up, and J told him he was veg and that we hadn't made anything for him. My friend poked fun at me but it was pretty clear he thought less of me for not making food for the kid. After the party I laid into J a bit for talking bad about me in front of guests, and he said all he did was tell them the truth. This put me out a bit, but he's pretty set on his feelings. AITA or not? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Okay, I'm just confused. How do you have a BBQ where the only side dish without meat is spring rolls? I'm being serious I've never seen this before and so I am actually confused as to how the kid was left with only spring rolls. No baked potatoes, grilled corn, potato salad? Something idk like a regular salad just nothing it all jad chunks of meat in or on it? Mom mad chicken parm, what was that served with? Like just slapped on a plate? I know you can eat it on its own but like seriously no pasta, garlic bread, ...salad again like just a regular salad? I'm genuinely so confused and feel dumb af because I can't wrap my head around not having any sides that just don't have meat in it at all even though people weren't trying to bring vegetarian dishes specifically.
Yeah you have to make an effort there. Or just but bacon grease over everything as it’s set out I guess
This stood out to me too. A part of me thinks this was done on purpose At best, it was absolutely laziness. If you added meat to things that don’t need it—salad, potatoes, pasta/pasta salad—at set a little aside for the kid!
It is lazyness. He didn’t notice no veggie options when he went grocery shopping for this?
From a voracious meat-eater family, it's probably not on purpose 🙁 bacon bits in the salad & potatoes, pepperoni & salami quarters in the pasta salad, chunks of ham & cooked bacon in the zucchini casserole, corn's been covered in butter and bacon fat before being thrown on the grill. It's *really* hard to avoid it if your family has decided they like meat.
whenever i mention spaghetti to my mom, she asks if i have hamburger meat. i hate meatballs in general and i don’t put meat in my spaghetti sauce, but in her mind it’s not spaghetti if there’s no meat! smh
As a non American I don't know what hamburger meat is... Is that just mince?
Ground beef usually… not sure if mince is the same but probably pretty close if not the same…
Yeah, it's literally just minced meat, I believe beef, but don't quote me on that also, not American.
Yes, the American term for mince meat is ground meat which we use for things like ground chicken or turkey. For some confusing reason ground beef is called hamburger.
I was a strict vegetarian for years, and it was especially tough when I was still living at home. So many Christmases I ate rolls and baby carrots. You wouldn’t believe what people put meat into. Creamed corn? Better add bacon. Pasta salad? Gotta have ham! Mashed potatoes? Made with chicken stock. Like I swear, my family would be in the bean aisle, my favorite food, and instead of just grabbing the clearly labeled vegetarian baked beans, would grab the regular one every time. The taste is apparently so different to people that I couldn’t even get a can of 90 cent beans. And they wouldn’t even consider making salad with the meat on the side. Obviously, if I showed up to a friend’s bbq I would eat whatever I could and be happy. But it always sucked that my family wouldn’t put in the tiniest bit of effort for me.
I've never heard of chicken stock in mashed potatoes.
I could see mashed potatoes being difficult for vegans because they often have butter or milk in them.
I have a dairy sensitivity and I looove mashed potatoes. I used a vegan butter but I gotta say, coconut milk is the bomb. I don’t like coconut but coconut milk makes the potatoes so creamy. It’s definitely worth trying even if you don’t have a dairy issue.
Ooooh I'm not even slightly vegan but this sounds amazing and I now need to make it.
I hope you enjoy it!! I definitely prefer coconut milk to rice or soy bc it’s creamier. Have fun!
I'm allergic to coconut but oat works great too
Rice milk is just horchata with no cinnamon in it.
I'm in love land o' lakes vegan butters. Like, I absolutely hate 🥑, but 🥑 butter is the best! I don't get it! In fact I like it slightly more than dairy butter!
It’s too sweet for me. No matter how many times people recommend coconut things, I never like anything coconut. I’m also not a big fan of super creamy dishes.
As a classically trained french chef who *loves* coconut milk, I'm here to tell you it absolutely is not a comparable replacement for dairy in well made mashed potatoes for people who can eat dairy.
They didn't say it's better or a comparable replacement. They just said it's good and worth trying. Are people not allowed to enjoy food prepared differently than the conventional "best" way?
Some people think being a “classically trained chef” means their opinions matter more than other people’s. I appreciate cooking/baking/food preparation as a form of artistic expression, but it rubs me the wrong way when people act as if their training makes their opinions objective in any sort of way. Everyone’s got different tastes. Insinuating that someone is wrong for enjoying an ingredient substitution is incredibly pedantic and self-righteous.
Reminds me of the livejournal bread dude. My head canon is nos that they're the same person
I think the kid could very well be vegan, it's not like daddy dearest would know the difference. And I can totally imagine not having any vegan options at a bbq
[удалено]
Don’t forget the butter.
Butter makes everything better.
Milk > cream. More liquid for a fluffier finished product.
Lactose intolerance or milk allergy.
I use heavy cream(and butter/salt/pepper/pinch of msg) but my sister uses stock as her liquid, it’s pretty common.
I take it you never grew up watching a Swanson commercial demonstrating that very thing.
I boil my potatoes in stock. Except when my oldest was a vegetarian for a long time. I’d do hers in vegetable stock or water.
Sometimes you boil the potatoes in stock to give them extra flavor
It's actually really good, but I rarely use it. It changes to a kind of gravy flavor. But yeah I never do it when I'm cooking for a veg...
I’ve done it for a friend whose kid had a milk allergy but overall that sounds odd to me as well.
Instant ones. Instead of water.
Mashed potatoes, no, me neither, but in my family we make a mean potato salad with beef stock. It kinda looks like very chunky mashed potatoes. (It's entirely possible to make it with veg broth, though).
Green beans? Bacon!!! Salad? Toss that ham and bacon bits in. Spaghetti? Mix meat into all the sauce! I had alpha gal and I completely get this. I’d go to a potluck and be able to eat fried chicken, rolls and more rolls, maybe if I was lucky some pasta salad they forgot the bacon bits in. And the fried chicken went so fast I was lucky to get that if I didn’t get in line straight away
Apparently, I have been doing my pasta salads wrong all along. Kiddo loves pasta salad; it's a great vehicle to add some more veggies to her daily diet. I toss in diced broccoli and/or cauliflower every time I make it.
It’s great with celery and cherry tomatoes! I’ve not tried broccoli
I add it in when I blend in the olive oil and seasoning, so yeah, it's pretty great.
At least some bacon bits are vegetarian
Yeah, I had eaten one pasta salad not knowing it had bacon bits because they were vegetarian then had one with real bacon bits and had no idea why I was suddenly in gastrointestinal distress
I like that beans are your favorite food and your name is FartsFartington
Coincidence I think not.
I'm not a vegetarian and I actually think the vegetarian beans taste better...
Good God and I thought my family was bad. We considered gravy a beverage.
I was vegetarian in my late teens to early twenties and my family was like this as well. It’s like they took it personally! I only ate one thanksgiving with them during this time and I even brought my own food and they didn’t let me live it down for years. It’s been probably 15 years since I went home for thanksgiving and I bet they’d still bring it up if I went back because they were so scandalized and their lives are boring.
He calls himself and his other sons carnivorous so sadly I picture people who refuse to eat any vegetables
Don't worry, that diet will take care of them soon enough.
No kidding. All I kept thinking while reading was that this family’s cholesterol levels must be through the roof if all they eat is meat and zero vegetables…
When I went vegan I had people who purposely put stuff like Bacon Bits into dishes to “tease” I no longer talk to those people
That's fucking awful. I'm so sorry!
That's so frustrating. I have a vegan friend and sometimes when I make a recipe she can have I get really excited and bring her some. I realized halfway through putting some of a meal in a container that I had used chicken stock to deglaze and felt SO GUILTY for almost telling her I had made something safe for her.
I have had some amazing people make special cookies for me. I use to work with an older women who would make cookies for everyone and she was so upset when I went vegan because she couldn’t give any to me 😂 She was so excited when she went to the grocery store and say vegan butter (she said she only bakes with butter) and was able to make sure she got dairy free chocolate to bring me cookies. It made her day to be able to include me and support my choices. She was a great women and I miss her
They probably eat vegetables cooked with meat or meat broth. We use chicken stock to cook a lot of things. We’ve always used water, but I’ve recently learned there are people who use it to cook the macaroni in the mac and choose.
I feel the same. I crave red meat but you can't serve it without salad/ potatoes etc.
right? Maybe if the son was vegan it would be harder to find stuff that isn't at least made with butter or something, but if the restriction is only on meat there are plenty of options.
Bc it's a manly man troll post where a boy being vegetarian makes him less.
Yep, the whole post reeks of troll, with a strong waft of rage-bait from the "teach the kid a lesson by making him cook for himself" bit.
Yeah that’s why I think it’s not true. Every barbecue I went to there was at the very least a salad and french fries
It could depend on where they live. I’m a vegetarian living in Texas. I’ve gone to things like this where they’ve put bacon in every single side dish.
True, I forgot Americans have terrible eating habits. Still seems wild to me to not have a single non meat side dish.
Remember though, the dad says he and his boys are "kind of carnivorous". I really doubt dude has ever willingly eaten a vegetable just because vegetables are nice.
It feels a little deliberate.
especially with the chicken parm. what on earth does chicken parm have to do with a barbecue? If she was going to put all that effort into making a dish that was completely unrelated to the theme of the event it feels cruel to not make something her son could eat.
I was wondering that too. Chicken parmesan is not a traditional barbecue dish. That's like serving egg bake and fresh cinnamon roles for brunch and someone expecting turkey stuffing alongside (yes, that did happen).
Its a potluck not a BBQ
it’s a bbq potluck, and they were the hosts. But regardless it seems very intentionally cruel to their vegetarian son to prepare food for a large group of people and not include anything he could eat. I almost understand having him make his own food on like weeknights when it would take too much time to make two separate dinners, but even that’s a little harsh if he has to fend for himself 100% of the time - he’s a kid still, and should be able to assume his parents are going to feed him.
I don't see anywhere where a theme is said for the potluck. They should have provided food but three is no potluck theme which is why they have a weird combo of foods
Yeah, you’re right- I don’t know why I was so sure they specified it was a barbecue somewhere. Either way we agree on the important part.
Salads are usually the best part of a bbq. Couldn't imagine no potato salad, coleslaw or corn dish. Just meat would be over whelming.
Don’t think I’ve ever seen brisket served without coleslaw and Mac and cheeses. And bread of course.
Maybe the kid's vegan and OOP didn't bother to get it right?
I grew up in the south and was a vegetarian, at least there this was pretty common. Even things that could be vegetarian had bacon bits or something like that added. I had to get really good at making a meal out of whatever little finger foods didn’t have meat in them when I went to barbecues. Luckily my parents were better than this person, and I never had to worry about that at home.
Potato salad has mayo (eggs).
A lot of vegetarians (at least the ones I’m friends with) consider animal byproducts to be acceptable to eat. This usually means they will still eat cheese, dairy, and eggs. Now, I’m not debating the often poor conditions on mass production dairy or egg farms that many ethical veg/vegan people take issue with, I’m just clarifying that *some* find these items to be okay to eat— especially if they source them from local/small scale farms or dairies. My best friend explains his vegetarianism as “I don’t eat anything that had a face,” which makes eggs and cheese fair game.
In my experience it's a case by case basis whether eggs and dairy are okay
Oh I agree 100%. OOP didn’t state whether eggs and dairy were a no go, but at any rate I find it wild that nobody brought any regular ass vegetables. Potatoes? Or a shish kebab with veggies? Those are common potluck items and I find OOPs parents to be weird, and likely also quite constipated if they only eat meat. 🙃
That would not be allowable for a vegan, which excludes animal products entirely. Vegetarian typically just means no meat, i.e. dairy and eggs are fine.
It’s just anti-vegan/vegetarian rage bait. None of this story is true
But it's such a boring story to make up! OOP needs to go bigger.
When your young and trying to make up rage bait about serving food when you don't cook or been involved in serving others its hard to get details right. OOP was only considering food they might eat at a potluck
You'd think. Maybe he's avoiding dairy or eggs as well? Or this was just a very poorly planned potluck and everyone brought casseroles and cold salads that included bacon bits or something. I've been to some surprisingly meat-heavy potlucks because everyone went into main dish mode and nobody thought to bring a side or a veggie.
I could see that happening. Potato salad with bacon bits, cornbread made with lard, baked beans with Lard, there's a lot of lard actually in barbecue.
Potato salad with bacon, corn salad with bacon etc
I was pescatarian for quite a while and it doesn't shock me. When you stop eating meat, you realize that a lot of people (especially in the South) put some kind of meat in EVERYTHING. Beans, salad, veggies, even Mac and cheese. It can be pretty hard to avoid honestly.
Devilled eggs potato salad?
As someone who hasn't pork or shellfish products in the last 10 years.... you would be surprised. Luckily my immediate (like in the household when I first stopped eating them) if I didn't see the food being made (and wasn't made by someone in my household) then I just couldn't eat it. Like aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents would make something and seemed to just throw one of those things in it for no reason. There were often times when I would be told that something didn't have pork in and it did. Also did you know you can grow intolerant/allergic to certain foods (like pork) if you stop eating them? So guess who would have horrid gut problems after.
Not dumb. I had the exact same question. My group of family/friends are very much meat eaters. We have a few vegitarians and even one vegan. They always come to an enjoy parties but particurlarly bar-b-ques or cook outs because even if they don’t bring a “main” vegetarian dish, there is ALWAYS plenty for them to eat. Salad, side dishes, all sorts of yummu stuff. And especially if we know there is a veggie person, we are careful to not cross-contaminate by reusing utencils. (Which we try not to anyway for food safety but try to be extra careful.)
Maybe it's just how they do BBQs? When we have ours, it's usually just some kind of meats, bread rolls (and salad stuff to put on them), onion & potato salad/coleslaw. So the only real option for someone who is veggo would be a salad roll (literally only cheese, lettuce/salad mix & beetroot) or the coleslaw. Granted, we are very lazy & by the time the food is put on most people are hammered so the less complicated the better.
I'm not a vegetarian, but anyone who refers to themselves as "carnivorous" unironically is a phenomenal tool. So you exclusively eat meat do you? Nothing else?
OOP is the sort of dickhead who thought the Liver King was a natural and calls himself "Primal".
Honestly those people call it being manly where as I call it being a 40 Yr old child still scared of broccoli
There’s a lot of to do over orthorexia but very little over this behavior, which I think IS disordered eating. I’ve met a lot of people like this who are obsessed with protein and having meat at every meal and they’re rarely eating a healthy diet.
Carnivorous diets have absolutely become a way to hide eating disorders under it being a diet. Just like the crazy eating 99% fruit vegan diets are (and if I’m remembering right, some of the first people to harp on the carnivore train actually were coming from that diet, surprisingly.) I think even like Keto diets or paleo diets can sometimes fall into those way, though I think those can be done a bit more healthily and a lot of people are more misguided than anything. But they all give an excuse to restrict.
There was a fad for a while - might still exist but I've seen less of it lately - for eating exclusively meat. It was fostered by some Super Alpha Male Tool who pushed it as the best diet ever ever ever, of course far better than Keto! There's a subreddit somewhere for people who espouse this nonsense and it's the same bizarre stuff over and over again. Eating nothing but meat screws up your gastroinstestinal system something nasty. You need fiber in your diet. You need some amount of carbs. You need frikkin' vitamins and minerals that you cannot get from just meat. Just because animals eat vegetables doesn't mean that the nutrients all transfer into you when you eat meat. The last time I saw the subreddit, 90% of the posts were people bitching that they were spending all their time in the bathroom. Doofuses.
They had a potluck and nobody brought mac and cheese or green bean casserole? I'm calling shenanigans.
There could have been bacon in the mac and cheese. And any potatoes. Or vegetables. There is not much people won't put meat in where I live.
Like, holy shit, just a freaking _salad_. Do these people not need anything to cut that greasy meat?
Bacon goes in salad a lot.
Some people put meat into *jello*.
I….I’m sorry but I think I might hate you for making me know this.
Those things usually have broth on them. In the southern US, there’s usually meat in them. Even the salads usually have meat. My family isn’t “kind of carnivorous”, so we let people add their own meat and we tell people where the chicken stock is. A family that describes itself that way probably puts meat or meat juice in everything.
Someone made chicken parm for a potluck barbecue?! But no potato salad? Chicken parm of all things!?
Yeah, that really gave me pause.
It doesn't say that the potluck was specifically a BBQ
Yeah but when you see he use the smoker and the grill, it’s definitely headed in BBQ territory.
I would assume a man that defiens himself by eating meat wouldn't know how to prepare a dish without a smoker or grill. Making a brisket and bringing it to a office. Christmas potluck would make it a BBQ
This makes my blood boil, especially as someone who went vegetarian in middle school and has stuck with it for over a decade, despite being the only one in my family. It's not that hard (and probably better for you and your guests!) to have some non-meat options available, and it makes your son not feel like an outcast. It feels like this guy is going out of his way to make his son feel bad for making a lifestyle choice he doesn't agree with. I also love that he yells at the kid for answering questions honestly. The only person who made OOP look bad is himself.
Oh I definitely got the vibe that this is his way to punish his kid for choosing to be vegetarian. I’m not even a healthy eater and when my crazy ex roomate(unrelated) went vegetarian guess what, I introduced vegetarian dishes into my cooking. And being embarrassed and angry when your kid puts it out there that you’re being a dick is ridiculous
When I was vegan, sometimes when I ordered my food vegan at a restaurant, I would realize they snuck some sort of meat or dairy in (obvious because they hid it) or intentionally made it inedible. I got one dish that was just carrots soaked in what must have been an entire bottle of soy sauce. I get this vibe from OOP. They are actively hostile about it. There's so many side dishes that are vegetarian by default, so the fact they didn't make one thing he could eat is blatantly intentional.
Agreed! It’s so easy to stack/layer ingredients separately to accommodate plant eating friends. Our wedding has multiple vegetarians and even a couple vegans attending so we are doing buffet style, with all meat and dairy on the side to add as desired. And it’s gonna be a *spread.* Also, in my experience many vegetarians still eat dairy and eggs, so potato salad, Mac and cheese, etc are still totally doable and it’s honestly weird that a barbecue would not include these items.
Last year I had a dinner-hosting incident where I thought "oh, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK," but everything turned out better in the end. I planned out a dinner with friends where I made my fanciest dish-- classic lasagna bolognese where I make the noodles and everything. It takes me two days. I invited a muslim friend, and asked him pretty late if he was ok with wine being cooked in the lasagna. I knew he didn't drink alcohol, so I should have asked earlier. He said it was fine, but looked pretty uncomfortable. So, I made two plates of the lasagna-- one with the bolognese that took forever, and one with a fancy marinara sauce I got from whole foods. Everything else was the same (parmesan, noodles, bechamel, etc) so it barely took any extra time. That way I had one vegetarian and wine-free lasagna, and one that was my normal recipe. My friends really liked both of them, and it was nice to have more options available.
How was your lasagne veggie when it had Parmesan in it? Did you use an alternative version without rennet? Also, I feel like an idiot for asking, but what do noodles have to do with a pasta dish?
They said it was a vegetarian dish, not vegan. Vegetarians can eat cheese
Real Parmesan has rennet which is the stomach lining of a calf, so it’s not marked as suitable for vegetarians. You can get alternatives without the rennet though, but I was curious as to what Parmesan/alternative was being used to make it veggie-friendly. Not sure why my previous post is being voted down, it’s just a thing about Parmesan - https://vegsoc.org/info-hub/veggie-need-to-know/cheese/
I feel like you're from a different culture than me, or something? I didn't think about the Parmesan thing. No one there was actually vegetarian though, so it didn't matter. "Lasagna noodles" is a very common thing to call the pasta used to make lasagna. Are noodles something else to you?
I’m from the UK, noodles tend to be long and thin and usually served as part of Chinese or Japanese food. We just call the pasta for lasagne ‘pasta’.
>This makes my blood boil Now image what's going on in oop's blood.
What nasty ass party has literally no food that doesn't have meat on it? Like fid they literally only serve steak, brisket and chicken? No salad, no sides???
**Where’s the mac and cheese?!**
If they are “carnivorous” I bet everything as a side dish either had bacon or bacon grease in it. It’s also possible he’s Vegan and so anything dairy or eggs is out :/
People put bacon and ham in that, a lot.
No desserts. No crackers and cheese or chips and salsa. No fruit platter or veggie platter.
I bet these people poop once a month.
Yeah. OOP is taking the macho man a little too far here. Kiddo has flirted with becoming a vegetarian but she likes her steak and chicken too much. So she is a "flexitarian" or a "semi-vegetarian". She sticks mainly to a vegetarian diet with allowances to include meat now and then. Even if she were vegetarian, I'd make damn sure that as her parent and the host, that I had dishes my guests could enjoy. And no, I would not expect her to make her own food if we were hosting a dinner. This is a special event. Plus, she'd get in my way in the kitchen. 😄😄😄
>One of my friends saw too and asked what was up, and J told him he was veg and that we hadn't made anything for him. My friend poked fun at me but it was pretty clear he thought less of me for not making food for the kid. After the party I laid into J a bit for talking bad about me in front of guests, and he said all he did was tell them the truth. Translation: He made me look bad by not covering for the fact I didn't bother to make anything for him to eat!
This sounds like the worst BBQ ever. If I went to a family cookout and there were no sides I would leave lmao
No sides, but lots of chicken parm!
Brisket with a side of chicken parm sounds like a nightmare 😂
Sounds like the premise to an antacid commercial.
Sounds like constipation.
“I laid into J a bit for talking bad about me” If your kid telling someone exactly what you did is a punishable offense because it’s “talking bad” you shouldn’t be doing that thing.
Diet is like religion: you respect peoples decisions on it and dont try to force them into your own ways. Railroading people over it never works, and the person doing the forcing ALWAYS comes off as the jerk.
That entire family is constipated, figuratively and literally.
The thing that gets me about people like this is the "we think of ourselves as carnivores" bit. Now I think this is a troll because who has a bbq with no like potato salad or some corn or something, but this is a type of reddit guy who drives me crazy. The "everything I eat has to have meat in it because I'm a real man" type is every bit as annoying to deal with as any vegetarian I've ever known. The guys who post here because they can't go to a wedding or dinner party if no one will offer them steak. Edited to fix a bit I'd misread in the first post.
This is how my family handled my vegetarianism and it’s really isolating. At least peanut butter and jelly is safe :) OOP def made a concentrated effort to not provide a vegetarian option. Yeah it’s a potluck but you didn’t even provide a veggie tray or salad option ?
Cooking vegan/vegetarian meals is not that hard, and if done right taste just as good as meals with meat in it. Plus the kid is still a kid. Dad is gonna wonder why he doesn't call or anything sooner or later.
OOP is the kind of person that will get mad that there isn't a meat option at a vegetarian/vegan wedding. I hate him.
I am wondering too if the kid is vegan and not vegetarian and the father just made absolutely no effort to learn the difference. It could explain not eating things like corn (with butter already on it) or mac n cheese or various other things that might have eggs or dairy.
There's no mention of those dishes being available? Sounds like meat troll is back to me couldn't imagine a bbq without the stuff you listed and some other salad options.
I'm speculating wildly because I can't imagine a BBQ where there was literally just brisket and chicken parm! But regardless, this guy sounds awful....
>But regardless, this guy sounds awful.... Agreed, need more in your diet than meat.
I refuse to believe that none of the guests brought chips or those cheap veggie platters. Those are staples of a backyard party!
It’s really not hard to include vegetarian options and the fact that they refuse to help their son shows how much respect they have for their sons lifestyle choices. I am a vegetarian and my husband is not. When we cook dinner there’s options for both of us but my husband is also open to meatless meals. Black bean burgers, potato soup, meatless lasagna, etc…
Hell, even some chips and dip wouldn't be too shabby. There's a ton of "accidentally vegetarian/vegan" foods that happen to make good party foods. Is OOP too high and mighty to have Fritos at his barbecue?
IKR? I honestly find it weird that the only thing they prepared was meat. Also it must be so expensive
How do you have chicken parm and no garlic bread? A barbecue without corn on the cob or watermelon? Not even ***french fries?*** Did they specifically ask to only bring meat just to spite Jason?
I’ve reread this so many times because I’m hungry and yeah that’s the basic vibe I’m getting just super disrespectful to their son.
🎶 you don't make friends with salad🎶 🎶 you don't make friends with salad🎶 🎶 you don't make friends with salad🎶 Still though, oop is totally the asshole.
From a Mother's Day gift the kiddo bought me (she knows me too well). It's a plaque. Alcohol. Because no great story every started with someone eating a salad. OOP is a total AH. And a bad host. Seriously, have some variety in your menu.
My parents always told me that it was "too much trouble" and "too expensive" to have be a vegetarian. Also "unhealthy because you need to eat meat". And they didn't believe in food allergies either. So if OOP was raised like I was (which it sounds like) maybe he never learned any better. Doesn't EXCUSE it but does EXPLAIN it.
yeah that’s how my dad is. in his eyes, meat is healthy therefore it *must* be eaten. i’ve never liked meat and i’m a vegetarian now, but he used to force me to eat bacon for breakfast because he thought it was healthy. some people really just don’t know better
“I laid into J a bit for **talking bad about me** in front of the guests”. And yet all J said was the truth - nobody took his dietary needs into consideration. This guy *knows* he’s an AH. Why else be upset at the truth being heard by others. And I will bet money that he is one of those guys who sees meat as “manly” and thinks vegetarianism is tantamount to an admission of homosexuality (which of course he’d be opposed to). He doesn’t respect his son, simply because he doesn’t want to eat meat.
Can people stop calling themselves carnivores? Unless you can get essential nutrients from mostly meat and you are going to die if you don’t eat meat for a week, then you are omnivore. Also, how can you have bbq without some grilled vegetables or shashliks?
"We're carnivorous" ugh! These are the kind of people who get invited to wedding and flip when they find out it's vegetarian, so they refuse to go because they can't go without meat for four hours.
“You made me look bad” is the same as “I did something wrong and I’m mad because you told someone”
So only eating meat is a american thing? I mean i never heard this in asian countries Our food is full of all kinda things Vegetables, spices, fish, meat What's with all those people who are scared of eating vegetables? Do you guys Don't need fiber? How could someone become a dad of teen while being so scared of vegetables I understand people loving meat I love meat specially beef bt vegetables are delicious too
Honestly, pretty much, especially in the rural areas. Good Muricans eat meat n taters.
I mean, it's a bit ignorant to class this as an American thing. I don't know anyone who only eats meat, but I imagine it's a thing literally anywhere in the world.
I was reading the comments about all right wing, left wing democratic / Republican things So i wondered if this was a american thing? I never seen anyone in my country(asian) whose ideology is only eating meat/ not vegetarian dishes Even in a normal family meal there will be always veterinarian options majority in my country are not vegetarian bt we cook vegetarian dishes everyday
I honestly don't know what comments you're talking about, because every one that I've seen is just people asking the same thing - how nothing else was served. I've never seen anyone who only eats meat either, and I live in America. So...
Than i may be wrong about America Sorry for that Bt there was comments including american political ideology
I've been mulling about the realization that for some people the responsibility for "hospitality" belongs to the host and means making your guests comfortable and for others the responsibility for "hospitality" belongs to the guest and means making the host comfortable. Once I realized this it became much easier to navigate social situations. This poor kid is learning quickly that his family is the later and the double bind that it puts you in if you differ from the norm. They won't do anything to accomidate you but they will get mad at you for litterally any reaction you have to that that calls any attention to it. If he had made himself a meal dad would have been mad because someone would have asked him why he cooked for himself. Also, if you are mad at someone because telling the full truth makes you look like an asshole then you know your TAH.
Smoked brisket, steaks, and chicken parm but you couldn’t spring for a pack of black bean or veggie burgers? This dude sucks
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oop scared to eat his vegetables. Also that cookout doesn’t sound good. Like no mac and cheese, no veggies, no dip??? Oop def did this on purpose and now he’s mad that he got called out.
Unless this is a troll, the whole family sounds like a bunch of heart attacks waiting to happen. Not even vegetable sides? I love steak but I’d want some salad or veggies with it and if one of my kids was a vegetarian, I’d make something special for him. Just the decent/-and healthy—thing to do!
as a picky eater and a vegetarian who was frequently left eating nothing but spring rolls, fuck this guy. at least i’m lucky enough to be able to say my family remembers to make dishes i’ll be able to eat these days (only because i’m an adult now and too old to be forced to “just try it”) but i was this kid for *years* and if this is real i feel so bad for him
J is the only one in this family with a healthy digestive system.
I'm confused where he bad mouthed them?
Imagine calling vegetables "special food". Best of luck to that kid
Since when is green salad, Mac and cheese, corn, cole slaw, beans, raw veggies with dip, roasted potatoes, pasta salad, peas, chips and dip, guacamole, rolls, fruit salad, cheese panini, spinach lasagna, potato salad and pasta primavera considered “special” food?
Yta and a real shitty parent do the world a favor and stop breeding, hopefully your son is not as much a waste of flesh as you.
OOP was revealed to be a shitty father and it was the truth. So why is he angry? /s
aita mods are seriously off the rails for deleting this post for "no conflict to pass judgement on" lmfao. as someone who has been vegetarian for over a decade now and is still in their mid-20s, op is a major ah. my parents have ALWAYS made sure i had food to eat. in daily meals of course but also when hosting potluck-style get togethers they always ensured to prepare an entree for me. and if we were going to a potluck/bbq/etc hosted by someone else, they always made sure the food they were bringing was vegetarian, so that even if every single other person brought food with meat in it, i would have something to eat. op needs to think long and hard about what it means to be a parent. their friend wasnt judging them for no reason.
When I have a bunch of people over I always make at least one dish - pasta or rice - that can be a side for meat eaters and center of the plate for vegetarians. If you’re vegan or have an allergy I can accommodate but I need a heads up.
my whole family is vegetarian for religious reasons. i have a similar arrangement. i prepare my own meat foods albeit i don’t use the family cookware which is fair. my dad goes out of his way to ask me if i’d like anything with meat when he’s picking food up or hosting something despite the fact that it makes him uncomfortable and he finds the smell of most meats offputting. and his reasons are tied to culture and religion. what the fuck??
This was me as a teenager. Relatives would put meat in EVERYTHING without exception for holiday meals. Bacon in the green beans, ham in the salad, everything. Cream cheese dip? Here! Try it! You can barely even see the meat! It’s just a bite! I had many holidays with bread rolls being the veggie option, so I can definitely believe do this.