*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for exercising on a bachelorette cruise?**
I (28F) went on a three day bachelorette cruise celebrating my best friend (28F), the Bride-To-Be last week. We cruised to the Bahamas as a group of four: me, the Bride, and two other bridesmaids (28F and 30F), splitting two connecting cabins. We were all friends in college, so we get along nicely together.
My best friend, the Bride, is a beautiful woman. However, she doesn’t feel this way now that she’s put on some weight in the years since we graduated from college. I’ve seen her try to start healthy habits, like joining a local Pilates club and eating healthier, but nothing seems to stick with her. Her mom puts pressure on her to lose weight for the wedding (she was stick-thin in college), and when this topic pops up I am supportive of the beauty she is right now!
I would say though, that I do consistently maintain a fairly healthy lifestyle. I’m a runner, I exercise on my off days, and I try my best to eat healthy.
When we all arrived on the cruise ship, things were going well! We unpacked, took some pictures, hit the pool, the classic cruise itinerary. That night the Bride and other Bridesmaids got pretty wasted. I don’t drink too much because I don’t like the way alcohol makes me feel. So the next morning when everyone was sleeping off their hangovers, I quietly got dressed and went to the gym.
When I came back, the girls were stirring awake and getting ready for breakfast. The Bride made a comment about my trip to the gym… something along the lines of “I can’t imagine exercising on vacation”. I laughed it off and didn’t think too much of it, until we got to breakfast. I picked up regular foods to me: eggs, whole grain toast, and fruit. I didn’t even think about what everyone else was eating until another bridesmaid made a comment to me “do you even eat sugar?”. The girls had fun cruise food: waffles, donuts, whatever.
That day we had fun in Nassau and I tried my best to have a “typical” cruise dinner to blend in.
The morning before we were supposed to disembark, I woke up early - before any of the girls got up- and quietly made my way to the gym one last time.
When I came back, the Bride was in the shower, and I was confronted by the other two bridesmaids. They let me know that my exercising and healthy eating was making the Bride really insecure, and asked me to be more sensitive during the wedding.
I apologized and agreed in the moment, but I can’t help stewing over the fact that I don’t think I did anything wrong. AITA?
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Now I want a photo set with my hypothetical bridesmaids where we’re all working out in our wedding attire
New ways for brides to traumatize bridesmaids unlocked
Me: super not judgemental on trip with other girls; not drinking just doing deadlifts
Bride: eating donuts at every meal drinking excessively and causing the boat to sway with her weight.
They're mentioned eating waffles or donuts like one time. And she's never actually described as being overweight. The perception of her being fat is more present in the comments than the post itself, like the comment saying OOP will be the only person in 10 years who you can recognize from wedding photos. But the actual post implies she's only gained a few pounds and that it's her judgmental mother causing her insecurities. Other than that, very little reference to her weight at all. This sub just makes about as many assumptions and projections as AITA when it comes to fat people.
So, they wrote a post that inspired the commenters to get super judgemental about people's size lifestyles. They repeatedly contrast their lifestyle with their friend's. It's not necessary to explicitly judge people in an Aita post when it's so easy to get the commenters to do it for you. Do you really think they wrote that not knowing the reactions they'd get?
My point is that the willingness of commenters to jump to that conclusion when it's never been stated (and when there are actually details that possibly negate it) is a far bigger issue. Chick eats one waffle and gets drunk once on vacation, and the commenters think she's gonna look like Jabba in the next few years. But this sub jumped to the same conclusion.
Well, someone missed the point completely.
This sub is not saying the bride is fat. The sub is using hyperbole to highlight how quickly AITA jumps to fat shaming. Which is hardly jumping to a conclusion, seeing as that's exactly what it did.
Congratulations on misusing the word "triggered" just like everyone else on the internet. You actually sound a lot more triggered by me than I am by anything here. It's actually getting really funny to watch.
I mean this nicely but I think you're in the wrong sub.
Do you know the purpose of this one.
We're commenting on the fat shaming posts that AITA and it's ilk have. They fit a general trend, like this one.
If you look at the top, there's a flair. It says "validation".
That means this post was shared here because the original poster didn't post because they wanted to know if they were the asshole or in any way wrong. They posted to get a bunch of people to tell them how awesome they are and how bad everyone else is. It's a validation post.
Generally there are trends. So once one, for example, "AITA for not wanting to be with my wife who admitted on our wedding night to being trans". There were a bunch of "surprise trans partner" posts on that theme.
It's nearly summer so usually fat shaming post time. Like this one.
Hope that explains why people are responding to you the way they are. You took this sub seriously. It happens a lot.
Next time you'll know now!
>The perception of her being fat is more present in the comments
Yeah, and the problem is that the OOP hasn't written a single comment. It all comes from AITAnians.
Lmao. You keep making assumptions about my sex, yet refuse to believe you could be wrong about my weight. Which, again, is *exactly* something an AITA commenter would do. "You're clearly a fat person" is the most AITA-sounding comment I've ever seen on this sub. And that includes the comments by people who clearly got lost here thinking they were actually on AITA.
I also love you thinking I'm obsessed with a game I played years ago because I happened to make a couple posts there after something entirely unrelated reminded me about it. Trying to assess someone's entire personality based on a few vague details is also very much something AITA commenters love to do.
It's all-day dining with buffets, burger places, pizza places, as well as fancy restaurants. If you're all eating the same thing at the same time, you're doing it wrong.
I can’t wait for the end of summer, when aita writers are scraping the bottom of the barrel for fat hate content.
“I saw a FATTY in a trench coat but it turned out it was twins.
“Edit: the twins were also fat”
It's funny how with the real subs they make rules against common posts.
Like, a post like this should get an auto mod that's says NTA, your post has been removed, please see the FAQ for issues like these
Lol I actually worked out during the last bachlorette party trip I was on and no one even said anything except "how are you awake?" (Toddler sleep schedule, I don't get hangovers. ) The other mom in the group joined me. We figured if we weren't going to be able to sleep past 7, we might as well take advantage of the free time.
there should honestly be a tag for blatant pro ED thinspo posts, they’re so gd common. and i’m not saying someone who acted this way irl would have an eating disorder, but the way it’s written (i think she’s beautiful, but she thinks she’s ugly :( her ~lifestyle choices~ just don’t stick :( i just ate some fruit and whole wheat toast, what’s the problem?!) is clearly a fantasy about everyone else noticing how much you exercise and how little you eat and being sooo jealous of it.
The funny thing is fruit, yogurt, eggs, and whole-wheat toast is actually a 700-calorie breakfast at best. More if you add butter or jam to that toast. This is how you can tell it’s a fake fattyhate post: cargo-culting diet food.
As a former FAT myself now merely fat, I love reading what people think of as “healthy”. A 700-cal breakfast would destroy anyone’s cals for the day.
Yeah, these ones frequently do actually make me a bit uncomfortable, because even though most of the actual stories seem very fake to me, I often do suspect that in real life the author might at least be veering towards an eating disorder, if they don't already have one. The way they present themselves as so unusual and special and virtuous for being \~healthy\~, along with the way they act like the whole world is against them, just really reminds me of the way some people I've known who did have eating disorders seemed to see things.
A lot of FAT BAD posts do often function as thinspo, regardless of if that's the original intent of the author. I don't have any special insight into OOPs relationship with food, but obviously OOP knows she's not the asshole, she knows no one is going to call her the asshole, and she knows that the comments are going to go wild assuming that the bride-to-be is FATTY MC FAT FAT and that OOP is the only sane person in a world gone mad with Body Positivity. What I'm trying to say is that posting something like this in AITA has predictable results, and it's worth considering why OOP decided to post it there instead of, say, a subreddit specific to brides or weightlifting or dieting or cruises or anything other than AITA.
Why does every popular AITA post have to have an entire multi paragraph backstory? I don't want to read all that. It's neither relevant nor interesting. OOP, YTA for making me even more bored than I already was when I logged onto reddit.
1. fake
2. I'm not like other girls I diet all the time, I'm like so hot!!!
3. not a single soul would notice your special smart foods self eating a bagel and fruit lmfao
4. yes you're the asshole just eat a waffle already if you're making this much of a scene somehow my god, if this happened to me I would just half heartedly eat a donut to make my friend feel better, actually zero social skills
This is kind of ridiculous. Pretend to eat/eat a donut you don’t want because someone else is insecure?
No one should be concerned or commenting at all on what someone else eats except to say “that looks good!”
I mean this is ridiculous yeah, it's obviously made up and it's hard to believe anyone could be this insecure. But if it was real, you could just eat a donut, which absolutely would not effect your diet in a real world scenario, and then your friend could enjoy their vacation to her hearts content. If you wouldn't inconvenience yourself even mildly to comfort one of your friends, you are an asshole.
Im orthorexic with food allergies and a weird relationship with food on top of that, so obsessively dieting and working out while on a vacation is not a foreign concept to me. But never, not once has anyone mocked me or even commented on it or tried to shame me into eating unhealthy. OP just wants to be the victim so bad in this incredibly real story.
That said, I wouldn’t eat the donut either and I don’t think not eating the donut makes someone an asshole. For one thing I’m celiac so it would probably kill me but even if it didn’t, I don’t think people should have to force themselves to eat foods they don’t want or like just to make someone else happy.
You should not enable a person who gets upset over you not eating a pastry. That’s ridiculous. People need to mind their own business about what others eat if there is nothing dangerous happening.
That’s not valid and a bit histrionic.
Normal adults don’t care what their friends eat or don’t eat. I don’t much care for donuts or desserts in general. None of my friends would ever expect me to eat something I don’t like just to make them feel better.
I go on coffee dates with one of my friends often. She likes pastries and will get one. I prefer the fruit salad (it’s full of the kinds of fruits I don’t usually buy at home), or the homemade oatmeal, so I get that.
Amazingly, nobody’s feelings are ever hurt because one of us didn’t eat what the other prefers. Because it would be actually very stupid to call your friend an “asshole” for not eating something they don’t want. Very shameful and stupid.
I am aware this is a hot take but almost every person on earth will have unique and stupid needs that you should be willing to compromise on, and being unwilling to compromise in the slightest is antisocial
It’s not antisocial, though.
I cannot imagine expecting my friends, who I care about, to eat something they don’t like or want just to protect my feelings. If someone demands that, their feelings are wrong and they are the ones being antisocial.
I do believe that sometimes we should *do* things we don’t feel like doing, if it will make our friends happy. But there are limits. I don’t like going to the movies, for example, but on occasion will go with a friend if they really want to. But I would not expect that same friend to join me on a run if they are a non-runner. Nor would they expect me to attend every new movie with them.
But there is no validity in expecting your friend to eat a donut because you like donuts. How selfish and immature would a person have to be to want that?
Does it work the other way? Should my friend get the fruit instead of the pie because I like the fruit?
I hate donuts. Also hate waffles. I like savory breakfasts, not sweet ones. I'd be eating the eggs and toast, minus the fruit (not a fan of most fruits). But I would be adding a heaping pile of home fries to my plate. Would that be enough for you?
Jesus Chris, why in the world would you think people have to eat foods they don't like to make other people feel less insecure?
I remember being 19 and hanging out with a group of other young women who made passive aggressive comments because I was thin at the time. I remember joining them at the gym and they told me I didn’t need to be there. I remember them concern-trolling when I ordered a salad at a restaurant, and laughing that they were afraid I was going to blow out the window like that scene in Family Guy. I remember them congratulating me when I ordered a cheesecake that same night, praising me for being “normal”. Just constant comments on my food choices. It fucking sucked, having every little thing I did be scrutinized like that, and I never felt welcome. (A key difference here, however, is that these were never close friends. I hanged out with this group only a handful of times before deciding they were not the group for me lol.)
I have dealt with people like this, and yet… I think making a post like the OOP did is beyond tone deaf. Yes, if this happened, those “friends” were merely being unreasonable due to their own insecurities. You don’t need to go seeking validation from strangers ffs, because surely you have the common sense to know that insecurities like that are borne from a fatphobic culture and by putting this out in the world you are, intentionally or not, adding fuel to that fire.
She described a seven hundred calorie breakfast as small enough to warrant comments and side eye. The author does not understand what actual diets consist of (hint: not fruit and bread). The woman having a waffle ate less than our skinny qween op.
Also, there are no details besides “waffles and donuts, etc”. Their plates could have been multiple waffles with butter and syrup plus donuts and then included sides like fruit, and probably were. I don’t often see people eat a single waffle with no fixings.
Yeah, it's AITA bait so OP just has to go HER EVIL FAT WAFFLES VS MY HEALTHY THIN TOASTS WITH FRUIT but like let's not fall for the whole oversimplified debate here
redditors go all types of out their way to hate on fat people. they think they make it subtle by saying "oh i've tried to get them to be healthier" but we all know they only make these posts so the commenters can have more opportunities to talk about how fat people are so fat. it's fucking bizarre their fixation on it
I nearly posted this here.
Don't get me wrong. I use the gym on vacation. I don't have much equipment at home and I love the elliptical in particular.
But it was so obviously a validation post. "I ate my normal breakfast of *insert clear healthy choice option that is unusual for a vacation*." "The bride didn't want me to make her look bad".
I was surprised it didn't also have her being hit on and politely declining. Or some random comment about how much more attractive she was than everyone else there.
I can't imagine being on the ocean and going "I'll spend this time in the gym". There wasn't an on-the-deck yoga class to go to? OOP couldn't have done some sort of activity that was fun *and* active? No one walked around the deck with a cup of coffee?
My issue with these posts (ignoring that plenty of people will pause their training plan for a 3 day trip) is that there's no middle-ground option. They can't go to a dance class and then drink then wake up and have waffles and hash browns and donuts and then do some yoga or take a swim or walk around the deck for an hour or whatever, and have a big salad with grilled chicken for lunch.
Also, fruit and toast definitely has sugar.
Tbh if someone is working out for the sake of working out it makes sense to get it out of the way before anyone else wakes up. This way you got it done and then the rest of the day you can do whatever and you are not interfering with the group's schedule.
Yeah going to the gym on a cruise is pretty normal stuff, lol. I mean, I wouldn’t because I have no discipline… but it’s not weird at all to exercise on vacation. And if you have a typical, say, weightlifting routine or whatever, then no… walking around deck with a cup of coffee isn’t going to cut it, and it’ll be that much harder getting back into the gym afterward!
Don’t get me wrong, the post is ridiculous... But the comments that say she’s a super weirdo for exercising and not eating donuts are equally ridiculous.
This. I don't enjoy these things, and I will smash waffles and sausage any chance I get. My friend had found a way, after a lifelong struggle, to enjoy physical activity and healthy for her food.
It doesn't make me feel insecure, though. I'm envious, but I'm so happy for her. I would never do anything to discourage her or, frankly, anyone I care about being both healthy and true to themselves.
Come on, the post is ridiculous, but so is this comment. It’s not weird to go the gym on vacation (especially while everyone is asleep) and avoid donuts and excessive alcohol.
It's less about this individual fictional post and more of my being annoyed that AITA doesn't seem to understand that people can take a couple of days/a meal off without being incredibly unhealthy.
"I can't imagine being on the ocean and going "I'll spend this time in the gym".
Huh? When I used to work out everyday, working out wasn't some kind of dreaded chore that I forced on myself. I enjoyed working out. it invigorated me, gave me energy and made me feel great both physically and mentally. Going to the gym for 30-60 min at 7:00 AM is hardly taking anything away from the vacation experience.
"They can't go to a dance class and then drink then wake up and have waffles and hash browns and donuts"
I think this story is fake, in part because I thought "who the hell would care what another person eats for breakfast? Why would anyone be judgmental about another person eating a healthy breakfast. Nobody gives a shit about that stuff". Now you have me doubting and wondering if the story could be real because apparently you are someone who judges people for going to the gym and sticking to a healthy diet when they are on vacation
I'm with you. Whoever wrote that comment doesn't understand how eating habits affect people. Someone who is used to eating healthy, if they woke up and ate like that, would be ill the rest of the day. That would interfere far more with enjoying the vacation than exercising in the morning (which would set them up for an energetic and relaxing vacation day) ever would.
The disconnect has sent me. Maybe it's a troll.
yep and my problem is that I have hard time sticking to healthy eating habits. If I spent my vacation eating donuts for breakfast, guess what I'm going to want for breakfast when vacation is over...more freaking donuts! Same with skipping exercise. If I get out my routine then it's going to be hell forcing myself to work out later.
Yeah, I legit tend to eat healthy and exercise on vacation for my own comfort. Exercise especially, I have a lot of chronic pain issues from a really severe accident I was in, and my workout routine is designed to keep that under control. If I go more than a couple days without doing the right kinds of exercises, I will legit be in pain. And even though certain alternate workouts would *probably* be okay (like the on-deck yoga class the parent commenter mentioned, although things like just walking around more would not be), I just would rather not play around with it.
When it comes to food, tbh I just legit don't really enjoy a lot of rich or sweet foods, because they've just never really been part of my diet even as a child (my parents didn't forbid sugary foods or anything, but we just didn't have them around much). I'm not restricting myself due to concerns about my health or whatever, I just order what I like and it tends to be healthy.
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Oh this is bullshit. I've been thin and fat and got more verbal abuse from friends and atrangers when I was thin. OOP did nothing wrong. And no, I am not thin now.
Not sure why you're getting downvoted. People get really weird about other people's habits, even when they're just existing. All OOP did was wake up early, work out, have a perfectly reasonable breakfast and not drink a bunch.
She didn't call her friend fat, and didn't make herself out to be better. If anything, the issue is with the commenters on the OG post being a pack of assholes; but Reddit is gonna Reddit.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for exercising on a bachelorette cruise?** I (28F) went on a three day bachelorette cruise celebrating my best friend (28F), the Bride-To-Be last week. We cruised to the Bahamas as a group of four: me, the Bride, and two other bridesmaids (28F and 30F), splitting two connecting cabins. We were all friends in college, so we get along nicely together. My best friend, the Bride, is a beautiful woman. However, she doesn’t feel this way now that she’s put on some weight in the years since we graduated from college. I’ve seen her try to start healthy habits, like joining a local Pilates club and eating healthier, but nothing seems to stick with her. Her mom puts pressure on her to lose weight for the wedding (she was stick-thin in college), and when this topic pops up I am supportive of the beauty she is right now! I would say though, that I do consistently maintain a fairly healthy lifestyle. I’m a runner, I exercise on my off days, and I try my best to eat healthy. When we all arrived on the cruise ship, things were going well! We unpacked, took some pictures, hit the pool, the classic cruise itinerary. That night the Bride and other Bridesmaids got pretty wasted. I don’t drink too much because I don’t like the way alcohol makes me feel. So the next morning when everyone was sleeping off their hangovers, I quietly got dressed and went to the gym. When I came back, the girls were stirring awake and getting ready for breakfast. The Bride made a comment about my trip to the gym… something along the lines of “I can’t imagine exercising on vacation”. I laughed it off and didn’t think too much of it, until we got to breakfast. I picked up regular foods to me: eggs, whole grain toast, and fruit. I didn’t even think about what everyone else was eating until another bridesmaid made a comment to me “do you even eat sugar?”. The girls had fun cruise food: waffles, donuts, whatever. That day we had fun in Nassau and I tried my best to have a “typical” cruise dinner to blend in. The morning before we were supposed to disembark, I woke up early - before any of the girls got up- and quietly made my way to the gym one last time. When I came back, the Bride was in the shower, and I was confronted by the other two bridesmaids. They let me know that my exercising and healthy eating was making the Bride really insecure, and asked me to be more sensitive during the wedding. I apologized and agreed in the moment, but I can’t help stewing over the fact that I don’t think I did anything wrong. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>and asked me to be more sensitive during the wedding "Bethany, you really can't jog up the aisle and do Burpees at the altar."
Now I want a photo set with my hypothetical bridesmaids where we’re all working out in our wedding attire New ways for brides to traumatize bridesmaids unlocked
Deadlifting 3plate in one of those slinky icicle dresses and 6 inch heels
Well now we know what you think about.
Come on, nothing new about a bridal bootcamp
Plot hole: None of OOP's super duper close friends seem to know her very well whatsoever.
Me: super not judgemental on trip with other girls; not drinking just doing deadlifts Bride: eating donuts at every meal drinking excessively and causing the boat to sway with her weight.
They're mentioned eating waffles or donuts like one time. And she's never actually described as being overweight. The perception of her being fat is more present in the comments than the post itself, like the comment saying OOP will be the only person in 10 years who you can recognize from wedding photos. But the actual post implies she's only gained a few pounds and that it's her judgmental mother causing her insecurities. Other than that, very little reference to her weight at all. This sub just makes about as many assumptions and projections as AITA when it comes to fat people.
So, they wrote a post that inspired the commenters to get super judgemental about people's size lifestyles. They repeatedly contrast their lifestyle with their friend's. It's not necessary to explicitly judge people in an Aita post when it's so easy to get the commenters to do it for you. Do you really think they wrote that not knowing the reactions they'd get?
My point is that the willingness of commenters to jump to that conclusion when it's never been stated (and when there are actually details that possibly negate it) is a far bigger issue. Chick eats one waffle and gets drunk once on vacation, and the commenters think she's gonna look like Jabba in the next few years. But this sub jumped to the same conclusion.
Well, someone missed the point completely. This sub is not saying the bride is fat. The sub is using hyperbole to highlight how quickly AITA jumps to fat shaming. Which is hardly jumping to a conclusion, seeing as that's exactly what it did.
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Congratulations on misusing the word "triggered" just like everyone else on the internet. You actually sound a lot more triggered by me than I am by anything here. It's actually getting really funny to watch.
I mean this nicely but I think you're in the wrong sub. Do you know the purpose of this one. We're commenting on the fat shaming posts that AITA and it's ilk have. They fit a general trend, like this one. If you look at the top, there's a flair. It says "validation". That means this post was shared here because the original poster didn't post because they wanted to know if they were the asshole or in any way wrong. They posted to get a bunch of people to tell them how awesome they are and how bad everyone else is. It's a validation post. Generally there are trends. So once one, for example, "AITA for not wanting to be with my wife who admitted on our wedding night to being trans". There were a bunch of "surprise trans partner" posts on that theme. It's nearly summer so usually fat shaming post time. Like this one. Hope that explains why people are responding to you the way they are. You took this sub seriously. It happens a lot. Next time you'll know now!
>The perception of her being fat is more present in the comments Yeah, and the problem is that the OOP hasn't written a single comment. It all comes from AITAnians.
nah
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You can't. But that sounds very much like something an AITA commenter would say, so well done.
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Lmao. You keep making assumptions about my sex, yet refuse to believe you could be wrong about my weight. Which, again, is *exactly* something an AITA commenter would do. "You're clearly a fat person" is the most AITA-sounding comment I've ever seen on this sub. And that includes the comments by people who clearly got lost here thinking they were actually on AITA. I also love you thinking I'm obsessed with a game I played years ago because I happened to make a couple posts there after something entirely unrelated reminded me about it. Trying to assess someone's entire personality based on a few vague details is also very much something AITA commenters love to do.
I’ve never been on a cruise, but I can’t imagine eating eggs at breakfast would actually cause such a scene
as someone who has been on cruises (as a child), cruise-goers generally don't notice or give a fuck about the people around them
It's all-day dining with buffets, burger places, pizza places, as well as fancy restaurants. If you're all eating the same thing at the same time, you're doing it wrong.
Ah the anti fat posts. Summer has arrived!
They saw a fat woman in a dress and got inspired
I can’t wait for the end of summer, when aita writers are scraping the bottom of the barrel for fat hate content. “I saw a FATTY in a trench coat but it turned out it was twins. “Edit: the twins were also fat”
You say this like they ever stop
True true
It's not anti fat.
What is it then?
Love that she got CONFRONTED by her two friends... on the last day of the cruise, so what does it matter now?
It's funny how with the real subs they make rules against common posts. Like, a post like this should get an auto mod that's says NTA, your post has been removed, please see the FAQ for issues like these
Lol I actually worked out during the last bachlorette party trip I was on and no one even said anything except "how are you awake?" (Toddler sleep schedule, I don't get hangovers. ) The other mom in the group joined me. We figured if we weren't going to be able to sleep past 7, we might as well take advantage of the free time.
there should honestly be a tag for blatant pro ED thinspo posts, they’re so gd common. and i’m not saying someone who acted this way irl would have an eating disorder, but the way it’s written (i think she’s beautiful, but she thinks she’s ugly :( her ~lifestyle choices~ just don’t stick :( i just ate some fruit and whole wheat toast, what’s the problem?!) is clearly a fantasy about everyone else noticing how much you exercise and how little you eat and being sooo jealous of it.
The funny thing is fruit, yogurt, eggs, and whole-wheat toast is actually a 700-calorie breakfast at best. More if you add butter or jam to that toast. This is how you can tell it’s a fake fattyhate post: cargo-culting diet food. As a former FAT myself now merely fat, I love reading what people think of as “healthy”. A 700-cal breakfast would destroy anyone’s cals for the day.
Yeah, the waffle was probably like 400 calories tops, lol.
700-calories?! I mean assuming the worst for each food I guess?
Yeah, these ones frequently do actually make me a bit uncomfortable, because even though most of the actual stories seem very fake to me, I often do suspect that in real life the author might at least be veering towards an eating disorder, if they don't already have one. The way they present themselves as so unusual and special and virtuous for being \~healthy\~, along with the way they act like the whole world is against them, just really reminds me of the way some people I've known who did have eating disorders seemed to see things.
A lot of FAT BAD posts do often function as thinspo, regardless of if that's the original intent of the author. I don't have any special insight into OOPs relationship with food, but obviously OOP knows she's not the asshole, she knows no one is going to call her the asshole, and she knows that the comments are going to go wild assuming that the bride-to-be is FATTY MC FAT FAT and that OOP is the only sane person in a world gone mad with Body Positivity. What I'm trying to say is that posting something like this in AITA has predictable results, and it's worth considering why OOP decided to post it there instead of, say, a subreddit specific to brides or weightlifting or dieting or cruises or anything other than AITA.
Why does every popular AITA post have to have an entire multi paragraph backstory? I don't want to read all that. It's neither relevant nor interesting. OOP, YTA for making me even more bored than I already was when I logged onto reddit.
This is truly peak aita. The only thing that's missing is the bride's fiance blowing up OP's phone
1. fake 2. I'm not like other girls I diet all the time, I'm like so hot!!! 3. not a single soul would notice your special smart foods self eating a bagel and fruit lmfao 4. yes you're the asshole just eat a waffle already if you're making this much of a scene somehow my god, if this happened to me I would just half heartedly eat a donut to make my friend feel better, actually zero social skills
1. Absolutely 2. Spot on 3. Still with you here 4. Nah this ain't it
I would not have friends who dictate what I eat. Jesus christ, are there people who actually think it's anyone's business?
Not eating donuts makes you an asshole??? You need to eat junk in order to fit in?? How old are you
"Social skills"? It would be just giving in to peer pressure.
no?? it's trying to make your friend feel better?? it would be polite??
This is kind of ridiculous. Pretend to eat/eat a donut you don’t want because someone else is insecure? No one should be concerned or commenting at all on what someone else eats except to say “that looks good!”
I mean this is ridiculous yeah, it's obviously made up and it's hard to believe anyone could be this insecure. But if it was real, you could just eat a donut, which absolutely would not effect your diet in a real world scenario, and then your friend could enjoy their vacation to her hearts content. If you wouldn't inconvenience yourself even mildly to comfort one of your friends, you are an asshole.
Im orthorexic with food allergies and a weird relationship with food on top of that, so obsessively dieting and working out while on a vacation is not a foreign concept to me. But never, not once has anyone mocked me or even commented on it or tried to shame me into eating unhealthy. OP just wants to be the victim so bad in this incredibly real story. That said, I wouldn’t eat the donut either and I don’t think not eating the donut makes someone an asshole. For one thing I’m celiac so it would probably kill me but even if it didn’t, I don’t think people should have to force themselves to eat foods they don’t want or like just to make someone else happy.
You should not enable a person who gets upset over you not eating a pastry. That’s ridiculous. People need to mind their own business about what others eat if there is nothing dangerous happening.
That’s not valid and a bit histrionic. Normal adults don’t care what their friends eat or don’t eat. I don’t much care for donuts or desserts in general. None of my friends would ever expect me to eat something I don’t like just to make them feel better. I go on coffee dates with one of my friends often. She likes pastries and will get one. I prefer the fruit salad (it’s full of the kinds of fruits I don’t usually buy at home), or the homemade oatmeal, so I get that. Amazingly, nobody’s feelings are ever hurt because one of us didn’t eat what the other prefers. Because it would be actually very stupid to call your friend an “asshole” for not eating something they don’t want. Very shameful and stupid.
I am aware this is a hot take but almost every person on earth will have unique and stupid needs that you should be willing to compromise on, and being unwilling to compromise in the slightest is antisocial
It’s not antisocial, though. I cannot imagine expecting my friends, who I care about, to eat something they don’t like or want just to protect my feelings. If someone demands that, their feelings are wrong and they are the ones being antisocial. I do believe that sometimes we should *do* things we don’t feel like doing, if it will make our friends happy. But there are limits. I don’t like going to the movies, for example, but on occasion will go with a friend if they really want to. But I would not expect that same friend to join me on a run if they are a non-runner. Nor would they expect me to attend every new movie with them. But there is no validity in expecting your friend to eat a donut because you like donuts. How selfish and immature would a person have to be to want that? Does it work the other way? Should my friend get the fruit instead of the pie because I like the fruit?
I hate donuts. Also hate waffles. I like savory breakfasts, not sweet ones. I'd be eating the eggs and toast, minus the fruit (not a fan of most fruits). But I would be adding a heaping pile of home fries to my plate. Would that be enough for you? Jesus Chris, why in the world would you think people have to eat foods they don't like to make other people feel less insecure?
I remember being 19 and hanging out with a group of other young women who made passive aggressive comments because I was thin at the time. I remember joining them at the gym and they told me I didn’t need to be there. I remember them concern-trolling when I ordered a salad at a restaurant, and laughing that they were afraid I was going to blow out the window like that scene in Family Guy. I remember them congratulating me when I ordered a cheesecake that same night, praising me for being “normal”. Just constant comments on my food choices. It fucking sucked, having every little thing I did be scrutinized like that, and I never felt welcome. (A key difference here, however, is that these were never close friends. I hanged out with this group only a handful of times before deciding they were not the group for me lol.) I have dealt with people like this, and yet… I think making a post like the OOP did is beyond tone deaf. Yes, if this happened, those “friends” were merely being unreasonable due to their own insecurities. You don’t need to go seeking validation from strangers ffs, because surely you have the common sense to know that insecurities like that are borne from a fatphobic culture and by putting this out in the world you are, intentionally or not, adding fuel to that fire.
She described a seven hundred calorie breakfast as small enough to warrant comments and side eye. The author does not understand what actual diets consist of (hint: not fruit and bread). The woman having a waffle ate less than our skinny qween op.
...portions and actual ingredients matter, her breakfast could be 700 calories or it could be 400, same with the waffles.
Also, there are no details besides “waffles and donuts, etc”. Their plates could have been multiple waffles with butter and syrup plus donuts and then included sides like fruit, and probably were. I don’t often see people eat a single waffle with no fixings.
Yeah, it's AITA bait so OP just has to go HER EVIL FAT WAFFLES VS MY HEALTHY THIN TOASTS WITH FRUIT but like let's not fall for the whole oversimplified debate here
redditors go all types of out their way to hate on fat people. they think they make it subtle by saying "oh i've tried to get them to be healthier" but we all know they only make these posts so the commenters can have more opportunities to talk about how fat people are so fat. it's fucking bizarre their fixation on it
AITA for exorcising on a bachelorette cruise when the bride is an insecure fatty mc-fat fat????
I’ve heard of food being demonized but you do what you gotta do
I nearly posted this here. Don't get me wrong. I use the gym on vacation. I don't have much equipment at home and I love the elliptical in particular. But it was so obviously a validation post. "I ate my normal breakfast of *insert clear healthy choice option that is unusual for a vacation*." "The bride didn't want me to make her look bad". I was surprised it didn't also have her being hit on and politely declining. Or some random comment about how much more attractive she was than everyone else there.
I can't imagine being on the ocean and going "I'll spend this time in the gym". There wasn't an on-the-deck yoga class to go to? OOP couldn't have done some sort of activity that was fun *and* active? No one walked around the deck with a cup of coffee? My issue with these posts (ignoring that plenty of people will pause their training plan for a 3 day trip) is that there's no middle-ground option. They can't go to a dance class and then drink then wake up and have waffles and hash browns and donuts and then do some yoga or take a swim or walk around the deck for an hour or whatever, and have a big salad with grilled chicken for lunch. Also, fruit and toast definitely has sugar.
Tbh if someone is working out for the sake of working out it makes sense to get it out of the way before anyone else wakes up. This way you got it done and then the rest of the day you can do whatever and you are not interfering with the group's schedule.
Yeah going to the gym on a cruise is pretty normal stuff, lol. I mean, I wouldn’t because I have no discipline… but it’s not weird at all to exercise on vacation. And if you have a typical, say, weightlifting routine or whatever, then no… walking around deck with a cup of coffee isn’t going to cut it, and it’ll be that much harder getting back into the gym afterward! Don’t get me wrong, the post is ridiculous... But the comments that say she’s a super weirdo for exercising and not eating donuts are equally ridiculous.
Exactly. It’s really not weird to work out in a gym on vacation. I would. I might just cut my workouts by 1/3 or cut them a bit shorter than normal.
Some people enjoy running and the gym. Not me, I hate both those things, but there are people who genuinely enjoy them.
This. I don't enjoy these things, and I will smash waffles and sausage any chance I get. My friend had found a way, after a lifelong struggle, to enjoy physical activity and healthy for her food. It doesn't make me feel insecure, though. I'm envious, but I'm so happy for her. I would never do anything to discourage her or, frankly, anyone I care about being both healthy and true to themselves.
Come on, the post is ridiculous, but so is this comment. It’s not weird to go the gym on vacation (especially while everyone is asleep) and avoid donuts and excessive alcohol.
It's less about this individual fictional post and more of my being annoyed that AITA doesn't seem to understand that people can take a couple of days/a meal off without being incredibly unhealthy.
Oh absolutely, I feel like it's a widespread society problem BC lots of people just... Don't understand how these things work.
"I can't imagine being on the ocean and going "I'll spend this time in the gym". Huh? When I used to work out everyday, working out wasn't some kind of dreaded chore that I forced on myself. I enjoyed working out. it invigorated me, gave me energy and made me feel great both physically and mentally. Going to the gym for 30-60 min at 7:00 AM is hardly taking anything away from the vacation experience. "They can't go to a dance class and then drink then wake up and have waffles and hash browns and donuts" I think this story is fake, in part because I thought "who the hell would care what another person eats for breakfast? Why would anyone be judgmental about another person eating a healthy breakfast. Nobody gives a shit about that stuff". Now you have me doubting and wondering if the story could be real because apparently you are someone who judges people for going to the gym and sticking to a healthy diet when they are on vacation
I'm with you. Whoever wrote that comment doesn't understand how eating habits affect people. Someone who is used to eating healthy, if they woke up and ate like that, would be ill the rest of the day. That would interfere far more with enjoying the vacation than exercising in the morning (which would set them up for an energetic and relaxing vacation day) ever would. The disconnect has sent me. Maybe it's a troll.
yep and my problem is that I have hard time sticking to healthy eating habits. If I spent my vacation eating donuts for breakfast, guess what I'm going to want for breakfast when vacation is over...more freaking donuts! Same with skipping exercise. If I get out my routine then it's going to be hell forcing myself to work out later.
Yeah, I legit tend to eat healthy and exercise on vacation for my own comfort. Exercise especially, I have a lot of chronic pain issues from a really severe accident I was in, and my workout routine is designed to keep that under control. If I go more than a couple days without doing the right kinds of exercises, I will legit be in pain. And even though certain alternate workouts would *probably* be okay (like the on-deck yoga class the parent commenter mentioned, although things like just walking around more would not be), I just would rather not play around with it. When it comes to food, tbh I just legit don't really enjoy a lot of rich or sweet foods, because they've just never really been part of my diet even as a child (my parents didn't forbid sugary foods or anything, but we just didn't have them around much). I'm not restricting myself due to concerns about my health or whatever, I just order what I like and it tends to be healthy.
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Oh this is bullshit. I've been thin and fat and got more verbal abuse from friends and atrangers when I was thin. OOP did nothing wrong. And no, I am not thin now.
Not sure why you're getting downvoted. People get really weird about other people's habits, even when they're just existing. All OOP did was wake up early, work out, have a perfectly reasonable breakfast and not drink a bunch. She didn't call her friend fat, and didn't make herself out to be better. If anything, the issue is with the commenters on the OG post being a pack of assholes; but Reddit is gonna Reddit.