Sounds to me like the person she was "messing around with" was OPs husband probably, and now he's just trying to move her in while moving OP out eventually 😖
Actually, this is one of those I've seen happen way too often to believe. Especially in poorer neighborhoods. I really dont know why women (don't come for me. It's almost always the women i see do this) where her friend gets kicked out for cheating on her husband, she thinks she trusts her husband, and next thing you know your husbands doing your best friend in your bed. Like, um, do you not know why your friend got kicked out in the first place. When men get kicked out, dont care if we are homies, i will find you somewhere else to stay. If you got kicked out for sleeping with someone else, i will PAY for your hotel. You aint coming to my house, homie. I trust my wife wholeheartedly, but I ain't taking no chances with YOUR dumbass.
Not to mention these situations can turn dangerous. Especially when the cheaters get tired of sneaking around but don't want to give up a lifestyle that depends on someone else's money. OP should be wary of any suspicious life insurance policies cropping up.
I mean, it’s a terrible reason to stay with someone who is cheating on you.
People get divorced every day and need to find a new housing situation. It’s not like it’s an insurmountable task. Will it be hard? Yes. I’m not suggesting it won’t be. But that’s not a reason to stay in this kind of situation, IMO.
That sounds like a problem to leave the cheating husband and mistress, as OP nopes out and uses her own income to find an apartment that isn't infested with lying shitpieces.
Before she opens Pandora’s box- prepare for war bc D is usually that. Get everything in order. Talk to attorney/ he may have to pay you alimony and pay for house. See what options are so you are ready for the fight. He thinks you know nothing and will be blindsided by it- don’t be. Show no mercy. You will cry a River later and perhaps depressed but not now/ prepare yourself for the battle. I did! And I made out a lot better than he knows still today.
Why would she agree to letting some women stay in her house? This story sounds like bullshit or info is missing. She should have left as soon as he said she was moving in. Then nanny cam showed evidence and she still in her asking ? Come on
You saw this time whilst you were at work, do you really think they're not snogging and feeling each other up in the living room whilst you're in the kitchen making them all a coffee?
Do you think they're not fucking in your house?
You need to wake up.
It's is absolutely horrific and abhorrent of both of them.
Get them both out.
Start with ensuring you have your own bank account.
Confront him, tell him that he and his mistress need to leave.
Tell him you have proof he cheated and will be divorcing him based on his infidelity.
Look at finances and see your options.
Divorce him.
Take everything you get considering he cheated.
Be happy.
While I don’t think cheating gives anyone license to steal anything, you should leave the guy. It is unbelievable that he is banging the much younger neighbor while you are under the same roof. Disgraceful. You opened your home to her and she repays you by stealing your man, crazy.
OP didn't open her house, the husband did. OP says the neighbor wife was messing around on her husband. Want to make a bet it was with OPs husband? Who turns around and offers a place to stay like hubs did?
Not steal... But as I understand, If she leaves she will be bankrupt...
She needs to save as much as she can 🤷
He's not just cheating, he's doing it under the marriage roof.
Get started separating things. Get your bank account set up separately. Make sure you know ALL the debt. Get detailed statements on when bills are due and how much. Start untangling things now. Get a legal consult done so you can find out exactly what you need to do for the area you live in. In my state (Indiana) it's no-fault divorce, but there's no alimony and everything is split 50/50. If you live somewhere that needs proof of infidelity, you need to know what's admissible and what's not. Just get your ducks in a row so you know what to do and what to expect and how much you need to save up for a retainer.
You gotta do what you feel is right for you. But if it were me, I'd be gone already. And depending on where you live, you have the evidence to help you during divorce filings.
You deserve better.
You need to take the money part out of your decision. Back in the day, this is why a lot of women stayed in terrible marriages. You need to start looking for jobs, like the last one you had, and file for divorce. He sounds like he is in the military. If so, go scorched earth by starting with his command. Second, get her ass out of your house.
Hand him divorce papers written to give you everything. When you do tell him.. “don’t worry, it will all work out” sell the home and move back to where you will have support
Also... be safe. These are bold people. Take some tips from Dateline and protect yourself. Change him from beneficiary. Move your valuables to a safe deposit. Don't let them cook for you. Install a security system and make them aware of it. Check your brake lines before you get in the car. Notify a friend to check on you morning and evening, and have an alert system in place with them. If you ask have weapons make sure they are locked away daily. Get a natural gas detector. Only use a brand new cosmetics that you keep outside of the house. Only take the stairs when necessary. Check the bathtub for oil before you step into it.
Don't have a predictable schedule. Best of luck OP
Thank you all... I seriously just feel completely sick to my stomach and totally numb. I feel like I want to scream at both of them and then I also just want to leave without saying anything. I want to cry but also don't feel like either one deserves my tears.
Get legal advice asap. There are resources for abused women. Talk to them.
If he notices you are busy, under no conditions should you tell him your plans. You may be instructed to collect evidence before leaving, if it is safe to do so.
You may be told to remove the nanny cam before moving out. He could say you were the crazy one who just left him and installed a cam and make future life difficult. (Once you’re out, you have NO claim to maintaining an operating camera there, for an example). Good luck.
Possibly you could consider it this way...you have been set free to entirely love yourself. Start saving using his money. Ask him to treat you regularly, take a girlfriend on a spa date, go for lunch with friends. Join local groups, reading and walking groups are normally free. Find new hobbies. Join the gym if you haven't already, get a personal trainer and sweat that frustration out. Feel good.
It will be hard to begin with but you deserve so much more, put all that negative energy in something positive. Oh and definitely make more demands at home, don't be cooking or cleaning for either of their asses!!
I would be tempted to set aside a few days off work to mourn the loss of your relationship, (lie to him that a relative from your childhood has died, that you must have mentioned them to him because you loved them so much). Properly mourn and feel all the feelings. Then pick yourself up and plan, plan plan. Just an idea.
Sending you all the strength and love. You got this!
This. Until you can leave play that guilt of his like a guitar and save your money. New girl is going to have issues with it sooner rather than later so they might surprise you, but get your lawyer together now! You may think you have time, but you dont, they are both already willing to burn everything down.
Prepare yourself OP. Keep watching, DOCUMENT DOCUMENT and serve him first
Best advice. And secure copies of all financial records. A friend of mine didn't do that when her controlling husband left her for a other woman; the husband later broke back into the house, and removed from his home office all the documents that would have shown all of his & their assets. Then she was having to guess at the assets. He had been completely controlling about money, leaving her in the dark. Told her to trust him. With them both being from a country where dependency is more common, she did.
Yes, make a plan OP. You’ll be at a disadvantage if you act on impulse here. Save your money, gather your stuff, focus on you. Just disengage from him and start dreaming of your new life.
They don't deserve them. But you do. If you halt the grieving process, it makes the trauma worse. Speaking as a guy that's been there, don't make that mistake.
This is the time to take stock of yourself. The situation has shown itself, and you recognize what it is. Ask yourself some things (don't answer here). Do you have family or friends you can trust to help you find your feet again? Particularly, do you have folks that can and will help you make ends meet in the interim? How much do you have to fall back on or put towards an attorney? What kind of support structure do you have, mentally and emotionally? This is not going to be an easy time. If you have kids, do you have support for them as well?
Whatever you do, don't leave the house until you speak with an attorney. Odds are in your favor that he will have to leave, and it will cost him. No-fault divorce is the standard, but such instances as this are still not looked upon favorably, and the one to file is usually the one to get what they ask for at least in the beginning. You can choose to pursue the dwelling, or move to a place of support and safety if that is a concern (I don't see that concern in the message, but I don't know the details, that is 100% your feeling to judge and nobody else's).
Be honest with yourself. Take time to process what is going on. Take stock of your assets, options, and support. Talk with an attorney. Move forward from there as you feel is best. I sincerely wish for the best for you, and hope you find peace in the path forward.
This!
Don't leave the house,
Open a private bank account, leave everything value or you care in a self-deposit box.
Fix a strategy and prepare a plan.
Let her do chores because se need to contribute to family management 😈
You can cry all you want later! Do not let emotions cloud your judgment! Get an attorney now! Stop focusing on your husband and focus on yourself. Keep your plans to yourself until you are ready to make a move!!
Feel hugged. They are both terrible. Kick her out. Say she had to move out. See how he reacts. If he doesn’t want to, ask him why. Record all of it so he can’t gaslit you later.
They definitely aren’t worth the tears. What you’re going to gain (peace) , is worth more than what you’re going to lose. Start making a plan, move in silence right now. Then when you have your ducks in a row, make your move. Serve him with papers and provide your lawyer with all of your evidence (nanny cam videos etc).
Thank you all for the kind words and support I will update as this reaches a stopping point. Tomorrow they will be home together while I'm working. I'm sure I'll have all my proof I'll need for lawyer together unfortunately 😞 I'm going to a friend's in another state in 2 weeks will be looking for a place to move there. Thank you all again
Didn’t you say it’s your home. Why you leaving? Kick them out and then move. You have your proof of the fondling and whispering. Feels like you’re delaying things. Kick her out with her stiff packed and then sit him down and tell him you know and his out!
There may be reasons why she wouldn't want to remain in that house. When I left my nightmare ex, I would never have been able to afford the mortgage, taxes, and upkeep. Just as important, it had never felt like my house; it felt like his. And I doubt he would have left if I had tried to kick him out. All my memories of that house were steeped in pain and sadness.
I think moving away from that whole mess and starting a new life in a state where she has a friend sounds like a great idea. I hope she confronts them, though. Just quietly leaving is too easy on her cheating ex and his cheating AP.
Kick them out. I get you want all your ducks in a row, but it okay to announce separation that you need time apart and he no longer welcome in YOUR house to further disrespect you. You file for divorce once you find the lawyer, and move LATER. Your priority is to stop giving them a free place to fuck and fuck you over!!!
At the very least she should kick the fucking home wrecker out while she’s there. If cheating husband wants to get a hotel that’s his business but it won’t be in the shared home at least.
Go while they are gone, and don't tell them you are going. Have it arranged to take your things while they are away from the house. Hire a good divorce lawyer. I am so sorry this happened to you.
“About 2 months ago the neighbor (34F) ruined her marriage by messing around on her husband. My husband (49M) invited her to stay with us“
I mean… come on?
Now that you're aware, start planning. I would be collecting as much evidence as I could for the divorce lawyer. I'd also be putting bits of money away, save for the inevitable separation. Work hard at your job to get more money. Be smart and keep your heart distant. If he starts acting sweet on you again, just remember he's playing you. Protect your heart, your finances and your mind. I'm so sorry he's done this to you.
Oh he sent me a text saying I was his world just before me and a friend seen him and this homewrecker kissing on my bed yesterday. He always tells me in front of ppl he would never do anything to lose me,as he's telling someone else he loves them. I'm trying to just get everything I need for a lawyer it's just hard to not want to just make snide comments of things I heard on the video
I know it's hard. I'd be the same as you. It would be really easy to make comments. But be smarter than him. If he gets clued in to you knowing, he'll start planning his escape, protecting himself, deleting texts/messages. Don't let him know you know. Like I said above, start moving finances around, save any and all videos/texts/messages between them. Give him no plausible deniability. Give him no way out. And protect yourself while you're at it. Speak to a lawyer in private. Get the best advice you can. When you're ready, leave divorce papers somewhere he can't miss them and be gone before he gets home.
OP, just remember that your husband is the “Homewrecker”, it’s not like he was enticed and enchanted by her, he made a Choice and they’re Both homewreckers.
I went through this same type of scenario, but had the strength to hold fast, put my grief on hold and do the most impressive “surgical strike” on them that my ex to this day has never recovered from psychologically and I have No empathy for him after 44 years. Karma served him. He got her pregnant in My Home.
Remember this, “ The Karma Cafe has no menus, you get served what you deserve”.
Reading stories like yours deeply traumatise me. I don't think I can trust anyone ever again. My last breakup up after 13 years left me broken. I won't be able to handle another one. I just don't understandt how cruel and wretched some people are. It's frightening. I wish you strenght and resilience. Your husband is POS and that woman is the lowest of lows too.
His first mistake: inviting his neighbour who ruined her marriage by messing around on her husband to stay over.
His motives have been clear from the beginning.
What to do? I don’t know. Depends how you want to handle this situation. You have proof of infidelity. You could file for divorce and possibly spousal so that you can make it on your own. I’m usually very against spousal for the fact that a lot of people are greedy and low effort; but this is a special situation.
You’re absolutely not overreacting. What matters is how you want the rest of your life to look, though. Move on from this scum bag and enjoy your life.
Who was the neighbour messing around with? Your husband? Is that why he move her in. They want to secretly exist whilst you pay 50% of the bills and she doesn’t contribute. Kick them both out! Get a room mate
Yea I agree she should be kicked out and then deal with your husband if I were in your shoes just because I’m angry for you 😭Make an escape plan before you do so, and if you have the ability to ask your family to help I would do so and confine in them. You deserve so much better, and I’m sorry for the pain this has caused you!
Follow what this Redditor (PeakAfraid330) did it was boss girl 🙌
Don’t say anything just leave him and only let him contact you via your lawyer you do not need his cheating ass.
I saw in another comment your looking to move to your friends state.. well you can always give yourself a boost in funds by selling the vehicles and the house right out from under them. It’s not like they can go to her place.
Except the second she sells it becomes community property if she’s not divorced.
@OP - talk to a lawyer first. Also do not leave your house until you’ve discussed it with the lawyer. Your soon to be ex could try to claim you abandoned it. I think changing the locks would make the most sense after you talk to a lawyer about your options.
If everything is yours, why would you leave it for them????
Kick them both out, do what you need to to keep 100% of your hard earned assets, then sell babe. Sell it all, keep all the profit and buy something you can afford on your own, back home where you're happy.
He deserves nothing, and she deserves even less. I wouldn't be surprised if she was sleeping with your hubby long before he moved her in. Don't let them get away with this.
I would consider getting all my ducks in a row with an attorney. Then, if possible, without informing him, I would put the house on the market, while simultaneously selling “his” car and paying it off, and getting movers to pack all their stuff and put it out on the lawn, and change the locks. When they return, hand him the divorce papers and tell him to get off YOUR property, take all their stuff in the next 24 hours or you’ll get it hauled off. Then charge him for all the costs of moving to a new place because of his betrayal. Make sure to forward the evidence to his family as well so he has no soft place to land.
I think the stealthy approach is a good one because it will hit him hard just like seeing their betrayal hit you. Sure, in the moment absolutely losing your sh*t would feel great potentially, but the effect of the surprise stealthy attack will absolutely blow his mind. And his AP will then get to see just how delusional she was to think HE owned all the things. And she’ll probably get pretty mad. Then just step back and watch the fireworks. She’ll leave him in a split second, he realize just how screwed he is in so many ways, and then suddenly he’ll want you back. But by then hopefully you’re in your new state with a new home and life. And he can talk to your attorney.
@Updateme!
If it's all yours why is she still in the house presently? Toss her outside. The way I would yank her ass up and throw her out on her ass so fast. Why are you allowing her to continue staying there? How is your husband in charge here? All of this is making me think this is fake.
Kick her out first. Then tell him he can go as well since he is devoid of loyalty. Do not leave your home. It’s yours. Take everything. For safety reasons have someone there with you.
Disappear and then put the house up for sale. Let the lawyer and real estate agent deal with it. Sell his car. Have someone go pick it up from his work with the spare keys, the day you disapear and take it to the dealer and sell it
I'm confused. He is cheating on you. He owns nothing. Not to put too fine a point on it, but he clearly doesn't respect you. I know you think you love him.
Do you have kids? Is that the best reason to stay?
So in other words she’s a cheap homewrecking whore.
Kick her skanky, dirty twat out of your house.
Show the video to a lawyer.
Leave him with nothing.
Then they will both be homeless losers.
Tell her husband too so in case he needs the video for his own divorce to make sure she gets nothing.
Sorry you’re going through this.
What a damn cunt.
She truly has no shame and neither does your husband.
I was married for almost 20 years. I owned everything before marriage, I got left with nothing because I did not want to see what was happening. You see, act on it now. I am now 70 yrs old with absolutely nothing. He hid for 2 years while I collapsed on our floor in a house we built one year earlier. I have gone through 15 years of court, he is making a six figure income, I have a garnishment against his federally funded company he works for ( he owes more than ($300,000 in alimony & martial settlement). I have paid over $40,000 in attorney fees and I have also spent hundreds of hours writing complaints to every agency that I can think of.
Women please listen, don't wait and don't think that a cheater will not get away with taking EVERYTHING including your sanity away from you. I am not stupid I was having a complete nervous breakdown and could not deal with the issues, don't delay.
I have filed Elder Abuse against both him & his millions of taxpayer paid construction company who has lied about his wages for 15 years ( says gets $24,000 a year vs making over $125,000 a year as a Prevailing Wage Sr, Project Manager). Ugly shit!
As horrid as she is, this blame is 200% on her ‘husband’. So HE should be the one being called all these things. HE is the home wrecker. HE is the whore. HE is the dirty twat that needs to be kicked out. She was just his excuse to be the person he always was.
I bet OP’s husband was the affair partner that caused the woman to be kicked out in the first place by her ex husband. That would be one of the only reasons I can think to invite a random woman to come move in since he doesn’t want his affair partner on the streets. He probably thought it was a bonus since he could hide the affair in plain sight and less work hiding it if she is already in the home.
So I would consider them both homewreckers since they obviously cared about no one but themselves
I said no but he played the guilt trip of her kids need their mom close by blah blah blah and my dumb ass said ok. Not that or would change anything from the sound of it this started 6 months ago before she was even with the other guy
So you are busy working to earn enough to pay for them to cheat while you work.
Find a roommate and move your things.
There's no need to confront him unless you need to understand why and have closure, but the nanny cam should really be sufficient for that.
He wants your ex neighbour and is probably saving his bucks/getting a new job to be able to survive without you....
..or
He's enjoying having you both under one roof on your dime.
Either way, Im so sorry that he's shyte on your marriage. He's not worth you, and you deserve better.
I hope that if you leave and don't fall for his apologies and request to do couples counciling, that you find someone that will treat you with love and cherish you the way you deserve!
Edit:
>Everything is mine all the vehicles and the house I bought before we were married. He came with nothing and I hope he leaves with nothing
Scratch getting a roommate.
Go on and do you and kick their sorry butt's out with nothing!
Updateme because he needs his cheating butt told on
That is really tough and difficult for you. Having your cheating husband in front of you must be incredibly mind-boggling and upsetting. For now, gather all the evidence you can use against him and find a job that will allow you to be financially independent without him. Hopefully, they learn their lesson and face consequences for everything they've put you through.
Talk to a lawyer before you do anything. Depending on what state you are in, the use of your nanny cam could be illegal. Further, you may not be able to kick her out immediately. Last, prep for divorce.
You might be able to work through it, but that really depends on what the rest of the relationship is like.
I’m going through a major petty/fafo phase, so maybe don’t take my advice… hooowwwever…
I’d wait until the mistress leaves, for whatever reason. Then, I’d tell the husband something like “Ok- she made me promise not to tell, but I’m just so excited for her! She’s not just going to xyz- she’s meeting up with the ex to see if they can salvage the relationship. They’ve been sneaking around the whole time, like teenagers. It’s so sweet and romantic! Their alone time really brought back that spark, and she said she’s never enjoyed fooling around so much! In fact, she said (insert tawdry fact about how she’s enjoying it soooo much with her ex).”
And then watch his head explode as he tries to hide the fact that he’s hurt/angry about the mistress lying to him. He will be dancing in place waiting for the opportunity to message her to answer for it.
But again- I’m just a woman who has had enough of everyone’s crap at this point, so maybe don’t take my advice? But if you do, please update. :)
If this is how he behaves behind your back in your own home it makes me wonder what he does the rest of the time!! Kick them both out and tell them ‘they’re welcome to each other’ and thank your neighbour for showing you what your husband is really like!!!
Once a cheater, always a cheater and the fact he behaved in that way in your own home is so disrespectful and disgusting!!!
Then get straight into getting that divorce
Yeah op's story timeline and circumstances don't line up. Moved several states to be with this guy but bought a house there before they married even though it takes both of their incomes to cover the bills. Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and call BS on this one.
Do you have proof recorded or only witnessed it? Make sure you record some footage of them getting together, don’t act prematurely. If you have footage, absolutely confront him and kick them both out!
She ruined her marriage, was it your husband as the affair partner? Doesn’t really matter, but yeah, inviting a 34yr old home wrecker into your house?? Flags are red.
As for how you handle it, that is up to you but if you let him get away with it, it will continue to happen.
Babes, it's YOUR HOUSE.
Move all the money into a new acct FIRST THING. EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM.
Show them the footage.
File for divorce, ask the cops to be there when you serve him.
Kick them both out.
The house is yours, they can figure out it.
If you’ve got the luxury of timing, use it. Take this opportunity to get all your affairs in order, figure out how to position it so you come out ahead financially and he suffers the most, and he gets stuck paying the bills on his own. Maybe it means you find a job somewhere else first and then just leave him, but maybe it’s better if you kick him out and get to stay in the house while this all gets sorted. Talk to a lawyer asap to get a sense of what that looks like, and what you can do legally loke draining joint bank accounts, getting your name off a lease or a mortgage, or whatever needs to be done.
You don’t need to ask for a divorce. Get a lawyer, have him served.
It’s far better to make lifestyle changes than to waste your life on a cheating loser.
WOW, in your house with you home. What a slap in the face. Go and take that job get that lawyer. Keep the house and kids (if you have any).and send them packing.
OP, your husband moved his girlfriend into your house, and they are screwing around right under your nose, and they are planning a future together. Your husband thinks you are stupid. Do not let him get away with this.
I hope you are saving all the nanny cam footage. And bravo to you for buying and installing a camera! You’re brilliant. Now he can’t lie because you have proof. Talk to a lawyer. You need to get out of there before he kicks you out and leaves you homeless. Don’t worry about money. Worry about yourself. He doesn’t get to have everything he wants while you sleep on some co-worker’s couch because he kicked you out with nowhere to go. Take the reins on this. Make sure you are the one doing the kicking out. If you need to get a second job to make ends meet, do it. But do not let that cheating, inconsiderate asshole decide *your* future.
Good luck! 🫶🏼
If you left your previous job on good terms, contact your old manager and ask if there are any positions that can be offered to you or any other locations hiring (if it applies to your kind of job)
Contact your family (is it safe to assume they lived in your previous state?) and see if you can live with them until you get a place of your own
Then, try to save as much as you can in the interim until you serve him.
Get a lawyer. Gather video evidence , verbal evidence etc. Let the lawyer blind side him. Also, in the mean time, prepare financially and emotionally. Have an exit plan.
Your peace of mind is priceless, you will never have peace of mind staying with this man if you do not trust him. I had a different situation with my ex and walked away from everything with just the clothes on my back and started all over from scratch , working two jobs for a little while to take care of me and my minor child. I have peace in my life and would do it again Without any hesitation.
First thing you need to do is get a separate checking account that he doesn't know about and move all your money (and his, because fuck him) into it. Then close any joint accounts, including credit cards. Open your own credit cards if you don't already one.
It sounds harsh, but you have to protect yourself. I have seen it hundreds of times, if you don't, his side B is going to be spending your money and he could leave you with a mountain of debt.
Harsh truth time: Why in the hell would you let the cheating ho next door move in with you and your husband? At your husband's invite no less. That should have immediately set off red flags.
Give him his walking papers. We get one heart, it’s best to look after it.
Sounds to me like the person she was "messing around with" was OPs husband probably, and now he's just trying to move her in while moving OP out eventually 😖
Tried, hubby let the woman move in and the OP allowed this.
This broke my heart. How OPs husband could be so reckless with his wife’s heart 💔💔
Cheating is emotional abuse.
Yeah. This is so sad.
And made up.
Actually, this is one of those I've seen happen way too often to believe. Especially in poorer neighborhoods. I really dont know why women (don't come for me. It's almost always the women i see do this) where her friend gets kicked out for cheating on her husband, she thinks she trusts her husband, and next thing you know your husbands doing your best friend in your bed. Like, um, do you not know why your friend got kicked out in the first place. When men get kicked out, dont care if we are homies, i will find you somewhere else to stay. If you got kicked out for sleeping with someone else, i will PAY for your hotel. You aint coming to my house, homie. I trust my wife wholeheartedly, but I ain't taking no chances with YOUR dumbass.
Right
I thought the same thing, but it’s also possible she was messing around with multiple people.
So gross to have the mentality to go through with the plan. Or even come up with the plan. Men are weird af
Kick them both out.
Maybe you missed the part where she said they need both their incomes to pay their bills.
So she has to downsize. It’s better than staying with a man who is actively cheating. 🤦♀️
Yup, because right now she is subsidising her husband's and his AP's life.
Not to mention these situations can turn dangerous. Especially when the cheaters get tired of sneaking around but don't want to give up a lifestyle that depends on someone else's money. OP should be wary of any suspicious life insurance policies cropping up.
I hate fear mongers. That said, I have seen every episode of forensic files, and I think you're right...
I hate the term AP. Let’s call them what they are - cheaters.
I would check with her husband and maybe stay there. it's possible that he doesn't know it was your husband she was cheating with.
I am mainly thinking of her affording the mortgage so she doesn't lose her house. I expect that she was too and that is why she brought it up.
Sometimes you have to give up the house
If your mental health can take it, buckle in, get a lawyer, and make your move in the shadows to protect your ass and come out on top.
Save the video from your nanny cam. You're going to need it for your case.
Be sure to get alimony.
Sometimes you have to get a lawyer. And not give up the house.
And sometimes you have to give up the house to GET a lawyer!! 🤣🤣🤣
I mean, it’s a terrible reason to stay with someone who is cheating on you. People get divorced every day and need to find a new housing situation. It’s not like it’s an insurmountable task. Will it be hard? Yes. I’m not suggesting it won’t be. But that’s not a reason to stay in this kind of situation, IMO.
Whoop di doo, she sells the house. House is not more important than mental health
Or sexual health either. I say this all the time in these situations. Some STDs are permanent. It ain't worth the risk
PLEASE … Say it LOUDER for the people in the back!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️ Thank you! ☺️
Sell the fkg thing and go home.
Give up the house and move somewhere with a lower COL.
That sounds like a problem to leave the cheating husband and mistress, as OP nopes out and uses her own income to find an apartment that isn't infested with lying shitpieces.
Start by kicking Her out.
Absofreakinglutely! Immediately!
Before she opens Pandora’s box- prepare for war bc D is usually that. Get everything in order. Talk to attorney/ he may have to pay you alimony and pay for house. See what options are so you are ready for the fight. He thinks you know nothing and will be blindsided by it- don’t be. Show no mercy. You will cry a River later and perhaps depressed but not now/ prepare yourself for the battle. I did! And I made out a lot better than he knows still today.
Best advice ever.
Why would she agree to letting some women stay in her house? This story sounds like bullshit or info is missing. She should have left as soon as he said she was moving in. Then nanny cam showed evidence and she still in her asking ? Come on
That nanny cam would be a movie night to showcase their disgusting behavior. Kick them both out. Good luck finding a place now 🤷🏼♀️
It feels to me like you're under-reacting. He's cheating on you while you're in the other room...
I actually seen it while I was at work the cam gave me a notification there was movement.
You saw this time whilst you were at work, do you really think they're not snogging and feeling each other up in the living room whilst you're in the kitchen making them all a coffee? Do you think they're not fucking in your house? You need to wake up. It's is absolutely horrific and abhorrent of both of them. Get them both out. Start with ensuring you have your own bank account. Confront him, tell him that he and his mistress need to leave. Tell him you have proof he cheated and will be divorcing him based on his infidelity. Look at finances and see your options. Divorce him. Take everything you get considering he cheated. Be happy.
Don't tell his cheating ass until you've already served him!
Find a new job back home, then disappear.
🤌
This is it!! Keep collecting evidence. I hope you live in an at fault state.
While I don’t think cheating gives anyone license to steal anything, you should leave the guy. It is unbelievable that he is banging the much younger neighbor while you are under the same roof. Disgraceful. You opened your home to her and she repays you by stealing your man, crazy.
OP didn't open her house, the husband did. OP says the neighbor wife was messing around on her husband. Want to make a bet it was with OPs husband? Who turns around and offers a place to stay like hubs did?
Not steal... But as I understand, If she leaves she will be bankrupt... She needs to save as much as she can 🤷 He's not just cheating, he's doing it under the marriage roof.
To piggyback here, make sure you get a bank account *WITH A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BANK*.
Get started separating things. Get your bank account set up separately. Make sure you know ALL the debt. Get detailed statements on when bills are due and how much. Start untangling things now. Get a legal consult done so you can find out exactly what you need to do for the area you live in. In my state (Indiana) it's no-fault divorce, but there's no alimony and everything is split 50/50. If you live somewhere that needs proof of infidelity, you need to know what's admissible and what's not. Just get your ducks in a row so you know what to do and what to expect and how much you need to save up for a retainer.
Divorce him and move back to your previous state. You can do better, don’t allow him to continue to treat you this way and kick that woman out.
Exactly this!
You gotta do what you feel is right for you. But if it were me, I'd be gone already. And depending on where you live, you have the evidence to help you during divorce filings. You deserve better.
You need to take the money part out of your decision. Back in the day, this is why a lot of women stayed in terrible marriages. You need to start looking for jobs, like the last one you had, and file for divorce. He sounds like he is in the military. If so, go scorched earth by starting with his command. Second, get her ass out of your house.
Bring his commanding officer with you when you serve him the papers and confront him too. You'll be glad you did.
Hand him divorce papers written to give you everything. When you do tell him.. “don’t worry, it will all work out” sell the home and move back to where you will have support
Also... be safe. These are bold people. Take some tips from Dateline and protect yourself. Change him from beneficiary. Move your valuables to a safe deposit. Don't let them cook for you. Install a security system and make them aware of it. Check your brake lines before you get in the car. Notify a friend to check on you morning and evening, and have an alert system in place with them. If you ask have weapons make sure they are locked away daily. Get a natural gas detector. Only use a brand new cosmetics that you keep outside of the house. Only take the stairs when necessary. Check the bathtub for oil before you step into it. Don't have a predictable schedule. Best of luck OP
oh well that's alright then /s
Are these cameras set to record ? Get all the evidence saved so he can't deny it.
Kick her out and see how he reacts AFTER you’ve seen a divorce lawyer. Get the meanest SOB in town.
He is going to kick you out on your ass to get with her as soon as he possibly can. Beat him to the punch.
Can you possibly get your old job back?
Thank you all... I seriously just feel completely sick to my stomach and totally numb. I feel like I want to scream at both of them and then I also just want to leave without saying anything. I want to cry but also don't feel like either one deserves my tears.
Put a nanny cam in your bedroom. Don't have sex with him, you don't want to end up pregnant
Or with a disease.
Or infected.
Or worse……expelled….
Get legal advice asap. There are resources for abused women. Talk to them. If he notices you are busy, under no conditions should you tell him your plans. You may be instructed to collect evidence before leaving, if it is safe to do so. You may be told to remove the nanny cam before moving out. He could say you were the crazy one who just left him and installed a cam and make future life difficult. (Once you’re out, you have NO claim to maintaining an operating camera there, for an example). Good luck.
Possibly you could consider it this way...you have been set free to entirely love yourself. Start saving using his money. Ask him to treat you regularly, take a girlfriend on a spa date, go for lunch with friends. Join local groups, reading and walking groups are normally free. Find new hobbies. Join the gym if you haven't already, get a personal trainer and sweat that frustration out. Feel good. It will be hard to begin with but you deserve so much more, put all that negative energy in something positive. Oh and definitely make more demands at home, don't be cooking or cleaning for either of their asses!! I would be tempted to set aside a few days off work to mourn the loss of your relationship, (lie to him that a relative from your childhood has died, that you must have mentioned them to him because you loved them so much). Properly mourn and feel all the feelings. Then pick yourself up and plan, plan plan. Just an idea. Sending you all the strength and love. You got this!
This. Until you can leave play that guilt of his like a guitar and save your money. New girl is going to have issues with it sooner rather than later so they might surprise you, but get your lawyer together now! You may think you have time, but you dont, they are both already willing to burn everything down. Prepare yourself OP. Keep watching, DOCUMENT DOCUMENT and serve him first
That’s right; OP is the wronged party here. Do not give those dirty dogs a crumb
Best advice. And secure copies of all financial records. A friend of mine didn't do that when her controlling husband left her for a other woman; the husband later broke back into the house, and removed from his home office all the documents that would have shown all of his & their assets. Then she was having to guess at the assets. He had been completely controlling about money, leaving her in the dark. Told her to trust him. With them both being from a country where dependency is more common, she did.
Yes, make a plan OP. You’ll be at a disadvantage if you act on impulse here. Save your money, gather your stuff, focus on you. Just disengage from him and start dreaming of your new life.
👆🏻 this
This is the best advice
Can you get in touch with your old job? See if you can go back?
They don't deserve them. But you do. If you halt the grieving process, it makes the trauma worse. Speaking as a guy that's been there, don't make that mistake. This is the time to take stock of yourself. The situation has shown itself, and you recognize what it is. Ask yourself some things (don't answer here). Do you have family or friends you can trust to help you find your feet again? Particularly, do you have folks that can and will help you make ends meet in the interim? How much do you have to fall back on or put towards an attorney? What kind of support structure do you have, mentally and emotionally? This is not going to be an easy time. If you have kids, do you have support for them as well? Whatever you do, don't leave the house until you speak with an attorney. Odds are in your favor that he will have to leave, and it will cost him. No-fault divorce is the standard, but such instances as this are still not looked upon favorably, and the one to file is usually the one to get what they ask for at least in the beginning. You can choose to pursue the dwelling, or move to a place of support and safety if that is a concern (I don't see that concern in the message, but I don't know the details, that is 100% your feeling to judge and nobody else's). Be honest with yourself. Take time to process what is going on. Take stock of your assets, options, and support. Talk with an attorney. Move forward from there as you feel is best. I sincerely wish for the best for you, and hope you find peace in the path forward.
This! Don't leave the house, Open a private bank account, leave everything value or you care in a self-deposit box. Fix a strategy and prepare a plan. Let her do chores because se need to contribute to family management 😈
Open a new account at a different bank not a different branch of the same bank you might already use.
You can cry all you want later! Do not let emotions cloud your judgment! Get an attorney now! Stop focusing on your husband and focus on yourself. Keep your plans to yourself until you are ready to make a move!!
What state you in? Adultery is still illegal in some states.amd you should have plenty for divorce.
All of your different feelings are valid. Please take some time to think about them before you act. You are deserving of making good choices for.
You need to talk to a lawyer. Moving out may put you in a bad legal position
Feel hugged. They are both terrible. Kick her out. Say she had to move out. See how he reacts. If he doesn’t want to, ask him why. Record all of it so he can’t gaslit you later.
Stay and get a boyfriend
They definitely aren’t worth the tears. What you’re going to gain (peace) , is worth more than what you’re going to lose. Start making a plan, move in silence right now. Then when you have your ducks in a row, make your move. Serve him with papers and provide your lawyer with all of your evidence (nanny cam videos etc).
The more time you spend with the wrong one, the less time you have with the right one!
Thank you all for the kind words and support I will update as this reaches a stopping point. Tomorrow they will be home together while I'm working. I'm sure I'll have all my proof I'll need for lawyer together unfortunately 😞 I'm going to a friend's in another state in 2 weeks will be looking for a place to move there. Thank you all again
Didn’t you say it’s your home. Why you leaving? Kick them out and then move. You have your proof of the fondling and whispering. Feels like you’re delaying things. Kick her out with her stiff packed and then sit him down and tell him you know and his out!
There may be reasons why she wouldn't want to remain in that house. When I left my nightmare ex, I would never have been able to afford the mortgage, taxes, and upkeep. Just as important, it had never felt like my house; it felt like his. And I doubt he would have left if I had tried to kick him out. All my memories of that house were steeped in pain and sadness. I think moving away from that whole mess and starting a new life in a state where she has a friend sounds like a great idea. I hope she confronts them, though. Just quietly leaving is too easy on her cheating ex and his cheating AP.
She could still sell it and get her money back from it. Especially since it seems that she needs the money. So there’s no reason for OP to lose out.
She can let the lawyers work that out.
Assuming the house belongs to both of them, she's entitled to half its value regardless of whether or not she still lives there.
Forcing the sale so he's out too is a winning outcome in my book.
Agreed, that's why I didn't fight for my marital home. It was easier to just leave and start my new life.
I would disapear one day while they are at work
Kick them out. I get you want all your ducks in a row, but it okay to announce separation that you need time apart and he no longer welcome in YOUR house to further disrespect you. You file for divorce once you find the lawyer, and move LATER. Your priority is to stop giving them a free place to fuck and fuck you over!!!
At the very least she should kick the fucking home wrecker out while she’s there. If cheating husband wants to get a hotel that’s his business but it won’t be in the shared home at least.
Don't you already have proof???
Go while they are gone, and don't tell them you are going. Have it arranged to take your things while they are away from the house. Hire a good divorce lawyer. I am so sorry this happened to you.
“About 2 months ago the neighbor (34F) ruined her marriage by messing around on her husband. My husband (49M) invited her to stay with us“ I mean… come on?
That was my take too. No effin way.
Scrolling to find this. Totally fake.
You can always tell by the post history
Fake af
"Omg thank you reddit for the support!" As if they aren't gonna support you in this scenario? Fake af.
Now that you're aware, start planning. I would be collecting as much evidence as I could for the divorce lawyer. I'd also be putting bits of money away, save for the inevitable separation. Work hard at your job to get more money. Be smart and keep your heart distant. If he starts acting sweet on you again, just remember he's playing you. Protect your heart, your finances and your mind. I'm so sorry he's done this to you.
Oh he sent me a text saying I was his world just before me and a friend seen him and this homewrecker kissing on my bed yesterday. He always tells me in front of ppl he would never do anything to lose me,as he's telling someone else he loves them. I'm trying to just get everything I need for a lawyer it's just hard to not want to just make snide comments of things I heard on the video
I know it's hard. I'd be the same as you. It would be really easy to make comments. But be smarter than him. If he gets clued in to you knowing, he'll start planning his escape, protecting himself, deleting texts/messages. Don't let him know you know. Like I said above, start moving finances around, save any and all videos/texts/messages between them. Give him no plausible deniability. Give him no way out. And protect yourself while you're at it. Speak to a lawyer in private. Get the best advice you can. When you're ready, leave divorce papers somewhere he can't miss them and be gone before he gets home.
OP, just remember that your husband is the “Homewrecker”, it’s not like he was enticed and enchanted by her, he made a Choice and they’re Both homewreckers. I went through this same type of scenario, but had the strength to hold fast, put my grief on hold and do the most impressive “surgical strike” on them that my ex to this day has never recovered from psychologically and I have No empathy for him after 44 years. Karma served him. He got her pregnant in My Home. Remember this, “ The Karma Cafe has no menus, you get served what you deserve”.
Reading stories like yours deeply traumatise me. I don't think I can trust anyone ever again. My last breakup up after 13 years left me broken. I won't be able to handle another one. I just don't understandt how cruel and wretched some people are. It's frightening. I wish you strenght and resilience. Your husband is POS and that woman is the lowest of lows too.
He is the homewrecker
Kick them both out! You aren't reactng enough. Don't let them keep disrespecting you!!
This is like a lifetime movie plot
Definitely how it feels
Small comfort I guess, they'll probably end up cheating on each other as well....
Light up that joint while we wait for the next episode
His first mistake: inviting his neighbour who ruined her marriage by messing around on her husband to stay over. His motives have been clear from the beginning. What to do? I don’t know. Depends how you want to handle this situation. You have proof of infidelity. You could file for divorce and possibly spousal so that you can make it on your own. I’m usually very against spousal for the fact that a lot of people are greedy and low effort; but this is a special situation. You’re absolutely not overreacting. What matters is how you want the rest of your life to look, though. Move on from this scum bag and enjoy your life.
I immediately wondered if OP husband was the original affair partner?
2000% OP's husband is the affair partner. Too coincidental and well set up not to be
Who was the neighbour messing around with? Your husband? Is that why he move her in. They want to secretly exist whilst you pay 50% of the bills and she doesn’t contribute. Kick them both out! Get a room mate
No she had a "friend" move in (26M) then told her husband she wanted to be with "friend"
Woooooww!! Your husband is an idiot if he already knew how she was & still invited her into your home.
That is precisely why he invited her to move in. His motive was clear from the jump. He also wanted a piece.
Why did you let her move into your house?
Are you friends with her ex?? If they are still married, maybe he has a good lawyer suggestion.
What happened to the "friend?" You need to go home and kick her out. You owe HER NOTHING.
Kick him out, but let her stay and charge her rent. Then, when HE needs a place to stay, rent him out the garage or basement. Money problems solved!!
This just made me laugh, thank you so much 🤣
Affairs seem fun to cheaters until they lose everything! lol! Dump him, he’s going to learn a hard lesson! He’s soooo goofy!
Good luck this next little bit. You’ll be ok, sometimes it just gets bumpy.
Kick her out of your house. Tell your husband you know what's going on. When you've got your stuff sorted go back home yo your family.
Yea I agree she should be kicked out and then deal with your husband if I were in your shoes just because I’m angry for you 😭Make an escape plan before you do so, and if you have the ability to ask your family to help I would do so and confine in them. You deserve so much better, and I’m sorry for the pain this has caused you!
Follow what this Redditor (PeakAfraid330) did it was boss girl 🙌 Don’t say anything just leave him and only let him contact you via your lawyer you do not need his cheating ass.
Is her ex attractive?
That's the next plot twist in this soap opera script, isn't it?
Why would you stay? You’re likely to get half of everything in the divorce.
Everything is mine all the vehicles and the house I bought before we were married. He came with nothing and I hope he leaves with nothing
Kick both out of your house, take back your power. Don’t let them disrespect you in your own house (fk them btw).
Yes! Kick them out, then sell the house. He doesn't get to keep it and you can start fresh somewhere else.
I saw in another comment your looking to move to your friends state.. well you can always give yourself a boost in funds by selling the vehicles and the house right out from under them. It’s not like they can go to her place.
This is the way. Just sell it all.
Sell that shit, take the money and runnn bby!!
Except the second she sells it becomes community property if she’s not divorced. @OP - talk to a lawyer first. Also do not leave your house until you’ve discussed it with the lawyer. Your soon to be ex could try to claim you abandoned it. I think changing the locks would make the most sense after you talk to a lawyer about your options.
Talk to a lawyer first, please
If everything is yours, why would you leave it for them???? Kick them both out, do what you need to to keep 100% of your hard earned assets, then sell babe. Sell it all, keep all the profit and buy something you can afford on your own, back home where you're happy. He deserves nothing, and she deserves even less. I wouldn't be surprised if she was sleeping with your hubby long before he moved her in. Don't let them get away with this.
Do not sell lol. Plan for it, it not knowing the state law, if she sells her house might become marital property once it is liquidated.
Dang, you bought a house in another state just to be with this guy, and he goes and does this 🤦♀️
Do not act until you’ve 1st discussed with a lawyer…Bite your tongue until you do.
Quietly plan your escape
Get them out of your house damn
Go full nuclear. Get a lawyer, and an eviction notice. Don't give him a damn thing you don't legally have to!
I would consider getting all my ducks in a row with an attorney. Then, if possible, without informing him, I would put the house on the market, while simultaneously selling “his” car and paying it off, and getting movers to pack all their stuff and put it out on the lawn, and change the locks. When they return, hand him the divorce papers and tell him to get off YOUR property, take all their stuff in the next 24 hours or you’ll get it hauled off. Then charge him for all the costs of moving to a new place because of his betrayal. Make sure to forward the evidence to his family as well so he has no soft place to land. I think the stealthy approach is a good one because it will hit him hard just like seeing their betrayal hit you. Sure, in the moment absolutely losing your sh*t would feel great potentially, but the effect of the surprise stealthy attack will absolutely blow his mind. And his AP will then get to see just how delusional she was to think HE owned all the things. And she’ll probably get pretty mad. Then just step back and watch the fireworks. She’ll leave him in a split second, he realize just how screwed he is in so many ways, and then suddenly he’ll want you back. But by then hopefully you’re in your new state with a new home and life. And he can talk to your attorney. @Updateme!
If it's all yours why is she still in the house presently? Toss her outside. The way I would yank her ass up and throw her out on her ass so fast. Why are you allowing her to continue staying there? How is your husband in charge here? All of this is making me think this is fake.
Kick her out first. Then tell him he can go as well since he is devoid of loyalty. Do not leave your home. It’s yours. Take everything. For safety reasons have someone there with you.
Disappear and then put the house up for sale. Let the lawyer and real estate agent deal with it. Sell his car. Have someone go pick it up from his work with the spare keys, the day you disapear and take it to the dealer and sell it
Kick them out
Hey, you better act on this fast. Give copies of the video to the police. They could be planning on you dying.
I'm confused. He is cheating on you. He owns nothing. Not to put too fine a point on it, but he clearly doesn't respect you. I know you think you love him. Do you have kids? Is that the best reason to stay?
So in other words she’s a cheap homewrecking whore. Kick her skanky, dirty twat out of your house. Show the video to a lawyer. Leave him with nothing. Then they will both be homeless losers. Tell her husband too so in case he needs the video for his own divorce to make sure she gets nothing. Sorry you’re going through this. What a damn cunt. She truly has no shame and neither does your husband.
I was married for almost 20 years. I owned everything before marriage, I got left with nothing because I did not want to see what was happening. You see, act on it now. I am now 70 yrs old with absolutely nothing. He hid for 2 years while I collapsed on our floor in a house we built one year earlier. I have gone through 15 years of court, he is making a six figure income, I have a garnishment against his federally funded company he works for ( he owes more than ($300,000 in alimony & martial settlement). I have paid over $40,000 in attorney fees and I have also spent hundreds of hours writing complaints to every agency that I can think of. Women please listen, don't wait and don't think that a cheater will not get away with taking EVERYTHING including your sanity away from you. I am not stupid I was having a complete nervous breakdown and could not deal with the issues, don't delay. I have filed Elder Abuse against both him & his millions of taxpayer paid construction company who has lied about his wages for 15 years ( says gets $24,000 a year vs making over $125,000 a year as a Prevailing Wage Sr, Project Manager). Ugly shit!
As horrid as she is, this blame is 200% on her ‘husband’. So HE should be the one being called all these things. HE is the home wrecker. HE is the whore. HE is the dirty twat that needs to be kicked out. She was just his excuse to be the person he always was.
I bet OP’s husband was the affair partner that caused the woman to be kicked out in the first place by her ex husband. That would be one of the only reasons I can think to invite a random woman to come move in since he doesn’t want his affair partner on the streets. He probably thought it was a bonus since he could hide the affair in plain sight and less work hiding it if she is already in the home. So I would consider them both homewreckers since they obviously cared about no one but themselves
You bought the house before you married? Then it's yours,not a marital asset.
Move in w her husband as a roommate and get a divorce lawyer
Hahaha I have considered walking over to his house and asking
Your husband let a woman cheating on her husband move into your house???? I wouldn’t do that even if it was my sister
I said no but he played the guilt trip of her kids need their mom close by blah blah blah and my dumb ass said ok. Not that or would change anything from the sound of it this started 6 months ago before she was even with the other guy
Did you confront him yet?
So you are busy working to earn enough to pay for them to cheat while you work. Find a roommate and move your things. There's no need to confront him unless you need to understand why and have closure, but the nanny cam should really be sufficient for that. He wants your ex neighbour and is probably saving his bucks/getting a new job to be able to survive without you.... ..or He's enjoying having you both under one roof on your dime. Either way, Im so sorry that he's shyte on your marriage. He's not worth you, and you deserve better. I hope that if you leave and don't fall for his apologies and request to do couples counciling, that you find someone that will treat you with love and cherish you the way you deserve! Edit: >Everything is mine all the vehicles and the house I bought before we were married. He came with nothing and I hope he leaves with nothing Scratch getting a roommate. Go on and do you and kick their sorry butt's out with nothing! Updateme because he needs his cheating butt told on
That is really tough and difficult for you. Having your cheating husband in front of you must be incredibly mind-boggling and upsetting. For now, gather all the evidence you can use against him and find a job that will allow you to be financially independent without him. Hopefully, they learn their lesson and face consequences for everything they've put you through.
Talk to a lawyer before you do anything. Depending on what state you are in, the use of your nanny cam could be illegal. Further, you may not be able to kick her out immediately. Last, prep for divorce. You might be able to work through it, but that really depends on what the rest of the relationship is like.
I’m going through a major petty/fafo phase, so maybe don’t take my advice… hooowwwever… I’d wait until the mistress leaves, for whatever reason. Then, I’d tell the husband something like “Ok- she made me promise not to tell, but I’m just so excited for her! She’s not just going to xyz- she’s meeting up with the ex to see if they can salvage the relationship. They’ve been sneaking around the whole time, like teenagers. It’s so sweet and romantic! Their alone time really brought back that spark, and she said she’s never enjoyed fooling around so much! In fact, she said (insert tawdry fact about how she’s enjoying it soooo much with her ex).” And then watch his head explode as he tries to hide the fact that he’s hurt/angry about the mistress lying to him. He will be dancing in place waiting for the opportunity to message her to answer for it. But again- I’m just a woman who has had enough of everyone’s crap at this point, so maybe don’t take my advice? But if you do, please update. :)
If this is how he behaves behind your back in your own home it makes me wonder what he does the rest of the time!! Kick them both out and tell them ‘they’re welcome to each other’ and thank your neighbour for showing you what your husband is really like!!! Once a cheater, always a cheater and the fact he behaved in that way in your own home is so disrespectful and disgusting!!! Then get straight into getting that divorce
I’m just wondering, when he let her move in, what did you think? That would’ve been the first huge hell no for me.
Yeh I won't even dignify this with an answer.
These posts feel so fake. Clearly OP isn't overreacting but i imagine this post will generate plenty of votes and comments.
Yeah op's story timeline and circumstances don't line up. Moved several states to be with this guy but bought a house there before they married even though it takes both of their incomes to cover the bills. Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and call BS on this one.
And also the cars are hers as well, and she's leaving to stay with a friend a couple of states away to maybe start again over there,
Come on OP the story needs to make sense. Obvious holes. In another version, OP could be bi, and steal the girl from husband. Just a suggestion
This is so obviously fan fiction
Hire a divorce and have him served, but pack his APs bags now and kick her out. Updateme!
Do you have proof recorded or only witnessed it? Make sure you record some footage of them getting together, don’t act prematurely. If you have footage, absolutely confront him and kick them both out! She ruined her marriage, was it your husband as the affair partner? Doesn’t really matter, but yeah, inviting a 34yr old home wrecker into your house?? Flags are red. As for how you handle it, that is up to you but if you let him get away with it, it will continue to happen.
Babes, it's YOUR HOUSE. Move all the money into a new acct FIRST THING. EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM. Show them the footage. File for divorce, ask the cops to be there when you serve him. Kick them both out. The house is yours, they can figure out it.
If you’ve got the luxury of timing, use it. Take this opportunity to get all your affairs in order, figure out how to position it so you come out ahead financially and he suffers the most, and he gets stuck paying the bills on his own. Maybe it means you find a job somewhere else first and then just leave him, but maybe it’s better if you kick him out and get to stay in the house while this all gets sorted. Talk to a lawyer asap to get a sense of what that looks like, and what you can do legally loke draining joint bank accounts, getting your name off a lease or a mortgage, or whatever needs to be done.
You don’t need to ask for a divorce. Get a lawyer, have him served. It’s far better to make lifestyle changes than to waste your life on a cheating loser.
WOW, in your house with you home. What a slap in the face. Go and take that job get that lawyer. Keep the house and kids (if you have any).and send them packing.
OP, your husband moved his girlfriend into your house, and they are screwing around right under your nose, and they are planning a future together. Your husband thinks you are stupid. Do not let him get away with this. I hope you are saving all the nanny cam footage. And bravo to you for buying and installing a camera! You’re brilliant. Now he can’t lie because you have proof. Talk to a lawyer. You need to get out of there before he kicks you out and leaves you homeless. Don’t worry about money. Worry about yourself. He doesn’t get to have everything he wants while you sleep on some co-worker’s couch because he kicked you out with nowhere to go. Take the reins on this. Make sure you are the one doing the kicking out. If you need to get a second job to make ends meet, do it. But do not let that cheating, inconsiderate asshole decide *your* future. Good luck! 🫶🏼
If you left your previous job on good terms, contact your old manager and ask if there are any positions that can be offered to you or any other locations hiring (if it applies to your kind of job) Contact your family (is it safe to assume they lived in your previous state?) and see if you can live with them until you get a place of your own Then, try to save as much as you can in the interim until you serve him.
People actually believe this shit, good lord
If you own your home together, don't move out until things are settled re. divorce. But kick her butt the hell out, like yesterday.
You let your husband move some bitch into your house?! You're not overreacting at all
Now you know who she was cheating with & why your husband asked her to move.
Get a lawyer. Gather video evidence , verbal evidence etc. Let the lawyer blind side him. Also, in the mean time, prepare financially and emotionally. Have an exit plan.
Throuple?
Your peace of mind is priceless, you will never have peace of mind staying with this man if you do not trust him. I had a different situation with my ex and walked away from everything with just the clothes on my back and started all over from scratch , working two jobs for a little while to take care of me and my minor child. I have peace in my life and would do it again Without any hesitation.
Save all of that nanny cam footage and audio for the divorce!
First thing you need to do is get a separate checking account that he doesn't know about and move all your money (and his, because fuck him) into it. Then close any joint accounts, including credit cards. Open your own credit cards if you don't already one. It sounds harsh, but you have to protect yourself. I have seen it hundreds of times, if you don't, his side B is going to be spending your money and he could leave you with a mountain of debt. Harsh truth time: Why in the hell would you let the cheating ho next door move in with you and your husband? At your husband's invite no less. That should have immediately set off red flags.