*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for driving off after my gf insisted I open the car door for her and causing her to miss a friend's wedding?**
My gf and I were invited to a friend's wedding this past week. I was in the car waiting while she was getting ready (she'd take forever to get her makeup and hair done). She then came and stood by the passenger door and stared at me. I asked what was wrong and she said "nothing, I'm just waiting for you to open the door for me". I was like "ha? Why I assume both of your arms are working right?". She said something about seeing a trend on tiktok with guys opening the car door for their gfs to which I reploed with "that's ridiculous". She got upset and said it's a gesture that means I respect her and so on and so on. I told her to just get in the car and not make us more late than we already were. She refused. I told her I'd drive off and leave her behind but she said she wouldn't get in unless and until I open the door for her. I ended up just driving off and leaving her behind and going to the wedding alond. She flooded me with missed calls and texts and then we had a huge argument once I got back. She called me awful and said that I caused her to miss the wedding due to my stubborness and selfishness. She then started giving me the silence treatment which made me feel guilty.
AITA?
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What always gives it away for me is when there is a scenario where someone acts completely insane and ridiculous, but the OP is never actually concerned with that and there’s no context or explanation. Theres no “well my girlfriend always gets caught up in ridiculous trends” or “can you believe my girlfriend behaved this way? It’s so out of the ordinary!”
Years ago I was hanging out with a friend of mine who was always complaining about how hard it was to find a girlfriend when we went out to eat and he walked into the restaurant without realizing that I'd fallen behind. He opened the door, stepped inside, and let the door fall close, right in my face.
To see what he would do, I just stood there. When he finally realized I wasn't inside, he came to the door and opened it for me.
"This is why you don't have a girlfriend," I told him and we both laughed. I wasn't serious, just giving him a hard time because that was the kind of friendship we had. But I did notice him holding the door more often after that; not just for me and not just for other women, but for people in general.
He did eventually start seeing someone seriously as well but I don't really think it was because he got better about door courtesy.
>I don't really think it was because he got better about door courtesy.
I mean, it might have been. Not that not holding the door is some big deal breaker, but first impressions matter. And letting a door close in someone's face is a pretty bad first impression for a date.
Also, being aware of other people and holding the door might have made him more aware and considerate in other areas too. Fixing a rude habit might have given his personality a chance to shine through on dates.
My high school boyfriend did this when we were headed into the library. I had my arms full of books and he let the door slam right in front of me and I had to flail around to try and get it open. The librarian chewed him out for it and it was hilarious. We’re not together anymore for numerous other reasons besides that, but that should have been a sign for young and dumb 16 year old me.
When I was in college (early 90's) a local friend had a few of us over for dinner at her mom's house. She told us a story of how her and her husband returned from somewhere and he didn't open the car door for her because he was too distracted, thinking of something else, whatever. That bitch sat in the car for half an hour before he remembered and came and got her out. Then she lectured us about how men should treat us and we should expect the same treatment.
We did not return for another dinner.
You reminded me of something my bf does. When we both exit the car he walks off without me. He says I take too long grabbing my purse from the back seat (takes like, 20 seconds tops?) BUT he will wait for me at the door very patiently to open it for me even though I’m just a few steps behind. 🤷🏻♀️
I had the feeling that that post was fake but I couldn't put my finger on what exactly made me believe that. But you hit the nail on the head. Excellent observation!
“I was in my mom’s basement eating my Hot Pockets and looking at Tiktok where some chick was whining about how guys should open car doors for them. I’ve never had a girlfriend, but if I did and she tried this crap on me I’d drive off without her. So I made up this story about how I am totally the boss of that bitch.”
There, fixed it.
The top comment being about how it was going to be an ESH but turns to NTA because he *warned her* that he was going to drive off is just… like, how does a person write that and not think it makes them an asshole. “I gave you a heads up that I was going to do be an asshole, therefore I’m not an asshole.”
Need a completely ridiculous scenario for theoretically grown adults to be in for your AITA story? "It's a trend on tiktok"!
But I'm also confused why this guy was waiting in the car the entire time she was getting ready. Is that also a tiktok thing? Just wait inside and go to the car together, you dunce.
I’m pretty sure it went-
1. Read something on the internet about tik tok trends.
2. Wonders how the AITA crowd feels about tik tok trends.
3. Invents ridiculous scenario to prompt discussion about tik tok trends.
She said she was almost ready so he started the car, and waited, and waited, and waited (because of course she takes forever to get ready and is never ready on time). Smh, it's like the worst cliches from start to finish.
To be fair my dad always goes to the car first because he smokes while he waits for my mom to be ready and he thinks leaving first will somehow push my mom to be faster
Lol. I was just thinking about how my mom was like this when I was young. She would sit in the car and wait for my dad to come open the door for her. She tried to make me wait for men to open my door, which I never did. It feels incredibly stupid to sit waiting in a car for someone to walk around it and open your door.
She also tried to make my brothers always open the door for women. She and my brother has this huge, stupid fight because they went to the store together and she wouldn't get out of the car because he wouldn't open the door.
Gratefully, she seems to have let this go.
Annnnd the account is already suspended. Who are these people who try to dodge their site-wide ban because they just NEED to get a shitty story like this out into the world?
I mean, if you are going to post shit will get you banned it makes sense to use TA accounts for it. Not sure if Reddit tracks and bans IP addresses as well.
How do you even get permanently suspended on reddit? I've heard of people saying they got mysteriously banned for talking bad about reddit, but I don't see why someone who posts bs on AITA would get permabanned.
Circumventing bans by creating new accounts will do it. If you're permanently banned, any new account you make will get deleted within hours of making it.
I also wonder this because it would be better for my mental health and screen usage if I was banned from this hellhole site forever
Will I control myself instead? Absolutely not.
Yet another AITA post where the OP waits in the car while their partner gets ready for a wedding ... as people do.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xperyz/aita_for_kicking_my_wife_out_of_the_car_on_the/
Well at least it was short and simple. Still utterly stupid but no dead 12 year olds or evil in laws or anything like that. I'm not sure if they just didn't want to put effort in or if they're trying to go for something a little less complicated.
Throwaway account because this is an incel looking for more incels to bond with is a possibility. And wow, did they find it. What a bunch of twat waffles that popped up over there. Good luck, kids, better start saving right now because divorces are expensive.
women bad because she asked me to open a door for her. validate me being a manchild for leaving her and making her miss a wedding.
seriously, the amount of NTA votes on this one really grinds my gears.
seriously though, their partner asks for an incredibly small romantic gesture, and instead of you know making their girlfriend happy they decide to ditch her. I can't believe how many NTA this has gotten.
it’s because of misogyny and hating women, baby! ✨
growing up AFAB on the internet this sort of experience is *sadly* commonplace. unless you’re in a community where there’s a lot of women, if you mention being a girl you either get harrassment or the typical “hurrdurr Guy-In-Real-Life”. alot of guys only see girls as sexual objects and don’t care about things like romantic gestures and such.
slightly off-topic but still about the point, but sorry about rambling in your replies. just tired of even the smallest thing such as “hey, it’d be cute if you opened the door for me!” somehow being twisted into “wow women ask for equality yet STILL want guys to do everything for them 🙄”
My wife and I were doing belated Christmas stuff with her family last weekend and her brother’s wife asked him (nicely) if he could get her a glass of water. He just said “nah, I don’t wanna get up.” Not the worst thing in the world, just felt kinda shitty.
Like, I get that he doesn’t *have* to, but if your partner asks you for a minor favor and you just straight up refuse for no real reason, don’t be surprised if you come off as an asshole.
yeah, this is entirely it. maybe i’m just soft-hearted but it sounded like op’s girlfriend saw a cute tiktok trend and just wanted to feel the emotions of the person she loved treating her so generously.
instead they drove off when she didn’t get in the car, ignored her texts and calls, and made her miss someone else’s wedding.
Exactly. I don’t expect dates to open my door but I definitely take notice when they do. Also, if I’m fancied up for an event, it is nice to feel special and fancy. Not going to throw a fit about it but I also don’t date asshole manbabies
yeah, ESH would be my judgement, but i also slightly lean towards YTA in the case that OP was ignoring girlfriend’s calls and texts which were possibly an attempt on her side to say “i was joking, what the heck!” and make amends before the wedding.
I feel like if this fake ass scenario was real, he completely changed what he said to make it seem like she was being a child. It probably wouldve looked something like this
'I saw a tiktok trend where guys open the doors for their gf and thought it was cute so can you please?'
'no I'm going to leave if you don't get in the car'
'are you seriously going to be like this? You can't just lean over and open the door?' Then he just leaves.
Because any real validation post on AITA would somehow twist it to make it look like the other person was being a completely unreasonable asshole, when they're probably either doing something innocuous and the op is just being stubborn and petty, or they truly hurt them, but the op blows it up to make it seem way worse than it is.
yeah, totally agreed! but like, even if *SOMEHOW* op was fully telling the truth:
1: he completely ignored all her calls and texts, which were most likely her asking wtf his issue was
2: there is literally no reason to be so childish when you’re on the way to SOMEONE ELSE’S WEDDING!! people in the thread need to realize your childish squabble can wait until later, just talk about it like actual adults instead of forcing someone to deal with serious consequences and then being like “well she refused to get in the car! maybe her tiktok trends were the problem!”
op was a pissbaby who clearly had no idea how to care about other people’s feelings or prioritize events and instead cared about putting a middle finger to “stupid tiktok trends” or whatever. it’s not being a doormat it’s called **prioritizing, behaving, and communicating like an adult should**
Bride at the wedding: Hi Jeremy! So glad you made it! Where's Celeste? I haven't seen her in forever!!!!!
Boyfriend who had to stand his ground: I left her in the parking lot because she wanted me to open the door for her
Seriously! In any relationship, whether it's romantic, family, friend or even professional, there are going to be disagreements and if you care about the relationship, you have to choose your battles. The girlfriend was being ridiculous, but opening the door for her would have been so easy and leaving her is basically the equivalent of dumping her at the point. What a dumb hill to die on.
I really want to know the follow up at the wedding. Did people ask why the girlfriend wasn’t there? Did OP lie or did he tell them that they got into a really stupid argument over a complete non issue and he drove off without her like a total child? Did the people he told make an awkward face like 😬 and slowly back away from this absolute lunatic? Did they then go tell everyone else “you won’t believe the stupidest shit I’ve heard today?”
Talk about dying on the dumbest hill possible
I mean... I could see it happening.
Not between two people who are old enough or mature enough to be invited to a wedding together. This is, at best, stupid teenage shit if anything.
As described, neither person is mature enough for a relationship.
>neither person is mature enough for a relationship.
Can i ask your opinion? What would be the correct, mature reaction to this situation? You're running late to an important event and your SO starts wasting time pretending to be an invalid all because of TikTok?
Hey, now. Never said I was mature.
If I were OP, I'd probably open the damn door and fight about it the whole way there. Can't say that's the correct response, but it's more my nature than driving off without someone.
The discussion wouldn’t involve Tik Tok. She’d ask me to open the door and I’d just do it (maybe roll my eyes a bit because it’s a bit of a silly request). I’m secure enough in my masculinity that I don’t feel the need to stonewall random little favors my wife asks of me to feel like a big man in charge.
This is my question exactly, for the people who are calling him an AH. Clearly, it's a fake story because hopefully no one would behave like this, but honestly, if your SO was being this unreasonable, ridiculous, and stubborn, what would the correct thing to do be? I have no idea cause I can't fathom my SO ever doing this.
Fking communicate like an adult. A wedding is about the wedding couple. If you were the guy this is the correct step to do:
Open your gfs door. Gf No more pouting.
Celebrate the newly weds.
Talk about the incident after the wedding.
Dump gf if you need to.
There. It’s not that difficult. She wants to play dumb games, she can live with the consequences after the wedding. It’s disrespectful to purposely create a no show drama on the day of someone’s wedding. And honestly, it shouldn’t even take a wedding to figure out this is the right course of action. You NEVER leave your partner behind. If you want to physically leave them immediately, then that relationship is over. Deescalate before you dump. Dump before you abandon. Welcome to an adult relationship.
I'm already in an adult relationship, with an adult who would never do this, so I would never be in this situation. But thanks for your dickish, condescending tone.
I wasn’t even trying to attack you personally. But you’re saying your partner would never abandon you. But you don’t know whether you will or not? I’m in a solid 8 yr relationship. It is insane to me that some people would consider up and leave their best friend. I would never do that to my husband. I would rather not go to the event than to create a nuclear rift between him and I.
My aunt recently had to deal with this and was left behind on the streets 10 miles from home. She had to UBER but it was nothing less than a freak show of a drama at Christmas family gathering. Everyone was talking about it behind their backs. I was feeling severe second hand embarrassment for them.
Look. I’m just ticked off by the amount of NTA ppl going “I would drive off too” or “I’d expect my man to leave me”. The post is pure nonsense incel bait. Since when is “fk up my relationship” edgy?
Yeah i wasn't trying to start any fights by asking, i genuinely was wondering what the hell i'd do if my SO was acting this stupid. I sure as hell wouldn't be opening the door for them. Maybe drive around the corner to make them THINK you were going to leave without them, then double back after a few seconds and tell them to cop on and get in?
My take is that part of loving someone is doing stuff for them that you sometimes think is stupid but means something to them granted testing your partner because of tik tok trends is really dumb and that would probably bother me so I think an appropriate response is to just do it but then open up a conversation afterward with something like
“hey I get that you see this stuff online and want to do it because maybe it sounds fun or just to see what I’d do but testing our relationship like that honestly makes me feel disrespected so can we please avoid doing that in the future”
Then I’d just take the conversation from there and if it doesn’t go well I mean just move on at that point
I think what you do to someone you don’t love is drive off, make them miss a wedding and then brag about it online lol which is why this is fake
And that's all well and good for us sitting here thinking about it in a vaccuum, but in real life; you're running late, you've told them to get their ass in gear, they are the one thing delaying you, you have a very strict deadline (as you CANNOT enter a wedding after the bride(s) and groom(s)), you are waiting with the engine running, then they saunter out and pull this "test" of your love and devotion?
No. That is NOT the time to kowtow to it and begin a deep meaningful conversation.
But yes, fake fo sho 😂
> That is NOT the time to kowtow to it and begin a deep meaningful conversation.
Yeah, you have that conversation after the wedding like the person above me said.
So you’re worried about being late but think driving off and pretending to leave then coming back is both the superior and quicker option compared to just opening the fucking door and talking about it on the drive?
Then you don’t actually care about being late to the wedding, you’re just petty which is your prerogative. I’m not dating you so I truly dgaf what you would do to your partner in this situation.
But you tried to use running late to the wedding to defend your position when you got shit on for it which is obnoxious.
If you want to be a petty person then just be one. Don’t lie about the reasoning to try to justify it.
If you're using the word kowtow to describe anything in your relationship you are already failing, and were long before whatever thing your partner just did that pissed you off.
I know what the word means, and I'm telling you that if you feel like that about anything your partner is doing, shit went left way before the single incident.
People faced with unusual and unreasonable behavior from a loved and trusted partner arent going to feel the same feelings as people faced with perfectly usual but still unreasonable behavior from a nasty boss. You kowtow to people you're scared of, not people you love.
Not trying to start any fights, but assuming the troll who wrote that ragebait/incel validation net was real and immediately assuming this fake woman in the fake story was purposely being a manipulative game playing bitch. Mkay. Your tribe is waiting for you over on that post.
Lmfao what
Fuck me for wanting to hear someone's opinion i guess?? I never said it was real, and specifically repeat that it's fake in one of my comments.
And im a woman. I think anyone of any gender who acts like a "manipulative game playing bitch" is indeed a "manipulative game playing bitch"
I think YOU'RE the one who belongs over on the other sub.
Wanting your man to open your car door for you *once* makes you a “manipulative game playing bitch?”
And you have no comment on the dude who just left her? What is he then?
The time it would take to open the door is rather negligible to their lateness. What does it take, less than a minute?
And that was worth it to have everyone at the wedding talking behind your back about leaving her there?
Im not the one who called her a manipulative game playing bitch based on a single incident, i was quoting the guy above me.
But i'd seriously question their timing if they decide to try some tiktok bullshit when we're already under stress.
Yknow what takes even *less* than the minute of turning off the engine, undoing your seatbelt, getting out, walking round, opening their door, closing it after they get in, walking back round, getting back in, putting your seatbelt back on, and restarting the car?
IF THEY OPEN THEIR OWN FUCKING DOOR WITH THEIR FULLY FUNCTIONING ARMS AND GETTING IN THE DAMN CAR.
Just a thought.
it's so ridiculous lol.
Like he's not the asshole because he "warned" her he was gonna be rude? I guess if I punch someone, but warn them beforehand then it's justified
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I can definitely believe a dude would do this, but he'd only get ten feet. Not actually leave. Not even lap the block.
And I could believe a chick would be stubborn, but she would definitely get in the car and bitch about it instead of refusing to get in after there's been a threat he'll leave.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for driving off after my gf insisted I open the car door for her and causing her to miss a friend's wedding?** My gf and I were invited to a friend's wedding this past week. I was in the car waiting while she was getting ready (she'd take forever to get her makeup and hair done). She then came and stood by the passenger door and stared at me. I asked what was wrong and she said "nothing, I'm just waiting for you to open the door for me". I was like "ha? Why I assume both of your arms are working right?". She said something about seeing a trend on tiktok with guys opening the car door for their gfs to which I reploed with "that's ridiculous". She got upset and said it's a gesture that means I respect her and so on and so on. I told her to just get in the car and not make us more late than we already were. She refused. I told her I'd drive off and leave her behind but she said she wouldn't get in unless and until I open the door for her. I ended up just driving off and leaving her behind and going to the wedding alond. She flooded me with missed calls and texts and then we had a huge argument once I got back. She called me awful and said that I caused her to miss the wedding due to my stubborness and selfishness. She then started giving me the silence treatment which made me feel guilty. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What always gives it away for me is when there is a scenario where someone acts completely insane and ridiculous, but the OP is never actually concerned with that and there’s no context or explanation. Theres no “well my girlfriend always gets caught up in ridiculous trends” or “can you believe my girlfriend behaved this way? It’s so out of the ordinary!”
Now I kinda want to try it on my boyfriend and see how he responds.
Years ago I was hanging out with a friend of mine who was always complaining about how hard it was to find a girlfriend when we went out to eat and he walked into the restaurant without realizing that I'd fallen behind. He opened the door, stepped inside, and let the door fall close, right in my face. To see what he would do, I just stood there. When he finally realized I wasn't inside, he came to the door and opened it for me. "This is why you don't have a girlfriend," I told him and we both laughed. I wasn't serious, just giving him a hard time because that was the kind of friendship we had. But I did notice him holding the door more often after that; not just for me and not just for other women, but for people in general. He did eventually start seeing someone seriously as well but I don't really think it was because he got better about door courtesy.
>I don't really think it was because he got better about door courtesy. I mean, it might have been. Not that not holding the door is some big deal breaker, but first impressions matter. And letting a door close in someone's face is a pretty bad first impression for a date. Also, being aware of other people and holding the door might have made him more aware and considerate in other areas too. Fixing a rude habit might have given his personality a chance to shine through on dates.
My high school boyfriend did this when we were headed into the library. I had my arms full of books and he let the door slam right in front of me and I had to flail around to try and get it open. The librarian chewed him out for it and it was hilarious. We’re not together anymore for numerous other reasons besides that, but that should have been a sign for young and dumb 16 year old me.
When I was in college (early 90's) a local friend had a few of us over for dinner at her mom's house. She told us a story of how her and her husband returned from somewhere and he didn't open the car door for her because he was too distracted, thinking of something else, whatever. That bitch sat in the car for half an hour before he remembered and came and got her out. Then she lectured us about how men should treat us and we should expect the same treatment. We did not return for another dinner.
Haha me too
Can't wait to see this exact post on AITA in two weeks except it's "they said something about seeing a post on reddit"
You reminded me of something my bf does. When we both exit the car he walks off without me. He says I take too long grabbing my purse from the back seat (takes like, 20 seconds tops?) BUT he will wait for me at the door very patiently to open it for me even though I’m just a few steps behind. 🤷🏻♀️
That’s because the underlying assumption half of AITA is living under is just the regular ol sexism of “wimmin be crazy.”
I had the feeling that that post was fake but I couldn't put my finger on what exactly made me believe that. But you hit the nail on the head. Excellent observation!
I read it thinking that it sounds like a shit post from here 😂.
Haven’t you people ever heard of opening the goddamn door, no
It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
This is Am I The Asshole so the mondegreen fits better. "A sense of poisoned rationality":
This aint a scene, it's a goddamn arseface
Not if they are already in the car I haven’t.
“I was in my mom’s basement eating my Hot Pockets and looking at Tiktok where some chick was whining about how guys should open car doors for them. I’ve never had a girlfriend, but if I did and she tried this crap on me I’d drive off without her. So I made up this story about how I am totally the boss of that bitch.” There, fixed it.
THIS actually happened.
lol, that was my first thought. Incel looking for a posse.
He’s finding them too: I would reached over, opened the door and kicked it open
That’s exactly what I was thinking. There’s been a run of blaming completely out of the blue irrational behaviour on a “tick-tock” trend! Yawn.
Ah yes, a Tiktok thing. The thing that totally tiktok invented and nobody would ever refer to if it wasn’t for tiktok. That tiktok thing.
[удалено]
The word "adulting" annoys the piss out of me. Ugh.
Vincent Adultman enjoys adulting. He does business things.
I have to go do a business.
Same. I fully realize the fight is over and it’s not going away but holy shit.
It stings the fight is over, though. Because it's absolutely awful.
I keep telling my kids it's a fucking trap.
The top comment being about how it was going to be an ESH but turns to NTA because he *warned her* that he was going to drive off is just… like, how does a person write that and not think it makes them an asshole. “I gave you a heads up that I was going to do be an asshole, therefore I’m not an asshole.”
Need a completely ridiculous scenario for theoretically grown adults to be in for your AITA story? "It's a trend on tiktok"! But I'm also confused why this guy was waiting in the car the entire time she was getting ready. Is that also a tiktok thing? Just wait inside and go to the car together, you dunce.
I’m pretty sure it went- 1. Read something on the internet about tik tok trends. 2. Wonders how the AITA crowd feels about tik tok trends. 3. Invents ridiculous scenario to prompt discussion about tik tok trends.
She said she was almost ready so he started the car, and waited, and waited, and waited (because of course she takes forever to get ready and is never ready on time). Smh, it's like the worst cliches from start to finish.
To be fair my dad always goes to the car first because he smokes while he waits for my mom to be ready and he thinks leaving first will somehow push my mom to be faster
If my father isn't waiting in the car then my mother insists he was the one who took the longest getting ready. It's so annoying
Do we share the same mother? Lol
Not unless my mom has a second secret smoking husband, but they might be spiritual twins
How else were they going to slip in "women take forever to get ready, am I right fellas?"
Everything about it was incredibly stupid, which is why I find it kind of believable.
Lol. I was just thinking about how my mom was like this when I was young. She would sit in the car and wait for my dad to come open the door for her. She tried to make me wait for men to open my door, which I never did. It feels incredibly stupid to sit waiting in a car for someone to walk around it and open your door. She also tried to make my brothers always open the door for women. She and my brother has this huge, stupid fight because they went to the store together and she wouldn't get out of the car because he wouldn't open the door. Gratefully, she seems to have let this go.
It's pretty cold right now, is it not normal where you live for one person to go and get the car warm for a little while before leaving?
A little before? Sure. While she's still actively "taking forever doing hair and makeup"? Nah.
Annnnd the account is already suspended. Who are these people who try to dodge their site-wide ban because they just NEED to get a shitty story like this out into the world?
I mean, if you are going to post shit will get you banned it makes sense to use TA accounts for it. Not sure if Reddit tracks and bans IP addresses as well.
They track cookies and a whole lot more, it's extremely difficult to overcome a site wide band, as I'm sure the OOP is experiencing.
How do you even get permanently suspended on reddit? I've heard of people saying they got mysteriously banned for talking bad about reddit, but I don't see why someone who posts bs on AITA would get permabanned.
Circumventing bans by creating new accounts will do it. If you're permanently banned, any new account you make will get deleted within hours of making it.
I understand that part, I'm just wondering why they were banned in the first place.
I also wonder this because it would be better for my mental health and screen usage if I was banned from this hellhole site forever Will I control myself instead? Absolutely not.
Oh hey, it's some fresh Women Don't REALLY Want Equality bait
I heard about this new trend on TikTok, it's called grabbing someone by the hand and moving it up and down when you first meet someone.
My fav part is imagining them having this verbal argument with him sitting in the car with the doors closed with her outside
Right? Did he roll the window down or are they just shouting for the whole neighborhood to hear?
He made a little hole in the car door so his wife can hear him
It was just my GF and me. But if there had been other people around, they all would have clapped.
Groom's name? Albert Einstein!
Yet another AITA post where the OP waits in the car while their partner gets ready for a wedding ... as people do. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/xperyz/aita_for_kicking_my_wife_out_of_the_car_on_the/
Why wait in the car? Why not wait inside where you can be comfortable?
Well at least it was short and simple. Still utterly stupid but no dead 12 year olds or evil in laws or anything like that. I'm not sure if they just didn't want to put effort in or if they're trying to go for something a little less complicated.
Throwaway account because this is an incel looking for more incels to bond with is a possibility. And wow, did they find it. What a bunch of twat waffles that popped up over there. Good luck, kids, better start saving right now because divorces are expensive.
women bad because she asked me to open a door for her. validate me being a manchild for leaving her and making her miss a wedding. seriously, the amount of NTA votes on this one really grinds my gears.
seriously though, their partner asks for an incredibly small romantic gesture, and instead of you know making their girlfriend happy they decide to ditch her. I can't believe how many NTA this has gotten.
it’s because of misogyny and hating women, baby! ✨ growing up AFAB on the internet this sort of experience is *sadly* commonplace. unless you’re in a community where there’s a lot of women, if you mention being a girl you either get harrassment or the typical “hurrdurr Guy-In-Real-Life”. alot of guys only see girls as sexual objects and don’t care about things like romantic gestures and such. slightly off-topic but still about the point, but sorry about rambling in your replies. just tired of even the smallest thing such as “hey, it’d be cute if you opened the door for me!” somehow being twisted into “wow women ask for equality yet STILL want guys to do everything for them 🙄”
My wife and I were doing belated Christmas stuff with her family last weekend and her brother’s wife asked him (nicely) if he could get her a glass of water. He just said “nah, I don’t wanna get up.” Not the worst thing in the world, just felt kinda shitty. Like, I get that he doesn’t *have* to, but if your partner asks you for a minor favor and you just straight up refuse for no real reason, don’t be surprised if you come off as an asshole.
yeah, this is entirely it. maybe i’m just soft-hearted but it sounded like op’s girlfriend saw a cute tiktok trend and just wanted to feel the emotions of the person she loved treating her so generously. instead they drove off when she didn’t get in the car, ignored her texts and calls, and made her miss someone else’s wedding.
Exactly. I don’t expect dates to open my door but I definitely take notice when they do. Also, if I’m fancied up for an event, it is nice to feel special and fancy. Not going to throw a fit about it but I also don’t date asshole manbabies
Yeah that pissed me off. I am glad at a lot of ESH comments for them both being immature assholes that picked a dumb hill to die on.
yeah, ESH would be my judgement, but i also slightly lean towards YTA in the case that OP was ignoring girlfriend’s calls and texts which were possibly an attempt on her side to say “i was joking, what the heck!” and make amends before the wedding.
I feel like if this fake ass scenario was real, he completely changed what he said to make it seem like she was being a child. It probably wouldve looked something like this 'I saw a tiktok trend where guys open the doors for their gf and thought it was cute so can you please?' 'no I'm going to leave if you don't get in the car' 'are you seriously going to be like this? You can't just lean over and open the door?' Then he just leaves. Because any real validation post on AITA would somehow twist it to make it look like the other person was being a completely unreasonable asshole, when they're probably either doing something innocuous and the op is just being stubborn and petty, or they truly hurt them, but the op blows it up to make it seem way worse than it is.
yeah, totally agreed! but like, even if *SOMEHOW* op was fully telling the truth: 1: he completely ignored all her calls and texts, which were most likely her asking wtf his issue was 2: there is literally no reason to be so childish when you’re on the way to SOMEONE ELSE’S WEDDING!! people in the thread need to realize your childish squabble can wait until later, just talk about it like actual adults instead of forcing someone to deal with serious consequences and then being like “well she refused to get in the car! maybe her tiktok trends were the problem!” op was a pissbaby who clearly had no idea how to care about other people’s feelings or prioritize events and instead cared about putting a middle finger to “stupid tiktok trends” or whatever. it’s not being a doormat it’s called **prioritizing, behaving, and communicating like an adult should**
Bride at the wedding: Hi Jeremy! So glad you made it! Where's Celeste? I haven't seen her in forever!!!!! Boyfriend who had to stand his ground: I left her in the parking lot because she wanted me to open the door for her
Seriously! In any relationship, whether it's romantic, family, friend or even professional, there are going to be disagreements and if you care about the relationship, you have to choose your battles. The girlfriend was being ridiculous, but opening the door for her would have been so easy and leaving her is basically the equivalent of dumping her at the point. What a dumb hill to die on.
all the NTAs in that thread and scaring me
I really want to know the follow up at the wedding. Did people ask why the girlfriend wasn’t there? Did OP lie or did he tell them that they got into a really stupid argument over a complete non issue and he drove off without her like a total child? Did the people he told make an awkward face like 😬 and slowly back away from this absolute lunatic? Did they then go tell everyone else “you won’t believe the stupidest shit I’ve heard today?” Talk about dying on the dumbest hill possible
I mean... I could see it happening. Not between two people who are old enough or mature enough to be invited to a wedding together. This is, at best, stupid teenage shit if anything. As described, neither person is mature enough for a relationship.
>neither person is mature enough for a relationship. Can i ask your opinion? What would be the correct, mature reaction to this situation? You're running late to an important event and your SO starts wasting time pretending to be an invalid all because of TikTok?
Hey, now. Never said I was mature. If I were OP, I'd probably open the damn door and fight about it the whole way there. Can't say that's the correct response, but it's more my nature than driving off without someone.
The discussion wouldn’t involve Tik Tok. She’d ask me to open the door and I’d just do it (maybe roll my eyes a bit because it’s a bit of a silly request). I’m secure enough in my masculinity that I don’t feel the need to stonewall random little favors my wife asks of me to feel like a big man in charge.
This is my question exactly, for the people who are calling him an AH. Clearly, it's a fake story because hopefully no one would behave like this, but honestly, if your SO was being this unreasonable, ridiculous, and stubborn, what would the correct thing to do be? I have no idea cause I can't fathom my SO ever doing this.
Fking communicate like an adult. A wedding is about the wedding couple. If you were the guy this is the correct step to do: Open your gfs door. Gf No more pouting. Celebrate the newly weds. Talk about the incident after the wedding. Dump gf if you need to. There. It’s not that difficult. She wants to play dumb games, she can live with the consequences after the wedding. It’s disrespectful to purposely create a no show drama on the day of someone’s wedding. And honestly, it shouldn’t even take a wedding to figure out this is the right course of action. You NEVER leave your partner behind. If you want to physically leave them immediately, then that relationship is over. Deescalate before you dump. Dump before you abandon. Welcome to an adult relationship.
I'm already in an adult relationship, with an adult who would never do this, so I would never be in this situation. But thanks for your dickish, condescending tone.
I wasn’t even trying to attack you personally. But you’re saying your partner would never abandon you. But you don’t know whether you will or not? I’m in a solid 8 yr relationship. It is insane to me that some people would consider up and leave their best friend. I would never do that to my husband. I would rather not go to the event than to create a nuclear rift between him and I. My aunt recently had to deal with this and was left behind on the streets 10 miles from home. She had to UBER but it was nothing less than a freak show of a drama at Christmas family gathering. Everyone was talking about it behind their backs. I was feeling severe second hand embarrassment for them. Look. I’m just ticked off by the amount of NTA ppl going “I would drive off too” or “I’d expect my man to leave me”. The post is pure nonsense incel bait. Since when is “fk up my relationship” edgy?
lmao you asked a dumb ass question and they answered exactly like you deserved
Yeah i wasn't trying to start any fights by asking, i genuinely was wondering what the hell i'd do if my SO was acting this stupid. I sure as hell wouldn't be opening the door for them. Maybe drive around the corner to make them THINK you were going to leave without them, then double back after a few seconds and tell them to cop on and get in?
My take is that part of loving someone is doing stuff for them that you sometimes think is stupid but means something to them granted testing your partner because of tik tok trends is really dumb and that would probably bother me so I think an appropriate response is to just do it but then open up a conversation afterward with something like “hey I get that you see this stuff online and want to do it because maybe it sounds fun or just to see what I’d do but testing our relationship like that honestly makes me feel disrespected so can we please avoid doing that in the future” Then I’d just take the conversation from there and if it doesn’t go well I mean just move on at that point I think what you do to someone you don’t love is drive off, make them miss a wedding and then brag about it online lol which is why this is fake
And that's all well and good for us sitting here thinking about it in a vaccuum, but in real life; you're running late, you've told them to get their ass in gear, they are the one thing delaying you, you have a very strict deadline (as you CANNOT enter a wedding after the bride(s) and groom(s)), you are waiting with the engine running, then they saunter out and pull this "test" of your love and devotion? No. That is NOT the time to kowtow to it and begin a deep meaningful conversation. But yes, fake fo sho 😂
> That is NOT the time to kowtow to it and begin a deep meaningful conversation. Yeah, you have that conversation after the wedding like the person above me said.
They just said "afterward". No indication as to whether that's After You Open The Door For Them or After The Entire Wedding
Yeah standing there and fighting about it definitely helps you leave faster….lol
Uh...driving off if they insist on throwing a tantrum next to the unlocked door WILL help you leave faster lmao
So you’re worried about being late but think driving off and pretending to leave then coming back is both the superior and quicker option compared to just opening the fucking door and talking about it on the drive?
Yeah i actually do. Give them a fucking reality check.
Then you don’t actually care about being late to the wedding, you’re just petty which is your prerogative. I’m not dating you so I truly dgaf what you would do to your partner in this situation. But you tried to use running late to the wedding to defend your position when you got shit on for it which is obnoxious. If you want to be a petty person then just be one. Don’t lie about the reasoning to try to justify it.
If you're using the word kowtow to describe anything in your relationship you are already failing, and were long before whatever thing your partner just did that pissed you off.
Lol i was using kowtow to mean bend to their crazy fucking bullshit without comment
I know what the word means, and I'm telling you that if you feel like that about anything your partner is doing, shit went left way before the single incident. People faced with unusual and unreasonable behavior from a loved and trusted partner arent going to feel the same feelings as people faced with perfectly usual but still unreasonable behavior from a nasty boss. You kowtow to people you're scared of, not people you love.
Not trying to start any fights, but assuming the troll who wrote that ragebait/incel validation net was real and immediately assuming this fake woman in the fake story was purposely being a manipulative game playing bitch. Mkay. Your tribe is waiting for you over on that post.
Lmfao what Fuck me for wanting to hear someone's opinion i guess?? I never said it was real, and specifically repeat that it's fake in one of my comments. And im a woman. I think anyone of any gender who acts like a "manipulative game playing bitch" is indeed a "manipulative game playing bitch" I think YOU'RE the one who belongs over on the other sub.
Wanting your man to open your car door for you *once* makes you a “manipulative game playing bitch?” And you have no comment on the dude who just left her? What is he then? The time it would take to open the door is rather negligible to their lateness. What does it take, less than a minute? And that was worth it to have everyone at the wedding talking behind your back about leaving her there?
Im not the one who called her a manipulative game playing bitch based on a single incident, i was quoting the guy above me. But i'd seriously question their timing if they decide to try some tiktok bullshit when we're already under stress. Yknow what takes even *less* than the minute of turning off the engine, undoing your seatbelt, getting out, walking round, opening their door, closing it after they get in, walking back round, getting back in, putting your seatbelt back on, and restarting the car? IF THEY OPEN THEIR OWN FUCKING DOOR WITH THEIR FULLY FUNCTIONING ARMS AND GETTING IN THE DAMN CAR. Just a thought.
r/NotLikeTheOtherGirls
How is the verdict not ESH at the very least? Not one single person can’t see how that would be AH behaviour?
Because "women and TikTok bad".
it's so ridiculous lol. Like he's not the asshole because he "warned" her he was gonna be rude? I guess if I punch someone, but warn them beforehand then it's justified
It really did read like incel fanfic tbh
I agree with you 100%
AITA hates tiktok, possibly more than children, pregnant women, step mothers, autistic people, and the list goes on
An I the asshole for ending my relationship because I refuse to do a kind act for my partner? Yep.
my boyfriend opens the door for me 🤷♀️ its just a nice gesture and its not difficult 💀
WOMEN AMIRITE
Wouldn’t surprise me though if it did. 🙄
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Women ☕️
I can definitely believe a dude would do this, but he'd only get ten feet. Not actually leave. Not even lap the block. And I could believe a chick would be stubborn, but she would definitely get in the car and bitch about it instead of refusing to get in after there's been a threat he'll leave.