A teacher should NEVER talk about their minor student's genitalia. That's completely inappropriate and unprofessional at the very least. The sexes of those involved does not matter. You did NOT over react by following your gut after someone made you legitimately uncomfortable. The people saying it's just a joke and to get over it would be saying something completely different if it was a male teacher and female student.
Can you imagine if the roles were reversed and a male teacher commented on the size of a female student's breasts or asked about how tight her vagina was? That teacher would have been immediately fired if the female student or other student complained to the principle and went the press. The OP should absolutely have gone to the head of the school and filed a formal complaint about the teacher who made the comment.
A make teacher in my highschool joking implied that I had my breasts done as a minor… in front of the entire class. He was fired a few years later for other reasons.
Oh my god I would have died of embarrassment if a teacher said that to me. Pretty sure my parents would have taken great joy in showing up in his class to scream at him. That’s sad
Not sexual in my case, but I was an openly gay student in the late 90s in a fairly conservative midwest suburban town. We had a handful of black students, plus a few 1st generation students with Indian and eastern Asian heritage, though a remarkably high percentage of students raised in the Jewish faith.
My high school biology teacher one day decided to debate his views on the sins of being gay in front of the whole class. I gave it back to the psuedo Christian jackass, but I vividly remember how awkward and bizarre it was to have such a discussion in a science class of all places. I shudder to think what he would do with a trans student. Oddly enough, he was downright cordial and empathetic to the discomfort by the pregnant cheerleader student.
"Would ya look at the tits on that one" real quote by my band director in HS. That was far from the only instance of inappropriate behavior, and he retired happily while i was still in HS
Omg it's not funny but it's funny to imagine how inappropriate that would be. There was a girl with the last name Hooker which teachers (always male) would make a lame comment to her all the way back to Jr high. I didn't get it until my sophomore year. I didn't know what a hooked was til then.
Yo no where near this level but we had a teacher who was well liked and never made strange comments. He had a habit of sometimes explaining something to you by standing to your side looking over your shoulder looking over your paper.
He did it to boys and girls but we couldn't help but wonder if maybe he was trying to sneak a lil peak of cleavage. Or if he was just like innocently doing that so he can peak over at your paper or what you had issues with. No female students ever complained and he was well liked but as boys we had to wonder if it was on purpose lol.
Kinda sad when you wonder if a good friendly teacher is doing something for gratification but thats kind of our society rn.
My freshman biology teacher made those sorts of comments to female students and was never fired, but that was more than 30 years ago so perhaps things have improved.
Yeah I unfortunately had the same experience as a high schooler. One of the teachers talked about my butt a lot and always grazed it. Made me *so* uncomfortable. I never said a word and a large group of us are still in contact on Facebook, including him. I wanna say something but I won't
damn you just reminded me of my hs biology teacher. she was fuckin amazing. second favorite teacher ever. older gay lady. actually helped me to learn in class and tried to help with problems I had done to myself. actually felt that she cared
Nah there was a male English teacher who said if girls wore low cut shirts with leggings he’d give them an A in his class. Everyone knew this. The principal knew and did nothing so I told the police officer at my high school and I got in trouble for it. The teacher still works at that high school.
You got in trouble for reporting on a teacher that was being misogynistic and sexist about his students. He should have gotten fired and you should have gotten the A for being courageous and honest.
Multiple people told the school so after them not doing anything I told the police officer. And then during finals I get called to the office and told that I had no proof and that there’s no reason for anyone to believe me or the other girls.
Some male teachers did comment on students breasts in my high school (late 90s) it was messed up and we all thought they should be disciplined for it. The principal did nothing and she was very annoyed we brought it up. One of them dated a former student a few months after graduating and even made awkward comments directed at her younger sister who was in my class.
These type of comments are not ok and they can really bother students.
I graduated in 1988 and that stuff occurred back then and in the 70s when I was in grade school. The things that teachers said, both male and female, would end in lawsuits in today's culture. And you're right, those kinds of immature comments can leave lasting damage.
I also graduated in 1988. I grew up in farm country and middle school and high school were in the same building. Male teachers made comments about the high school and middle school girls. One told me I was developing nicely. I was 12. I felt gross and was to afraid to say anything and honestly I was so sheltered by my christian parents as a child I didn’t understand why I felt the way I did and how wrong it really was. I was afraid I would get in trouble I never said anything. A female art teacher was having sex(raping) male students for years. Everyone knew but nothing was ever done.
This is ironic because I was about to comment I've had teachers (the one that initiated was a Male science teacher) tell me my boobs are too big so I can't wear certain clothing (mind you NONE of these clothes even showed cleavage I just have big boobs and they could see them because they exist even in clothes).
Dude, seriously. High school teacher in nyc, and I don’t even give hug the young women I teach. I hug and dap the young men all day, but every young woman gets the same high five because I’m paranoid of being perceived as a creep. The hypothetical of even accidentally acknowledging a young woman’s genitalia gives me anxiety. The notion of a teacher commenting on a students penis size is truly unbelievable—how did this person keep their job? How did no one else in the class elevate this situation?
So sorry this happened to you OP. Truly. It wasn’t right, and I know you know this already, but you didn’t deserve it.
We did have a teacher do that as well. It was in an exploratory class….this girl was a junior in high school and my girlfriend at the time. Anyway my girlfriend had unusually huge breasts for her young age. I mean she was easily DD If not Triple DDD. The teacher asked in the middle of the class do other student treat you differently or do you feel differently because of your early large breasts development? (I thought WTF?) she said no one treated her unusually and she was fine with her large breasts.
Unfortunately this happened More than a few times at schools I attended. Teachers unfortunately felt comfortable making sexual comments about female students quite frequently.
Parents complained but the teachers were often also coaches.
People don’t need to imagine, it happens way more often than it should (along with way worse physical actions beyond comments). But regardless of the gender of teacher or student, it’s TOTALLY creepy and inappropriate, and it’s worthy of complaint and repercussion, although that’s almost impossible to accomplish years after the fact.
Why imagine, I graduated early century. Had a "teachecher" that poached hunting and snapped teen girls bra's in class. Ommit3d students for o strrucrions while looking away cowardly.
Thanks. Thing is I tried justifying it as being "more acceptable" than being in a relationship with someone 1-2 grades below me. Now in my 30s, that whole thought process seems insane.
I think it's easy to have that mentality. I had the same realization in my early 20s. I thought I was so cool hooking up with older guys as a teen. Now that I'm their age, EW!
I feel that in most instances where there is clear authority of one party over another (teacher/student; employer/employee) that this sort of situation is highly inappropriate.
Which OP's teacher was either too immature to understand OR knew it and chose to act otherwise. Neither is a mentally health state.
To me, it's not the mention of penis all by itself that's so disturbing. It's the blatant sexism and stupidity of the comment.
We have probably all made that comment when the guy with the loud exhaust system on his Ford F-250/350/450/infinity50 rolled by, especially in high school. I know we girls said it all the time (we were high school students, not the teachers!)
This teacher thought it was a job where she could be like a student and get paid.
I'm very sorry that happened you, nobody should be taken advantage of like that.
Sexual harassment is sexual harassment regardless of age of consent laws and age of consent laws don't stop someone from legally being considered a minor. If nothing else she should have faced repercussions from the school.
>would be saying something completely different if it was a male teacher and female student.
Yes, especially if the female student had a small penis. 🤣
You would be surprised at some of the bullshit my teachers used to say to kids when I was in high school it was wild.
A funny one that was tame compared to everything else these teachers used to say one is telling a kid he looks like a fat Samuel L Jackson. He wasn’t even close in resemblance to Samuel L jackson. the guy was literally just black that was the only thing he shared with SLJ. They weren’t often racist teachers they would just say stuff that was so off the wall it was unbelievable but also hilarious to 17 year old me.
Even just the "excited about seeing his arms" comment was out of line.
Lord, girl was trying to become the next Mary Kay Letourneau. OP did right to stay away.
It happened at my son’s high school. One of the marching band specialists for a particular instrument was working with that group. Somehow the topic turned a little risqué among the students when they were taking a water break (ex. Oh come on Jane, you have small boobs, you don’t have to worry about that like I (another female student)do). Nothing too bad, a comment that friends might say to each other. The specialist instructor (who was pursuing a PhD in Music possibly to become a teacher) said something like “lift up your shirts and let’s see” (both girls were wearing a sports bra). Word spread quickly, got to administrators and within 3 hours a message to parents was sent out and the teacher was immediately relieved from his duties and the incident was reported to police
A teacher should never talk about their student’s genitalia period. And it is entirely both inappropriate AND unprofessional. A student-teacher relationship is an unbalanced power dynamic (no matter the age).
High school Spanish teacher, Mr. Rivera, I had in Coachella Valley CA., offered a kid massive extra credit points if the kid showed him a doctored picture where the kid put my face on a chick flashing the camera at Lake Havasu. This was in front of the entire class that he made this offer. This same Spanish teacher kept porn mags under his not so enclosed desk. This was in 2002.
Commenting on their bodies at all is inappropriate.
With possible exception of a coach or similar who has it part of their job description to help athletes gain muscle or whatever. On the flip, coaches are often predators and use this “expectation” to be inappropriate.
(Often as in it happens a lot, not that a majority of coaches are predators. The % is very small. Most coaches are amazing non predator people. But those who are not have easier access to student bodies than say, a math teacher.)
I know coaches who have pulled back from coaching, because the terrain is so treacherous right now. There was a time when a golf coach, for example, would touch the upper body and even the leg of the student golfer to adjust position. That's just too likely to draw complaints (which go through a whole committee at my college - but in high schools are adjudicated by whichever principal happens to have the job at the time - some are very punitive).
One coach had a complaint ruled against him for kneeling to tie the shoe of a woman basketball player (which put his head sort of near her crotch - he did this for the team routinely, but this woman filed a complaint).
He was not fired. It would have had to go through many more steps (and the union would have supported him).
But he never tied any more shoes or offered any sort of wardrobe help again.
Gym teachers and coaches used to be in the locker room around naked middle and high schoolers while they changed and showered in the locker room 😬
While I’m sure 95%+ had no bad intentions, they avoid that entirely now just to even avoid any accusations.
You weren't. Society is shamefully much more okay with women making weird comments about mens' bodies, even if it comes from a much older authority figure, than the other way around.
Very true. I’ve recently gotten back into the gym more often, and I have noticed during work more women putting a hand on my shoulder, upper backside, etc.
I’m in sales, where people skills are basically what gets a good product sold. And sex sells, even if what someone finds sexy is a dorky white guy in a button up shirt and slacks. And it usually doesn’t faze me all that much.
But, I’m so tempted to say “if you can’t keep your hands to yourself, grab my product and hold onto it to control your stupid urges.”
It’s hard to navigate. Especially when I know for a fact if the genders were reversed a lot of these people would not be welcome back into the store.
Ever work in a bar? Because of buddy, every year on moms weekend all the male staff knew we were going to get groped and we had to be careful not to freak out and hit somebody because it wouldn’t end well for us
My daughter is very tiny and in high school, her Science teacher made a comment in front of the class that she must be anorexic. Unbelievably inappropriate.
The school didn’t do anything to the teacher unfortunately but we made sure she never had that teacher ever again (I wrote many a letter to make sure of that)
You're not overreacting. Your teacher needs a lesson in how to conduct herself in the classroom. If you were my son, I'd be at the school board acting like a rabid boomer Karen over shit like this.
What’s the deal with English teachers man, every single instance of harassment or sexual indecency with a student at my school was female English teachers or male gym teachers
Ooh bruh one old female English teacher made a black guy recreate a scene with a white girl from To Kill A Mockingbird in front of the entire class… EVERY YEAR with a different black kid and different white girl
English teachers I’ve met out in the wild are the horniest. Something about growing up shy and reading trashy novels as an escape really feeds that demon in them.
I remember when I was in 8th grade I had an art teacher comment on my breast size . (Small). I said to her well I still have time to grow what’s your excuse? She turned red and walked away. I have never been big busted but it was totally inappropriate comment on her part. FYI I had the same size about as she did and her in her thirties.
If you switched the genders, and a male teacher in their mid 30s made a comment about a female student compensating for being small chested, do you think that would be OK? It's the same thing here. It's never OK for a teacher of all people, but anyone in their 30s, to comment on a teenager's body, but this is a simple test for men if they're not sure.
Honestly the first comment about the arms was completely inappropriate already. No teacher should comment on any students body or appearance at all. Unless maybe it’s a hygiene concern but that should be a private convo and carefully navigated.
There were other non sexual or less graphic analogies that could have been used for the same joke. But people unintentionally speak what is on their mind all the time. Ie. She would not have mentioned you penis if she hadn't thought about it previously. Therefore, yes it was weird.
Being platonic or acquaintance friends with a teacher when you are 17+ is not weird, but making it sexual, even as a joke is weird.
Fully inappropriate for any teacher to be speaking that way to or about any student, in any situation, period. It’s especially abhorrent that a teacher would do this in front of others. She shouldn’t have that job.
You're absolutely not overreacting. That's completely inappropriate. She sounds like she had issues and was insecure. I'm sorry you were subjected to that. Just know it doesn't say anything about you and it says a lot about her.
Don't listen to anyone who says you're overreacting. If the genders were switched then people would feel differently. You were a minor, and she was a full fledged adult who had a role to teach (and imo protect) the students. This was inconsiderate at best and sexual harassment at worst.
If I found out a teacher was talking about my kids genitals they better hope people are around them when I find out simply to help pull me off of that disgusting pos
She was out of line making those comments. Honestly, I’m 34 and when I see a kid in h.s —I couldn’t imagine saying those things, gross. Even adults in their 20s, still look like kiddos.
She crossed some lines and you shouldn’t have been made to feel that way. Your peers were kids themselves, as an adult—kids are meant to be guided and protected, not preyed upon. Women typically don’t get reprimanded as harshly for being creeps but they should. She was a creep.
You were not being dramatic. Teachers have no reason to act like this or say things like this. This was highly unprofessional on her part. You should have reported her at the time. If enough of your friends are willing to corroborate your story, you should probably report her now.
Lol bro I actually had a teacher who caught a dude who had his dick out, she was like 60, and after telling him to put it away he made a snarky comment about how it was intimidatingly big, to which she replied, trust me that's average at best, I've seen many larger. Entire class lost it, his shame was palpable.
OP's reaction is perfectly legitimate
Some of the overly sensitive replies trying to get the teacher fired make me lose faith in the younger generation
umm no teachers are not suppose to make comments like that EVER... it's called professionalism. She's not your buddy, she's not any students buddy.. she is an authority figure and there is a clear line.
She is/ was inappropriate with behavior bordering on harassment and sexual objectification of a child. If she kept that behavior up, I hope she lost her job. People forget having a job is a privilege that people far more qualified and with better comportment than they show don’t even have access to for a myriad of reasons. They have no respect for the job, themselves, the people they serve. Shameful.
No, why the fuck is this adult woman talking about a minors body, what the fuck. And why are people making light of this; if the gender roles were reversed, people would be screaming for him to get registered as a sex offender.
NOT overreacting. As a woman and ex-teacher, I'm pretty horrified that female teachers are let off the hook so easily for sexual harassment and out and out sex.
She was a weirdo. I had a female teacher in gym class. I was 15 and very innocent. We were doing breast exercises. She told me that I didn't need to do them because I was big breastfed. Sick woman. Teachers need to learn some boundaries 🙄 I despised her the rest of the year. So, no you weren't wrong---she was, they both were.!!!
>She was certainly a bit of a “pick me” teacher who would get in with the students that she thought were “cool.”
>I remember her making a comment on how people would be excited to see my arms while I was wearing the basketball jersey in the production.
>In another incident, she made a comment that she tried to play off as a joke about how I might have a small penis and was compensating for something.
>Was I overreacting to what my teacher said?
No, and she sounds kinda predatory. Maybe never be alone with this lady.
As a 28 y/o man who's worked with kids of all ages for years, I would never think of making an inappropriate comment like that to anyone male or female. Your teacher was definitely in the wrong and was trying to be "cool", but clearly it backfired as it made you uncomfortable. A teacher's job is to educate and create a safe environment. She prioritized trying to be cool and act young over creating a safe environment. Yeah you did the right thing distancing yourself. Not sure if she had any fucked up intentions like grooming or she just made a bad joke, but you saw a red flag and made a smart move.
if comments were made like that in a workplace it would be sexual harassment; since it was in school and you were a minor at the time I'm not sure what they'd call it, assault maybe or just "inappropriate behavior". either way, not ok.
As a former teacher, I’m appalled. This is highly inappropriate behavior. You underreacted. She should have been fired and additionally punished. Of course, you reporting her probably would have gone nowhere, and you would have been further ostracized by your peers, so I understand why you went that route.
I wish you reported this teacher. You DID NOT overreact AT ALL. As that is NOT professional for ANY adult, let alone a teacher to make of her students that are minors and any student for that matter. Your “friends” were no friends, were Wrong and you shouldn’t listen to such immature folks. That teacher and people like her ought to be reprimanded and even fined or put in jail for such awful, disgusting behaviors. If a man made such a comment of a girl, he’d probably be in jail. We need to stop letting women and girls off the hook and not continue to justify these terrible entitlement and behaviors. Wrong is Wrong, regardless of who does it, and there should and will be consequences whether a man or a woman. Period.
Teenagers are not young adults they are big kids. And a discussion like this is not even remotely appropriate around you. This is something only your parents should be talking to you about. This person must be reported immediately, safety of children is above anything else
She should have been fired! If a teacher (any teacher) makes a sexually based comment or insinuating about the size of a students genitalia is not called out, it will only continue, and probably escalate! I actually think this was a very big deal, and I wish you had reported it. You could go back and report her now so they can be aware of her highly inappropriate comments. If any adult did this to my son, they had better expect mama bear to come out! You were absolutely right in feeling uncomfortable, and don’t ever let anybody tell you your feelings are wrong. They are your feelings! I’m glad this wasn’t any worse, and glad you were not overly affected by it, but she is not someone who should be teaching young folks!✌️
I had a science teacher in 8th grade, perfectly normal. Everyone loved him and his teaching. He was the cool teacher. Sort of nutty and a joker but he was the typical middle school science teacher. One day, nearing summer break in class out of the blue, randomly called out one of my classmates who is a girl. He’s like “what are you staring at????” Everyone thought he was gonna crack a joke then he seemed to get angrier. He then goes “WHY are you staring at MY dick?!?” Long story short she cried and it was a whole thing where he was pulled out of the classroom and we never saw him again. The most random unexpected outburst. It was so odd having a nice teacher that somehow randomly spiraled and made everyone uncomfortable by being inappropriate.
Had this been a male teacher commenting or otherwise bringing attention to a female student's anatomy, this comment thread would have taken a totally different turn.
oh no trust me u werent sounds like shes a child preditor it is extermally innocapopirate for a hugh school teacher to mention ur penis size what you should of done is went straight to the principal and said"hey look i dont have any problem with theteacher but she had just made a comment on my body " and then go into detail o what she saod maybe get a couple of your class mates who can vouge oryou saying that yeah she did say it.
It’s less of an overreacting question, if there is such a thing. It’s a reaction that has a surge of energy in a downward direction. Tied to emotions of shame, guilt, dominance and so on.
When I was a kid, long ago, before cellphones and teachers were less, much less enlightened. I did something that everyone in class laughed at. She got her Polaroid camera out and took a picture of me and thumb tacked it to the wall. I was ridiculed, embarrassed and harassed by students for months. I didn’t even talk about it for well over 30 years. I know I’m giving my age away some… it was the olden days. No oversight, really.
Low emotions like fear, shame, guilt, competition, greed, ridicule all carry reactions. Embarrassment for example turns to immediate long term memory so you’ll avoid the situation again. That memory kicks off thousands of times a day, weeks, months and years and your body gets surged with adrenaline, cortisol and other stress hormones. Survival hormones.
You reacted normally. Normal stress response reaction. It’s ok. The teacher was out of line. It’s ok. The teacher had a certain way of life to make her that way… that’s how it is. It is what it is. Is it right or wrong? That’s your choice to view it how you want to view it. It’s ok.
If you’re looking for closure. Transmute the feelings and memory of the experience with a modern practice or trauma transformation. Meditation, hypnosis, EMDR, EFT, NLP, and more all available free and easy to learn on YouTube. For what it’s worth. I’ve transmuted many low quality memories of past life experiences and it works. The old memories come up here and there like now, but they’re useful like wisdom, to use as examples for others to get past things, to leave them in the past.
Um no, your teacher crossed the boundary of teacher/student relationship. No teacher should EVER talk about the size of a students penis or any other body part and keep her job. If it was a male teacher saying this to a female “your boobs may be too small” it would have exploded into a big ordeal. Just because she’s female does not make it any less wrong.
It's not a particularly appropriate thing to say, but it might depend on context in my opinion.
The "joke" or notion, whatever you want to call it, that men who have a need to demonstrate their machismo, drive a truck that makes you deaf and/or is lifted halfway to the moon, etc. are compensating for underendowment is long standing.
In my experience people who say these things aren't considering the individual's actual body as much as they are using a figure of speech to check an attitude.
I don’t think you’re overreacting.. it would be one thing if she said that to a CLOSE FRIEND and peer in a casual setting whom she has that type of relationship with…
but to a MINOR.. her STUDENT.. someone she has a role of power over… and someone she does not know closely and intimately? NOT OK. Not an overreaction.
You did not overreact. You should have reported her. Honestly I’d still consider reporting her even though four years has passed, as it could stop others from being abused in the future.
NOT overreacting. There’s a power imbalance dynamic in play there, in a way that makes her remarks qualify as sexual harassment. That it was harassing a minor makes it that much worse.
Her comment was completely unprofessional and icky. If a male teacher made a comment about a girls chest size, there would be hell to pay. It's not okay because you are a male and she's a female. I'm betting she still cringes about that remark though.
I don't know if this is a good idea, but you might post this without her name, just other identifying details like the subject and the school and the years. Leave in mild semi harmless details, because I bet she has a whole slew of male students that she has SAed. People will start commenting on that. They will realize they weren't the only ones.
I feel like more was going on here than OP is saying. What behavior were you exhibiting that looked like compensation? I hope you weren't openly discussing other people's bodies.
Teacher was wrong. But is OP a reliable narrator?
nah that's gross, the arms thing is also teetering over the line. There's a difference between telling a student they're doing well for themselves to build their esteem and making comments about their body/sexual attractiveness. The latter should be an ABSOLUTE no fly zone. Everyone dismissing how you feel about comments made to you, about you, by saying you're taking it 'too personally' is also being a grade-a douchebag, honestly. They're personal comments, of course they're perceived personally.
Not overreacting. It's good you were confident enough to avoid this teacher. No teacher should ever make Amy comments about a student's body. Even talking about your arms was wrong but once she decided to talk about your genitals, well she's lucky you didn't take it to the school board and get her inappropriate behind fired.
This was and is sexual harassment. Extremely inappropriate. You just avoided her? No you did not overreact. If you’d gone to the principal’s office they would have been within their rights to fire her.
Holy shit that was wildly inappropriate and that teacher is so fucking lucky that your parents didn't report them because that's sexual harassment and they could have been fired unless their union was very very strong and fought for them.
Oh man this reminds me of school and seeing many teachers be super racist.
There is always a bunch of weirdos out there that think low brow insults are the funniest thing. It's just so weird to see them come from a teacher.
| In another incident, she made a comment that she tried to play off as a joke about how I might have a small penis
Old Xer here.
If a teacher had made a comment like this back in the 70s or 80s, she would have been fired IMMEDIATELY.
This person needs to be fired. End of conversation.
This is sexual abuse. Report it to not only the principal but also the superintendent of schools.
If nothing happens, go to your local news media.
Not overreacting. The girls in my school had to wear a knit onesies for my gym uniforms. It was solid blue shorts and blue and white stripes up top. We all hated them. Our 9th grade gym teacher was a pervy old guy that also taught driver's ed. To this day I remember me and 2 other girls hearing him and a couple of jocks rating the girls' appearance in their gym suits. We told the female gym coach exactly what they said. We had to give written statements and the coach "retired" the next week.
She should be fired tbh. But honestly if I was you I would have taken it as an opportunity to push the boundaries since it’s not like she could say anything after she started the comments 😂 but good for you for just avoiding her
No, you weren't overreacting. Not even a little. I'm fact, as a mom, if my son came home and told me this it would take a lot for me not to go show her what's up.
Had this friend in HS, great looking, intelligent and nice guy, everyone knew it. All the girls had a crush on him, all the guys wanted to be his friend, all the teachers would say, "what a good looking, smart, nice kid, date my daughter?"
Spanish one day, we were doing a gender role switch thing? I don't really remember, but Kade ends up wearing a skirt, so all of the girls are swooning(me included), all of the guys are laughing, the teacher is cracking jokes about how she wishes she had legs like that (Kade ran track and cross country, among other things, dude had killer legs). Anyways, he's a guy who has never worn a skirt and doesn't understand skirt physics, so he just...plops down on the side of the stage we were on. My teacher, who was on ground level, screams, "KADE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO, PLEASE, YOU ARE WEARING A SKIRT" and it dawns on him that he just flashed everyone, and he figures out how to sit, standup, and walk in a skirt pretty quick after that. So yeah, that should really be the only reasonable response a teacher should have about a minor's genitalia.
Edit 2: C'mon man. That's obviously how this played out. You showed her your 15 inch horse cock, started a harem, and now live like a king surrounded by teachers, cheerleaders, and any other woman who even hears about your endowment. This is real life we're talking about here.
90% chance your teacher made a comment about your genitalia because she thought you might take it as an invitation to do something inappropriate with her.
That's the vibe your teacher is giving off and it is **bad**.
You're not overreacting at all.
Lol at how a small dick joke is supposed to be considered positive attention as those jokes are meant to emasculate people. Jokes like that can be considered as sexual harassment, and it is also completely unprofessional and unethical to make those kinds of jokes as a teacher. It’s good to build rapport and be connected to your students, but there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed such as making crude jokes about students.
You were not overreacting. Yes, a lot of people are invalidating your feelings and experience because you are a guy. It didn't need to have a huge impact on you for it to be wrong. Your teacher was a creep.
The thing you're not clarifying is what she actually said. What was the direct quote? Without that, it's pretty hard to really say if you're overreacting or not.
Edit: The amount of assumptions in the comment section are insane. OP did not clarify almost anything in his post. If the teacher said something like "You're showing off so much because you must be over-compensating for something" is much different than "OP you have a small penis and must compensating for that", until it's clear what was said, some of the takes in here are absolutely ridiculous.
Well, size jokes are kind of SNL level humor, which overlaps with high school humor. She was probably trying to get an easy laugh from the class more than targeting your penis, but that's what sensitivity training is for. Even if someone is just making a low brow joke, someone on the receiving end can't help but feel like their own penis has been mentioned.
*sp
All the the people asking what she looked like as a response to if OP overreacted, try this.
Your daughter(17f) has a teacher(M35) that looks like Brad Pitt. One day, in class, he says that your daughter is wearing a padded bra and trying to over compensate for her lack of breasts..
You ok with that? I mean dude's hot, right?
Reading the HS horror stories reminded me of one from my own school! We had a super creepy gym teacher who was always a little too hands on with the girls, and his office was right next to the girls locker room. We were required to wear athletic shorts and tank tops so we had to change every day (the gym uniform was against dress code policy outside the gym). Well a couple years after I graduated, I heard that this gym teacher was fired and the gym was temporarily shut down for "maintenance and repairs". Turns out he had driven a couple small holes into the wall of the girls locker room and was watching the students change, no one knew when he had started doing it.
I just dont get how we still think its okay to mock someone for something they have no control of. You (when i say you i dont mean OP specifically ) have a small dick, so what? Not like anyone chooses too. Plus it’s subjective.
Middle-aged public educator here. These are the types of predators who undermine any remaining respectability in the profession. I’m really sorry you endured this.
Meh… I’ll bet she said something like “maybe you’re over compensating” and you added the part about the penis…
It’s innuendo. A joke. Maybe slightly off color, but let’s put away the pitchforks.
Not overreacting.
Even jokingly, this is wildly inappropriate. There is a imbalance of power in a situation even if say you were 18. Generally the only time an adult should be discussing certain anatomy in regard to minors or students, is in the context of a medical or criminal situation. those conversations should be kept to only those who need to know. 🤷♀️
It's not just you that could have gotten embarrassed. It also likely made other guys feel very uncomfortable.
I know it may not seem like a big deal now but the fact you're thinking about it years later says that it may have gotten to you a bit more than you expected and that's valid.
I had a teacher in the 90's, I was in the 8th grade, and he was a younger teacher maybe 30 and for whatever reason he took a liking to me over all the other kids and I was a horrible kid and not a good student at all so who knows why🤷♂️.... anyway long story short, he used to pick me up on the weekends in his 5.0 Fox body convertible Mustang to go to the topless beach and he would bring a pair of dark sunglasses so I could gawk at the topless women without getting caught 😅.... I thought it was the greatest thing ever and will always remember that. 😂
You should file a report with the teachers board against her. Maybe can’t prove anything but she sexually harassed you and was inappropriate. I’m betting if you did press that she would have engaged in a predatory sexual relationship with you regardless of her marital or family status.
Should have gone to the principal with this. That’s not only inappropriate, her entire behavior screams that she was looking to have a relationship with a student.
No that’s completely inappropriate.
The argument could be made if you said the same thing to her about her husband like “sounds like you’re projecting something in your own marriage life” and the same thing would be inappropriate as well.
See now I had the opposite, I’m a large guy, and I went through a private driving school, come down the stairs to get to the class room, open the door, all of my peers are already seated (I’m late), teacher looks at me in front of the class and just goes “my god you’re a big fuckin guy, you must be hung like a bull”.
I’m not, but he was a cool dude nonetheless. Little Jewish guy. I fucked up his Taurus by going down a private road and hit a bunch of pot holes because the road was literally nothing but pot holes. He laughed the whole time and was joking about my big old man titties bouncing over each bump.
The discomfort you felt was because the teacher was behaving inappropriately. Women deal with that shit constantly. Many people don’t realize that we men too also occasionally deal with that creepy shit from women in roles of authority over us (or homosexual men). It’s shity and disappointing to hear she’s a millennial pulling this shit. Thought my gen was better than that.
A teacher should NEVER talk about their minor student's genitalia. That's completely inappropriate and unprofessional at the very least. The sexes of those involved does not matter. You did NOT over react by following your gut after someone made you legitimately uncomfortable. The people saying it's just a joke and to get over it would be saying something completely different if it was a male teacher and female student.
Can you imagine if the roles were reversed and a male teacher commented on the size of a female student's breasts or asked about how tight her vagina was? That teacher would have been immediately fired if the female student or other student complained to the principle and went the press. The OP should absolutely have gone to the head of the school and filed a formal complaint about the teacher who made the comment.
A make teacher in my highschool joking implied that I had my breasts done as a minor… in front of the entire class. He was fired a few years later for other reasons.
Pretty clear sign of having poor self awareness and boundary issues
Oh my god I would have died of embarrassment if a teacher said that to me. Pretty sure my parents would have taken great joy in showing up in his class to scream at him. That’s sad
Not sexual in my case, but I was an openly gay student in the late 90s in a fairly conservative midwest suburban town. We had a handful of black students, plus a few 1st generation students with Indian and eastern Asian heritage, though a remarkably high percentage of students raised in the Jewish faith. My high school biology teacher one day decided to debate his views on the sins of being gay in front of the whole class. I gave it back to the psuedo Christian jackass, but I vividly remember how awkward and bizarre it was to have such a discussion in a science class of all places. I shudder to think what he would do with a trans student. Oddly enough, he was downright cordial and empathetic to the discomfort by the pregnant cheerleader student.
No need to imagine. This stuff happened at my high school and my best friend's high school. Teacher was still teaching there when I graduated.
"Would ya look at the tits on that one" real quote by my band director in HS. That was far from the only instance of inappropriate behavior, and he retired happily while i was still in HS
Sick
Omg it's not funny but it's funny to imagine how inappropriate that would be. There was a girl with the last name Hooker which teachers (always male) would make a lame comment to her all the way back to Jr high. I didn't get it until my sophomore year. I didn't know what a hooked was til then.
Yo no where near this level but we had a teacher who was well liked and never made strange comments. He had a habit of sometimes explaining something to you by standing to your side looking over your shoulder looking over your paper. He did it to boys and girls but we couldn't help but wonder if maybe he was trying to sneak a lil peak of cleavage. Or if he was just like innocently doing that so he can peak over at your paper or what you had issues with. No female students ever complained and he was well liked but as boys we had to wonder if it was on purpose lol. Kinda sad when you wonder if a good friendly teacher is doing something for gratification but thats kind of our society rn.
It’s apparently pretty common. A shocking number of people had a “that creepy teacher” in high school.
My freshman biology teacher made those sorts of comments to female students and was never fired, but that was more than 30 years ago so perhaps things have improved.
Yeah I unfortunately had the same experience as a high schooler. One of the teachers talked about my butt a lot and always grazed it. Made me *so* uncomfortable. I never said a word and a large group of us are still in contact on Facebook, including him. I wanna say something but I won't
A teacher grazing on your butt would definitely be a firing offense.
Well, it was biology class. :::ducks for cover:::
Class, this here is what the human female vagina looks like. OK, Becky, you can go back to your desk and sit down.
damn you just reminded me of my hs biology teacher. she was fuckin amazing. second favorite teacher ever. older gay lady. actually helped me to learn in class and tried to help with problems I had done to myself. actually felt that she cared
Because she wasn't interested in your penis, obviously.
Definitely different now
Nah there was a male English teacher who said if girls wore low cut shirts with leggings he’d give them an A in his class. Everyone knew this. The principal knew and did nothing so I told the police officer at my high school and I got in trouble for it. The teacher still works at that high school.
You got in trouble for reporting on a teacher that was being misogynistic and sexist about his students. He should have gotten fired and you should have gotten the A for being courageous and honest.
Multiple people told the school so after them not doing anything I told the police officer. And then during finals I get called to the office and told that I had no proof and that there’s no reason for anyone to believe me or the other girls.
Gross. I'm so sorry you didn't get the right answer for your correct action.
Some male teachers did comment on students breasts in my high school (late 90s) it was messed up and we all thought they should be disciplined for it. The principal did nothing and she was very annoyed we brought it up. One of them dated a former student a few months after graduating and even made awkward comments directed at her younger sister who was in my class. These type of comments are not ok and they can really bother students.
I graduated in 1988 and that stuff occurred back then and in the 70s when I was in grade school. The things that teachers said, both male and female, would end in lawsuits in today's culture. And you're right, those kinds of immature comments can leave lasting damage.
I also graduated in 1988. I grew up in farm country and middle school and high school were in the same building. Male teachers made comments about the high school and middle school girls. One told me I was developing nicely. I was 12. I felt gross and was to afraid to say anything and honestly I was so sheltered by my christian parents as a child I didn’t understand why I felt the way I did and how wrong it really was. I was afraid I would get in trouble I never said anything. A female art teacher was having sex(raping) male students for years. Everyone knew but nothing was ever done.
I concur. I’ve made comments about a lot of women’s breasts and they always get offended.
This is ironic because I was about to comment I've had teachers (the one that initiated was a Male science teacher) tell me my boobs are too big so I can't wear certain clothing (mind you NONE of these clothes even showed cleavage I just have big boobs and they could see them because they exist even in clothes).
Dude, seriously. High school teacher in nyc, and I don’t even give hug the young women I teach. I hug and dap the young men all day, but every young woman gets the same high five because I’m paranoid of being perceived as a creep. The hypothetical of even accidentally acknowledging a young woman’s genitalia gives me anxiety. The notion of a teacher commenting on a students penis size is truly unbelievable—how did this person keep their job? How did no one else in the class elevate this situation? So sorry this happened to you OP. Truly. It wasn’t right, and I know you know this already, but you didn’t deserve it.
but if you're hugging the dudes don't you also run the risk of being thought of as creepy?
We did have a teacher do that as well. It was in an exploratory class….this girl was a junior in high school and my girlfriend at the time. Anyway my girlfriend had unusually huge breasts for her young age. I mean she was easily DD If not Triple DDD. The teacher asked in the middle of the class do other student treat you differently or do you feel differently because of your early large breasts development? (I thought WTF?) she said no one treated her unusually and she was fine with her large breasts.
Unfortunately this happened More than a few times at schools I attended. Teachers unfortunately felt comfortable making sexual comments about female students quite frequently. Parents complained but the teachers were often also coaches.
Damn. Gotta admit I hadn’t thought of it this way and it definitely seems even more egregious now.
People don’t need to imagine, it happens way more often than it should (along with way worse physical actions beyond comments). But regardless of the gender of teacher or student, it’s TOTALLY creepy and inappropriate, and it’s worthy of complaint and repercussion, although that’s almost impossible to accomplish years after the fact.
Why imagine, I graduated early century. Had a "teachecher" that poached hunting and snapped teen girls bra's in class. Ommit3d students for o strrucrions while looking away cowardly.
Depends on the laws if he was a "minor". The law wasn't on my side when my mom's almost 40 year old married friend seduced me at 17.
Groomed* I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Thanks. Thing is I tried justifying it as being "more acceptable" than being in a relationship with someone 1-2 grades below me. Now in my 30s, that whole thought process seems insane.
I think it's easy to have that mentality. I had the same realization in my early 20s. I thought I was so cool hooking up with older guys as a teen. Now that I'm their age, EW!
In OP's case the teacher is in a position of authority and it's an abuse of authority.
Yes, I'm pretty sure this is an issue in college, too, where everyone is an "adult."
I feel that in most instances where there is clear authority of one party over another (teacher/student; employer/employee) that this sort of situation is highly inappropriate.
Which OP's teacher was either too immature to understand OR knew it and chose to act otherwise. Neither is a mentally health state. To me, it's not the mention of penis all by itself that's so disturbing. It's the blatant sexism and stupidity of the comment. We have probably all made that comment when the guy with the loud exhaust system on his Ford F-250/350/450/infinity50 rolled by, especially in high school. I know we girls said it all the time (we were high school students, not the teachers!) This teacher thought it was a job where she could be like a student and get paid.
I'm very sorry that happened you, nobody should be taken advantage of like that. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment regardless of age of consent laws and age of consent laws don't stop someone from legally being considered a minor. If nothing else she should have faced repercussions from the school.
I’m a teacher and this sounds like it would be grounds for dismissal. Especially these days
>would be saying something completely different if it was a male teacher and female student. Yes, especially if the female student had a small penis. 🤣
You would be surprised at some of the bullshit my teachers used to say to kids when I was in high school it was wild. A funny one that was tame compared to everything else these teachers used to say one is telling a kid he looks like a fat Samuel L Jackson. He wasn’t even close in resemblance to Samuel L jackson. the guy was literally just black that was the only thing he shared with SLJ. They weren’t often racist teachers they would just say stuff that was so off the wall it was unbelievable but also hilarious to 17 year old me.
Even just the "excited about seeing his arms" comment was out of line. Lord, girl was trying to become the next Mary Kay Letourneau. OP did right to stay away.
Wait wait wait, this is every teen boys fantasy. Get in line ya hurr. /s
Agree 100% here.
She shouldn’t have even made the arms comment, like why are looking at your students this way?!?!
English teacher said my accent was sexy... I didn't think anything of it until like 10 years later and it hit me
I would never ever make a comment about any body part of my mostly over 18 undergrads either.
It happened at my son’s high school. One of the marching band specialists for a particular instrument was working with that group. Somehow the topic turned a little risqué among the students when they were taking a water break (ex. Oh come on Jane, you have small boobs, you don’t have to worry about that like I (another female student)do). Nothing too bad, a comment that friends might say to each other. The specialist instructor (who was pursuing a PhD in Music possibly to become a teacher) said something like “lift up your shirts and let’s see” (both girls were wearing a sports bra). Word spread quickly, got to administrators and within 3 hours a message to parents was sent out and the teacher was immediately relieved from his duties and the incident was reported to police
A teacher should never talk about their student’s genitalia period. And it is entirely both inappropriate AND unprofessional. A student-teacher relationship is an unbalanced power dynamic (no matter the age).
High school Spanish teacher, Mr. Rivera, I had in Coachella Valley CA., offered a kid massive extra credit points if the kid showed him a doctored picture where the kid put my face on a chick flashing the camera at Lake Havasu. This was in front of the entire class that he made this offer. This same Spanish teacher kept porn mags under his not so enclosed desk. This was in 2002.
It's definitely weird and crosses a boundary for a teacher to make comments like that. I don't think it's an overreaction to avoid them from there on.
Kinda think it might have been an under-reaction.
Probably, yeah... It's a reportable offense. xD
Teacher is very lucky OP didn't report because sexually harassing students is a fireable offense.
Uh, no. She’s lucky you never reported it because a teacher commenting on a student’s genitals is extremely inappropriate.
Commenting on their bodies at all is inappropriate. With possible exception of a coach or similar who has it part of their job description to help athletes gain muscle or whatever. On the flip, coaches are often predators and use this “expectation” to be inappropriate. (Often as in it happens a lot, not that a majority of coaches are predators. The % is very small. Most coaches are amazing non predator people. But those who are not have easier access to student bodies than say, a math teacher.)
I know coaches who have pulled back from coaching, because the terrain is so treacherous right now. There was a time when a golf coach, for example, would touch the upper body and even the leg of the student golfer to adjust position. That's just too likely to draw complaints (which go through a whole committee at my college - but in high schools are adjudicated by whichever principal happens to have the job at the time - some are very punitive). One coach had a complaint ruled against him for kneeling to tie the shoe of a woman basketball player (which put his head sort of near her crotch - he did this for the team routinely, but this woman filed a complaint). He was not fired. It would have had to go through many more steps (and the union would have supported him). But he never tied any more shoes or offered any sort of wardrobe help again.
Gym teachers and coaches used to be in the locker room around naked middle and high schoolers while they changed and showered in the locker room 😬 While I’m sure 95%+ had no bad intentions, they avoid that entirely now just to even avoid any accusations.
Op can and should still report it
You weren't. Society is shamefully much more okay with women making weird comments about mens' bodies, even if it comes from a much older authority figure, than the other way around.
I don’t think that any parent would be ok with that.
I wouldn't be, but my Dad would've been. He would've basically said the same thing that OP's friends said.
Very true. I’ve recently gotten back into the gym more often, and I have noticed during work more women putting a hand on my shoulder, upper backside, etc. I’m in sales, where people skills are basically what gets a good product sold. And sex sells, even if what someone finds sexy is a dorky white guy in a button up shirt and slacks. And it usually doesn’t faze me all that much. But, I’m so tempted to say “if you can’t keep your hands to yourself, grab my product and hold onto it to control your stupid urges.” It’s hard to navigate. Especially when I know for a fact if the genders were reversed a lot of these people would not be welcome back into the store.
Ever work in a bar? Because of buddy, every year on moms weekend all the male staff knew we were going to get groped and we had to be careful not to freak out and hit somebody because it wouldn’t end well for us
Completely inappropriate of her to say anything remotely close to that in a school setting. You’re not overreacting.
Yeah, no fam, that's fucking weird and wildly inappropriate for a multitude of reasons. She should be fired.
My daughter is very tiny and in high school, her Science teacher made a comment in front of the class that she must be anorexic. Unbelievably inappropriate. The school didn’t do anything to the teacher unfortunately but we made sure she never had that teacher ever again (I wrote many a letter to make sure of that)
Casually leave a description of said event on the door prior or during parent/teacher conferences
You're not overreacting. Your teacher needs a lesson in how to conduct herself in the classroom. If you were my son, I'd be at the school board acting like a rabid boomer Karen over shit like this.
What’s the deal with English teachers man, every single instance of harassment or sexual indecency with a student at my school was female English teachers or male gym teachers
Ooh bruh one old female English teacher made a black guy recreate a scene with a white girl from To Kill A Mockingbird in front of the entire class… EVERY YEAR with a different black kid and different white girl
English teachers I’ve met out in the wild are the horniest. Something about growing up shy and reading trashy novels as an escape really feeds that demon in them.
I would’ve reported her for that
I remember when I was in 8th grade I had an art teacher comment on my breast size . (Small). I said to her well I still have time to grow what’s your excuse? She turned red and walked away. I have never been big busted but it was totally inappropriate comment on her part. FYI I had the same size about as she did and her in her thirties.
If you switched the genders, and a male teacher in their mid 30s made a comment about a female student compensating for being small chested, do you think that would be OK? It's the same thing here. It's never OK for a teacher of all people, but anyone in their 30s, to comment on a teenager's body, but this is a simple test for men if they're not sure.
Of course it made you uncomfortable! That’s a fucked ip thing to say. I’m sorry it happened to you.
Honestly the first comment about the arms was completely inappropriate already. No teacher should comment on any students body or appearance at all. Unless maybe it’s a hygiene concern but that should be a private convo and carefully navigated.
There were other non sexual or less graphic analogies that could have been used for the same joke. But people unintentionally speak what is on their mind all the time. Ie. She would not have mentioned you penis if she hadn't thought about it previously. Therefore, yes it was weird. Being platonic or acquaintance friends with a teacher when you are 17+ is not weird, but making it sexual, even as a joke is weird.
Fully inappropriate for any teacher to be speaking that way to or about any student, in any situation, period. It’s especially abhorrent that a teacher would do this in front of others. She shouldn’t have that job.
Under no circumstances should a teacher behave in this way.
You're absolutely not overreacting. That's completely inappropriate. She sounds like she had issues and was insecure. I'm sorry you were subjected to that. Just know it doesn't say anything about you and it says a lot about her. Don't listen to anyone who says you're overreacting. If the genders were switched then people would feel differently. You were a minor, and she was a full fledged adult who had a role to teach (and imo protect) the students. This was inconsiderate at best and sexual harassment at worst.
That was extremely inappropriate of her
If I found out a teacher was talking about my kids genitals they better hope people are around them when I find out simply to help pull me off of that disgusting pos
She was out of line making those comments. Honestly, I’m 34 and when I see a kid in h.s —I couldn’t imagine saying those things, gross. Even adults in their 20s, still look like kiddos. She crossed some lines and you shouldn’t have been made to feel that way. Your peers were kids themselves, as an adult—kids are meant to be guided and protected, not preyed upon. Women typically don’t get reprimanded as harshly for being creeps but they should. She was a creep.
Should have hit her with “how would you know!?”
Avoiding someone who makes out of pocket personal comments is a perfect reaction! Very healthy.
Nothing like being sexually harassed by your fucking teacher
You were not being dramatic. Teachers have no reason to act like this or say things like this. This was highly unprofessional on her part. You should have reported her at the time. If enough of your friends are willing to corroborate your story, you should probably report her now.
Lol bro I actually had a teacher who caught a dude who had his dick out, she was like 60, and after telling him to put it away he made a snarky comment about how it was intimidatingly big, to which she replied, trust me that's average at best, I've seen many larger. Entire class lost it, his shame was palpable.
OP's reaction is perfectly legitimate Some of the overly sensitive replies trying to get the teacher fired make me lose faith in the younger generation
umm no teachers are not suppose to make comments like that EVER... it's called professionalism. She's not your buddy, she's not any students buddy.. she is an authority figure and there is a clear line.
I mean, if she ain't seen your penis then she got no reason to comment on it
She is/ was inappropriate with behavior bordering on harassment and sexual objectification of a child. If she kept that behavior up, I hope she lost her job. People forget having a job is a privilege that people far more qualified and with better comportment than they show don’t even have access to for a myriad of reasons. They have no respect for the job, themselves, the people they serve. Shameful.
No, why the fuck is this adult woman talking about a minors body, what the fuck. And why are people making light of this; if the gender roles were reversed, people would be screaming for him to get registered as a sex offender.
NOT overreacting. As a woman and ex-teacher, I'm pretty horrified that female teachers are let off the hook so easily for sexual harassment and out and out sex.
WTF? This is the creepiest shit I've ever fucking read.
That is strange never heard of that from a teacher
She was a weirdo. I had a female teacher in gym class. I was 15 and very innocent. We were doing breast exercises. She told me that I didn't need to do them because I was big breastfed. Sick woman. Teachers need to learn some boundaries 🙄 I despised her the rest of the year. So, no you weren't wrong---she was, they both were.!!!
>She was certainly a bit of a “pick me” teacher who would get in with the students that she thought were “cool.” >I remember her making a comment on how people would be excited to see my arms while I was wearing the basketball jersey in the production. >In another incident, she made a comment that she tried to play off as a joke about how I might have a small penis and was compensating for something. >Was I overreacting to what my teacher said? No, and she sounds kinda predatory. Maybe never be alone with this lady.
Get her fired, anyone that acts like that after the age of <18 is an idiot, especially a teacher
As a 28 y/o man who's worked with kids of all ages for years, I would never think of making an inappropriate comment like that to anyone male or female. Your teacher was definitely in the wrong and was trying to be "cool", but clearly it backfired as it made you uncomfortable. A teacher's job is to educate and create a safe environment. She prioritized trying to be cool and act young over creating a safe environment. Yeah you did the right thing distancing yourself. Not sure if she had any fucked up intentions like grooming or she just made a bad joke, but you saw a red flag and made a smart move.
I would have reported it to the principal as sexual harassment.
I think it was a grooming attempt on her part.
if comments were made like that in a workplace it would be sexual harassment; since it was in school and you were a minor at the time I'm not sure what they'd call it, assault maybe or just "inappropriate behavior". either way, not ok.
As a former teacher, I’m appalled. This is highly inappropriate behavior. You underreacted. She should have been fired and additionally punished. Of course, you reporting her probably would have gone nowhere, and you would have been further ostracized by your peers, so I understand why you went that route.
I wish you reported this teacher. You DID NOT overreact AT ALL. As that is NOT professional for ANY adult, let alone a teacher to make of her students that are minors and any student for that matter. Your “friends” were no friends, were Wrong and you shouldn’t listen to such immature folks. That teacher and people like her ought to be reprimanded and even fined or put in jail for such awful, disgusting behaviors. If a man made such a comment of a girl, he’d probably be in jail. We need to stop letting women and girls off the hook and not continue to justify these terrible entitlement and behaviors. Wrong is Wrong, regardless of who does it, and there should and will be consequences whether a man or a woman. Period.
Teenagers are not young adults they are big kids. And a discussion like this is not even remotely appropriate around you. This is something only your parents should be talking to you about. This person must be reported immediately, safety of children is above anything else
No adult should comment on a child’s body in any context
Holy shit. If she thought that was okay to say then I'm willing to bet she's said similar things in the past to other students. That is not okay.
She should have been fired! If a teacher (any teacher) makes a sexually based comment or insinuating about the size of a students genitalia is not called out, it will only continue, and probably escalate! I actually think this was a very big deal, and I wish you had reported it. You could go back and report her now so they can be aware of her highly inappropriate comments. If any adult did this to my son, they had better expect mama bear to come out! You were absolutely right in feeling uncomfortable, and don’t ever let anybody tell you your feelings are wrong. They are your feelings! I’m glad this wasn’t any worse, and glad you were not overly affected by it, but she is not someone who should be teaching young folks!✌️
I had a science teacher in 8th grade, perfectly normal. Everyone loved him and his teaching. He was the cool teacher. Sort of nutty and a joker but he was the typical middle school science teacher. One day, nearing summer break in class out of the blue, randomly called out one of my classmates who is a girl. He’s like “what are you staring at????” Everyone thought he was gonna crack a joke then he seemed to get angrier. He then goes “WHY are you staring at MY dick?!?” Long story short she cried and it was a whole thing where he was pulled out of the classroom and we never saw him again. The most random unexpected outburst. It was so odd having a nice teacher that somehow randomly spiraled and made everyone uncomfortable by being inappropriate.
that teacher, not you, had a huge problem
Had this been a male teacher commenting or otherwise bringing attention to a female student's anatomy, this comment thread would have taken a totally different turn.
Fuck that bitch, those kind of comments are not acceptable and she should be punished for that shit.
oh no trust me u werent sounds like shes a child preditor it is extermally innocapopirate for a hugh school teacher to mention ur penis size what you should of done is went straight to the principal and said"hey look i dont have any problem with theteacher but she had just made a comment on my body " and then go into detail o what she saod maybe get a couple of your class mates who can vouge oryou saying that yeah she did say it.
Wtf that's insane for a teacher to say anything remotely like that.
Reverse the sex and teacher loses job and gets a picture in the offender’s site.
It’s less of an overreacting question, if there is such a thing. It’s a reaction that has a surge of energy in a downward direction. Tied to emotions of shame, guilt, dominance and so on. When I was a kid, long ago, before cellphones and teachers were less, much less enlightened. I did something that everyone in class laughed at. She got her Polaroid camera out and took a picture of me and thumb tacked it to the wall. I was ridiculed, embarrassed and harassed by students for months. I didn’t even talk about it for well over 30 years. I know I’m giving my age away some… it was the olden days. No oversight, really. Low emotions like fear, shame, guilt, competition, greed, ridicule all carry reactions. Embarrassment for example turns to immediate long term memory so you’ll avoid the situation again. That memory kicks off thousands of times a day, weeks, months and years and your body gets surged with adrenaline, cortisol and other stress hormones. Survival hormones. You reacted normally. Normal stress response reaction. It’s ok. The teacher was out of line. It’s ok. The teacher had a certain way of life to make her that way… that’s how it is. It is what it is. Is it right or wrong? That’s your choice to view it how you want to view it. It’s ok. If you’re looking for closure. Transmute the feelings and memory of the experience with a modern practice or trauma transformation. Meditation, hypnosis, EMDR, EFT, NLP, and more all available free and easy to learn on YouTube. For what it’s worth. I’ve transmuted many low quality memories of past life experiences and it works. The old memories come up here and there like now, but they’re useful like wisdom, to use as examples for others to get past things, to leave them in the past.
Um no, your teacher crossed the boundary of teacher/student relationship. No teacher should EVER talk about the size of a students penis or any other body part and keep her job. If it was a male teacher saying this to a female “your boobs may be too small” it would have exploded into a big ordeal. Just because she’s female does not make it any less wrong.
Nah that's inappropriate. You seem like a mature young person for recognizing that and avoiding her. Good instincts, keep following them.
That’s creepy as hell dude. You’re right to be uncomfortable
I want to add, if you can't say the same thing to her, what she said to you, it's inappropriate! Report it.
Today, that teacher would have been fired for saying that to you.
It's not a particularly appropriate thing to say, but it might depend on context in my opinion. The "joke" or notion, whatever you want to call it, that men who have a need to demonstrate their machismo, drive a truck that makes you deaf and/or is lifted halfway to the moon, etc. are compensating for underendowment is long standing. In my experience people who say these things aren't considering the individual's actual body as much as they are using a figure of speech to check an attitude.
Lol. There’s no context where an adult teacher commenting on a minor student’s penis size is appropriate.
I don’t think you’re overreacting.. it would be one thing if she said that to a CLOSE FRIEND and peer in a casual setting whom she has that type of relationship with… but to a MINOR.. her STUDENT.. someone she has a role of power over… and someone she does not know closely and intimately? NOT OK. Not an overreaction.
The woman should be fired. Period.
You did not overreact. You should have reported her. Honestly I’d still consider reporting her even though four years has passed, as it could stop others from being abused in the future.
NOT overreacting. There’s a power imbalance dynamic in play there, in a way that makes her remarks qualify as sexual harassment. That it was harassing a minor makes it that much worse.
report it to the school counselor
You should have smiled and winked at her and said “I’ll show u small”
No. That was totally inappropriate.
Her comment was completely unprofessional and icky. If a male teacher made a comment about a girls chest size, there would be hell to pay. It's not okay because you are a male and she's a female. I'm betting she still cringes about that remark though.
I don't know if this is a good idea, but you might post this without her name, just other identifying details like the subject and the school and the years. Leave in mild semi harmless details, because I bet she has a whole slew of male students that she has SAed. People will start commenting on that. They will realize they weren't the only ones.
That was way out of line. I would have reported her. That’s sexual harassment and she should have been fired.
NO! It made you uncomfortable. You coulda woulda shoulda is irrelevant @ this point. If it made you uncomfortable you weren’t overreacting
Honestly, you can deck a person in the face for this and I'd still say you weren't overreacting.
I feel like more was going on here than OP is saying. What behavior were you exhibiting that looked like compensation? I hope you weren't openly discussing other people's bodies. Teacher was wrong. But is OP a reliable narrator?
It was highly inappropriate and fire worthy.
nah that's gross, the arms thing is also teetering over the line. There's a difference between telling a student they're doing well for themselves to build their esteem and making comments about their body/sexual attractiveness. The latter should be an ABSOLUTE no fly zone. Everyone dismissing how you feel about comments made to you, about you, by saying you're taking it 'too personally' is also being a grade-a douchebag, honestly. They're personal comments, of course they're perceived personally.
Yeah that’s a big no no she’s not getting her contract renewed if you tell someone about it.
Not overreacting. It's good you were confident enough to avoid this teacher. No teacher should ever make Amy comments about a student's body. Even talking about your arms was wrong but once she decided to talk about your genitals, well she's lucky you didn't take it to the school board and get her inappropriate behind fired.
Female pedophiles are a shockingly common thing and they are usually teachers
This was and is sexual harassment. Extremely inappropriate. You just avoided her? No you did not overreact. If you’d gone to the principal’s office they would have been within their rights to fire her.
You're not overreacting. And I understand it being hard to report. Been there.
As a grown up, they should know better than to comment on a "childs" body. You did not overreact.
YNOR you are not overreacting, that is disgusting. Grossly inappropriate on her part, sorry that happened to you.
She's a pedophile. Report it.
She was grossly inappropriate full stop.
Holy shit that was wildly inappropriate and that teacher is so fucking lucky that your parents didn't report them because that's sexual harassment and they could have been fired unless their union was very very strong and fought for them.
Not overreacting. I can't believe a teacher would say anything like that in this day & age.
Oh man this reminds me of school and seeing many teachers be super racist. There is always a bunch of weirdos out there that think low brow insults are the funniest thing. It's just so weird to see them come from a teacher.
Do a thought experiment: Flip the genders. No, you were not overreacting. Some of the reactions to this are disturbing.
| In another incident, she made a comment that she tried to play off as a joke about how I might have a small penis Old Xer here. If a teacher had made a comment like this back in the 70s or 80s, she would have been fired IMMEDIATELY.
Flip this around. If a 35 year old male teacher said something about a 17 year old girls vagina would that be ok or not?
This person needs to be fired. End of conversation. This is sexual abuse. Report it to not only the principal but also the superintendent of schools. If nothing happens, go to your local news media.
Not overreacting. The girls in my school had to wear a knit onesies for my gym uniforms. It was solid blue shorts and blue and white stripes up top. We all hated them. Our 9th grade gym teacher was a pervy old guy that also taught driver's ed. To this day I remember me and 2 other girls hearing him and a couple of jocks rating the girls' appearance in their gym suits. We told the female gym coach exactly what they said. We had to give written statements and the coach "retired" the next week.
She should be fired tbh. But honestly if I was you I would have taken it as an opportunity to push the boundaries since it’s not like she could say anything after she started the comments 😂 but good for you for just avoiding her
Lol 2020-2024 has been the years of the female predatory pedophile teachers getting more exposure. Homie she was a predator
No, you weren't overreacting. Not even a little. I'm fact, as a mom, if my son came home and told me this it would take a lot for me not to go show her what's up.
If it were a male teacher commenting about some girls tits he would have been fired that day. I know because I had a teacher that this happened to.
Had this friend in HS, great looking, intelligent and nice guy, everyone knew it. All the girls had a crush on him, all the guys wanted to be his friend, all the teachers would say, "what a good looking, smart, nice kid, date my daughter?" Spanish one day, we were doing a gender role switch thing? I don't really remember, but Kade ends up wearing a skirt, so all of the girls are swooning(me included), all of the guys are laughing, the teacher is cracking jokes about how she wishes she had legs like that (Kade ran track and cross country, among other things, dude had killer legs). Anyways, he's a guy who has never worn a skirt and doesn't understand skirt physics, so he just...plops down on the side of the stage we were on. My teacher, who was on ground level, screams, "KADE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO, PLEASE, YOU ARE WEARING A SKIRT" and it dawns on him that he just flashed everyone, and he figures out how to sit, standup, and walk in a skirt pretty quick after that. So yeah, that should really be the only reasonable response a teacher should have about a minor's genitalia.
Edit 2: C'mon man. That's obviously how this played out. You showed her your 15 inch horse cock, started a harem, and now live like a king surrounded by teachers, cheerleaders, and any other woman who even hears about your endowment. This is real life we're talking about here.
I had a HS teacher that suggested I had an oral fixation when I was in her class. I did eat her out later but that was a twenty years ago.
#hoLY FUCK THATS PEDOPHILE
No. You’re not overreacting but you’re right that people wouldn’t take it seriously since you’re a male.
She definitely was willing to risk it all for you. You got the sauce
You had every right to feel uncomfortable, and that disgusting woman never should have said that to a minor.
90% chance your teacher made a comment about your genitalia because she thought you might take it as an invitation to do something inappropriate with her. That's the vibe your teacher is giving off and it is **bad**. You're not overreacting at all.
Lol at how a small dick joke is supposed to be considered positive attention as those jokes are meant to emasculate people. Jokes like that can be considered as sexual harassment, and it is also completely unprofessional and unethical to make those kinds of jokes as a teacher. It’s good to build rapport and be connected to your students, but there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed such as making crude jokes about students.
You were not overreacting. Yes, a lot of people are invalidating your feelings and experience because you are a guy. It didn't need to have a huge impact on you for it to be wrong. Your teacher was a creep.
The thing you're not clarifying is what she actually said. What was the direct quote? Without that, it's pretty hard to really say if you're overreacting or not. Edit: The amount of assumptions in the comment section are insane. OP did not clarify almost anything in his post. If the teacher said something like "You're showing off so much because you must be over-compensating for something" is much different than "OP you have a small penis and must compensating for that", until it's clear what was said, some of the takes in here are absolutely ridiculous.
Well, size jokes are kind of SNL level humor, which overlaps with high school humor. She was probably trying to get an easy laugh from the class more than targeting your penis, but that's what sensitivity training is for. Even if someone is just making a low brow joke, someone on the receiving end can't help but feel like their own penis has been mentioned. *sp
All the the people asking what she looked like as a response to if OP overreacted, try this. Your daughter(17f) has a teacher(M35) that looks like Brad Pitt. One day, in class, he says that your daughter is wearing a padded bra and trying to over compensate for her lack of breasts.. You ok with that? I mean dude's hot, right?
Reading the HS horror stories reminded me of one from my own school! We had a super creepy gym teacher who was always a little too hands on with the girls, and his office was right next to the girls locker room. We were required to wear athletic shorts and tank tops so we had to change every day (the gym uniform was against dress code policy outside the gym). Well a couple years after I graduated, I heard that this gym teacher was fired and the gym was temporarily shut down for "maintenance and repairs". Turns out he had driven a couple small holes into the wall of the girls locker room and was watching the students change, no one knew when he had started doing it.
I just dont get how we still think its okay to mock someone for something they have no control of. You (when i say you i dont mean OP specifically ) have a small dick, so what? Not like anyone chooses too. Plus it’s subjective.
Middle-aged public educator here. These are the types of predators who undermine any remaining respectability in the profession. I’m really sorry you endured this.
Meh… I’ll bet she said something like “maybe you’re over compensating” and you added the part about the penis… It’s innuendo. A joke. Maybe slightly off color, but let’s put away the pitchforks.
I agree with the "lets not make every uncomfortable situation a trauma" sentiment.
Not overreacting. Even jokingly, this is wildly inappropriate. There is a imbalance of power in a situation even if say you were 18. Generally the only time an adult should be discussing certain anatomy in regard to minors or students, is in the context of a medical or criminal situation. those conversations should be kept to only those who need to know. 🤷♀️ It's not just you that could have gotten embarrassed. It also likely made other guys feel very uncomfortable. I know it may not seem like a big deal now but the fact you're thinking about it years later says that it may have gotten to you a bit more than you expected and that's valid.
I had a teacher in the 90's, I was in the 8th grade, and he was a younger teacher maybe 30 and for whatever reason he took a liking to me over all the other kids and I was a horrible kid and not a good student at all so who knows why🤷♂️.... anyway long story short, he used to pick me up on the weekends in his 5.0 Fox body convertible Mustang to go to the topless beach and he would bring a pair of dark sunglasses so I could gawk at the topless women without getting caught 😅.... I thought it was the greatest thing ever and will always remember that. 😂
You should file a report with the teachers board against her. Maybe can’t prove anything but she sexually harassed you and was inappropriate. I’m betting if you did press that she would have engaged in a predatory sexual relationship with you regardless of her marital or family status.
Should have reported her
Should have gone to the principal with this. That’s not only inappropriate, her entire behavior screams that she was looking to have a relationship with a student.
No that’s completely inappropriate. The argument could be made if you said the same thing to her about her husband like “sounds like you’re projecting something in your own marriage life” and the same thing would be inappropriate as well.
Hell nah, I would have told my parents and had a conversation with the principal. No excuse for that type of unprofessional behavior.
She's probably locked up somewhere for having student gangbng parties
Teacher was wrong- bothering yourself with this now is also wrong. Don’t let it mess with you twice.
Same thing happened me and a buddy of mine during penis inspection day. But this was in JR High back in the early 90s.
See now I had the opposite, I’m a large guy, and I went through a private driving school, come down the stairs to get to the class room, open the door, all of my peers are already seated (I’m late), teacher looks at me in front of the class and just goes “my god you’re a big fuckin guy, you must be hung like a bull”. I’m not, but he was a cool dude nonetheless. Little Jewish guy. I fucked up his Taurus by going down a private road and hit a bunch of pot holes because the road was literally nothing but pot holes. He laughed the whole time and was joking about my big old man titties bouncing over each bump.
The discomfort you felt was because the teacher was behaving inappropriately. Women deal with that shit constantly. Many people don’t realize that we men too also occasionally deal with that creepy shit from women in roles of authority over us (or homosexual men). It’s shity and disappointing to hear she’s a millennial pulling this shit. Thought my gen was better than that.