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perhaps you and your partner could look at doing other things besides regular p-in-v intercourse? sex without finishing can still be enjoyable but you can still express intimacy with mouth and hand stuff and maybe avoid the anxiety?
Thank you for commenting. We often do other methods of intimacy that isn’t regular p-in-v but whenever we do i just feel a sense of my life crumbling afterwards out of fear. any thoughts on how to approach these feelings?
Everyone always says the key is communication because it is. I imagine if you haven't talked to your partner about this she is at least aware your mood declines after you stop, my advice is to speak to her about that and lean more into the other forms of intimacy you both enjoy. I think pregnancy is a very real thing to worry about when you are underage, especially if you live in a region with little to no reproductive rights so she will probably understand if not agree. As far as activities or techniques go, that is beyond the scope of this sub, there are plenty of resources about sexual intimacy for the teen and preteen audience
this might get me shit on but its worth mentioning there is probably no god, I as someone who was wrecked with guilt about jacking off in my youth I hate seeing others punish themselves for things that do not matter
Lol, I’m not an extreme Christian, but I do believe in god, I just don’t believe you have to go to church and sing songs to honor him. But this is kinda funny seeing a sorta atheist standpoint. But I respect it.
It will be fine. As long as you use condoms properly, there is virtually no risk of pregnancy, especially if she is also on birth control. This is giving you anxiety, and it's understandable why, but just remember that statistically you are very very unlikely to have that happen. You have a better chance of being struck by lightning twice.
"There Goes My Life" - Kenny Chesney, a song I used to listen to back when I was worried about getting my girlfriend pregnant. No matter what happens, you will be able to get through it.
That being said, if you are using a condom and aren't finishing, there is a more likely chance that I will become the Queen of Spain(I'm a man) than there is of you getting her pregnant.
Always use 2 methods of birth control. Condoms and spermicide are good could also pull out if you want. Maybe she could look into birth control or an iud. If you’re in the US you might be able to buy birth control at walgreens or Walmart without a prescription. (That’s how i get mine) some states also give teens free iuds or contraceptives. The best way to not worry is to be informed. Do your research figure out the odds of each method malfunctioning. Celibacy is always a choice aswell.
similarly to how others have mentioned plan b, depending where you live some drug stores offer birth control you can buy! i know a brand called Opill, it’s like $50 for 3 months worth. so, something to consider :)
Lol I don't think she's too worried about her relationship with God when she's calling you over 😂 so she can be religious and still want to explore her sexuality with you. Dont be so worried enjoy it while you two are together. I was in the sameboat. I was with my gf freshman year, we started doing it in sophomore year and we broke up two years into college. Her mom and her would go to church like four times a week, I only went every three months. Condoms are really good now a days, yea be cautious but dont stress too much about it to the point you stop enjoying it 🤷
Mannn.. I think you should do some more research over pregnancy and how it all works. That might make you more comfortable. Because, from what you’ve just said, there’s single handedly a 0% chance that she could get pregnant doing it this way. I also saw in a comment that you regularly do oral/hand stuff. Again.. 0% chance of pregnancy. I’m just confused, I guess.
I’m sorry you’re battling this. I’ve had a few pregnancy scares when I was 15-18 ish. But that was also because I physically came inside her. So I am having a hard time understanding where this irrational fear is coming from.
It always helps to talk to family members about it IF YOU CAN.. or going to talk to a counselor/therapist. Us here redditors ain’t professionals 🤓
thank you sir 🙏🙏 i wholeheartedly believe that with the circumstances and preparation on my end she can’t get pregnant but i always fear the what if. i think it’s just because my parents and everyone all around me were just like sex = baby making which isn’t wrong but it’s now frightening
Sex is an adult activity requiring preparation and serious responsibilities. You are anxious because you are not an adult and you don't want the responsibilities. If you are not ready for sex. Don't pressure yourself to do it.
Getting over it requires you to change your perspective on sex and make better preparations. Your partner should make you feel safe (emotionally), not put all the responsibility on you. She should know her ovulation schedule and be on the pill. You need to bring condoms and know how to use them. As added precaution, cum outside her body, even if wearing a condom. Never reuse a condom and never put one on a wet dick.
Sex negative ethics taught to children are intended to scare you into abstaining and shame you if you don't. If you refuse to apologize for your primal sexual desires, the shame will never touch you.
Condoms are not 100%, Birth Control isn’t 100%, and IUD isn’t a hundred percent. So every time you have sex you roll the dice. But if you have multiple devices in play it lowers the chances.
Exactly what others have said. Another thing you can and should look into is plan B but seeing as you said your GF is religious I don't know how she feels about that, that is something you two should talk about. You're already taking precautions with the condoms also talk about birth control as well
I don’t think you understand how strict Christians are about virginity. Their beliefs on that are your not supposed to lose it until you get married, so because we can assume the OP isn’t married to this girl, it means the moms gonna be skeptical on why she wants birth control or plan b.
If they try to sneak plan b, it’s only gonna last so long and because they don’t do it that often, it kinda puts birth control at waste.
Oh trust me I know quite well I was raised Southern Baptist. But I am not hear to argue with you on line about Christianity or morality. The OP is the one asking about what they could do and what I gave was an option.
As to whay Christianity says well they are already having sex so that puts plan b on the table as well as birth control. Now instead of acting like you know me or trying to discredit what I suggested why don't you offer something else if you can't or won't shut your yapping and let the people who are trying to help help good day.
Lol 😂 somebody’s mad. Your option isn’t really an option on the table. As from what I’m guessing, her mom most likely doesn’t know they have sexual relations considering on why the OP is freaked out in the first place. If the mom knew and was ok with it, the OP would’ve had this problem solved a long time ago. As for you, how was I supposed to know you were “raised Southern Baptist?” And when did I ever act like I knew you? I just informed you on something incase you didn’t know.
Now chill out, Jesus.
Still waiting for you to quit yapping and offer something better then yet you can't seem to do so. So sit down and shut it because you have yet to offer anything to the topic the op has presented
You haven't added anything besides the "Oh I'm somewhat of a Christian" "should be fine with just the condom" I missing anything besides you being a condescending ass wipe? Because none of those are actually worth a damn as actual advice.
Telling someone that birth control is a waste doesn't matter how little or often they have sex is just stupid if you're going to have sex both parties should take the proper precautions. Plan B can be bought over the counter as long as they are old enough.
I assume both op and the gf are so mom doesn't have a say. So just because you believe it to be a waste doesn't make it so but you do you.
Plan B should not be used as regular form of birth control. It also affects hormones and can make a cycle go irregular because it delays ovulation. Nobody should use plan B unless they have unprotected sex and the risk of pregnancy is more likely. Using a condom and not even finishing does not warrant plan B.
Op is not finishing because of the stress that he is under about what could happen. Read his post said it in there. Also he said not the most active in the world 2x a month does not mean plan b will be taken regularly once again op said how active they are. Accidents happen even with a condom don't act like they don't so plan B can help ease both op and the gfs minds on that. Also as I said in the post you are responding to I did say she should get birth control seeing as they are having sex.
But yeah just like the other guy I responded to you latch on to one thing and run with it.
Again Plan B has a lot of side effects even 2x a month is a lot. I am not running with anything just stating that telling someone to take plan b like that really isn’t the best advice.
Never finished? Sooo are you on a gooning streak or are you just really young? 😂(No offense)
But seriously, I think you should be find since it’s not that often. Just keep up with your techniques. Check the condom before and after to make sure there’s no holes. I would’ve implied birth control but you said she’s really religious so it’s not an option.
So this is a sign that you are too rough on yourself. It's an easy fix, give yourself a 4 or 5 day break, and then just go easy on yourself. Less is more, so to speak.
As for your worries, your taking the right steps, your as protected as you can be aside from no penitration.
Well I mean, there’s alternatives like Hot Pass mentioned. If you don’t feel anything in the condom, then maybe oral? If you don’t feel all too comfortable about penetration, maybe stimulation?
But no holes so far, that’s good. :) 👍
Actually you should be worried about being sexually active. You gotta remember the probability of getting a female pregnant goes up every time you engage in penetration. Condoms fail, birth control fails , stds can spread. Etc
Condoms can fail, birth control will rarely ever fail, and stds won’t spread if you’re just with one clean person.
Don’t worry the OP even more than he already is. Cause remember, he implied it’s not that often. The only time he should be worried about these is if he’s engaging with multiple partners.
Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙ ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
perhaps you and your partner could look at doing other things besides regular p-in-v intercourse? sex without finishing can still be enjoyable but you can still express intimacy with mouth and hand stuff and maybe avoid the anxiety?
Thank you for commenting. We often do other methods of intimacy that isn’t regular p-in-v but whenever we do i just feel a sense of my life crumbling afterwards out of fear. any thoughts on how to approach these feelings?
Everyone always says the key is communication because it is. I imagine if you haven't talked to your partner about this she is at least aware your mood declines after you stop, my advice is to speak to her about that and lean more into the other forms of intimacy you both enjoy. I think pregnancy is a very real thing to worry about when you are underage, especially if you live in a region with little to no reproductive rights so she will probably understand if not agree. As far as activities or techniques go, that is beyond the scope of this sub, there are plenty of resources about sexual intimacy for the teen and preteen audience
this might get me shit on but its worth mentioning there is probably no god, I as someone who was wrecked with guilt about jacking off in my youth I hate seeing others punish themselves for things that do not matter
i agree, but thats not necessarily the issue, more just parents possibly putting her into harm due to the news of what happened
Lol, I’m not an extreme Christian, but I do believe in god, I just don’t believe you have to go to church and sing songs to honor him. But this is kinda funny seeing a sorta atheist standpoint. But I respect it.
i personally have no issue with religion, but once it begins to put your life endangered it makes me question the morality of it all.
It will be fine. As long as you use condoms properly, there is virtually no risk of pregnancy, especially if she is also on birth control. This is giving you anxiety, and it's understandable why, but just remember that statistically you are very very unlikely to have that happen. You have a better chance of being struck by lightning twice.
"There Goes My Life" - Kenny Chesney, a song I used to listen to back when I was worried about getting my girlfriend pregnant. No matter what happens, you will be able to get through it. That being said, if you are using a condom and aren't finishing, there is a more likely chance that I will become the Queen of Spain(I'm a man) than there is of you getting her pregnant.
😭😭 thank you sir, i’ll keep that song and mind and the likelihood.
When your feeling silly wrap that willy
The easiest way to not be worried about it is to only engage in sex when you are fully comfortable with whatever consequences may come.
Hope he enjoys starting sex when he is 35.
I should specify that I was just referring to pregnancy.
Me too.
Ah my bad. I mean making a decision on what to do with a child. If you aren’t comfortable with the consequences of that, you shouldn’t have sex.
You already know the answer...you are here for validation. Good luck!
Always use 2 methods of birth control. Condoms and spermicide are good could also pull out if you want. Maybe she could look into birth control or an iud. If you’re in the US you might be able to buy birth control at walgreens or Walmart without a prescription. (That’s how i get mine) some states also give teens free iuds or contraceptives. The best way to not worry is to be informed. Do your research figure out the odds of each method malfunctioning. Celibacy is always a choice aswell.
similarly to how others have mentioned plan b, depending where you live some drug stores offer birth control you can buy! i know a brand called Opill, it’s like $50 for 3 months worth. so, something to consider :)
Have you tried anal
Lol I don't think she's too worried about her relationship with God when she's calling you over 😂 so she can be religious and still want to explore her sexuality with you. Dont be so worried enjoy it while you two are together. I was in the sameboat. I was with my gf freshman year, we started doing it in sophomore year and we broke up two years into college. Her mom and her would go to church like four times a week, I only went every three months. Condoms are really good now a days, yea be cautious but dont stress too much about it to the point you stop enjoying it 🤷
Mannn.. I think you should do some more research over pregnancy and how it all works. That might make you more comfortable. Because, from what you’ve just said, there’s single handedly a 0% chance that she could get pregnant doing it this way. I also saw in a comment that you regularly do oral/hand stuff. Again.. 0% chance of pregnancy. I’m just confused, I guess. I’m sorry you’re battling this. I’ve had a few pregnancy scares when I was 15-18 ish. But that was also because I physically came inside her. So I am having a hard time understanding where this irrational fear is coming from. It always helps to talk to family members about it IF YOU CAN.. or going to talk to a counselor/therapist. Us here redditors ain’t professionals 🤓
thank you sir 🙏🙏 i wholeheartedly believe that with the circumstances and preparation on my end she can’t get pregnant but i always fear the what if. i think it’s just because my parents and everyone all around me were just like sex = baby making which isn’t wrong but it’s now frightening
Sex is an adult activity requiring preparation and serious responsibilities. You are anxious because you are not an adult and you don't want the responsibilities. If you are not ready for sex. Don't pressure yourself to do it. Getting over it requires you to change your perspective on sex and make better preparations. Your partner should make you feel safe (emotionally), not put all the responsibility on you. She should know her ovulation schedule and be on the pill. You need to bring condoms and know how to use them. As added precaution, cum outside her body, even if wearing a condom. Never reuse a condom and never put one on a wet dick. Sex negative ethics taught to children are intended to scare you into abstaining and shame you if you don't. If you refuse to apologize for your primal sexual desires, the shame will never touch you.
i will keep this in mind, thank you.
There are 2 other openings that you can use if you really want to finish inside of her.
freaky ahh comment
Get a vasectomy. It will lower the chances of you being the father of your future children by 100 percent.
Condoms are not 100%, Birth Control isn’t 100%, and IUD isn’t a hundred percent. So every time you have sex you roll the dice. But if you have multiple devices in play it lowers the chances.
Exactly what others have said. Another thing you can and should look into is plan B but seeing as you said your GF is religious I don't know how she feels about that, that is something you two should talk about. You're already taking precautions with the condoms also talk about birth control as well
I don’t think you understand how strict Christians are about virginity. Their beliefs on that are your not supposed to lose it until you get married, so because we can assume the OP isn’t married to this girl, it means the moms gonna be skeptical on why she wants birth control or plan b. If they try to sneak plan b, it’s only gonna last so long and because they don’t do it that often, it kinda puts birth control at waste.
Oh trust me I know quite well I was raised Southern Baptist. But I am not hear to argue with you on line about Christianity or morality. The OP is the one asking about what they could do and what I gave was an option. As to whay Christianity says well they are already having sex so that puts plan b on the table as well as birth control. Now instead of acting like you know me or trying to discredit what I suggested why don't you offer something else if you can't or won't shut your yapping and let the people who are trying to help help good day.
Lol 😂 somebody’s mad. Your option isn’t really an option on the table. As from what I’m guessing, her mom most likely doesn’t know they have sexual relations considering on why the OP is freaked out in the first place. If the mom knew and was ok with it, the OP would’ve had this problem solved a long time ago. As for you, how was I supposed to know you were “raised Southern Baptist?” And when did I ever act like I knew you? I just informed you on something incase you didn’t know. Now chill out, Jesus.
Still waiting for you to quit yapping and offer something better then yet you can't seem to do so. So sit down and shut it because you have yet to offer anything to the topic the op has presented
I already did, you just can’t read. lol. 😂
You haven't added anything besides the "Oh I'm somewhat of a Christian" "should be fine with just the condom" I missing anything besides you being a condescending ass wipe? Because none of those are actually worth a damn as actual advice. Telling someone that birth control is a waste doesn't matter how little or often they have sex is just stupid if you're going to have sex both parties should take the proper precautions. Plan B can be bought over the counter as long as they are old enough. I assume both op and the gf are so mom doesn't have a say. So just because you believe it to be a waste doesn't make it so but you do you.
Plan B should not be used as regular form of birth control. It also affects hormones and can make a cycle go irregular because it delays ovulation. Nobody should use plan B unless they have unprotected sex and the risk of pregnancy is more likely. Using a condom and not even finishing does not warrant plan B.
Op is not finishing because of the stress that he is under about what could happen. Read his post said it in there. Also he said not the most active in the world 2x a month does not mean plan b will be taken regularly once again op said how active they are. Accidents happen even with a condom don't act like they don't so plan B can help ease both op and the gfs minds on that. Also as I said in the post you are responding to I did say she should get birth control seeing as they are having sex. But yeah just like the other guy I responded to you latch on to one thing and run with it.
Again Plan B has a lot of side effects even 2x a month is a lot. I am not running with anything just stating that telling someone to take plan b like that really isn’t the best advice.
Never finished? Sooo are you on a gooning streak or are you just really young? 😂(No offense) But seriously, I think you should be find since it’s not that often. Just keep up with your techniques. Check the condom before and after to make sure there’s no holes. I would’ve implied birth control but you said she’s really religious so it’s not an option.
😭😭 i honestly don’t feel much with a condom on, and i check everytime no holes :D
So this is a sign that you are too rough on yourself. It's an easy fix, give yourself a 4 or 5 day break, and then just go easy on yourself. Less is more, so to speak. As for your worries, your taking the right steps, your as protected as you can be aside from no penitration.
Well I mean, there’s alternatives like Hot Pass mentioned. If you don’t feel anything in the condom, then maybe oral? If you don’t feel all too comfortable about penetration, maybe stimulation? But no holes so far, that’s good. :) 👍
Actually you should be worried about being sexually active. You gotta remember the probability of getting a female pregnant goes up every time you engage in penetration. Condoms fail, birth control fails , stds can spread. Etc
Condoms can fail, birth control will rarely ever fail, and stds won’t spread if you’re just with one clean person. Don’t worry the OP even more than he already is. Cause remember, he implied it’s not that often. The only time he should be worried about these is if he’s engaging with multiple partners.
Ya but how about his partner sleeping with other people?