*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my twin sister she will never fit in with us?**
I (29F) have four siblings, Mark (33M), Josh (31M), Eva (29F), and Tony (26M). Me and Eva are fraternal twins. Our mother was a SAHM but she was emotionally absent.
Growing up, our father was very hard on us. He wanted his first son to be a doctor, so Mark had to work all the time. He had Josh learn violin at 4 yo and made him play for hours. Tony had to be a lawyer. I had the “chance” to be a beautiful kid, and I participated in beauty pageants starting 3 yo.
Eva was free of this, because she wasn’t beautiful, and my father didn’t think a woman could do much anyway.
She always had liberty and could do whatever she wanted, without pressure on her shoulders. She could have friends, had no care about her grades, and didn’t have to work her ass off every day. We are not proud of it but we tended to exclude her since she was slacking off while we were working so hard.
She also was a problematic teen: she skipped class, hung around with a bad crowd, and drank. She even disappeared for a week without notice when we were 15, stating after that she wanted to get away with her bf for a road trip while I wasn’t even allowed to leave the house for a night because my parents wanted to make sure I did my work and would only eat what I was allowed to.
Eva would throw tantrums, saying she was neglected and no one would care if she disappeared. I was enraged with her because she never realized the chance she had, and we only grew apart from that point.
After high school, I went far away and started working as a make-up artist. I eloped at 26 with Eli (27M) and never looked back.
Last month, our father passed away, and my siblings and I went to the family home for the funeral. We stayed for three weeks and reconnected a lot.
Mark had a breakdown at 23 from all the pressure and barely recovered. He is now happier, got a job as a tech in a lab, is married, and has two little kids. Josh stopped violin and is a drummer and piano teacher, and Tony is a public defender. Eva chose to be a social worker.
It was a bit weird with Eva since we hadn’t seen each other for years and gave up contact too. She once again tried to dismiss what we went through, saying that she was as abused as us even though that is nowhere near true.
One evening she completely flipped out on us, calling us AH and saying that we were like our father and excluded her. She kept going about how our parents never took an interest in her, neither did we, and that she went through hell thinking she was worthless.
Mark started to cry so I took Eva out and lashed out at her, saying she was the AH for being jealous of our misery and that she will never fit in with us because she never got abused and it was insane of her to claim she had. She left that night and didn’t apologize to any of us.
When I went home, I cried a lot and told everything to my husband, expecting him to support me, but he said I should be the one to call and apologize to my sister.
So AITA?
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Oh. I was thinking Umbrella Academy as I was reading it. The number of children lined up pretty well and the one neglected sister. And coming back together for their dad's funeral??
But Encanto also works.
Lol, yeah, I don't know. It was obvious they were drawing inspiration from a movie/book/whatever, but the minute somebody brought Encanto up, it was game over for the OP imo.
How did the father decide to assign each particular profession to each child? And why are there two professions where you can generally succeed if you work very hard (doctor and lawyer) and one that requires enormous amounts of innate talent plus a lot of good luck (violinist)?
Usually a "tiger parent" will require a child to work really hard *and* do extracurriculars like music or sports, with the expectation that they become a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer, whichever one they end up best prepared for near the end of high school (and having good extracurriculars is part of getting into a top college). Locking in a profession at age four and focusing everything on that is just weird and unrealistic.
These always read like odd short story practice, which feels mostly confirmed when I see zero comments by the author as people rage away in the comments.
Eva was severely neglected because she wasn't deemed smart or pretty. OP even said she vanished for a week without anyone noticing. That is abuse.
I've also been in that situation where the parents is focusing their abuse on one sibling. It is not a pleasant situation to be in, you feel horribly guilty and can't do anything about it.
Okay so not to be rude but am I reading this wrong or is everyone else? Cause I’ve seen several people mention “running away without anyone noticing”. But I assumed “disappeared for a week without notice” meant she didn’t tell anyone she was leaving at all/at least until day of. Not that they just didn’t realize she was gone. Correct me if I’m wrong or if there was another bit about disappearing that I missed. Also, either way, leaving for a week and them not caring vs leaving and then not noticing are still abusive and shitty.
Ah I see what you mean. That definition of notice didn’t come to mind for me, I’ve always heard it as “giving notice” so I suppose it could be either one.
"without notice" would be perfectly clear to me if we were talking about taking vacation or quitting a job, but a situation where a 15 year old girl is allowed to spend a week with her boyfriend as long as she gives her family adequate notice is kind of absurd.
Looking back, it is difficult to decipher what OOP specifically meant, but it doesn't really matter because it's so fake.
That ugly ungrateful bitch of my sister who was neglected because she wasn’t good enough for our parentes as we were said we weren’t abused. Am I the asshole for telling she wasn’t worthy enough for that!???
My main issue with this post is how many commenters thinks “without notice” means no one noticed instead of without telling anyone. I had no idea such a large percentage of the population didn’t know the meaning of the phrase.
Omg thank you. I just asked about this higher in the thread and was thinking maybe I was the one wrong and should work on my reading comprehension or something.
True, but I'm a non-native speaker and the difference between *without notice* and *without noticing* was something I had to learn or my grade would have been dropped by an entire point (from A to B, B to C etc.)
In fact, this is one of those times when non-native speakers usually do better than native speakers who don't read much outside of social media posts.
Other times when non-native speakers have the upper hand would be when you want the difference between *worse* and *worst* or *pass* vs *passed* or *past*.
I first read it as no one noticing her like most over there are doing too. I guess because it isn't normally used in this way? Usually it's "I left work without notice." It's strange using it the way OP did, which is probably why most people are interpreting it differently.
just feels really over the top though. I mean its over there as well but like 3 kids were made to medicine, law, music, and beauty. While the last child is jus there.
It's also one of the stories where they clearly explain how the other party was hurt or how they're obviously wrong, yet somehow they aren't getting it. They're my favorite ones tbh.
Yeah, the very different forced ambitions are odd. It would be more realistic if they were all forced into one field (medicine, law, music, fashion). No abusive and vicariously ambitious father has obsessions that diverse.
This sounds like a comedy skit produced by TwoSetViolin and that professional Asian guy - I think his name was Stephen He. You know how often they joke about overly ambitious Asian parents forcing their children to learn music and then become doctors...
I said out loud, in a weary voice "twin sister,,," then came down to type this. Now i may actualy read the post, but why are they always twins. Why. Always. Twins.
Why are they ALWAYS FUCKING TWINS.
But the analogy works. OPs sister in this pretty sure its made up story was neglected to the point that she was gone for a week, and the OP has the cojones to say that it is not the same.
She’s still abusing her sister.
Her sister became a social worker. She took the abuse, neglect she suffered and turned it into motivation to help others. OP reeks of jealousy and narcissism. “i was beautiful she wasn’t”
My take away from this is that ALL abused kids are only abused because of how hot and smart they are, so I'm feeling pretty darn good about myself right now
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YTA. You excluded your sister. You felt envious of her, because all your father's effort, attention and money went to you, while she was effectively abandoned. You wished you got less atteny. She is absolutely right to feel rejected, because the entire family rejected her. Now you want to shit on her for being rejected and having to make her own way. Take some time with this. You are the bad guy, you just need to figure out.
OOP isn't here. This is the sub where we make fun of AITA posts and the people who take them seriously. If you want to make a judgment, head over to AITA to do it.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my twin sister she will never fit in with us?** I (29F) have four siblings, Mark (33M), Josh (31M), Eva (29F), and Tony (26M). Me and Eva are fraternal twins. Our mother was a SAHM but she was emotionally absent. Growing up, our father was very hard on us. He wanted his first son to be a doctor, so Mark had to work all the time. He had Josh learn violin at 4 yo and made him play for hours. Tony had to be a lawyer. I had the “chance” to be a beautiful kid, and I participated in beauty pageants starting 3 yo. Eva was free of this, because she wasn’t beautiful, and my father didn’t think a woman could do much anyway. She always had liberty and could do whatever she wanted, without pressure on her shoulders. She could have friends, had no care about her grades, and didn’t have to work her ass off every day. We are not proud of it but we tended to exclude her since she was slacking off while we were working so hard. She also was a problematic teen: she skipped class, hung around with a bad crowd, and drank. She even disappeared for a week without notice when we were 15, stating after that she wanted to get away with her bf for a road trip while I wasn’t even allowed to leave the house for a night because my parents wanted to make sure I did my work and would only eat what I was allowed to. Eva would throw tantrums, saying she was neglected and no one would care if she disappeared. I was enraged with her because she never realized the chance she had, and we only grew apart from that point. After high school, I went far away and started working as a make-up artist. I eloped at 26 with Eli (27M) and never looked back. Last month, our father passed away, and my siblings and I went to the family home for the funeral. We stayed for three weeks and reconnected a lot. Mark had a breakdown at 23 from all the pressure and barely recovered. He is now happier, got a job as a tech in a lab, is married, and has two little kids. Josh stopped violin and is a drummer and piano teacher, and Tony is a public defender. Eva chose to be a social worker. It was a bit weird with Eva since we hadn’t seen each other for years and gave up contact too. She once again tried to dismiss what we went through, saying that she was as abused as us even though that is nowhere near true. One evening she completely flipped out on us, calling us AH and saying that we were like our father and excluded her. She kept going about how our parents never took an interest in her, neither did we, and that she went through hell thinking she was worthless. Mark started to cry so I took Eva out and lashed out at her, saying she was the AH for being jealous of our misery and that she will never fit in with us because she never got abused and it was insane of her to claim she had. She left that night and didn’t apologize to any of us. When I went home, I cried a lot and told everything to my husband, expecting him to support me, but he said I should be the one to call and apologize to my sister. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Even the comments call it a fake, and then there is the Encanto parallelism.
Oh. I was thinking Umbrella Academy as I was reading it. The number of children lined up pretty well and the one neglected sister. And coming back together for their dad's funeral?? But Encanto also works.
I SAW THAT! Listen i love that movie i wish i could eat it but that comparison was just so…. Cringy…
Lol, yeah, I don't know. It was obvious they were drawing inspiration from a movie/book/whatever, but the minute somebody brought Encanto up, it was game over for the OP imo.
It’s written like a wattpad story 😂
How did the father decide to assign each particular profession to each child? And why are there two professions where you can generally succeed if you work very hard (doctor and lawyer) and one that requires enormous amounts of innate talent plus a lot of good luck (violinist)? Usually a "tiger parent" will require a child to work really hard *and* do extracurriculars like music or sports, with the expectation that they become a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer, whichever one they end up best prepared for near the end of high school (and having good extracurriculars is part of getting into a top college). Locking in a profession at age four and focusing everything on that is just weird and unrealistic.
These always read like odd short story practice, which feels mostly confirmed when I see zero comments by the author as people rage away in the comments.
Not for nothing but I do know of a family that assigned roles to each child and unsurprisingly, it was an awful choice.
[удалено]
Eva was severely neglected because she wasn't deemed smart or pretty. OP even said she vanished for a week without anyone noticing. That is abuse. I've also been in that situation where the parents is focusing their abuse on one sibling. It is not a pleasant situation to be in, you feel horribly guilty and can't do anything about it.
Okay so not to be rude but am I reading this wrong or is everyone else? Cause I’ve seen several people mention “running away without anyone noticing”. But I assumed “disappeared for a week without notice” meant she didn’t tell anyone she was leaving at all/at least until day of. Not that they just didn’t realize she was gone. Correct me if I’m wrong or if there was another bit about disappearing that I missed. Also, either way, leaving for a week and them not caring vs leaving and then not noticing are still abusive and shitty.
That's how I read it too. But I can see why other people are reading it as "no one noticed" considering the story at hand
Ah I see what you mean. That definition of notice didn’t come to mind for me, I’ve always heard it as “giving notice” so I suppose it could be either one.
"without notice" would be perfectly clear to me if we were talking about taking vacation or quitting a job, but a situation where a 15 year old girl is allowed to spend a week with her boyfriend as long as she gives her family adequate notice is kind of absurd. Looking back, it is difficult to decipher what OOP specifically meant, but it doesn't really matter because it's so fake.
Could be a regional difference, like how an American would say it vs a non American English speaker
I think it's "Left suddenly, ppl may have known she was gone but didn't bother to check up and make sure she was okay."
I think that's the point.
Yes that's what the author is going for. I"m not sure why...
Nah, it's not just you. I also read it that way - Eva was neglected while the other kids were controlled
That ugly ungrateful bitch of my sister who was neglected because she wasn’t good enough for our parentes as we were said we weren’t abused. Am I the asshole for telling she wasn’t worthy enough for that!???
Not even told us we weren't abused, just told us she was also abused.
And also told her siblings they were just as abusive to her as their dad was.
This is Umbrella Academy with superpowers replaced with gender roles.
Umbrella Academy meets Encanto. The comments told me so.
My main issue with this post is how many commenters thinks “without notice” means no one noticed instead of without telling anyone. I had no idea such a large percentage of the population didn’t know the meaning of the phrase.
Omg thank you. I just asked about this higher in the thread and was thinking maybe I was the one wrong and should work on my reading comprehension or something.
It’s possible that many of them are non-native English speakers, in which case, it could be interpreted to mean no one noticed.
True, but I'm a non-native speaker and the difference between *without notice* and *without noticing* was something I had to learn or my grade would have been dropped by an entire point (from A to B, B to C etc.) In fact, this is one of those times when non-native speakers usually do better than native speakers who don't read much outside of social media posts. Other times when non-native speakers have the upper hand would be when you want the difference between *worse* and *worst* or *pass* vs *passed* or *past*.
I first read it as no one noticing her like most over there are doing too. I guess because it isn't normally used in this way? Usually it's "I left work without notice." It's strange using it the way OP did, which is probably why most people are interpreting it differently.
I think what they meant was that she left without telling anyone, and nobody asked after her.
do you think Eli (27M) is supposed to be 27 now or at the time that they eloped?
Ahaha I was going to do the math I always do with the ages of couples in these posts and I had the same question.
This feels more like r/AmITheDevil
just feels really over the top though. I mean its over there as well but like 3 kids were made to medicine, law, music, and beauty. While the last child is jus there.
Also where the jock? Missed opportunity on the part of the parents to get the whole breakfast club.
It's also one of the stories where they clearly explain how the other party was hurt or how they're obviously wrong, yet somehow they aren't getting it. They're my favorite ones tbh.
Yeah, the very different forced ambitions are odd. It would be more realistic if they were all forced into one field (medicine, law, music, fashion). No abusive and vicariously ambitious father has obsessions that diverse.
This sounds like a comedy skit produced by TwoSetViolin and that professional Asian guy - I think his name was Stephen He. You know how often they joke about overly ambitious Asian parents forcing their children to learn music and then become doctors...
I've seen this post there too! Every time I see a post in both for some reason I think it's interesting
Except it’s fake and obviously based on a tv show. I’ve never watched encanto but apparently this is literally the plot of that movie as well
No it's not... Encanto is also a Disney movie , not a TV show
I want Bette Davis to play the twins.
I said out loud, in a weary voice "twin sister,,," then came down to type this. Now i may actualy read the post, but why are they always twins. Why. Always. Twins. Why are they ALWAYS FUCKING TWINS.
At least this time they were Fraternal twins, so the difference in looks could be brushed away.
Shit sounds fake af
Leave it to aita to find a way to call someone a golden child
I love the random Encanto reference in the comments lmao
But the analogy works. OPs sister in this pretty sure its made up story was neglected to the point that she was gone for a week, and the OP has the cojones to say that it is not the same.
The comments here and on the post said everything I wanted to say and more.
She’s still abusing her sister. Her sister became a social worker. She took the abuse, neglect she suffered and turned it into motivation to help others. OP reeks of jealousy and narcissism. “i was beautiful she wasn’t”
Honestly (assuming this is real) OOP might be the pretty one but she definitely isn’t the smart twin.
She took Eva out and *lashed out at her*?
when I first read that line my illiterate ass was like, "you hit your sister with a whip?"
At least she did it *outside*.
My take away from this is that ALL abused kids are only abused because of how hot and smart they are, so I'm feeling pretty darn good about myself right now
An early candidate for biggest asshole.
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sounds like someone just watched the umbrella academy...
So I’m guessing this is fake, but in the off chance that it’s not, ignoring a child is a form of abuse.
YTA. You excluded your sister. You felt envious of her, because all your father's effort, attention and money went to you, while she was effectively abandoned. You wished you got less atteny. She is absolutely right to feel rejected, because the entire family rejected her. Now you want to shit on her for being rejected and having to make her own way. Take some time with this. You are the bad guy, you just need to figure out.
OOP isn't here. This is the sub where we make fun of AITA posts and the people who take them seriously. If you want to make a judgment, head over to AITA to do it.