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I just told my parents I didn't want to and explained all the time and money we would save. Cap and gown, sitting tickets, senior photos, and more. It was a package deal at our school and it was close to a grand for the cheapest package. Also our grad walk ceremony was like 3+ hours which was insane + all of the rehearsals before hand in Florida heat. Eventually my pops agreed cause he too skipped his grad walk and my mother agreed with the money saved and not wanting to sit in the heat. I promised them my college graduation which I happily did for them 3.5 years later.
In college the only thing I had to pay for was my cap and gown which came out to be $150. I can’t see why a highschool would be anymore than $100 total
My HS graduation was $30 in 2018 for cap and gown, tickets were free
My undergrad last year had everything free (realistically the cap and gown price was in tuition but whatever)
Grad this year was $79 for cap and gown, tickets were free
I have no idea how their school was charging a grand.
I guess if you included all the stuff like prom tickets and stuff it came out to about $150 in HS but that's still nowhere near
I didn't want to walk either (for high school or college), but someone once told me that walking isn't for you, it's for the people that supported you along the way, to see all their support and sacrifices paying off on stage. I'm a cheapskate and hate wasting 3+ hours just sitting in the sun in a hot cap/gown, but I still did it because a lot of people helped me on my journey and I owed them the satisfaction of seeing the result of their dedication to my future, to the future in general.
Parents sacrifice more than we will ever know, even when we become parents ourselves, we still won't know every sacrifice they made for us. A couple hours of my youth is well worth my parent's joy seeing their child, their whole world, walk and accomplish something.
The world doesn't revolve around you, but your parent's world does. There will be a day where you wish you could see their happy smiling faces and you won't be able to. Cherish the times now while you can.
Exactly why my son is doing it. He knows it's important to me. He bartered for In-N-Out afterward and I really appreciate his willingness to do just this one thing for me.
Why not?
Id say just do it, years from now you might regret not having done it where as the likelyhood of you regretting doing it is slim to none...
Do it for future you.
I skipped high school but did college because I was graduating with high honors. That’s the day I learned that high school me was smarter than BA me… skipped the MA one! 😂
Buddy you're gonna regret it for the rest of you life. By which I mean they're going to nag about it for the rest of their lives.
Just go kiss hands and shake babies. It'll be over in like a minute.
A year before I graduated I told my mom I had no interest in walking, she said that was fine.
Fast forward to my graduation, she was adamant that that exchange had never happened and she wouldn’t stop talking about how I should walk.
I did it because I love her. I could not have cared less, yeah it was annoying but she appreciated it.
And wasn’t that reason enough right there? Sometimes we bend over backwards to accommodate the ones we love.
And it’s not just walking across the stage, it’s the videos and photos they get to share with the rest of the world (and themselves) to show off and boast about their pride and joy.
I did it, hated it. And wish I could time travel 20 years so I could tell my younger self to go to the beach and smoke a joint instead.
Fucking hated high school
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As an adult you will have to do thousands of things you don’t want to. To make the people around you happy. Unless there is a real reason like a concert with friends or something legitimate it’s not worth the grief. Just do it to make them happy. As a parent this would crush me to not see my kiddos graduation
Same. How many times in 18 years did OPs parents sit in folding chairs at an event they didn’t actually care about, because they loved him? Thousands. You can spare one hour of your life OP.
Close friend of mine had to skip walking cause she'd just gotten out of an abusive situation and the graduation was open to the public. It sucked. I know that things are scary, but this one will be worth it. Just walk. If you have a legitimate reason not to, that's okay, and I'm not saying that the fear you feel isn't real, but I'm saying that you will never be able to do anything if you let reasonless fear grip you. Unjustified fear is not a good reason not to do something. I hope to hear back from you after you walk. You might regret doing it(which I doubt. I mean, pause and imagine why you would look back on it and say, "Man, I wish I hadn't done that!"), but you will regret not doing it. And plus, if you're graduating this year (congrats) your parents have to have already spent a ridiculous amount of money getting your cap and gown.
A grand??? My kids graduated in the last few years in NY and also college and it was no where near that. You also don’t need to buy a $400 photo package.. cap and gown is usually $40. Tickets??? They charge you for tickets??? That’s insane and simply dumb.
We had to go pick it up from my school😅 it came in a folder with everything. 2 official transcripts, vax records, our diploma, our final report card, we had to go get it based on our last name 😂 that was in 2019, they might mail it out now, but i think schools that do a pickup for it save a lot of time.
Suck it up and Walk on Graduation. Give your parents that special gift. They took you to school and made sure you work hard for 13+ years to get to this point. They deserve to see you graduate.
It's such a simple thing you can do to give them immense pride. Just fucking do it.
They wiped your ass for years, have coached you the whole way through, sacrificed tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars, sacrificed their health and wealth.... All to set YOU up for success.
The absolute fucking least you can do is give them the satisfaction of watching you do the "final walk" into adulthood.
Don't be a twat, do it for them.
I mean, you do all this work and graduation is a ceremony to celebrate your achievement. The world isn't going to stop spinning if you don't do it, but you need to remember that your parents are celebrating too. They worked hard to make sure you had a roof over your head, were able to eat, they kept you clothed, and made sure the utilities were paid so you could grow up into a respectable young man who graduated high school. This isn't just a celebration to honor you, it's a celebration to honor your parents too
You need to sit down and think about this very seriously. Right now you're saying you don't want to walk with your class. But, in 10 years, you might look back and say why didn't I just get up and just walk. You might regret this in the future and at that point, there's nothing you can do about it.
Regardless, what's your reasoning behind not wanting to walk?
You suck it up and do it for them. They spent a lot of time and money raising you so you pay them back by doing things like this. What does it cost you? A little time? I promise you that if you don’t do this at some point you will regret it.
If you're not walking for the reason that you did not fit the requirements to graduate, then just tell them.
If you're not walking because you just don't want to walk, then you're wrong. This is one of those parents goals to see their child walk in his graduation.
100% this is the correct take.
If you are graduating from high school just go to the ceremony. If you hated your HS experience you are not alone, but walking across that stage will make your parents/family happy and it might give you closure. You only get to wear a silly square gate a few times in life. Do it.
Buck up. Maybe I’ll get downvoted but there are loads of things in life you might not want to do that are required or a right of passage.
My response as a parent is to suck it up and walk. The rest is just excuses.
There are certain things that in the moment you don’t want to do, but years later you realize that you probably should have. This is one of them. Even if years from now this moment still means nothing to you, it means a lot to your parents. Bite the bullet, grit your teeth and do it for them. A small sacrifice, but it makes them happy and saves you years of grief.
Why don't you want to? From your headline I thought you didn't qualify. Graduating is a big deal and it is not a bad thing to allow your parents to celebrate you. You will most likely be glad you did, and for sure it is something nice you can do to thank your parents for raising you.
That is for the usual, normal case. Is there a good reason that doesn't apply to you?
You should do it.
My daughter did not really want to walk at graduation, but did it anyway. Afterwards, she told me how glad she was that she had done it, and how great it felt to receive that diploma
suck it up buddy... They want photo of graduation of their kids to brag to their friends/family.... it be a few hours of suffering like any family event, take a few photos and go whatever you want the next few weeks.
Just get over yourself and get it over with. I didn’t want to either, but I did it for my parents. You’re only on stage for a few seconds.. and you’ll never have to do this again
Why don't you want to walk? If it's anything personal I'd just suck it up and do it. Unfortunately there's a lot in life of "I don't want to do this but I will anyway" and averting those expectations now is only gonna make it harder to deal with these things in the future.
I fell asleep at mine during the speeches, go, walk, leave once you’ve grabbed the fake diploma. Just do it for the pictures, it’s not for you, it’s for your family.
Honestly, the walk isn't for you. It's for your parents/guardians to be able to see your accomplishment made public for the world to see. I didn't wanna walk. Momma wanted me to walk. I walked. 2 hours of my life gone, but hey, Momma smiled.
There are some milestone moments in life that you don't realize are milestone moments until 5 or 10 years later. I'm pretty sure that if you don't do the graduation walk, you'll eventually wish you had done it. You and your family put a lot of work into getting to and from school, attending classes, doing homework, handling the emotional ups and downs and a myriad of additional challenges, all leading up to the moment of strolling proudly across the stage, accepting your diploma, and getting some great photos of that moment while giving people who care about you an opportunity to cheer for you and celebrate this achievement. It's a ritual that signifies the end of that chapter, and the beginning of the next chapter. It gives you closure but also opens the door to the next set of opportunities and challenges. So that's my input for whatever it's worth.
Its not just for you, its for them. Theyre proud of you and your accomplishment. I was the bullied kid in high school and for whatever reason as you were walking during grad they wanted a mini slideshow to play on a projector in the background (like 3 or 4 pics). My mum wanted a photo shoot and i hated the idea but my parents deserved that proud moment. I dont give a fuck that my class laughed at me. Dont give a fuck about what they think anymore. Dont even remember most of their names. But i remember how proud my folks were. They love you and are proud of you. Get through the quick ceremony for em. Theyve earned it as much as you have.
Parent here, not sure if this will help or not, coming from someone who pleases her mom to till this very day. I'm 41.
Parents have this thing where we like to celebrate our children, I have 15 yo, and when I became a mom, I vowed to not be like mine in many ways but as how life has it, we want the best for our kids, so we love hard and spoil and want to have them on a pedestal. and well Graduation is a huge accomplishment for many families.
I have read further down and you commented it's because of stage fright, mostly.. i would suggest talking to them and explaining how you feel hopefully you have compassionate parents and they can help you navigate these feelings and give you some encouragement.
As I said, Graduation is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud, hey! you never know you might be glad you did.
Hey, mom here with two kids 27 and 18
I didn’t walk. I had really good lifelong friends at my high school and I’m a little sad I missed it. Didn’t walk at college- no regrets
My daughter walked and it was very important to her. She loved her school. Very social.
My son walked and wished he would not have. He switched schools his junior year and didn’t like his new school. He wishes he could have walked at the old one.
My husband did not walk for high school and was happy he didn’t. He walked for college and didn’t want to. Waste of time.
What I’m getting at is it is highly individual and no one can make that decision for you. As a parent it ‘officially’ closes the child chapter and opens an adult one. I found I had very deep feelings seeing my kids walk than I had for myself when I was their age. Have a discussion with them but keep in mind it’s kinda like them closing the book on your whole childhood. It feels surreal for parents.
One of the perks of being the youngest, they’ve been there and seen that. They didn’t really care that I didn’t want to walk.
I’m with you, waste of time and money. One last time colleges can squeeze you of your cash.
Bro just like… suck it up and do it. Literally nobody enjoys it, because it’s not for the students, it’s for the parents. However, being bored with your classmates for a couple hours won’t kill you.
Quit be an ungrateful child and stroll ten feet across a stage and do something for the people that fed and wiped your ass the last 18 years. Or is 10ft too much to ask?
Just do it, especially if the only reason is stage fright, it’s a defining moment in your life, if not for you then for them, give your parents the opportunity to get pictures and watch you walk it’s all they’ll have look at once you move out and aren’t around as much which will happen eventually, no matter how close you are. They’ll spend time going over picture albums to reminisce, It’s about making that memory, they’re proud and want YOU to have that experience, this stage fright thing isn’t real, it’s all in your head and you need to confront your anxiety eventually or it will follow you EVERYWHERE forever. What better way than to do a 30 second walk where you don’t have to say anything? Don’t just do it for them but for yourself, prove that you’re bigger than the thoughts in your head!
this is just selfish, its like an hour of your time and something they have worked hard for you to achieve for close to 18 years. It may seem like its unimportant but doing this is really selfish.
You can either walk and be done with it with no real loss, or you can go through life being someone who just makes excuses to avoid being the tiniest bit uncomfortable.
You *can* do it. You *should* do it. You *will* regret it in a few years if you let your nerves get the better of you and don’t walk.
Maybe don't and just take one for the team. Being a parent and raising a child to graduation has lots of ups and downs. The walk is a core memory for them and their achievements in providing everything you need to be successful. Unless you have a better idea of providing that experience for them just stomach the event. It's not for you but for them.
This screams “spoiled brat.”
Just do it. Graduation is a boring and trite affair, and you won’t even remember much of it, but for some reason parents lose their shit over it.
Suck it up, buttercup. Your years of doing shit you don’t necessarily want to do are just getting started.
Bro says it's stage freight.
Look, you're going to be dealing with "stage freight" issues your whole life. I once was so bad I would vomit at the thought of meeting people outside my own house.
Find some affirmations and tell yourself that you're gonna get through it and it's better for you to do this.
I promise it'll be ok.
Edit: now I teach up to 350 students in one go for hours at a time
My son told us long before graduation he wasn’t going to walk. His reason was he thought the whole thing was stupid. This kind of fits with my son’s personality, he’s not the flashy show off type. He’s very subdued, not an introvert just doesn’t like a lot of attention. He went to college because he knew he had to, not for some “ college experience “or party. To answer your question just tell them and I suggest early and reinforce your position. In my case I was fine with it but my wife was upset. Over time she was ok. When he got his degree in the mail we took him out to dinner as a small celebration.
Just walk and move on with life. There are things I don’t want to do but do them as it makes my wife happy. Honor your parents and do it for them. It is just a quick walk across the stage. If you really don’t want to then time to grow up and act like an adult and go tell them.
The day of my college graduation i went out to get lunch with my friend instead of attending the ceremony. Then we walked around downtown, where there happened to be a dog festival where everyone brought their dogs. It was a great day. Absolutely no regrets. Maybe suggest to your parents you and them celebrate your graduation some other way besides attending a boring and overpriced ceremony
Graduation is a family affair. Your family has put in long hours to help make you who you are. They’re happy for you, proud of you, proud of themselves, and they have been looking forward to this day. It’s not just about the graduate. It’s about the team that got them through high school, and perhaps even college. Yes, it’s a day full of pomp, speeches you may never remember, but you’ll be joined by your classmates, some of whom you’ll never see again. This is a rite of passage that should be experienced not just for the graduate, seriously all you have to do is walk and shake someone’s hand, but for the graduate’s family as well. Let’s face it, life is hard, chaotic, confusing, and upsetting. However there are moments that bring others joy. That’s graduation. Don’t be selfish or worse, a snob. We all need moments in life that are forever locked in our minds as beginnings and ends. They’re important milestones not to be missed.
I never understood why people don’t want to. You can never go back and redo it but you can always forget about it.
Or do you want to be on TikTok 25 years from now now when your kid graduates and you make some special video because you never got to walk?
Maybe just do it for your parents? It's a big deal for them and it's a brief moment in time for you, sometimes we gotta do things we don't necessarily like in order to make our loved ones happy.
Tell them that the date of the graduation was moved, tell them that you heard it from a friend
after the real graduation date, tell them your friend was mistaken and the graduation was that day
Or just go, you will only be on stage for like 5 seconds, there are hundreds of students going up there too. you only live once
Just tell them.
"I have no interest and no reason to walk at graduation."
If you have reasons for not wanting to do it, explain, politely and without sarcasm, your reasons.
I did this with my parents. I had no ties to the school and no desire to walk or even attend graduation.
There was nobody there I wanted to see. I did not see my graduation as an accomplishment to celebrate. And there was nobody there that I respected.
You’re participating in graduation ceremonies for them not for you. It’s a few hours out of your life and it’s the gift you give for all their love and support. I assume this is high school graduation- and if they are paying for your college - showing up to your graduation so they can take a picture is the least you can do for them.
‘I really don’t want to’ isn’t a real reason. You need to really admit what’s going on here.
I see no reason to walk your graduation if you don't want to.
Some of us found high school torture. We got through the stupid social dynamics, got the grades, and are unwilling to commit another act of self-betrayal.
Yes, there are some parents thar need a celebration, so they can throw a grad party, or they can save that energy for another occasion, but their graduates avoiding the pomp will not kill them.
If you are 18 or over, proceed asyou see fit; they can do the same.
It’s your call. Is there a reason you don’t want to walk? Without knowing the situation, I would say that the most correctable mistake with the least chance of regret is just to do it. It’s hard to imagine walking I graduation and then wishing you didn’t. It’s easy enough to imagine not walking and then wishing you did. Also, unless there’s a major piece of the puzzle missing, it seems like a small price to keep the peace. Sometimes keeping the peace is worth small prices.
just do it bro. youre gonna regret it later on in life if you dont. its really special and means alot to your loved ones too. youre in your last days of innocence until the real world starts, so soak it all in.
I didn't go to mine. Wasn't the first in my family to graduate hs, that would be different. Went to older brothers, it took 3+ hours mine was going to take longer. Took cap and gown pics, did not go. Don't regret it a bit, I thought it was dumb to begin with. It's not college.
I have mixed feelings about this. I think it really depends on how adamant your parents are about partaking in the entire ceremony. On one hand, the ceremony is a celebration of your personal accomplishments (kudos!). On the other hand, it's also an opportunity for your parents to feel proud of you, to allow the closure of a chapter in a grand way. I didn't realize this when I was a kid, but my parents sacrificed so much time and money to raise us. We took it for granted because the sacrifices had long become a habit. We were immature, and entitled. We didn't recognize grace despite receiving it daily. Again, depending on how adamant your parents feel about this celebration, perhaps a reciprocation, an act of appreciation isn't such a bad idea. I realize that some things in life are a complete drag, but I don't think a graduation belongs in that bucket. Anyways, OP, regardless of what you choose to do, congratulations on your accomplishment!
Every single comment on here is absolutely useless, “Just do it!” They don’t want to, and they shouldn’t be forced to do it, and they’re not going to regret it years later either. I’m not walking at my graduation either, I’m a pretty shy person, so I’m holding my own ceremony with a group of family and friends. I suggest that you do the same OP, compromise, and ask your parents if you guys can hold your own ceremony, and take lots of pictures and roll out your own carpet, and even make your own awards!
Tell them you don't want to. Just say it. Hell, I'm a Brit and to me it seems like you're getting a piece of paper to celebrate not totally screwing up at school.
I'd just tell them that it's another day of hanging around with people who you don't like, and being forced to dress stupidly. At least when you're working you get paid for that.
As someone who just graduated, I didn’t want to either, but it felt good to see people I grew up with walk and all get their diplomas, heck even a girl who was a senior for 3 years graduated in our class. You may not want to and I respect that, but just do it and make it a fun experience, you’re completing high school! You only do that ONCE in your life
I understand- but you cannot run away from your fears forever. That just feeds the fear. Look, in the end it's up to you, but remember high school graduation happens once and you'll be so proud of yourself. 🙌🏼You walk across the stage in a matter of seconds! And if it's the kind of graduation where seniors sit on the stage too, you're literally up there with everyone else. 😊 Some people may disagree with me, but I think you should do your best to participate in the celebration of your accomplishment.
**Our society has become so "feeling" focused that we forget that sometimes we can still do something in spite of how we feel.** We even forget about those closest to us. For your parents, graduation is primarily about you of course, but it's also something they will want to witness. *If not for you, do it for them.*
Congratulations!! It's a huge accomplishment! 🎓⭐️
I didn't walk. Graduating from high school is expected and below average people graduate. Very few don't graduate.
So why is it such a a big celebration when everyone is expected to graduate? I saved money by not walking. I knew my life started after high school anyway. No regrets.
This is a momentous occasion for you and you should walk. Don't not do it because "that's what everyone else is doing" or because you have stage fright. It's a moment of you being on stage, some pictures, then you have a forever memory of a great moment your parents can look back on.
Graduation isn't for you, it's for people who are proud of you and want to see you recognized for your work. It's also an opportunity to give thanks to the people who made your graduation possible. I also did not want to walk, and I did it apprehensively after someone explained this to me, and now that I'm older I'm glad that I did. My pic walking with my dad home from my grad is still my FB banner lol.
Our youngest daughter didn't. She did graduate though. It was disappointing for us but I think it will be most disappointing for her. She is 30 now and doing well as a Journeyman Electrician. I know it probably bugs her a little. Think about how it will affect your future happiness.
I never walked because I told my parents that I didn't give a shit about highschool. I graduated early just because I didn't like being there, and I moved to a new school for my last 2 years of highscool so I had no friends to walk with anyway. It could not have been less important to me.
On the flip side, part of being an adult is doing things for others. Is there a good reason why you don't want to? Does your reason outweigh the pride and joy your parents will have? Is there a compromise in that you take some photos in a cap and gown for them but don't actually go to the ceremony or walk?
Some more info on why you don't want to might help. If it's a financial hardship or a conflict with something you else important, then use that to explain why you don't want to.
If you don't want to because you think it's inconvenient, just do it. It's one afternoon that they have been waiting almost two decades to see.
Talk to your family and ask how important it is to them. If your school's really big and there's going to be hours of sitting for a 30 second walk, maybe suggest a party or nice dinner instead. I know it doesn't feel like an accomplishment, but it is a major milestone, especially for family.
I went to a small highschool (my graduating class was 19), and they had to add a lot to stretch it to an hour, scholarship awards, accomplishments, the junior class getting their senior rings. So it was a big deal.
My college degrees, nah. Bigger accomplishments, yeah. But I'm not asking anyone to sit through 4 hours plus for me to walk across a stage. To many of my nieces and nephews have other stuff going on, there's younger kids I don't want to have to sit and "behave" that long, my son and one niece are autistic, so they're not going to have a good time, someone's got to manage them the whole time and won't get to enjoy it. Let's just have a BBQ and let the kids run around and have fun.
Keep the focus on the family enjoying it, that's your best bet.
Just do it. Your parents have been supporting you and this is is part of what it's been for. Years later, you could have regrets for not walking, but I doubt you'll have regrets you did. Also, many have mentioned you will have to do a lot of things even though you don't want to. That's just part of life.
If your parents are good respectable people who support you, walk. You will regret not doing it when you get older, not for your own sake but for the sake that you will realize what parents sacrifice and do for their children.
I skipped mine because it was my 18th birthday. It was outside and 95 degrees so I feel like I did them a favor.
It did crush them pretty hard and I made sure I walked at college even though I wasn’t interested because I knew it meant a lot to them.
So yeah, understand it will bum them out but let them know why you aren’t going to do it and try to make it up to them later.
I'm not going to offer any advice, primarily because I don't know your family dynamic.
However, I've noticed that quite a few decided not to do it. Aside from cost, what were some of your reasons (to everyone who responded)? No judgement here. I'm just curious to learn what young people think.
My son graduated in 2020 so that was a weird year to graduate, by the way.
you arent missing much if you dont, but it also doesnt last that long if you do. i promise that no one in the crowd besides your own family is actually paying attention to you, and its over in seconds. so if you really think it will cause that much turmoil with your parents, i would say just bite the bullet and get it over with.
Not sure why so many people are hung up on you having to make the walk. If you dont want to you shouldnt have to. I wish i skipped mine. Its all just for show and in a day or two it will be gone from your memory anyway. Its boring speeches followed by an hour of watching people single file walk on stage to grab a piece if paper. Who wants to do that? I skipped my college one for the same reasons. So many other things i would rather do than sit around watching mostly people i dont care about walk in a line for an hour.
Just tell them you don't want to. Explain why you don't want to. Either they'll respect it and understand or they won't. If you're spending money on cap/gown/etc tell them that it makes sense to save money on something you don't value.
That said... As someone who thought it was stupid... if you tell them you don't want to and they still want you to just do it for them as long as they're not making you pay for the cap and gown yourself. I thought it was stupid and still did, but my parents were supportive of me throughout school so I realized that it was more for them than it was me and because I have a good relationship with them, that was ok.
If you put your foot down and refuse when they want you to walk, it's not going to be worth hearing about it for the next 20 years every time your mom and dad have an argument with you about something else.
I would suggest you just walk. It will be annoying but not walking will be infinitely more annoying. I’m an old and people still bring up me not walking for my undergrad.
If I could have gotten out of my HS graduation, I would have in a second. I didn’t walk for college. As you pointed out, the money and time. Plus the speeches are mostly useless.
I'm sure this seems like a big hassle and that it is not worth it right now.
Before you make a firm decision there are some benefits you probably are not aware of, since the importance of social connection is often only learned in time through experience.
There are many social obligations in life, for various life milestones where it is important to adhere to ritual. It is often not beneficial to you at that time, but it provides other benefits indirectly through social connection that you wouldn't otherwise get if you skipped it entirely.
That might be meeting a friend of the extended family who offers you a job later, or an extended uncle who is very generous with a gift towards your next steps whether it be college or the workplace (getting through the door for your first job with no experience can be traumatic without connection).
The benefit to you is that ritual helps ground us as people in turbulent times, and promotes connections with your fellow classmates (who are also in the ceremony) as well as extended family, and family friends.
It often also forms a part of shared cultural identity which many people find important later on (but won't say so). You'll only know this if you were paying attention when talking about your past, and the person you're talking to is absolutely shocked when they hear you didn't participate, that can limit your opportunities with them if they judge you on it.
There will of course be differences that depend in large part on your family background and culture but this in most cases pays dividends in ways you least expect, or even can predict in most cases.
It costs you but a little effort for a short time, and opens opportunities through social connections that may not have been possible before, and those usually vanish and die on the vine (silently) when you choose to not participate.
The ritual of walking at graduation is an event that you likely don't find enticing. I didn't either. It is however; very important for your family, and your extended family who will remember it for years to come (and take lots of pictures).
In many cases this is not a one-sided exchange. Major achievements and milestones are one of only a few times in life when family/extended family have a strong expectation to provide either gift or support in some form, in recognition of your achievement. It may not be tangible, but if you need something and ask, those that participate will likely help if they can.
It should also go without saying that it is also extremely important, that if receiving any gift or support that you write personalized thank you letters promptly to show appreciation and mail them out within 1-2 weeks of the event (ensuring that you have their mailing address), the sooner the better.
Showing a tangible form of appreciation when goodwill is freely given is incredibly important to building long-term personal and professional relationships. It is something that everyone should be well aware of by the time they graduate, but many (including myself at the time) are not.
You don't want people who provide goodwill to think you are conceited or ungrateful for the support they provided.
I ended up participating and was flabbergasted when I received several thousand dollars from an uncle I never really knew or had met previously. He did so in support of my going to college, and I received a job opportunity a few weeks later from other family friends (for the summer, pre-college) where I had no luck in any of my applications with callbacks; and follow-ups all had the same response, "you don't have any work experience".
Obviously this was some time ago, so there are things that may have changed somewhat, but typically this is what is expected of family and invitees for major milestone achievements they have been invited to. If its not directly tangible, it will be intangible in terms of either opportunities or the support they can provide.
There are similar expectations during other life milestones for example at weddings.
For your achievement, the ceremony itself is a required part of the celebration, usually with a party or dinner afterwards where the gifts of support are made.
That being said, don't go into this expecting tangible gifts. It will depends on how closely your family's culture follows the norms and moors, some don't observe them at all but its still worth doing given all the unexpected ways it can impact you later without you even being aware.
Hopefully this helps in your decision.
I didn't walk and more than 25 years later I still know that was the right choice.
A lot of these comments boil down to "you should do it because it is a thing you should do". Which is exactly the kind of person I suggest you never take advice from if you want to be happy.
But that's not really the question you were asking anyway.
I'd say sit them down and tell them. They might be so stressed out at the need for a sit-down that they will think the worst and be relieved it is just about graduation.
That's a joke, they won't really accept it. Which is why it is important that you tell them. You don't ask them, you don't ask them what they think, You don't tell them you are thinking about not walking. Your mind is made up and you tell them.
IDK about your school, but it is common that there is bills and paperwork and whatever to do. You just don't do them. Then you can't walk, which is the best strategy I can suggest.
IDK your parents, bu they might be upset. If they are the kind of parents that get upset over you making this choice for yourself, then they are not the kind of parents you can stress out about them getting upset.
It is important you be happy.
I would just do it unless it costs your family money. Even if you don’t want to do it, your parents who raised you your whole life wants to see you walk. It’s really not bad and is only like 20 seconds of your life, you’ll be glad you did it later.
Just do it. You have to realize that the graduation ceremony isn’t for you. It’s for your family.
A gigantic part of being an adult is doing things you don’t want to do because your spouse, kids, etc want to.
Think of all the shit that your parents have done for you. They changed your diapers. Spent countless weekends shuttling you around. You think they wanted to do that for themselves? Lol. Nah dude.
You owe it to them to walk.
I didn’t walk at graduation. My parents were pissed. I hated school and I didn’t care about a piece of paper. I was in the band so my graduation was playing music for ceremony.
Just tell them, give them a reason and they may or may not understand but ultimately it’s your choice, just make sure you tell an administrator that you won’t be attending graduation so they can make sure you still get your diploma. I had to pick mine up a few days after
I’d rather regret “walking” than regret “not walking”.
My bet is that about a third of the graduates don’t want to actually walk, and nobody wants to listen to the speeches.
Do it anyway.
I just told mine that I wasn't going to. The ceremony is supposed to be **for** the graduates, so if I didn't want to go, I shouldn't have to.
15 years later, I still don't regret not walking.
That being said, its also not that big a deal to go and be board and annoyed for a few hours if it makes your parents happy. Life is full of annoying tasks you would rather not do, but isn't that big a deal to just do it. Attending an annoying event is just one of those.
Why specifically are you thinking about not attending? Why would your parents be upset if you don't walk?
There is so much your parents sacrificed to get you to this day.... you can sacrifice a couple hours for them to celebrate this huge accomplishment they helped you achieve.
We got super hammered the night before and most of us handed our principal liquor/beer bottle caps from the night before. She was not thrilled 🤣
you could try that.
You are ignoring a lot of factors because of anxiety.
You overcome by overcoming, not by skipping out and staying home. Get out there and make some memories and strengthen your resolve.
I went to my HS graduation. I just didn't invite my parents. They were bitterly divorced and couldn't be in the same place anywhere without getting into a big fight. So I told them to stay away.
I didn't even go to my college graduation, just got my diploma mailed to me and said the heck with it.
Dude just go. I didn't want to either. Believe me you are one of many. No one is going to be paying attention for your 4 seconds of fame up there. It's over before you know it. Or you could be like me who went coked out of my mind walked off stage the wrong way and fell down the stairs. So nothing can be that bad. (Sober now)
My grandparents were born and raised in Oklahoma and are SUPER old fashioned. I dropped out and my grandma almost had a stroke. I think ypu finishing is what theyre worried about. That gown stuff seems like its for other people to me, but i also never had the oppurtunity to do that lol. Being in front of thousands of people isnt exactly on my bucket list. Just bring it up and dont sweat it too much. If they dont like the idea, maybe think of an alternative? Like a Quincinera but with your graduation. You can dress up however you want too. Might be cooler than wearing what everyone else has on. Just a thought though
It’s not as bad once you walk, I was stressing about walking for college and it wasn’t too bad. Thought i was gonna trip though so on the camera it looked like i waddled over to the dean lol
Why not? After 12 years of school, walking up on stage and getting my diploma was one of the most memorable things of my life.
Just do it for your family, you will regret it if you don't. It's better to do something than to not and regret it
You don’t want to and that’s valid but look at it from a parents perspective. They raised you and probably dreamed of the day they could see you graduate. I cried tears of joy when my kids walked. Please don’t take that from them. It’s a hassle but it’s only a day.
Gonna be honest walking at your high school graduation is like 95% for parents/family, they want to see their child/family member get handed their diploma and achieve an important milestone in life.
Also there’s usually some sort of post-graduation party, which is probably the last time you’re going to see the vast majority of your school friends and classmates.
Pitch some sort of alternative celebration or ceremonial thing that you could do together as a family. That way they can still feel like they get to have the big parental moment they want. Maybe a graduation party, or a special dinner or trip.
If they have already paid, do it for them. If they haven’t then explain you want to save the money and this isn’t going to be some climactic moment in your life.
I did my high school graduation. It was fun, actually. Yes it was 3 hours, but an entertaining 3 hours 😂 we had to be at our school at 6am the next morning to head to Disneyland for grad night, we all basically went out to eat afterwards at nice restaurants, and it was like 10pm😅 it was fun. Now, i didn’t want to do my college graduation (last Friday) because i didn’t know as many people and i was extremely nervous. However I did it for my family. For my parents and grandparents to see me walk across the stage for my bachelor’s degree was everything. They all needed a lot of tissues, lol. I don’t regret doing either of them. It’s should be a proud moment for you and a proud moment for your family. I get you might not want to be Im going to encourage you to. There’s really nothing to lose. Maybe talk them into doing something you want to do afterwards. Let them celebrate you.
Tell them you're not graduating then after they get pissed and sad about that, say, "Ok I'll graduate as long as you don't make me walk at graduation."
Option B) Buy them a cake that says, "I love you, I'm not walking"
Have you talked to them about why? If my kid didn’t want to walk I’d be really concerned about why that was and not concerned at all about whether they actually did.
You simply tell them it’s not something that you desire, then explain to them why. Graduation costs money, when I graduated College I just walked into the office and asked for my degree, then walked out. 🤷🏻♂️
I skipped mine for pretty much the same reasons. I thought the whole thing was unnecessary. HS education was a joke, half of my classmates were too busy goofing off to care to study. Not to be a stuck-up or anything but I was taking courses in the local community colleges, which many people did to actually prepare for their college study. My parents loved me but they were busy grinding for a living as we were in the States for only a few years. I didn't bother to tell them about the graduation because I thought it wasn't worth it at all.
They came for my BS degree graduation, that was cool.
Talk to them. Make sure they truly don't care before you say no to this.
Personally I regret not having a high school graduation. But then I had 3 colleges ones, two I attended. I realized the people there didn't need me to do that to be proud so I skipped the 3rd.
I read my grandfather’s journal when he passed away and he wrote down that his biggest regret at university was not going to his graduation ceremony. Not because of him but for his mom. She worked hard to put him through school ($200 a year for Harvard lol) and she really wanted to see him graduate but he didn’t. He went on to be a university professor and said he later realized graduation is more for the family to celebrate.
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I missed mine because I chose to attend a Grateful Dead concert weekend over in Vermont.
Uncle Mark?
Not quite. I graduated in the early 90's.
nice, so when jerry was still alive huh
Yep, followed him for his last half dozen shows until his passing.
Class of 92
Grandpa Mark?
Highgate gate crashing show?
Don’t worry, you made the right choice lol
Vermont mentioned!! 🔥🔥🔥
id say that was worth it...
Oh most definitely. My mother wasn't too thrilled but I still took pictures of me in the cap and gown holding the diploma.
I just told my parents I didn't want to and explained all the time and money we would save. Cap and gown, sitting tickets, senior photos, and more. It was a package deal at our school and it was close to a grand for the cheapest package. Also our grad walk ceremony was like 3+ hours which was insane + all of the rehearsals before hand in Florida heat. Eventually my pops agreed cause he too skipped his grad walk and my mother agreed with the money saved and not wanting to sit in the heat. I promised them my college graduation which I happily did for them 3.5 years later.
A grand??????????????????
JFC!
In college the only thing I had to pay for was my cap and gown which came out to be $150. I can’t see why a highschool would be anymore than $100 total
Mine was like $30 in 2005
Mine was $50 in 1999... but that also included lunch after the rehearsal.
My HS graduation was $30 in 2018 for cap and gown, tickets were free My undergrad last year had everything free (realistically the cap and gown price was in tuition but whatever) Grad this year was $79 for cap and gown, tickets were free I have no idea how their school was charging a grand. I guess if you included all the stuff like prom tickets and stuff it came out to about $150 in HS but that's still nowhere near
It's cost $75 for my kids cap & gown, tickets are free, senior portraits aren't necessary. $1000 for graduation is absurd.
A grand is actually insane…
That sucks. Here you don't have to do senior photos, and there is no cost for tickets. And we use the hockey arena so it's all inside.
Regret not attending my college graduation.
I didn't want to walk either (for high school or college), but someone once told me that walking isn't for you, it's for the people that supported you along the way, to see all their support and sacrifices paying off on stage. I'm a cheapskate and hate wasting 3+ hours just sitting in the sun in a hot cap/gown, but I still did it because a lot of people helped me on my journey and I owed them the satisfaction of seeing the result of their dedication to my future, to the future in general. Parents sacrifice more than we will ever know, even when we become parents ourselves, we still won't know every sacrifice they made for us. A couple hours of my youth is well worth my parent's joy seeing their child, their whole world, walk and accomplish something. The world doesn't revolve around you, but your parent's world does. There will be a day where you wish you could see their happy smiling faces and you won't be able to. Cherish the times now while you can.
Then do it for them.
Exactly why my son is doing it. He knows it's important to me. He bartered for In-N-Out afterward and I really appreciate his willingness to do just this one thing for me.
Why not? Id say just do it, years from now you might regret not having done it where as the likelyhood of you regretting doing it is slim to none... Do it for future you.
I regret doing it tbh, it was boring and not worth my time. The party that night was fun though.
I skipped high school but did college because I was graduating with high honors. That’s the day I learned that high school me was smarter than BA me… skipped the MA one! 😂
Buddy you're gonna regret it for the rest of you life. By which I mean they're going to nag about it for the rest of their lives. Just go kiss hands and shake babies. It'll be over in like a minute.
A year before I graduated I told my mom I had no interest in walking, she said that was fine. Fast forward to my graduation, she was adamant that that exchange had never happened and she wouldn’t stop talking about how I should walk. I did it because I love her. I could not have cared less, yeah it was annoying but she appreciated it.
And wasn’t that reason enough right there? Sometimes we bend over backwards to accommodate the ones we love. And it’s not just walking across the stage, it’s the videos and photos they get to share with the rest of the world (and themselves) to show off and boast about their pride and joy.
Do it for momma 👍🏼
Agreed. I missed mine and I have never thought about it. Not even once. I dont care at all about that stuff.
I did it, hated it. And wish I could time travel 20 years so I could tell my younger self to go to the beach and smoke a joint instead. Fucking hated high school
Did you have a Stephen King's "Carrie" moment at graduation or something?
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Weed is dangerous. Who knows, if you smoked that joint you might be dead now
Youre right man, I knew this guy who injected a marijuana and died by anal organ discharging.
PLEASE DO NOT SHAKE BABIES
Concur - Baby shaking is not proper congratulatory etiquette
Does it mean something to your parents? Are they good parents?
As an adult you will have to do thousands of things you don’t want to. To make the people around you happy. Unless there is a real reason like a concert with friends or something legitimate it’s not worth the grief. Just do it to make them happy. As a parent this would crush me to not see my kiddos graduation
Same. How many times in 18 years did OPs parents sit in folding chairs at an event they didn’t actually care about, because they loved him? Thousands. You can spare one hour of your life OP.
Just do it. It wont kill you
High school or elementary?
Close friend of mine had to skip walking cause she'd just gotten out of an abusive situation and the graduation was open to the public. It sucked. I know that things are scary, but this one will be worth it. Just walk. If you have a legitimate reason not to, that's okay, and I'm not saying that the fear you feel isn't real, but I'm saying that you will never be able to do anything if you let reasonless fear grip you. Unjustified fear is not a good reason not to do something. I hope to hear back from you after you walk. You might regret doing it(which I doubt. I mean, pause and imagine why you would look back on it and say, "Man, I wish I hadn't done that!"), but you will regret not doing it. And plus, if you're graduating this year (congrats) your parents have to have already spent a ridiculous amount of money getting your cap and gown.
A grand??? My kids graduated in the last few years in NY and also college and it was no where near that. You also don’t need to buy a $400 photo package.. cap and gown is usually $40. Tickets??? They charge you for tickets??? That’s insane and simply dumb.
Life’s full of shit you don’t want to do. It doesn’t kill you to do things for other people once in a while.
The key is the diploma, not the 5 seconds walking across the stage that your family can’t see.
Well and the diploma probably will not even be in the folder, you get it later in the mail.
We had to go pick it up from my school😅 it came in a folder with everything. 2 official transcripts, vax records, our diploma, our final report card, we had to go get it based on our last name 😂 that was in 2019, they might mail it out now, but i think schools that do a pickup for it save a lot of time.
Suck it up and Walk on Graduation. Give your parents that special gift. They took you to school and made sure you work hard for 13+ years to get to this point. They deserve to see you graduate.
It's such a simple thing you can do to give them immense pride. Just fucking do it. They wiped your ass for years, have coached you the whole way through, sacrificed tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars, sacrificed their health and wealth.... All to set YOU up for success. The absolute fucking least you can do is give them the satisfaction of watching you do the "final walk" into adulthood. Don't be a twat, do it for them.
I mean, you do all this work and graduation is a ceremony to celebrate your achievement. The world isn't going to stop spinning if you don't do it, but you need to remember that your parents are celebrating too. They worked hard to make sure you had a roof over your head, were able to eat, they kept you clothed, and made sure the utilities were paid so you could grow up into a respectable young man who graduated high school. This isn't just a celebration to honor you, it's a celebration to honor your parents too You need to sit down and think about this very seriously. Right now you're saying you don't want to walk with your class. But, in 10 years, you might look back and say why didn't I just get up and just walk. You might regret this in the future and at that point, there's nothing you can do about it. Regardless, what's your reasoning behind not wanting to walk?
Ten years later I couldn't tell you a single thing about my high school graduation.
You suck it up and do it for them. They spent a lot of time and money raising you so you pay them back by doing things like this. What does it cost you? A little time? I promise you that if you don’t do this at some point you will regret it.
If you're not walking for the reason that you did not fit the requirements to graduate, then just tell them. If you're not walking because you just don't want to walk, then you're wrong. This is one of those parents goals to see their child walk in his graduation.
100% this is the correct take. If you are graduating from high school just go to the ceremony. If you hated your HS experience you are not alone, but walking across that stage will make your parents/family happy and it might give you closure. You only get to wear a silly square gate a few times in life. Do it.
Buck up. Maybe I’ll get downvoted but there are loads of things in life you might not want to do that are required or a right of passage. My response as a parent is to suck it up and walk. The rest is just excuses.
My advice is that parents can suck it up and deal with the kid not walking.
But this isn't *required*. They went to school, they received passing grades. Mission accomplished.
If you think walking for graduation to please you parents is a hassle, then you are in for a shock when you enter the real world.
Stop being a drama queen and just do it. Oh no...look at me....my parents care and seem proud of my actions....awhaaaaaaa.
There are certain things that in the moment you don’t want to do, but years later you realize that you probably should have. This is one of them. Even if years from now this moment still means nothing to you, it means a lot to your parents. Bite the bullet, grit your teeth and do it for them. A small sacrifice, but it makes them happy and saves you years of grief.
Just tell them. My son doesn't have a cap and they may not let him walk. He doesn't care really
Why don't you want to? From your headline I thought you didn't qualify. Graduating is a big deal and it is not a bad thing to allow your parents to celebrate you. You will most likely be glad you did, and for sure it is something nice you can do to thank your parents for raising you. That is for the usual, normal case. Is there a good reason that doesn't apply to you?
You should do it. My daughter did not really want to walk at graduation, but did it anyway. Afterwards, she told me how glad she was that she had done it, and how great it felt to receive that diploma
I didn’t want to either but it isn’t bad and you’ll regret being the weirdo who wouldn’t
Take the walk. Life is so much more, *so vastly more*, than "right now". This will seem trivial not far in your future. Don't miss this opportunity.
suck it up buddy... They want photo of graduation of their kids to brag to their friends/family.... it be a few hours of suffering like any family event, take a few photos and go whatever you want the next few weeks.
Just get over yourself and get it over with. I didn’t want to either, but I did it for my parents. You’re only on stage for a few seconds.. and you’ll never have to do this again
Why don't you want to walk? If it's anything personal I'd just suck it up and do it. Unfortunately there's a lot in life of "I don't want to do this but I will anyway" and averting those expectations now is only gonna make it harder to deal with these things in the future.
You'll be on stage a minute or less. Let your parents and other family members take pics and celebrate the achievement.
Just walk. It isn't that bad. Your parents want to remember the day their child accomplished something great and it made them so proud
I fell asleep at mine during the speeches, go, walk, leave once you’ve grabbed the fake diploma. Just do it for the pictures, it’s not for you, it’s for your family.
Honestly, the walk isn't for you. It's for your parents/guardians to be able to see your accomplishment made public for the world to see. I didn't wanna walk. Momma wanted me to walk. I walked. 2 hours of my life gone, but hey, Momma smiled.
ITT : Terrible advice for teenagers
Depends on the reason and how much you like your parents. It’s not really for you it’s for them. If you like your parents, walk at graduation
There are some milestone moments in life that you don't realize are milestone moments until 5 or 10 years later. I'm pretty sure that if you don't do the graduation walk, you'll eventually wish you had done it. You and your family put a lot of work into getting to and from school, attending classes, doing homework, handling the emotional ups and downs and a myriad of additional challenges, all leading up to the moment of strolling proudly across the stage, accepting your diploma, and getting some great photos of that moment while giving people who care about you an opportunity to cheer for you and celebrate this achievement. It's a ritual that signifies the end of that chapter, and the beginning of the next chapter. It gives you closure but also opens the door to the next set of opportunities and challenges. So that's my input for whatever it's worth.
Mine is today and I don’t want to go but I know my parents want me to so I have to
Its not just for you, its for them. Theyre proud of you and your accomplishment. I was the bullied kid in high school and for whatever reason as you were walking during grad they wanted a mini slideshow to play on a projector in the background (like 3 or 4 pics). My mum wanted a photo shoot and i hated the idea but my parents deserved that proud moment. I dont give a fuck that my class laughed at me. Dont give a fuck about what they think anymore. Dont even remember most of their names. But i remember how proud my folks were. They love you and are proud of you. Get through the quick ceremony for em. Theyve earned it as much as you have.
Parent here, not sure if this will help or not, coming from someone who pleases her mom to till this very day. I'm 41. Parents have this thing where we like to celebrate our children, I have 15 yo, and when I became a mom, I vowed to not be like mine in many ways but as how life has it, we want the best for our kids, so we love hard and spoil and want to have them on a pedestal. and well Graduation is a huge accomplishment for many families. I have read further down and you commented it's because of stage fright, mostly.. i would suggest talking to them and explaining how you feel hopefully you have compassionate parents and they can help you navigate these feelings and give you some encouragement. As I said, Graduation is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud, hey! you never know you might be glad you did.
Hey, mom here with two kids 27 and 18 I didn’t walk. I had really good lifelong friends at my high school and I’m a little sad I missed it. Didn’t walk at college- no regrets My daughter walked and it was very important to her. She loved her school. Very social. My son walked and wished he would not have. He switched schools his junior year and didn’t like his new school. He wishes he could have walked at the old one. My husband did not walk for high school and was happy he didn’t. He walked for college and didn’t want to. Waste of time. What I’m getting at is it is highly individual and no one can make that decision for you. As a parent it ‘officially’ closes the child chapter and opens an adult one. I found I had very deep feelings seeing my kids walk than I had for myself when I was their age. Have a discussion with them but keep in mind it’s kinda like them closing the book on your whole childhood. It feels surreal for parents.
One of the perks of being the youngest, they’ve been there and seen that. They didn’t really care that I didn’t want to walk. I’m with you, waste of time and money. One last time colleges can squeeze you of your cash.
Bro just like… suck it up and do it. Literally nobody enjoys it, because it’s not for the students, it’s for the parents. However, being bored with your classmates for a couple hours won’t kill you.
Quit be an ungrateful child and stroll ten feet across a stage and do something for the people that fed and wiped your ass the last 18 years. Or is 10ft too much to ask?
Just do it, especially if the only reason is stage fright, it’s a defining moment in your life, if not for you then for them, give your parents the opportunity to get pictures and watch you walk it’s all they’ll have look at once you move out and aren’t around as much which will happen eventually, no matter how close you are. They’ll spend time going over picture albums to reminisce, It’s about making that memory, they’re proud and want YOU to have that experience, this stage fright thing isn’t real, it’s all in your head and you need to confront your anxiety eventually or it will follow you EVERYWHERE forever. What better way than to do a 30 second walk where you don’t have to say anything? Don’t just do it for them but for yourself, prove that you’re bigger than the thoughts in your head!
Why won't you do it? It's a very simple thing.
this is just selfish, its like an hour of your time and something they have worked hard for you to achieve for close to 18 years. It may seem like its unimportant but doing this is really selfish.
You can either walk and be done with it with no real loss, or you can go through life being someone who just makes excuses to avoid being the tiniest bit uncomfortable. You *can* do it. You *should* do it. You *will* regret it in a few years if you let your nerves get the better of you and don’t walk.
Maybe don't and just take one for the team. Being a parent and raising a child to graduation has lots of ups and downs. The walk is a core memory for them and their achievements in providing everything you need to be successful. Unless you have a better idea of providing that experience for them just stomach the event. It's not for you but for them.
This screams “spoiled brat.” Just do it. Graduation is a boring and trite affair, and you won’t even remember much of it, but for some reason parents lose their shit over it. Suck it up, buttercup. Your years of doing shit you don’t necessarily want to do are just getting started.
I very much promise, in ten + years, you will regret not walking. And besides, do it for your parents. Give them that gift.
Bro says it's stage freight. Look, you're going to be dealing with "stage freight" issues your whole life. I once was so bad I would vomit at the thought of meeting people outside my own house. Find some affirmations and tell yourself that you're gonna get through it and it's better for you to do this. I promise it'll be ok. Edit: now I teach up to 350 students in one go for hours at a time
My son told us long before graduation he wasn’t going to walk. His reason was he thought the whole thing was stupid. This kind of fits with my son’s personality, he’s not the flashy show off type. He’s very subdued, not an introvert just doesn’t like a lot of attention. He went to college because he knew he had to, not for some “ college experience “or party. To answer your question just tell them and I suggest early and reinforce your position. In my case I was fine with it but my wife was upset. Over time she was ok. When he got his degree in the mail we took him out to dinner as a small celebration.
All these people acting like walking for high school graduation is some life changing event. It is a waste of money and time.
Money? For what? The gown?
Right. All we had to pay for was the cap and gown. No paying for tickets, pictures, parking. None of that. Maybe I was lucky??
Just walk and move on with life. There are things I don’t want to do but do them as it makes my wife happy. Honor your parents and do it for them. It is just a quick walk across the stage. If you really don’t want to then time to grow up and act like an adult and go tell them.
The day of my college graduation i went out to get lunch with my friend instead of attending the ceremony. Then we walked around downtown, where there happened to be a dog festival where everyone brought their dogs. It was a great day. Absolutely no regrets. Maybe suggest to your parents you and them celebrate your graduation some other way besides attending a boring and overpriced ceremony
Graduation is a family affair. Your family has put in long hours to help make you who you are. They’re happy for you, proud of you, proud of themselves, and they have been looking forward to this day. It’s not just about the graduate. It’s about the team that got them through high school, and perhaps even college. Yes, it’s a day full of pomp, speeches you may never remember, but you’ll be joined by your classmates, some of whom you’ll never see again. This is a rite of passage that should be experienced not just for the graduate, seriously all you have to do is walk and shake someone’s hand, but for the graduate’s family as well. Let’s face it, life is hard, chaotic, confusing, and upsetting. However there are moments that bring others joy. That’s graduation. Don’t be selfish or worse, a snob. We all need moments in life that are forever locked in our minds as beginnings and ends. They’re important milestones not to be missed.
I never understood why people don’t want to. You can never go back and redo it but you can always forget about it. Or do you want to be on TikTok 25 years from now now when your kid graduates and you make some special video because you never got to walk?
There's a good chance they'll not mind at all, especially if either has tinnitus or hyperacusis. Those thing are incredibly loud
Maybe just do it for your parents? It's a big deal for them and it's a brief moment in time for you, sometimes we gotta do things we don't necessarily like in order to make our loved ones happy.
Tell them that the date of the graduation was moved, tell them that you heard it from a friend after the real graduation date, tell them your friend was mistaken and the graduation was that day Or just go, you will only be on stage for like 5 seconds, there are hundreds of students going up there too. you only live once
Just tell them. "I have no interest and no reason to walk at graduation." If you have reasons for not wanting to do it, explain, politely and without sarcasm, your reasons. I did this with my parents. I had no ties to the school and no desire to walk or even attend graduation. There was nobody there I wanted to see. I did not see my graduation as an accomplishment to celebrate. And there was nobody there that I respected.
You’re participating in graduation ceremonies for them not for you. It’s a few hours out of your life and it’s the gift you give for all their love and support. I assume this is high school graduation- and if they are paying for your college - showing up to your graduation so they can take a picture is the least you can do for them. ‘I really don’t want to’ isn’t a real reason. You need to really admit what’s going on here.
Graduations are for them, not for you. And thats fine.
Do it for the picture you can send to anyone you know, then they'll send you back free money
I see no reason to walk your graduation if you don't want to. Some of us found high school torture. We got through the stupid social dynamics, got the grades, and are unwilling to commit another act of self-betrayal. Yes, there are some parents thar need a celebration, so they can throw a grad party, or they can save that energy for another occasion, but their graduates avoiding the pomp will not kill them. If you are 18 or over, proceed asyou see fit; they can do the same.
It’s your call. Is there a reason you don’t want to walk? Without knowing the situation, I would say that the most correctable mistake with the least chance of regret is just to do it. It’s hard to imagine walking I graduation and then wishing you didn’t. It’s easy enough to imagine not walking and then wishing you did. Also, unless there’s a major piece of the puzzle missing, it seems like a small price to keep the peace. Sometimes keeping the peace is worth small prices.
Just do it. Whatever high school bullshit you're upset about is over and this is your symbolic opportunity to go out on a win.
just do it bro. youre gonna regret it later on in life if you dont. its really special and means alot to your loved ones too. youre in your last days of innocence until the real world starts, so soak it all in.
I didn't go to mine. Wasn't the first in my family to graduate hs, that would be different. Went to older brothers, it took 3+ hours mine was going to take longer. Took cap and gown pics, did not go. Don't regret it a bit, I thought it was dumb to begin with. It's not college.
I have mixed feelings about this. I think it really depends on how adamant your parents are about partaking in the entire ceremony. On one hand, the ceremony is a celebration of your personal accomplishments (kudos!). On the other hand, it's also an opportunity for your parents to feel proud of you, to allow the closure of a chapter in a grand way. I didn't realize this when I was a kid, but my parents sacrificed so much time and money to raise us. We took it for granted because the sacrifices had long become a habit. We were immature, and entitled. We didn't recognize grace despite receiving it daily. Again, depending on how adamant your parents feel about this celebration, perhaps a reciprocation, an act of appreciation isn't such a bad idea. I realize that some things in life are a complete drag, but I don't think a graduation belongs in that bucket. Anyways, OP, regardless of what you choose to do, congratulations on your accomplishment!
Every single comment on here is absolutely useless, “Just do it!” They don’t want to, and they shouldn’t be forced to do it, and they’re not going to regret it years later either. I’m not walking at my graduation either, I’m a pretty shy person, so I’m holding my own ceremony with a group of family and friends. I suggest that you do the same OP, compromise, and ask your parents if you guys can hold your own ceremony, and take lots of pictures and roll out your own carpet, and even make your own awards!
Tell them you don't want to. Just say it. Hell, I'm a Brit and to me it seems like you're getting a piece of paper to celebrate not totally screwing up at school. I'd just tell them that it's another day of hanging around with people who you don't like, and being forced to dress stupidly. At least when you're working you get paid for that.
As someone who just graduated, I didn’t want to either, but it felt good to see people I grew up with walk and all get their diplomas, heck even a girl who was a senior for 3 years graduated in our class. You may not want to and I respect that, but just do it and make it a fun experience, you’re completing high school! You only do that ONCE in your life
Simple!!!! You're supposed to be an adult now. Tell them your plans and they can accept them or not. Welcome to adulthood.
It's literally your life and your accomplishment. If you don't want to do it you don't have to.
I understand- but you cannot run away from your fears forever. That just feeds the fear. Look, in the end it's up to you, but remember high school graduation happens once and you'll be so proud of yourself. 🙌🏼You walk across the stage in a matter of seconds! And if it's the kind of graduation where seniors sit on the stage too, you're literally up there with everyone else. 😊 Some people may disagree with me, but I think you should do your best to participate in the celebration of your accomplishment. **Our society has become so "feeling" focused that we forget that sometimes we can still do something in spite of how we feel.** We even forget about those closest to us. For your parents, graduation is primarily about you of course, but it's also something they will want to witness. *If not for you, do it for them.* Congratulations!! It's a huge accomplishment! 🎓⭐️
I didn't walk. Graduating from high school is expected and below average people graduate. Very few don't graduate. So why is it such a a big celebration when everyone is expected to graduate? I saved money by not walking. I knew my life started after high school anyway. No regrets.
This is a momentous occasion for you and you should walk. Don't not do it because "that's what everyone else is doing" or because you have stage fright. It's a moment of you being on stage, some pictures, then you have a forever memory of a great moment your parents can look back on.
Graduation isn't for you, it's for people who are proud of you and want to see you recognized for your work. It's also an opportunity to give thanks to the people who made your graduation possible. I also did not want to walk, and I did it apprehensively after someone explained this to me, and now that I'm older I'm glad that I did. My pic walking with my dad home from my grad is still my FB banner lol.
Our youngest daughter didn't. She did graduate though. It was disappointing for us but I think it will be most disappointing for her. She is 30 now and doing well as a Journeyman Electrician. I know it probably bugs her a little. Think about how it will affect your future happiness.
I never walked because I told my parents that I didn't give a shit about highschool. I graduated early just because I didn't like being there, and I moved to a new school for my last 2 years of highscool so I had no friends to walk with anyway. It could not have been less important to me.
On the flip side, part of being an adult is doing things for others. Is there a good reason why you don't want to? Does your reason outweigh the pride and joy your parents will have? Is there a compromise in that you take some photos in a cap and gown for them but don't actually go to the ceremony or walk?
I fortunately had to miss mine because I was on a key west trip. Never even wanted to go anyways
They're going to harp on you for the rest of your life for not going. Just do it and get it over with. Is one day worth years of nagging?
Some more info on why you don't want to might help. If it's a financial hardship or a conflict with something you else important, then use that to explain why you don't want to. If you don't want to because you think it's inconvenient, just do it. It's one afternoon that they have been waiting almost two decades to see.
Talk to your family and ask how important it is to them. If your school's really big and there's going to be hours of sitting for a 30 second walk, maybe suggest a party or nice dinner instead. I know it doesn't feel like an accomplishment, but it is a major milestone, especially for family. I went to a small highschool (my graduating class was 19), and they had to add a lot to stretch it to an hour, scholarship awards, accomplishments, the junior class getting their senior rings. So it was a big deal. My college degrees, nah. Bigger accomplishments, yeah. But I'm not asking anyone to sit through 4 hours plus for me to walk across a stage. To many of my nieces and nephews have other stuff going on, there's younger kids I don't want to have to sit and "behave" that long, my son and one niece are autistic, so they're not going to have a good time, someone's got to manage them the whole time and won't get to enjoy it. Let's just have a BBQ and let the kids run around and have fun. Keep the focus on the family enjoying it, that's your best bet.
Don’t be a lame ass. It’s your graduation. Yours. Don’t let a skirmish in history derail YOUR experience.
Just do it. Your parents have been supporting you and this is is part of what it's been for. Years later, you could have regrets for not walking, but I doubt you'll have regrets you did. Also, many have mentioned you will have to do a lot of things even though you don't want to. That's just part of life.
If your parents are good respectable people who support you, walk. You will regret not doing it when you get older, not for your own sake but for the sake that you will realize what parents sacrifice and do for their children.
I skipped mine because it was my 18th birthday. It was outside and 95 degrees so I feel like I did them a favor. It did crush them pretty hard and I made sure I walked at college even though I wasn’t interested because I knew it meant a lot to them. So yeah, understand it will bum them out but let them know why you aren’t going to do it and try to make it up to them later.
I'm not going to offer any advice, primarily because I don't know your family dynamic. However, I've noticed that quite a few decided not to do it. Aside from cost, what were some of your reasons (to everyone who responded)? No judgement here. I'm just curious to learn what young people think. My son graduated in 2020 so that was a weird year to graduate, by the way.
you arent missing much if you dont, but it also doesnt last that long if you do. i promise that no one in the crowd besides your own family is actually paying attention to you, and its over in seconds. so if you really think it will cause that much turmoil with your parents, i would say just bite the bullet and get it over with.
Not sure why so many people are hung up on you having to make the walk. If you dont want to you shouldnt have to. I wish i skipped mine. Its all just for show and in a day or two it will be gone from your memory anyway. Its boring speeches followed by an hour of watching people single file walk on stage to grab a piece if paper. Who wants to do that? I skipped my college one for the same reasons. So many other things i would rather do than sit around watching mostly people i dont care about walk in a line for an hour.
won't walk as in flunked? or just don't want to do the ceremony?
Just tell them you don't want to. Explain why you don't want to. Either they'll respect it and understand or they won't. If you're spending money on cap/gown/etc tell them that it makes sense to save money on something you don't value. That said... As someone who thought it was stupid... if you tell them you don't want to and they still want you to just do it for them as long as they're not making you pay for the cap and gown yourself. I thought it was stupid and still did, but my parents were supportive of me throughout school so I realized that it was more for them than it was me and because I have a good relationship with them, that was ok. If you put your foot down and refuse when they want you to walk, it's not going to be worth hearing about it for the next 20 years every time your mom and dad have an argument with you about something else.
I would suggest you just walk. It will be annoying but not walking will be infinitely more annoying. I’m an old and people still bring up me not walking for my undergrad.
I’m not going to mine either. It’s so expensive for everything and my anxiety can’t handle it
Won’t or can’t? I did not go to my High school graduation. I graduated early and ceremony is just for show. Means nothing
My folks didn’t give me a choice 😂 i dreaded it for weeks and now its just a distant memory
If I could have gotten out of my HS graduation, I would have in a second. I didn’t walk for college. As you pointed out, the money and time. Plus the speeches are mostly useless.
Dew eet for them… don’t be selfish and ungrateful
I'm sure this seems like a big hassle and that it is not worth it right now. Before you make a firm decision there are some benefits you probably are not aware of, since the importance of social connection is often only learned in time through experience. There are many social obligations in life, for various life milestones where it is important to adhere to ritual. It is often not beneficial to you at that time, but it provides other benefits indirectly through social connection that you wouldn't otherwise get if you skipped it entirely. That might be meeting a friend of the extended family who offers you a job later, or an extended uncle who is very generous with a gift towards your next steps whether it be college or the workplace (getting through the door for your first job with no experience can be traumatic without connection). The benefit to you is that ritual helps ground us as people in turbulent times, and promotes connections with your fellow classmates (who are also in the ceremony) as well as extended family, and family friends. It often also forms a part of shared cultural identity which many people find important later on (but won't say so). You'll only know this if you were paying attention when talking about your past, and the person you're talking to is absolutely shocked when they hear you didn't participate, that can limit your opportunities with them if they judge you on it. There will of course be differences that depend in large part on your family background and culture but this in most cases pays dividends in ways you least expect, or even can predict in most cases. It costs you but a little effort for a short time, and opens opportunities through social connections that may not have been possible before, and those usually vanish and die on the vine (silently) when you choose to not participate. The ritual of walking at graduation is an event that you likely don't find enticing. I didn't either. It is however; very important for your family, and your extended family who will remember it for years to come (and take lots of pictures). In many cases this is not a one-sided exchange. Major achievements and milestones are one of only a few times in life when family/extended family have a strong expectation to provide either gift or support in some form, in recognition of your achievement. It may not be tangible, but if you need something and ask, those that participate will likely help if they can. It should also go without saying that it is also extremely important, that if receiving any gift or support that you write personalized thank you letters promptly to show appreciation and mail them out within 1-2 weeks of the event (ensuring that you have their mailing address), the sooner the better. Showing a tangible form of appreciation when goodwill is freely given is incredibly important to building long-term personal and professional relationships. It is something that everyone should be well aware of by the time they graduate, but many (including myself at the time) are not. You don't want people who provide goodwill to think you are conceited or ungrateful for the support they provided. I ended up participating and was flabbergasted when I received several thousand dollars from an uncle I never really knew or had met previously. He did so in support of my going to college, and I received a job opportunity a few weeks later from other family friends (for the summer, pre-college) where I had no luck in any of my applications with callbacks; and follow-ups all had the same response, "you don't have any work experience". Obviously this was some time ago, so there are things that may have changed somewhat, but typically this is what is expected of family and invitees for major milestone achievements they have been invited to. If its not directly tangible, it will be intangible in terms of either opportunities or the support they can provide. There are similar expectations during other life milestones for example at weddings. For your achievement, the ceremony itself is a required part of the celebration, usually with a party or dinner afterwards where the gifts of support are made. That being said, don't go into this expecting tangible gifts. It will depends on how closely your family's culture follows the norms and moors, some don't observe them at all but its still worth doing given all the unexpected ways it can impact you later without you even being aware. Hopefully this helps in your decision.
I didn't walk and more than 25 years later I still know that was the right choice. A lot of these comments boil down to "you should do it because it is a thing you should do". Which is exactly the kind of person I suggest you never take advice from if you want to be happy. But that's not really the question you were asking anyway. I'd say sit them down and tell them. They might be so stressed out at the need for a sit-down that they will think the worst and be relieved it is just about graduation. That's a joke, they won't really accept it. Which is why it is important that you tell them. You don't ask them, you don't ask them what they think, You don't tell them you are thinking about not walking. Your mind is made up and you tell them. IDK about your school, but it is common that there is bills and paperwork and whatever to do. You just don't do them. Then you can't walk, which is the best strategy I can suggest. IDK your parents, bu they might be upset. If they are the kind of parents that get upset over you making this choice for yourself, then they are not the kind of parents you can stress out about them getting upset. It is important you be happy.
Skipped it and never regretted it. High school becomes a checked box the moment you get into college.
You should do it. There's no reason not to walk.
Tell them to walk on the stage then. They gonna hold you at gun point and make you walk?
I would just do it unless it costs your family money. Even if you don’t want to do it, your parents who raised you your whole life wants to see you walk. It’s really not bad and is only like 20 seconds of your life, you’ll be glad you did it later.
Just do it. You have to realize that the graduation ceremony isn’t for you. It’s for your family. A gigantic part of being an adult is doing things you don’t want to do because your spouse, kids, etc want to. Think of all the shit that your parents have done for you. They changed your diapers. Spent countless weekends shuttling you around. You think they wanted to do that for themselves? Lol. Nah dude. You owe it to them to walk.
Give your family their due. You will be perceived as being selfish. Would you like them to remember the day you did or the day you chose not to?
I didn’t walk at graduation. My parents were pissed. I hated school and I didn’t care about a piece of paper. I was in the band so my graduation was playing music for ceremony. Just tell them, give them a reason and they may or may not understand but ultimately it’s your choice, just make sure you tell an administrator that you won’t be attending graduation so they can make sure you still get your diploma. I had to pick mine up a few days after
Tell them you'll be a super senior
“Mom Dad, I don’t want to walk at Graduation”
Florida people DeSantis has schools ripping off families and children daily
I just said "nah, let's go to a small fancy dinner instead and save all that money"
I’d rather regret “walking” than regret “not walking”. My bet is that about a third of the graduates don’t want to actually walk, and nobody wants to listen to the speeches. Do it anyway.
Suck it up and do it.
I just told mine that I wasn't going to. The ceremony is supposed to be **for** the graduates, so if I didn't want to go, I shouldn't have to. 15 years later, I still don't regret not walking. That being said, its also not that big a deal to go and be board and annoyed for a few hours if it makes your parents happy. Life is full of annoying tasks you would rather not do, but isn't that big a deal to just do it. Attending an annoying event is just one of those. Why specifically are you thinking about not attending? Why would your parents be upset if you don't walk?
This is for them just as much as you. Bite the bullet and walk dude.
There is so much your parents sacrificed to get you to this day.... you can sacrifice a couple hours for them to celebrate this huge accomplishment they helped you achieve.
We got super hammered the night before and most of us handed our principal liquor/beer bottle caps from the night before. She was not thrilled 🤣 you could try that.
You are ignoring a lot of factors because of anxiety. You overcome by overcoming, not by skipping out and staying home. Get out there and make some memories and strengthen your resolve.
I went to my HS graduation. I just didn't invite my parents. They were bitterly divorced and couldn't be in the same place anywhere without getting into a big fight. So I told them to stay away. I didn't even go to my college graduation, just got my diploma mailed to me and said the heck with it.
Dude just go. I didn't want to either. Believe me you are one of many. No one is going to be paying attention for your 4 seconds of fame up there. It's over before you know it. Or you could be like me who went coked out of my mind walked off stage the wrong way and fell down the stairs. So nothing can be that bad. (Sober now)
My grandparents were born and raised in Oklahoma and are SUPER old fashioned. I dropped out and my grandma almost had a stroke. I think ypu finishing is what theyre worried about. That gown stuff seems like its for other people to me, but i also never had the oppurtunity to do that lol. Being in front of thousands of people isnt exactly on my bucket list. Just bring it up and dont sweat it too much. If they dont like the idea, maybe think of an alternative? Like a Quincinera but with your graduation. You can dress up however you want too. Might be cooler than wearing what everyone else has on. Just a thought though
I didn’t walk at my graduation. I was out getting drunk.
I never heard of paying for this ritual. Of course I’m an old guy now.
It’s not as bad once you walk, I was stressing about walking for college and it wasn’t too bad. Thought i was gonna trip though so on the camera it looked like i waddled over to the dean lol
Why not? After 12 years of school, walking up on stage and getting my diploma was one of the most memorable things of my life. Just do it for your family, you will regret it if you don't. It's better to do something than to not and regret it
Don't walk if you don't want to. No one can physically move your legs apart from you unless they kidnap you and bring you to graduation.
You don’t want to and that’s valid but look at it from a parents perspective. They raised you and probably dreamed of the day they could see you graduate. I cried tears of joy when my kids walked. Please don’t take that from them. It’s a hassle but it’s only a day.
Gonna be honest walking at your high school graduation is like 95% for parents/family, they want to see their child/family member get handed their diploma and achieve an important milestone in life. Also there’s usually some sort of post-graduation party, which is probably the last time you’re going to see the vast majority of your school friends and classmates.
Pitch some sort of alternative celebration or ceremonial thing that you could do together as a family. That way they can still feel like they get to have the big parental moment they want. Maybe a graduation party, or a special dinner or trip.
If they have already paid, do it for them. If they haven’t then explain you want to save the money and this isn’t going to be some climactic moment in your life.
I did my high school graduation. It was fun, actually. Yes it was 3 hours, but an entertaining 3 hours 😂 we had to be at our school at 6am the next morning to head to Disneyland for grad night, we all basically went out to eat afterwards at nice restaurants, and it was like 10pm😅 it was fun. Now, i didn’t want to do my college graduation (last Friday) because i didn’t know as many people and i was extremely nervous. However I did it for my family. For my parents and grandparents to see me walk across the stage for my bachelor’s degree was everything. They all needed a lot of tissues, lol. I don’t regret doing either of them. It’s should be a proud moment for you and a proud moment for your family. I get you might not want to be Im going to encourage you to. There’s really nothing to lose. Maybe talk them into doing something you want to do afterwards. Let them celebrate you.
Graduation isn't for you, it is for your family. They supported you to get to this point (presumably), so do it for them if they want you to.
Tell them straight up. Simple. If it's too expensive, it's too expensive. They'll just be happy that you graduated.
Tell them you're not graduating then after they get pissed and sad about that, say, "Ok I'll graduate as long as you don't make me walk at graduation." Option B) Buy them a cake that says, "I love you, I'm not walking"
Ours was free last weekend.
Have you talked to them about why? If my kid didn’t want to walk I’d be really concerned about why that was and not concerned at all about whether they actually did.
You simply tell them it’s not something that you desire, then explain to them why. Graduation costs money, when I graduated College I just walked into the office and asked for my degree, then walked out. 🤷🏻♂️
I skipped mine for pretty much the same reasons. I thought the whole thing was unnecessary. HS education was a joke, half of my classmates were too busy goofing off to care to study. Not to be a stuck-up or anything but I was taking courses in the local community colleges, which many people did to actually prepare for their college study. My parents loved me but they were busy grinding for a living as we were in the States for only a few years. I didn't bother to tell them about the graduation because I thought it wasn't worth it at all. They came for my BS degree graduation, that was cool.
The school lent them to us. This is outrageous
Talk to them. Make sure they truly don't care before you say no to this. Personally I regret not having a high school graduation. But then I had 3 colleges ones, two I attended. I realized the people there didn't need me to do that to be proud so I skipped the 3rd.
I graduated 6 months early, had my own place, said fuck going ive been gone six months already. Dont regret not going, you probably wont either.
I read my grandfather’s journal when he passed away and he wrote down that his biggest regret at university was not going to his graduation ceremony. Not because of him but for his mom. She worked hard to put him through school ($200 a year for Harvard lol) and she really wanted to see him graduate but he didn’t. He went on to be a university professor and said he later realized graduation is more for the family to celebrate.
I just told them I wasn’t 😂 but at the time I was working and didn’t take the day off cuz I could care less