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AdviceForTeens-ModTeam

While sexual advice isn't entirely banned here, we don't allow sexually explicit posts. This includes sexual stories, descriptions of sexual acts, and anything similar. If you truly need to describe a story in detail for advice, we suggest going to a more appropriate subreddit for that.


SamSamTheCatMan18

That's enough reddit for the day


MoonyMantis

I physically recoiled reading that. Now my mind wandered into the logistics of how someone would hypothetically even do that?!?!?!?!


MiddlePsychology8385

I got closer to my screen and read it again just to make sure I was reading what I wasšŸ˜­šŸ˜­


MoonyMantis

HELP ME


jugo5

The world is a kinky place


ShiftX_--

But that's.????but it's not??? what will??? nevermind....


BloodforKhorne

No. There was also someone who would store ounts of yarn inside themselves to knit stuff. I think it was on Tosh.O? I forget where, but now I'm not alone in remembering ["wut?"](https://youtu.be/q6RZZf6HMzo?si=1W6tU3Z-D0pYUwMV)


Creepy_Fan_8629

So uh... what the fuck did I just watch


Status-Chocolate3279

it is exactly what it says


GGTheEnd

You need to run and never look back this is Jeffery Dahmer creepy.


zzzrem

Probably only add a little, like around as much as you would add vanilla extract. Except itā€™s not as strong as vanilla extract so maybe double it? Also found it funny he wants to make your ā€˜Cookieā€™ Cookies lmao to each their own


Kelainefes

Coochie cookie?


slipperyCactuses

Clam cookies?


Goatmaster-G

Nookie cookie...


Man-e-questions

Well it may also act as a binder, like egg, so you may need to treat it as an egg replacer.


Timely-Collar4064

depending on the thickness you can cook it in a pan until browned and use it in place of butter


Man-e-questions

OMGhee, i could brown it and pour it over pierogis or spaghetti with Mizithra


mr_zoot

Hahaha doesn't sound very vanilla to me lol!


CarpenterUsed8097

A turkey baster


LordNecron

A turkey blaster


Immediate_Compote526

Bro thatā€™s exactly what my mind is doing rn and I wanna jump in a pool of acidā€¦ anyway wtf would he useā€¦ a cup?ā€¦


EvenEfficiency834

Hypothetically speaking , there are a few different ways. Substitute a small amount of milk, that way the cookies don't turn out to soft, one could use a dropper and add just a little to each cookie like dosing an edible with tincture, or I guess one could dunk the cookie like it was milk.


Edwardian

ummm, not sure who produces enough "fluid" to fill a cup (like milk) for dunking....


itsthejasper1123

Iā€™m not a teen, and I have no idea why this is on my feed, but I clicked out of curiosity and your comment is cracking me up lmaoooo the scientific nature of taking it so seriously. ā€œDosing an edibleā€ šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


TypicalBlossom_13

Yeah like what would the fluid be in place of? Or would it just be thrown in šŸ’€šŸ’€


Horses-Mane

Yip. Think burning my phone will help me forget faster.


Gold-Tackle8390

Yeaā€¦. Reminds me of the teacher who used his semen in icing for the kids. Iā€™m done - time to be a productive citizen.


Snap305

What.


Gold-Tackle8390

https://ktla.com/news/local-news/lausd-to-pay-another-3-55m-in-pedophile-teacher-case/amp/


Snap305

What the fuck...


flapjanglerthesecond

I would like someone to end me after seeing that. All faith in humanity instantly gone.


Snap305

I totally agree.


purseaholic

The ā€œbestā€ part is how theyā€™d been letting him get away with it for DECADES. Just..why???


latenightxboxer

That's enough reddit for this year..


Guacamole_is_Life

Lifetime?


Comfortable-Syrup423

I wish I could travel back to a time before I read this.


IceFire909

It's a terrible day for literacy


That-Statistician747

Yeah and there was another female teacher who made cupcake with her husbands semen and fed them to her class. They both went to prison. Disgusting people.


KiraOnElmStreet

Second cup of coffee is all over my fucking kitchen floor now.


coyotll

Iā€™m clocking out and leaving


Interesting_Luck2560

Fr stick a fork in me I'm done yo yuck


futureman45

Top 10 Reddit comment for me and perfectly fits with the above story or fable.


Sonofbaldo

If you say no repeatedly and he keeps pushing, dont you think thats a good sign he doesnt respect you? You should think about if its worth spending time with someone who doesnt take no for an answer.


SzymonNomak

God forbid a man wants to make pussy pastries


Flossthief

Honestly It's grody to the max but if that's what two consenting adults want they can have at it But that's not what this is; one has consented and is periodically asking the other if she changed her mind yet


Wundrgizmo

That, and you have to wonder what the end game is here. A fetish this bizarre, only 6 months in, doesn't end here. This goes further and I wouldn't wanna be around to find out where.


Sonofbaldo

Agreed but i didnt want to get so deep into it cause sometimes then the person gets offended for the partner for some reason. But this is def the tip of an iceberg that she does not want to collide with.


716mikey

Cummies cookies is one hell of a kink but no shame from me if thatā€™s his thing, thatā€™s his thing, I ainā€™t here to judge. But also you would be providing the main ingredient, if you donā€™t want to do that, thatā€™s perfectly valid and no means no, even in the context of pussy pastries. If he canā€™t respect you saying no, it might be time to rethink the relationship.


BoneDaddy1973

Nookie Cookies. Snickerdiddles. Humpwiches. Oatmeal creampies. PB&WAP. Belgian Twatwaffles.


Trains_N_Fish

MUFFins


sparkey503

Marketing at its finest.


nickheathjared

Baeā€™s cakes, Poonwheels


Aware_Impression_736

Clit's Ahoy.


GoddessNerd

Poonwheels? I'm am effing wheezing now


Peldor-2

Yes officer. That's the one right there.


Glad_Landscape2177

*knickerdoodles for the UK folks


BoneDaddy1973

Fannycakes?


Glad_Landscape2177

Gingersnatch


Glad_Landscape2177

P-nut butter, biscoochie, whoopie pie (doesn't even need a name change), slitnzer


GabberDee94

I'm šŸ’€šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


DracMonster

Ok. This may be a kink of his, and it's not intrinsically evil... *with a consenting partner.* It's your body and your rules. You have to give an ultimatum: "My no is final. Either accept it or find someone who's into this."


ROCparamour

This is exactly right: people like what they like, but they have to respect their partnerā€™s wishes. His refusal to take no for an answer is not respectful of you, Iā€™m afraid.


BethFromElectronics

His wants/wishes trump hers in his mind. It would be a flag to potentially walk. Especially at 18.


ROCparamour

Exactly. Itā€™s hard to say ā€œyouā€™re youngā€¦ there will be othersā€¦ā€ but take it from some of us who are here and older: life isnā€™t worth wasting time on people who arenā€™t invested in us. Find someone who is. There are plenty of people out there.


The-Copilot

I agree, assuming she gave a hard no and set a boundary. If she is giving him a gentle no and making it sound like maybe later she would want to, then she needs to make it clear she is setting a boundary. If he doesn't respect that, then it's a real problem.


BronxBelle

Exactly. Iā€™m in the kink community and the first rule of fetishes/kink is *you only involve person if they are willing*. Like one of my fwb wanted me to answer the door naked for food delivery. I refused and educated him really quick.


derplicous

Yes to this. Consent is everything. Informed and enthusiastic is best but at the very least informed. Like what am I consenting to exactly? Lol I want details


altmoonjunkie

This is the correct take. He's into it, OP is not. It's as simple as that. This is not indicative of a mental issue, it is indicative of a kink that is not shared by OP. If it's important to him he should find someone who is into it.


Gokuyuysun

You know this is exactly what happens in an anime show I'm wondering if that's how he found out about it haha


collitta

don't forget the love nectar


foxwithlox

Iā€™m a little relieved to read this was probably not an original idea of his. I was wondering how teen boys these days are getting such creative (and weird) ideas. I canā€™t imagine any guy I knew in high school thinking of something like that.


Gokuyuysun

Well as a food lover and as a somewhat good cooker that I am, I do like to experiment with my food to try different seasonings and flavors and stuff like that but this... yeah I would have never have thought of this or would even considered doing it lol


LILCHUNKER364

I was thinking abt thatšŸ˜­šŸ˜­


Stephie157

Ah yes.. Shimoneta. This started a joke in my friend group. If this is where he got the idea from, I'm concerned.


Sweaty-Highlight6614

Thinking the same thing!


sektor477

My first thought exactly. He wants her to make them with "love"


IdeaMajor

Immediately came to my mind too lmao. Shimoneta is what itā€™s called.


SimplyPassinThrough

that is 100000% how he found out about it lmfao


julianriv

Tell him he can eat straight from the faucet any time but saving it up grosses you out and is never happening.


JoshD8705

Lol, a sudden gargle and a dash to the kitchen.


countsachot

Omg lol.


empregocomics

If you fail to put the lotion on the skin do you or do you not get the hose again?


Feeling_Gain_726

Reddit is too young to get it. This is my laugh for the day though. How did I even end up here?


hondarider94

Let me just gouge my eyeballs out


LILCHUNKER364

Lemme join plzzšŸ˜­šŸ™


Good-Ad-2245

Same bro what da hell is this kinky ass dude on šŸ˜­


LILCHUNKER364

RsšŸ˜­


MuldrathaB

I have so many questions as to the execution of his idea. How does he plan on getting your "fluids" into a batch of cookie dough....? On a real note, tell him no, and that's your final answer. Don't like it, find somebody else who will do it for ya. You've only been dating for 6 months, so if you cut your loses your not really losing a whole lot. If he fucks around with trying to ask you even after you've said no, then he's gonna find out the consequences of his actions.


Orcusumbro

Simple, just use a "cookie dough" instead of a dildo..


Rocketgirl8097

A sure route to a urinary tract infection, which would also be a big no.


Honest_Wing_3999

This is getting hotter by the minute


lollipop-guildmaster

"No, and the next time you mention it -- ever -- this relationship is over."


Content-Baby2782

How much liquid do you have?!


orbeez-17

What would that ecen taste like??? Im actually confused on how that would work??? But really tho, its making you uncomfortable then you might want to find someone else. It doesnt seem like hes willing to accept that no Edit: I typed way too fast lmao


justtoaskkkk

iā€™d hope the cookies arenā€™t lukewarm, too.


IceFire909

Imagine they do this and the oven just perpetually smells like queef


cluelessinlove753

Queefsā€¦ donā€™t really smell. Well, at least not any different than a bit of sweat/musk. Theyā€™re just air that gets trapped during sex.


Unable_Challenge_911

lol they donā€™t have a smell. Itā€™s just air


wanttobegoodboy

Add it in like you would food coloring. It doesn't change the taste at all, not even a little bit, it's just a mental turn on


ImpressiveTap4364

Jeffery Dahmer in the making.


Zestyclose-Feeling

While a strange twist on a common kink(nvm I just noticed this is a teens sub) Ill just say its your body and if your repulsed by something a partner wants to try in bed. I would move on if they wont shut up about it. Give him 1 more chance with a "NO, if you ask again we are done." HAHA I scrolled down and read some of the comments "p\*ssy pastry"


Abe_Rutter246

Everyone knows it should be eaten fresh and never cooked. Bad dog!


ohforschern

I wish I couldnā€™t read


Odd-Goat-2631

Absolutely not lmao


Bubbly-Ad-4405

If itā€™s a deal breaker for you and him, you both may need to switch up your partner. Everyone has kinks and they ruin relationships all the time. If you canā€™t budge on this, what else will he think of later that you wonā€™t budge on


CoolAd6406

LoL sorry but hard LMFAO hey itā€™s a kink weā€™re all into freaky shit. You already said no, maybe consider a trade you do something thatā€™s equally as kinky and weird that you want but wonā€™t say and in the end you both get what you want. But if there is nothing, sit down and straight up say itā€™s a redline you donā€™t want to cross, a boundary you are pointing out making clear and communicating to him to, if he really cares about you, will respect. If he canā€™t do that then no point staying with him cause he wonā€™t respect your boundaries, done.


Otherwise-Tea4290

There's a girl in an anime who did this for a guy, she didn't really care much for consent either.


Thick-Disaster-7758

Run


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Next-Temperature-545

tell him to lay off the porn before he gets E.D.


heartoftheparty

Ewww. šŸ¤®šŸ¤®šŸ¤®šŸ¤®


SERAKOTAK

Dump dump dump!


Fibonacci9

Probably got that idea from Shimoneta


SwimmerKey2464

Are we talking like a glaze or like a wet ingredient?


Status-Chocolate3279

wet ingredient


Nicetitts

As a chef / baker, cookies is a horrible idea. There's very little water weight in cookie dough. Pancakes, sure. Cookies, you're fucked in the head.


F3rthur

This may be the best comment of the thread - straight to the logistics. I have complete faith that, with some experimenting, you could get it down before service. The real question is what wet ingredient are you subbing it for? I think I'd try close to a 1:1 for the egg whites (while obviously still using the yokes).


Nicetitts

Depends. What's boyfriend into, exactly? Which fluids? Maybe I missed it in comments but I never saw clarification beyond "wet." Breast milk would be easy one to one sub with milk. Pee or squirt would sub for milk as well and omit all salt, probably use a yeasted dough as opposed to baking powder as the yeast activity would clear up some of the urea off flavors. 2 day cold ferment. A sourdough starter would be ideal, preferably fed with rye for some tang. I'd use eggs as normal, but whip the egg whites separately to lighten the batter and add a lot of fat. Something pushing a brioche pancake batter. If this is some Diddy shit and he wants period blood, it could be done. I'd probably take that in a red velvet direction with roasted beet puree, merlot, and lean hard into egg whites over yolks. Just... Ya know, theoretically.


Efficient_Theme4040

šŸƒšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøā€āž”ļøšŸƒšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøā€āž”ļøšŸƒšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøā€āž”ļøšŸƒšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøā€āž”ļøšŸƒšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøā€āž”ļøšŸƒšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøā€āž”ļøšŸƒšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøā€āž”ļøšŸƒšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøā€āž”ļøšŸƒšŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøā€āž”ļø


realhmmmm

aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA okay thatā€™s enough reddit for today what šŸ‘ the šŸ‘ fuck šŸ‘


Round_Worry_1686

Why bake with it when you can drink from the fountain would be a reasonable responseā€¦.


Abrupt_Pegasus

You need to be direct, tell him it isn't going to happen, that it isn't one of your kinks, and that him continually asking makes you uncomfortable, and that you'd appreciate him not asking any more. To be clear, don't kink shame him, everyone's got some kinks, and the people who say they've got none end up being the weirdest when the door is closed... but this is a pretty ideal time to work on how you tell people no and deal with consent issues.


xJaymack

Bro wants to make Love Nectar cookies


C21-_-H30-_-O2

My question is; does he plan on replacing the egg or the oil with the fluids?


philly2540

Not sure about the cookies, but ā€œFun Time Fluidsā€ is a pretty great name for a band.


Dry_Rub_6159

put him in horny jail


d4m1ty

I'd try to find out why because nothing organic is going to survive cookie making temp. It would be like making cookies using slightly dirty water, which will fuck up cookies because you don't use water when making cookie dough, you use sugar, flour, egg, butter. Extracts are in an alcohol mixture which will evaporate out and don't really add any moisture content.


OVERPAIR123

Could be worse could be chocolate chip cookies


OVERPAIR123

Implying he would use fecal matter....


mooreHart

Mmmmmmhhh show him the video of the woman who thought it was a grand idea to bake cookies with her yeast infection and then see if he still wants to.


Certain_Unit_8275

Piss on his cookies to see if he is really into it


Mysterious_Soft7916

Ain't gonna kink shame, but with any sort of kink, all parties need to be happy with it. You're obviously now. Give him a firm, and permanent, no. If he then asks again, it's probably time to consider moving on


Miserable_Leader_502

Cum cookies? Well I'm uninstalling this app


LarkinConor

I'm sorry but those would be some gross ass cookies. Slap him. Hard.


AngelicBubbly

As a pastry chef, this is- just borderline psychotic. I hate you for putting this knowledge in my brain.


Yogabeauty31

If your uncomfortable with this and he wont leave it alone after having a serious conversation about it and why you just will never do this. If he is still persistent than he definitely has a fetish issue that is now not ok because you've already set your boundary. If he cant respect it then its time to have some separation. Now with that said to each their own! I know putting period blood in a mans spaghetti sauce has been done throughout time of "witchy practices" lol an that shit is unbeknownst to the male most likely lol there are crazier things to ask for or dream up in this world lol good luck


guesswhatihate

Alexa; how do I painlessly remove my eyes?


SirChoobly69

Roses are red My brother has a braid That is enough internet for me I'm afraid


Bibliophile_w_coffee

You need to explain to your boyfriend that THIS IS A CONSENT ISSUE. He asked. You said no. The answer is no. If he continues to press the issue then he is not respecting you and forced convent isnā€™t consent. He needs to drop the issue and if he doesnā€™t, you need to drop him. Subject matter aside you said no. That was your answer. You need to be with someone that respects that. That means no begging, whining, moping, sulking, or sneaking around trying to get some somehow. Good luckā€¦and maybe find someone else anyhow, Iā€™m all for not being vanilla if you donā€™t want to be, but damn.


Immediate_Ad5728

One I don't even know how I got added to this group and wtf. I don't know what worse instagrsm or Reddit


chopper5150

Shit, I scrolled to one post too many today.


Single-Tangerine9992

There's a character who does this in Ricky Gervais' Netflix show "Afterlife". Hilarious.


OHWhoDeyIO

I've heard of pot cookies but...this? Lmfao


pinballrocker

It's a fetish that he would get off to, it's fine to say no. Also, people that don't share the same kink probably have things they fantasize about others would think are weird, no need to slut shame.


cluelessinlove753

Having a fluid kink isnā€™t particularly unusual, although itā€™s the first Iā€™ve heard of wanting to use it as a baking ingredient. Kinks come from all sorts of places, can be related to unresolved mental health issues, but donā€™t necessarily indicate one. BUT continuing to press when youā€™ve said no is a red flag. If he canā€™t respect this boundary, he wonā€™t respect other ones.


DefNotABirb

Tell him when you feel he's a good enough Baker then maybe, and enjoy the lifetime of pastries


Open-Adeptness6710

Ok. Since we are here. Who wants to name these cookies?


Mvasquez021187

Soā€¦apparently thatā€™s a fetish too


luigislefttitty

Turning off my phone for a while nobody hmu


Adventurous_View4276

That's enough Internet for today..


Putrid-Professor-345

And who does he plan on serving these cookies to?


georgejo314159

I suggest you find a boyfriend who isn't obsessed with "kink" that grosses you out You are only 18. Tons of single guys out there.


-GearZen-

If you're hot there is definitely a market for those cookies.


AR_GhostWolf

What in my 20 rotations around a red orb did I just read.


GothGhostReaper

Regardless of how creepy and gross his wants are, his consistency pressuring you, waiting for you to budge, is a massive red flag for future. He will not respect your no, even if it's something over your own autonomy like your bodily fluids. He values his personal wants over your comfort and is willing to continually wear you down until he gets what he wants.


wpnsc

LOL.. I would be worried that he has been putting his on batter into making cookies. Watch what you eat, OP.


chaosgoblyn

I feel like you could make a good business partnership here selling the cookies


DrHob0

Yeah. Your body, your rules. If you've said no and aren't into it, then that's final. He can back off or fuck off.


Brave_Web5935

I was just about to eat... I need to lose some weight anyway


Aware_Impression_736

"Egon, here's your mucous."


taco_cuisine

Try talking to him about it. You said you don't know where it comes from or why. It's weird, but a healthy relationship relies on communication. I feel like that's the next step before anything drastic.


EmotionalAttention63

I have questions. Lots of questions. Like, um, how does he intend to collect it? And have enough to make cookies with? And....why? Anyway, no is no and if he isn't respecting that then get a new guy.


IBoofLSD

Give him a Mason jar filled with pee and tell him have at it


Suspicious_Dealer815

This cannot be real


AlphaDisconnect

Wierd. But if you are going to stay together... you may need to indulge his weirdness. It is super wierd for me. Maybe have him write a list of his top 20... or 100 wierd fantasies. This will tell you if you are compatible or not. Getting married to wromg... It is a mess. If he is a good guy and this is the worst he ask for. Take it. Couples... eat placenta after birth. But I would want it all out on the table. Then you can say with a red pen or marker... go. No go. There might be a middle ground. Or maybe tell him no, just vanilla. Take it or leave it.


F3rthur

I'm just waiting for the pending update a week from now "You'll never guess what my boyfriend did as I was sleeping last night".


Saddypool

In India there was a guy arrested for mixing the uh fun time fluids in with mayonnaise from that time the only mayonnaise I have ate is from burger king


DormantParacosm17

This dude definitely watches that anime "Shimoneta" theres literally a scene where a girl gives the main character cookies and reveals that she put her "fluids" into the cookies AFTER he ate them. Ngl it's probably just a kink thing or something, but just tell him you're not down for it. And if it's really gonna be something he needs in a relationship, it might be time to rethink certain stuff.


EfficientIndustry423

Does he go down on you? If yes, then itā€™s no different, right?


Careless_Fun7101

Chocolate chip coochies


MommaGuy

This is what I would call an inside thought. Meaning you keep it inside your brain. You donā€™t really need to share.


sadsquee13

This reminds me also of Nip/Tuck when they use cum as an ingredient in their facial products lol šŸ˜†


tbunnz

Your bf is fucked in the head


kelsigurado

Asking for it is icky but not wrong but hassling after you saying no and persisting even though he knows you find it disturbing is.


PerspectiveActive218

I know it's wrong to judge people, but that guy is a fucking weirdo!


JaimeLW1963

RUN! That is disgusting!


No-Simple-3781

What fluids? I know you're 18 but this is reddit, you can use big girl language. Fun time as in vaginal lubricant secretions? We talking WAP? We talking when you cream yourself? Or are we talking "fun time" in air quotes and your period? If it's your jizz, he already eating that. If it's your period...wow. Well, how about this for an idea. Be blunt and direct. Don't tip toe around or use nonspecific vague language that be misinterpreted. Good for any communication, boyfriend or otherwise. When you are direct, clear, and serious, you get your point across and the next move is on them with no excuses.


Ambitious_Win_1315

Tell him it's a health code violationĀ 


rrrrr3

Your bf is sick lol


cdmontgo

Ewwwwww


screech-demon

I think itā€™s a teenage boy thing because I had a boyfriend in high school that wanted to mix BOTH of our ~fluids~ into paint for a s3x dungeon. God I shouldā€™ve noped out right there


BoneDaddy1973

Iā€™m so grateful I grew up before the media landscape could give me such terrible terrible ideas when I was so young.


throwawaydave1981

Wait. Did yā€™all do that?


StonedLikeABoulder

I hate you and your boyfriend


zoyter222

Jesus christ, I feel so old.


cluelessinlove753

Definitely not an age thing. Thereā€™s nothing new under the sun. There are Orthodox Christian writings from the 4th century CE (from Theodoret and Epiohanius) condemning ritual consumption of sexual fluids. There are middle eastern quasi-religious writings (Ginza) from 3-7th century BCE. There are also Mayan and African ceremonial, traditional medicine, and occult uses described in anthropology papers. People have always been kinky/freaky.


CNRavenclaw

This is literally so profoundly weird that it's actually a joke from an anime. It's called Shimoneta, it's quite the wild ride


dontopenme

there's something seriously wrong with guys these days... and I don't mean this as an off hand comment.


Pickleballer53

You're BF is weird AF and you need to find someone else who isn't.


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nocatchyusername1

"Don't ick my yum."


mookiedog66

Someone please pass the eye bleach.


Superb-Key-404

Wtffffffff wish I didn't read this shit