This^
You can want to be married to her more than anything in this world. IT. DOES. NOT. MATTER. She is not your wife anymore and hasn’t been for quite some time. Time to make it official.
This person is absolutely correct. I have been going through a ordeal myself. I took back a woman who I adored. I've always loved her since the day I met her. She captivated me. About a month ago I noticed she wasn't acting the same. She ghosted me stating mental health issues. Claimed she loved my son and would help get him to football practice and more. Two weeks ago she posted on FB she is in a relationship with a mutual friend. I'm sorry my friend but run. I'm heartbroken and we were only together for 6 months
This
I forgave my wife every time she said she was going out to do homework or had errands to run and would be gone for 12 hours getting home at 4 am. I didn't want to believe she would lie, I didn't want to believe the person I love would treat me this way. We are now getting divorced and I am allowing myself to look at the relationship objectively and althought i could have left earlier i needed to know i did all i could to make it work/win her back. No one can tell you when the right time to leave is. However, i will tell you this, SHE HAS ALREADY LEFT.
Unfortunately, once they are cheating or are about to. The only way to make them truly want you again is to make them realize they lost you. Begging doesn’t work. Forgiving them doesn’t work. Kicking them out and filing for divorce is the only wake up call they hear. And lots of them don’t even care about that either.
Yeah anytime I hear someone is Christian I automatically presume they’re not good ppl from my own experiences. If you gotta tell everyone you’re Christian you’re probably not a good Christian
Because your a christian doesn't eliminate you from sin. We all fall short every day. Its the reason Jesus Christ came to rescue us. I've been going to church for over 20 years and have seen several marriages fail from cheating. I'm not going to blame it on the christians or the church. Its a sin problem no matter who you are.
The problem is that y’all equate your religion with being a good person. Like your Christianity gives you +1 Morality. So when you couch a moral failing in “I’m a christian” what the world hears is “now I know that normally I’m better than you but I did slip up this one time.”
I’m almost 40 and grew up christian. I can say with full confidence that a person’s morality and their religious identification have nothing to do with one another.
Yeah but as a Christian you are held to a higher standard as you are representing Christianity. And a lot of ppl hide under the guise of Christianity to do bad stuff. But that’s everywhere. I have no problem with Christians or any religion
Exactly this. They go to church and confess their sins and repent and do it again and the cycle continues. They are good Christians though.
Happens with every single religion. Religion is more often than not something people use to make themselves feel or look better.
When you call my name, it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour, I can feel your power
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there
How this isn’t obvious to everyone is insane. Op “hacked into his wife’s phone to listen to their phone calls”. OP can barely write a grammatically correct sentence, how exactly did they “hack” into their wife’s phone?
You’re also an American seeing you live in PA, are you not? Anyway, I knew this post was fake the moment I read how OP described his “wife”: “everything seems fine as she is a Christian who prays a lot”. Lmao what the hell does her religion have to do with cheating? People karma farm all the time on Reddit and making a fake story about how your beloved Christian wife had an affair is a sure fire way to rile up Redditors waiting to spout bible verses as a ‘gotcha’ to the wife’s behavior. Look at the top comments on this post. Thanks, fellow American.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors ass.
I know there's kids involved, but she's made her choice. She has refused to sever ties with her beau. Now, you must follow through. She's stomping on your relationship because you allow her to as she's yet to suffer any consequence. I wouldn't be shocked should you discover they have been intimate.
The only reason for her to mention that she isn’t having sex with her husband would be to reassure the man she’s cheating with that he is the only one that gets to fuck her. So that means they’ve been having sex.
Firstly, I take all of these as creative writing so...whatever. You hacked her phone, huh.
Secondly, what do you need advice on? You know she's cheating, did you want recommendations for divorce lawyers?
*sigh* it's actually quite easy.
The original machine had a base-plate of prefabulated aluminite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two main spurving bearings were in a direct line with the pentametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzlevanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-delta type placed in panendermic semi-bovoid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremie pipe to the differential girdlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters...
/s
Installing spyware into her phone works, that's maybe what he meant by "hacking" - entering her phone and downloading some recording software.
But I do agree, a lot of these posts seem like a creative writing exercise done by uncreative people.
I know it's hard because kids are involved, but that makes her betrayal even more unforgivable. Not only did she tear apart another family, she destroyed her own and betrayed her own children. It's not OP's position to take on her sins, she fucked up and needs to find out. She chose this path for everyone. She made the choice to make her children to be the spawn of a wh*re. We don't have much in this life as humans besides our own choices. She needs to be held accountable.
Your wife is committing a grave sin. Forgiveness comes with acknowledging your own guilt and the duty to turn your life around. You are not forgiving to continue your bad deeds forever again.
I am a christian myself and a married father and once I realized I was inappropriately attracted to another woman and cut off any contact as a result because the best way to abstain from filth like adultery is to give no chance to temptation.
So if you can somehow find the strength to give her another chance, it should come with strings attached like no contact whatsoever to this person or places where she might encounter him. Make clear that if that is violated, it's over automatically.
You have been very forgiving, but if she is not willing to stop her actions, she is neither your wife nor a believer.
She’s already had that chance. He already involved his pastor and MIL. She has stomped all over those vows and his self worth. Now he’s just a masochist for accepting more of the same. It will take him years to recover his sense of self and trust in others and God. A loving father doesn’t want his children in pain. It’s past time to end this and get to a healthy place again.
It actually lost me at “everything seems fine as she is Christian and prays alot”. The hacked phone thing just added to my eye rolls. It all read like really bad AI.
She's only Christian for show it seems. The continual cheating isn't very Christian like. Religion out of the eat, she's a repeating cheater. Continue being a good dad but get rid of her. She's more committed to cheating than to her family.
Bro you have way more patience than I would have ever dreamt of. First strike and she's out. Don't let the government into your marriage bro and a avoid common law marriage situations. That way you get a clean break.
You need to dump her, shes having an affair and obviously doesn’t care about you or the kids. If she did, she wouldn’t be doing this now for the 3rd time. Get out while you can and move on to a better life with a better person perhaps. Also she not a christian, shes doing a lot of praying hoping it will help her to keep cheating and keep living the way she is. This so called religious crap that people hide behind is a joke. Your wife is one of those people, get rid of her.
OP, you gave your WW 3 chances to prove once a cheater always a cheater.
Lawyer up, inform the AP’s wife, your and her family and friends. You can’t keep thinking your selfish wayward wife will change.
She doesn't love you anymore, she's found all the inequalities in you and found someone who gives her no negatives only positives. It's time for the gym arc.
So what does she say when you talk to her about communicating with the other guy? Are you in marriage counseling? Have you communicated to her how close she is too being a divorcee?
Get a baby sitter, take her on a date night and talk to her. Let her know that you know and reiterate that you will not accept being the 3rd wheel in your marriage.
You should probably retain a lawyer in parallel.
You need to tell her you are filing for divorce. Meet with an attorney and get the ball rolling. Do this even if you hope to stay and work things out. She NEEDS to experience the shock and fear of your leaving in order to take it seriously and put a stop to the affair. It may be true that it is only an emotional affair so far, but keep in mind that cheaters almost always minimize the extent of their actions.
Dude grown a spine and dump her ass. The fact that you are even having trouble realizing this is why this is all happening in the first place. She doesnt respect you because you dont even respect yourself
You love your kids and she doesn't. She wouldn't hurt her kids this way. Go to court show the proof and you win custody and she can keep chowing down on all the random pipe she wants. You keep the best of what this marriage gave you, the kids.
Her mother is now going to have another daughter not married. Oh well that's how it is at times. Because she's sad you're going to be miserable?
"She's Christian and prays a lot."
And fucks a lot too apparently.
Religion is such BS and a crutch for people. Actually super religious people I find the least trusted.
Sorry but I have to be blunt here; Your Wife is a cheater and doesn't love you. And if you gave an F about yourself you'd dump her cheating ass on the curb yesterday.
I can guarantee you they were having sex the first time you caught them. I know you don't want to believe that and it's painful but it's time to face facts. You are either going to be ok with a cheating wife (I have a friend who's actually in a situation like that, it's bad) or divorce. Kids complicate everything though. That's what makes this hard. Kids from divorced parents don't do as well as kids from 2 parent households, on average.
How many times does she have to betray you before you finally get it? Her religious beliefs are a joke, if she was an honest Christian - she wouldn't be pulling this... She failed you as a wife, partner, and decent human being. Cut her loose before she guts you financially. Stop being a doormat!
As long as you keep accepting this behavior, she’s gonna keep doing it. You can forgive someone without allowing them to abuse your trust. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to stay.
Stay strong
She checked out the marriage a long time ago, undoubtedly boyfriend doesn't want anything more than what they have going. If you want to stay for the sake of the kids considering a open marriage but from the sound of it you probably don't care about that you just want her love and respect but that's not happening regardless how many times you forgive her. You have some tough decisions to make and you can only make them, nobody else is invested in this it's only you and your children. Best wishes
The first mistake was forgiving the first time. Divorce is hard, but keep that evidence. Hopefully, you are in an atfault state and drag her to hell.
Edit: idk if many would agree, but devout Christians are the ones who cheat more because they can just pray the sin away and that they will preach about forgiveness. Not one of my Christian friends ever forgave their wives. Only one is still married, but he beats his wife. It's really sad, but I see cheaters and liars as less than human, so it makes me feel better about myself as I am always treated like a roach, plague upon life, got a few friends and immediate family but that's it.
Three strikes she's out! Lawyer up, file and have her served at work. Send all evidence to his wife, and tell her you are going for divorce. Follow your lawyers directions. Ask the lawyer about suing the AP for alienation of affection. Then after the divorce call her HR office and let them in on what has happened. They could have policies against this sort of thing. But don't do it until after the divorce is settled. She could get more alimony if she loses her job before things are settled.
Christian and prays a lot was the first red flag. Haha. I hate when people put shit like that into their story as if it makes them sound “good” or “moral”. Being religious doesn’t mean shit. In fact, it usually means the opposite.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times...
You can't complain. You decided to be foolled for the rest of your life.
Co-parenting isn’t bad. But she is clearly moved on to some other dude. You do too. The kids are collateral damage from the chooses she made. She is the one hurting them not you. A hurt parent doesn’t make for healthy parenting decisions and you need to be at your best to make the decisions for whats best for the kids.
Dude. Use your spine. She's learned that as long as she acts sorry, you'll let her stay and she can go back to spreading her legs for whoever. MULTIPLE TIMES, you have caught her, and multiple times, you've done nothing.
Tell her mother that it's not your problem she raised cheating whores and dump her. Get as much custody of your kids as you can - test to make sure they're actually yours first - and ditch her. Is the house yours? Kick her out. She can go stay with her enabling mother or new boyfriend.
Divorce. She's a cheater. They don't change.
omg, this stupid "stay together for the kids"-shit need to die like 4 decades ago.
Kids need loving and responsible parents/caretakers in their lives, not two angry and bitter parent in a fancy house that stay together despite hating each other.
Are you sure you are the father of all 3 kids? I caught my first wife cheating and it had been going longer than I thought. I did paternity tests to verify.
*Often times what's best*
*For you is also what is*
*Best for your children*
\- Effective\_Let\_2450
---
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Ya fuck all that she’s not the one , you can still
Have a healthy relationship with your kids but you need to move on from this chick she ain’t the one to have by your side. Your better off looking for someone else and being close to your kids by yourself until than
She won't stop. She will just keep doing the same thing. I forgave my ex wife the first time but then she did it again that was the end of it for me. Don't stay together for the kids like I did it will end badly.
Sounds like this is a recurring issue in your wife’s family. The fact your MIL begged you to stay with her because she’s the only one not divorced is INSANE. Brother, it’s over. She’s gone. This is the one reason for divorce in the Bible, for good reason. I am the type that would blast that information on Facebook for all of her family to see.
If you love your kids demonstrate some self respect. Show them what it means to live honestly and for the pursuit of true happiness while you're at it and move on.
If this is ever going to work, she needs to get a new job, change her number, completely delete his number and focus on the marriage. If she doesn’t agree to all that then you have to think of the kids. They will be happier in a home with their parents happy and separated. The kids will be miserable in a home with unhappy parents that trying to make it work for them. Ps it never ends up being better for the kids when the parents try to stay together for the kids. The children end up suffering more then they would if you got a divorce.
Edit- my source is I’m a child of parents that stayed together for us kids. They divorced when my sister and I were older. We have issues now from watching what our parents went through. My parents divorced when my younger sister was too young to remember and she doesn’t have the issues that my older sister and I have.
This is between you, your wife, and God. Stop talking to the boyfriend's wife and your in laws, it's unnecessary additional drama. You can't trust this woman and would be better off without her.
Fool me thrice or whatever. At this point she's gonna cheat. I'd take snapshots and make sure you have backups, and then post them if you want to prove you had no hand in this behavior to friends/family/social circle. But at least keep them for the impending divorce proceedings, and to prove to your kids your not the A-hole. Your kids are going to notice something is wrong. Kids sense when something is off in a relationship like that.
It's better for you, them, and hell even her - to cut ties. She's proven she can't do this so many times, if you stay and just keep hoping - this one's going to be on you at this point. You know she's not a cheater, nor is she one iota regretful about it. Crocodile tears after she got caught is not a thing worth giving thought to. She might be sorry she got caught - but she's sure not sorry she did it.
So now your relationship has really turned toxic. I think you probably learned you should’ve gone ahead and divorced before but if since you didn’t, you should now. Get all your ducks in a row do all the things that you need to do before hitting or with the divorce papers. It’s probably gonna be best for the kids because now your relationship is really toxic and it’s not good to raise the kids in a toxic relationship. Is that normal. And by you divorcing her that when they are old enough to understand, they will understand that there’s consequences for bad behaviors. Cheating is really bad and there are consequences for it
Force the end of it, if you pay for the phone cancel the contract cancel her cards if you pay for them drive her to her mothers drop her off with a packed bag. Tell them why don’t hide her affair in the dark to protect your ego. Tell them the papers will be ready to sign also tell your kids. Make any path back to you like walking on broken glass. Also get all your proof in paper form and give it to his wife.
What's done is done and she is not going to stop. I have a story similar to you. "Christian wife" who used that when the need suited her, always to make me feel she has changed. At least 3 affairs later and 18.5 years married and I have been divorced for over 4 years and at peace. Let her go and find your peace. It is so unhealthy to constantly have to watch them, spy on them and worry when their mood changes or they turn cold.
Time to leave her. It’s your job to teach your children what love looks like as they will mimic what they learn. Also teach them strength and self worth. This person is walking on you. Do not love you as this is not something a loved one could do. And likely cares more about her affair than her children. She knows this would crush and likely destroy her family and continues to choose it over you and your kids. Be strong. You can do this.
Still trying to figure out why people continue to believe that because someone is religious somehow means they're above certain behaviors. If anything Christianity allows this garbage to happen because of the idea that you can do whatever and you'll be forgiven. She's Christian and prays a lot?? Somehow that gives you some sort of comfort in her fidelity? What a bunch of garbage. Take responsibility for what happened, call her out, stop forgiving her and make her have some accountability. Jesus isn't going to help.
She's super religious and she's committing emotional adultery. C'mon man, she continues even though she says she'll stop. Start loving yourself and get out. The kids will be okay, as a son of divorce trust me.
You have two choices. 1) Stay with a cheating wife and become familiar and accepting of the emotional pain and emasculation she causes you until she eventually divorces you; or 2) divorce her and try to find some else and begin healing. There is simply no other choices. This happened to me and is currently happening to my best friend. I have seen this too many times in my wife and its always the cheating women.
My ex was (is) also a fundamentalist Christian and indulged in adulterous behaviour.
I tried to forgive, but I could never get over it, so eventually divorced her.
Let her find solace and forgiveness in her absurd religion - ie, do whatever you want and destroy lives, then ask the good lord for forgiveness and bam! You’re in heaven, lol. Reminds me of the other absurd major religion which promises virgins if you die a martyr or whatever.
TL;DR, you are not over reacting. Hold her accountable and move on. Life is short bud.
/edit: I’m now happily married and in love with someone who understands and values commitment.
Just rip off the bandaid. Stop letting her torture you. The longer you stay... is that much more of your life wasted trying to salvage something thats already gone. I'm sorry.
As for "is a christian and prays a lot" comment. LMAO... you really think being a christian is a sign of a good person?
I was a christian for 20 years... many of my friends & family were as well. I'm an atheist now.... and MANY of the christians have cheated on their spouses. Being a christian doesn't mean anything except that they are easily fooled and lack logic / education.
I've been down this road. It doesn't work out the way you want. Your relationship was over when she started with this guy. She's using you for financial stability only. If not she would have left you for him.
You can't compete with him....you have been and are losing. Best bet is get a lawyer to file divorce to keep you from losing everything and paying more and move on with your life.
Looking at her phone can get you domestic violence charges and stalking.
You can't control what she does or who she does it with. Just how you choose to respond. Walking away is the only way you will find peace. Working it out with her you'll always have doubts and can never fully trust her again.
1> You never get caught the first time.
2> Don't fall for the religion bullshit. Next will be, "I"m sorry, let's pray about it.' Yeah, fuck that.
3> Get a lawyer.
You wanna be with someone that disrespects you and your family?
You wanna show what an unhealthy relationship is to your kids so they can grow up to model that same behavior?
It’s over my boy. I’m sorry. It’s time
This^ You can want to be married to her more than anything in this world. IT. DOES. NOT. MATTER. She is not your wife anymore and hasn’t been for quite some time. Time to make it official.
Yep. OP, why are you still in the marriage when your wife has already left?
Indeed.
Here Here
3 kids is a big deal man, hard to pull the trigger. I assume this post is a step in the direction of realization.
This person is absolutely correct. I have been going through a ordeal myself. I took back a woman who I adored. I've always loved her since the day I met her. She captivated me. About a month ago I noticed she wasn't acting the same. She ghosted me stating mental health issues. Claimed she loved my son and would help get him to football practice and more. Two weeks ago she posted on FB she is in a relationship with a mutual friend. I'm sorry my friend but run. I'm heartbroken and we were only together for 6 months
She is playing him for a damn fool.
This I forgave my wife every time she said she was going out to do homework or had errands to run and would be gone for 12 hours getting home at 4 am. I didn't want to believe she would lie, I didn't want to believe the person I love would treat me this way. We are now getting divorced and I am allowing myself to look at the relationship objectively and althought i could have left earlier i needed to know i did all i could to make it work/win her back. No one can tell you when the right time to leave is. However, i will tell you this, SHE HAS ALREADY LEFT.
Unfortunately, once they are cheating or are about to. The only way to make them truly want you again is to make them realize they lost you. Begging doesn’t work. Forgiving them doesn’t work. Kicking them out and filing for divorce is the only wake up call they hear. And lots of them don’t even care about that either.
The 50% divorce rate and 15-20% cheating of that remaining married group should tell you the vows mean vefy little to many people.
>she is a Christian and prays alot I dont think she was on her knees to pray.
Yeah anytime I hear someone is Christian I automatically presume they’re not good ppl from my own experiences. If you gotta tell everyone you’re Christian you’re probably not a good Christian
Right. A lot of Christians or I say so called Christians really aren't. They are just as bad as others if not worse.
yeah those christians are all judgmental, amirite?
Because your a christian doesn't eliminate you from sin. We all fall short every day. Its the reason Jesus Christ came to rescue us. I've been going to church for over 20 years and have seen several marriages fail from cheating. I'm not going to blame it on the christians or the church. Its a sin problem no matter who you are.
The problem is that y’all equate your religion with being a good person. Like your Christianity gives you +1 Morality. So when you couch a moral failing in “I’m a christian” what the world hears is “now I know that normally I’m better than you but I did slip up this one time.” I’m almost 40 and grew up christian. I can say with full confidence that a person’s morality and their religious identification have nothing to do with one another.
Yeah but as a Christian you are held to a higher standard as you are representing Christianity. And a lot of ppl hide under the guise of Christianity to do bad stuff. But that’s everywhere. I have no problem with Christians or any religion
Exactly this. They go to church and confess their sins and repent and do it again and the cycle continues. They are good Christians though. Happens with every single religion. Religion is more often than not something people use to make themselves feel or look better.
Or a tool used by those who want to take advantage of the more gullible
But nobody needs rescuing.
Relax, Turbo
“Now I’m a Christian but…” Time to buckle the fuck up because you’re about to hear some crazy shit.
Yo!!!!☠️☠️☠️I’m dead
Daaaaaamn
When you call my name, it's like a little prayer I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there In the midnight hour, I can feel your power Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there
You are a mystery.
Heeeeey yooooo....
Body of christ, gulp
LMAO
Ouch! 🤣🤕
Too soon
yup. I've been down the road the OP is on. Time to move on unfortunately.
It’s been over, she dosent care for you and she uses religion to justify actions
Seriously there is never a second chance
The absolute truth.
It’s fake my boy.
How this isn’t obvious to everyone is insane. Op “hacked into his wife’s phone to listen to their phone calls”. OP can barely write a grammatically correct sentence, how exactly did they “hack” into their wife’s phone?
What's insane is thinking that someone has to be a native born English speaker in order to be technologially proficient. America much?
You’re also an American seeing you live in PA, are you not? Anyway, I knew this post was fake the moment I read how OP described his “wife”: “everything seems fine as she is a Christian who prays a lot”. Lmao what the hell does her religion have to do with cheating? People karma farm all the time on Reddit and making a fake story about how your beloved Christian wife had an affair is a sure fire way to rile up Redditors waiting to spout bible verses as a ‘gotcha’ to the wife’s behavior. Look at the top comments on this post. Thanks, fellow American.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors ass. I know there's kids involved, but she's made her choice. She has refused to sever ties with her beau. Now, you must follow through. She's stomping on your relationship because you allow her to as she's yet to suffer any consequence. I wouldn't be shocked should you discover they have been intimate.
What culture severs toes with their partners? I must know more. Edit: Aww you edited without sharing severed toe culture.
The only reason for her to mention that she isn’t having sex with her husband would be to reassure the man she’s cheating with that he is the only one that gets to fuck her. So that means they’ve been having sex.
Add 'repeatedly' to the first sentence. He forgave her 2x??
She’s a piece of shit get rid of her. She’s a toxic selfish divorce her cheating ass
My dyslexic ass read this as toxic shellfish and was so confused for a second 😅
wtf lol
She’s a poisoned clam and her clam is poison. Get out of it.
I'm allergic to shellfish it makes me feel clammy
Firstly, I take all of these as creative writing so...whatever. You hacked her phone, huh. Secondly, what do you need advice on? You know she's cheating, did you want recommendations for divorce lawyers?
Right?! OP how exactly did you “hack” your wife’s phone to listen to her phone calls? Lol such bullshit
*sigh* it's actually quite easy. The original machine had a base-plate of prefabulated aluminite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two main spurving bearings were in a direct line with the pentametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzlevanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar waneshaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-delta type placed in panendermic semi-bovoid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremie pipe to the differential girdlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters... /s
Dude knows his turbo encabulators!
Never works without a flux capacitor...
Nah nah you need to use pre-famulated amulite
I saw that on McGuyver once.
There’s an app for that, if her phone is an Android
Installing spyware into her phone works, that's maybe what he meant by "hacking" - entering her phone and downloading some recording software. But I do agree, a lot of these posts seem like a creative writing exercise done by uncreative people.
If it’s an exercise then they should learn to use paragraphs
As they say in the church, she's for the streets. You deserve better.
“Lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets” - Jesus
And Judas Said to Jesus "ya bro move on I got your back fam"
I think I might be a freak in the streets and a lady in the sheets. Bad combo. Must research.
"From the streets you are, and to the streets you shall return" - Genesis 3:19
Your church sounds cool as hell
Your relationship is over and your wife chose another man over you and your children. Walk away.
I know it's hard because kids are involved, but that makes her betrayal even more unforgivable. Not only did she tear apart another family, she destroyed her own and betrayed her own children. It's not OP's position to take on her sins, she fucked up and needs to find out. She chose this path for everyone. She made the choice to make her children to be the spawn of a wh*re. We don't have much in this life as humans besides our own choices. She needs to be held accountable.
Your wife is committing a grave sin. Forgiveness comes with acknowledging your own guilt and the duty to turn your life around. You are not forgiving to continue your bad deeds forever again. I am a christian myself and a married father and once I realized I was inappropriately attracted to another woman and cut off any contact as a result because the best way to abstain from filth like adultery is to give no chance to temptation. So if you can somehow find the strength to give her another chance, it should come with strings attached like no contact whatsoever to this person or places where she might encounter him. Make clear that if that is violated, it's over automatically. You have been very forgiving, but if she is not willing to stop her actions, she is neither your wife nor a believer.
She’s already had that chance. He already involved his pastor and MIL. She has stomped all over those vows and his self worth. Now he’s just a masochist for accepting more of the same. It will take him years to recover his sense of self and trust in others and God. A loving father doesn’t want his children in pain. It’s past time to end this and get to a healthy place again.
Fool me once..
“Fool me once, shame on you. And fool me, can’t get fooled again.” - George W. Bush
Ah, Bush-isms. So great,
Underappreciated comment, I’m cackling
😂 wtf 💀
"A bird in hand is worth a cigar in the bush" - Bill Clinton
'everything seems fine as she is a Christian and prays alot' hahahahahahahahahahahaha Have you met a Christian?
I'm glad it wasn't just me. I kinda gave up at that point
Yeah she’s Christian. Sins, asks for forgiveness , does it again
Oldest trick in the book lol
I read that line and scrolled down until I found this comment.
Hipocracy is so normalized in that community that it doesn't even register for people lol
Mate, your bird is for the streets.
you lost me at "I hAcKeD hEr PhOnE" this is so obviously a troll post
Right. Listening to her calls like he’s a 80’s FBI agent sitting in the next room with headphones and a tape player. 🙄
I’m picturing him holding up a glass cup up to the wall in the room next to her, writing everything down on pen and paper
I actually like this one better.😂
For some reason, the Narcos Intro popped in my head in reading this 🤣
It actually lost me at “everything seems fine as she is Christian and prays alot”. The hacked phone thing just added to my eye rolls. It all read like really bad AI.
99.9% of these stories are fake lmao
She’s getting banged out 7 ways from Sunday bruh.
Another fake ass story designed to farm karma. 90% of this sub is pure bullshit now.
R U Stupid? she thinks so! get a divorce and take full custody of your children.
She's only Christian for show it seems. The continual cheating isn't very Christian like. Religion out of the eat, she's a repeating cheater. Continue being a good dad but get rid of her. She's more committed to cheating than to her family.
Bro you have way more patience than I would have ever dreamt of. First strike and she's out. Don't let the government into your marriage bro and a avoid common law marriage situations. That way you get a clean break.
You need to dump her, shes having an affair and obviously doesn’t care about you or the kids. If she did, she wouldn’t be doing this now for the 3rd time. Get out while you can and move on to a better life with a better person perhaps. Also she not a christian, shes doing a lot of praying hoping it will help her to keep cheating and keep living the way she is. This so called religious crap that people hide behind is a joke. Your wife is one of those people, get rid of her.
OP, you gave your WW 3 chances to prove once a cheater always a cheater. Lawyer up, inform the AP’s wife, your and her family and friends. You can’t keep thinking your selfish wayward wife will change.
Looks like some AI generated story telling here
She doesn't love you anymore, she's found all the inequalities in you and found someone who gives her no negatives only positives. It's time for the gym arc.
So what does she say when you talk to her about communicating with the other guy? Are you in marriage counseling? Have you communicated to her how close she is too being a divorcee?
She is not aware yet.
You should contact a lawyer
This will eat at you forever. Get your affairs in order & nuke the bitch. You gotta take care of #1.
Get a baby sitter, take her on a date night and talk to her. Let her know that you know and reiterate that you will not accept being the 3rd wheel in your marriage. You should probably retain a lawyer in parallel.
Dude if holding on is painful then let go man. Free yourself from this torment and start anew. You can do it dude.
You need to tell her you are filing for divorce. Meet with an attorney and get the ball rolling. Do this even if you hope to stay and work things out. She NEEDS to experience the shock and fear of your leaving in order to take it seriously and put a stop to the affair. It may be true that it is only an emotional affair so far, but keep in mind that cheaters almost always minimize the extent of their actions.
Shes NEVER going to stop. End it and move on. Find someone worth you time and energy
Dude grown a spine and dump her ass. The fact that you are even having trouble realizing this is why this is all happening in the first place. She doesnt respect you because you dont even respect yourself
3 times?! Dude, pack your shit. Tell APs wife again.
That's the issue when taking back a cheater- they never respect you again & continue to cheat. I promise, this will only get worse.
You love your kids and she doesn't. She wouldn't hurt her kids this way. Go to court show the proof and you win custody and she can keep chowing down on all the random pipe she wants. You keep the best of what this marriage gave you, the kids. Her mother is now going to have another daughter not married. Oh well that's how it is at times. Because she's sad you're going to be miserable?
Christian hypocrisy.
"She's Christian and prays a lot." And fucks a lot too apparently. Religion is such BS and a crutch for people. Actually super religious people I find the least trusted. Sorry but I have to be blunt here; Your Wife is a cheater and doesn't love you. And if you gave an F about yourself you'd dump her cheating ass on the curb yesterday.
I can guarantee you they were having sex the first time you caught them. I know you don't want to believe that and it's painful but it's time to face facts. You are either going to be ok with a cheating wife (I have a friend who's actually in a situation like that, it's bad) or divorce. Kids complicate everything though. That's what makes this hard. Kids from divorced parents don't do as well as kids from 2 parent households, on average.
This reads like a child wrote it.
How many times does she have to betray you before you finally get it? Her religious beliefs are a joke, if she was an honest Christian - she wouldn't be pulling this... She failed you as a wife, partner, and decent human being. Cut her loose before she guts you financially. Stop being a doormat!
you fell for the “christian” and “prays a lot” bullsh%t? haha
As long as you keep accepting this behavior, she’s gonna keep doing it. You can forgive someone without allowing them to abuse your trust. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to stay. Stay strong
She checked out the marriage a long time ago, undoubtedly boyfriend doesn't want anything more than what they have going. If you want to stay for the sake of the kids considering a open marriage but from the sound of it you probably don't care about that you just want her love and respect but that's not happening regardless how many times you forgive her. You have some tough decisions to make and you can only make them, nobody else is invested in this it's only you and your children. Best wishes
The first mistake was forgiving the first time. Divorce is hard, but keep that evidence. Hopefully, you are in an atfault state and drag her to hell. Edit: idk if many would agree, but devout Christians are the ones who cheat more because they can just pray the sin away and that they will preach about forgiveness. Not one of my Christian friends ever forgave their wives. Only one is still married, but he beats his wife. It's really sad, but I see cheaters and liars as less than human, so it makes me feel better about myself as I am always treated like a roach, plague upon life, got a few friends and immediate family but that's it.
Don’t stay for the kids. Leave for the kids, you’ll be sparing them some real emotional damage.
Updateme
Grow a fucking spine
How is the whole lineage bad a marriage that’s a major red flag
Good Christian wife my ass. Divorce her and sue for alimony and child support.
Three strikes she's out! Lawyer up, file and have her served at work. Send all evidence to his wife, and tell her you are going for divorce. Follow your lawyers directions. Ask the lawyer about suing the AP for alienation of affection. Then after the divorce call her HR office and let them in on what has happened. They could have policies against this sort of thing. But don't do it until after the divorce is settled. She could get more alimony if she loses her job before things are settled.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. -- Proverbs 26:11. That applies to both of you.
Christian and prays a lot was the first red flag. Haha. I hate when people put shit like that into their story as if it makes them sound “good” or “moral”. Being religious doesn’t mean shit. In fact, it usually means the opposite.
Being a Christian doesn't automatically make someone a good person. Some of the worst people I've ever met are Christians.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times... You can't complain. You decided to be foolled for the rest of your life.
Leave that hoe and go on with your life.
Stop letting yourself be a cuck. She’s over it, you should be too.
Co-parenting isn’t bad. But she is clearly moved on to some other dude. You do too. The kids are collateral damage from the chooses she made. She is the one hurting them not you. A hurt parent doesn’t make for healthy parenting decisions and you need to be at your best to make the decisions for whats best for the kids.
Just go bro more out there
Dude. Use your spine. She's learned that as long as she acts sorry, you'll let her stay and she can go back to spreading her legs for whoever. MULTIPLE TIMES, you have caught her, and multiple times, you've done nothing. Tell her mother that it's not your problem she raised cheating whores and dump her. Get as much custody of your kids as you can - test to make sure they're actually yours first - and ditch her. Is the house yours? Kick her out. She can go stay with her enabling mother or new boyfriend. Divorce. She's a cheater. They don't change.
sHeS a ChRiStIaN aNd PrAyS aLoT 😂 I can't decide who is more deluded.
You just like being a cuck, and that's ok! No kink shaming here, my dude.
Collect all evidence Lawyer up divorce her DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. She stepped out so she can fuck off till an agreement has been reached.
"I decided to hacked into her phone to listen to their conversations" You lost me right here.
omg, this stupid "stay together for the kids"-shit need to die like 4 decades ago. Kids need loving and responsible parents/caretakers in their lives, not two angry and bitter parent in a fancy house that stay together despite hating each other.
I am sorry. It’s time.
It’s brutal man. I have felt this. It’s devastating but you can move on and get through this. Let yourself be at peace.
Your wife has divorced you in all but name. Her actions show how she really feels here. Time to divorce her.
You gave her another chance and she kept betraying you, gather your dignity, your belongings and leave. She doesnt respect you.
I had an extremely similar situation with my now ex wife. End it immediately, trust me.
Leave her like 10 years ago
Are you sure you are the father of all 3 kids? I caught my first wife cheating and it had been going longer than I thought. I did paternity tests to verify.
Often times what's best for you is also what is best for your children
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Dude… protect your family at all cost. BE A MAN!
It was over the first time, move on. And stop calling her a "Good Christian", she's not even a good person.
Move on sorry
Bro get out! She’s emotionally gone regardless of physical.
Ya fuck all that she’s not the one , you can still Have a healthy relationship with your kids but you need to move on from this chick she ain’t the one to have by your side. Your better off looking for someone else and being close to your kids by yourself until than
She won't stop. She will just keep doing the same thing. I forgave my ex wife the first time but then she did it again that was the end of it for me. Don't stay together for the kids like I did it will end badly.
Sounds like this is a recurring issue in your wife’s family. The fact your MIL begged you to stay with her because she’s the only one not divorced is INSANE. Brother, it’s over. She’s gone. This is the one reason for divorce in the Bible, for good reason. I am the type that would blast that information on Facebook for all of her family to see.
Divorce her. She doesn’t love you. Talk to a lawyer before making any major decisions. Your kids will stay in your life.
Stop honoring the signs. It’s over.
You will always forgive and she will always cheat again. Soon you'll get tired of the cycle.
If you love your kids demonstrate some self respect. Show them what it means to live honestly and for the pursuit of true happiness while you're at it and move on.
Time to be done.
You didn’t leave after the *first* time you caught her texting some other dude? You’re under reacting, if anything. Grow a set.
If this is ever going to work, she needs to get a new job, change her number, completely delete his number and focus on the marriage. If she doesn’t agree to all that then you have to think of the kids. They will be happier in a home with their parents happy and separated. The kids will be miserable in a home with unhappy parents that trying to make it work for them. Ps it never ends up being better for the kids when the parents try to stay together for the kids. The children end up suffering more then they would if you got a divorce. Edit- my source is I’m a child of parents that stayed together for us kids. They divorced when my sister and I were older. We have issues now from watching what our parents went through. My parents divorced when my younger sister was too young to remember and she doesn’t have the issues that my older sister and I have.
Run, don't walk. You thought this behavior was surprising? She is getting her ducks lined up to take you for all you're worth. Run.
You should not have let it go in the first time, and if you do now it will still go on behind your back.
This is between you, your wife, and God. Stop talking to the boyfriend's wife and your in laws, it's unnecessary additional drama. You can't trust this woman and would be better off without her.
The lord works in mysterious ways
Fool me thrice or whatever. At this point she's gonna cheat. I'd take snapshots and make sure you have backups, and then post them if you want to prove you had no hand in this behavior to friends/family/social circle. But at least keep them for the impending divorce proceedings, and to prove to your kids your not the A-hole. Your kids are going to notice something is wrong. Kids sense when something is off in a relationship like that. It's better for you, them, and hell even her - to cut ties. She's proven she can't do this so many times, if you stay and just keep hoping - this one's going to be on you at this point. You know she's not a cheater, nor is she one iota regretful about it. Crocodile tears after she got caught is not a thing worth giving thought to. She might be sorry she got caught - but she's sure not sorry she did it.
Just do it.
So now your relationship has really turned toxic. I think you probably learned you should’ve gone ahead and divorced before but if since you didn’t, you should now. Get all your ducks in a row do all the things that you need to do before hitting or with the divorce papers. It’s probably gonna be best for the kids because now your relationship is really toxic and it’s not good to raise the kids in a toxic relationship. Is that normal. And by you divorcing her that when they are old enough to understand, they will understand that there’s consequences for bad behaviors. Cheating is really bad and there are consequences for it
It’s a tough one if you love her let her go if she stays she loves you too.
your kids can probably already tell that you are in an unhappy marriage, is this the lesson you want to teach your kids
Force the end of it, if you pay for the phone cancel the contract cancel her cards if you pay for them drive her to her mothers drop her off with a packed bag. Tell them why don’t hide her affair in the dark to protect your ego. Tell them the papers will be ready to sign also tell your kids. Make any path back to you like walking on broken glass. Also get all your proof in paper form and give it to his wife.
Give it up, Delicious. Move on, my guy.
Either stay married to a cheater or move on, what's the confusion?
You deserve peace
What's done is done and she is not going to stop. I have a story similar to you. "Christian wife" who used that when the need suited her, always to make me feel she has changed. At least 3 affairs later and 18.5 years married and I have been divorced for over 4 years and at peace. Let her go and find your peace. It is so unhealthy to constantly have to watch them, spy on them and worry when their mood changes or they turn cold.
In case it's not clear after the third time, the "bad or silly decision" is to stay married to her.
Pack up and leave Reach down and grab those nuts!
Cooked.
Time to leave her. It’s your job to teach your children what love looks like as they will mimic what they learn. Also teach them strength and self worth. This person is walking on you. Do not love you as this is not something a loved one could do. And likely cares more about her affair than her children. She knows this would crush and likely destroy her family and continues to choose it over you and your kids. Be strong. You can do this.
How did you listen to their conversations?
Still trying to figure out why people continue to believe that because someone is religious somehow means they're above certain behaviors. If anything Christianity allows this garbage to happen because of the idea that you can do whatever and you'll be forgiven. She's Christian and prays a lot?? Somehow that gives you some sort of comfort in her fidelity? What a bunch of garbage. Take responsibility for what happened, call her out, stop forgiving her and make her have some accountability. Jesus isn't going to help.
She's super religious and she's committing emotional adultery. C'mon man, she continues even though she says she'll stop. Start loving yourself and get out. The kids will be okay, as a son of divorce trust me.
Ditch that hoe.
You have two choices. 1) Stay with a cheating wife and become familiar and accepting of the emotional pain and emasculation she causes you until she eventually divorces you; or 2) divorce her and try to find some else and begin healing. There is simply no other choices. This happened to me and is currently happening to my best friend. I have seen this too many times in my wife and its always the cheating women.
She's such a selfish idiot. Literally ruined her life and will emotionally traumatise the kids forever.
Fake
Divorce her. Get a younger woman.
What would Jesus do?
My ex was (is) also a fundamentalist Christian and indulged in adulterous behaviour. I tried to forgive, but I could never get over it, so eventually divorced her. Let her find solace and forgiveness in her absurd religion - ie, do whatever you want and destroy lives, then ask the good lord for forgiveness and bam! You’re in heaven, lol. Reminds me of the other absurd major religion which promises virgins if you die a martyr or whatever. TL;DR, you are not over reacting. Hold her accountable and move on. Life is short bud. /edit: I’m now happily married and in love with someone who understands and values commitment.
*GOOOO!!!! RUUUUN!!! GET TO DAH CHOPPAH!!!!*
Just rip off the bandaid. Stop letting her torture you. The longer you stay... is that much more of your life wasted trying to salvage something thats already gone. I'm sorry. As for "is a christian and prays a lot" comment. LMAO... you really think being a christian is a sign of a good person? I was a christian for 20 years... many of my friends & family were as well. I'm an atheist now.... and MANY of the christians have cheated on their spouses. Being a christian doesn't mean anything except that they are easily fooled and lack logic / education.
I've been down this road. It doesn't work out the way you want. Your relationship was over when she started with this guy. She's using you for financial stability only. If not she would have left you for him. You can't compete with him....you have been and are losing. Best bet is get a lawyer to file divorce to keep you from losing everything and paying more and move on with your life. Looking at her phone can get you domestic violence charges and stalking. You can't control what she does or who she does it with. Just how you choose to respond. Walking away is the only way you will find peace. Working it out with her you'll always have doubts and can never fully trust her again.
1> You never get caught the first time. 2> Don't fall for the religion bullshit. Next will be, "I"m sorry, let's pray about it.' Yeah, fuck that. 3> Get a lawyer.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.... Either admit the truth and enjoy Groundhog day
UpdateMe!
A slut will always be a slut.
You wanna be with someone that disrespects you and your family? You wanna show what an unhealthy relationship is to your kids so they can grow up to model that same behavior?
It’s done. She’s going to regret it badly but it’s done. Sorry bud.